If I were you I would open an account only in your name at a different bank, make sure he doesnt get passwords and do not put him on the accounts, to appease him give him a set amount of money, no more than a $100. if that in cash at least he wont be able to take money, also close the account you have with him otherwise he is apt to write checks and bounce them adding huge overdrawn fees, then try to get him to counsiling, if he refuses, Im afraid you may have to consider your options for your children and yoy sake.
So your question is? You’re raising another child, a son…Whom to me is not ready for marriage nor a family if he constantly on the computer and a game…then spending money for the household or family for games…Chile please …$300…that’s a bill and groceries…your choice, not ours…therapy, counseling, divorce, or live with it…u decide!!!
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IF this story is 100% accurate…please ignore the ‘immediately divorce his ass’ bs advice. Spoken by people with no clue. Look, you married him, you made a kid with him…so you’re on the hook sister. He’s stayin home then that’s a daycare savings, which can be a real sob and expensive. All that said, he’s a spoiled little shit and needs two opportunities before you throw him away. 1. Pull the console plug and talk…seriously talk to him. Speak to him as tho you are a married couple and the parents of a child. Communicate in a way he will understand your perceptions and frustration. Be very clear. Make him listen and understand and then listen to what he has to say…and understand him. Let him know that you cannot and will not continue this way, and then let him know exactly that to which you are referring. Spell it out and then ask him to join you on the team. You may need to repeat this discussion more than just once. If that is required then so be it.
- THEN…if he doesn’t give a damn or even try…THEN you cut his ass off. Make it YOUR account and YOUR money and his weekly allowance. If he wants to continue to be a fucking child then treat him as such. But if you go that route…make sure you explain to him why it is changing and what is going to be happening from now on. Then let him know that if he’s gona be a spoiled lazy little boy, then that’s how he’s gona be treated. Act like a responsible man…get treated as such. Period.
Now listen to me…NO YELLING! NO BULLSHIT. NO EMOTION. Just the facts and only the facts or he will just tune you out as he will be in battle mode.
Then…and only then…after giving these two opinions a SERIOUS trial and an opportunity to be repeated and reminders to work…THEN if those things don’t happen, you leave his lazy immature ass…and hopefully you will be wiser the wear.
Remember…you chose this guy and this life. No way he just suddenly started acting like this on Wednesday morning. You were either in ‘love’ and blind…in which case it’s on you to be heard and try to improve it. Or, you chose to ignore it cause you could ‘change him’…in which case it’s on you to be heard and try to improve it. Either way…
No one can ever change anyone. Period. That’s the secret to ALL relationships. BUT you can communicate, make him aware, and then allow him the opportunity to change.
Or follow the terrible advice on here and take the chicken shit easy way out cause it’s ‘too difficult’…it’s your show ma’am.
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The poster said one month he spent $300 on games. Not that he spends same amount monthly. It appears this is highest he has spent. Secondly, she said her husband said he spends most time on his computer not sure what her mood is. We are hearing only one side of the story. It sounds like they need marriage counseling. He probably has needs he wishes to communicate. She may be very moody, aggressive and mean towards him and he may not know how to respond. I have a feeling there is more to this story. How would her 2 year old survive or stay healthy if nobody changed him, fed him, gave him a drink all day? People are saying he is probably neglected, but the poster did not mention this. Also, if her husband is feeling humiliated or put down, he may “resist” her “nagging” or other attempts due to her approach. Men and women are different and a lot of issues stem from communication. People are giving examples of SAHM life and the shoe being on the other foot etc. Wouldn’t a wife always claim whatever money the husband makes is “their” money or he owes her alimony, even if she was a lousy wife who brought nothing but stress? He would even pay alimony. So, he should receive alimony if the poster chooses to suddenly leave, since she has been main breadwinner. However, this marriage is salvageable. There is more to marriage than just chores,and people shouldn’t be quick to leave over challenges. You must have seen signs of this at first or made more money than him from day 1. You should stand by your husband and help him. Use a loving approach to tell him how you feel. He may have internal hurts that makes him spend more time on games. You need to understand each other better. Make your husband feel that you value him for who he is, for being your husband and father of your child. Once the respect and love are at the forefront, he will respond. He will not “resist” doing chores in maybe a “passive aggressive” manner. Your marriage will blossom. It’s better to build your home than get your kid into the pattern of broken home because most new relationships, remarriages etc hardly work, and pose higher risks of abuse and instability, especially for a child from previous relationship. Too bad our society doesn’t get this, why so many things are messed up with people always quick to advise others to walk out of marriages.
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He sounds identicle to my teenage son 
, please dont be having sex with that useless pig… lots of beautiful helpful men that actually are good providers and act like grown ups, please go find one so he can be a great example to your son 
You’re in a relationship with a man child. They never work out, sorry.
