My husband doesn't finish when we have intercourse: Advice?

Me and my boyfriend of 15 years have always had a strong sex life. But about 2 years ago,after him developing type 2 diabetes, it’s a struggle. I have to say,as a woman,it will make you question if it’s you. And I’ll also say,after many tears of frustration and many talks, its apparent,its the disease he is dealing with.


That’s NOT your fault at all.
He needs to see a Dr.

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Could be meds, signs of heart disease, something emotional, etc. could be lots of reasons

Some type of pills he’s taking.

First of all do not blame yourself. Does he drink?
He needs to go to a Dr for a check up it’s time, his age guys need a prostrate exam…

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Get him to get his thyroid checked!!!

Spice up your sex life with some toys - be adventurous! May get the blood pumpin’ :eggplant:

I think this is an inappropriate question to ask on a Facebook page.

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So… Is it the boyfriend or the husband that doesn’t finish :grimacing:


Maybe he’s gay? I mean if he gets off by head or hand jobs fine but has problems getting off with sexual intercourse and sometimes staying hard during it…


You should be open and talk about it a healthy sex life is being able to talk to your partner about anything and everything in the bedroom or wherever you get down and dirty lol but after i became more open and able to talk to my partner about my likes and dislikes as did he the sex is so amazing super intense like never before so seriously talk to him and console him make sure he knows that your not trying to upset or embarrass him you just want to know if theres an issue that can be easily solved may e it’s something simple your not getting wet enough or you may need to trim down there it might be causing some chaffing it could be 100 different things medically or not just ask life’s to short to not take the bull by the horns I would never want to feel like me or my partner was cheated during sex and sounds like hes getting cheated when he doesn’t get off so my advise talk be open so you can fix it :blush:

Does he watch porn? Honest question. Once men are in that ish deep nothing but that raunchy way will work

Sounds like he’s watching porn and has already taken care of himself.

Prostate issue maybe…

Do we need this on Facebook?

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I don’t think it’s you lol I think he’s just getting old and isn’t bothered much by it or is embarrassed and doesn’t wanna talk about it


My ex husband and I didn’t have sex for over 10 years. I brought it up to him to speak to his doctor about her for it, but he never did.

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I think not you. Its him . Checkmtomsee if he watches porn,
I had someone like this and he was watching porn everyday. We didn’t last as he continued to watch porn. Couldn’t function any more with a real woman.

So both your husband & boyfriend have this problem? Talk about bad luck. :joy:


May be low on his tetasrone

He could have low testosterone


Mayb he does have a problem but brushing it aside jus not to talk about it n keep u happy. Decide one day to approach him, because u r genuinely concerned out of love. Let him know…this is a no judgement chat…no guilt, no shame…this is us fixing us, for a better us…n discuss it…ask him to be open bcuz u will be. Then u both work things out. All the best


Is he doing drugs? Sorry I know it’s a tough subject to talk about but I had an ex that was like that but he was an addict and I didn’t know but that was the reason he couldn’t get off or stay hard (it didn’t bother him but it upset me for obvious reasons)


Talk to him about it. There are many factors that can cause this. To include Age, Medication (If he takes any). Testosterone could be low. (Easily Fixed with 1 shot per month). I personally would rather confront the problem as to sit around and worry and blame yourself. Communication is “KEY”.


I would definitely ask him about porn. It may possibly be from a health issue but 90% of the time it is from a porn addiction. It literally chemically alters a man’s brain and desensitizes them to the real thing. I studied porn addiction a lot because it was a huge issue with my ex husband that I didn’t really know about til we were already married with a baby.


He orgasms during hand jobs and bjs so it doesn’t sound like a physical issue… it might be that he gets bored during intercourse. Does it happen just during missionary? Try switching it up. Most importantly talk to him! He may be watching a lotta porn and desensitized unless the sex is extra nasty :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:… not judging bc I see nothing at all wrong with enjoying adult vids buttttt sometimes we might get carried away and it can affect us mentally or physically when it’s time to have real sex with our partners. I would let him know his pleasure is important to you and ask him how you both can make it so both are enjoying intercourse. Good luck! Ill bet he will appreciate you more for caring :heart:


There’s a million reasons why this could be and you’re going to drive yourself crazy trying to figure out which it is. Save yourself the hassle and ask him


My boyfriend, about ten years ago, had the same problem. He had high blood pressure. As long as he takes his meds he’s fine. Have him go to his pcp for a checkup. Then have him see a urologist if needed.

