I’m pregnant with baby #4, and all of our other kids are six and under. My husband and I got into an argument last night about how it feels like he’s spending more time with his friend than me and the kids. He literally works with him, so every day they see each other at work, they eat lunch together everyday, and on weekends they always make plans to hangout. The kids and I only got invited once to be involved with them. They do fun things like taking trips to D.C, go to museums, movie theater, and always eat at new places. I cried to my husband last night how it wasn’t fair that we never get to go anywhere. I and the kids are literally stuck in the house 24/7. I work from home and go to school from home as well and do all the household chores without help. This weekend he wants to go out with his friend and didn’t invite us, so I just got fed up with it and told him it wasn’t fair. He got mad at me and said his friend sits in his room all day doing nothing, has no family or friends around but him. And I literally in tears said that’s exactly what I’m going through every day and he’d much rather put his friend’s needs first. I asked him what about date nights for us, and he said we don’t need them. They are pointless, but yet he’s willing to drop money on his friend in a heartbeat. So after a long argument filled with tears, I gave up and said some things that proved he doesn’t take care of me and put his friend’s needs first. We ended up not talking for the rest of the night, even though he tried to. I was just upset and felt like giving up; I cried for two hours last night. I haven’t eaten much, I’ve lost weight not gained it(I’m 20 weeks), and I have let myself go. I literally don’t do anything to take care of myself and find myself wishing I looked like the Instagram models he and I follow. Maybe something might’ve sunk in because last night he went for a walk to think, and today he came home early from work and brought me and the kids lunch. He also gave me a gift card and told me to go do something with the kids tomorrow. I just hate that it takes something like me crying for two hours for him to realize I need attention and care too, not just his friend. He doesn’t see it as a big deal, but I even said the least he could do when he goes out with his friend is to leave the car with me so I can go do something with the kids. I also feel like a reason why he doesn’t want to be around me is that I don’t do the things I used to. I don’t give myself self-care anymore like doing my nails, coloring my hair, buying new makeup, wearing makeup, etc. I’ll admit our intimate life has been dulled down a lot. Do you guys think if I started taking care of myself again and feeling confident in myself that he’ll want to spend more time with me? I feel like he’s embarrassed because I’ll wear sweatpants for days or never dress up when we do go out. And I’ve completely lost all self-confidence, and that’s turned him off. Please help a mom out. I wanna feel confident again.
Ok first take a deep breath. Second when the kids go to bed take a bubble bath put on a facemask but do all this for yourself maybe paint your nails curl your hair look in the mirror and say I’m beautiful I’m worth it. But dont do it for him get your confidence back for you. Then sit down and talk to your husband again and say I need you to leave the car I need you to leave money if not to go somewhere but also for emergencies.
I feel like the gift card to go and take the kids out is kind of a slap in the face because it’s saying YOU take the kids out, not let’s all go somewhere together as a family.
Well, first of all you should know your own value and not have to depend on strangers to tell you your own self respect nor value. Secondly, you both have kids so your intimate life isn’t down you both just have lots more responsibilities to attend to, not just you. Husband needs to realize his responsibilities as well not just to work come hm and go out!
Is your husband having an affair with his friend?
Talk to him again. Give him an ultimatum. Because obviously his friends needs are more imoortant. Or is it that hes saying hes with his friend and hes really not… Eyes wide open my dear… Check phone records. It might be more then what u think.
You answered your own question with your question. Just because you are a mom it doesn’t mean you have to neglect yourself. You deserve to do all the things you did for yourself before. Yah pregnancy makes you tired but if you don’t have the will to do anything for yourself I’d feel distant also. Get up and get the fuck out tell ur husband he is not going out and you are. He is staying with the kids while you go get pampered. Don’t let yourself go and get out of those sweat pants! Put on something nice and take yourself out.
Girl! Go get your hair done, put on some make up and a cute outfit and take yourself and your kids out to have fun make new friends! It shouldn’t take him that much to realize how unhappy you are and it damn sure shouldn’t take you getting ready for him to acknowledge you your beauty! So yes get ready feel good but do it for yourself!
He’s cheating on your relationship. Cheating doesn’t have to be physical or even a sexual thing.
