Time to move him on.
Buy yourself something next time girl. Your putting in 100% and he’s putting in nothing. Make yourself happy and stop showering him. When he asks why let him know!
Keep communicating . We all have different love languages .
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See a therapist.
You don’t need to leave him over something that can be fixed.
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Ask him if he’s willing to try marital counseling because it’s not normal for one person to put in effort and get nothing in return.
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Dump him get with a real man that loves you and helps with everything
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You deserve better than that. You deserve to be treated like a queen. If you really want him to wake up, you should leave. It takes loosing to know what he had. A little hardship won’t kill him but it will make him realize what an amazing wife you are.
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I would also feel hurt, if my husband acted this way. Everyone deserves someone who matches their effort, and if talking to him about it doesn’t change anything, maybe it’s time to reevaluate the amount of effort you give to him. It’s my experience that people make time for what they want and make excuses for everything else. My husband goes all out in every way. You deserve that, too.
Stop. Stop doing all that you do for him. He’ll soon notice what he has, then it’s up to him if he ships up or ships out! As for the “I’m not as thoughtful as you” I’m assuming he wasn’t always like this? He’s got complacent.
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You literally have a 5th kid. You’re already doing it on your own. Kick his ass out
Just because you have children with ur husband doesn’t mean you have to stay if you aren’t happy. He could be cheating on you. Stop making effort …stop doing for him. He will notice an he will ask you for stuff deny him say you aren’t feeling thoughtful today lol leave him …kick him out of YOUR HOUSE! You will definitely get some good results because a lot of women out there won’t do what you do. Let him learn on his own.! Don’t take him back so easy! Who knows maybe you will be so happy you won’t take him back🤷🏽♀️
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Find somebody who’s Worthy. You and your children deserve better.
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Some people just can’t love you the way you need them to and it’s not anybody’s fault… but you only have one life, go where you can find someone who will love you the way you need them to!
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I say make a change. You’ve already mentioned how you feel and addressed that issue and it didn’t have any effect. If I were you, now I would stop doing all of those things he’s gotten accustomed to and see how he reacts to that. Maybe he will come around and say he’s been being an idiot and sorry for taking everything for granted, or maybe you will see that he just doesn’t care and maybe it’s time to take a break. It’s really hard to say because every situation is different but at the end of the day, even when your relationship seems really bleak, sometimes it just takes a little shaking up to get things back on track. Best of luck to you both.
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You’re rewarding him for bad behavior. Stop and either it changes or you realize he is just a 
husband. Although sounds like you already know he is.
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Show him the door. If you’re putting all that effort in and he’s not doing his part it’s not a working relationship. He needs to at least put as much in as you do. Just shake him up and put him back on his toes. He probably wasn’t always like that and he needs to be reminded of that
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Your not his Mother …He is a grown Man… I buy myself the things I want for my birthday and all other Holidays…
When my 2 boys lived at home they came first…
There is no need for you to treat a grown man as a King if he doesn’t even realize you act like a build in Nanny and his caregiver
Let him go buy his own clothes…
When you need something on his way home text it to him
But remember if the text is to long men don’t pay attention
So make short text and send them back to back 
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Seriously?
Seriously…
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If your miserable then either go to a therapist but if he doentncare enough to try then leave
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Has he always been that way ?
One question 
Why do you stay? I own my own house and land. I won’t be treated like that. You deserve better. Your children deserve better. Don’t allow him to treat you like that.
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Three words… bye bye bye
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You already know the answer,get out
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Stop doing everything, it seems like he doesn’t give a crap about you.
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If you’re not ready to bring up to him splitting up (dont bring it up unless you are 100% vested in doing it) then cut him off. Make no effort in sex, dont buy him anything, hell, I’d make you and the kids dinner and not make him any. Show him how you feel, since apparently he can’t comprehend you telling him how you feel. If you keep doing what you are he will NEVER change…
Was he always this way? I’m sad to say that people don’t change for the better when it comes to these things unless something major happens. I had this issue unfortunately and I decided one day to drop it all just like he did. No presents, no extras, I didn’t make plans for fun like I always did, I made dinner and let him know he could serve himself, do his own laundry, etc. I figured he’d gotten comfortable and used to all the bells and whistles from a hard working woman because I’d been like that since the beginning. He had it made. Heck I would’ve married me too! I realized it was partly my fault for not saying out loud the things that bothered me or needed. When I did, it became a fight or he would say terrible things. So I became silent, on purpose, I pulled back completely. When he would complain or criticize me I would fight back and would just stare blankly and kept my mouth shut, which believe me, was super hard to do. Is it the right thing to do? Maybe not. Does it work for everyone? I’m sure it doesn’t. But he started counting all the things that changed for the better in his life after we got married. He realized I didn’t need him to have a life. He understood the amount of will and love I put into caring for his children from his previous marriage, he realized he’d never gotten me a ring, we’d never done a wedding, I never had asked him for money, he understood how hard I was working on the relationship always, how much love I poured into this, etc. Then one day after several months, I started to see little things change, then bigger things, then he wanted to get marriage counseling and the flood gates opened. He started communicating, and I started to get more background on why he did things the way he did. How much stemmed from his previous marriage and him lacking experience in an actual loving relationship. We are in a better place a year later and still continue to grow because life isn’t perfect. Relationships take so much work. I pray you find strength to either serve his lesson on what he could potentially lose or make a decision for yourself and your children. A relationship without care, effort, affection, etc is empty and hollow. Those are the things that carry you through the hard times. God bless you and your children. 
