My husband didn't even acknowledge our anniversary: Thoughts?

He isnt a special occassion person im not either exception being birthdays,easter and christmas. Each day can be a special day, life gets in thw way i know its disappointing for you but just react the same to him dont do anything special he is providing for the family i understand at 6 days a week of hard work days off are a godsend a time to relax. Use that time to send the kids off somewhere and make it special in the home less expense less energy of having to get ready and totally relaxed. He is with you everyday make those days count praise how wonderful and lucky that you can both provide for the family, any small effort go out of your way to thank him. He will get the gist eventually. Its not what you dont have that matters its what you do have.

You need to talk to him about it. Or your could write it in a letter as it may be easier to get more of your thoughts out that way. Whatever you do. Don’t be silent about it. See what’s going on inside of his head.

Some if not most of y’all need to give your head a shake.

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HE IS TIRED …
Working 6/7 Days a week… Think about it…

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No matter how different y’all are, that’s still a line you don’t cross. That’s not right at all and I would be demanding and explanation!

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I’m in the same situation girl. It hurts. :disappointed:

Some men were not taught when they were young to show appreciation. They grow up to be thoughtless pigs. All it takes is a hug, a kiss, and happy anniversary. Everyone has their work and stressors these days, that’s why it is so important not to let special times pass by. I hope if you have son’s you teach them better.

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I feel you! Been together 6 years not married though. He called the wedding off deciding he doesnt want to get married again. Doesnt even remember our anniversary. Nothing for any special occasions yet I try to go above and beyond because I love him and feel like he should get to feel appreciated and loved just as I want to be but i fee it’s a one way relationship at this point…

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Don’t yell at him, but do talk to him calmly about your feelings. Otherwise, they will fester & really frustrate you! Good luck.

You need to find away and time to talk to him you are hurting and he’s unaware of your feelings maybe. At least if you talk about it you will know he knows and see what happens from there.

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Oh man. Ok so I wouldn’t yell or fuss, that’ll only make him resentful and probably not even care… tomorrow I would say “Our anniversary was yesterday, I guess you forgot, happy anniversary”. And leave it at that. Don’t say anything else about it and MAYBE he will feel some guilt and apologize and try to make it up.

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Your man is the one person in the world to promise to always make you feel special…wanted and appreciated…loved and happy. It doesn’t take much effort at all to do that.

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A calm rational discussion is my suggestion. Sometimes that has to include an outside party like a couples counselor.

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I’m with you girl. You want acknowledgement. It doesn’t have to be much. He could have got your favorite drink or treat. Do a chore with you. Said happy anniversary and watched a movie with you. I get he works alot. But that’s a BS excuse.

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He’s trash. Leave him.

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Sit down and have a long talk with him and if he doesn’t want to talk I would be suspicious I would stop buying him gifts and for those holidays I would buy myself something nice if he ask why you didn’t get him anything tell him we’ll all those different holidays I waited for you to get me something and you didn’t so now it’s my turn I’m making up for all those years you forgot about me

Has he always been like this? Did he change? If his behaviour changed then this is a serious issue

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I’m in the same boat, it really hurts.

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You’re feelings should be hurt. He could have at least acknowledge it was your anniversary and said “babe, I love you but I’m so tired. Can we celebrate this weekend?” At the very least.

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Leave. It’s that simple.

Sounds like you have different priorities and expectations. Sit with him and do this. Then you both need to make a conscious effort for the other’s language.
My husband’s is quality time and mine is physical touch. He was used to living as a single man and had different priorities round the house - I like a clean house, like I said he was used to living as a single man! We both had to alter different things to meet each others needs.

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Did he just not remember it was your anniversary? Also did he not know it was Mother’s Day?

Well I say… On his Birthdays, Father’s Day, Anniversaries, Christmas. Go buy something for you & the kids and dont buy him anything & We’ll see if he notices then. :joy::joy:

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Aww mama, I’m with you. But I would definitely set time aside to sit down & express how you feel. Communication is key!

I mean I kinda sounds depressed tbh maybe speak to him n try find out what the issue is ect

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Talk to him. He had to remember these special dates. I would be so hurt but i would have to say something. Get to the bottom of his forgetfulness. Somethings not quite right. Better to do it now then later. Will get worse over time.

