My husband didn't want to be intimate on our wedding night: Advice?

I’m sorry this is your story… Sounds like you need to announce that it’s time for him to pay for something

Omg thats heart breaking id leave that for sure

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Unless his dick is inverted, there is no excuse. Time for an annulment and a refund.

I am sorry you had a unfavorable experience. Keep that communication open. I hope things work out for you If that is what you both want

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Get out…NOW!! It’s not gonna get any better. Should’ve done it when you realized you were paying for it all!

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Annulment. Don’t settle for such a d bag.

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If I were you I’d get the hell out of that wedding, and you got to be dumb and shit if you paid for everything for the wedding!! Everything is supposed to be 50/50 and if it’s not then get the hell out, that’s not the way to start a wedding off. And instead of complaining about everything just get out ASAP, jmo!

yikes on several fucking bikes

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For as disappointing as your day was. You need to stop comparing YOUR marriage to him with what he had with his ex. If you live in the past your marriage will fail like his did with her.

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You said you paid for everything? Could he be using you for money? If so :running_woman:t3:

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I’m so sorry this is what you’re going through, maybe sit down and have a conversation with him and explain how you feel. Hopefully things get better. :crossed_fingers::heartpulse:

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Is it too late to get an annulment? Since you don’t consummate the marriage :woman_shrugging:t3:

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Maybe u should invest in a pig farm. I’ve heard some pretty cool stuff about pigs. :eyes::face_with_hand_over_mouth::rofl:

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Spell check…maybe part of the issue

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Wow… I swear the energy women put into men is not worth it… Especially if it’s not reciprocated…

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Big red flag is you had to pay.

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My husband and I didn’t have sex on our wedding night… Partly cuz we stayed up all night with his best friend and his wife drinking and playing board games. :rofl: It was just us and a handful of guests. He did wear his blues. Cuz he knew it was the one thing I asked for.
We also haven’t had a honeymoon. So we are doing a big trip on our 10yr anniversary (this Jan will be 8yrs). Life happens sometimes, but you either need to speak up or move on.
I would NEVER have let him get married in a hoodie. Maybe slacks or even jeans, but he best be in a nice shirt. I did pay for most of our wedding cost, but I had the money set aside an figured honeymoon would have been more split.
It’s all our money as a married couple anyway.

So… You either need to sit him down and tell him you are unhappy, why you are, and how going forward y’all need to fix it and work together.
Or … End it now and move on.

This is the beginning of the end. Talk to him and see what was going on. If he doesn’t get better as a husband you may have just wasted time and money. Hugs

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Get out while you can

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first off, the first red flag was his family feeling the need to inform you how the sex was between him and his ex. second, just leave before its final. don’t send the paper paper in. it’s only gonna get worse

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Sounds like you just married someone with a personality disorder and a toxic family. They’ve already started in on you and it’s completely deliberate. I’m sorry but this is probably just the tip, of the iceberg :ice_cube:. That was also completely deliberate :grimacing:

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Get an annulment and run as fast as you can from him. Red flags everywhere!!!

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Wow ! That’s not in any way ok , and I would have honestly let him know right then and there!!!
Like wtf :face_with_symbols_over_mouth:

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Get out now. This is the best he will ever be. More pain ahead. His family is disrespectful because he allows it. He’s a child and didn’t learn from his mistakes in his first marriage. Divorce, annul, whatever, and don’t look back. Also you shouldn’t have financed everything…that’s insane. He did you a great favor by showing you he is so soon, please believe him.

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Tag his name in this

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You should not have put out a cent. He sounds like a narcissist and now that he has you he doesn’t have to put any work in. Withholding sex is also an abuse of power and a punishment.

Sounds like he was forced to marry u and he didn’t want to

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One word - Annulment!!

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Hope your not still married

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Annulment ASAP get away from this selfish narcissistic toxic male & his family. RUN girl RUN. Hugs sorry you’ve experienced this. Things will only get WORSE. His actions show you he doesn’t make you a priority

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Typical loser soldier. You deserve better. Leave that loser.

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Leave him now. Not even worth your time.

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Damn thats crazy at first I was thinking he must’ve been tired from the wedding day cause thats what happen with my first marriage. But then you said he stayed up and watched movies for 4 hours that was not cool. Sounds like you’re going to have a lifetime full of disappointment.

Maybe have a conversation with him and ask him why? Maybe there is a reason he didn’t want to. Communication is key.

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Your first marriage?? And he ruined that for you?? Absolutely not girl!! I would be getting my ass down to get an annulment!!! I wouldn’t stand for it… and I bet you looked like a million dollars and he had no care in the damn world!! I’m so sorry girl!! You need to get out and find yourself a man that will appreciate you and cry when he sees you in that wedding dress!! And for his family to bring up the ex that’s just wrong and sounds very toxic, I wouldn’t wanna be in a relationship with a toxic family! I’m so sorry hun. :disappointed:

I feel like crying for you. Thats not right. If he saw nothing wrong with this that’s a huge problem.