Ummm… No! I am sorry if I am being too blunt, but honey you don’t have a husband… You have an overgrown, overentitled, lazy and downright disrespectful child. I, myself, am a stay at home mother. I have an 8 year old son and a 3 month old daughter and my husband works full time. Thankfully his job provides us the ability for me to stay home. However, I do not see it as an opportunity to do what ever the hell I want and sit on my butt all day long and demand my husband do all the work of both parents when he comes home. You’re husband should be getting off his butt and doing what is expected. If he is already acting this way then I am going to bet that counseling is going to be your best bet. If he doesn’t take it seriously after a few months then kick his lazy ass to the curb. You’re already a single parent with a freeloading adult so if he refuses to change or put in the work then you are only going to be better off by ridding yourself of the problem.
I say time to kick him to the curb. I agree with Marie Green 100%. Children learn what they live. Is that how you want your son to become a “man”?
Hy should your husband do anything ? You do it all …he does not have a felt need . he is lazy , disrespectful and frankly disgusting . if you are the financial bread winner then give him an ultimatum . get off the couch and get a life before your backside grows roots into the couch or we are done . why should you kill yourself working all the time so he can be a couch potato ? Would he do the same for you if you needed him too ? No he couldnt leave the couch long enough
He’s using you for a free ride. Kick the loser to the curb.
Go get a divorce
He is just using you as a golddigger
U are doing everything now
U can do better with out him
Good luck
wtf lady? Kick him to the curb. A daycare would be cheaper
Stop minding a big fool like that Take your child an go u will definitely find happiness else where
He sounds like an overgrown child.
You are to blame sweetie for the simple fact you have allowed him to do this, why do you want or need to have him around he is using you and he has it made a roof over his head, food to eat, hes spending your hard earn $ , he doesnt have to work, plus he doing what he enjoys playing video games sounds like a LOSER TO ME! Either get him out, or start saving $ to move w/ your child the good part you only have 1 child please dont have anymore from him. He should have the house spitless as well as your son when you come home and have dinner made and cleaned up after, he not going to change if he is not paying attention to you imagine the crap your son is going threw when your not thete? Get rid of him you deserve someone else not this piece of shit! Much luck
This guys a bitch (not meaning females in anyway) you have a bitch tell him get off his ass and go to work support his family or just leave you don’t need that negativity in your life
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I would leave his ass
So from a woman who got married at 16 and has been married for over 30 years now I think I can say , gurl you stupid. Don’t be stupid . I think you put your business on social media cause you wanted to hear what you already know. Fuck Him! Do for you and your baby.
Why ask advice from ppl you know you’re not going to listen to? If you heard him say he wasn’t looking for a job , you should’ve left that day looking for your own place. Kinda sounds like you’re afraid of him or of being alone. Believe me you are already alone. The babies deserve a better babysitter and you deserve to be appreciated. Leave him to fend for himself a while. See how long he plays games when his electricity is turned off. You spoiled him from being a good productive man by giving him your hard earned money to support his addiction. WAKE UP!! Leave and help him grow up!
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My first husband was like that, he did have a part time job though. But when he got home from work, video games all night long. Wouldn’t make dinner, do the dishes, vacuum, nothing. Had multiple conversations about his gaming and nothing ever changed. Divorced him, thankfully we didn’t have any kids!
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Your literally supporting everything so you know you’ll be fine without him. Make him leave. Video games shouldn’t be more important than your family and money damn sure shouldn’t be going to them and taking from his family when he isn’t even man enough to get a job and try to support yall. Run like the wind hun it ain’t worth it plenty of hardworking family fish in the sea.
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Maybe play with him? Get fighting games and you guys can fight each other on the video game? Take an interest in it and I bet you’ll both be happy.
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I’d be concerned about how he looks after your son when you’re not around! Until he realises that he has an addiction, noone can help him. Is there a way that you could open your own bank account and not give him access to your $? If he wants to spend $300 on games then he should earn that money himself. You have a young son to plan for and your husband’s attitude towards all this is very childish. At the end of the day, you know what’s best for you, if you need to give him time to get his act together then do that. 
All the best. x
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First you make an appointment with a marriage counselor. If he won’t go, go on your own. Then you remove the console. Put it in your car and take it to work if you have to. If he is playing games and sleeping, when is he tending to the baby. You could tell him he needs to find a full time job asap and you reverse roles and you stay home.
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You two are married, therefore, you’re a team. If the situation was reversed, I doubt he would behave as kindly as you have.
He has no right to spend money YOU earned for your family on something so selfish.
I would explain, calmly that he is acting selfishly and needs to BE A MAN and provide for his family. If any of this is a problem for him, it’s time to get a lawyer and file for divorce.
