He wants the woman back that he married. If he let himself go, dirty shirts, sweat pants, hair sticking up you’d not like that either. Try being his girlfriend again. Meet him at the door with a smile and a kiss. He needs to step up and help some but you choose (both of you did) to have four kids back to back. Or simply tell him he has to leave the car. Then get in it and go do something. Maybe if he See’s you doing something outside the house he might want to join you.
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Now, me and my husband dont get to spend a lot of time together, and while I miss him I understand why and I am an introvert so I dont mind the alone time. BUT (and this is a big one) my husband is gone all the time because he is working. He is working all the time and he works 3rd shift, so when he isnt working he is sleeping. When we were younger, and I was pregnant, he was spending time with his friends a lot and while I didnt mind, once I started declining during my pregnancy he cut it off, and he has been by my side. If you confronted your husband and he just threw some crap at you to “fix” it, then you need to figure out what you want to do. I would try what others suggested, make yourself unavailable like him. “Oh hey baby wanna, you know?;)” “nope, I gotta do xyz”. If he doesnt care, then you need to start lining up those ducks because theres something deeper to the story.
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His answer was to bring you and the kids lunch (did he sit down to eat with you?) and give you a gift cards so YOU and the KIDS can go do something ( again he is not involved). I don’t know if he is gay but he definitely has another strong interest and commitment that is NOT YOU or his KIDS! Your first mistake was allowing him to constantly go away with friends wherever and whenever he feels like it. When you got married, he made a commitment to put you first and once you had children, they should’ve become his next priority. His hanging out with friends and coworkers should be limited to say one night a week maximum (ideally once a month, with a wife and four children) and trips out of town (lol) no (LMAO) no more than once a year. When is the last time you went on a family vacation? You probably can’t afford one with all his gallivanting! Why is it not important to have a “date night “??? Even couples whose partners aren’t out every night with other friends, find it beneficial to their relationship to spend a night at regular intervals where they put down all of their day to day work, problems, etc and just focus on each other and enjoy each other’s company to keep the home fires burning. If your husband is not seeing someone else (make or female), then he is just a selfish, manipulative ASSHOLE and you are his puppet. Get tough or get out!
Well I read all your ideas maybe if she got out of her sweats once in awhile show him she cares about herself and he would maybe more caring we have only heard one side
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Having an affair with the friend… You can’t force him to want to spend time with you. He may do it begrudgingly, but you don’t want that. Might be time to take the kids and move on to happier things.
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I was in this exact situation, and then found out his friend was an excuse for him to be gone so he could cheat. Also, don’t take monetary gifts in place of his presence. My ex attempted to do the same. Well its okay if I’m gone if I buy you gifts or bring you food. Ha. No. Do not blame yourself for him not trying. Someone who loves you is gonna love you, sweatpants or not. Keep in mind hes not just presenting an unfair situation to you, this is also unfair to your children. Theres no place in the world my husband and I wanna be but with each other and our 2 babies. Being stuck at home all the time and not feeling like you have a reason to get yourself put together because it feels like no one will notice or care is such a recipe for disaster. I’ve been there. I would be telling him that if he doesnt start being more attentive to his wife and family, you’re gonna duece. Abuse em and you lose em 
there is someone out there who will appreciate you and your kids if he wont.
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Obviously, I meant maLe or female
Ok. I’m in the same boat but all of our kids are grown. It’s to the point it doesn’t matter if I dress up or wear makeup. He doesn’t notice but that doesn’t mean your man won’t. You need to tell him things have to change and your not happy. You have 1 life and you cant spend it hoping things will get better. You have to make it better for you and your kids.
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Sounds like a boyfriend to me… Idk how the relationship is between you and ‘his friend’ but how does he act around you and the kids or around your husband in front of you. Maybe try inviting his friend over for dinner or maybe make plans yourself and invite your husband and his friend along and see how they react if they turn it down then something is up
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Gay or he’s cheating and his friend is the cover.
