I give him A+ for honesty
1 Like
He needs to make a change don’t settle
Play him at his own game, see how he likes it. Stay strong Hun x
2 Likes
The answer is in the question you have asked. Only you can answer it
say bye the first step is always the hardest but it get easyer the more steps u take . good luck
Givers gonna give and takers gonna take.
3 Likes
Sounds like he’s a spoiled…
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My husband doesn't make any effort in our relationship: Advice? - Mamas Uncut
Or better yet make him leave. Its ur house. If hes that lazy and inconsiderate then dnt bother trying to convince him to do shit for u. If he wanted to he would
15 Likes
Draw up those divorce papers and watch him squirm. He’s comfortable and thinks things won’t change. Show him differently.
19 Likes
I’d tell him goodbye, sounds like you do it all emotionally, financially, and physically anyway. he can still be a good dad from his own house
16 Likes
Stop doing all the extras for him figuring that he’ll do the same. He s showing you how he operates. Don’t try to change the game it won’t go in your favor. I doubt that he’ll even miss the extras
11 Likes
If you’re miserable and you’ve already tried to talk to him about how you’re feeling and he point blank doesn’t give a fuck then leave. Are you really going 2? Probably not. It’s all up to you. We all have our limits in a relationship. I personally won’t ever go above and beyond for someone who don’t give two fucks about my feelings. 
wish you the best 
.
3 Likes
I left my ex for that. I wasn’t a PC game so I couldn’t compete.
In the end I figured I was doing it all on my own anyhow, so may as well do it in my own new home too.
Best choice I ever made. Hard but liberating.
He’s still working on that game…
4 Likes
More than treating him like a king your treating him like a another kid of yours. You can’t make someone do something they don’t want
5 Likes
33 years I have been putting up with this. Make him leave. Now. Just because he has a job doesn’t make him a good partner. You don’t need a man to be complete. My daughter is now settling for the same shit because she watched me. You don’t want that. Trust me.
11 Likes
Get a new one, yours is broken.
6 Likes
Ask him to leave. If it doesn’t wake him up then that’s your answer.
1 Like
I get not leaving may not be a choice that you want, but you need to stop treating him like a king. Why should he change? There’s literally no consequences to his actions. He neglects you but you continue to do everything for him. So stop. You don’t have to be mean about it but just stop. Focus on yourself and your kids. You can still love him and be kind but stop bending over backwards to make him happy.
8 Likes
Kick it out and find a real man
4 Likes
Please don’t put up with this any longer you and your children deserve better. Send him back to his mama because you basically have a 5th child I was in this situation myself and my only regret was putting up with it for so long
5 Likes
It sounds like you guys have completely different love languages.
3 Likes
I’m in the same boat kinda. I do 99% of everything. I plan date nights and plan out gifts for everything. My man didn’t even tel me happy FIRST Mother’s Day till I brought it up. I love this man endlessly and I know he loves me endlessly but he really sucks as showing emotions like that. I sat him down and told him everything. I told him from here on out, what you give is what you will receive. I stopped doing all the pleasuring, all the gifts, all the house work… everything. He’s starting to do better and he realized what all I do in a day and do for him and his needs. I wouldn’t just “kick him out” or “draw up the divorce paper” till you know in your heart there is nothing to be saved.
6 Likes
How they treat you, is how they feel about you!
2 Likes
You deserve better. Your kids will definitely pick up on this if they haven’t already.
2 Likes
You don’t treat him like a king. You treat him like a kid bcs that’s what he’s acting like. If it were me…he’d have to go!
5 Likes
I just left my marriage for the same type of bs
1 Like
Stop effort on him and start doing it for yourself, once you take care of yourself and that doesn’t make him change his ways with you, then I’d think of these other options on here
1 Like
Stop doing shit for him. Mayb when he notices ur not doing anything he will start ans wonder y. And if he dowant care then throw him away
5 Likes
Get rid of the games. It should solve your problem, if not, come ask me again!!
Sometimes we don’t see their way of “trying”. I get where you’re coming from. Maybe ask if he would be up for you planning a date of some type or setting aside some time during the week at home just for adults. A board game or something. Gotta start somewhere. Not every man is perfect and leaving is not as simple as that when you have 4 children. And you may need some adult time that isn’t necessarily with your husband. Maybe that would help you too.
1 Like
Different love languages for sure.
My husband and I are the same and over time I’ve learned it’s just something I have to deal with if I want to stay with him. He’s not big into birthdays and holidays or even showing much affection in general. It really just doesn’t cross his mind like it does me. You can’t make someone more thoughtful or more romantic. You have to adapt or find someone that has the same love language as you.
1 Like
I would express your frustration with him just one on one no kids around and just start making him help with stuff. Say you do so much for him and you want to but you also want those things in return. If he doesn’t try to be better and makes no effort or does and then goes right back to his ways then I would talk about splitting up because you definitely don’t deserve to be under appreciated by him. I find though sometimes men just don’t see that they’re doing anything wrong especially with how easily you made life. Mine was the same way at first but we talked about it and it resolved the issue thankfully. Best of luck though!
