If he didn’t want more kids, he needs to work on his pull out game. 
3 Likes
If my partner didn’t want anymore kids I would go straight on contraception or suggest he get a vasectomy, either or. I’m not about to give him babies he doesn’t want.
2 Likes
My partner didn’t want more kids. I could’ve had another but am happy we decided not to. In the end it takes two to have safe sex. All these people saying YOU should’ve done this and YOU should’ve done that are full of it. Guess what. HE shouldn’t have shot a loaded gun and hoped the bullets didn’t land. She’s happy about the baby. So if he didn’t want it it should’ve been on HIM to make sure it didn’t happen.
7 Likes
Remind him u got into ur condition with his help!! He needs to grow up and step up. If he didn’t want more children he could have done something to prevent that!!!
4 Likes
Ask him how he would feel if something went wrong with the pregnancy! He would feel terrible and have that on his conscience! They are a blessing from God and there is always a reason for things!
Before I told my husband I was pregnant with my 4th I told him not to have a negative thought because he would have felt terrible if something happened! Now 20 years later we are attending all her college softball games! She was born 12 years after my 1st 3! I was 38 when I got pregnant! She has been our blessing! My oldest son and daughter each have 2 daughters and we lost our 22 year old son 8 years ago! It is difficult having 3 but time flies!!!
Congratulations!!!
sincerely remind him that you are no longer excited about your marriage. I couldn’t handle that. I would have toxic raged with my hormones and Godzilla packed his stuff. I don’t care how good of a man he is he isnt SH!T if he can say that about his unborn baby.
7 Likes
Ask him to go talk to someone with you. If he is this disconnected he needs to explain why ? And the excuse I didn’t want another child isn’t good enough. If he didn’t want more kids he should have covered it up. This could be come resentment towards this child. Get him to talk to someone or get out.
Nope. I wouldn’t be able to stay with my husband if not only did he treat me that way while pregnant (whether he’s excited or not, that’s no reason to treat you poorly. Pregnancy can cause many health problems and he should make sure YOU are okay), but also if I couldn’t trust him being a loving father to my baby.
Nope.
If he didn’t want any more then he should have put a rain coat on or gotten clipped… if you have done something to his protection ( put holes in them , or made him believe you were protected and wasn’t then shame on you for doing it knowing full well he didn’t want any more … either way you can’t force him to be happy about this child just hope he comes around before it is born and he loves this one as much as he does the others
7 Likes
So, a guy is angry about the consequences of his own actions… how original.
You didn’t make the baby on your own, he better buck up because unless he leaves, he’s getting another baby. Child support or love and support? The choice is his
9 Likes
Do what makes you happy, if you want to have one do it. It takes two to make a baby, he should’ve done his part if he wanted to be safe regardless. The baby’s here, it’s got no fault on you two’s decisions.
I would be seriously considering leaving now. If he’s already being like this during the pregnancy, imagine what he is going to be like to the child when they are actually here.
Sounds like you need to have a heart to heart talk, tell him your feelings and let him express his, even if you disagree, since he’s working 60 hours a week to support you and children maybe he’s worried about finances and feels overwhelmed, not justifying his lack of enthusiasm about a miracle you both created, just suggesting that maybe there are underlying reasons, hope it works out for all of you 
3 Likes
I am so sorry. This must be super challenging! Just reading this post made me tear up, I couldn’t imagine the man I’m married to acting like this towards a pregnancy of HIS child!
Please sit down and tell him exactly how your feeling, Maybe he will open up and tell you how he’s feeling and why…hopefully the two of you can come together and continue this pregnancy TOGETHER.
2 Likes
He might change when the baby is born
Don’t expect anything and you won’t be disappointed 
. Problem solved.
4 Likes
I don’t have any advice, I just really feel for you. There’s no lonelier feeling than having a baby on your own when your partner is right there. I really wish you all the best.
Girl I’m going to just throw this out there… im reading all these comments and seeing people say counselor and consequences of actions and but my child or children come first above all else! They come before anyone else and that would include my husband. Your husband is a grown damn man and if he can’t pull his head out and be excited with you about a baby he created with you from the very beginning then you need to get out right now and enjoy your life with your children without him. Love him or not he obviously doesn’t love you enough or he would have been excited from the second he saw the positive sign. So sweetie you do what is best for you and your babies and throw that gender reveal if thats what you want to do and don’t invite that ass*ole. Throw a baby shower and don’t invite him. Go to all the baby appointments and don’t invite him. Most likely you start living your life without him and enjoying it he will want to be apart of it then and it will be too late then.