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While it’s a common struggle for a couple to find a balance between work and socialization for both people in the marriage…the activities he’s doing with his guy friend are what i find odd. Most guys go get a drink together, play sports, play games online, etc… What guy goes to museums or aquariums alone with another guy FOR FUN? And doesn’t go with his family? There’s more going on here…they’re either dating or he’s seeing a woman behind your back.
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Sending you so much love & support right now. I’m old, but in my Mother’s Day & age they called it the 7 Year Itch. Honey, please take a few minutes to get straight on this. This is HIS problem, that is destroying YOU. It feels so horrible! So today, just FOR YOU, do at least one small thing YOU enjoy. And again tomorrow. You have forgotten your worth. And NO ONE CAN HELP YOU BUT YOU. It feels awful to accept this, but then you can take back the steering wheel on your own life. I went through this & 2 of my daughters have as well. Hang in there, hold on & remember… today is for YOU & those beautiful children. Dad may be missing from their lives, but YOU ARE THERE FOR THEM. You are worth so much more than you know. Messenger me anytime. Now go do something YOU enjoy.
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He’s a jerk none of this is your fault. you’re good enough to get pregnant but he’s not good enough to spend time with you I think that’s kind of ridiculous your kids and you come first not his friends
I promise if you fix yourself up and start going out with one of your friends that shit will stop. Be confident.
- He’s sounds straight gay or he’s bi.
- Yes you should take care of yourself more but for you not for anyone else.
3 you are feeling the way you are because his actions how your feeling is a reflection of how he treats you. - If he would spend time with u like he does that dude maybe things would be better he needs to get the rock out of yalls way and put you and your kids first PERIOD…
YOU GOT THIS THOUGH NO MATTER HOW IT GOES REMEMBER YOUR A MOMMA AND YOUR KIDS LOVE YOU BUNCHES.
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Do it for you not anyone else get dressed up do your hair makeup and take a picture of yourself send it to him at work make you happy you are beautiful from the inside out and you deserve the best you got this momma peace and blessings
4 kids… 6 and under? I wouldn’t want to be there either. I’m not at all trying to be mean! We have 4 boys, 13-2… and just last night I got home and she said something like calm down. Uuummm I work in chaos and I come home to chaos… so I totally get why some guys/women get burnt out and doesn’t want to be home. Or connect. I’m guilty. My husband texts me 800 times a day. And wonders why sometimes I don’t answer… Bc I’m burnt out. Cut him some slack.
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Just as soon as this baby is born, Get on birth control. You do Not need another child.
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Love dare book
fireproof movie
self care is important
Quality time together is important
Do you have family to watch the kids if so ask them to and just take a day to yourself whether you get out or not but the break would do you some good and then you need to sit him down and talk to him without a break down have a serious talk about who’s the most important person in his life and tell him all you want is just some of his time on the weekends and that you want to do a family day one day but in all seriousness you don’t have to leave the house to have a date night either you can enjoy each others company doing anything
Honey, homeboy is gay.
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It sounds crazy, but first best step of advice I always offer to my friends is tweak your diet. Cut out sugar and unhealthy “empty” items for healthier nutritionally sound options. add a protein shake (vegan🤢 or soy) at night a couple hours after dinner so you skip the night time “everyone else is finally asleep” binge. It’ll put your sleep patterns on a healthier track as well as you within weeks of consistency. Next carve out your me time before everyone gets up and after everyone goes to bed…shut off the WiFi if you have to that is not what you need!!! Take a bath, do some yoga, my personal favorite is meditation and deep breathing exercises, cleanse yourself mentally twice a day every day however you need to. If you are super stressed there’s now yoga for the angry stressed peeps. I promise these 2 steps will help all else fall into place. It’s like stepping stones for rebuilding you, but you are the one that knows the order and all I can truly say is one at a time.