I feel like maybe an affair like mentioned above…
Leave him it’s what I’d do to be honest
Today is a new day! I know it’s easier said than done… I am a stay at home … I get up every day with my boyfriend… 6am. Everyday I shower and put on my make up (just eyes). And I get dressed choosing something that is comfortable but looks nice … I do it for me mostly. But I do it to look good for him too… I hear you loud and clear. Do not give up on him. Might I suggest a book and a FB group Finding Joy, live your Brave !! It full of amazing support and guidance. Sending positive vibes and hugs your way. One day at a time. You got this. Be Courageous 
I think how we project ourselves, project on others. Yes, your SO should love you no matter what, but how, if we don’t see ourselves how can we expect others to see us? Kids are exhausting, being pregnant is exhausting but we as women aren’t dead. Find things y’all can do together that’s safe for prgnancy and find yourself again and he’ll find you again. Do something for you, leave him with the kids for a couple hrs and he’ll understand within 20 min how exhausting it is. Do things you used to do. Good luck.
Sometimes as a mother you forget your worth cause you get so wrapped up in being mommy… take a minute do for you and if he doesn’t wanna spend time with you and the kids and this friend is more important then your still alive go live again like he is !!! Lifes to short to wait around for a man to notice love you and your kids and find the strength it took to give birth in you. Good luck 
Is he gay? Seems to be spending a bit too much time with his “friend”
And you don’t have to dress yourself up for him to give you attention. You shouldn’t have to alter yourself for your husband.
I feel like you should dump his lame ass. 50/50 custody. Take the days you dont have with the kids, and hang out with your friends, find someone else who wants to spend quality time with you.
Girl he did the BARE minimum to make it up to you. He told YOU to take the kids out. He still plans on going out with his friend. Sounds like everything he does with his friend he can do with you also. Sounds like he and the friend are having an affair 
. He isn’t putting you and your kids first and he isn’t willing to see how he’s wrong
I’m not the girly girl either. I dont wear dresses, I hate them. I do sometimes color my hair. Never get my nails done anymore. And you know what? My husband still spends time with me and the kids. Your husband is putting his friends needs over you and the kids. That ain’t cool.
He’s not hanging out with the “friend” you think he is. Those are all the signs of an affair.
Ohh sweetheart. I only have 1 kid and 20 weeks preggo as well. I’m a stay at home mom. I don’t do my hair daily or put on my face… I just see no point when we are home all day. Now if we have a date night or go out n about I put effort into what I look like. Us moms can’t let ourselves go bc we stay at home! Start doing things that make you feel you again. If you only have one vehicle, maybe take him to work a day or two outta the week that way you and the kiddos can get out! Stay strong Momma
A gift card for you to take your kids to do something isn’t giving you attention honey. That’s throwing money at you and hoping it will be just enough that you feel appreciated and he can continue doing whatever
I’m sorry to hear that 
but know that true self care wont come from wanting to please him. True self care comes from wanting better for YOU.
Are you sure it’s not another woman? Dig a little and see what you can find. Either way, he’s not gonna change. Leave.
I would look into this friendship deeper…possibility of romance.
Nah you need to find out what his relationship with his best friend is based on? Are they seeing each other? Is he using the friendship as a means to feel young again? You need to find out.
Otherwise take care of yourself and the kids and just focus on moving forward. If y’all need to see a therapist to do so then do it but there’s also nothing wrong with wanting to work things out. But whatever you do, put the children and you first. These kids are nothing without you. A happy mom=happy kids
Make a life for you and the kids. Take care of you so you can take care of the kids. Spend the money that you make from your job on you. Let him pay the bills. Purchase your own car so you can go when you need to. Stop letting him make you feel bad about your self. Did this just start or for some time. know your self worth, work on self it is about you and your kids. Pray, seek wise council. Raising children isnt a easy job but it is worth it . Hang in there, trust God through it all.
Dust yourself off hunny, happiness comes from yourself, go do stuff with your children, when he is home maybe you need to leave him with the kids and go have some time to yourself, being a mom is tough and you deserve to be valued and definitely not ignored. but you need to want yourself, love yourself, and keep going for yourself and your children. He will either get the hint and do better or you can focus on making a life without him.