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Could be many reasons but one of the first things that came to mind was that he didn’t want kids. Maybe he’s scared you will end up getting pregnant and so he doesn’t allow himself to finish inside of you…and being he gets off the other ways there is no chance of pregnancy those ways. Just a thought


Honey. It is always 99% not your fault. Something could be bugging him outside the bedroom. Or he maybe he gets a cramp and has to stop. But instead of making him sound weak he just stops.
Communicate your issues. There could be something you could do to help you just dont know about yet.
May be time for some spice


It could be anything. My fiancé is 8 years older than me and has had similar problems due to being unhealthy and having stress. I would speak with him about it, but make sure not to down him.


My husband is the same way… Most of the time he goes soft almost as soon as I orgasm… And has a hard time getting hard (unless it’s the morning wood thing)… He’s been this way all his life…


You stated that he don’t have kids and at this point he doesn’t want any kids, it is possible that the thought of making babies is on his mind in the midst of intercourse.


Maybe try something different you know spice things up a bit. Things can get a little boring sometimes for both partners and sex just becomes like a routine rather than fun and exciting. Maybe different scenery, lingerie, foreplay anything different that will catch his attention. Good luck with everything hun regardless of anything don’t stress it too much he sounds like a great husband who truly loves you :heart:

I knew someone who was abused when he was young… The trauma he went thru damaged his performance… Talk to him…just saying…


Maybe he has low Testosterone levels. Its happens with both men and women. Doctors can help out with hormone levels and all that.

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I think this is a conversation you need to have with him, to find out what’s going on.

My husband has issues sometimes but it’s bc of his weight…that gives him an even BIGGER complex.
Have you asked him about it?
You could always “help him” :ok_hand:during your time together.
sorry tried not to get graphic.
If you know it isn’t bc of lack of kegal(?) excersies then start googling some stuff :crazy_face:

My husband is only 40 and this happens all the time but he doesn’t know why so he now has viagra prescribed by a doctor if he doesn’t take 1 it happens mid way through and ruins it because I’m left feeling horny still and like I’m to blame

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My ex had this issue cause of medications he was on, and he was a alcoholic.

Time to spicin things up in the bedroom. Maybe the same routine isnt enough anymore. Get some gels, massage him, handcuffs, run a bath and take one together. Dont make it seem like u are having scheduled sex. Get romantic with it. Candles, soft music, aromas, maybe some whip cream and chocolate syrup. Take his mind off things. Blind fold him. Get kinky. If that doesnt work, then its time to discuss it with him. Theres also pills at a gas station to help with this. If not then its time to see a doctor.

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this happens sometimes with my boyfriend dont blame yourself its hard not to do

There are so many things it could be, try your hardest to not assume the worst case scenario until you have riled everything else out

Maybe he’s just like some women are. Penetrative sex isn’t his get off button. Maybe get your fix and then finish with something that works for him.


Maybe he needs to see a urologist. Quit blaming yourself and see if there is a physical reason for this


In all honesty, get with a pure romance consultant!!! You will be so glad you did! Your consultant can give you tons of information on this AND recommend certain products to help!!!


It can be a lot of things porn addiction stress and or depression or he’s getting pleasure somewhere else or masturbating hisself to much or possibly some health issues but only way your gonna know anything is If you talk to him and also investigate

Go to a dr. Is he circumcised? (If tmi just don’t answer). That can cause problems down the road with sensitivity.

He likely needs prescribed Testosterone easy fix

There’s lots of factors Is he over weight any health conditions age in general

Is he a diabetic? This sounds very familiar, I suggest to get is A1C level checked out. Helped my marriage.

Sounds like he doesn’t want a baby…is it the same with condoms?

I know you can also get a testosterone ointment. That also helps.

It’s his age…the little blue pill maybe

I bet he’d figure out if you stepped out to get pleasured else where :joy:

He poppin them pills messing with his muscle


When men hit 40 things change.

Only a blood test would maybe be the answer as to why,?

My husband has a similar “thing”!! My husband is a beer drinker. Maybe twice a week he drinks. If he has more than 4-5 beers…he’s warm & fuzzy feeling. He’s horny, gets hard, let’s me orgasm…but he can’t finish. Or its like ALOT of “work” to finish. There’s so many reasons it could be…be open so you can help each other!!

His age can be a factor and may need to see a doctor. Suggest it and see where it goes. Good luck!!

Low hormones.
It can be anything really.

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He might be afraid he’s going to get you pregnant

I think he is making sure he doesnt have kids

Could he not be attracted to you anymore? Maybe he’s gay? If he gets off with blow jobs and hand jobs? Js
No offense to anyone.


