Nobody comes before your mother
That’s your mother !!! You only get one!!! I lost mine at age 63to cancer in January. I miss her every day!!
As someone who just lost their mother, I can say this, take in your sick mother.
I just lost my Mom this year after she lived with us for 12 yrs…My husband never once complained…
We kind of need to know why he don’t won’t her to move in
If she is toxic then nursing home if not then new husband
If your husband can’t accept your mom then it’s time to find a new husband 🤷
I dk about yall but if it was my mom to bad for him bc i would never not take care of my mother . she raised me and birthed me and taught me how to be a strong independent mom too so if he didnt like it too bad . but im lucky me and my husband get along great with each others moms so i dont think he would ever tell me no
Does he have a reason? Do they not get along?
It’s your mother! Remember when you were just a small little girl who was there for you? And now that you have your own family who was there for u? Your mother! No one can ever replace that
Throw the whole husband away.
Thats sad…he needs a whack to wake up!
I understand him. Do you have brothers that could take her in? Or maybe a separate living area for her
You only get 1 mom, but nothing guarantees he will stick around. She didn’t give up on you as a child, why would you give up on her when she needs you?
Check into assisted living. Medicaid will often pay for it. It is not always best for everyone to have a parent move in but to find an arrangement where you can help and support them without moving them in. For me it was a disaster to move in with my daughter, but waste. Living has worked out well. There are also programs that can get them help in their home.
Kick your husband out. You only have your Mother for so long, you need to take care of her.
Get rid of the husband!! Your mom would come before him if it was other way around hed do that to u. I feel my mom raised me did all she could do n if she was to get sick and need me I’d 10000% pick her over my hubs. But he wouldn’t be a jerk like that
Honestly, it depends on the person your mother is. If she isn’t a good person, I wouldn’t want her in my home either.
Ask him how he’d feel about it if it was his mother. I wish mine was still alive to move in with me
My moms mom moved in with her and my dad in March and she moved out in may. Because it wasn’t going her way and this is after they drove all the way from Oklahoma to Washington state and back to get her! She didn’t pay for anything besides her cigarettes and she’s on full time oxygen
It’s your mother u will never get another if he cnt take in your mother find a nother man who will love your mother, surprisingly he will break up ur marriage if you cannot take in his mother , your mother or u quit the marriage
You move in with your mother he won’t be long coming round you only have one mother look after her ,if it was his mother you’d have no choice .
Your mother put you first (assumption, as most mothers SHOULD). When they get old and ill it’s our turn to do the same. He shouldn’t put you in this situation -especially- being an only child. Obviously you’re all she’s got. You will regret it if you don’t, and he’s a dick for putting you in that predicament.
I wish I had let my mum stay with us she’s gone now
to bad for ur husband…thats ur mom…if my husband said that to me than I would tell him to leave…how rude is that, he should be there for you…
Throw the whole man away and take care of your momma…
Throw away the whole husband
I would have to pick my mom!! Thankfully I’d never have to make that choice!
Who tf cares what HE wants. Thats your mom who birthed and raised you. She probably would let u guys move in if you needed to. Let her move in.
Tell him to suck it up. Thats your mother and if she needs to be taken care of, and your able to do it, he should support that. Any good husband would support that
Bet if he needed to live with ur mom for health reasons and no other choice he would.
Wish my mom was still here she would always be welcome @ my home
Are you kidding me you really that your mom
Is these the same page? Why do I have two of the same exact page liked??
I know someone that moved her mom in against her husband’s wishes, living together went great until her mom and husband started having an affair, it didn’t happen right away but eventually that was the outcome. Hubby was closer to moms age. Just be careful if you chose to go against his wishes. Also my hubby mom has lived with us off and on for a few years. Its always a nightmare living with her
Kick the husband to the curb
Mom!!! Husbands are disposable lol just kidding they are very hard to come by…
Kick him out and move her in:rofl: seriously though if your mother’s health is declining she more important
Family first mom needs you how would you have felt if she has pushed you aside when you needed hur
Pack his bags and wish him well.
Then dump him n move with your mom, what a idiot you got for a husdand
It depends on who your mom is as a person & their relationship. If she’s always had a bad relationship with him or if she’s just not a nice person I’m on his side.
would u let ur MIL move in?
Tell him to move out then💁♀️
You can always get a new husband but you only have one mum in this world
I took my mom is she is now 76 it’s hard trust me she get in my business and takes my side which not always good but in the end you don’t wanna hate your husband I you don’t cus you are the daughter and I am to and that is our job to take care of our mother god bless you
Your mother took care of you when you were young. It’s time for you to be there for her. My Mom has passed. I would do anythng to have her back. I miss her terribly.
Did you guess talk about this before you got married? How does everyone get along with each other?
How is their relationship is there a reason he does not want to live with her. Is there a way to turn part of your house into her wing or build a in law house in back
Talk it out find a middle ground
Um it’s your husband’s house too? He has every right to say no he doesn’t want her moving into a house that’s his too. How would you feel if it was HIS mom and he kept insisting after you said you weren’t comfortable? Hire somebody to live with her or have her stay somewhere she can get care. It’s extremely unfair to force this on your husband if he already expressed he doesn’t want her moving in
If it was his mother ???
