SERIOUSLY?!?!
Send him back to his mama with divorce papers in hand.
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Divorce him. What a jackass.
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If his go to is âWe should get a divorceâ, you should get a divorce.
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His family is my family and my family is his family. I really put in an effort to make that very clear and to have our daughter have good relationships with everyone in her family. We also make parenting decisions together and we ask both of our moms for advice, but ultimately, we do it together. Therefore, if one mom has something to say, itâs about both of us rather than the other. I never want to make my SO choose but if he can seem to never stick up for me and his mom always seems to be picking at me, I donât know what Iâd do. But if he brought up divorce as the solution, then Iâd probably seriously consider it because clearly he isnât willing to put in the effort.
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In the past 3,000 years marriage involves the entire family. She might not be his mom but sheâs still part of his family. Not immediate family which I consider my parents and siblings. If I had a wife and kids then they would also be my immediate family. At some point my siblings would just be relatives but donât you both say hey weâre going by grandmaâs later? And if heâs such a mommaâs boy maybe you shouldnât be worrying so much about it. Plus thereâs people Iâve met throughout my life that have become family to me. I have friends Iâd kill for die for and live for. People say that but not when you genuinely believe theyâre part of your family. You donât have to like each otherâs parents most people donât but that doesnât mean theyâre not family. Marriage used to be a way to politically combine families. Even stuff like arranged marriages between little kids to connect families has been going on before the bible was written
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Im blunt.
Sounds like a fucking moron to me. Only a poor excuse for a man would say that to his wife.
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If he even mentions getting a divorce in a serious way, then yâall should probs get a divorce. He doesnât sound like he will ever still up for you and will always put his mother before you. Sorry, but you picked the wrong one. 
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Youâre correct, personally, I had, and,still maintain( post divorce) an excellent relationship with my mother in law. It really is about what youâre willing to put into the relationships. My ex husband was one of 8, I have good relationships with 3 of them, still.
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The fact that he puts his mother before his wife would be a game changer for me. She has to decide if she always willing to come in second the rest of her life.
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ths is totally written dwn by a typical lady who feels her mother nd her side of the family is important sweet human beings⌠nd her husbandâs side family are evil, issue creating nuisance etc. nothing new . this lady needs a reality check
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So⌠you are expected to get along with his Mother, but he doesnât have to get along with or like your Mother? YeahâŚno. He needs a reality check.
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You are together so your family is his and his family is yours. If he isnât sticking up for you or supporting thats something you will have to sit down and have a chat about. This isnât fair or right. You him and your kids are your own little family and yous should come first
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Sounds like thereâs a little bit more to the story then what is being displayed.
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Get a divorce, because he obviously doesnât look at your combined family as both sides important enough to cherish them all as family, and if hes thinks itâs not worth combining all family as one, and threatens divorce, then do it. He seems like an idiot to me
No offense but he sounds like a real d***. If you canât get along with her then divorce? Who even says that? Iâd be very angry.
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Anyone devaluing your family (unless they are toxic) and your parenting are usually not holding your best interest. Honestly sounds like he is trying to isolate you and it sounds like he learned it from his mommy.
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Family is whatever you want it to be-blood relations or not! Youâre husband needs an attitude adjustment, it doesnât seem like he values you, your opinions or that emotionally heâs hurting you.
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Once married their family biscyour family. âIn-lawsâ or not. A parent in-law will still be a grandparent to your child. A sibling in-law will still be an uncle or aunt to your child. Your childrenâs cousins will be your family regardless if from a in-law or not.
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Your husband is definitely in the wrong. Even if you guys donât personally get along (weâve been no contact with my husbandâs mother for a while) I still consider her part of my family. And if he constantly sticks up for his mother instead of his spouse, then I definitely think you two have some things that you need to talk about
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He should not be siding with his mother over you⌠The bible says a man shall leave his Mother and cleve unto his wife
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Once a person gets married, everyone one either side is family. I think his Mom has brainwashed him. She doesnât want anyone to come between them.
You should come first and your family is his, too.
I would not put up with that!!!
For us I have my family and he has his but his family are my in laws and my family are his so we go to both sides family functions and such
Find you a very vicious divorce lawyer, sounds like it is coming and you and the kids are gonna get the shaft in my opinion!