He needs to hear these EXACT words.
1 Like
She calls the baby a miracle baby. I wonder if he did have a vasectomy or use contraception and they still got pregnant. I
4 Likes
I mean even I think gender reveals are stupid and I’m super excited for you and others pregnant! Ignore him when he does this. He didn’t want kids so you almost can’t blame him. He will warm up when baby arrives I could almost put money on it! Also sitting down and telling him your feelings is good too. He needs to know he’s really jeopardizing y’all.
I’m sorry he isn’t supportive of you when you really need it. He needs your support, too. 60 hours a week is 12 hour days, and now he’s looking at losing sleep at night (due to a new baby) with that schedule. Maybe he feels like you’re adding burdens when he already feels overburdened. Maybe it takes 60 hours a week just to provide for the kids you have and he doesn’t have it in him to work more hours to provide for another kid. Maybe you should ask him why he doesn’t want another kid, and if possible then try to come up with a compromise he can be happy with, about whatever is the reason. For instance, if he’s worried that he can’t work all these hours on that little sleep, come up with a sleeping arrangement he can accept. Or if he’s worried about having to work more hours to provide for this new little one, come up with a budget by which you all can live on his current salary with the new baby.
2 Likes
Hopefully he will come to love his little one like crazy once little one is here. Its different for those who can’t carry child. I would tell it it hurts your feelings and tell him how you feel though. He needs to try to at least support you especially since he should love you. ( I did go through something like this but my babies daddy was abusive. The physical abuse started while I was pregnant with our 3rd. He admitted years later he wished he would have hurt me enough to have killed our 3rd. I was emotionally done with him when he admitted it. But it still hurt even more. He revealed a lot of hate for our 3rd even when he was 4 years old. He never bonded and my ex never even had a job longer than 6 months our whole relationship!) This experience really sours my thinking for your situation but I hope you have a better relationship with your husband and that he will listen to you and your concerns. And who knows one day that child he thought he didn’t want will be his best friend. Plus it doesn’t help it sounds like he works a lot. When i worked over time I was always tuned out of my home life. It felt like it was just a blur.
1 Like
Bye bye to him if he isn’t excited and supporting u and the baby leave …he not a real man dad if he not helping supporting u two bye bye
1 Like
You can’t be upset cause he didn’t want anymore and has made this known to a lot apparently! Its not a miracle if its something your not wanting. To you maybe not him…
8 Likes
Tell him to get his head out of his ass or leave. If he’s like this while you’re pregnant then how’s he gonna be when your sweet baby is born? Is he going to treat your child like dirt their entire life? Put your foot down and tell him to get it together or get the hell out.
He was done. You’re saying Miracle… how did this happen. I have two, my tubes are tied, if I got pregnant I’d abort in a heart beat. I’m done I would be devastated if I got pregnant… I feel sorry for the husband
22 Likes
I have been in your shoes to an extent. My marriage was failing and I selfishly thought a 2nd baby would fix everything because he was excited and was an okay father to our first. We both agreed to try for #2. I got pregnant 9 months pp after my first and had such a horrible pregnancy. He was not involved or attached to this child. After trying for this one and successfully getting pregnant then nothing from him. I got 25 pounds over my pregnancy because I was so miserable, depressed, and unhappy. I honestly say to give it until the birth and if he still doesn’t come around then it’s time to walk away. Because it will never get better. I stayed in hopes of things changing and it only got worse. I was completely broken and damaged but I gained the strength to walk the hell away.
Well, he doesn’t want anymore children. Not sure what you expected.
Having a baby should be an enthusiastic YES from BOTH people involved.
6 Likes
I assume this wasn’t an immaculate conception and that he had some part in it. That’s ok, this child will know without being told and will be very close to you. Your husband’s loss.
Leave him NOW. Hes treating you like this now he’s not going to be good to the baby. Baby will be constantly reminded he didn’t want it. Get out now.
3 Likes
Why is the man always the bad guy and “leave” “he’s cheating” is brought up? Good lord, it’s like men aren’t allowed to have feelings. When they show them, they’re jerks, if they don’t, they’re jerks. Yet, somehow, women think they deserve every feeling, thought, want, need to be validated. Smh.