Ask him what if it was his mom
He be packing his bags he ever told me my mother whose Health wasn’t in good shape couldn’t move in with me
That’s your mom you only get 1 mom I lost my mom over 7 years ago and she lived with me for a little over 5 years before she passed and my hubby had no issue with it I’m glad I had that time with her and my daughter had time with her and special memories with her grandma if you don’t move her in you will have big regret you’ll have to live with if your husband truly truly loved and cared for you he’d have no question about letting her live with you … you might have to throw the man out but I’d definitely be talking to him and telling him that’s your mom and you want her to move in so you can help take care of her and that he should respect that yes he’s your husband but that’s your mother and he shouldn’t be putting you in a position to chose like that
I mean I wouldn’t be thrilled either. Why does she need to live with y’all? You both need to sit and talk about rules and boundaries to talk to her about. Ease his mind.
coming from someone who lost their dad 2 years ago, i’d give anything for that man to be able to live under my roof. your husband needs to get a grip and realize she is your MOTHER and you’re her only child. i wouldn’t send her to assisted living. i’d kick him the fuck out and bring her in.
Is there a reason why he doesn’t do they get on. Can you go to her place and help her everyday.
You should find out what his reasons are for not wanting her to move in, then ask him if they would be good enough reasons for him if you didn’t want his mom to move in. Also, maybe talk to him about having boundaries with her moving in. What he is and isn’t ok with… its all about compromise. One person’s wants, needs and feelings isn’t more important than the others.
I’d give anything to have the chance to take care of my elderly mother. Unfortunately she was taken from me a week after my 21st birthday. Tough situation but you should stick with your mom, no debate there.
I think it’s awfully funny that all these women saying kick him out, get a new husband ect Are the same women that had no problem in another post telling the woman to stand her ground about her husband wanting to move his mom in and she didn’t want that. So what it only works one way now? Double standard much? If it’s totally cool for her to tell him no then I think it works both ways y’all basically attacked me Because I pointed out that you only get one mom and maybe just maybe he should be aloud to take care of her if he wants to BUT now In this scenario it’s the woman that wants her mom to move in and the man saying no and suddenly y’all are screaming a whole different tune
The fact that you forgot to mention why says enough for me. I have a monster in law too, I don’t care how bad her health gets, no thanks!
Mom vs husband if u are being made to choose and u are close to your mom I’d move her in no question.
If not a good relationship then a proper discussion needs be done you and hubby then you both with mom
Also it’s not mentioned
What’s his reasons to say no?
Are they valid?
Just need to determine
How can you resolve the core issue to have a good outcome for all?
I’d pick my mom ova any man being hubby or not but that’s just my opinion u only get 1 mom.
Good luck chik. Go with ur heart.
Here is what you say… Right now is not the best time to be sticking my mother in a home. Not only will I not be able to visit her. I wont be able to hug her. I will watch my Mom slowly wither away and die thru glass. She will become depressed and withdrawn. And you dont have enough faith in strangers right now to care for her. Especially when visits arent allowed.
Hubby says you only have one mom. Get a pop-up camper and put hubby in there…
I wish my mother-in-law was still here to be forced to have her stay with us.
Get rid of your husband…your Mom has always been there since birth
Take care of your mom she took care of you
I think it depends on his relationship with your mom. My parents is going through this now. My grandmother (my dad’s mom) is living with them. She has always been toxic due to her mental illness and always had it out for my mom. She is making my mom miserable and causing my parents to fight. Not good. My dad is an only child too.
Living with a parent in law is never good. Ive done it for her health reasons but Ill tell you, it was a mess and do not recommend.
My mom is a bitch, so I’d side with the hubby. I’d side with him any way due to the fact that you married him and not her and she is 63 and should know how to get into assisted living if she’s that bad off.
It may not be easy but her time here is less then yours. You only have one mom
Do you have brothers that can take your mother, there has to be a reason why he doesnt want her living with you, and you also have to remember it’s his house too,
Your mom only has you, that should be your answer I would never choose a man over my parents I would sit down and have a talk with your hubby, he should understand the situation.
I took my mother in-law into live with us and stayed for 14 years and loved it we were a farming family and that’s what you did she lived till she was 96 would do it again
oh geez… id take my momma in a heart beat. if she were still alive my mom was my everything regardless if i had a husband and he didnt like the idea of my momma moving in … he knows where the door is…
Ask him what he wud do if it was his mother ? I know what I wud do
Why does your husband object. Do they not get along. You and him need to talk more and remember marriage is 50/50 for better or worse. Your mom could help with food or rent etc. Hope he comes around. Me and my siblings took turns staying at my moms house. Me 2 nights and down the line. Had a person come in during the day for meals and light cleaning.
I hate to break it *to all of you who are commenting things such as she’s your mom , she loved and took care of you, would take you in etc - are so many of us really that naive? That does NOT describe everyone’s mother!
