Damn this is a very sad story big red flags here too why no sex you got a talk to him ask him
You’re married so the first step is communication. But if he can’t give you that and isn’t willing to hear how you feel there’s enough red flags here to consider an annulment. You deserve much better regardless of how his first wedding went.
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Once he put in the hoodie I would have called it off!
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I am so sorry this happen to you and i would get out of this marriage because it sounds like he is just wanting your money . i wish you the best .
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Get the marriage annuled, and THEN if you and he still want to work on the relationship, find a therapist.
But why did you pay for and plan everything?
Was he involved at all? Did he want to get married, or was it really only your idea and dream?
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I take it u ignored some red flags prior to marriage didn’t u?
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Im guessing you’ve got Money, like MONEY MONEY
Annul straight away, he doesn’t respect you and nor do his family or they wouldn’t say that in front of you
What does he say to his family when they say these things?
Much love
Xxxx
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Did he want to marry you.sounds one sided to me . rejection can and will,end your marriage.sorry:triangular_flag_on_post:
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End it now before you really get hurt.
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Confront him first off. Explain your feelings. If he doesn’t seem to even care run you deserve better
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Talk to him! Tell him everything you have just posted and have a serious heart to heart about your feelings. You won’t feel better about any of this until you know how he’s feeling. Strangers telling you to leave your marriage is all your going to get here🤷♀️ an I don’t believe that’s what you want or want to hear since you have married this man. If you can’t talk to him outright and honestly then no you probably shouldn’t be married. Forget everyone else and talk to him. You and your husband are the only ones who matter here…good luck
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Time to file for annulment. I’m sorry he has made you feel this way. I would file an annulment and run as fast as possible away from him
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Have you discussed this with him? Have you let him know how you feel? Communication is key.
Did you live together prior to getting married? Maybe he did not think about it being a special night.
Did he understand how important this day was to you? It sounds like you made lots of effort to make it special but he did not. You need to talk it out
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Time to tell him or pack your bags and run he is using u for !!!everything!!!u say u pay for it all…run run run
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That day sounds exhausting! He could’ve just been tired? I don’t get the pressure around having sex the night of the wedding y’all gonna be Married forever right? Way more nights to get it in 
also stop comparing yourself to his first wife cause she ain’t you. Now the hoodie was just lazy on his part I prolly would’ve made him buy/rent a suit or try on his uniform before the day. But you gotta talk to him about how you feel. This is your marriage and if it’s important to you then he needs to know and understand how you feel!
First thing’s first, talk to him. Communication is key. Guys can be totally oblivious to shit like this, especially if they’ve done it before.
If he doesn’t seem to care how it’s effected you, then you have a problem and I would leave.
I was so tired from everything on my wedding day that I passed out and had a 3 hour long afternoon nap, and then got up and had supper, then went back to bed with a migraine.
Maybe he’s embarrassed he couldn’t fit in his old uniform and doesn’t know how to deal with that.
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We didn’t on our wedding night. 
We were too tired. That was 14yrs ago.
Everybody has expectations but if you don’t voice them, nobody knows.
Have you talked to him about this?
I will say, rarely do ASU’s fit 3 years after ETS. He should’ve known better.
Personally, if it bothers you this much, don’t stay married. Things happen & it’s not always about you so if you can’t talk to him & move passed this; save both of you & walk away.
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Lol this is ridiculous. Have you tried COMMUNICATING with him? Or are you just jumping straight to everything negative? My husband and I got married when we were 22 and we were so tired after the wedding we passed out in our wedding clothes until the next day lol I swear yall wanna make everything into a competition with the “first wife” that you can’t just enjoy your day because it wasn’t “better” than what she got.
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Maybe he was after the same thing would happen. Didn’t you two talk about marriage before you got married
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Doesn’t sound like he respects you. If he was really tired, he should have said something. Him not even having a backup outfit was disrespectful. And his family should have been stopped BY HIM for making jokes about his first wife and his sex life.