As for the hubby he’s escaping for a reason. It sucks, mine did it to but for other women…lots of them. Every day for 30 consecutive days (restart the count over after every failure) pay him a compliment or do something special for him and walk away expecting nothing. If y’all fight you walk away until you’re both rational again and handle it with empathy and understanding of his side before explaining yours. Do something he asks or expects of you, even if it’s some me time he sees that you desperately need but you’re like where in the hell do I find the time for that…find the time! He’ll notice the improved you and so will you with just a little pampering each day. Heck I add scented Epsom salts to my bath and even my kids notice I’m happier. Heck give yourself a bonus point if it’s a sexual act:face_with_hand_over_mouth:
Expect nothing in return, but acknowledge and be grateful of what is given every single time without over dramatizing it. It’s important to realize that even if you are a complete angel in your marriage you are doing this to draw him back in and just because it’s something that he should be doing one of you has to be the bigger person that fights for the family. Family alone doesn’t keep a family together anymore. Most importantly 
never throw what you’ve done in his face as a weapon and don’t let him know there’s a time frame because then the genuine nature is lost and the benefits are replaced with more mistrust then love. It’s not trickery/manipulation in any way it’s simply a way to “factory reset” your love and desire to be initimate and a team again…ohh and trust me if it works you’ll all be getting it on before the 30 is up:+1:
P.s. You tweak it all for whatever y’all issues are and I promise it does work. He’ll start paying you compliments back, kind gestures, helping out more and participating. It’s pretty cool it’s just relearning that your partner is not you and especially after creating multiple kids both partners feelings, identities, needs, etc can and do easily get lost or forgotten. each of you is an individual that requires different approaches to showing each other how you feel, fight, love, etc. it’s just that time for both of you to relearn how to communicate after creating a family. It comes up again later in the marriage when they all move out as well. Communication is key, but having your partners respect, appreciation, and love as well devotion is hands down necessary for the two of you to want as well as master learning how to communicate again after kids.
P.s.s. Most of this I belive comes from 2 books The Divorce Remedy & The Five Love Languages. It’s been many years since I’ve read them and I’m sure many more have hit the shelves, but grab a few and devour them they are great ways to realize you are one in many million facing pretty much the same issues. It is all fixable (unless there’s abuse, drugs, excessive infidelity…anything that can and will harm y’all then run and let the professionals fix him).
Sorry for the massive message! I hope some of not all can help ya. Best of luck mama!
I think that if you have to doll yourself up for a guy for him to like you then hes a douchebag 
I can understand looking nice if yall are going somewhere but if you’re home all day then what’s the point unless you WANT to.
What you should do is make plans without the kids. Find a friend to go out with. A local mom, old friend from school…anyone. Tell him, dont ask him, and go have fun! Do whatever makes you happy. Have some drinks, go to a club, dinner, a movie…anything. if he wont watch the kids then hire a sitter.
Do you have 2 vehicles? If not I would seriously consider getting your own vehicle. You will drive yourself mad just sitting around the house
Also… and this is just an opinion…I’d be concerned about how much time hes spending with this “friend.”
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And dont listen to people who say maybe if u got dressed for him because that just means next your gonna have to schedule a day to get dressed he already said date nights are pointless like no you are perfect start getting dressed and do it for you love yourself be a happy momma so you can be a happy momma for your kids. A guy isn’t promised for ever but your kids will love you forever. Women are not just here to have sex we are to be loved cherished also especially if your carrying his kid I give my opinion because I’ve been in your shoes before.
He needs to man up. Going out with friends is great once in awhile. But what he’s doing is basically running away from his responsibilities and leaving you to pick up the slack which is unhealthy. Been there, done that. Life isn’t always fun and games. You have to pull up your big girl panties and tell him he either needs to be there for you and the kids or gtfo. He is an adult and a parent. If he wants that carefree, single life he should’ve thought of that before. There is nothing wrong with YOU. This is on him because he should be focused on HIS FAMILY. not his friend. Dont doubt yourself because he is being an ass.
Maybe hes in love with his friend? 
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Might want to ask your husband how he feels about his sexuality dear.
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Maybe it’s more than a friendship?
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Sounds like he is in a relationship with his friend 💁
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I feel like it’s him. He’s gay.
