I was in this same situation. I have never been happier since leaving him. I wish I would have done it so much sooner. Xoxo
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Hugs. Me too girl. Trapped by choice is what I like to call it. Cabin fever on a schedule. Hugs. It’ll get better or you’ll get over it and move on.
They don’t get it. And they don’t get that if they were single they’d have to come home and do shit for themselves. I loved working. Freedom of chaos. Hugs.
Get a baby sitter and piss off for a night or two and just worry about ya self for once, if he bungs on bad luck, tell him your tired and this is what it has come to because you have no help or no life and your exhausted., that should change his attitude. Sometimes we need to give them and ultimatum. And if you trying to be happy makes him angry or more controlling then throw the whole man out.
Get a sitter go to work outside of the home…go see your mom…stop finding excuses about no time…he can only control u if u want to be controlled
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I would day care a few days. It helped so much
I’d leave and being a mom is a full time job 24/7 my husband is like that when we lived in the apartment he constantly came home and told me that I don’t do anything but sit on my ass on my phone which wasn’t true is clean the apartment and I’d leave the dishes for him to do but he never would do them and he still to this day says I don’t do anything but sit on my ass
When you’re in this kind of situation you just have to ask yourself what can I do to help me? Put yourself in as a priority. I wouldn’t care if my husband made any remarks because I’m going to do what makes me happy whether that is visiting my family or skipping up on a meal for him and have a meal at my families or just with my kids at a restaurant girl you don’t gotta do everything with him! They have a preschool you can put your 3 year old in if you want some time to work alone and focus. It’s up to you to make these changes and I’m not sure what you may be asking for… I think I would look into helping yourself and figure out how to find some happiness for you whether that is finding more independence or you time or if the husband is making you feel a type of way and that’s the main reason you aren’t happy I’m just not sure… but find some you time however you can!
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Show him what you just wrote.
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He’s controlling & emotionally abusive. Devise a plan for you & your kids…see if there’s a safe house where you can stay. Then lay it out for him & if he won’t change, leave. I know it’s easier said than done but do not let him control you 1 more minute. Zero friends, isolating you, him timing you when you’re out are signs of controlling behavior. I wish you much luck. Be strong!
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If you don’t like your life then change it. Talk to your spouse. Tell him either things change and he helps out more or you are leaving him. He could be bathing the kids while you clean up after dinner. Then you both put your girls to bed and work on them going to bed without you in the bed.
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I don’t mean this cruel or nasty but your the pinky one that can change things. Join a mom group. Take your time when you go out. If he wants to pout like a child give him an adult time out.
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Split the work are split from him you think!
I see grooming, codependency, and possessiveness in this relationship. There needs to be a sit down with your husband to discuss your needs in this relationship. There should be shared responsibility, and healthy boundaries. He has internal work to do and together you need to address your concerns. Therapy perhaps. Read the 5 love languages by Gary Chapman. Listen to a chapter a day with eachother.
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When you understand that people can only do what you allow them to do, your life will change happiness comes from with in. Never loose yourself for others, life is to be shared not controlled. Good luck and God bless.
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BIG Leave him. He thinks you can’t function without internet him. Show him that you can.
Get in position to leave. While he is at work and one kid is at school spend time with your mom, maybe see if she will babysit the youngest for a little while so you can start preparing to leave. Save your money in a different account in maybe a maiden name, and when you have enough money go to court and file for custody of the kids. Once you have that, move. If he doesn’t want to help and you are on your own, may as well be alone.
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It sounds to me he has power over u, power and control is a form of mental abuse. Especially if he has attitude about u spending time with your family. Take a deep look at what u just wrote and figure out what u want and exactly what u are saying.
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Make money in your part-time job simply by working online. Pay more than $ 13,000 a month from home. I made a total of $ 42,854 in 3 months working online at home. Details here.
you still work although from home. yall should be splitting the parenting evenly when he’s home. no one’s keeping the kids out of your way when you’re tired. f3ck that. you have a roommate not a partner.
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Google already pays me $ 250 an hour to work from home online. I put this job online for up to 3 hours a day with my laptop. It is very easy and very good to get a decent income. This is what I do.
Stop doing house work. Take care of your kids, fix them food, don’t fix any for him. If “you’ve been home all day” means you haven’t been working, let it pile up for one day even and show him how much you actually do. Show him how you work. House work is labor.
