My daughter was asked to homecoming by a kid we do not know…she is a junior and he is a senior…we havent met him or his family…the issue is he wants to drive them bc he drives a super nice car and my husband is not okay with that…he said he isnt even okay droppping her off at homecoming now just in case he tries to leave with her in his car…how can I get him to stop being like this?
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Your husband is trying to prevent your daughter from being assaulted. It has nothing to do with whether he trusts her or if they’ve raised her right. He isn’t comfortable with putting his child in a position where she is alone. You don’t know this young man. You’ve never met him. Anything that were to happen in that car is he said versus she said. I would not want my teenage daughter to be isolated in a car with someone I don’t know and don’t trust. He was listening when they said, me too.
She’s a Jr in high-school. Let her enjoy herself.
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She is never going to be open and honest with y’all. You need to show her that you trust her. As a parent myself, I want my child to come to me with anything going on in their lives. Tell hubby to back off a little.
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Go to meet him and his parents, simple.
Meet the parents with both kids present . Or invite him over . Let them have fun.
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Take her to the homecoming and be a Chaperone for the night. I am sure the school, get to meet the family and the boy to see how they are. That might put Daddy at ease. I am sure the parents would appreciate the gesture. Your little girl is growing up Daddy and hopefully she has always been trustworthy.
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My daughter is a senior now. Before she goes out with anyone, he must come in and meet us. Sorry dad, daughter is growing up whether you like it or not. If you make her miss all the milestones, like homecoming, she will grow to resent you. Trust that you’ve given her the values and tools that she needs
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I agree with your husband 100% because Ik what I would have done at that age
You have to let her socialize now. If you wait till she’s older she won’t know the clues and cues. It’s awkward when you’re older and you’ve never been. If you talk to her like she’s a young lady and what your expectations are for her and you want her to have fun. Dad’s communicating with your girls is the best thing you can do as a Dad. Talk to her about boys. Talk to her about your hopes and dreams for her. Also ask her what she wants for her future. Setting goals is a big help in doing the right thing for the right reason.
SORRY I’ll climb down off my soap box. I’ve see some really good parent from all backgrounds do this and it made for smart girl and women.
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When I was I’m high school and I had older friends that were driving my mom needed to see drivers license and insurance before she’d let me go
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Oh wow 
that’s sad if she missed it because his insecurities, he’s projecting his own feelings into her night . Have u raised her well ? He should trust his own parenting & let her go & make memories, meet the kid first & if he’s a good kid & will be good & safe & sober then let her go , if he is a bad guy or disrespectful , then she can go on her own !
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Poor girl she is a jr he has to start trusting her at some point …. Has she done things to not be trust worthy? Agree to put life 360 on her phone so you can see if she leaves the party
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If he keeps acting like this, you will see her with a family of 6 by the time she’s 21. Go head. See how it goes. Lol.
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I think he’s correct all the way
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I’d put my foot down and drop her off if he still is that mindset. I Agree with him in that I would not feel comfortable with another teenager driving but she is not missing homecoming, come on…
Controlling parents just teach kids how to be good liars. And kids will do whatever they want regardless… I’ve seen homeschooled kids become teen parents lol so there’s that.
Hope he comes to his senses 
Best of luck.
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let him put a tracking device on her phone . keeps her safe and accounted for and she gets freedom
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Ok go ahead and let her rebel bc she’s practically grown and he won’t let her do anything. And let her finish growing up hating him and probably never come back home after she graduates. Not sure if in his eyes he’s trying to protect her or if he’s just a control freak but this won’t end pretty.
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In my opinion then please have him drop the bolth of them off and ask her not to leave with him if he takes his car
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He will ruin his relationship with his daughter the only way for her to be trusted is to loosen the reins a little bit and if she stuffs up tighten them that’s how I did it with my 3 of my 4 girls give them respect and responsibility so they can be trusted otherwise there will be decite and lies… and secrets which are dangerous no secret is safe
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I can’t help with advice but oh how I’d love to attend a homecoming
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If he has any confidence in his abilities as a father or YOU as a mother, she’ll be just fine…it’s one night and you meet him when he comes to pick her up or you meet up with the group for pictures…not like they’re going on a road trip…they’re going to a school dance…this is how kids “practice” these situations before they’re on their own
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I agree with your husband! Why hadn’t this young man met her parents? And too many young kids with souped up cars showing off and killings themselves and others ! I’ve seen it countless times in my field!and there are a lot of comments about the parents trusting her ! Not many about trusting him. Maybe it’s a senior in school with a souped up car that the father doesn’t trust! He is a man and knows what could happen. Just a thought! Don’t bother jumping down my throat.
