Family ,when you get married
Once youâre married, and ESPECIALLY after you have children, they are your number one family. Your immediate family. If your mom doesnât like your wife/mother of your kids? Thatâs too fucking bad, because Iâve planned to spend the rest of my life with them- not with your parents. If you wanted that, then you should have stayed with mommy forever. This guy is a clown and the OP deserves someone 100 times better.
Immature Mommas boy who didnât age past 11. Sorry to say it, but thatâs what itâs looking like.
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Once married, all become family. As far as her butting in, ignore it. She wants to get a rise out of you, donât give her the ammo. Say thanks but you raised yours, Iâll raise mine. You might wanna have a deep, serious talk with hubby cuz he sounds like a prÂĄck.
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When united by marriage all sides become family but when it comes to pick and choose you should always have your husband or wifeâs back regardless who is going against the other be it mom or mil or that is how I was raised - I always went to my own mom for advice on matters but it was my choice on how I handled affairs at home but in your situation it sounds like your husband does everything his mom beckons him to do and sides with her regardless even over you which is completely wrong and threatening divorce over it I would honestly let him have one bc it doesnât respect you in any manner to even threaten you with one. Good luck in whatever choice you make but you deserve more than he is giving.
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Iâve learned that at the end of the day my mom will always be my mom⊠husband can be temporary.
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(Unpopular opinion)
I agree with him. Theyâre not biological family.
I love my in-laws. Iâll do whatever I can to help them out.
Theyâre not my biological family.
I have not called them mom, or dad, and I will not. Those are titles only reserved for my Parents. Just as I donât expect her (my wife) to call my parents mom and dad.
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I mean u guys are married so your all family now , I guess thatâs how a majority of people look at it.
Um⊠if you have children together, they carry 25% of their DNA, duh theyâre family. How is this even an argument? If sheâs not âfamily,â because sheâs not his blood, then turn it around and say heâs not yours because heâs not YOURS either. Like WTF. Just because you donât like what they do or how they act, doesnât mean theyâre not family. Cuz if werenât by that, then if we went with that line of thinkingâŠyour husband isnât your family either⊠
Good gravy. Sit him down and talk to him. This isnât normal to keep families separate and insist they arenât yours. I suspect this has more to do with conversations between him and his mom in confidence than it has to do with your mom. Sounds like sheâs jealous of your relationship with your mom and influencing her son with her negative comments. Your relationship with your mom is none of her business. The only relationships she should worry about are those that she has with you, her, son, and your children. Other than that, they can both go kick rocks. Husbands are supposed to be supportive and stand up for you. And THAT is a two way street. If heâs not doing that, a conversation has to be had on why, and see if you can get somewhere before putting divorce on the table.
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Yeah this wonât work king. He needs to jump on board with his WIFE.
If it were only about what you call each otherâs parents, talk it out like adults and make allowances. My husband will correct me if I call my in-laws âhis familyâ, theyâre our family and I married him so thatâs the way it is. He accepts my random collection of semi-relatives. But my husband chooses me first, even against his mom. Heâs on my side and Iâm on his. If any of the family canât take that, we will be fine together with the family we make. This guy sounds like he is too attached to mommy to have his priorities straight.
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See what he says when he figures out he wonât family when his kids get married.
When you marry, all in-laws become family, learn to be kind to all.
Man since the day before my husband and I got married my husbands mother has called me her âdaughter in loveâ. We respect each otherâs parents and different views but there is always love between us, even in a disagreement.
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So when yall got married IMO neither of your morhers are family anymore. Theyâre extended family.
You hubby and kids are family.
Everyone else is extended family.
On the other hand if heâs saying divorce if yall canât get along RED FLAG. Very selfish and self centered of him.
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Iâve always considered my in laws as family even though he and I are divorced. I divorced him not his family
In-laws are definitely family. I donât get why people think otherwise. Theyâre extended family, but still family.
I love my fiancĂ©âs mom. She set us up! He and my mom recently had a falling out but theyâre trying to make amends for the sake of the family unit as a whole.
We are a very small family my daughterâs partner hates me and her siblings thinks his family is better we donât get invited to gatherings it hurts i see my daughter when he isnt around
Get the divorce and let him have his mom since moms arenât family sounds like he is illiterate
Tell him to go live with his mama. He needs to grow up. You should decide how you want to live. Always come second?
I donât think he sees family as a fluid or evolving. Your view is whatâs mine is yours and whatâs yours is mine. His view sticks to actual legal family.
You are both right and both wrong.
If you divorce will you feel as if you have a duty, responsibility, obligation, or burning desires to care for his mother? Would you feel that the divorce relieved you of all duties except invites to occasions involving your child?
With you or without you that is his mother. With him or without him you have your mother. Only married are family relationshipâs shared.
You can have a working relationship with your family without him and he can have a working relationship with his without you. Only smiles and intermingled on holidays or important events.