Have abortion and get your life back
Please do not blame yourself even a little for his choices! You’re a stay at home mom with work, class, and doing the most important job you will ever have❤ you take care of yourself and those babies! Hopefully he will see the error in his ways and start putting in the extra effort, but if not it is his loss and you and the kids deserve better
I can totally relate and I don’t have the answers. I helped myself several years ago by literally stopping all of the household chores. I stopped cooking, laundry, dishes, and cleaning. Hubby eventually got tired of his n kids messes and began helping more with everything. That was not a good time and it drove me crazy to have to let things be lower than the standards I had set, but I needed help and the strategy worked. I also felt neglected and overlooked.
He is probably having an affair
I’m sorry but this sounds straight up like an affair. Be it with this guy or he’s using his friend as the excuse and seeing someone. This isn’t a friendship is an affair. I would look at banking records, phone bill, etc. this is way no friend thing. What a piece of crap. Sorry
You sound like you miss doing those things for yourself. I’ve been down/busy this year with my life revolving around doing things for others. This normally something I love but I’ve suffered an injury and it makes everything harder. I’ve always enjoyed dying my hair, don’t my nails, working out, etc. This year I went almost nine months without doing my hair… This is extremely abnormal for me. It’s something I love doing. So a week and half ago I said screw it I’m dying my hair … Everyone and everything else can wait until I’m done. Those two hours from start to finish felt AMAZING. I have been more myself since. My husband, kids, parents, everyone had made comments about how I look like I’m feeling better… It I look so much happier. Apparently, it’s been incredibly noticable and those two hours of stress free time for me made a massive difference. Taking just a couple of hours here and there can do so much for one’s sanity. Do what makes you feel good in that time… Dye your hair, do your nails, go for a walk, read a book, whatever makes you feel more like you used to before having the world put on your shoulders.
He should love you no matter what you look like. You are pregnant and taking care of his 4 kids. Im sure he couldn’t do what you do without having a complete breakdown. Bottom line its ok he has a friend but he needs to put in time with you and the kids as well. I hate to say it but he may be having an affair the way you are talking
Sorry but your old man is doing his boyfriend. He had lunch with you and the kids and gave you a gift card just to shut you up. Probably the boyfriend’s idea. Noticed you haven’t mentioned your sex life, bet that’s nill and void. He’s in love and not with you
It’s a bump in the road. I went through the same thing ( a few times) with my husband. We have been together 18 year’s, married 11. I let myself get into a slump and it effected everything and everyone around me. At first I had to make myself pretend to feel better, be nicer, take care of myself. Then it started to be what I wanted and needed for myself. Start with your self care and better things will follow. Promise
Dont put up with that!
Get the car take kids to sitter go have a spa day go to a movie
Why dont you have him take care of the kids and you get a friend and go do stuff , they are his kids to he should be spending time caring for them ( not abt them ) for them .
Do not blame your self for his neglect.He is not being a good husband or father.
He’s on that homo shit . It’s not you
So, let me understand this. He gives you a gift card to go and do something with THE KIDS. What did he do while you and the kids were gone? Go and hold his friend’s hand. He should have taken the kids out himself and paid for you to have a weekend spa get away. He won’t change, they never do. I did it all too. And I homeschooled both my kids. I was a married-single parent. 
First off, take care of yourself. You can’t be happy in any relationship if you’re not happy with yourself. Second off, what is the nature of this friendship? This seems odd to me. Or, is there actually a woman in the picture and he is using this friend as his excuse?
Not to sound rude but is he gay? It sounds like it
OMG, you have 3 kids under 6 yrs of age, are pregnant, stuck at home and trying to better your life, and HE needs to go out and relax? You are exhausted, and basically a single mother! He needs to GROW THE F UP and face his responsibilities. Do not settle for less.
He’s either gay or sorry. Either way fuck him. I’d be packing my shit. That’s crap. Sick of these dudes that can’t fkn act right
Tell him to move in with his buddy.File for seperaton, child support ETC.Ket him be permanently absent from you and the children.
First of all, no. If what you look like at the end of a hard day doesnt make him love you even more, hes an asshole and fuck him.