And you paid for it all! If men have nothing else, they always have the audacity
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Is he from another country?
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Ask about his health how old is he? Does he have prostrate issues?.
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Red flags begin way before u got married … u walking blind folded. See this guy for what he is , get a divorce .
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he doesn’t respond to you how you want him to respond and all these comment tell you to leave. that’s selfish af, so he didn’t fuck u, but yet you didn’t communicate what your expectation was so instead now ur all in ur feels and people say throw the marriage away. let me tell you, if you think do you want to throw your marriage away because he didn’t fuck you on your wedding night, maybe you shouldn’t be married. Because in order to stay together you’re going to go through a lot worse things and if you don’t know how to talk about it you don’t need to be married
My husband and I didn’t on our wedding night either. Everything else was more important. I asked for quickies, for him to pull over on the way home… I tried EVERYTHING. But our wedding was made to be about everyone else.
I laid on my stomach on our bed for an hour waiting for him to come and atleast help me get out of my dress, his sister wound up doing it.
It leaves deep wounds. You need to address it and share your feelings with him.
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It doesn’t sound like he wanted to get married to begin with 
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I would have probably been pretty mad about the hoodie and slacks on the wedding day too. And also about his family making jokes about him and his ex. Sheesh! Talk about wrong place wrong time! 
But as far as the sex, How long have you guys been together? How sexually active are you normally? Did you pursue him or just walk around in your lingerie? If there is something we want, sometimes we have to go get it and talk to our partner and not assume our partner knows what we are thinking. I suggest talking to him about it and how it made you feel. Maybe he was thinking you didn’t want to and he didn’t want to.
Did you say anything then ? Sounds like this marriage may have been forced or you wanted it more than him. You shouldn’t be the only one paying for a joined matrimonial partnership. He showed his interest before the wedding and you decided it was ok . This probably isn’t the only thing he’s done you just overlooked the red flags . Idc if this is his 5th wedding he should still be excited and happy
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Totally didn’t want any of it… Couldn’t you pick that up from his behavior?
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I’m sorry this happened to you. Bc I can relate to a point and it does hurt. But from here on out you really can’t expect anything more then what he’s shown already. I wouldn’t be ok with it bc there is no joy. This will be hard to get over and live happily. I would have done cried and ask him wtf and found some answers to why he knew what to do but didn’t.
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I just wanna know how so many of you know so much about your husband’s past intimate moments with their exes! And the family talking about his wedding night with the ex 
what kinda families are yall marrying into? Sheesh
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Did you pressure him to get married? Way to many red flags that you should’ve seen before the wedding like not paying for it!! Sounds like he’s pissed at you for something or just didn’t want to marry you.
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My husband and I didn’t on our wedding night either…we were both exhausted by the time we got home! Why is it that s3x is expected after a long, stressful day of making sure everything is perfect? Have you tried talking to your husband about how it made you feel tho?
This is crazy, girl this vent is not a vent it’s a huge huge I made a mistake story, please pull yourself together n leave that CHILD!
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I mean personally Zombieland would be the bees knees to me and I would’ve joined the movie watching with some fun sex during 
but yeah as above, communicate and talk to him…
It’s sounds like your special day was a priority to him. No new outfit, no sex and you fronted the bill on all of it. You need to get divorced immediately
I can honestly sag it’s not going to get better as time goes on. I’d get out before it’s too late if this behavior is going to bother you.
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“Sugar mama,” you don’t sleep with the mama. I’m more wondering about you. I know men in wheelchairs. That still have there wife’s smiling the morning. Why are you even asking? Thing about how low is your self value is?
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And you still married him? He is a literal walking red flag. Get it annulled asap.
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Wow!!! There were so many problems with everything I just read. Run girl and don’t look back. This guy didn’t even care enough to dress up for his own wedding and then he doesn’t even want to be intimate with u?! U paid for everything and this guy made an appearance dressed like he was hanging out with friends. I’m sorry ur first wedding wasn’t everything u were hoping it wld be. I wish u much luck going forward.