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You have 3 kids under 6 are currently pregnant with #4, you cant be expected to be dolled up 24/7. If doing that would make you feel more confident in yourself and comfortable, then you should definitely do it. You mentioned things like coloring your hair and getting your nails done, if you guys have the money for him to basically be taking this “friend” on what sounds like expensive dates without you, you can use that money for yourself too (pro tip I have never heard of a guy going to museums with his guy friends as a way of relaxing, that’s something they do on dates with women or as a family event. Unless your husband is an ultra nerd and that’s where you found him on a friday night with his buddies when he was single, I would be a little concerned about that).
Remember your worth, because you are worth more than this. He doesnt get to run around acting single having fun staying out and leaving you to be the sole parent 24/7. You guys made these kids together, I’m assuming committed to raising them together, he doesnt just get to dip out because hed rather go hang out like a high schooler on the weekend with his buddy. Hes an adult, with a family, time to start acting like it.
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It really sounds to me like he may be in a relationship with his friend.
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Why do you let yourself get pregnant again if he is like this . I hope you get help to understand this . Good luck .
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I’d want to ask him further about is “friendship” with his so called friend. Hes got to have feelings for the guy and being a grown man with a wife and kids it wouldn’t be the easiest thing to admit
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I couldn’t see all the replies, but his friend is a make, right?
If he has more interest in his friend than his family. Something is really going on. Either he is gay. Or having an affair. You need to find your self. I don’t mean your hair or your nails or your sweat pants. None of that matters. You need to figure out what you want out of life. Let your child be born in peace. Then go to work on what you want
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Use the gift card to pay someone to watch the kids for a few hours and follow him. Or hire someone to follow him.
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Your need to love you for you. I color my hair and my man hates it. He loves my hair and embraces the gray for me. 
he doesnt like high maintenance women. He likes that i just need to put on eye liner to be happy. And yoga pants are good enough. At home you bet i dress down. I dont have to impress my kids.
To be honest u should take better care of yourelf not just for him but itll help you feel better too… if he is being considerate of your needs now that u spoke to him about it then hes trying… maybe he didnt know u felt it was a problem
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Woah! This sounds like a scene from Brokeback Mountain!
Seems your husband may be having an affair with this guy, or using him to cover for an affair with another woman. Either way… he’s not investing in you OR his children and you should put an end to that ASAP!
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Even if you let yourself go, what your husband said is disgusting. Makes me wonder how many red flags you passed with him in past and kept having more kids anyway.
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Are you sure he is with that friend? And is not with a woman when he tells you hes with the friend
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First of all stop Reading all the negative feedback you dont need that second you allow for all the things he does or he wouldnt do them it’s not controlling him it took for you to talk and cry for him to feel moved that’s not going to work all the time it shouldn’t you need to calm yourself ask yourself what you want and then speak with him and put your cards out in the table if he feels you dont need date nights he doesnt need friends nights. Take a weekend for yourself leave the kids with him and pamper yourself little by little start taking care of you because you wont be able to function around your little children they will see and feel what you do if things dont start to change then take it upon yourself to change it not for you for your children too enjoy them in your activities even when it seems your with them 24/7 he is missing out on it it’s hard being pregnant but he needs to also see the other side of being alone with out his family do what you feel is right for you and your children because as women our hearts will break but to see our children’s hearts breaking for an absent parent is the worst. You asked if you changed would he change. The real question is should you change for yourself ? Dont change for others do things for you because you will feel better look better and have strength to do the things you need to for your kids. Hope you find your answers 
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Umm. he might be gay!
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As others have said, he’s having an affair. Either with the friend or using the friend as a cover. While I think you should take care of yourself to boost your own self esteem, doing it for him will not fix anything. You shouldn’t have to look like an instagtam model to have him be loyal and spend time with you. Again, I do think it would boost your own confidence to do something for yourself even if you just paint your own nails or style your hair differently, just to make yourself feel good. I don’t know what you should do about your husband because he’s likely to lie if you confront him. I’d work on a plan to leave him. You and your children deserve better.
