I want one more but my Husband doesn’t. So you know what I took his feelings into consideration and decided that our two boys are enough. We won’t try again even if more financially sound we are getting older
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Some people can’t even have a child. You’re upset because he doesn’t want more!! Be blessed with what you have. What concerns me more is you didn’t list the reason. Is he unhappy in the marriage. Is having a child and the responsibility and state of our country stressing him out? If he has clearly stated why he doesn’t want more kids, maybe find a way to work with kids in need. There’s so many kids that could benefit from a big sister/role model that has love to give.
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Honestly we can all give opinions but you didnt give us enough details. Is his reason a financial one? Adding diaper, daycare etc is very costly. Maybe he feels the family dynamic is just right. From your post it doesnt sound like he doesn’t want to be a dad, just that he doesn’t want another. In your post you put your 50/50 on it so your not even sure you want another. I would have a calm conversation with pros and cons, ways it will change your life etc and find out his exact reasoning.
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There is a reason he doesnt want amy more children. And props to him for communicating that. Betraying his trust and getting pregnant on purpose would not only IN MY OPION ruin your marriage but also the bo d between child and dad. Hes going to resent the child he never wanted.
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Honestly I got pregnant for my daughter and my husband didn’t want anymore children he was pretty upset but once he seen her sono his hole mind set changed
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My husband didn’t want anymore and the. When my son was three he asked. We had said we will talk about it in six months…found out I was pregnant three weeks later. My third he didn’t want, I was on BC when I got pregnant. I can’t have anymore kids now. Made sure of it plus almost lost the last one so I’m good. But it’s best to wait it out. The thought is scary of adding
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I saw a few people had this great answer. Tell him that’s fine, and he can get a vasectomy. He’s the one who doesnt want any more children. If, God forbid, something were to happen and he was no longer there, you will still have the option to conceive.
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I feel your pain. I have 1 amazing child. I want one more. I’d give my left foot to have another baby. Literally. My husband is good with just 1 child and mainly worries about money having another. Ive cried and cried over it. My desire for one is so strong it’s hard for me to even be happy when a friend or family member gets pregnant. My husband and I decided to foster. And if adoption becomes an option one day we are open to it. (Adoption of a little older, not baby, to eliminate daycare)
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I didn’t want anymore kids but my husband wanted two more (I already have mine, his stepson). I finally warmed up to the idea but compromised and said we could have one more. Mainly because I hate being pregnant. This compromise worked for us. He would then joke that he hoped I got pregnant with twins…now I’m pregnant with twins 
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Sit down and find out why he’s so against it. Get all the reasons he says no and then list all the reasons you say yes. See if you can’t work out a compromise
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I told my husband one more baby and then I’ll tie my tubes he was agreeable and he absolutely adores our son
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My husband didn’t want anymore either. We have one of each. And decided that was it. But I always dreamed of having three since I was a little girl. If my pregnancies were easier I have more than three… but I have super difficult pregnancies. Well I told him how I felt, and I’m now 32 weeks along with our third and 2nd little girl. We r both very excited now. He spends a lot of nights just talking to my stomach in bed. Tell him how U feel and why u want more kids.
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You have 2 choices. Leave and find someone that wants what you want, because this should have been discussed before getting married, or…wait a while and hope he changes his mind.
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Ask yourself if you want to have a child with a father who doesn’t want to be a dad. Might consider the importance to you, and make a choice to stay or go.
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That is a difficult situation for anyone to give you advice on.
My husband is an incredible father…but he doesn’t want to have anymore, whereas I’d love to…I’m thankful for the 2 I have…so i let it go.
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I say if your able to continue and get more birth control do that for now. He may change his mind later down the road then u can always have it removed and try from there. Dont push him if hes not ready right now. But Ana Rose did make a good point also about would u wana have a child with someone who dont wana be a dad. If hes really set on not having more kids and u want more id say end it and find someone who would want kids like u do. Bc if u force it he can up and ditch u and u will be stuck raising kids alone and no dad. But i say just continue birth control for now and see later on what he decides if still nothing then move on.