He didn’t want another child. Of course he isn’t going to be excited right now, if at all. Dang, give him time! You say he’s not interested in your feelings? Hello! You’re not taking his into consideration either. Try to back off the baby talk for a while. Give the man some room!
If I got pregnant again, having cute, tied, burned tubes, my youngest of 3 turning 15, I’d not be very excited, either. When you say you’re done, you’re done. Sure things happen, but it doesn’t mean ya gotta be happy about it, at first.
19 Likes
My guess is he feels betrayed. If he didn’t want another baby and then your pregnant, it’s dismissing his wants. It may be your miracle but obviously not his. It’s hard to be exited about something when you were never included in the decision.
6 Likes
I wasn’t excited for my last pregnancy. My husband knew that I wanted to wait a few years. It doesn’t change that I love my daughter. Actually the only one that I actually tried for and wanted to have was my first born. I’ve always loved my children but the last two pregnancies I had depression because I thought the timing was pretty bad. I’d give him time. He’ll probably warm up once he sees the baby. Just give him space and let him take the back seat.
1 Like
Firstly, do not have a gender reveal. Please stop that ridiculous trend that causes more harm and in cases death and destruction.
Secondly, if he didn’t want a child he should have been using protection or did you not take your pill on time. We don’t know the circumstances to fully comment.
However I can understand why he may feel overwhelmed. Having another child is not only about cuddles and cute smiles. It’s also a financial strain at times. You said you stay home. He works. He is overwhelmed and all you’re thinking about is this family you always wanted yet did not fully discuss with him. I am sorry you are going through this but you may need to seek professional guidance on how to deal with this
2 Likes
Married for 4 years and never got pregnant. Then all of a sudden I was!! My husband accused me of having an affair and this baby wasn’t his. I never cheated on him so went on with taking care of myself & going to my appointments alone. When our son was born he was a replica of my husband! Your husband will be okay when the time comes. He is adjusting right now about the addition. Ignore him when he says something but do your meals and all for him. Do everything you did before getting pregnant. He will realize this baby really won’t be a hardship for him. Babies really don’t cost that much except maybe clothing & diapers. Give yourself a baby shower!!
4 Likes
This is tough! Hugs to you… Take a breath and try to think of this from his angle. He sounds like he’s overwhelmed and exhausted working 60 hours a week He may not recognize it himself. Doesn’t sound like he has time to enjoy the two you have now. Time to sit down and have a heart to heart. How can you work on this together? Is there a way to lighten his load? You’re a team. This baby deserves and needs both parents. Best of luck.
3 Likes
I think if nothing else, y’all need to go talk to a therapist. He’s goons have to get over it. This baby is coming and he is the father. He’s gonna need help to get through whatever his mental block is
Everyone says leave because he’s not excited…REALLY…since when are men not allowed to have feelings…this man works 60 hours a week…has 2 kids…guess what…he’s tired …
Yes your pregnant…was this a real oops…or I want therefore I will have…
He is being honest with you…just let it be… hopefully when child is born he will love this child…
But no person should have to have extra responsibility when they are not ready or unable to handle…that is a great way to make resentment
14 Likes
It sounds like your hurt and you have every right to be. Just talk to him. Tell him everything you are telling us. Tell him how much it hurts. As much as you need to talk to him, you need to listen to him to. This is your reality and the baby is coming whether it is welcome or not. From there you can decide what it is that you need to prepare for Baby, whether that is with him or not.
Maybe he is going through a mid life crisis.
1 Like
I mean, he didn’t want anymore kids. If he told you that before you got pregnant again, then idk what to say!
2 Likes
He has issues and that’s rude. You need to communicate all this with him and then if hes still not empathetic or caring of your feelings have an unbiased 3rd party to help with these convos. And to the disgusting ppl talking about how they’d abort in a heartbeat if they got pregnant again what a sin and what a world of darkness we live in to kill your own child. Disgusting. God have mercy on your souls bc that is disgusting to brag about. Not knowing the sanctity of life is beyond sad. Ignore them. And pray for people like them. Congratulations! Try to communicate openly with him and if you can’t do that and have a non biased person like a counselor etc with you guys if that didn’t work just between you two then talk to someone yourself. You can’t change other’s behavior but he is your spouse and should love and respect you enough to hear that he’s hurting you repeatedly and to stop doing that. Tell him how you feel.