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I think like most of these other ladies you need to follow him and see wars really going on. To me sounds like therevus more between him and his friend or … there is no friend and he is having a affair with A. His friend or B. Another women
Girl I’m going through kind of the same thing and I’m going to tell you from the bottom of my heart, leave him now. It will only get worse trust me. He will never learn. I’ve tried for years to get my kids dad to understand how I felt but it was like it went in one ear out the other. Don’t put yourself through such pain because trust me when I say it gets harder to let go the longer you stay. You need to leave and work on yourself. Work on loving yourself, find yourself again, get excited for life.
I’m sorry for what you’re going through. But unfortunately, it really sounds like there is way more than a friendship with this guy. You might just be a beard.
There isn’t anything you are doing wrong. You’re husband needs to be honest with himself and with you.
Unfortunately it sounds to me like he has already left the relationship with you, and found a new relationship. Now this may not be the case, he could just be one of those guys that is totally oblivious to the fact he has a family that needs him to be there, not just the financial support aspect. I would flat out ask him if there is a point in the relationship anymore. If he would rather be with his friend or you. His actions will speak volumes and you can make a decision from there.
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My husband would never be constantly spending money and time with his friends, because he likes my vagina. We have 3 kids. You have to find time to be sexual. This is all on him honestly I cant imagine my husband says date nights are a waste and then proceed to have a man date every weekend… weird weird weird
Take the kids and walk away, hes no longer invested in the family life. Hes either playing the field or he wants out… and always wake up shower and get dressed no matter what your doing that day. Go for a walk, take the kids to the park, dont sit and dwell on his shit, its not worth it. You need to be there for the kids and your unborn plus yourself, because hes not
You need to boost your own self esteem. When you feel better about your self then your self doubt will start going away. Take a little time each day just for you. I have 5 kids and after they go to bed just taking 5 mins to do my nails really helps or waking up a little earlier so I can put my makeup on and do my hair.
I’m not saying hes gay or has another woman…but one things for sure…he doesn’t want to be at home. Sounds like he may be trying now though, maybe he didn’t know you felt that way. Always say how you feel, dont hold it in, ask questions, it’s your life…you deserve to be happy.
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Sounds like your husband makes decent money and is able to go out and spend it all with his friend. I’d leave, and get child support and spousal support and then sit back and observe how much is then able to go out with his “friend.” It sounds like you’ve been doing your best, and if it’s not enough to get his attention, time to move on to bigger, better, and happier things. Wishing you luck!
Definitely take care of yourself for you and no one else. Sadly, there could be more going on between him and the friend or theyre out doing stuff they shouldnt be. Of course its nice to hang out with a friend but that seems like lots of time together and the fact that you guys dont do anything as a family is very unhealthy.
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I’m going to go with them and say he may be gay
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In my opinion, maybe working on yourself should be #1. Yes, there are kids to care for, but u must also love yourself. Take time at least ONCE a month to do something for YOU. You love him…and he loves you, yes??? If so…tell him that once every month, there is going to be a date night. Regardless on what he thinks. It’s good to have. Even just grab mcdonalds, take a drive and be alone, together for a few hours. It doesnt have to be crazy, but its important for the relationship to have time together. Work on loving yourself too. You must give yourself the attention you deserve from you. Do that hair, buy a cute new outfit, go get those nails done, go get a massage…whatever it is that makes you happy. A happy mom is the best kind of mom. We work ourselves like crazy and feel stupid and ashamed when we feel we need something for ourselves. That whole thing needs to stop. It’s not healthy.
Talk to him again…tell him what the plan is going forward. No more “asking”…just say “hey babe, so on _____ , we are gonna go for dinner. I got a babysitter. I’m going to buy a new outfit for the date night”! Dont make it as a yes or no conversation…just say how it is.
If then he is still pushing away…ask him to tell you flat out WHY…no bs answers allowed. Tell him u want the honest to god truth…no worry about feelings…just be straight up.
I did this with mine, and he said it was lack of intimacy. I told him I didnt feel cared for, no attention, no appreciation, I felt he didnt want anything other then sex and I wasn’t down for that. I wasnt happy so why give the sex…so we had a huge talk, and we are still working on things, but it is better.