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Raising a family takes both parents. He could beacome very resentful, so much so you could end up a single parent. Just be thankful for the child/children you have and a husband that is honest. Be supportive. 
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I wouldnt rush the conversation just because your birth control is expiring. Having children can not be taken lightly and everyone should agree. It his sperm just like it’s your body. If the roles were reversed and he was wanting to control your womb it wouldn’t be okay. Don’t push it and start to wrap your head around the idea of not having anymore children.
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My husband was the same. However i told him if he wouldnt even consider it that we would have to have a serious conversation about our future. My husbands reason was he wanted to be able to give our son everything. I told him people don’t regret having another kid they regret not having another. I just gave birth to our second son. And my husband is overjoyed. Hes like i can’t believe i was so against another child for so long.
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I’d never want an only child. I have 3 so it’s nice they can play together. My friends with only 1 kid really struggled during COVID bc he had no one to play with n they where working from home. She can’t have more due to medical issues but she said if anything this made her wish for another so much! 
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I always wanted more than my one but when I met my husband who’s a lot older than me he said he didn’t want any. I love him dearly and chose love. I don’t regret it. And as my daughter got older she said she was happy being an only child.
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If you only have one consider this. My adult daughter is an only child. She wishes she had a sibling. When she thinks our the eventuality of my death, she thinks it would be easier with someone else to share it with. She is not close to her father so when I’m gone she’ll have no one. 
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Easy, u tell ur hubby ur on birth control. Then when he finishes, and you are prego, just say the birth control didnt work and that u dont believe in abortion.
Come on this one is so easy to figure out. 
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Either deal with it or leave him. Those are pretty much your only options. If he doesn’t want another one then be doesn’t want another one. His consent is just as important as yours.
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If both don’t agree, you don’t have another child.
It’s a huge mistake. Please don’t do it.
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I advised my husband my BC will be removed in December of this year after 6 long years of being on BC. I let him know I have no intentions to prevant preganancy and will not be taking any extra precautions or pills. Let him know if he had an issue than he could use condoms or get snipped but I would no longer put my body through it any longer. Before we got married he wanted no children at all. He still says he is not ready but we had a conversation that if and when it does happen that we would be becoming parents. Put the responsibility back on him most guys will get lazy and not want to use a condom anyways. Good luck girl♡
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My finance didnt want kids when we first got together and once a year we would have a talk and one year he changed his mind and decided he wanted one and we started trying and we now have a beautiful little girl that’s almost 11 months old and now we talking about having a another start trying in a few months. It’s all in talk and not fight being understand. Dont make it a constant talk cause then you start fighting and resisting each other just bring it up every once in awhile and touch basics
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My husband was adamant on no more babies after our daughter was born. She was 3 when I had the discussion with him about giving her a little brother or sister. A lifetime friend for her to have. He still wasn’t budging. Well… I ovulated a week earlier than my regular schedule & ended up pregnant with our now 8.5 month old son. My husband was not happy with my positive pregnancy test. I was thrilled. Long story short… he is over the moon with both of our children & regrets not wanting a 2nd child. Our family is now complete. God is in control. If it’s meant to be then it’s meant to be. Of course my situation is not yours so your husband may not be as accepting if you get pregnant with a 2nd baby. All I can say is, make sure he knows your wishes & take things day by day. If you do get pregnant again & he treats you badly because of it… then you know that he isn’t the man for you. For those stating this should have been discussed before marriage… understand that people change over time & so do their wants in life. Each marriage is not an open & closed book. It’s an adventure lived together & although it’s not always pleasant & fun… if your meant to be together… you both will figure out a way to be happy. Or you won’t & life goes on anyways. So take the path that best suits you & your wants. Live with no regrets.
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Few questions … how long have you been married?
Has he always not wanted kids?
Is having a kids a must to you?
Is he willing to meet u in the middle? Maybe 1 kid?