4 Likes
With how covid has been and now minimal people wanting to work. He’s probably exhausted and trying to get ahead.
3 Likes
Just give your husband time to adjust to another baby he will come around eventually when baby born. He just need time that’s all .things will turn out for the best .
I wouldn’t include him in anything from here on out. YOU pick the babies name. Tell him you’ve decided to change it. You throw a gender reveal party for yourself, you be excited for the both of you! When people start noticing he’s not involved… let HIM explain himself. He’s being really shitty and I’m sorry you’re going through this, but try your hardest to relax and not cause this baby anymore stress than he is.
1 Like
I’m really irritated by the “leave him” comments. Men are allowed to have and express their feelings and emotions. A lot of women have the same exact feelings about their babies that your husband is having. And the advice given to them is FAR more encouraging and empathetic. Take it a day at a time. He’ll likely come around once baby is here.
8 Likes
Were you using Birth control? Was he involved in the birth control or at least make sure you were covered before having sex ? If not then he gets what he gets . I would give him till the baby was born , if he doesn’t change his attitude toward the baby and its noticable then your child doesn’t deserve to be not wanted by someone living in tbe home. Start putting money away asap .
2 Likes
Well it takes 2 to tango, and he knows how babies are made. He knew pregnancy could happen if you have sex, and he took the risks. He needs to suck it up. He sounds like a child. I just hope he doesn’t treat that baby differently after it is born.
4 Likes
Hugs to you mama… I would be crushed too. Every child is a blessing although 3 is ALOTTTT… Together as a married couple you guys can and will over come the hardships of 3 kiddos. However he’s just expressing himself… Maybe he’s thinking long term. College. Weddings. Braces. Ect… It’s a lot. I have 3 but what he is saying is super hurtful. May be try to tell him… But also he may not care because he’s mad right now … I’m so sorry girl
He’s an ass and you and ALL your children deserve better
He isn’t just unexcited about the new baby he is showing he doesn’t care about YOU, YOUR health, or YOUR needs
Tell him point blank that he either loves ALL of you equally or he can love you guys from afar
Sending hugs your way! I went through this with my 3rd daughter and my ex husband! I was crushed and lonely the entire pregnancy but in the end he absolutely adores her and cant see life with out her, so there’s that! Congratulations on your pregnancy!
2 Likes
“it’s a miracle”… You know how kids are made. You knew he was done. Why does he have to be excited? 
6 Likes
Maybe he is just stressed as he feels like it will extra strain on him. Sometimes people don’t know how to express themselves…
I do however feel for you as this is a hard time your going through…
Disregard negative comments from people.
This sounds utterly selfish to me. A child is supposed to be a joint decision. And not a selfish need by 1 party. As it is, he’s suffering with work, 2 kids, yourself and he’s running all 3 of you alone, and do you think it’s easy? What if the tables were turned and he did something selfishly without consulting you first?? Also, bringing another child into an already hectic life, is absurd, as these things should be discussed and he shouldn’t have to deal with an accident. No wonder he’s acutely uninterested in this, bcos he did not want it. Period. If you so badly want a big family, you must understand the financial needs, physical needs, and psychological need before jumping into 3 , or 4 kids. He’s the one going to work trying to support you all. And it’s not right at all or thoughtful to simply drop the bomb that your pregnant again.
He’s not a bad father after all he’s been a wonderful parent Upto now. But he meant it when he said no more kids. Which part didn’t you hear???
13 Likes
I think that he’s just having a hard time adjusting to it. I mean if you think about it it’s a decision that’s completely out of his control but has a large effect on his life as well. I think he’ll come around for sure once the baby is actually here. Men have a hard time understanding what women actually go through with pregnancy however, with your emotions so high he really isn’t being very considerate of your feelings. I would try to talk to him about how you feel. He can say he didn’t want a pregnancy all he wants to, but if you’re having unprotected sex there’s always that risk so he can’t blame you for this it was both of your doing.
I feel like there are definitely major points missing here as it’s all from the wife’s point of view. We don’t know what they agreed on previously, if birth control was used and failed, etc…there is always more than one side to a story. Also I agree that he shouldn’t be a jerk to her during this time but he may feel a huge amount of financial pressure with another baby coming.
Have a baby shower anyways. If he wants to sook then he can miss out on thin. Do what makes you happy about sharing the news and celebrating.
