My husband passed 4 1/2 years ago. Before he passed there were issues with my family to where I only allowed my kids around the mostly only if we were there. I’ve been more lax since he’s passed bc I’m closer now and we all live closer spo if I need to be there it’s only 15 minutes apnd not 5 hours.
The problem is that they say things to my kids about me when I’m not proud. When I confront them itsp all me and my fault. Like tonight. I’ve been sick, but they invited us to this fun game place we went to for my daughter’s birthday. There’s an arcade, rope course, bowling, movies, and Lazer tag.
Just a little insight, my daughter has ap job. She’s been begging me for one and ended up getting in June. She asked off for Monday, Wednesday and Friday so that she capn take my son to boxing, and I pay her those days for helping me out. I do determine how she spends her money. 10% to God, 10% to savings (I should make her do more, but already does so it’s not a big deal), $25 each week to me which I put in an envelope apnd when she leaves for college I plan on giving it to her for rent, books, whatever she needs it for. The rest is hers to do whatever. Now, in times past pshe has gone to the store for me, but would always forget to give me back my card spo when I’m at the register itsp embarrassing. So I just have her pay alnd I put it back in her account and round up when I do.
Anyway, tonight I told her to just pay for it and I will pay her back. A few hours into them being gone I asked why they hadn’t done anything and she says bc aunt J is paying for it. I was like why alnd she whispered bc she doesn’t think you will pay me back. I asked did she say that to where everyone could hear? She said yes.
So I end up calling my daughter to ask if everyone heard her say that and she said yes. Well, while I was talking to her my sister took her phone out of her hand to hear what I was saying and told me not to be getting on to her. I told her I wasn’t getting on to her that I would be getting on to her when nobody was around. Bc you see, if I have a problem with someone I’m going to take it up with them not everybody else. She said I would not be getting on to her and has since proceeded with texting me things like she’s not my bank, my daughter’s not my bank, I expect everyone to pick up my tab. None of this is true. I pay my own way and do for my kids what needs to be done. There are times when one of us will pay for everything and then everybody pays them back, but I always pay them back, and do my best not to get in those situations unless I’m the one paying it all bc I know how they are and that they say these things.
It makes me not want to be around them, but this is the only family my kids have left bc 2 months after their daddy passed away their grandpa, the last on their dad’s side, passed away. What should I do?