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I would have a sit down with him, explain he really hurt you, an anniversary is a treasured mark of the commitment and love you guys have for eachother…

If he past out that fast he was clearly tired. He probably forgot it was your anniversary and probably had more important things to deal with in his mind. Obviously, it’s a big deal to us women but men typically don’t really care about the giving and more about receiving. With my husband I pick the gifts I want and he can choose from my list or get me something better. Sometimes he surprises me with something way better than what I put on my list, like he got me 2 puppies and a rabbit as suprising gifts not on my list. You can also put an alarm on his phone to remind him of an upcoming event or name the alarm “buy wife v-day gift” etc.

I would have went out without him

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Wow what a condescending pig is this what you want for the rest of your marriage if not do something about it …

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My husband and I have been together 13 years. It just became another day to us…Gifts and being remembered are nice but he works 16hr days and he is beyond tired most nights so honestly I buy myself something to celebrate if I need to and let it go. It is not that big of a deal and we have 3 kids ages. 12, 8 and 2 and we never have a moment alone…it is life. :heart:

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Mine doesn’t till he see the cards

If youv got freinds start going out with them once in a while it might make him sit up and think . If you get dressed up to go out it will show him what he is missing out on .

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If he passed out he was probably exhausted. I’ve been married for 29 years to a non gift giver who is a great man, great provider & great husband. His love language is time. Get the book about love languages. Most men’s are sex and supper :wink:

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Communication is key, love. Don’t hold back your feelings.

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I’m so sorry. My husband was very unemotional. His parents never celebrated birthdays, most holidays, anniversaries etc.
In the 39 years together I received 1 Birthday gift.
These days to celebrate meant nothing to him.
I did fuss at him because of it. It did no good.
Fast forwarding to present day. June 19th my husband passed away after a lengthy illness.
During the months of watching his health decline, we both discovered what was important and things not important, the not important things were things we mostly fought about.
He and I had serious discussions and we worked out a lot of issues . And for the last few months together we realized we really did love one another and I can truly say we were in love with one another again.
I realized that stuff is stuff.
I miss him but through his illness and death I learned what was really the most important.

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Unfortunately it is how he saw his parents. My husband was never brought up to think of those things… it hurt but I got why he wasn’t thoughtful about it… get him a calender and mark special days for him. That might help a bit. Hopefully it’s not deeper than that…

He needs a break! Maybe tell him you have plans for a special retreat. Tell him he HAS TO Relax and you tell him whatever weekend soon he can take off. Do not take no!

Sounds like you both have different love languages.

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Sounds like he’s depressed…

Honey remember you teach people how to treat you!

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I have no advice. I just wanna give you a warm hug and say happy anniversary. You’re beautiful, intelligent, and wonderful. I hope tomorrow is a better day and if he doesn’t step up you need to find someone that appreciates the queen you are :heart::kissing_heart: much love fellow lady/momma

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First off happy anniversary & have a convo about your feelings we all get busy & exhausted which tends to lead to us losing touch sometimes but if you bring it to his attention how it upsets you and even suggest a compromise as a backup plan if he doesn’t hear you all the way out my hubby has never forgotten he is a true romantic he still celebrates our first date anniversary and we have been married for 7years and I have learned the best policy is having a conversation 1st

I would talk to him first about your feelings. I was bad at that in my marriage and balled it all up then it all came out as “diarrhea” mouth. Huge fights=no good. I did notice as things started “changing” in our marriage the gifts stopped. I just stopped expecting anything from him and that way I was never Disappointed when I didn’t get anything. Needless to say we haven’t been together for 3 years now and we were together for 10 years.

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Today is my 14 year wedding anniversary. But we never do anything. Tonight’s dinner was Wendy’s. That was my anniversary dinner we grabbed it to go and ate at a park. He didn’t hardly talk to me . He said it’s just a peace of paper to him. He rather celebrate the 19 years we been together in november and every year nothing . I asked him one time if he thinks he made a mistake and he said no. But sometimes actions speak louder than words. I never get jewelry, he never gets me anything for christmas, I have to pick my own valentine out and as for mothers day I never really get anything

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Our 20th anniversary was 4 days ago, and l was the one who forgot until hubby called me at work :frowning: This pandemic has taken a toll on us all. We are all mentally exhausted.