He either needs to grow up and accept it.
2 Likes
Carry on about yr biz and IF after bubs is born he still is not happy time to really think if it’s a marriage you want where the father doesn’t care about the child or move on and be happy on yr own truth is he will likely come round
1 Like
I’d sit down and have a conversation with him , when he isn’t exhausted and your not tired after a long day . This could
Go one of two ways , he accepts it and you both move forward or he willnot have anything to do with the baby . After talking to him and if he continues to be resentful , I’d look for a part time job at least to be prepared for anything ! Good luck mama
2 Likes
He will come around. Give him time. In the meantime share your pregnancy joy with family & close friends who are happy & supportive. Don’t isolate yourself
3 Likes
I just went through a very similar situation with my bf and our second pregnancy. (he also has a son who lives with us, so this baby would make 3 total) Anyway, from the moment we found out up until I was about 3 months pregnant, he was completely uninterested and didn’t want to hear anything about it. He would just get mad anytime I brought it up. Eventually he got over it and now I’m 39w and he has been excited ever since. Our family had been going through something at the time when we found out, and he was just mad at the world for a little while. I was crushed and heartbroken with how he acted at first, but with time I understood and forgave him. I know it hurts, but maybe just give him a little more time? This might not even be about you or the baby at all🤷🏻♀️
4 Likes
He needs to take responsibility. Maybe he needs a fright
The number of children a family has should be a joint decision. Bottom line.
2 Likes
I dont blame him for how he feels! He told you he didnt want no more kids and yet here you are knocked up again. BIRTH CONTROL does work ya know. Maybe you should have kept your legs closed and your hubby wouldnt be so hateful towards you!!!
15 Likes
The fact that he’s ignoring you just makes my blood boil, likes you somehow magically conceived the baby by yourself? He is freaking child, I don’t care how stressed or worried he is, he can talk to you about it like an adult. I can’t imagine what it feels like to be blamed for something he took part in. He could have used protection. He could have gotten a vasectomy. You aren’t the one that didn’t want to have another baby, so he should have taken those steps. However, it’s already happened and he should realize that one day he may love this child as much as his current kids, that one more isn’t going to break you both apart. His behavior, however, most certainly will.
11 Likes
It sound like he is not in this relationship for the long run.I would be making plans of your own, to get out of this relationship.Because he is not going to be there for you.He has made that very clear
6 Likes
Him naming the baby seems like a good start to me🤷♀️ if he’s already working 60+ week than he’s probably stressed about money. I think he’ll come around.
10 Likes
Sounds like he was plain he didn’t want another kid. He is resenting having what he didn’t want. He may or may not get over it. You think it is a miracle, he sees it as a inconvenience. You are not going to change his mind for him.
2 Likes
Well you are forcing him to have a child he doesn’t want… were you told you couldn’t have kids and then this happened? I mean if he is the one working to support the whole family I’m sure he is super stressed about adding another person to the mix… times are hard and another baby is very expensive…
11 Likes
That’s a big red flag. I suggest you speak with a hotline, they could help identifying red flags and prevent future psychological and physical abuse. Abusive partners tend to behave at their worst 1) When their partner is pregnant or 2) When they suspect their partner is leaving. Listen to your gut and ignore the he’ll come around, look for a therapist support. You don’t deserve this.
1 Like
Sounds like he needs to grow TF up. I would be LIVID. If he didn’t want more kids he should’ve gotten a vasectomy and had it properly checked. You didn’t make this baby alone. I would tell him that you’re his spouse, and if he wants to be the father of these children he needs an attitude adjustment or he can leave. I would not tolerate that attitude or disrespect at all. So he can go to Counselling and accept it, or you can go together, but I would not let that attitude remain. It’s here, it’s coming whether or not he wants, so he needs to suck it up or go (if he’s really that against it).
2 Likes
I’m really sorry that people are blaming you for getting pregnant. It takes two to tango. He knew the chances of getting pregnant were there when he decided to take part in sexual activity. This is in no way just on you. I’m sorry you’re going through this alone and I’m extremely sorry for the close minded people who blamed you for letting this happen. I would maybe go talk to a counselor to seek professional advice from someone who isn’t a keyboard warrior. 