Sounds like you should kick him out, divorce him, and find someone actually worth all that you have to offer
1 Like
Get rid of him. He thinks of you as a MOTHER!! You do everything for him. STOP!!
4 Likes
Tell him to get his shit together. You are his partner. HIS EQUAL. not his mum. Do not settle for less, tell him to step up or step out because life’s too short to settle for less x
2 Likes
Find someone else.you deserve to be happy
1 Like
Marriage counseling. Or leave. I left my marriage and found the love of my life.
I’d say stop coddling him , make Him step up and be a man instead of doing everything for him . It takes 2 to make a marriage work . Let him run out of clean clothes , don’t have dinner ready for him every night , don’t be so considerate with gifts and remembering him for special occasions don’t push him for sex , make him come to you . Some men don’t realize how good it is until it isn’t anymore . If all this doesn’t teach him you will have your answer . Good luck 
3 Likes
Pack his bags , last thing you do for him
2 Likes
Stop looking after a grown man. Look after you and your kids. Ok make his tea if all eat together. But all else he’s a grown up.A king deserves to be treated that way if treats you like a queen. You sound more like a servant. You’ve made it to good for him and he thinks he’s earnt it.just do you. Self care
1 Like
Good bye…life is TOO SHORT. Move on and be even more happy alone without him. And eventually find someone who matches you better.
I agree that he needs to be better to you, but before you take a strangers advise to leave your husband (and monumentally change your children’s life) maybe consider counseling or other relationship building programs.
4 Likes
Stop doing stuff for him! He’ll get the hint! And if he doesn’t, get rid of him. It isn’t worth it you doing all the work and he does nothing. He isn’t a child. He’s a grown man.
2 Likes
Try Counseling before taking advice from strangers. You already know what you need to do trust me as a women we all have that intuition of what to do . We are just scared and nervous of the outcome .
4 Likes
You’re treating him like a child. Maybe you should create a vacuum and prod him to step up. You can’t spend the rest of your life being a one man band!
Stop being thoughtful, sounds like your trying to buy his live n attention. Stop doing for him n start doing everything you wished he would do for you n do it for u, it not you it’s him, sounds like u the man here n he the women, figure out what you want , he can be a good dad at his mom’s house or the next women house that has to take care of him…
You’re miserable ? And don’t know what to do??
You are Miserable then!!!
1 Like
- Hand him his kids and go on a girls weekend!
- Stop treating him like a king and make him realize what you do for him.
- Set boundaries & expectations or he’ll continue to take from you and not give
11 Likes
Stop doing all the work.
1 Like
It’s time to stop treating him like a king. He needs to do better. He’s an adult.
3 Likes
Stop doing everything for him and see if he notices.
3 Likes
He didn’t want a wife, he wanted a mom. Stop being his mom.
8 Likes
Stop doing everything for him, he sounds like a man child, and he doesn’t appreciate you whatsoever. If he doesn’t change, leave him! 
4 Likes
Listen YOU ARE DOING TO MUCH FOR HIM !
3 Likes
You need to figure out his love language if it’s not gifts your wasting your time and he’s not feeling loved from it and it’s likely why it bothers you when you don’t get them because it probably is your love language. Since it’s not his he’s not going to show you love that way. I mean he does sound like a piece of work, but this will help tons.
2 Likes
Leave. He clearly doesn’t care or he’d make an effort. Time to find someone who values you!
I would recommend couples counseling, because girl it’s gonna make you bitter and destroy your self-worth if you let it.
That way you can communicate on even ground and it allows you both to say what you do/allows the other wide to see
What the other does without feeling attacked.
If he doesn’t want to do counseling then have you each write a list of what you do around the house, for each other etc and then compare.
After that write a list of things you want worked on, and label it cia importance. Then work towards acknowledging each other and when you see them
Improving.
It’s a lot of work and most men won’t change. But it’s always worth saying you did everything you could.
2 Likes
If you get out of that relationship it will make room for a healthy and satisfying one.
Just except him for what he is or tell him to move on.
1 Like
Just using you. He grows up or you go out forever.
When people show you how they feel, believe them.
3 Likes
Man-child quit pandering to him
How are you a stay at home mom and pay all the bills? Not trying to trash legit asking?
3 Likes
I’m confused…you are a sahm mom and pay all the bills and the house is YOURS? Evaluate that perspective. Could be the disconnect. Also explore each others love languages.
3 Likes
Sounds like he’s just using u,he can still be your kids dad but you don’t have to be with him
1 Like
From reading this, I got a headache but I agree with majority. Leaving him and finding yourself, reflecting, and understanding would be your best option. You clearly need to re-evaluate the way your were living and ask yourself if that is what you want from a man? If you want a more active partner then you need to surround yourself with more active people. Start worrying about yourself, your health, and exploring.
4 Likes
Your house. Take care of you and your kids and nothing for him. He should have to be the one to leave. When he stops getting everything maybe he will notice.