If not and you want your own kids you may have to move on… unfortunately
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I wanted more. He didn’t. I got my tubes tied. We have 3 and i understood all of his reasons for not wanting more but desperately wanted another myself. In the end, I wanted my marriage to work more than I wanted another baby… I feel if I would have had more it would have ruined us… 🤷
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I’d start looking into sperm donors, but let him know that he would in no way be responsible for this child. And don’t put his last name for baby, but your maiden name instead. It’s disgusting when people think that just because they’re married that they can trick their husbands into impregnating them. This way, you’re respecting his decision. Just because he’s done having kids doesn’t mean you have to be.
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I’m an only child, please try to convince him to have at least 1 more.
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Pray for God to change your heart or his, whichever it is supposed to be. That is what I did, and we didn’t have anymore. I continually to pray for my husband, we have been happy for 21 years.
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Whatever you do, don’t force it. It will kill your relationship. Don’t get pregnant without his consent. Move on if you have to.
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I knew someone who wanted a child and her man didn’t…it never worked out for them, she had that baby though 
Tough situation to be in…you really need to consider what you want more…he may change…he may not…I hope w.e choice you make leads you to happiness 
Us women work things out on a biological clock. Men work on a financial clock. If he’s not making the kind of money he wants to be making rn it would be understandable why he doesn’t want anymore. Perhaps he’ll change his mind if he got a raise?
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Well once the BC is removed the rest is up to your husband. Most married men get a bit ‘laxed when they have to be responsible for the birth control after a while. No need to keep bringing it up. Let nature do its thing.
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As an only child, i never regretted not having a sibling, however as my parents get older it does hit me that onc they are gone, that part of my life is also. I always knew id have more than one, simply because I didnt want them to be alone if something happen. Perhaps this is a way of breaching the topic from a new angle.
I would wait until it’s settled down a bit though, especially if it’s still a sore topic atm
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We never wanted kids. Neither of us… but now we have 5. They were all birth control fails too. It has been chaotic and stressful at times but we never took it out on each other or the kids and neither of us could imagine not having them even though we never wanted kids initially. Our youngest just turned two and our oldest will be 11 in a few days. Having another kid is one of those things that you just really need to be on the same page as each other with. One of you may change your mind or neither of you will but pushing the issue will push him away emotionally and that’s not the way you want to go about a relationship because then you will both resent each other and if an “oopsie” occurs the resentment will be ever more so
I would love to have a third child. Sometimes, it feels like my body aches for a third. But I almost died having my son, and I was incredibly sick after after having my daughter. My husband and I chose for him to have a vasectomy, and, while I irrationally wish we could have had one more, I love, love, love our little family. How could I ever leave my babies motherless in pursuit of a third child? When the thought of a third creeps up, I just try to focus on how happy, perfect, abd wonderful our two existing children are
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I reeeeeeealy wanted one more after my 3rd. ( 2 with previous relationship that were 19 months apart and 1 from my current relations ship) when my most recent was born my older girls were 6 and 7. My guy didn’t want another and I pushed it for about 3-4 years lots of fights and tears. I wanted my littlest to enjoy a close sibling like her older sisters ( I think my guy was too nervous to have a 4th daughter lol) we never did. I feel a little better with it now ( youngest is 8 ) I still have regrets but last several years he has had some also. Wishing he gave the youngest a sibling closer to her age. Maybe seek a counselor and look at pros and cons and dig deep on all aspects.
Same here but reversed. I have raised my 2 kids alone completely. Now he thinks he might b ready to b a father so I’m supposed to start over. I’m anemic n disabled. I literally almost bled to death during both deliveries which I did alone with 2 pregnancies alone. I’m not doin it again. We all have our valid reasons. Find out his.
Having a child is a couple’s decision. Be sure having a baby is the real issue, or is having a baby what you argue about instead of the primary problem in your relationship.
Do not have a child if both of you are not excited and want a baby. Do not have a child if you are both not willing to be parents. It’s not your baby.
This is a deal breaker in a relationship. This is not a power struggle issue.
If you can’t uncover the primary problem in your relationship go to counseling…don’t stop after 3 sessions. Pay. Keep going.
Therapy is cheaper than a lawyer. An unwanted child should never pay the cost of your relationship problems.
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Don’t get pregnant or he’ll resent you and the baby and all the extra financial troubles too.