8 Likes
I would try talking to him some more about it. If he isn’t happy about the baby cuz of the money mabye you could work part time to earn some money to help out. I have 3 kids and it is stressful at times especially when it comes to money. However, he really needs to man up. It took two to get pregnant and he knows in the end he is still gonna love this child just like the other two.
1 Like
I don’t know if he would be open to therapy but honestly therapy is for everyone and it can really help people figure out their emotions. I’m sure he is stressed about finances of having a third child. There are a lot of men who don’t feel the same bond we do until the child is in their arms. You guys just really need to communicate and maybe come up with a game plan so he knows you are trying to help reduce some of his stress about having another child.
1 Like
So, he has scheduled a vasectomy, right ?
6 Likes
If he’s not happy and you are that’s OK. Remember you’re still pregnant so everything you’re feeling the baby can feel too. Babies are Definitely a blessing. Just keep focusing on you’re self and you’re kiddos. I know it’s easier said then done. But if you crave something go buy it if you need a break from the negative energy go for a walk with you’re kids the fresh air and sunshine will do you wonders. My best advice is love you’re self. And pamper yourself. You deserve it. And most importantly love you’re baby. 
🧋
Oh and before I forget Congratulations on you’re special news 
That’s awful. If he is going to be the father of your children he better act like a damn father and show some love. And honestly you should try to talk to him and explain how shitty he’s making you feel, in the most honest and straight forward way that you can. If he can’t empathize with that and start acting different you shouldn’t even share your life with him, or let him be in this baby’s life because he just doesn’t deserve it. I’m serious. This is fucked up, and he should be able to care enough about you to change his attitude about this. You know what a real man, a real sacred masculine father figure does? He takes a shitty situation or those unexpected circumstances and he makes something wonderful out of it. Tell him to get with it and step the fuck up or he doesn’t deserve you or those babies.
I think I would leave. I dont want anyone around that has animosity/resentment towards my kid. He helped make that baby, he needs to suck it up and get over it.
Some of these women act like the man had nothing to do with the making of said baby. Y’all sicken me.
Mama if he continues to be a POS then leave him there like a POS.
5 Likes
If he was that adamant about not wanting any more children, he should have taken a visit to Dr snip snip. That was his responsibility to take care of in regard to that. However, he didn’t so now he’s dealing with being pissed at himself for not stepping up and also for the result. However, it’s early still in the pregnancy and as your belly grows and it gets closer to baby coming, he may have a total change in heart. For your family, I hope that is the case.
11 Likes
He will come around when the baby is here. Especially if its a boy
1 Like
I’m sorry that you’re dealing with this and feeling that way as any pregnant woman shouldn’t have to feel like that while going through a pregnancy. Pregnancy is hard enough on us. If it’s any consolation at all when I got pregnant with our third child last summer my husband was not excited either and he was very clear that he didn’t want any more kids and I wasn’t sure if I wanted more or not but I got pregnant unexpectedly (unplanned). And he wasn’t interested or even able to go to any appointments with me due to covid and most time I did feel alone and we fought a lot during my pregnancy but now that baby is here he has been completely on board and very helpful and we’re back to being a team. Some men do not bond with their children until after they are born it’s different for women because we carry them we feel them moving inside of us so we fall in love with them instantly but for men they don’t get to feel anything or see anything or experience anything with the baby till after baby is here so although you febel alone and you shouldn’t at least give him a chance to meet the baby and see if he changes his feelings towards the third child. I’m sure once he gets to meet the baby he will fall in love with it just like he loves his other two children
My mom had the same thing happen…I was the mistake baby. I always felt the resentment bc my mom didn’t have much to do with me either. My mom was going to get fixed but found out she was pregnant with me. My advice…dont resent the kid for your husband’s resentment. It may take some time after the baby is born to come around, but even if he doesn’t…be a good parent to the baby and don’t act like can’t stand to be around him or her and make sure dont show favouritism towards other kids either bc of it. Had it my whole life where my brothers got more attention and everything than me. It’s not fair. That kid didn’t ask to be born. Wish I’d been adopted out rather than go through what I went through bc my mom got to where genuinely hated me and became abusive shortly after I turned 10. State does nothing for abused kids. Tells them to suck it up and tough it out until can leave at 18 or go to juvie until 18. Only choices. Even if he doesn’t come around…definitely make sure that baby feels just as loved as your other kids. If can’t do that,then you and your husband need to talk about adoption so the kid doesn’t suffer. Also need to talk to ur hubby about him getting fixed. Can’t stand the thought of three kids,then needs to man up and make sure there isn’t a fourth
1 Like
Sounds like the wife planned this “miracle” baby so she could have her dream 3 child family. The husbands probably already stressed from having to support 4 people. Then add another mouth.