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Stop pleasing him!!! A relationship goes both ways
Start loving, caring and taking care of YOURSELF!!!
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2 bits of advice here
1- love language is a very under appreciated part of relationships. Figuring out what each other’s is and stepping up to ensure they feel loved. My husband beams when he comes home to a clean house because that effort is what makes him feel loved. That’s it! So simple. For so long I did all this other stuff to try and make him happy and while he was so grateful and always sweet about it, it really just takes some effort to make the home comfortable. Mine is hearing I am loved, he goes out of his way constantly to make sure he says sweet stuff genuinely. We are both pretty easy that way. Talk to your partner… direct and list what you need to feel loved.
2- beyond that, people show us what is important to them. If their actions do not include your happiness… your answer is clear where they stand.
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Let him go…talk is cheap…actions say it all.
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You are giving way to much. He will just keep coasting along as long as you keep carrying the load. You should have the same amount of joy in what you do. But he is not carrying his load. Don’t expect him to change , he WONT.
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Stop doing everything for him. Hes acting like another child and you are not his mother.
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If your miserable leave it sounds like the love is gone. Or you could try counseling.
Try ignoring him for a while.
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As all the comments I’ve seen are from other Mothers (I understand this is a Mamas group), I’d thought I would chime in as a Father that works full time as does the Mother of my children.
He is lazy. He needs to be doing his fair share of everything. Me and my partner are 50/50 on everything, housework, cooking, cleaning and taking care of our two daughters. We don’t live in the 1950’s anymore! There is nothing wrong with a man helping his wife/partner with household duties. Being tired isn’t an excuse when you are a parent.
If he doesn’t want to buck his ideas up and put in some effort to your relationship and at the very least make you feel loved and appreciated, then I suggest you find someone that will.
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It’s time for you to move on sis! Don’t keep hanging around!
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Stop treating him that way. He will realize and then start to question it. And when he does tell him that your putting in what he puts in. Maybe then he will see how hes in the wrong
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These boots are made for walking. Get to stepping
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2 tbings… its either over for real or hea maken you wonder… do what all other women do make him think your gone an not interested an do it for more then a few days give it a week maybe 2 if he don’t start coming around its a done deal… an trust me it’ll work or won’t… I have so much relationship advice to give I should be maken money for all the knowledge I have… I have a great relationship but my only down fall is helping out with the kids more an im working on it… they are def hard to deal with at my age… I have no patience… butbremeber no one is perfect gotta take the good with the bad in live for sure…
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STOP!!! Quit doing all this stuff for him. MAYBE. …JUST MAYBE he will wake the h__k up.
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I would say find a new man. You are taking care of literally everything from kids to bills. He may be a great dad and he can still be one just y’all won’t be in the same home or together
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Sounds like my life it gets exhausting
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Counseling could work wonders and talking about both of your love languages. It seems like he doesnt understand your love language and what it takes to make you feel loved. If he isnt even interested in changing things up to do more for you and make you feel appreciated then you have your answer
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Give him the same energy he’s giving you. Stop doing everything for him, if he notices & doesn’t change but instead feels some type of way about it don’t hesitate to tell him off! If he’s okay with you being upset but flips out when he is it’s time to kick his ass out. Love is not supposed to be miserable!
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married w 5 kids my husband is the same exact way smfh i hate it but other than that we are best friends i love him so much but at this point i dont feel valued smfh he a hardworker and a good dad but he spends his days locked in the room watchin movies or gaming i get it i game too but he completely ignores us when i do something fun w the kids he rather stay home than come spend time w us as a family
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I think you need to have a heart to heart with him. Relationships only work if both work to make the other happy. If he does not value your feelings then he doesn’t value you.
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Try doing for him as he does for you, such as birthdays and such. Don’t cook anything special etc. See if he even notices. Is he agreeable to counseling? If nothing changes with his actions, unless you do something, this is your life.
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Stop treating him like that. He is not one of the kids. So much less. See if he likes it.
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I had to leave. I was in the same situation and it wore on me mentally. Do what is best for you. There are so many more fish in the sea.