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It might take some time but change the routine of laying in bed with your girls put them in their beds and let them fall asleep on their own maybe get like a noise white noise machine or a little radio something but I understand it sounds like you’re taking away from them but you’re gaining some time for yourself
Stop putting up with a man you aren’t even married to!
Get a job, get a new attitude, tell him what to do for a change. He’ll wake up or leave!!
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Start making a lot of money online every month. I work and last month I earned $ 14,750 and did it part time for 2 hours a day. That’s what I followed to get started.
Not a good situation. Take a day off work. Take your youngest to your mom’s to babysit while your oldest is at school. Go see a lawyer. Get custody of your girls and child support. Send Mr I Wear The Pants In This Family on his way. He can take his controlling ways and lack of help and consideration on down the road. He’ll find no one else will put up with it. I have a feeling he’s not that big a prize.
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Why are u calling him your husband if he’s not
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You can always pm me
Maximize your daily income by working fast from home. Last month, I received my 4th salary of $ 17,596 and did it in just 2 hours a day. Great job and great income from it. This is what I do.
Can u put your youngest child in care or perhaps hire a nanny or uni student to help with domestic stuff and supervise while you work?
I’d also start keeping a diary of what you do on a daily basis for maybe a week or 2.
Try talking to him the show him your diary.
Make sure u put in there that he’s at work from xx am to xx pm.
He cones home at xxpm and dies…and list what he does.
Hopefully he’ll get the hint…if not dint do his washing, cook for him or clean up after him.
Fairs fair.
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Move in with your mum be much happier
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Girl your getting played big time…It’s time to stand up and make a decision…meaning go out into the work force and make friends with your co workers…Do you like to bowl? Or are you artistic/crafts person?..Go to classes…leave the kids with your mom or hire a babysitter so you can do any one of these things…As far as you kids banging on the door of the bathroom when your in it…they would do it “1” time if I was there…By the way…so what if he has an attitude if your longer than 2 hours…TS…he can deal with it…Inform him he’s going to watch the kids while your doing your thing for once…and if he refuses…pack his bags…and inform him he’s moving …Ask yourself just what are you getting now?? That’s right …NOTHING…so what do you have to lose? ’
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Leave him. Your basically a single mom anyway. Drop the dead weight. You’ll be so much happier.
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Your husband sounds HORRIBLE!
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Make more money working part time at home. Start earning $ 15,000 or more a month just by working from home online. I was paid $ 16,842 last month and spent only 2 hours in my daily life. This is what I do.
Can message me anytime!! I feel the same way a lot. And have time beg for a break some times
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I think I just read my life written by another. I can relate, it’s so hard having littles, I love them to pieces but momma needs momma time. Thankfully my parents are amazing and help anytime I need them.
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Omg you sound like me. I’m a stay at home mom with 2 girls too. I do literally everything because my hubby is a trucker. He sits on his butt driving all week and I run my ass off. He’s just now started to see how much I actually do for everyone and every critter in our household. We’ve been married 11 years and he’s just now seeing that…I wish I could tell you it gets better. Men are blind to everything women do because we do it so well… I’m here if you ever want to chat 
The best thing I ever did was find a best mom friend. Bonus, she’s a stay-at-home mom with a girl the same age as my mine so we both watch the girls for each other. Honestly, she does it more than I do and I’m so grateful that she is my mommy partner. I don’t know what I would do without her? I was lucky enough to meet her through work but I’ve also met other moms at the playground and in random toddler classes I sign up for. I trust this woman more than anyone!