7 Likes
Give him time mama. He’ll come around. He’s not excited. Some men look forward to being with their wives. My husband was. Then my granddaughter came and we know my daughter was too young. So we have a new child. She’s 4 now. Just give home time. It’s not gonna be the same. Right now. He’s clearly told you that. Hang in there
Man. If roles were reversed and it was the woman who had adamantly stated she didnt want another baby and the man did everyone would be crying to a different tune.
10 Likes
I noticed my husband was always distant with both boys and all over me with the girl. The last one we didn’t find out until he came. And I knew it was a boy just by the my husband was acting. He never asked about doctor appointments or came to any with either boy. Now my girl he was at every ultrasound appointment. He was always rubbing my belly and talking to her. The boys he could careless. This is our fourth pregnancy and we are still team Green. Now I am heavier and he can’t feel the kicks or moves yet (21 wks) but he tries every night jiggles the fat and everything. He keeps saying “it could be a girl but I hope it’s a boy.” Than laughs. He might just be worried about money . For my husband it’s if he losses me. He has already expressed that. I would try and sit down and talk to him.
Not the child’s fault! It takes 2. But to be honest if you tried talking to him and he admittedly says those things…prepare for infidelity from him. Sadly.
My husband was only super excited and supportive during my first pregnancy, which was a complete surprise to us both. We planned for our second but he wasn’t interested in any of the pregnancy other than picking names and seeing the ultrasounds and our third was an honest to god mess of complications and we both were pretty sad the whole time. I wouldn’t think too much into this or the advice you’ve been getting. He will be a lot more interested in the child itself than the pregnancy, just wait it out and try not to let your hormones get the best of you.
Accept it or move on.
He won’t change.
1 Like
If show him what your wrote here and if he doesn’t have enough compassion and empathy to be sensitive to your feeling then I’d like tell him you’re like separated or something. He can be honest about having another kid but not make you feel like you’re all on your own. Like what the point of being in a marriage if he doesn’t care about how he’s making you feel? Ask yourself if you’d be happier with your babies without him. He layed down with you and created a baby with you he needs to get over it. And if he doesn’t just remember he doesn’t have to be your husband. You should matter your feelings and happiness should matter to him
2 Likes
That doesn’t sound right to me at all my boyfriend and I (20, and 21 years old) we both have jobs and we have a one year old (1yr 8m) and we recently found out I was pregnant with our second neither one of us were excited for it because it just wasn’t the right time for us but we are still doing a gender reveal (my boyfriends idea) he goes to every appointment with me and I even asked him if he was going to help me pick out names and he said “well yeah” even though neither of us are excited about it we are both making the best of it. I’m sorry hun but your situation with hubby just doesn’t sit right with me talk to him about it and see what he really wants to do in the longer run you do what is best for your kids and yourself.
1 Like
He’s probably just nervous. Once he sees that baby’s pretty little face hopefully he will change
Do the shit you want, WITHOUT him! Exclude him from it all and just have a good time. I know it sucks feeling alone during your pregnancy but positive vibes are so much better for you AND the baby
So don’t do a gender reveal party, not the end of the world. Just keep doing what you are doing for your family. Promote the “family “ theme
My boyfriend was the same way. I did a small gender reveal with our two kids and he just stood there all cranky with his arms crossed the whole time. Once the gender was revealed, he seemed less tense. And gradually, over time, he softened to the idea. He always has his hand on my belly now. He helped pick out a name. He always asks what the baby is doing and gives me back rubs when I tell him I’m hurting. Things didn’t start changing until I was about 20 weeks. I guess just don’t really try to push it on him. Let him come to you.
Maybe he should’ve gotten a vasectomy or y’all should’ve been on birth control. Maybe he’ll warm up. Good luck
He told you did not want another baby BEFORE you got pregnant, did you think he was kidding? You wanted 3 kids, he didn’t. He was honest with you about that, but apparently you didn’t believe him. He is like a lot of men, he’s looking forward to the day when it’s just you and him again, but you want to keep having babies. This can be resolved in one of two ways, he will either come around, or he will leave.