I told him to not care about my feelings , I just wanted the truth so I knew where to go from there. And he gave it to me. Some of it hurt, but I sucked it up and had a conversation. It was hard. But it was necessary.
Talk…listen…and be real with each other.
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4 kids within 6 years is a lot. Maybe it’s just too much for him and he’s being irresponsible because he can be. Maybe try counseling to see what’s really going on. He did seem to hear you the other night. How old are you two? Is he just immature?
Marital counseling. Do not delay. Your husband should not be prioritizing some dude over his wife and children. Occasional outings are one thing, but all the time??? No. Everything you’ve described is horribly unfair and you both need to see a therapist.
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Ok, so I’m gonna say first off you need to take care of yourself. Not for him, but for yourself. I will also say I agree with these other ladies. He may be having an affair, whether it be an emotional affair or physical with this friend or even another woman. I would sit down and talk to him.
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Don’t let him drag you down, fix yourself up, get a babysitter and go out with a friend for dinner or a show or both. Orrrr, tell him he and his friend can babysit while you have some fun time too.
Buy your own car. Go and do things with the kids. Or hire a baby sitter and go out and have a day for you. Don’t be sitting around waiting for him to make you happy.
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So he spends time with his BOY friend…
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Sometimes the best way for men to see things from your point of view is to do the same thing they are… Maybe you should make plans on weekends to go out and leave him home with the kids let him see what you deal with well he’s out having fun every weekend.
He is a absent father and husband and doesn’t care or value your well-being.
He wants you to be there like a trophy that serves him but doesn’t care beyond that.
You are a person.
He should either step up or go away, but at least you will not have to put up with being stuck in limbo and can have your own life.
Of course he may give a bit to begin with thinking that you will “get over it” but then he will start manipulating and shaming you to get you to give in so he can go back to having the life he wants at your expense.
Be prepared for the kick back after he has them once or twice
“Oh it doesn’t matter what I do it’s never enough, it’s always take with you, I do and give so much” etc, and he will tell everyone that he tried sooo hard and flip it so you sound like a neglectful mum when all you want is some time to yourself.
(And this might be you just going for coffee with a friend but toxic people are toxic and facts don’t matter)
And it’s after YEARS of you giving but expecting anything back comes at a heavy cost and they will either learn, or use it as a excuse to escape because you have become demanding and self centred… (asked for a tiny bit of what they have and stopped serving them because you have worn yourself out)
This is just a very common reaction.
Consider this, how much longer can you live this way and what will be the outcome, you are leaving your life in the hands of someone who has treated you like this and you will become more vulnerable as time goes on.
You can give him a chance but you have seen the reality of what he is and you have to stick up for what life you want and don’t forget that.
And be prepared for the new games that come when you stand up for yourself.
Take care.
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Is he really with a “friend” my husband always invites over his friends that don’t have family or nothing to do and offers me cook for them which I don’t mind at all. They want that family life experience I’m more than happy to involve them. He don’t like the type go out all time them and when he does he offers us to come along if we like. To me seems off but every relationship diff
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I wouldn’t jump to conclusions that he is gay. He could be overwhelmed with his life. Not that I’m giving him any excuse to not spend time with you guys. 4 kids is alot for anyone. Maybe he is just going through something mentally. I think self care will make YOU feel better and it may help with your relationship. Women dont realize that when you stop caring for yourself it also affects your spouse to.
Definitely do self care but for your benefit not his. Remember how good it feels to be self reliant and look for ways to accomplish that.
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Start making plans of your own and stating that this weekend we are doing “this” hopefully before he states he made plans. Tell him it’s not acceptable for him to be putting this friend first lonely or not. You guys are his family you guys should come first. Shouldn’t have to worry about dressing up for him he should love you and be proud of you with sweatpants on if not find someone who is. You can and should be comfortable and wear whatever you want
. If you want to dress yourself up for yourself then do it. Do it whenever not just for going out with him. Try to connect with some friends yourself. And inform him you will be using the car this weekend for whatever plans. Instagram models are mostly photoshopped of positioned in such a way they look skinnier or cant see their cellulite.