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You can get annulled a lot easier if the wedding wasn’t consummated. Just sayin.
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i mean my husband was to drunk to do anything our wedding night. lol but it sounds like he didn want nothing to do qith getting married. i would have been pissed n called it off after him not having anything to wear. mine doesn dress up n even he wore dress pants an a button up for ours.
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I’m so sorry… if my boyfriend tried wearing a hoodie and pants to our wedding I would reschedule it or asked if he truly wanted to be doing it… I hope you find your answers… I would communicate with him about how the whole situation made you feel and see what he says… communication is the best fix 
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Sounds like he didn’t want to get married and doesn’t care.
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Sorry to say but it sounds like he didn’t want to get married again. As for not having sex, my husband and k didn’t have sex on our wedding night either. We were both so exhausted that we came home and watched a movie until we fell asleep. However we did make up for it on our honeymooners the following week. I’d have a honest talk with him. A marriage doesn’t work without communication.
Not worth it. Find happiness somewhere else. I did after 20 years of my first marriage. Our time is so valuable. And u will realize that the older u
get. If u don’t feel a strong love pain in your heart, this relationship is not going to work. Look into getting the marriage anoled quick. Someone once told me before I got married "you already had your honeymoon. So leave and u will later find happiness. It’s not worth hanging around him and being depressed.
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Wow my heart is literally breaking for you. You have every right to feel like you do. These are big red flags keep your eyes open
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Hoodie and pants? Girl. And u still with him? And why did u pay for everything???
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Get it annulled and get somebody who actually appreciates you!!
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Sounds like PTSD. Might wanna get some counseling
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Sounds like a Narcassist
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He used you for your money girl get this marriage anulled asap
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I literally REQUIRE this to be satire
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Damn y’all are harsh and making a lot of assumptions here. 
Yikes. I have a feeling he didn’t actually want to get married. Someone who puts that little of thought into something as significant as this probably isn’t going to be the best husband. I would reconsider the whole marriage if I were you.
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Sounds like a one sided relationship. This is the kind of crap that you’re supposed to reevaluate your whole life over. “Undo it” comes to mind, you have the power to make better choices for yourself.
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I was wondering the whole time reading this I she paid for everything and then she said she did. Sounds like he’s just using you. What kind if man won’t have sex with his new wife
I would call for annulment! You deserve better! 
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Sounds like he didn’t Want to get married. .
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I can’t believe his family brought up his ex in that manner. Seems like they don’t respect much.
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You need an annulment, it sounds like he didn’t even want to get married. Did he propose or was it discussed at a minimum?
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Wow just wow I would get out . Get the annulment.
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Annulment as fast as you can. He sounds like he doesn’t want to be with you to me
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End it now, unless this is how you want to live your life! It won’t get any better!
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Get an annulment I was in a similar situation. Trust me when I say he isn’t in love.
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Wait a minute… YOU paid for everything?
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Similar situation with 1st husband. Not only was there no intimacy, he actually called a friend and invited him to where we were staying to hang out.
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I personally wouldn’t have married him if he had no ambition to make that day special and perfect for you then he has no chance…
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We didnt have sex on our wedding night either. We canceled our hotel room, went home and had frozen pizza, cake and champagne and went to bed.
Wow i never heard of not wanting on the wedding day…me and my husband come straight back and did it…
As soon as we got to the hotel we couldn’t keep our hands off eachother… deff a red flag
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Why the hell did you marry this dude…respectfully
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Red flags right there. My late husband and me didn’t do the deed the night we got married as he was too drunk so we did the day after and got our daughter as a wedding present
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/: Yeah you made a mistake
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Well. My husband and I shacked up for 10 yrs almost before we tied the knot at the AG office. We didn’t do anything outside of have a discussion on why I refused to have Obey in the vowels. But like damn. We still fucked like rabbits. Can’t say the next morning I would have stuck around had he treated me with such disregard. No sex…great. bye bitch annulment here we come!