Meet with son and parents before homecoming. Set some rules but also let her enjoy herself. If she breaks those rules then that’s a reason to not let her do things but if she hasn’t given you no reason to not trust her, let her have some freedom or she’ll do it behind your back.
He needs to trust her more and honestly they’re gonna do what they want regardless if he drives her or not. But you also need to have some trust in her. As for meeting for me personally my mom didn’t really mind no knowing who I was with cause she knew I wasn’t gonna do anything stupid the only guys she met was the ones I dated and she didn’t even meet them until months after we had already been together… idk I think yall should just let her be picked up and just keep her location on or call to check in and see how she’s doing
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Why don’t you try and meet him? Set dome ground rules. But being scared about any boy and mot allowing things guarantees she WILL go behind your back on things
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Maybe invite the guy over for dinner?
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He should trust her more. For sure get her location and have her do a video call check-in. But they’re going to do what they’re going to do whether it be at the dance or otherwise soooo… 
Teach her how to be safe when moments do arise.
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It’s hard to give advice when we don’t know all the facts. Is she a good kid? Is she trustworthy? Good grades? Or does she have a track record for breaking rules and being dishonest? If she is a good kid then this is an opportunity to see how responsible she is. Track her location on your phone and layout what is expected. Meet the parents and the boy before the dance.
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Tell him to drive her there and wait outside the pick her up after.
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If he isn’t gonna let her ride in the car with him he needs to at least take her for pictures and drop her off at the school he has to trust her to not leave with him.
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He needs to trust God will take care of her.
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What age is homecoming ? I’m UK so unsure.
Could you possibly ask and arrange to meet the boy as an introduction, or maybe seek out his parents and ask the same, voice the concern you’d just like to meet him first just to say hello and out a face to a name. I’d like to hope they would more than willing to do this x
Get the boy to pick her up by knocking at the door invite him in and tell him you trust him to take good care of your daughter and after the dance to bring her home safely and tell i am placeing my beautiful daughter in your care.
Meet the guy, invite him for dinner, get to know him!! He might just be a real nice guy who happens to have a car…
At least she won’t be walking the streets to get home
And if he does have an accident and your daughter is killed…. How do you ever face your husband again ? … get the guy to come around and have a talk with your husband. I’d never let a guy just take my daughter in his car without me meeting him.
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Dad’s are always going to be over protective of their daughters
We don’t have home coming or proms here in Australia
As a girl who had strict boundaries you g. I rebelled hugely and moved out at 18 to go live with a boy n be a grownup. So allowing and trusting is a huge part of your daughter growing up.
It was the worst mistake of my life doing that so yeah
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Can’t blame him. Kids these days are not the same.
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Is he going to be the only person at homecoming with a car?
Are there trust issues with your daughter?
Meet the kid and his parents! This is not the mountain you guys want to go down on this late with your daughter! So many ways to go about this other than stopping her all together!
Does your husband doubt how well you’ve both raised your daughter?
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If your daughter has never given you guys a reason not to trust her then you need to trust her. Do you have life 360 on her phone? (Have you even allowed her a phone) if you don’t start letting her make decisions on her own, how will she know as she gets older?
Can’t even believe the micromanaging on this thread. Kids a Junior in high school.
Have life 360, it’s free or you can pay for the upgraded. We have it and we put it on our oldest daughter’s phone and tablet. We like it as it give us a peace of mind knowing if something happens it gives the exact location and if you click it’ll give you the directions/quickest route to them. I’ve had to use it to find my fiance when he was working for electrical. He would ask me to bring him lunch but couldn’t tell me where as they went from location to location.
It also has an sos that she can hit on the app and it alerts you, if she wants it’ll also alert 911 as well.
Just a thought… Hopefully dad won’t make her miss it. I didnt go to my last homecoming or my prom. I regret it now.
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Why not try meeting him?
I really don’t understand the issue with him driving them as long as he’s a safe driver
If he’s worried about them having sex, forbidding prom isn’t going to stop it, same with drugs or alcohol
Ask her to introduce the guy to her dad first?