I think you need to plan something for yourself one weekend. Leave him hime with the kids so he can get a little taste of what your life is like. Right now he doesnt resprct or appreciate you. Stand up for yourself and get mad. They’re his kids too and he’s gonna act like it or you’ll leave.
And why cant this friend go make some other friends? Why is he literally sitting around waiting for your husband to take him to do fun stuff and spend money on him? Like, are they having a secret affair? Tf is that?
And dont let this gift card and lunch buy you back. Thats him taking the easy way out. He needs to actually put in effort to spend time with you guys over his friend or it doesnt count.
If you want to look better for yourself, go ahead. It will probably make you feel a little better. But you’re a mama to littles. Its hard to even find time to shower, much less get dolled up everyday…
Self care for yourself. Leave the kids with him take the car. Demand your own time now. If he gets kid free time you must demand your own. I don’t care if that means you fight with him to get it. I’m lucky in that part I can leave kids with husband. Now we don’t have that many but if you can do it work and go to school he can handle a day with them alone.
Sounds like your husband has a boyfriend. That man is gay. That for sure is more than just his friend.
Well if he’s not paying you any attention, how does he expect you to have any self confidence! You’re in a relationship with someone, yes you should be confident on your own, but you also need that validation from him sometimes! Honestly Maybe he’s gay? If he would rather hang out with his “friend” who happens to be a guy then… Maybe ¯_(ツ)_/¯
Take care of yourself first. If you are wearing the same sweats for days then you are probably depressed. If your husband won’t go for counseling with you, go for yourself.
You only need to change yourself to feel better about yourself. Dont rely on his validation to feel good… I feel like maybe if you became a little more independent he might take notice?
Before even dealing with him not spending time with you demand the car and leave the kids with him his next day off. If his friend is so lonely he can help him take care of the kids while you do what ever even if it’s drive to a coffee shop and enjoy the silence
I’ve felt like this almost all the time and then beat myself up at tye same time for not doing anything about it. My bf doesnt spend every weekend with a friend. But maybe just go out with your kids and take a day for yourself. Do it more often for you. So you can feel good.
This is probably the weirdest friendship ever. Is his friend a girl or a guy? Is be wondering if he had an actual relationship with this perso .
You have way too much on you, and he still has some growing up to do. Demand something for yourself, something you can do to nurture yourself back to you. He can’t deny you when he liberally takes for himself.
Sounds like hes gay or having an affair. Just keep better yourself and if it doesn’t change when you are able, leave. You are pregnant!! You have a right to be comfy. I just had a baby 3 weeks ago and my fiance didnt care about makeup hair or clothes. He encouraged me to be comfy, eat snacks, and take it easy. Right now he’s working and taking care of the kids, helping with baby, getting the kids ready for school, and making dinners so I can heal. You teach people how to treat you. Stop letting it happen. He can go out one night a month. And the other 3 weekends are for family and for catching up on stuff at home. He shouldnt be leaving you with no car either.
Lady who posted this, if you see this comment I too live near DC so seems we live near eachother please message me and we can become friends! I know this has nothing to do with what you posted but everyone needs someome to be able to count on even if it’s just another mom. I can relate with my fiance not wanting to do anything with us once he gets home or the weekends, from the time he gets home he gets right on his computer to play games. Your man should also realize pregnancy takes so much from you and plus you have littles already and they can make you even more exhausted so I don’t blame you for just wanting to be comfortable. I really hope things get better and he comes around.
Could he be gay or bisexual?
He. Is. Gay. And I’m not saying this to be rude but it’s the harsh reality of it.
Don’t you dare blame yourself for how your husband is treating you.!!! He’s just thinking about himself.Theyre his children too.Spend a weekend without him and let him deal with them completely, just like you do with no help from anyone and see how he feels after two days. Do you think he’ll be laughing about it ,l don’t think so.!! No wonder you’ve lost your confidence.His life hasn’t changed much but yours certainly has.Tell him to bring his friend over to your house and see how long this friendship lasts.Make a stand now because it will only get worse if you don’t.
so he’ll give you a gift card to hush you up about not leaving the house ? But he can’t spend time with you and the kids …?
