My husband and I didn’t have sex on our wedding night and it’s been driving me crazy! I am my husband second wife he and his firsAs did we…I wore a brilliant wedding dress and we flew to a glacier by helicopter just us to get married.My husband wore a pair of slacks and a hoodieIt was a little embarrassing I asked him if he wanted to go shopping for something else months prior and he said no he would wear his dress blues(his army) but the day of the ceremony he tired them on for first time in 3 years and it didn’t fit him so he had two hours before we leftSo he wore A hoodie and pants. Then comes the huge romantic affair it was amazing and exciting and he seems to enjoy the whole day no rushing no guest to entertain just us. How it should be Fast forward to getting to our hotel room and me starting to untie my dress with the best lingerie I could find underneath Instead he puts on zombieland 2 and proceeded to watch movies for 4 hours before going to bed I was so embarrassed and felt so rejected. His family made jokes on how his ex and he didn’t come out of the hotel room for 2 days and it was loud the people in the next room were complainingI don’t know how to feel other then embarrassed this was my first wedding my first marriage and I paid for everything to be special and make the days ours and I feel so rejected just thinking about it makes me cryAs did we…I wore a brilliant wedding dress and we flew to a glacier by helicopter just us to get married.My husband wore a pair of slacks and a hoodieIt was a little embarrassing I asked him if he wanted to go shopping for something else months prior and he said no he would wear his dress blues(his army) but the day of the ceremony he tired them on for first time in 3 years and it didn’t fit him so he had two hours before we leftSo he wore A hoodie and pants. Then comes the huge romantic affair it was amazing and exciting and he seems to enjoy the whole day no rushing no guest to entertain just us. How it should be Fast forward to getting to our hotel room and me starting to untie my dress with the best lingerie I could find underneath Instead he puts on zombieland 2 and proceeded to watch movies for 4 hours before going to bed I was so embarrassed and felt so rejected. His family made jokes on how his ex and he didn’t come out of the hotel room for 2 days and it was loud the people in the next room were complainingI don’t know how to feel other then embarrassed this was my first wedding my first marriage and I paid for everything to be special and make the days ours and I feel so rejected just thinking about it makes me cry
You’ve seen these signs before you married him a hoodie you should’ve stopped everything right then when he didn’t even care that you were standing there dressed beautifully in a grown and he shows up in a hoodie and you had to pay for everything girl you need to end this before it starts because you’re walking into nothing but years of heartache he had no thoughts or feelings about making you happy that day
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My husband didn't want to be intimate on our wedding night: Advice?
Ouch. Somethings not right with that. I would feel the same way. Also, why did he wait until the day of the ceremony to try them on? Red flag. It doesn’t sound like he put much effort into anything. I’m sorry 
You need to have a frank conversation with him.
How long did you stay together before you got married?
Might want to re think the whole situation and take a step back and look. Does he not work that you paid for everything? Definitely agree with Tiffany not a whole lot of thought on his part
In marriage u have to have uncomfortable conversations sit him down and talk to him
Dip dip dip there’s a party on the hill.
I would be divorcing him the next day lmfao
So many questions.
This seems unreal.
I’d flat out ask him why he didn’t want to have sex on your marriage night? Hell I would have turned the TV off that night and asked him:sweat_smile:
Maybe he’s just not feeling it after you made him spend a fortune on a wedding, and hes probably resentful now and didn’t have the balls to say he didn’t want to get married. Now he’s stuck despising you
Last option he likes men now
Tbh it sounds like he doesn’t give a f***. I mean, who waits the day of to try on a suit?
Does he have male problems sometimes???
This surely can’t be real. Why on earth would an adult woman put up with this…and what kind of background does he come from that his family joke about sex with his ex!!!
Your first wedding and he took that experience from you, I’m so sorry 
I would be getting that marriage annulled.
Sounds like u wasted ur money girl… sorry to hear that
Prepare yourself. As this will be what the rest of your marriage will be like. I’d get an annulment. Sexless, passionless marriages never work. I’ve never had a man straight up just rather watch TV over having sex. There’s something definitely wrong here.
I think most people don’t have sex on their wedding night unless it’s the first time.
How has the sEx life been since that day? I feel for you, that would legit hurt my feelings so bad.
Did you talk to him about any of this? I am so sorry.
You might want to think about enullment before it’s too late. Why did YOU pay for EVERYTHING?
Really sorry to hear that … even reading it make me cry ! How insensitive…. Please sort this out or this will carry on with other things in the future ….
Leave him asap before you get more into the martiage
We had our baby in our room on our wedding night HAHAHA
Run girl and get a annulment
Annulment would be my choice. That’s really unfortunate that he ruined that experience for you. I wouldn’t be able to forgive that.
Are you his sugar mama? I wouldn’t be silent on the outfit choice nor sexy time.
Sounds like a deep conversation is needed and how that goes. I would probably file a marriage annulment 
People show you who they really are.