Why hasn’t he came over to meet you yet? I believe your husband is traditional which isn’t all that bad, sometimes. However, people are right, he needs to learn to trust her too. But we were all teenagers too at one point and he knows exactly what the boy is thinking. Plus this boy has never came over introduce himself to you guys. Where is the respect in that? Now he wants to take your daughter in his car? He is a stranger to you and your ok with that. Come on now! Common sense
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So meet the kid and parents before homecoming? Like why have you not set up a dinner?
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Oh wow, I’m sorry… I really have no words. I was going to say just take her, but then you said he doesn’t even want to do that. Does he realize how many other kids have cars that will be there? So even if he didn’t have a car, if they were going to do something such as leaving, well kids will find a way anyways. I can understand him not wanting her to go in the car with her date, but she is a junior, he needs to have some trust in her. Has she ever done anything to cause him not to trust her? Is he going to keep her from prom next year too? This is a tough one, but I’d say, she only gets to do these highschool things once, let her enjoy these years that she won’t get back.
Your husband is trying to prevent your daughter from being assaulted. It has nothing to do with whether he trusts her or if they’ve raised her right. He isn’t comfortable with putting his child in a position where she is alone. You don’t know this young man. You’ve never met him. Anything that were to happen in that car is he said versus she said. I would not want my teenage daughter to be isolated in a car with someone I don’t know and don’t trust. He was listening when they said, me too.
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Believe you won’t regret ur husband making a good move when she turns 18 bye
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The fact that he thinks she will already shows he has no trust in her. She’s going to do what she wants with or without his approval. She’s a junior in high school, not a 6th grader. I know it’s hard. I can’t imagine being a man with a daughter…
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He has all rights to be this controlling you don’t know the guy/kid and as a retired child victims professional do not let her go with him in his car 
too many drugs and drinking
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I wouldn’t trust a random kid behind the wheel. I drive and pick you up or you don’t go. 
Not that I agree with Dad but the comments appear like everyone is assuming he’s afraid she’ll be deflowered or something 
my thoughts went immediately to
nice car =fast car= my daughter potentially being in a bad accident. Granted Dad thinking that way can be problematic too but it’s something that happens during school party nights.
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Ugh- this is such a hard place. I keep trying to hold her close but I remind myself that I have given my kiddo the tools to make decisions to help her succeed, that doesn’t mean she’s going to make great decisions each time. It means that one day I won’t be here and I need to give her the chance to learn and grow while I am still here to help her through the fails.
Praying you can all come to some agreement that doesn’t cause her to miss out on awesome memories.
I love that dad he’s the absolute BEST!!!
Go meet him and his family
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These are almost the last of her high school memories. Let her enjoy them
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That’s something I would of done.
Ask the kid over for dinner. Let him get to know the dad. Go from there. He needs to feel his daughter will be protected and safe with this boy.
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You better trust your man. Hes keeping her safe.
Let him know if he is too strict she will go behind his back. Set boundaries and give her a chance.
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Easy… meet him and his parents. And trust you’ve raised your daughter right.
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It’s worrying if she is your only daughter, but dad will have to learn to be a little trusting for his daughter sake. I understand how he feels I have three daughters all grown up now, if he is unsure maybe he should go and introduce himself to the boy then his family, see what the outcome is.
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Have him come over for supper before this happens (maybe his parents too)- get to know him a little and give him rules
You drive your daughter to and from the dance. She can meet him there those are the rules.
Just ask to meet him first, maybe have dinner a week before to get to know him.
Download an app on your phone and hers to put him at ease so he can see her location and speed of travel
Comes down to, does he trust your daughter.
He needs to trust her. Lay out the rules to going to Homecoming and then, potential consequences to breaking the rules.
Let her have her freedom it gives her a chance to show you both that she can be responsible.
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Why not meet the kid and his parents then make a decision. Those are memory’s she’ll never get back. She’s a junior. Just 1 more year of school left before she’s done. Not many memory’s left to make. Because if you don’t let her then she’s going to resent you for it. Pick and choose your battles. This is one not worth the fight over. If he doesn’t trust her riding with the guy then why don’t you drive her and sit in the parking lot and wait on her. You’d see if she tried to leave.
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I have a daughter who is a junior and going to homecoming this weekend. In 2 years these ladies will be attending college and control of this man’s daughter will cease. He will have a rude awakening in store. Is this being protective or controlling???
Easy for someone else to tell you how to manage your child. No two households are the same. Some women respect their husbands and accept his courage to manage his household. Seems like a grand opportunity to show your daughter that you stand with her father
Look. We all know what we did homecoming, prom, school dances, etc. It’s inevitable.