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No need to talk to him, he doesn’t care his behaviors were intentional and him refusing you on your wedding night is a plot to break you bruise your self esteem he’s an abuser and narcissist. GET OUT NOW. Don’t fall for any lies or excuses or love bombing.

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I’m afraid I have to agree with everyone else here, he bait and switched you and ruined your wedding night (for a mediocre movie), put his ass right back in the helicopter and go dump him out on the glacier

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You paid for everything? That was your huge red flag. Seems like he didn’t wanna marry you in the first place.

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This is so sad. I’m so sorry .

No answesnuntil you have it out in conversation. Step 2 is leave or stay ??

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That should be an immediate comversation and if he cant make it right and give an explaination get an annulment.

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Leave!! He doesn’t care at all!!

Get out while you can. My first husband basically told me that he didn’t feel any different. Like getting married to me felt the same as dating me on our wedding night. We didn’t have sex either.
I divorced him because he never changed. My whole wedding was awful. He wouldn’t shave his beard for me even though it was way too long and bushy. Wasn’t clean cut for a wedding. Then the next day shaved it. He was always like that for the rest of our marriage. Acted like he didn’t care or made me feel like I wasn’t good enough and I was asking for too much. I’m here to tell you your not asking for too much. Don’t even accept the bare minimum. Put your standards higher. Cause you deserve someone who would dress up for your wedding and want to treat you like his wife on your wedding night. Someone that cant get enough of you.

You should talk to him about it.

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Sorry to say this but he’s not going to be a team player. He may love you but she may have ruined him for good. Prayers for a better life for you sweetie

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I mean my husband and I didn’t do anything on our wedding night either, he undid my dress zip, I draped it over the arm of the couch and went to bed, I came back down in the morning to find him asleep on the couch and our dog asleep on my dress :smiling_face_with_tear: we were both exhausted tho and I hate the idea of forced intimacy! But your situation is totally different, you know already what you need to do my love x

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Okay so wait he wore a sweater and pants to the wedding and the. Proceeded to watch zombie movie on the wedding night /honeymoon … Yaaaa u picked a real winner … I’d be crying too I’m sorry but I agree with everyone else here he doesn’t obviously give a shit and you should just get a divorce now

This is so fake because no one says slacks anymore! Lol And flys to a glacier? :ok_hand:

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Goooo away fasttttt
Hope the ink ant dry on the marriage lisons

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Why are you comparing yourself to his ex? Who cares what they did or didn’t do on their wedding night. That’s his ex, they are the past and should stay in the past.

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All I can say is that I’m so sorry. This is wrong on so many levels, and I can’t even begin to imagine how you feel.

He didn’t want to marry u

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That’s awful on my wedding day I started my period. That didn’t stop my husband. I think I would definitely have a deal breaker talk with him.

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Run literally run!! This is how your marriage will be and it won’t change. Please get out while you can

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I feel like he was trying his best to not to get matried with you and he didn’t know how to tell you. I think he was signaling you. You should have let him pay for the wedding so he could get his moneys worth if thats the case as well!

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Forget about the 1st wife and what they did and focus on you and he… Have y’all ever had sex???did he want to get married???I have a lot of questions??? Communication is key…

Listening to it, you did it all, not him. You paid for it, you dressed up…He sounds like he really didn’t want to marry you. I would march down and get an annulment and find who you’re REALLY supposed to be with because it sounds like he isn’t going to put in any work.

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The thing is you continue to compare yourself to his ex… you gotta stop that because that was a completely different experience for him.

Talk to him and try to figure out what’s wrong. Maybe he is going thru stuff too. Idk

Good luck

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I’m so sorry.
To me it sounds like you’re well off financially. Is he usually distant? Do you provide the majority of financial support? Does he reject you in bed regularly? Does he know what his family said to you? Was he okay with it?
If the answers to these questions are yes then he may be using you for your money. I would talk to him and see what he says, but don’t ask “are you using me for my money”. Tell him how much it hurt you and ask him why he didn’t want to make love. If he doesn’t know what his family said then tell him and see if he defends you or tells his family that was unacceptable. If he doesn’t try harder to be more attentive then I would suggest marriage counseling and if he won’t go for that then you should seek a divorce. His family sounds toxic. You deserve to be loved and you deserve to feel sexy and wanted.

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Did he tell you he didn’t want to get married again and you bugged him until he proposed? Because that’s what this sounds like. The paying for everything yourself should have been a huge red flag that he wasn’t interested.

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Slacks are women’s trousers here :joy:. Sounds like he was totally knackered. And a lot older. I’ve started buying nice underwear with two pairs of Knicks because sometimes you are just too tired. If he’s still watching movies for hours every night after a week or so, then you need to have a serious chat.

What happened the next night? If you were having sex before it’s really not huge.