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My partner is the same way. I’ve learned to let things go. Appreciate the things he does do and pick my battles. He does work hard. He wasn’t raised the way I was with special occasions and holidays always being celebrated. But when it is really bothering me the way it sounds like it is you I will just take charge and plan something for us and give him the details lol. I mean yes it would be cool if he took charge but it is what it is. Sorry your bummed though. I’ve been there before myself and no doubt will be again.

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I’ve been married for 15 yrs. I promise you he is truly tired specially now with this pandemic. He is probably emotional drained,and he doesn’t want to worry you. Talk to him and find out what’s going on with him. Deep conversations with my husband are way better than material things.

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Welcome to my world ive been dealing with it for 8 yrs and at this point idk why i even expect it. Im honestly the easiest person to make happy. This year hurt the most though idk why. Ive always tried to do something even if it was small. I didnt do anything for fathers day for him and i felt guilty why i have no clue. No matter what i say to tell him hes clueless or from what i see dont care. I wish i had some kind of words i could tell you to help out. Some men just are this way i guess.

Some men are just indifferent to holidays, birthdays and anniversary’s. If he was like this before, I don’t understand why it’s an issue now. My ex wasn’t big on none of that and I didn’t make a big deal, bc neither was I. We were together for 3 years and I think we only celebrated our first year anniversary. I didn’t see a big deal about it doing anything special, bc we were always doing things. We usually did things “just because” so when special occasions came…there was really nothing to do for it.

My husband and I started traveling more and buying each other things less. Nothing is better that the time we now have together!! I book a trip to celebrate our birthdays and one right after Christmas!! Then neither of us have to worry about it, and we can just enjoy each other

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Maybe ask him if he’s doing okay mentally.
Sometimes it’s not him just not caring about you but him not caring about himself.
Just because you go all out doesn’t mean he should be mentally healthy- so check in on him.

“Hey babe I’ve noticed things seem a bit off… are you doing okay mentally? Are you struggling with anything? We got this together” is all it takes.

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Happy Anniversary…
Really, I understand that you are hurt. I get it. I can’t believe how some are saying you should leave. Is this what marriage has come to? No wonder there are so many divorces.
Why can’t people be thankful for what they do have?

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Some folks aren’t into celebrating anniversaries, mother’s day etc. Be glad they come home to you and forget the material things…one day they won’t be there…my husband passed away and I would give anything to have him walk in the door.

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You should have a heart to heart with him and tell him these things instead of social media. Maybe there’s something that’s been stressing him out that he’s not talking about or maybe there’s a communication breakdown somewhere. If he’s working long hours and you’re not working you have to let him rest if he’s tired and maybe set up a date when he hasn’t worked all day. You need to tell him what you’re feeling though because he’s not a mind reader.

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I would honestly stop getting him stuff for holidays, birthdays, ect. That’s just me though. If he can’t get you stuff in my eyes he doesn’t deserve anything either. Not trying to be mean or anything. I would maybe try talking to him first to see why he does that if he doesn’t change or doesn’t want to talk about it I would stop getting him stuff.

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My husband never gets me anything either for Xmas, Valentine’s Day, Our Anniversary or Birthday. Our anniversary and Valentine’s Day are one day apart. My birthday and Xmas are in the same month. He always says that he thinks I would rather spend the money on our kids for the holidays which I do but I also would like to get something once in a while. It doesn’t have to be every year but it would still be nice even if all we did was go out on our anniversary instead of staying home all the time. I love my husband so much but he doesn’t like to go out much. He prefers to stay home but I am home all the time with the kids and I get sick of being home all the time.

Sounds like he is pulling away. Confront him.

Happy anniversary. I’m sorry you’re going through this.