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since he is refusing to help you , do these things …
- he needs to sleep on the couch
- stop doing everything for him , do only for you and the kids … leave him out of everything … he doesn’t want to help you and want to treat you that way then he should be paying for his own things and doing his own things … if you help pay for his phone and car , stop … make him do it … he should be buying his own groceries and cooking his own food , doing his own laundry
Other option you have is
Don’t listen to him … make new friends , visit your mom whenever you want to … don’t let him control you
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Communicate. Both of you. Find out where your head is and what you want. Tell him exactly what you feel. Try to communicate with him to find out where his head is and what he wants. If he won’t listen/talk/communicate, or want to work to save the relationship, you all are better off without him. You are still young. It is easy for people to say “throw him out, leave him, etc. Idk this guy, none of us here do. You should know his character, what he is / was truly like. If he is a narcissistic jerk, sociopath and or psychopath, plan your escape. Get a lawyer. He should be sharing in the care of the kids when he comes home, baths/bed/all. He has checked out of the family it sounds like. This not not a happy family. There is no relationship. Nobody, including the kids, are happy living with this negative environment. He needs to man/husband/father up and want to do it. Maybe you need a part-time job. You both need to have interests together, with the children and your own. There will be nothing left once the kids are teenaged if you do not enact change now. Idk how long this has been like this. Honestly, if he was always like this and has checked out on you and the kids, end it. Do not waste any time if he does not respect you and the children. You need a life, friends, family and fun. Only you can make it happen. Good luck. Give yourself the same advice you would give a friend/ sister, if they had written what you wrote. Life is too short to be in that horrible situation girl!!!
Find a male friend too!
Stop taking care of him
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You must make time for YOU. Sit down with your husband and let him know exactly where you are in the relationship and how your feeling! Tell him what you need yall are pretty darn young, he may just not get it. If your gone 3 hrs and come home to some attitude that is his issue not yours so you just move on with your day and let him deal with his attitude. Do not keep the kids quiet just because Daddy is home and he may be tired, you are tired too. When you keep it all quiet your husband thinks you must have every single thing in good control so he just moves on too. It would be nice if maybe he could make a meal or clean up after dinner which would be helpful to you. Team playing in a marriage is SO nice. Good luck to you
What a a$$ it’s already like your a single parent, run to your moms and don’t cook or clean for him he is a abusive control freak whether he hits or not
Timing you? Yeah no. He is a selfish control freak. His kids are as much his job as they are yours.
Oh Honey… you DO need a break… can you talk to your mom about this? He isn’t hearing you.
Screen shot this and send it to him, so he sees exactly how you feel.
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Time to pack up and go. 2 kids is enough to look after… you don’t need an adult child, too.
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Good comment Kendra!
Sounds like your married to a boy . Two people laid down and made two kids. Only one is doing all the work . I understand my husband didn’t help with first child at all . When we planned for the second I put my foot down I told him look you needed help out when second one comes or I’m leaving you bc I can do this all myself bc you don’t help . He changed for the better . You can’t do everything and not take care of yourself . You will burn out ! I would put your foot down get attitude with him . See your mom more hell pack the kids up and if you can go stay with your mom til he shake up . You got demand respect. Now if you are going to stay the same and not do anything to change this situation then you got to have talk with your daughters and tell them you shouldn’t be doing everything as a woman don’t grow up and think like this. Bc they see what you do and they think the man doesn’t have to do anything . You got to stand up and demand more from him
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Share the work load… men should take responsibility too helping taking care of kids n doing chores around the home…
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No husband in the world see how exhausted his wife is with all the household chores and office work …
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Apparently your situation isn’t 50/50, you really should fix that problem honey!!! Bless his heart lol
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Sounds to me it’s a him issue not a child issue. He could help put them to bed while you shower, he could start laundry, do dishes or put them away, he could give you a day on your own while he watches whom are also his children. You didn’t get yourself pregnant, he helped in that area, getting a woman pregnant isn’t where fatherly duty ends. It ends when he dies.
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Sounds like you are creating your problems. You let him do nothing by handling it all and letting him do nothing. Leave that shit out for a while, let your kids cry & put themselves to bed, have them help you with some chores. Leave those clothes for a while, they’ll be fine. Go take a walk when he gets home & tell the girls to watch a movie & be quiet.
Tell him to step up or step out you don’t need another child to take care of there are better men out there if he doesn’t want to be a partner
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This is common. Have your Mom help to give you a break. Schedule Granny day weekly. A routine. Men don’t get it.
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Stop working from home. Tell him the amount of work you put in without his help is payment. If your working a full time job taking care of him and kids you deserve as much leisure as he does. Therefore cut out the working and print off how much a daycare would pay you, cleaning service for household things. Ask why on top of working you have to do 2 other jobs that people get paid for while he gets to relax and sleep.
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Hire a MAID twice per week. One day comes out of your check, one day comes out of his. On those 2 cleaning days go to your mom’s while the maid is there.
Take your work (if on a laptop) & take your baby to a kiddie park. Meet other moms & Nannies there. Then make play dates with them.