You need to know your self worth. Girl I had 4 kids I can relate to how you feel about yourself. He is being selfish. He needs a reality slap of what would happen if mom finally loses her shit and he has to take care of his family. Men take advantage of their partners if they are shown they are not needed to do anything. Be that person! Be the person who when he walks in the door either go in your room and lock the door for you time or hand the kids to him and take off for alittle while. It sounds mean but it isn’t! You need you time! You need to be appreciated for everything you do for the family. Remember the saying you dont know what you got until it is gone? Let him feel that. Let him see what life would be like without you there. Then maybe he will change his train of thought on things
Doing things like that is good for yourself. Self-love is very important. Boosting your self confidence is important for yourself. But, your husband should love you for you no matter how you look. Of course you’re not doing the same things you used to we all grow up, especially when we become mothers. I’m very sorry to hear that you’re feeling that way, but I think that’s some self-love would make you feel better about yourself. Regarding your husband’s attention towards you, sometimes it takes that drastic move for them to understand that you need more attention from them. I hope that everything gets better!
is it his friend or boyfriend? what a d*ck
can we say DIVORCE? I would not put up with that! My stepmom went though something similar to this with her first husband and by 2nd child he was still not there for her so divorce time. You divorce that man take the kids and the house and let him pay child support and then he can hang out with that friend of his all he wants …he will be so sorry then once he looses you because there will be no clean home to come home to he will be doing it.,.there is no laundry that will be done he will have to do it and wash all his dirty dishes and pick up after himself.DO NOT PUT UP WITH THAT!!!
He’s fuckin that dude.
Your husband is on the DL. This is not normal activity.
Ok I thought the same thing- he’s gay.
If he can’t accept you at your worst then he doesn’t deserve you at your best.
Sounds like he’s having an affair
If your man loves you he will claim you. I gained all my weight back, stopped wearing makeup, I even forgot the basics like laundry and brushing my hair he still spent time with me, he still told me I was beautiful. I also don’t say this to be mean or rude but is there any chance he might be gay?
sounds like you & the kids are a BEARD, or the ‘friend’ is covering up an affair for your man~ It is what it is~ so address it, but be ready fro the fall out when you do~
That is nice that he did do some things after you did argue and fight. My husband and I get into it a few times a week, and I stopped asking him to care more. Not saying that to make your situation seem like it’s not bad. The fact that you’re 20 weeks pregnant and feel that way is awful 
I wish I had advice but my relationship really isn’t good either… 
Good luck to you mama.
Don’t blame yourself first off! Secondly they are his kids to so he needs to step up & help with them! We have 6 kids between the ages 14-1 yes you read that right 6 kids… My husband is a blessing he works full time 60 hours a week & still comes home & gives the kids baths, helps with homework & even cooks for me sometimes! He’ll wake up early on the weekends & let me sleep in! We had our last 2 kids just a year apart & I felt horrible about myself when I was pregnant with my last baby mostly because I was just getting back into my normal not being pregnant life when I got pregnant again (it was planned cuz we have 5 boys & wanted to try one last time for a girl & yes we got our princess 
) but he never ever let me feel unwanted ever… He did everything to make me feel just as good about myself as I did when we first met… He should be their for YOU & HIS KIDS… He need to spend time with you guys even if it’s just ordering food in & watching a movie… Don’t let him make you feel like it’s your fault he helped make those kids & he chose to get married! His friend needs to know boundaries to cuz im sure he has a lot to do with this to from what your saying… Don’t let him make you feel like this & if he wants to be a single man that gets to do whatever he wants when he wants then make him single. He should be doing all those things with you guys NOT his friend! His friend should be the one that gets the once in a while attention NOT you!
A lot of people are saying gay or affair which sadly is possible. But men like hanging out with men. They are sorry to say it ladies easy going. I find myself as the nagging wife. So he is abusing his right to free time since it took both of them to make those babies. I’ll say it again take the car leave him the kids. If he wants free time then you two make a schedule that is fair and you both get free time. And schedule with the kids and you. I know you shouldn’t have to schedule it but he is who you married and unless your going to leave him demand it. Grab the keys leave. Other wise generally people don’t change so for better or worse you have to decide what to do for you. If you feel down about how you look change it for you. Have you met this friend? Again I’m sure the two of them can hang out while you go out if that is so important to him. If you feel like he is cheating the that’s a whole other thing
Have his best friend get in there and watch the kids and clean house to give you a day off since he wants to treat him like they’re married. This isn’t right. I’ve been through my fair share of men having bromances and taking it a bit too far but I really don’t feel like this is the same thing. Time to question your husband’s sexuality.