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Was it discussed b4 you were married about how many children u both wanted? He could change his mind later. maybe hold off unless there’s a medical reason for needing to have another soon. Give it a year or 2 and bring it up again.
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I’d stop bringing it up or change the subject if someone else brings it up…kids are expensive and are a big responsibility… my husband only wanted 1 I wanted 6… we thought we were done after 2 and 5 years later found out we were expecting #3 out of nowhere and after trying for 2 years… give him time
Dont force it cuz what if he resents you and if your marriage is awesome, Why risks all that for a baby. Sending prayers 
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It was a huge issue for my husband and I. I was worried I would resent him if we didn’t have another. He never gave in. I learned to move on and live with it. Tell him you will never regret having another child. It is so hard having different life plans than the person you love. Someone will have to bend.
Let it rest for now. You have a little time. See how you feel in 6 months. Another course of contraception after 9 months. I had my last baby at 41. He’s been a great kid. 24 now.
Did you have a discussion about this before you got married? Is it financially difficult to have another? What are his reasons…really listen and read between the lines. Marriage is all about compromise and negotiating. Will he resent the child he does not want? That would be hell for the child.
If he adamantly does not want anymore he should get a vasectomy so you don’t have to be responsible for the bc.
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I say if you want it let him know how much it means to you. I waited and waited cuz I was strung along. 10yrs later I left him then met another who said they wanted to have kids and then it’s one thing after another, not enough money not the right home blahblah. Now 5 years later I sit at 39 probably passed up my chance to have another one and I’m bitter I did what others wanted. Its your life it’s a hard situation too I’ll pray for you
That’s a tough one because if you are really set on a second but don’t because he doesn’t want a second you will end up resenting him. However if you do get pregnant he may end up resenting you and/or the child.
Take your time. I kept hearing my husband the same thing. No more no more. So I got him an appt for a vasectomy since we were done even though I did want another one. He got it done. Almost one year to the day we were talking about it and he said “ I would have had another one.” A little late now.
I’m content now with how many we have.
Seriously
If he doesn’t want another child then I guess you are only having one
If you deceive him to get pregnant you deserve what you get, likely a divorce
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I feel like wanting kids is a big deal and if i want more and you don’t there’s nothing more to discuss. We’re not on the same page and that’s a non negotiable for me.
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Well I am in that boat. I stopped bc. I figure if he doesn’t want more he can use a condom. I don’t address the subject at all, until last month when I didn’t have a cycle. He stressed but I took a test and am not pregnant. He promised to not get snipped until I say okay, but I want one more so he says maybe in a few years. He wants me to not want any more but I want one more. Its been 6 months since we talked about it, until last month.
Don’t have a baby with a man Who doesn’t want one. If the baby is more important than him then I guess you need to leave him and go have another baby with somebody else.
Y’all should’ve been figured that out. If he doesn’t want another child you can’t force him. Looks like a 75% no to me. You might change your mind too.
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Definitely drop it and take him seriously if you truly love him. He may come round eventually. You have one child together already which is a beautiful thing.
Why do I feel like you’re gonna trick him and tell him you’re on birth control but really not be just to have another baby?
I don’t even understand why people would rather post questions like this to Facebook instead of having a serious conversation with (in this case) their spouse.
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If it were me and I wasn’t fixed I leave my husband cause kids are more important
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You can’t force a baby on him, if your core values are that different, maybe it’s time to have a real discussion on this marriage. If you love him and want to be with him and can live with no more kids then that’s great if not, you may need to find a new husband who wants what you want
Agree or don’t have another. Don’t know what your family situation is now but this might’ve should’ve been talked out along time ago
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Well my husband didn’t want another one , I had 2 more , the second one we spend 9 month now not talking to each other , when I give birth that baby come out looking just like him , now he loves him more than anything, and we got a 3 rd one 
, if you want another have another 
they will fall in love with it trust me ,
My husband was strict on only 2 kids… after my last after 3 years I brought it up again and he finally decided yes if this is our last one tho. I said well yes 3 is plenty for me. I wanted to try for a girl we have two boys.
Do we agreed finally and im pennant with our girl. He is so happy i never thought he would be this excited .