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Yes she is regardless of his feelings for her he married you their for she is now his family too. Just as same for you.
When pair of you get married you become part of the family so mil & mum are family like it or not. I think your husband should grow up heâs behaving like a controling child.!!
I would consider them both as a part of my family.
I was married to a bloke who used to say myself & his/our 2 daughters werenât his family but that his parents, brother & sister were his family. We were together 19 yrs. I divorced his arse. Arrested development right there!
Get a new husband, that one sounds like an idiot.
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Why are you still there?
Sounds like you need to get rid of him heâs a jerk
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NTA - the husband is mistaken. Full. Stop.
Tell him to knock off the BS and yes any in law is family.
You really have to consider this??? Common man!!!
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Sounds like he and you have a lot of talking to do
Iâve been with my significant other for 15 years, we are not married. However my parents are his âin-lawsâ & my daughter calls him dad. So yes, your mother is most definitely family!!
Sounds like a big jerk⌠Get a new husband lol
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Well for starters maybe stop telling your mom about your personal married life. Thatâs between you and your spouse so he may be feeling judged.
Furthermore, your IMMEDIATE Family is your husband and kidsâŚeveryone else comes after. You married him and he married you. Youâre a unit to build a life together. Not to have in laws involved.
You both need to sit down and talk about healthy boundaries and get your feelings out in the open and fix the issues.
For your mother in law, sheâs disrespectful and he needs to cut the umbilical cord and stop being a mamas boy. He has a family. You and his kids come first. In laws should not be involved in personal marriage issues.
If he said you should get a divorce if you and her donât get alongâŚthen make a wise choice. Itâs better to be single than in a disrespectful marriage.
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Your husband is defective. Return him.
My husbandâs mother is 100000000% part of my family. No question. Not even up for debate.
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Leave and cleave. Itâs you two, your kids and then BOTH sides are extended family. You should always put each other first- God, then spouses, then children, then all else.
I say this having learned my own, very difficult lesson. Good luck!
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He said you should get along with his mom or divorce? Lord women!!! He telling what he really wants, get rid of him!!!
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He is not treating you as his wife. When you marry you leave your parents. Wife is priority. Both sides are part of the family, but should not interfere by making anyone feel uncomfortable. And if your husband brought up the divorce word over his mother⌠THERE IS A PROBLEM !!! Never say that word especially when it comes to Mommies. Wow 
he needs to cut the apron stings and everyone needs to respect each other.
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Your families become one when you marry someone. I wouldnt have married someone whose mom I couldnât get along with, who didnât like my family or who didnât consider them family. He should choose your relationship over his relationship with his mom, he should be on the same page as you and telling his mom how it is though too.
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You are all family. It sounds like he is a mamaâs boy. His priority should be you, not her.
You and he are your own family first. If heâs putting his mom over you, then that means he places more emphasis on that as his family. You can both create your own boundaries but honor each other FIRST and foremost.
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I understand respecting his mother but come on he married you and if he said divorce over his mother then sister you need to divorce that mamas boy and find you a real man.One that puts his wife and children first
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Sounds like this guy cares more for his mother than his wife. If he truly loves his wife, he would try his best to get along with the MIL especially since he expects the wife to get along with his mother. Me personally, I would get out. He has already said that of you canât get along with his mother you should divorce. That does not sound like love to me!
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Honey I think you need to divorce that man let him go!!!
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He married you not his mom. He should be sticking up for you. His mom needs to let goâ¤ď¸
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Whoever says you marry the person and not the family is a liar. Once your married your families are joined like it or not.
Maybe he should marry his mother if he feels that way. Thatâs ridiculous. Try therapy first.
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That is his family. When you marry someone their family becomes your family. It sound like he cares more for his own mom than he does his spouse especially since he had thrown divorce out if you donât get along with his mother, but yet it is ok for him not to get along with yours. It is natural to feel more of a connection to your own parent over your in laws, but that doesnât make them less family. Honestly hun I would take him up on his offer for divorce.
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If heâs a grown man and doesnât understand that once youâre married youâre a combined family by now, he never will. Time to move up and move on. Never accept being anyoneâs second choice.