Some people like to make a big deal of all these things and my husband has never given me anything as way of a gift but we have been married for 60 years and there is nothing I have wanted for I used to make a big deal about these occasions but he finally said. Do we have to do this. But he is the best loveing careing man their is. He is there for me everyday and that is what counts

I have been married 38 years and my husband has never acknowledged our anniversary but he does show me love all year long and that is enough for me :heart:

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He sounds like maybe exhausted that anniversary night. We do out anniversary a week or 3 later or before just depending. Guys dont think like we do. Peoples love languages are often different qnd you hqbe to vocalize them to each other. Look them up…theres 5. After seberql uears guys dont buy every holiday. They dont mark it down on calander and count down the days like we do. We dont go gifts for MANY holidays. We do for our kids. And dogs. Maybe he is stressed at work or has something bothering him thays nothing to do with you. Maybe a let down or a little depression even over something. Getting older… Work rut… Tired of this pandemic… Stressed over wishing could do a vacation… Worried about money. Guys get funky too. TALK to him. Ask how his day is and whats on his mind… Let him vent. Communicate! Look up love languages… Everyone should

If this is something he always did from the get-go. It shouldn’t be a surprise to you. If it’s not, sorry he’s an ungrateful man. I don’t care how many days you work, if you can’t muster up a hug and a happy anniversary to the woman you love, you suck as a man. A grown ass man should know that a woman needs to be acknowledged and loved and nurtured, and yes, have a beautiful card for them on special occasions. Don’t sell yourself short giving him excuses. He has been around you long enough to know that you love to spoil him with gifts. Why can’t he just suck it up and do something special for you. Dude has all year to figure out something for your anniversary. Yet nothing…its lazy and selfish. Sounds like a teenage boys actions. Sorry, you deserve better. The sooner you let him know that, the better.

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Stop doing stuff for him if he cant even acknowledge your Anniversary. You have to give a little to get a little.

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We wifes and ladies who live with men are for the most part unappreciated. And taken for granted . We give and give so you go buy yourself something. nice with HIS MONEY DONE DEAL

i feel this deeply :pensive: my husband has forgotten our anniversary before and i never get anything from him for holidays, i usually get him something from the kids but unless my oldest has her grandparents buy me something i don’t receive stuff and yes i don’t care about the gifts but sometimes just a little acknowledgment is nice… Valentines :joy: that’s a joke i sent myself flowers this year :woman_shrugging:

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I think people put too much importance into anniversaries. My boyfriend and I joke about how neither one knows our anniversary but it’s some point between July and mid September lol we dont need fancy dates or gift exchanges to confirm our love and appreciation of each other. If hes still with you and shows love other ways then dont worry about it. Unless gifts are absolutely your love language than bring it up with him and if he respects you he’ll honor your love language, which sometimes varies alot between couples.

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What a prick. Disgust your feelings try to work it out before making any decisions.If thing don’t work out say bye bye

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Everyone forgets sometimes…but to know and still not care …id find me a lawyer :speaking_head:

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men like that are extremely selfish, look up narcassist see if it sounds like him if so it will never get any better,i know

Get rid of him if he makes you feel that bad. What other things does he do or not do?

Have u asked him about these issues? See what he has to say

Call him out on it. If he loves you, he needs to respect how you should be treated

Girl it happen a lot most men fill you would like you can buy

Sounds like you two need to have a heart to heart NOW

Treat yourself to a Spa Day hun

He sounds depressed.

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Honestly ignore these people telling you to leave that’s why so many marriages fail one things goes wrong and people dip :woman_facepalming:t3: just y’all to him about it like a lot of other comments I read it really sounds like he was just tired or maybe next year tell him happy anniversary early in the morning and I’m sure he’ll remember that’s what I just did to my bf for our first anniversary I’m sure he would’ve remembered either way though idk lol

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Well I would have the discussion. I would not be angry and explain you are not angry just hurt and you want to understand and for him to understand each other’s expectations so y’all are on same page. Damage done at this point. I would be more upset that he didn’t let children get you at least card on Mother’s Day or if too young even sign one from them. Bc they are learning by his direction. Maybe he just doesn’t gift and it isn’t big deal to him and you know the difference. Was he always this way or is this new. That would be next concern. I would address and make him aware of how I feel. Then the rest is on him. If he doesn’t attempt to do better and at least be thoughtful than shows his lack of concern and then you have an issue.