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My husband and I said 2-3 kids before we got married. After we had our first (and he wasn’t an easy baby 
) my husband started with the “one and done” nonsense. I told him that was not going to happen. I could agree to stop at two kids, but not giving my son a sibling was not an option for me. After having our second son (who was a super easy, happy baby) my husband actually suggested having a third 
We ended up stopping at two.
God only gave me one son with my ex. My current husband doesn’t want children. I wanted to have more but it never happened.
I mean the only thing u can do is have a conversation about why he doesn’t and why u do and go from.there…but u have to go into open minded because if ur going In thinking its ur way no matter what things won’t go good!
I would tell him if he’s that set it’s his turn to take care of the birth control now and get his vasectomy done, if he goes through with the vasectomy then you’ll know it’s that important if not then he knows your not on birth control and nature can take it’s course…
See, I have two kids from a previous relationship. My husband and o just had a baby in January and as he grows and progresses, I want Another baby with my HUSBAND. It would be amazing, however, our parents are elderly and we can just afford the kids we have. Unless I have my husbands complete blessing to have another, we won’t.
How many kids do you have? Were pregnancies rough? Finances ok? Spacing on ages? Are y’all healthy? Don’t go off BC without telling him.
I had a very traumatic miscarriage at 18 and was in a terrible marriage I figured I would never have any children. I was smart enough to know that first marriage would be no place for a child psychologically. So I didn’t have any. Then that marriage ended and I met someone else and I agreed to 1 child zip, period, end of discussion. To make a long happy story short, our 3rd child was a complete shock and a joy and I consider him my extra gift from God sent from the traumatic miscarriage
Wait until he’s ready. Quit pushing it and let him feel ready for more on his own. A lot can change in 9 months.
Having a kid should be a mutual decision.
You say you are unsure. Why do you want more? Exactly why.
Why doesn’t he want more? Exactly why.
It seems odd to fight about something you are unsure about.
My husband & I agreed to have 4 before we got married. A few months ago, he said two was enough & he didn’t want anymore. 6 weeks ago, I had to tell him baby #3 is on the way. He is very upset & angry. Now, I feel all alone. He feels as if I did this on purpose (Which isn’t the case. I had to use fertility drugs to conceive our other two). A kid should have a sibling to grow up with though (my opinion, take it with a grain of salt). I’m glad my husband allowed that at least.
I had my mind set that I only wanted one and my husband convinced me by explaining how lonely our son will be with no siblings, that when we’re gone they’ll at least have each other… And bam I am now currently pregnant with our second.
This is a decision that should be made between the 2 of you. Or be prepared to raise the kids on your own. Did you talk about it before you married? What is his reasons for not wanting another child?
If all you are talking about is what you want, but not WHY… thats the problem. Gotta get to the root of that before you go in either direction.
Im in a similar situation. Husband use to say we couldn’t afford another or our house was too small… We got better jobs and planned a move i asked when he wanted to try he said he didn’t that 5 was enough we hd 3 the other 2 we adopted (but couldnt afford to have another bio before) had i known the truth years ago (our baby is 8) i would have left
This world feels so crazy right now with all that’s going on. People are stressed. Maybe that’s partial reasoning for him wanting to hold off? Maybe he feels content and blessed with what he already has. I mean— I wouldn’t be a wife to leave my husband over him not wanting any more kids. Not sure what you could really “do” about this situation… you definitely don’t want to force the idea on him.
We decided to opt out. I wanted to with second marriage but would my kids feel slighted would his? And then we want to travel and they are all in the same age bracket. As this decision was for us…It’s such a personal decision. Take a piece a paper and discuss the pros and cons. I’m glad they are all in college and now I get to spend time alone with him. Good luck. Don’t fight tho put your concerns on the table❤
You can’t force him and shouldn’t. It makes me really upset when I hear people say to just do it anyway or talk him into it. It’s not which vacation you book, it’s a whole, brand new, person. It’s unfair to make him do it.
That being said…I wasn’t done and my husband got a vasectomy. Now I’m done. Him booking the appointment proved to me how serious he was against another so we don’t have any more.