That’s awful. I feel sorry for you. Sex is important to me anyways; even after 8 1/2 years together.I’d be my fiancés third marriage, him being my first (22 year age gap 
) we have actually been together longer than both of his marriages.
Anyways, how long have you been together? Why didn’t he help pay for it? Why did he wait until last minute to try on his army uniform? Why did people feel the need to tell you that him and his ex were in the room for two days? So many questions! Lots of red flags here. You deserve better. If he doesn’t want to talk about this or apologize and try to make up for it, leave!
That’s the first mistake… You paid for everything YOURSELF! 
The major red flags that I noticed, “I paid for everything” the second one is he did not bother to get a decent wedding suit, the 3rd is a red sheet , not a flag, no sex on the wedding night??? I would have annuled the wedding right away, since it was not consumated.
My husband stayed with his friends right through our wedding left me to do all the meeting and greeting etc then on the wedding night he was in bed asleep by the time I’d gotten out of my dress! Safe to say the marriage lasted 4 weeks. I’d definitely be kicking him to the curb and finding someone who truly wants that experience with you xx
I hate this for you… but honey get out go find that man that doesn’t want to leave the room with you he’s not it… so sorry but you deserve better … so much better
Gotta be straight forward speak what’s on your mind and ask him why not.
Go get an annulment. He doesn’t really want to be married
What did he say when you talked to him about it
Get an annulment, like now. Imagine how the rest of your life will be with an ass as a husband and his family sounds not the best either. The whole situation sounds bad. Why do you even know what he and his ex did on their wedding night? I’d run from that mess.
You wasted your time
So he waited until the day of to try on what he wanted to wear and then was okay with looking like a hobo and didn’t want to consummate the marriage and you paid for EVERYTHING??? Oh yeah there’s absolutely nothing wrong with this picture 
He obviously isn’t that interested
I’m sorry but if that was me as soon as he walked in with a hoodie and slacks on I would’ve left him at the alter. He obvs has no respect for you and the work and money you put into that day.
Is he on any medication? Maybe he has problems down there.
Red flags all over. Reread what you posted.
How has it been after the wedding night? I think that will speak volumes.
Huge red flag just with the hoodie and you paying for everything.You can get an annulment at this stage,don’t wait until you have to divorce him.Best of luck 
Just cheat on him I would
Sounds Like you set yourself up to be a dejected spouse.
get an annulment. He was showing signs he didn’t care before you tied the knot. i’m sorry.
Get that wedding annulled reason, no s€x.
Why did you guys even get married, like why did he even propose to you?
I’d annull that mess so fast.
It’s me looking to see pics of you in the dress to see what he’s missed out on! Move on beautiful 
My husband and I didn’t either. Granted, we had been together for 8 years. Had 2 kids already and one on the way 
but seriously. I’d be upset but… all the people saying get an annulment right after you said your vows
The whole time I was reading… I was shaking my head and by the end of it, I was asking myself “why is she even with him” 
Annulment RUN it won’t get better
I never go straight to annulment but you need to get one!! Granted, you can be tired on your wedding day but it sounds like he has no passion for you.
We weren’t intimate on our honeymoon until the day we left lol.
First bad sign was you planning and paying for everything. Second he is showing no interest. Annulment
Sounds like he wasn’t interested in the marriage at all. He has just let you run with it. Yes he may enjoyed it but not even trying in his blues or buying a suit is so disrespectful plus watching zombie land and not putting any effort into you is bad and sad. He hasn’t considered your feeling at all and if he isn’t now he’s not going too xx
red flag… return to sender
This sounds like he’s a narcissist that is using you and he basically gaslighted you.
Annulment…what an ass
Get an annulment asap. Chalk up the cost to an experience. Idk but sounds like he nor his family really accepted you or the relationship. Maybe he did it to get military benefits? I have no idea, but he’s set the precedence of what is to come. You allowed him to get married in a hoodie (as weird as that sounds), not pay for anything…. What you allow will continue. He’s not going to like having to put effort in. Go where you are celebrated, not tolerated
The fact that his family is speaking of his ex and them together on their first night as a married couple is disgusting to me. I would be PISSED AF!
You cant base your relationship on his prior commitments. Clearly, they aren’t together anymore. I think the whole sex on your wedding night is outdated. It happens when youre comfortable and ready. Every time. Have you tried talking to him? Let him know your feelings and validate your worth? Everything is a red flag to everyone. There was one night where my husband and I finally got a night away from the kid. I had planned so much stuff. Had lingerie and all. And he was just happy to relax, just us. It really is cut and dry sometimes. I honestly dont think we had sex on our wedding night. Our marriage is great. Try talking to him. Get answers from him. We cant tell you what was or is going through his head, we can only offer advice and Id say the best thing to do is ask and tell him your feelings. Nothing good comes from bottling stuff up.
I know your feelings are hurt but that sounds like a blessing in disguise that you didn’t consummate the marriage.