All of the focus on in-laws is not really necessary. All the fights about in-laws are not necessary. If the focus remains on the in-laws then you may not have a lasting marriage. Without being married neither of you will have those in-laws.
Instead of venting and arguing with your husband about his mother, have tried to have an adult conversation with her about your feelings? Not screaming, shouting, blaming, or cursing.
âI feelâ, âIâm certain this wasnât your intent but this made me feel âŠâ, and
Give her the opportunity as well. If itâs approached âyou always say this, you always do that, or you always act this wayâ then donât bother because that is a recipe for war.
I view my childrenâs relationshipâs or marriage as theirs. If I donât like them then I only have to smile and see them on holidays or important events. If I do like them then I only have to smile and see them on holidays or important events. If my child is happy then Iâm happy, they love them then I love them, and I mind my business. I donât feel the need to be that intermingled.
Of course both motherâs are family!!!
You married the wrong guy, sorry sis
Heâs still attached to his mother via umbilical cord 
His mother gets no special exemptions over yours. Mothers are extended family regardless how he feels about it but F him for even suggesting divorce tho. Heâs gaslighting you and thatâs super unhealthy. Heâs basically inviting his mother to take a seat at the table of your marriage which includes parenting or ELSE⊠but not your mom 
itâs a table for two, nobody else. Boundaries! Advise, opinions and anything outside of that table is only something you can take in consideration⊠or not. Good luck, because unless he grows up some you will be in for a bumpy ride on the coattails of his mother.
You are not wrong your mom is family and to be honest heâs right maybe you should get divorced you would be better off
Sounds like heâs a spoiled mamas boy. Iâd grant him that divorce. I wonât be in a relationship with someone that wonât defend me.
Iâll make it simple. Your husband is an idiot. You need tell him to kick rocks.
heâs a douche⊠big red flags everywhere 
When your children grow up and get married does he want to be considered as part of their family? He will be a father in law someday.
Well He sounds very imature and needs to grow up your all family rather he like it or not but it really sounds like something bigger is the problem next time he doesnât have your back as his wife show him the door and tell him you get what you want You deserve better just know your worthâŠ
Difficult, sounds like heâs afraid of his mother and resents yours, tricky, does he like women in general?
He seems to be selfish your mother is part of family or he wouldnât have you so thatâs what you tell him and your children will learn from you not him
There is a difference between âMy Familyâ and âOur Familyâ (when talking about it), partners parents ect is apart of Our Family.
Sorry Reba But it should be a 50 50 Split He is one Sided Thats his problem
Any man that canât except your Mom as part of the family is no man at all just saying
Remember both set of parents are part of each of you, so learn to get along.
Wife first before any mother and yes she family
Bottom line- heâs an a. I dunno what else heâs like to put up w it?? You are right, btw. Heâs talking nonsense. What would happen if you call it bs?
Narcissism. They only see their bloodline as âfamilyâ
Once you get married you all become one family.
In laws 
, Mother -in-law, father-in-law, daughter-in-law, son-in-law ect ⊠clues in the titles Iâd say ⊠they are family in law weather he likes it or not. Iâd be inclined to do more with bothsides together rather than things with just his side or yours. I find everyone is on there best behaviour when I do this and no one can complain of favouritism. Hope you get it sorted without the divorce courts
Id be filing for divorce with the words âwell as they arenât my family as youâve made clear they can see the kids when you have themâ with a few 
thrown in. Thatâs ridiculous. Once your married I believe youâre now one big family sounds like he needs to put on some big boy pants and walk out of his mums vagina
Also as for him and his mother, he should tell her to mind her business. If a man takes his motherâs side against his wife, he doesnât have your back. You too should seek counseling
First I say get rid of him. You have to like his mother but he doesnât t have to lime yours. Sounds one-sided to me. Second the are family thru marriage.He s playing head games with you I believe because he wants out. You deserve better
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The question shouldnât be why your husband doesnât see it your way, it should be why does it matter so much to you? Let him have his opinions and you have yours. If you have the same goal, a life together, then let it go. It isnât important. I donât consider my mother in law family. She isnât, and if I werenât married to my husband Iâd never even speak to her. There is nothing wrong with that. What is wrong is someone forcing a relationship on someone for their own benefits.
Husband needs to deal with his mom correctly. You deal with your mom.and never ever bad mouth each otherâs momâs
Sweet heart sounds to me like he just wants to be free so give him his divorce to some point marriage is a package deal ur mom is his family if he likes it or not same as his find you some one that well take u and ur kids with ur family to be his there is a lot of good men out there that would do that in a minute
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Cling to your husband and let what God has brought together no one separate.
I wouldnât stay married to a man that doesnât respect my Mom.
They are family no matter if he likes your mom or not
I have a similar situation with my daughterâs husband and every day I PRAY sheâll get a DIVORCE !!!
Well heâs a real gem isnât he? What a keeper ! Why would you even stay with that POS?? !! I bet heâs verbally abusive to you as well⊠get rid of him .