Stop all of it. Hé Will notice then
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Treat him how he treats you. If he noticed the changes, ask him how he feels about it. If he is smart he would compromise with you, but then most gamers (not all) better be alone in general or they should be with someone that loves games also. Go out with your friends, let him watch the kids. Don’t sulk, have fun. You can live without him, sounds like you are financially independent. Your kids would love to see their Momma happy.
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It sounds like he makes time for whats important to him and you’re not on that list. (Behavior speaks louder than words)You can’t change him so do whats most beneficial for you.
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Is he your child or your husband? You’re a SAHM but you pay for everything? Does he do anything? If it’s your house, I’d tell him to reevaluate whats important to him and if its not your or his family then there is no point in your relationship. My man isn’t the most romantic or spontaneous person but he makes sure I feel appreciated, loved and wanted. People make things important to them when it’s actually important to them. I hope it all works out.
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Smell the roses and get out. If not you can plan on being a very unhappy wife
Stop buying anything for the man child.
Stop doing everything for him, and that will SHOW him how much you do for him
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IMO you women you need to find you a man and leave the boys to play with the boys there’s more to relationships and adulting than video games. If your SO doesn’t put in the effort then you stop putting in the effort to make them feel like a king instead of another child. I know I’ll be blasted for this so come on I’m ready.
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Stop doing so much for him, he will notice. Another thing, you don’t have to stay with him. I hope it works out well and good luck.
Say Goodbye to him. Better off without him. Sorry, but he won’t change. Why be miserable for the rest of your life? Have some heart ache now and then be happy. There may be a beautiful man out there for you. Good luck. Please be kind to your self and your children. It’s only teaching them that a selfish relationship is ok and you know it’s not. Try all the suggestions, so you know you tried your hardest, then tell him to go and be selfish somewhere else. 
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Stop putting more effort into him than he puts into you. I also agree with stop treating him like one of the kids. He’s a grown man. He can make meals and do his laundry and contribute to the household upkeep, including bills. “I’m just not as thoughtful as you” is one lame excuse of a man who refuses to grow up. It’s not that hard to remember the birthday of your loved ones. He’s full of .
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Uhh… LEAVE…you identified the issues, presented your unhappiness to your supposed “partner”, and he expressed his opinion through his words and his actions…both of which are dismissive and flippant. You are raising four children who are looking at him as their prime example of what a man and father should be…dont send them out into the world with this horrible ideal of that role…this isnt even primarily about you anymore, as it is about your babies. Tell him to pack and go somewhere else until he can figure out how to be a proper partner to you and father to the kids…if he does well, congrats…happily ever after…if he does not, congrats, you just saved yourself years of misery and saved your kids from misery as well.
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Don’t do shit for him anymore. I promise u, he will notice u then
Leave. That’s a 5th child and likely won’t change 
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Hes come accustomed to all of that now unfortunately if your needing it it has to come from yourself
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You should leave him he’s lying to you. Do you literally see him trying? He’s gaslighting you. Kick him out. He’ll never change and you’re wasting your younger years waiting for him to see you. You would be better off alone and lonely than with him and lonely and resentful
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Man child. You’re wasting your life on a man child.
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What kinda snacks you said your kid likes? 🥲😂
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Sounds like you already know the answer! Better love and respect yourself enough to put him out and get some peace! Save them coins you’re spending on him, put him out and treat yourself to a get away! It’s all about effort and he shows none! Someone is waiting for your type of love …and will return it 2X
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Wow. Stop doing so much for him. He’s become accustomed to it! 
Start pampering yourself coz it sounds like you deserve it
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One question if you’re a stay at home mom paying majority of the bills and spending thousands of dollars, where’s the money coming from??? I’m guessing he works really hard to provide for you all and when he has time he wants to wind down and relax. So if your husband goes to work and provide for you and your family, you should be extremely grateful that he is playing video games and not out messing around. I’m sorry and I know many people will not approve of what I think, but so many people nowadays are way too demanding and ungrateful for what they do have in life.
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Tell him goodbye you deserve better than that one day he will regret the times he took you for granted…
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Simple: take a long vacation without him or kids…he’s just not into you…Only what is convenient for his needs…maybe a Change of action will make a turn about…one could only hope…
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go see his mum and get a refund that ones faulty.
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Sounds like you have a 5th child. If he wants mother send him back to his mother
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Leave, he’s a self centred jerk
If you say the house is yours then you got yourself a roommate not a partner I would ask him to start looking for another place if he cannot contribute to putting some effort into your relationship then he does not need to be there you obviously know what you want and what you deserve so don’t settle for any less
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Stop doing all these things. Especially if you think it will make him want to spend time with you or he’ll decide to randomly show appreciation. Just don’t do it. Focus on you and the kids.