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Girl.
Marriage is about team work and working it out. Try counciling; however it doesn’t seem like he wants to. Honestly i would pull you’re money out of the bank and grab your child and walk. He doesn’t contribute so he has no money. Your little man is learning how to treat women by watching. Do not enable his behavior anymore. I know it hurts and I am sorry you are going through it. I had to break my own heart to save my daughters because their dad sucked…just ask yourself, is this really how you want to spend the rest of your life? Babysitters come a dime a dozen. He isn’t worth the mental abuse talking about the constant manipulation. My heart goes out to you sincerely.
Take all the cords to the controllers and game systems …put them in your trunk or anywhere he can’t access … after a week or so compromise on duties …and if he is still resistant I may have pause that he may be too immature to converse with about adult things…if that’s the case I would remove the gaming systems and prevent anymore childish behaviour if possible…this is not how normal people do things and parenting your partner is pretty much bottom of the barrel and should never be done
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You’re married to a child and he’s obviously using you spending your hard earned money and blowing it on bs and you can’t force him to work but you can tell him to leave and go find someone that has no problem letting him use them or you can just stand there and be his mom
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First of all, I’m sorry that you find yourself in this situation. You married this man because you both wanted to have a life together. A marriage is an investment, an oath. You have to be prepared to work through the bad times. So if you still want to be with him, then be prepared to put some hard work in to make things work, because the easiest option is to leave.
He needs to accept that you are not happy, and he needs to acknowledge it.
Secondly, he needs to realise its time to grow up and find work, if talking hasn’t worked, then you will need to give him an ultimatum. He made a child with you, so he needs to get a job at the wkend.
If he hasn’t been honest with you then tell him. Be straight and upfront.
Do not allow him access to any money if he is spending it on gaming.
There are plenty of things I could say, but this is your relationship, and it is between you and your husband to sort out xxxx
You sound much more mature than him for starters. He needs to get a job and help support his family, after all, it’s his baby too. You are the one bringing in the money and he’s selfish to be spending that amount of money on himself. Change your banking so he can’t have access to it! Perhaps some marriage counseling would help. Good luck
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Oh my … he is a child! He is so using you! You are not getting anything from this relationship. You could easily leave and raise your little one on yiur own. Sounds like he is not ready to grow up!
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If after a conversation didn’t change,I would cut him out of all benifits. Meaning no home cooked dinner for him, stop doing his laundry, stop paying for his phone or whatever. If he wants to live like he’s not part of a team then stop playing team with him. Hopefully that’ll wake him up to all that you do. If not I’d walk. And honestly, it sad that you do all the working while he gets to stay home all day with the child. He should work too so you could enjoy your time as well. Life is too short to miserable. You already have one baby, you don’t need an adult one
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It’s much easier when two pull the wagon while loading together. Good luck w him growing into responsibility/adulthood. Face it : you’ve two children
I’m sorry but you don’t have a husband, you have another child. You need to send his ass to work and get another form of care for your son if possible, if he doesn’t work and doesn’t lift a finger at home, he’s gone. If you came home from work and dinner was ready, dishes were done, laundry was done, the house was clean, and your son was properly taken care of, fantastic!! Except none of that is happening. My husband knows that I don’t care what he makes, but he better work. No way I’m busting my ass to take care of some selfish, childish, probably cheating on you man.
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Sounds like my baby daddy… He currently lives with his grandma and we (daughter and I) live on our own. He makes his own choices. 
You married a boy, not a man. First thing I would do if I was in that situation is open another bank account, then kick him out. Reason I say open another bank account is because if he already has a card/access somehow to the one you got, then he will continue to take it, even if you decide to kick him out.
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So you been married 3 years was he always like this before your son was born question yourself what do you benefit from the whole relationship apart from having a child together as what I’m thinking is if he is a first time dad and can’t find work or hasn’t bothered looking for a job as in my opinion he should support and provide for the family you really need to point out to him that it isn’t fair on you or the son try pinpoint exactly where he is coming from as he could be suffering in silence try understand his feelings try work on goals if nothing works then marriage counseling is the go as your son will be feeling neglected by him while he has him outline how it affects your son
K Michelle said it best, when she said can’t raise a man. He’s a child. If you want another child, have one. Don’t MARRY one. Separate bank accts. Keep your money for the house and bills. Get out now. It won’t get any better.
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Put your damn foot down! You go & apply for him & make him get a job. if he doesn’t go I think you need to leave because he’s not putting no effort into yalls marriage.
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To help with chores make him a list and tell him to check them off as he does them… I found this worked on my teenage son … I didn’t have to nag him just make the list and it worked for him… I know he’s your husband but he’s acting like a teenage son
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Sounds like my marriage, except mine has a job. These boys are damn ridiculous! I’m in the process of filing because I cant deal with the laziness I want my son to be a MAN not another burden for someone else!