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If it bothers you, you shouldn’t just put it aside. you need to address it and you both need to come to an understanding and come up with a solution. If he continues to treat you in a way that you aren’t happy or comfortable with you’ll need to decide your best course of action…

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i just want everyone to know; if someone is making you feel bad about yourself, YOU DO NOT NEED THEM. no matter how many good times you’ve had together, no matter if they once made you happy; people who want to be a positive impact in your life, will treat you that way. never ever get to the point in your life that you feel as if you need someone to be happy. be happy for YOURSELF. life is too short to dwell on somebody who doesn’t treat you right. know your worth. you do not deserve to get beat down by someone who claims that they “love you.” i cannot stress the fact that if someone wants to make you happy, they will. if someone wants to be yours, they will make an effort. and if they tell you that they’re irreplaceable, they’re wrong. there are 7 billion people in the world. you will get through whatever is hurting you. one day it will hit you all at once that you are worth more than you think !! NEVER SETTLE FOR LESS ! :sparkling_heart:

Did anyone read the part that he runs his own business and works a lot? Not an excuse but men have feelings too. Maybe he is stressed, exhausted, mentally unavailable. :woman_shrugging: We all get tired, especially with everything going on. My husband and I stopped getting each other “things” years ago and even less now that we have a baby. '“Things” aren’t important. We usually do a special dinner/ bottle of wine/ liquor to celebrate milestones. For our 5th wedding anniversary, my daughter and I both battled hand foot and mouth disease while my mom took care of us and my husband worked. When he got home, he went to the bar to decompress after work. No sense in being couped up at home with sickos. If gifts are important to you, maybe you need someone more thoughtful. Talk to your husband. Communicate your issues and concerns. Express your needs. Sounds like your husband has a lot on his plate and maybe just can’t mentally process anymore than he is.

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STOP doing so much! No longer go above and beyond!

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I would have had this conversation with him , instead of asking women on Facebook . I get that it may be a big deal for you , and that sucks . But you said he works a lot , maybe he’s just drained or depressed . Maybe he’s dealing with some other stuff , or stressed out to the point he’s just not into doing anything ? I’d have had this conversation with him , instead of here because now he just seems like a dick and that you do everything “special” .

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Sounds like he works hard to provide for you and his family. And there is nothing in writing that says you can’t wait until he has a day off to celebrate. That’s what we did.

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My husband bought US a set of Ping golf clubs and next anniversary I bought him a Kitchen Aid mixer. He never cooked. We did get a laugh out of it and never forgot our Anniversary again.

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Girl leave the house, go to the spa, and spoil yourself! Fuck him!

You need to tell him how you feel.

Maybe you married the wrong guy

Hug him when hes tired !! Hes tired. He needs support. Dont yell. Dont nag. Support him. Help him. Ask him what you could do to make it easier.

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My husband is kinda like that sometimes because he owns his own business and works so much. I usually just let it go but one day I really talked with him about how it makes me feel and he was surprised.

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Thats normal as long as u know he loves that’s all that matters

This is 100% a moment you should get mad. Communicate. Don’t let him gaslight you. It’s understandable if he’s depressed, but your feelings matter as much as his.

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I’d just not buy him anything anymore. No birthday no Christmas nothing and let him cop on. Instead buy yourself something nice :wink:

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Paybacks are a b**** do the same to him he’ll get the message sooner or later give him nothing in return stop giving

Next birthday make arragements with a friend to go for lunch ignor hihes busy olny needs a few times

Try telling him your thankful for the gifts he gives you everyday by working so hard for your family. Be grateful for the little things that are big to him that he puts a lot of time and effort into. It’s kinda like a reverse psychology thing he will see that your grateful for him and what he does and start doing more. Hard working men sometimes feel like they cant do enough.

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If you’ve had the conversation many times make his next gift the book on love language. My husband hasn’t ever been much for big gestures or gift giving and overtime it has mattered less to me. It’s everything else he does that makes up for the areas he lacks. You have to decide if this is worth a battle or if you will accept this is the way he is. You should try explaining it to him that you’d like to feel appreciated a bit more on special days.

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Eh me and my husband both forgot our fifth anniversary this year oh well 🤷

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I am not a gift person so i feel him. I personally just wouldnt get him anything else :woman_shrugging: if we do gifts we always buy or pick out our own. I would, however, express your feelings about him not acknowledging the anniversary. Always be honest about your feelings without yelling. Some people just dont do holidays well.

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Okay so you and I both ditch our husbands, we raise our kids together, i have 2 as well and we just take care of each other cus i do the same thing.

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