Maybe this mother is toxic ?? many children of horrible mothers are desperately seeking their approval as adults still. Plus we don’t even know if this person is really ill , health not being so good could mean a lot of things like maybe she has a bum knee or sits around smoking all day , and is lazy and wants someone to wait on her hand and foot while she ruins her daughters marriage for example🤷♀️ A lot of 63 year olds are still working and running circles around their kids. It’s not a fragile or frail age, generally speaking so why assume she’s on her death bed. And I lost my dad in his late 50s who I took care so I get there are actual terminally ill parents out there but she didn’t share those details or even say she’s very sick.
But really, those of you commenting as if every mother(or father)/ child relationship is healthy and loving… Fyi Some children have abusive mothers/parents and while I’m glad you had a decent enough childhood to make these comments, you should really be more aware of the facts of life, as adults.
OP, you probably know your husbands reasoning here so I’m not sure why not share those details so you can receive helpful advice? But , if your mother is truly in need and she treats you (and your husband) well, maybe talk to your husband again about trying to have her stay there on a trial basis and see how it goes for all of you? Let him know his feelings about it matter too because it is his home as well.
If your husband is being fair with his concerns, talk to your mom about how you can actually help her (without ruining your marriage). If she is actually very ill or disabled there are resources out there.
My daughter took care of her mil because my son in law is an only child but it became difficult to care for her since she had dementia, the dr recommended a nursing home since both worked but my sil agreed on that , now she is happy living there , just depending if you have the time to care for her with her illnesses
My mother just passed a week ago she was sick for almost 10 years I got with my boyfriend 7 years ago and started a family with him and moved my mom in with us a year into the relationship which he didn’t want to but got over it soon enough. I’m going to be brutally honest this will be one of the hardest things you do figuring out how to balance your mom’s health care routine , giving your husband his attention and needs on top of kids house work and a job if you have one and there will be nights you want to give up and days that feel like they never end . But trust me creating these final memories for however long you guys have together are priceless. I’d do it all over again just to have one more day or even hour with my mom. And you or anyone going threw something similar feel free to add me on here and I will talk and give the best advice I can or just listen to your vents everyday need be. Stay strong and be brave ! Prayers and blessings coming your way
Too bad. He needs to get over it. That’s your mom and she deserves to be with family
To be honest my husband wouldn’t want my mum moving in permanently and either would i.
I wouldn’t allow his parents to live with us permanently so wouldn’t expect different for my mum.
Why is this even a question. Your mom gave you life and took care of you! It’s the only right thing to let her in no matter what anyone says!
My mom took care of me, raised me, sheltered me, loved me and I will do the same for her…anytime.
Mental Health comes first…Don’t lose yourself or your marriage cause of the mum did stuff for you guilt b.s What is your husbands reason?, are their children in the house, Who or how’s household income earnt, are there siblings to share care. STOP MAKING DAUGHTERS THE ANSWER TO EVERY OLD PERSONS PROBLEM…my mother is dead and we had a great relationship so blah blah blah on the you only get one mother go get a new husband junk.
When my mom was sick I took care of her… Never let a man come between u and ur mama!! I’m assuming ur mom is not and old prude! Id move my mom in if she was still here!! Love ur mama she is the only one u have!! There is plenty of fish in sea!!
You can always get another husband but you will never get another mom
My husband loves me so he’d back me up. But, if you have siblings maybe take turns. My brother would take my mom if needed. Idk… are you the only child? (Says only daughter) possibly take turns? Idk
How would he feel if it was his mother
Can you see if she would relocate very near to you?
It’s SO easy to say just get rid of the husband. It’s hard moving in an in-law. My MIL moved into an in-law suite in our house and it’s stressful. It has impacted our marriage and it’s a strain on his as well.
You need to talk and figure out why he has reservations about her moving in.
My dad’s grandma lived with him growing up and he told me to think long and hard before MIL moved in because it also effected the kids.
I think there’s a lot of information missing here. What’s his reason?
I think your husband has the right to have a say on who lives in your house.
Depending on the issue of what exactly her issue is, a MIL pod? She has her own space and access to you
I’m 27 and I lost my mother 4 years ago so please take it from me, keep your mother as close as possible they aren’t around for ever & it’s a lonely and cruel world without them kick your “husband” into the balls and tell him regrow a pair ffs you’ll only ever have one mother
Great Advice above… Ditch your husband, care for your sick Mom and when she passes you can live alone and have no one to care for you because you ditched your husband
When you marry that’s your commitment, it’s not to your parents. I would not be moving my mother or MIL into my home unless it was very temporary. Find other opinions.
If he won’t let you take in your mom, be sure he realizes if a time comes when his parents need taken in same applies. If you must put her in nursing home or hospice but be sure to visit her at least on occasion and let her know despite not being able to have her with you you’re still there for her. Sometimes you can’t help out like you’d like but you can compromise.
Neither would I, not my own nor my inlaws
I’d look into somewhere for her to live with aids or nurses of her health is declining . If you have kids I wouldn’t want them to see that anyways on a daily . Your husband is right either way , you have a family now that you need to worry about first
Talk to your husband more, seriously You only have one mom and once she’s gone she’s gone and if something happens to her it will eat you alive thinking about it, I hope everything works out for you. And if she’s really bad I’d try to find a good health care place for her and make sure to go see her as much as you can