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Just look after you he can fend for himself…
LEAVE ! As a woman who spent 10 years with this EXACT situation. It doesnt get better, they dont change, theres nothing you can do or did to make him that way. Dont waste anymore time . Leave or tell him to!
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Leave he will on continue to drag you down
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Sounds like a man child to me. U deserve better .
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Tell him to do one seems you have it all in hand beautiful mummy! Let him move out and enjoy his gaming else where. You deserve so much more! 
Xx
Be as thoughtful as he is!
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Try reading the 5 love languages book together or researching each others personality to bring some understanding. if still there is no change and you are still unhappy then seek alternatives.
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Your raising another child
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Has he always been like this?
The answer is very short. Ask yourself this: “This is your life. Is THIS how you want to spend it?” If the answer is no, then leave him because he will never be what you want/need. Don’t worry about the day to day, that will sort itself out. The 4 kids are not just your responsibility. Do not teach your kids that this is ok…
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Sounds like you’ve got a 5th child… Your making it too easy for him and now he just expects it. Stop doing everything for him. Make him wipe his own arse for a change, things will change quickly. Focus on you and the kids. X 
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You have allowed this to happen. No matter what he doesn’t do,you continue to do everything for him. Stop doing everything. Make him realize what he had and kick him to out.
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Free loader kick him to curb be done
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He’s a grown ass man. Only look after yourself and your kids. He can fend for himself. Don’t do everything for him you’re currently doing. Don’t buy him things, do his housework, make him dinner, nothing. He’s got it real good with you, too good if he’s not making an effort. If he’s not willing to contribute to YOUR home or help with HIS kids then show him how life could really be.
Life is too short be to be miserable, unhappy and sad. You’ve got 4 beautiful kids. Don’t let them see you like this. How they see you now will determine their future relationships. Let them see you treating yourself with the love and respect you deserve. I’m sure they’re sad and upset seeing you sad. Make your life happy and they’ll also be happy.
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Stop doing it all! He expects it now but cannot reciprocate and he may never. But I 100% would stop bending over backwards. You are sacrificing yourself and your happiness for someone who doesn’t deserve it. No I’m not saying divorce him but just stop doing the extra In every aspect.
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Maybe therapy?
Is your love language something that he is comfortable with?
Ok so my kids dad and I been together like ten years on and off. He has always been like that (even to an extreme) so if I miss fathers day or his birthday he has a tantrum (I’ve never missed them but I did make him wait a few hours those days because as a mom of 7 I got things to do too)
I do everything too plus pay his bills and mine. (Not saying this is your exact situation but this is MY experience so you get where I’m coming from) So he has lied, cheated, physically hurt me as well as threatened to kill me at times. This year he came to me (in front of our kids) and asked me to marry him (I said no so now I’m the bad guy to everyone) but all he does is use me (and men and women he cheats with) he has a baby a year older than my 5month old with another lady as well. He always blames me for everything and YET claims he is trying to do better. (For example, he let me use his phone to call our sons Dr when mine died and left it with me for 2 minutes while he drove. Said that was an example of him trusting me and that he isn’t cheating) which is bs. When he called me I literally HEARD him cheating on me while I had our kid in the hospital for an important health appt. Then he hung up quick when he realized what I heard and tried to gaslight me. I’m always crazy or “just can’t see how much (I=he) does”…You are honestly being used it sounds like and you would definitely do better by yourself. I would go file for custody of the kids, file for divorce,and do what you gotta do to set up a support system of people who care about you and the kids. You got this
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I suggest talking to him a little bit each day, when its calm and quiet and kids are sleeping…don’t overwhelm him with a lot of demands. Just talk to him a little everyday about how you would like be closer to him and you are lonely and feel he needs to step up some. You will find out if he really loves you by his response. It may be a slow frustrating journey but dont throw the towel in yet. He doesnt know how to be the man you want yet. You need to teach him and its a hard thing to train him now but im hoping you two will work it out. Pray about it and give it all you can. Sending you a hug!
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Stop making effort. Put in the same amount he does. Focus on doing things for you and do things make you happy.
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Wow he’s got it made don’t he …
YOU make all the effort so why should he? He’s gotten comfortable with being lazy. Sounds like a stale relationship. You guys need to work on communication…if you’re having trouble, seek therapy. If that doesn’t work, split up and find someone who does make you happy and makes an effort.
He does not make an effort in the relationship, or in the bills or in anything, you have a man figure to whom you solve everything, you do not leave him or demand anything, you are giving yourself away, giving without receiving anything in return, the worst of all is that you don’t love yourself and if you don’t do that for yourself, don’t expect anyone to love you or value you, ask yourself, is that what you deserve?
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Truly, if you’re doing everything, what is there left for him to do. It appears that you’ve set it up that way so now you need to stop being everything so he can begin to be something useful. You’re going to kill yourself and where does that leave the children?! It’s really up to you. God help you to take care of yourself. Praying for you 
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