No judgement, BUT Imagine if you had to make the money, pay the bills, do the grocery shopping, do the laundry, do the bathing, do the cooking, & the cleaning…While I don’t have 7, I have 3. As a single parent a position like yours is truly admirable. While your husband contributes, he should also play a parent/partner role enough for the children or you to not consider him absent
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I had that issue w my dad. Mom did everything for him. Bc he ‘worked his 8 hours a day.’ How ever my hubby shares w the responsible . parenting is a compromising job. We work together getting thing done. You cant expect a women to do the 24.7 mommy w/o the same for dad.
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How about u get a helper, even it’s part time, just to at least minimize your daily chores, because he might be one of those that really gets exhausted when he comes from work
Wow you must be exhausted, poor you! Weekdays hubby gets home around 530pm and I expect him to bath and put our toddler to to bed each evening (which is basically 45 minutes worth of work) while I tidy up. On the weekends we are 50/50 most of the time.
I tell him I’m a full time mum, not cleaner, so my toddlers need come first and the cleanliness of the home we need to work on together. Besides I’m not a “stay at home mum”, we are out the house 80% of our day, so I’m working outside of the home like hubby 
I get that he’s tired but so are you, he’s still a parent at the end of the day.
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I always like to give the money to the lady of the house to balance and handle that. Also help as equals when it comes to the kids and house work. I enjoy working and would only except an allowance as needed for lunch or stuff like that but that’s of course only if she didn’t also make me a lunch of celery sticks, peanut butter sandwiches, chili’s or soups, or got creative with lunch brakes#meow
I’m a single mother, it’s hard as fuck. I have had a lot of health problems since his been born. There’s days where I’m in so much pain we’re I have to choose between getting a babysitter and going to the hospital or just to wait till the pain stop. Been to the point I’ve gotten out of surgery, and go pick my son up for a babysitters right after.
Moms are incredible. You staying at home is a full time job, doesn’t make you any less, and doesn’t make you not need a day for your self, or even an morning to sleep in.
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*my opinion. If he works and pays bills works all day he should come home to his wife and kids. Now his kids are his kids that has nothing to do with housework. He can help you with them once he gets home maybe put them to sleep spend some time with them… thats different.
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When my kids were little and I was a SAHM. I did all the household chores. Since he worked. He still did the yard work/snow removal or fixed things. But that was our arrangement. My kids also learned and helped alot(little kids were so eager/now as teenagersthey suck!
) . Even if it was just emptying the dryer or putting things in the dryer. Picking up toys, feeding animals etc. But I remember I mostly missed having adult time/conversations. Maybe you need to get out the house and he can manage the house 1 night a week.
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its a team effort. you could be wprking Nd taking care of gour kids by yourself. some women would dream to have your stay at home duties with a working man. and some men would love to come home to a well kept family and living wife. Dont complain about something you agreed to. i stead have a talk. communicate as much as you want free time. he might want to not go to work and worry about bills. figure out a weeknd trip just for you amd ur man. or even just u. same goes for him.as well.
marriage is a commitment, communication and comprehension. being a mother and maintaing a healthy clean family should not feel like a job. you should want to make sure your kids are fed and you should want to live under a clean safe roof as the husband should want his family to be fed and cozy.
team work and support wether emptional or financial…
listen to each other.
do all things with the love that said yes.
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Communication is so important. Every couple has their moral foundation that works for them. Most people on here can only view this from their beliefs(myself included) as your family grows your duties will grow just as his may at work if he grows. You are both people and I believe everyone needs time for themselves to not lose who you are and this needs to be Communicated and you should be able to have that. It sounds like he was trying, maybe just give eachother a night or day for yourself and start there to see if that provides a sense of relief for each of you. If it does Communicate further on the positive and grow from there.
His home and his kids also. He needs to realize that is is a forever thing. It definitely doesn’t stop when he comes home.
My husband works all day, I take care of the kids and do the daily stuff while he’s at work. When he gets home, we both do 50/50, we’re a team. And he never complains. Even some days he’ll just play with the kids while I get stuff done in peace and I’m super grateful for that!