My husband only wanted two children the one we have I felt some type of way for years because I always wanted a bigger family my children always asked for another sibling and I’m blessed to say I have another on the way we havnt come eye to eye but the other two were never pla ned which meant I never really had a choice just because he doesn’t want a child doesnt mean you shouldn’t have one it’s your body and I’m pretty sure if hes a great dad he will get off his high horse and do what he got to do time to get off birth control BABY and you dont even have to tell him your off like I said your body your choice we deal with the most Good luck to you and yours
My husband said nomore after the 1st then the 2nd happend then he said no more 2 years later he asked me if we can have another bc i wanted a girl and had only boys. Well it took awhile but I got pregnant and had another boy he said he’s done even tho I never got my girl he got a vasectomy bc i told him if hes done then he can take care of it im not gonna tie my tubes when I’m not the one who’s done. So its been a few months and I feel like im done theres 3 of them and they are pulling my attention every which way. Im happy with 3 its compromise. Thats what marriage is !
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I feel like the weighted opinion should go with the person who doesn’t want to have another. If that isn’t something that can be accepted then maybe rethink your relationship. Getting into another relationship doesn’t necessarily mean you are going to get the other child you want either.
Why would you want more kids? 
Just kidding you need to do some soul-searching and decide if this is a deal breaker for you. He may change his mind in a year or two, or you might. But once you get to that point, if you absolutely HAVE to have another kid, and he absolutely WON’T, then you’re probably not a compatible couple anyway, and I recommend parting ways before it gets resentful or toxic. But if you or he change your mind or aren’t dead set on having/not having a baby, then you can probably work it out if there are no underlying issues.
I would personally wait to see how the pandemic and the worsening unrest in this country turns out. I worry about my 15 mo old grandchild…what world will she have to grow up in?
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Same here, I’m 35 he’s 40. We have one child. I want my son to have a sibling, we have hardly no family. My husband has no family. I always wanted at least 2 kids and before we were married thats what we always said. It seems unfair for him to change his mind.
Its a cruel world to bring another child into,but that’s just me.
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My husband got fixed, i wanted another child and he knew that…hoping one day we will adopt.
If I was in your position I would leave my husband and wish him the absolute best. I can always find a different husband, but I can only bare children for a set amount of years. Something this big would simply make us 100% incompatible. What a hassle though. I’m not married yet and for anyone else like me let’s remember to talk to our future husbands about our career goals, family structure goals, etc before we get married lol.
I am 1 and done. I am also single mom. I would let it go for bit he may change his mind later down the road.
As much as you want another child, it has to be a choice the to you make together. You do not want a child brought into this world knowing that their parent resents them.
It’s important for your other child to have another child to give him or her a sibling. My son is a only child and I would do anything to change that.
I had the same fight with husband, after have one child I wanted another one, that’s just one reason he’s an ex husband
Tell him to put on his big boy panties and buck up lol 2 kids is totally worth it. You got a buddy for life.
My husband did not want another child at all and I want 2 more… I planned to get pregnant without my husband permission.Luckily I got pregnant !!! . he will be 3 years old next week and my husband loves him so dearly… I don’t have any regret for doing it … We love him Very very much, he is our best gift ever !!!
First mistake was not discussing this and having a plan before getting married. If he is 100% sure he wants NO MORE…and you are 100% intent on having another…call it now. If you can comfortably compromise and have only the one child, you have no problem. Obviously, that is not the case and you do, in fact, have a problem. Is your love for your husband and respect for the vows you took still stronger than your want for another child? If not…CALL IT or you will end up resenting him. Better to build a happier life than to remain in one where you end up with hate. JUST MY OPINION!!! Anyone who does not agree or has something negative to say…Don’t…just don’t.
Look up info for him, about bc, health complications,reactions to, and YOUR choice to be natural or humanly synthetic.
I was in this position, but stayed on my birth control and we were cautious other ways… I guess God took care of it for us because despite efforts, we got pregnant in November. Then, once he accepted we were having another, all he could say was “we should have done this sooner so the boys can be closer together.” 
LOL!