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He def gay and on the DL. Or he’s lying about who he is with…
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I’m wondering if he’s gay. Because that much time with another man and never with his family seems odd.
I hate to say it but I am also thinking he may either be gay and is exploring with his friend or he’s not being honest about where he’s going/ who he’s going with. Any man that spends that much time with another man instead of there own family is either gay or lying about who there with. Just come out and ask him. “Honey are you gay?”
Whether he’s gay or cheating with women or whatever the fuck’s going on it is doesn’t really matter. He’s still acting this way. You’re still hurting. That should be enough. Do you want a divorce? Give him an ultimatum. Do you want an open marriage? Ultimatum. Do you need a vacation? A car of your own? Some help with the children? Whatever it is, insist on your needs or else… whatever “else” is. Divorce? A fair wage? You don’t deserve this. No one does. He’s treating you like a goddamn servent, not a wife. not an equal. So why shouldn’t he pay you?!? Something that helped a friend was billing her husband for the hours she provided childcare/housework/errands etc. He wasn’t respecting her contributions or giving back. But those (pretty expensive) bills got it into his head that her time and effort is valuable. You work hard. Your contribution is no less significant than his and if he doesn’t think so… if he believes it’s ok to just leave everything up to you while he goes and does god knows what… no affection, no attention… if he treats you like a maid and nanny and not his wife… god damn it he’d better AT LEAST pay you! And fairly too! Because you’ve gotta be getting SOMETHING out of this relationship. You have needs. They are important. You are valuable. Make him fucking understand it!!!
Your pregnant tho hun, u don’t have the energy and time to dress up. Maybe he needs to reevaluate this situation and appreciate what it takes for a woman to carry and nurture children . It’s hard . When u have the baby sure , go back to all that but even then it’s difficult when u are parenting several kids , taking care of home etc. he needs to be graceful and merciful and see u for the woman beneath the chaos .
Take care of yourself for you and the kids only. Talk to your midwife or gp it sometimes helps just to have someone to talk to. Try inviting his friend over for dinner once a week/fortnight if he is that close of a friend he should start acting like an uncle.
Fix yourself up for you not him no one’s opinions matter its what you are happy with and that’s not ok hes a parent also me and my husband have 2 together 3 years old and 6 months we do everything togerher my husband has only gone out on his own a handful of times he works 12 or more hours in day most times if he goes to his friends me and kids are always invited to go and on his days off he rather be home with us and he spends as much as he can with the kids he knows there young and trys to get as much time with them as possible me and him only had one date since our kids wers born and that was my so 21 birthday that was over a year ago we are ok with it
Doesn’t sound like he wants to be married anymore, family is always first. He chose his friends. Get ur priorities straight , spend time with your kids
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Sounds like he might be gay… but it also doesn’t help that you don’t take care of yourself anymore. Make yourself get into a routine of keeping up with your needs and wants, it will help with confidence. Good luck!
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Talk with your doctor, you are depressed and may need something to get you back on board to help yourself. Doesn’t have to be long term just to enable you to care about yourself again. My husband always put his friend first and it hurts allot. He was not gay. I am glad he got you the gift certificate or whatever the gift was but you need access to the car too. I always had my own car. Is the friend single or married?
Sounds like he is having an emotional relationship with another person. What if this person was a woman? It would seem like he’s cheating. That’s exactly what he’s doing. He’s putting his friends needs before that of his family, and that is a form of cheating. That’s not to say they can’t be friends, but he needs to put you and the kids needs first. That’s what a marriage is. I have a feeling part of the reason you’ve let yourself go is because you aren’t getting the attention you need and deserve anyway, so why put in the effort. You should not have to put an effort into your appearance if your husband won’t meet you halfway. Plus you are pregnant. This should not be a time when you have to look your best. Your job is to think about the well-being of your baby you should be getting rest. If he can’t understand that, then he doesn’t sound like the type of man that is worth your time and attention. If he’s not willing to change, I would not waste any energy on him at this time. Focus on yourself, your kids, friends and family. Get through this time with your pregnancy and then when things settle down I would evaluate the relationship.