I’m so sorry but all of that should send up red flags. It’s not to late to get an annulment. I should have done that at my 2nd marriage, but I kept thinking it would get better. It didn’t and it isn’t going to get better. So please look out for yourself.

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I’d be getting divorced as quickly as I said I do. He didn’t want to marry you. Im so sorry this happened.

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I’m sorry I really hope it gets better

Well my husband wore his work boots and it’s actually my favourite photo our feet :rofl: mine in diamond heels and his steel toes.

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Did you try to initiate sex? Because it shouldn’t have to be up to him.

Sounds like he may have not even wanted to get married in the first place. If that’s the case he should have communicated that to her

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We didn’t either. We were worn out and it wasn’t our first time having sex so we just went to bed after a snack lol.  all of this was red flags that he did not want to get married I’m starting to wonder

This is waaaayy too similar to another anonymous post in another group I’m in.

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RUN as fast as you can !

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Me and my husband didn’t have sex on our wedding night and was married 38 yr before he passed .I’m sure y’all had it sense then .

He was probably tired. Lol

Yikes sounds like u entered s really shitty marriage and there’s gonna be way more let downs than there Is good times. What a waste of a marriage. Get a divorce he clearly didn’t wanna get married and sadly sounds like he actually loved his first wife mire

Honestly all you can do is talk to him about and see where his head is because this would kill me internally.

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That sounds really screwed up and the fact that his family is bringing up the ex-wife is even more screwed up. Clearly he doesn’t respect you or this relationship. Get the hell out while you can. Because clearly his family doesn’t respect you either

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Did you go in the room with your lingerie on or did you just go to bed and have a pity party.

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Hmmmm. What do you think you should do. Your ‘honeymoon’ memory will never change. Is this how you want to live. With the feeling of rejections? He doesn’t sound like he is putting any effort into this wedding. Your life your choice.

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He is not invested in this marriage or you. Run while you can.

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Take it from me divorce it’s not worth staying when there are so many red flags already

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First of all, why is his family joking about his wedding night with his ex? That’s tasteless and rude!!

Annul that, sister!

This is NOT okay. As a military wife myself, I can tell you that this is NOT normal!

You deserve better. :clap:t2:

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Maybe the guy was embarrassed about the talk about his ex and their wedding night and didn’t want the two nights compared. It may have bothered him enough to not want to at all that night. Give him a chance.

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There are red flags but no sex on the wedding night isn’t one. We didn’t either. We were too exhausted. We got to our room, ate a caramel apple (they were my table favors) and went to sleep :rofl::rofl::rofl:

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his family is DISRESPECTING you already and so is your husband. Get an annulment or divorce. Not the way to start a MARRIAGE

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It might not be too late to get in anuled. You deserve so much better.

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that entire scenario is just plain sad… doesn’t sound like hes happy in the relationship.

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ALL of this sounds like he’s not into this marriage already. I vote and annulment.

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This is sad. So sorry. No advice. Best wishes.

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For a start his family telling you ,even jokingly,about him and his first wife’s sex life was inappropriate. Secondly why were you paying for everything? I get both partners financial status isn’t always the same but he could have contributed surely. Then there’s his outfit for the wedding. He surely had a sneaky feeling they weren’t going to fit and leaving it till the day of the ceremony to try on shows lack of excited planning for the big day. I mean a hoodie and trousers! So there’s a lot of things before you even get to the sex part. And I don’t know that many men who aren’t into sex on their wedding night especially if the new wife has made the effort with new lingerie. I know some couples who have had too much to drink or were exhausted after a big wedding day and left the sex both happy with that decision. But to choose to watch zombie movies instead of enjoying his wedding night with you - whether you be playing scrabble or acting out the Kama sutra is just weird and hurtful. It’s the fact he only thought of himself and not you that gets me. I’d have a long hard think about whether this is the right man for you. I hope things improve but I’m not optimistic. :two_hearts:

So… you married a selfish jerk. Did you NOT know this before?? You can either get the marriage annulled… or go to counseling.

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So not on 1st night but now how much time has passed n r u satisfied in bedroom but only 1st night rejection is bothering u
Or I understood wrong

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Annul … save yourself years of heartache.

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Are you sure he wanted to marry
They fact you paid for everything, he didn’t even try his clothes on and then did all that is huge red flag he didn’t want this

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It’s not weird to not have sex on your wedding night. The pressure can be a turn off, everyone is tired, maybe someone ate too much or drank too much. I’m pretty sure my husband and I didn’t have sex on our wedding night.

But everything else here is red flags for days.

The fact you paid for everything, got all gorgeous, and he couldn’t even get an outfit suitable? Sounds like he doesn’t care at all to me.

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Was there ANY COMMUNICATION. People don’t read minds. All of this probably shouldve been discussed long before. But it does seem like he’s a douche. But you married him.

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I can’t believe he wore a hoodie. Wow. So sorry!

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How you feel now is how you’re gonna feel your whole marriage. Rejected & ignored. There’s :triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post: all thru this story.

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