Sounds like your husband has a boyfriend😬its not normal at all
Really sounds like there’s something more going on w him and his friend to me… Like they’re dating
Are you sure this is a friend and not a ‘friend’?
Update us when you have talked to him!
It sounds fixable to me. You aren’t feeling yourself but it will really help YOU to get dressed each day, showered and fresh. You don’t have to put on makeup unless you feel like it. But getting ready for your day for some reason does perk you up some. You are working hard and he’s working hard. The rough part is you have no outlet and he does. You can mix that up. He sounds willing. I bet you will see a change ince your attitude about how you are feeling about yourself changes. I hope it goes well. 
I’ve been a sahm, was one for 10 years. I completely understand where you are coming from. I honestly hope things work out for you.
I agree with Megan Egan he just threw money at you to really shut you up. Its nice you got that but not how you got it and you should have gotten him to say, this weekend we’ll do something together and maybe another day all of us. You need date night and a family night for ALL of you. Hes emotionally disconnected and neglecting you. Now I cant say for sure that I know he is stepping out but a lot of the red flags are there. If things don’t get better, may I suggest counseling if not for the two of you then at least to help you work things out. Yes, its nice to dress up once in awhile but if he doesn’t bring you out anyway I get why you are losing confidence. I have been there, it’s disheartening. It breaks you. You deserve more than just bare minimum. Work on you and watch him. I dont mean get paranoid and play house detective but be smart and look for those red flags that he may be cheating and not just seeing a friend. Men these days call the women they “connect” with “friends”. It may be nothing but only you know how he makes you feel. Use your gut and listen to your instincts. Good luck mama!
maybe he hasnt came out yet??? Sounds to me like hes having an affair…if that was another female would he be so open about it??? YOU are supposed to be his #1. As well as HIS kids!!! Youre literally doing it as if ur single. And if thats the case kick his ass to the curb!!! Dnt bring yourself down over a man. NEVER!!! You are an Amazing beautiful independent woman who GOTS THIS!! if he cant realize what youre worth find someone who will. Because believe it or not hes out there. You just cant see that because right now youre not youre priority. But you should be. Make him stay w the kids one night. Go stay in a hotel. Take a nice long hot relaxing bath. Throw in some bath bombs. Get yourself a bottle of whatever it is you like to drink and chill. All night. Alone or w a girlfriend maybe. Listen to music, dance, do whatever you want that makes you, YOU. But for just a moment make it all about YOU. Dye your hair, do your makeup, buy a new outfit and some cute shoes to match. But let it just be about you for once. If your husband cant take you out take yourself out. Fuck him girl. Hell be crying for you later. Dnt let him walk all over you. Its not hard to have one date night w your WIFE once a month if your giving your boyfriend the rest of your attention. I chopped all my hair off after dying it red for the last two years. I literally cried while i got my hair cut. And the whole time my bf kept telling me how pretty i look. And i know he was just saying that to be nice but at least he tried. I looked like the seed of chucky no fuckin joke!!! My hair ks barely starting to grow out and its only been maybe a month. For the first 2wks i cried everyday because i felt so ugly and knew i wasnt. And my bf would tell me how beautiful he thinks i am. If your man cant give u the time of day because another man has his attention, girl get yourself a new man. You don’t deserve that and your kids definitely dont deserve that. I hope everything gets better for you. And never think youre not beautiful because you are!!!
Do what I did. Make you and the kids so busy and unavailable as he does. I mean very busy, schedule play dates, outings with out him. Buy tickets to things He will get the drift and gets a taste of his own medicine!
Sounds like the friend is more than a friend and having an affair…or the friend is covering for an affair. Definitely not normal activity. My husband kept himself busy away from our home and it didnt seem right the way he was acting. He was having an affair the entire time.