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Some guys are overwhelmed with what’s going on in their family and maybe cos you are pregnant again thinks that is what you want. You want your old man fight for him. Change your way of thinking start going out with the kids to the park or commu ity places where there is other mothers in same situation as you …your not trapped …get out there yourself bus it if need be . Maybe it’s his plan having you pregnant and stay at home he feels safe. Your decision.
2 men going to a museum together
I don’t know to many males who can handle four kids financially or emotionally. Are you really paying attention to your marriage at all?
Kick his ass to the curb
There is either more to their friendship or he is just using his friend to avoid you guys. My advice is to find yourself again for YOU. Do not worry about him or his needs for a while. Take those kiddos out! Meet some mom friends (I know this is much easier said than done.) Leave dad home with the kids for a night out. He is being really selfish.
Go on with your life 
Turn it to God. Mary Fullerton
Okay I do not know what in the foolishness is going on here but sounds like you are suffering from Postpartum depression as well as low self esteem from self inflicted isolation from the world. Apparently your husband truly loves his friend from your description(might want to keep a close 
on that).
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Leaving this group. If I want an advice counselor Ill write to Dear Abby. All I wanted from this page was holiday pix, etc. You people are nuts
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I don’t see why you even wanna stay with him when you’re already doing it alone, it’s on less mess to deal with if you get rid of him. You care so much for your family while he pushes you guys to the side, find the confidence in yourself to be the women and mom your kids need. They need a happy, well taken care of mommy (when I say well taken care of, I mean your soul & happiness) Do this all for yourself, not a selfish man who won’t care longer than a week. This “friend” should be coming over to meet his best friends family, him not even leaving the vehicle for you is ridiculous and fishy in itself. I’d put my foot down with this friend and ask my husband what’s truly more important (actions speak louder than words) and deciding what to do from there, either leaving or counseling.
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what in Sam hell kind of holiday page is this anyway ? Clearly they are not gonna have a very good Thanksgiving or Christmas. They will be to busy in the kitchen slaving for there men and 10 children. 
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Oooh baby you got so many problems. Stop getting pregnant so that you can prepare yourself for your children. Its not you
If you want to fix yourself up and work on your confidence, do it for YOU.
He shouldn’t spend all his time with his “friend”. He needs to make QUALITY time for you and your children. Instead of buying you lunch and giving you a gift card why not come home and say, Let’s go out and have a family day and hey honey I’m watching the kids Saturday cause I made you an appointment for a spa day."
Sweetie, it’s not you, it’s him!
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Well love I have been there before so what you need to do is put your big girl Jean’s on fix your pretty pregnant self up, dress your kids and start not being at home when he returns see once a man realizes you can function without them things starts to change. Spend time with your kids let that be your date night, your date morning or your date evening. Most of stop having more babies by a man who only thinks of himself because if he decides to leave you will only have your kids so start living as he is gone because in reality he has checked. Be a beautiful Queen and live your best life for YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN…
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Mine did this after 20 years. Kicked his butt to the curb.
Im concern that him trying will be temporary to shut you up. He’ll go back to his ways.
Would you want to stay with him? Would it financially/logically be easier to accept him the way he his. Vs putting the kids through a divorce/split time while they are young… Child support issues, etc.
You married him, you saw something in him. Fingers crossed he actually changes.
Suggest the friend visits at the house or half the time you and the kids go with. Its a compromise.
He is a selfish man that is running from his responsibility, DO NOT BLAME YOURSELF!! He should be giving you a reason to dress up!!!
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Why you keep letting him get you knocked up lady ?
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Sounds like he might like his guy friend a little more than he should… I’d call him out 
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Dude why is this being posted on this page? This is not a relationship or advice page?! Take your mess to one of those pages trust me face book has millions hahhaha