1 Like
Couples counselling. You need to have an open and honest conversation with him with the help of a professional. It sounds like you’re doing way too much for him, but it still sounds fixable. If he doesn’t want counselling though then you should tell he needs to move out. There’s no need for you to continue like this in misery
4 kids and time to game he needs to grow up and be a man shut him off and see what happens
2 Likes
Take a break from him
Girl, he only acts how you let him act! That’s your house, your kids, your life he’s supposed to be improving just to be in it. If he’s not making any effort, why would you waste your time?
3 Likes
Simply give what you get, put your efforts on yourself and your kids, workout, eat good, buy you nice things build YOU up. You can love your husband but love yourself more and focus on your mental health and he’ll catch on sooner or later
5 Likes
You are allowing this to go on. STOP.
If he’s not an EQUAL partner or bringing things to the relationship that improve life for both of you & the family, get out now and move on. You are better than this.
2 Likes
I was in the same situation with my husband, it took him leaving our 19 month old son home alone asleep in his cot for me to call it quits on our marriage…im feeling so much better about myself and it was actually a relief to finally be able to say enough is enough
2 Likes
The house is yours so BOY BYEEEEE!! Also, sell the game set up and
2 Likes
Is there a church that you attend? If so I would sit down with your pastor or if there’s a women’s ministry. And pray for him. Pray for yourself. There’s an awesome movie called War Room highly recommend and there’s a book by pastor Tony Evan’s called kingdom Marriage it is jaw dropping. I was in the same rut with my marriage and let me tell you prayer, giving it to God and attending a marriage fellowship together has worked and we are now open to working on each other through the covenant of God. Praying for you and your family
Love languages helped me and my husband. He understood more of what I actually needed in order to feel loved. Not everything is spot on, but I think it’s a good starting point. Xoxo good luck.
1 Like
My partner is LAZY and MAKES NO EFFORT. But he’s a good dad🤔. And he makes time for HIMSELF and HIS gaming🥴.
Wth??? This is like saying I HATE potatoes, but I love me some French fries, girl what??.
Could you be an enabler, & showing this man-child how to treat you. By doing EVERYTHING. Is he unemployed?
Just outta jail?Very much younger than you?? A mama’s boy??
You need to let him know if you can do so much by yourself with his lack of help or interest, you might as well be by yourself & get the hell out of your house that you’ve been maintaining without his help.
4 Likes
If you’ve already expressed your feelings on it and nothing has changed then he clearly just does not care.
4 Likes
Looks like u definitely don’t need him if you are a sahm and can pay all the bills plus owning a house too 
1 Like
Get a different partner.
3 Likes
But u let him do it 
Stop it……
2 Likes
Why do you need this manchild dragging you down?
4 Likes
quit dealing with him and just focus on the kids…he can fend for himself. He needs to start taking care of you!
You will have to weigh the pros and cons. First and foremost do you love him? Can live without him on a daily basis? Will you miss him if he leaves? How long have you been together? Was your time together always like this or just now? Sometimes men hear women talking but they aren’t really listening. Maybe before you throw him out you should write him a note with everything you need to be happy he will see it read and then he might understand what you need from him. Also try this make him sit across from you then you both get a piece a paper and pencil You both write all the things you like about each other and then the things you do not like . Then switch list work on the stuff you do not like about each other. Good luck and God bless you both.
2 Likes
focus on your kids and kick him to the curb. this is the example he is setting for your kids. SMH.
1 Like
give him a 30 day eviction notice and tell him toodles biac*
why take care of another’s child when you have your own to take care of
1 Like
Forget his birthday .
Treat him how he treats you and see if he wakes up . It Seems like he is spoilt and takes you for granted . Men don’t listen to complaints but they do react to actions . Make him feel how u feel .
4 Likes
Leave your taking care of him instead of a 50/50 relationship
He is not a good dad if that’s how it is. What kind of example is he setting for your kids think about that
He’s a man child. Make him pay half of everything and do half of the chores. If he can’t do that, he’s got to go and pay child support.
Don’t make any effort with sex ,don’t follow him or talk treat him like a child and re train him. He is getting away with it why would he change.don’t accept bad behaviour.
3 Likes
Time to leave, wait it’s your house, tell him to leave
1 Like
Lose the idiot u dont need him
1 Like
People treat you how you allow them to. He’s totally a bad example for your boys if you have any and your a bad example to your girls if you have any. They will find a man just like you have. Get rid of him.
4 Likes
Treat him as an equal. Let him buy his own clothes. Ask him to make dinner. You’re his wife, not his mom and his behaviors are a reflection of the family dynamic that is currently working in your house. Maybe these things will help. Try couples counseling also. Good luck.
1 Like
Been in the same boat for too many years except I work… just make him leave! He’s wasting your precious time!
Why would he do anything if you do it all? Stop immediately, tell him exactly what you want…ask what his plans are for your upcoming birthday or holiday. If he still doesn’t get it then don’t waste your time. He makes time for gaming!! SMH
1 Like
Y’all are married right and have kids don’t just up and leave him because you feel certain way the kids need him also your other mistake is you said my house if that’s the way you feel then he shouldn’t even need to be there an imagine how he feels when you say that this is my house