If your husband doesn’t want to participate, go do things anyway. There’s indoor kid play places, museums, libraries, parks, kids will be playing baseball & softball soon.
When you are married with kids, work/marriage/kids do run your life. However, you have to “make” a life of fun times & memories, it won’t just come to you…
IF your husband is controlling your money, time, & actions, it may be time for counseling or separation, because noone deserves to be treated like that.
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For 1 he should be helping you because his 8 hr day is nothing compared to your 24/7 routine + your at home job! For 2 you definitely need “ME” time, and for 3 if he’s “timing” you then there’s something going on (on his part) because anyone who is in their right mind would have the trust in you for you to have time to yourself, no matter how long you are! And 4 you really need to get your daughters going to sleep on their own!! It’s called the sleep separation method. Watch supernanny to see how she does it 
you will find you’ll have ALOT more time to yourself once you get them going to sleep on their own! Also talk to your SO about how you feel! Your human NOT a robot! You have feelings, and needs as well! If he’s not willing to help you out with the children he helped put on this earth then you are better off without him!
My SO is an amazing dad and partner. He works then comes home and takes our daughter from me to spend some good quality time with her, changes her diaper, feeds her, and helps me with w.e I need help with! He also spends time with my other 2 (not his) and helps me take them to their dance class or wherever they wanna go plus has 2 of his own older boys he juggles to take care of and take them where they wanna go.There are “GOOD” men out there!! hopefully you can find one that will actually help you and respect how you feel!!!
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This is not a kid problem or a you problem.
This is a him problem.
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He sounds like a total dick. You would probably be happier if you left him
Check out the control wheel on google. See if it applies to your situation.
My ex was like this too and we are no longer married, lots of reasons but this was one of them. I have since found a great guy who helps me with my two kids and ours together every step of the way! You deserve better! Hugs!
What are you with this bum for? Doesn’t sound like you have sex that often, and he doesn’t give a crap about you. Get out now!!! You are work, you could maybe stay with your mom till you find your own place. If he hasn’t married you in 11 years it is pretty clear he doesn’t care. Go after him for child support.
Leave your kids at your mom’s and take off for a week. Don’t tell him ahead of time. After you’ve already gone, tell him you need a break and you can’t go on like this. If he doesn’t beg you to come back and promise to change, don’t go back. If he does beg, have you list of demands ready and let him know if he doesn’t stick with the list, you’re gone for good.
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Your husband is a dick. He needs to man up and help out with everything. He is being self-centered and selfish. You don’t deserve that. You deserve better. And you deserve a break at least once a week from both your husband and your kids. And, if you decide to stay with him, you both deserve a break from the kids together, a date night at least once a week.
Your husband is a jerk
He should be helping you
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LEAVE HIM now before 11 years turns into 22 and you are still living this way. He will not change and if he will he won’t do it while you’re still putting up with it. You have to show him you won’t stand for it anymore and if he chooses not to change then never look back
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So he is your biggest baby.time for him to go.
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All I can say is I’m sorry babe! I never knew how hard being a stay at home mom was until my last child! Even my man when he is off with us, knows it’s exhausting and he works 50-60 hour weeks and he still knows what I go through, so I can’t imagine having a partner who doesn’t understand or thinks your just “home all day!” You need to join a gym! Make that your YOU time. Be more assertive wit your hubby, don’t ask, TELL. Tell him I’m going to the gym for me time. He’ll be ok! And if he says anything, stand up for yourself! Say I need a damn break! Im not your maid, nor am I a maid to these kids! Im a mother, a wife, a woman. You have valid feelings AND needs. Those don’t stop just because your a mom. Put your foot down and demand some respect mama! 
He’s not actually your husband, leave and even if he was divorce is a thing you can do. Take him to court for child support. Sounds like he is still a 16 year old immature kid to me.
Tell him to stay home for a week or a day see how well he does roles reversed. Stop trying to make him comfortable stop trying to keep the kids out of his was he is a father You both work you both handle the kids and responsibilities start putting u first momma
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A relationship should be a team. Y’all are on different teams in the same dugout that you manage.
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You train people on how they are allowed to treat you. Re train him. If he doesn’t get it. Leave!!
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Whatever is allowed, will continue. Leave with your kids and never look back.
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You are doing what YOU have to do. You should get some YOU time.
Let him taste his own medicine!!!what a nerve!