If a man canât treat you like his WIFE, get rid of him. Been here done this and I made it clear I wouldnât put up with nonsense. Any man or woman not willing to stick up for their spouse in reasonable situations doesnât deserve them. Period.
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This is what you have to fight about?? How pettyâŚare you about 16? Youâre both acting like children. Get over yourselves and on with the important things in your lifeâŚlike the happiness and well-being of the children you brought into this world.
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If a man chose his Mother over me, you bet your ass weâd be heading to court.
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Get divorced if he thinks that way. Should be considerate of your feelings first
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I agree get rid of that narcissistic man. He doesnât respect you or his children if he acts like that. Get a good lawyer and keep him paying until those kids are adults. Just because you divorce him doesnât mean he gets off scot free.
Your MIL probably sees her two cents as an opinion too, just for the hell of it, try calling and asking her, her opinion a couple times and see how that works out, if it doesnât, drop his and her a$$ like a hot potato.
Both mothers are family. You are his wife, you should come first before anyone (even the kids). If you have a happy marriage then your kids will be happy too.
If he canât accept your mother as family and canât put you before his mother⌠its time to move on. You deserve to be #1. Once you get married parents move to 3rd placeâŚ
- you/husband
- Kids
- Parents
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he is 100% wrong, sad his mother didnât teach him to respect family.
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Sounds like heâs a narcissist be careful its all about him and he will not stop. Had too many in my life who think onlu of themselves. You cannot fix them
Divorce it really serious!! You need counseling- both of you!!!
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Yall are family his mom n your momâŚbut if your his wife n his mother treats you some kinda way then he should defend you
I call my mother-in-law âmomâ and my husband does the same.
When you get married⌠you are marrying into the family on both sides.
What? Your Mom is the most important person to you and definitely family
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Danger: isolation from family and friends leads to control. Get out now.
I would not put up with his bull crap
U r enabling him to treat u like that
If u give up ur mom itâs ur fault not his u have a choice
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Whew! I misread this at 1st. Didnât think it sounded like Jay. I agree with you Lauri!
I would be filing for divorce because he is a freaking control freak and a narcissist
Honey get out while you can he doesnât love you
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Girl he already told you you donât matter as much as his mama. Get out now!
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In laws ARE family - all of them
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Sorry, but kick him to the curb! He needs to respect you and your mom. 
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Maybe counseling. There are children involved
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She who files first!!! Run run!!!
Get a lawyer and get out
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Family whether he likes it or not
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Family period. The more people who love you in your life the better for all.
Heâs not rightâŚmove on
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Quit calling your mom for advice all the timeâŚthink for yourself
WOW!! Just WOW!!! But to answer you - yes you are all family!!!
You are correct both are family
Sounds like she needs to get rid of the husband.
I am blessed, my daughter in law calls me her bonus mom!
He sounds like a Momas boy.
I donât believe your wrong. And he seems a bit childish. I personally couldnât get along with my MIL or FIL. they thought I got pregnant to trap my husband( I was 15 he was 25.). Weâve been married 28yrs now and when they disrespected me he cut them off. They chose to not be involved with us but his sister and brothers are wonderful. I hope he will chose you and take up for you.
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yours and mine are ours
How does he think you got here? The man is narcissistic.
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Your husband is an idiot, when you marry ,you marry the family. Why do you call them mother ,or father or sister and brother in law. Drop him like a hot potato. Sounds like he really dosnt love you if he cant accept your family. Sounds like he has issues
Your family is now an extended family of his, and his family is now an extended family of yours. More importantly you and your kids are his #1 family.
I will put this as nicely ass possible. Your husband is a jackass and you need a new one!!!
But you really shouldnât need us to tell you that!
What a jerk you are married to. If mom isnât family, see ya!!
No offense but he is an idiot
Yes, you are ALL family and your husband is a frigginâ idiot
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SHUT THE FUCK UP!!! Why do people make their family/personal problems the internet problems? If you take advice from the internet YOU ARE A FUCKING IDIOT!!!
Hes wrong your all family
He is an ass divorce him
Heâs an idiot! 
RUN
Keep ur business off Facebook 1st of all
Leave him love, he is not worthy.
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