You said, my HUSBAND doesn’t finish when we have intercourse. Then it leads into I have a super awsome BOYFRIEND. That could be the problem.


he doesnt want to make a baby!!!

I worked in a urology office. It’s not as uncommon as you may think. He may need to see one to find out the reason.

He sounds serious about not having kids to me :woman_shrugging:t2:

Does he smoke :leaves:? Because regular smoking of it can make that happen. Some medical things can as well

Could be drug use, prescription for blood pressure, stress, working too much, low testosterone. :thinking:

Age could for sure be a factor

My husband is like this and we have been together for 7 yrs. He has been like this our whole relationship and his whole life.

Things we have figured out is his Testosterone levels are low, he is very addicted to porn, and not to be too TMI but I get too wet for him sometimes.

Things we have figured out to help a little. He is seeing his doctor about his testosterone levels, he is working on his porn addiction (HELPED SO much), as much as I want to get him off I’m ok that he doesn’t as long as he’s ok with it, which he is. If I’m still horny, he pleasures me with a toy or his mouth, which usually gets him hard again. Not sure what your thoughts are about anal sex, I don’t care for it, BUT this HELPS a lot as well! Every time we have anal sex he gets off.

Have a conversation with him and research it together, it’s actually very common!

Hope all this helps!

Im confused says your husband then it says bf ?

Have him see a Dr. ED has many fixable factors. Aldo check his browser history. Porn can cause this and it’s :100: not you

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It could be overly lubricated and he can’t feel much but wetness. :thinking: is his penis average size? You may need to squeeze girl! You can do kegels twice a day to help or even get pelvic floor therapy to tighten everything up.

He may have a kink he is afraid to share. Maybe he wants to spank or who knows. Ask him and be prepared to remain calm mo matter what. Ask him what he needs. It’s that simple sex shouldn’t be weird with someone you love. Shit put on a clown outfit if that’s what it takes lol

Could be stress. My boyfriend is the same way not being able to get it up sometimes it going soft mid sex. It drives me crazy but he said it’s from years of drug use and the stress of daily living, so his body doesn’t function like most do.


At 47, the problem is probably him. :woman_shrugging:

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My ex was like that too but he is SO incredibly deep into porn he can only get himself off. No sex with me the last 8 years of our marriage. He slept on the sofa but I could hear him out there.


This is something you should probably talk to your shrink about sounds pretty private if you ask me.

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Since he doesn’t seem concerned about it I guarantee you something else is getting him off.


I believe this is something to speak to a medical doctor about. There could be many factors as to why this happens - physically or mentally.

Try and be supportive i’m sure it bothers him and he may even feel embarassed but doesn’t want to show it cause he’s a man.


It could be his hobbies

I’d just sit down and talk to him.dont make him feel embarrassed just tell him you have noticed and that you want to have him see a doctor to make sure nothing is wrong honestly could just be his age lol. He might need alittle help from time to time.


Try turning over…it could be that facing him means it doesn’t rub him the right way.

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My husband was the same way. Finally convinced him to talk to his doctor. He was embarrassed to admit it. Turns out there is such a thing as make menopause and his testerone level was low. Started using androgen once a day. Just rub it into his arm and within 2 months problem was better


He needs to see a doctor. This isn’t you, this is him.

Positional? Or does it happen in any and all positions? Is he a fairly in shape man or does she have the dad bod?

Hes a porn addict.
My ex started to exhibit the exact same behavior and it’s madeneing and upsetting.
Or maybe he is using drugs?
Both were issues that were factors in my situation


Hes either watching to much porn or drinking to much alcohol…


Maybe he has a medical issue?

Maybe it’s could be because he’s circumsized? I’ve been told that it can really affect some men when they get older, losing sensitivity over time.


I think this has nothing to do with you and everything to do with him. Like ED. Or low testosterone. Get him to a doctor.


Well that shouldnt be issue it could medical issue that happen ing

He’s concerned, he just doesn’t show it. If he isn’t drinking or doing drugs, It could be he is overthinking about not pleasing you, it could be medical like blood flow or less testosterone

The only time I wasn’t able to make my so cum was because he was stuck on his ex this is probably not the case

I have the same problems as your boyfriend my is my medication from being a diabetic and low testosterone and other medication from tumors on my ad.glands

Does he use drugs? Some long term drug use can cause ED.

Same exact thing as you, but my bf is 31. Idk. It used to bother me and I’ve come to terms that its not my fault.