I would be more worried about the car and an accident. I WAS worried when my twins entered highschool. So I got the life 360 app. It curbed my anxiety so much! I could see where they were. How fast they went. Crash detection. It was great. Give that a try.
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Hey dad go with them. You can sit in the back seat. Lol
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Way to make your kid hate you Dad needs to trust not only in her that he raised a good daughter but in himself for doing a good job or she always gonna hold these things against him.
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Let her go, if not she will think about that day for the rest of her life. My dad never let me go to anything and I still don’t like him to this day for it.
Dad sounds controlling. My 25 year old daughter had a car when she was a junior.
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Meet the boy and his parents, you have this right, I would also ask to see license and to make sure he did have insurance. Accidents/mistakes etc. do happen. Better safe than sorry. I would be a nervous ass wreck (two young daughters of my own) but I think after meeting parents and boy I might feel a little better about the situation and some people may not agree with me here and that’s okay, I would have my daughter download life360 on her phone, so I could see where she was at throughout the night, not to be nosy if she was out having sex somehwhere or at a party instead of the dance because that in Itself is a totally different conversation but to make sure they got there safe, it shows you exactly where she’s located.
Tell Dad to hire them a limousine!! They would feel very special!!
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Start by insisting on meeting this kid. He may be a very responsible young man.
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If she’s a junior in high school then you have maybe a year before she chooses to get in that car on her own, without a need for parental permission. It may be time to think about what your relationship with your adult child will be like.
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Well get off your fat ass and go meet the guy and his family.
Dad is right to be worried
That being said it is our job as parents to talk to and educate our children about the world around them. Not shelter them from everything.
She’s not a little girl! She’s a junior and if u trust her there shouldn’t be an issue with letting her go with her date to homecoming! Get the life 360 on her cell phone and than u can monitor her whereabouts and how fast he drives!
I would definitely tell him to cool it. Just have a talk with her about safe and responsible driving and tell her to call you if she notices anything that makes her uncomfortable.
He can always go to homecoming and babysit this boys car. Or You can make an effort to show how much you really take an interest in your daughter’s life and Make a connection with His parents. This is a very Opportune Moment to Establish TRUST. Not only for pops but for your daughter as well. I really wish you all the best of luck finding a solution and not another excuse.
You need to meet him and set ground rules for the “date”. Explain the consequences if the rules are broken and then have faith your daughter makes the right choices. She’s almost an adult and you have to let go some.
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Maybe you can’t . He IS a Dad and that is their job. At least get to know the kid before making a firm decision
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Maybe actually meet the guy
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Soon she can do as she pleases. It’s best to start trusting and helping her make good decisions.
my (bonus) daughter has a date to homecoming this saturday. i couldn’t tell you the boy’s name. however he will be picking her up. that’s just how it is. you cannot control every little detail 
This is when you have to decide if you trust your daughter. Dropping her off and letting her know when you will be back to get her should be good enough. It’s hard to let our little girls grow up but it has to be done. Meet the boy and set ground rules. She is of dating age and you gotta let her have some freedom and space to grow. Locking her down will only make her rebel and that never turns out good.
Is he worried y’all didn’t raise her properly? At the end of the day teenagers who are controlled rebel the hardest.
I can understand dad’s fears but we raise our kids to this point for them to make decisions and choices we can’t be there everyday. 17 years old when are you going to let her spread her wings a little and fly when she’s on her own. This is where you put the trust in the way you’ve raised her and the decisions she makes.
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Dad needs to get over it…the girl is almost grown. How would she feel having daddy drop her off?
My biggest issue would be drinking and driving. At every high-school event I ever attended, alcohol was a huge factor. I’ve lost numerous friends to it. I would rent a super nice limo for them personally. Trusting your kid is one thing, being able to foresee all the horrible things that can go wrong and possibly try to avoid it is another thing altogether.
Do you not have your daughters location? Life 360 says how fast the car is going. You can drop her off and pick her up, I get the driving fast concern though. However, if my daughter wants to go to homecoming, she’s going.
Does he trust your daughter? Regardless if he knows the boy or not, he knows your daughter. Does he trust her to make good decisions? I do worry about my daughter-obviously-but I also trust her to make good choices just like we’ve taught her…. She’s dating a boy with a bed in his car (a truck)! we let them go places. Do I worry? Of course. Parents just do that. I still worry about my older two as well. But I know she’s a smart girl! So he needs to ask himself if he trusts your daughter or not….
I would need to meet the date and family first. And no driving with him.