This is why divorce rates are so high… its so easy to sit there on the outside and say leave him… not only are they married but theres a child involved… marriage is for better or for worse… you dont up and leave the first obstacle… there’s counselling… theres so many other options other then leaving… he might be depressed… i went through this before…
Honestly I don’t really care about your husband being a piece of work I care about the example that he’s giving your child. His teaching your child to be that kind of man. Do you want your son to be that kind of man? We are what we see growing up and you are allowing him to see a pattern of not helping around the house being Reckless and not emotionally validating his partner. I think that it’s time you realize that you married somebody who wanted you to be their mother and they’re completely happy with you being their mother and they have no intent to be a caretaker or provide for you. If I were you I would leave screw him. You can find somebody who cooks you dinner and does laundry and plans beautiful date nights for you. You don’t need somebody who wants you to wipe their ass for them
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Take the game away. He wants to act like a spoiled teenager, treat him like one. No games until he does chores.
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Better he spends his time and money on games instead of drugs and gambling
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I dont blame him i wouldnt look for a job. He is getting to sleep and play video games all day. Tell him to get off his lazy ass and get a job if not then he needs to leave.
Sounds like you are married to a little boy that Dosent want to grow up you do you really want another child or do you want a partner it’s you call but he’s not going to change until someone or something makes him good luck
When my husband was doing this I opened another bank account and put all the money there
If it were me, I’d leave him. He is selfish, and is probably cheating. He doesn’t respect you as his wife. Frankly, he doesn’t care.
Long overdue to grow up and start adulting. Work before playing games.
Ask him to picture the roles reversed.
Id give him an ultimatum. Either he man’s up or he can get out. You need a man that’s going to help you grow not mooch off of you.
Send him down the road, get rid of his lazy bum.my opinion, take it or leave it. He is a grown man, make him be responsible by leaving him.
That’s abuse and manipulation. I’d tell him to get out.
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Tell him you’ll get a divorce and he’ll be on his ass if he doesn’t get it together 
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He obviously wants to live by himself, so leave and give his wish, you are too good to let a man treat you this way !
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My ex husband did this. I divorced him best choice I ever made
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Sounds like my son. Lmao. Sorry but you married a child 
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Tell him to leave. Then maybe he will realize how good he has it.
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Get your own account talk to him if he won’t listen keep him to the curb
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Leave him! You and your kids are going to be much better w/o him . You do you and keep your head up
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Also- get your own bank account and don’t let him have access to it.
He has a new girlfriend and her name is Video Game . Leave before you have another child .
.
Hey if your going to be alone pavk up you and the baby and be alone maybe he will miss you when the bank account is dry …
Time to open a new account and direct deposit his allowance for games into the current account
You need to dump him a find a real man
Video games are the most annoying things in the world!!
He’ll probably will not ever change
Are you his mother or wife…
I’d be like see ya! He’s a child
Bull shit…u know where he’s not. In. Bar or some1 else’s bed. You grow up.
Well you are raising two kids, one you want to keep, and one you should get rid of
Try to do most of this in a week:
Open your own account and have your money put in there.
File for divorce.
Disconnect the internet.
Tell his mom he is moving back in with her.
Sell the computer.
Tell him to gtf out.
You can rock it as a single mom.
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You are married to a boy, that is refusing to grow up and be a man. My advice is to find a MAN. Boys like that don’t change, and if they do, they are 50 before it happens.
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Put your child in daycare and make his ass get a job or out good luck
Get a divorce , now!!!
You can do bad all by yourself
Fuck all that …leave him, better yet kick his scrub ass to the curb/OUT. A “MAN” WILL DO WHAT YOU ALLOW!!!
Stop paying the internet for the video games and cut him off your bank account tok
Sounds like your husband is a CHILD. You are in this together. If he can’t pull his slack he better go back and live with his mother because you are not her!
I’d leave that lazy sack of nothing. Been there done that, bet he don’t change or feed your son properly either. Too preoccupied.
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Kick him to the curb. I agree with Amanda you need a man not a boy. You need to be a partner to someone not his mother.
Sounds like a lazy piece of shit! And if he is staying up until 3am you said you have a young son can’t imagine him getting up with your son anytime early? Wow.
He is a child …he needs to get a job and help financially and be a partner …if not kick his ass out…you’re better off alone than taking care of his lazy ass.also I’d be wondering how good he takes care of the baby . He sounds very lazy to me
The obvious question, how can he watch his child if he is playing games? Take the goddamn computer away ,from this fucking idiot.
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You need to leave that bastard
Sounds like we’re married to the same guy