How can his family make “jokes” about him and his ex’s sex life in front of you? That’s just gross.
I am sorry to say this but your husband is a looser.
Maybe communicating with him how you feel and then planning a getaway to make up for it where you get to live out that dream? Communication is a must! Don’t listen to these dramatic ass women saying to get an Annulment lol you always start with communication… and if that doesn’t work, well you know the rest I’m sure. Good luck honey!
If you were intimate before the wedding night, he didn’t see it as anything special on your actual wedding night 
I’m not going to lie at first I was going to eyeroll and keep scrolling. There are numerous red flags. Have you talked to him?
Would you be okay if this was YOUR friend, sister, niece, daughter, mother, aunt or cousin? Even a stranger? This isn’t okay. Id ask him genuinely to explain and if he can’t. Bye Bye Birdie
Omg… NOT A GOOD START to a Happy Marriage… He is VERY self centered… RUN !!!
GET AN ANOLLMENT ASAP !
You see his true colors !
So… I would have to agree with them…. Annulment…. My husband and I wasn’t either… and now years later it’s like 4 to 6 months in between and it sucks!!!
Maybe that’s to be expected if the “goods” have already been tried on and are same-old as the days, months, or years leading up the the wedding? 
Why are they even bringing up situations about his ex and him around Ur wedding and what they done ? Sorry but that’s so disrespectful
I would be getting an annulment quicker than I got married 
WOW…I feel so sad for you, I’m not sure what to tell you to do, but if this happened on your wedding night, try and imagine your future with him. Because this behavior Will Not Change. He’ll just start getting defensive and telling you things like “Get over over it”! So You have an important choice to make about your future with this clown. Be Wise
Did you propose too…
you paid for everything…ARE YOU CRAZY!!! Obviously you were just desperate to get married and you don’t turn him on…you probably ignored red flags before you got married…you got what you wanted…A “husband”… he’s probably doing his ex…
Yep - annulment- get out now
Also first mistake … Army. Get you a Marine who can’t wait to put on his Blues to marry you
Lol well at least you qualify for an annulment
Just know the best is at the beginning.
He’s thoughtless and a poor excuse for a husband just my opinion
His family telling you details like that about his ex is so disrespectful to you.
Annulment…No consumation are grounds.
Well, it sounds like because he’s already been married before that that type of stuff doesn’t excite him.
 The honeymoon phase he’s already experienced
Honestly, at the end of the day on my own wedding night my husband and I barely had energy to move. The last thing either of us really wanted to do was have sex 
It has not hindered our relationship in the slightest though.
The real question is, how has he been since then? Is he still neglecting your needs or rejecting you? If not, I’d say he was just exhausted from the day.
I have never understood why everyone puts so much into the wedding, but then fail to put the same effort into the actual marriage. That is what matters, not the wedding, not what anyone wore, but the relationship. I don’t know maybe I’m biased because my husband and I decided at midnight we’d get married that day. So we planned and pulled off a wedding in a matter of hours. The only thing I cared about was being his wife so I can’t really help there.
I just think you should look at how he treats you every other day, if this isn’t the norm then let it go. If it is, then move on.
If it were me I’d be asking myself has it always been this way or has he recently seemed disinterested? Was he just tired from travel or is it a recurring thing? If it’s nothing new, I’d leave. If it’s new behavior, I would address it head-on and start working on it if he wants to. If he doesn’t wanna work on it, RUN
Annulment asap run that’s how your whole marriage will be begging for sex
You made a big mistake Sis. Cut your losses now…you will only incur more loss
Ummm the family even talking about that s*** is a hell no. Why would they even joke about that omg. I would have gone off at that point lol.
Well it sounds like you had very different expectations of what the day was supposed to mean. He wasn’t concerned about the clothes and that stuff and you were and he knows that sex is one part of the marriage. Lots of people do not end up having sex on their wedding day/nights for all sorts of reasons and it doesn’t mean anything. So stop feeling rejected and get ready for the new adventure as a married person in a marriage. It’s not about dress up or sex or lingerie. Good luck!!
Maybe the noise from his first marriage was them watching a movie marathon .
Not quite sure what the point was of his family sharing with you the details of his first honeymoon and their sex life was! I would be more concerned with their motives and less of what he wore to the wedding!
That’s awful and time for annulment
I’d be fuming and I’d be running , pack his bags and get out now.
You’ve seen these signs before you married him a hoodie you should’ve stopped everything right then when he didn’t even care that you were standing there dressed beautifully in a grown and he shows up in a hoodie and you had to pay for everything girl you need to end this before it starts because you’re walking into nothing but years of heartache he had no thoughts or feelings about making you happy that day
You need to talk to him about this now. How does he not even try the stuff on to make sure it fits before the day of?!?! Then he wears a hoodie?!? No way.
How rude and disrespectful. Run as fast as you can prayers for your heart