I’m glad I wasn’t the only one thinking he was gay .
That’s his boyfriend
I think you definitely should take more care of yourself, but not because of him or to please him. Do it for you, to please YOU. It seems like he’s dating this guy. Another reason for you to invest in yourself, mentally and physically. Especially with a little one on the way.
He HAS an obligation with his children, he has to give his children attention. There’s no if and buts, he wants to go out with his friends? Okay, after he takes the children out. Talk to him about it.
Good luck Mama, and remember, you bore 3 children! You are strong 
! Working from home and going to school and pregnant!!! You are awesome, tell your husband to step up.
That sounds like an affair honestly
A marriage takes two people! Sounds like life has gotten busy for yall. Take time for yourself and do some of the things you use to do for yourself. Communicate with him with out nagging that you would like to do things with him. Communication really is key. Yes it does seem like he really cares about his "friend " but your family should be more important. If it’s not maybe yall should seek counseling.
Heck nooo… If he trys to leave for the weekend with his " friend" co worker ( whomever) he is either Gay or has a girlfriend & the co worker is the cover. But when he came home to get ready to leave or Gets up Saturday morning to leave he would get a SURPRISE because I would already be ready have a plan in place and Be Gone in the Car the Entire weekend and let him stay home with the kids ALL WEEKEND LONG … do not call, do not go home, and give this man a dose of his OWN MEDICINE … You can TALK until your Blue in the Face but Some people you have to SHOW THEM… Do Not be a Door mat, your Husband needs to be brought back down to REALITY yall made a Commitment, yall made these Kids and No Where did it say that You signed the marriage certificate to sit home, do without, raise your children by yourself and that he can go anywhere and go anything he pleases… No Mam . You might as well be Divorced with Child Support and can pay for sitters to be able to do things also… Show him… leave him ALL WEEKEND WITH THE KIDS SNEAK OUT PUT A MONKEY WRENCH IN HIS PLANS TO RUN OFF… GIVE HIM A TASTE IF WHAT HE HAS GIVEN YOU… DO NOT CALL AND DO NOT GO HOME UNTIL SUNDAY NIGHT 10PM OR MONDAY MORNING 5AM… SHOW HIM He is selfish, inconsiderateand does not value you or your children he is taking it all for granted that you will just put up with it !!! ( because you have)…- Show him that you won’t… otherwise Welcome to your Life until you get tired of it Enough to leave…
One thing I’ve learned is that you can’t expect anyone to love you if you don’t love yourself first! Go get your nails done or something for yourself. I know it’s hard, we have five kids with the youngest being 3 months old.
He needs to understand that you are time deficient! My goodness, you have more on your plate than most COUPLES can handle and he needs to spend his extra time helping at home. Maybe then you’d have time to worry about spending a little time on yourself. He’s being very selfish. If he thinks his friend is lonely, he can invite him over to hang out. You and the kids are his responsibility, NOT his friend. He should try and do ALL the things you are. He wouldn’t make it 2 days and he’s not even pregnant.
Definitely gay 
Have you voiced this to him before or was last night the first time? You can’t expect him to read your mind and know you are upset or know why you are upset. And the same goes for him, if he feels like you have let yourself go and that that’s a problem in your marriage then he should be voicing that to you, not waiting for you to discover it on your own. Ask him for one weekend a month for just you and the kids. One weekend a month can be just a guy’s weekend and the other 2 weekends you can all do something together. If you don’t feel confident in yourself anymore than fix it. Just because your home all the time doesn’t mean you have to stay in pajamas. Put on a pair of jeans and a blouse, do your make up, do your hair. Look good for yourself. You don’t have to go out to have a date night. Make a nice dinner and after the kids are in bed eat dinner just the two of you by candlelight. Do things that you guys can do together at home when the kids are in bed. Watch a movie.
I would have had a whole other response had it been… He gave me a gift card & made the plans for ALL of us…
I def am with majority that this isn’t ‘normal’. It’s one thing to have friends,it’s another to just abandon your life completely for said friends; and only when his pregnant wife cries does he even remotely respond…
I wish you the best dear & a resolution that makes life more enjoyable for you & your children. 