We were not intimate on our wedding night either. We were to exhausted from the events of the day. Don’t make your marriage about sex. Make it about love and the fact that you found each other Ms are going to spen the rest of your life with him.
We just spent our 32 year anniversary 
again no sex in that day. Just love 
enjoying each other’s company and loving what we do - make new memories together
Sex is great, but it should not define your marriage!!!
Good luck
So many red flags. The family throwing the ex wife and their sexual relations in your face, you paying for it all, the hoodie oh my. I wouldn’t of made my vows if my hubby was wearing a damn hoodie. Its not like it was a huge stressful day with lots of guests and tons to do which may have led to being tired. Girl you have every right to feel the way you do. That is complete rejection which is said cause he just said i do
I would send in your marriage certificate…just be done with it already. You aren’t technically married until you send it in anyway. Pack your stuff right now and never talk to him again 
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I know lots out couples who didn’t have sex their wedding night… from pure exhaustion from the day/events. Most of then fell asleep in the suits and dresses. Everything else though… abandon ship man.
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Should’ve kept your money…sounds like there are red flags everywhere… RUN now!
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Run now, it is only going to get worse
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My biggest issue is that he didn’t care enough to try wedding outfit on before wedding. Not wanting to be intimate on the wedding day actually is ok. The day of is so busy and tiring and everybody expects you to be intimate. For me, that expectation kind of ruins things a little. But you need to talk to him.
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Don’t turn in the wedding certificate. Run while you can
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You don’t say how long ago this was. There were so many red flags. And why were they telling you about him and his ex’s wedding night. Sounds like they’re all nuts. And he should have paid for some of it. You better get out of this or you’ll be paying for the rest of your life
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Respectfully… it sounds like he’s just not that into you or didn’t really want to get married
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Red flags everywhere… I would not be married to someone who thought that little of me
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RUN. Why would you want to be with him. He sounds very selfish and horrible. Who does that to someone you love??? Noone. I honestly don’t think he wanted to get married. I see red flags all over the place. Why did he marry you? Is it a Financial thing? Did he feel like he had to because you’ve been together so long or did someone make him? I would not stay married, itd only going to get worse. If he treated you like this on your WEDDING DAY than he doesn’t deserve you. I’m so sorry your day, that sounded like you put your heart and soul in, was ruined by such a horrible selfish person. Hones you need to run. There are so much better people out there who would never think of treating you like that.
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You married a female if he made you pay for it all sorry to tell ya get a divorce then get you a real man
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So, did he know your expectations. Do you have an otherwise loving relationship? It sounds like you had expectations built up in your mind and feel disappointed. That may pass. I think historically a honeymoon was days long so that there was not so much immediate pressure.
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Got yourself a man lover. Hopefully there was a prenup
Too many red flags. Get out now!
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He’s not over his ex wife. Run 
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Nah…get it anulled so you don’t have to go thru a divorce
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We’re you living together before you got married? If so, sounds like it was just another night for him. If not, I agree that I wouldn’t even turn in the paperwork and say bye.
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It’s weird that his family made jokes about him and his first wife f’ing for two days straight to you. It sounds like him and them aren’t over her.
Hey, I mean a few thousand dollars and one night is all it took to see he’s not the right person for you.
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Can’t fix stupid run now before you get in way to deep. Same as above I had tears in my eyes reading this. I’m so sorry 
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How long were you together before getting married? 
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Wow. I’m not even concerned about the lack of sex on your wedding night, unless you had never been intimate together before. I’m more concerned about his lack of caring enough about presenting himself to you in his best fashion at the altar. This screams “I really could care a less. Let’s just get this over with.” I would definitely have been hesitant to proceed with the ceremony.