Are the kids old enough to start helping? My mother started me on a chore chart very young, 7 I believe. May be something to consider.
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My husband and I both work, but it doesn’t matter if my husband is sore & dead tired he always jumps up to help with cooking/cleaning/parenting.
You chose to marry, and have kids with someone this simple minded, deal or leave
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I was single and worked 12 hrs a day, did farm chores, fixed every meal, coached baseball & basketball , attended every 4-H & FFA meeting, showed livestock & raised 3 kids and worked 2-12 he weekend shifts at a 2nd job
Count your blessings you have a partner that works and supports you…improvise & involve him ask for help in the kitchen(plan meals that require the grill & a beer)
Make more crockpot meals or casseroles…free up your time in the kitchen by starting things early
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My partner is the same , but he does the food shopping too, I have to pay Internet and rates out of my family payment, I don’t have friends, I don’t go out without him ,
Working may get you out of housework (on working days only)
But it NEVER gets you out of parenting.
He should at least have the kids so you can manage the house when hes home
I mean I’m a sthm and I do all the household chores as well! Idont see the problem if he were to stay home then he would do the same!
Idk. I’m a single working mom. I have to do it all for my kids and even help out my father and cook him meals every night. Its different for everyone.
Look into kratom for depression and anxiety 
it’s all natural and works
Ive been a single mom of 3. So I’ve done it ALL by myself for 13 years and counting.
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It takes 2. Its not always 50 50. Also knew his beliefs on how he wants his house ran
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Work his hour and stop when he does is what you could do. Being a stay at home mom I guess the home is your job. There is no true answer no that
I feel like I’m going to get hate for having a different view. If one person is working outside the home someone has to take care of the home. That’s sort of the deal. I mean this in the least hurtful way possible but is it possible that taking care of the kids and house is difficult because you are treating your depression with drugs and alcohol? Maybe some counseling would be helpful.
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I’m a stay home mom and my husband work so hard, we have 3 boys, one autistic, another with learning delay and add and another one with adha, side effects of a neonatal bacterial meningitis and neutropenia… i do clean and i cook, my husband come back from work straight to the bathroom to take a hot shower and change, yes, i do like to have a decent house and a nice dinner for him, he does help with the kids bathtime and to put them sleep, he does grocery shopping before come back home, he does help me with the laundry during weekends… i can’t expect from him to come back from work to clean the house and cook, i have 3 kids, they need to eat too and they need to be in a clean house…
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No girl that ain’t riqht men thinks they always riqht tho
But both have to work together either outside or inside our home
Share take care of kids he needs to help you or tell him that filling for divorce if he doesn’t get off his ass help you out with children , cleaning doing laundry cooking
I’m a sahm and my husband works. I do all the inside work that doesn’t involve heavy lifting, make sure bills are paid and do the homeschooling for the kids. Our children also have age appropriate chores. My husband does all outside work, and he helps with our bedtime routine. If I need help, he’s always ready and willing, but I hold myself to a particular standard. I don’t want my husband to work all day and then do housework, but I’m home all day. If I worked outside my home, it would be different. That’s just what works for us though.
Maybe a good idea to Get someone in to help for a few hours per week? That’s a lot x
Where did the extra 2 come from to make laundry for 7 people?
How can you do laundry for 7 people if you are a family of five?
Sounds a lot like my EX husband
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I’ve never had the privilege of being a stay at home mom. But, I am a career mom. I work a minimum of 40 hours a week. Usually more. I also do 90% of the housework because…well, I do it right. . I was laid off for a few months due to COVID. I did 100% of the housework and went back to school for my second masters and worked on finding another job. So, I am sorry, I do not see a reason for you to complain. Seems like if you stay at home, you should do the housework. Working moms do both. But, if it’s a problem for you and your family, then y’all can fix it however it works for you.
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You said you have 3 kids, but your doing laundry for 7? Who else lives with you then?
Please hun…he isn’t that fragile. I work full time and watch grandkids sometimes, pay bills and clean house and do laundry. He isn’t going to break. 
I think many working mama’s and dads think it’s a luxury to stay home. Many women do not choose it. Some just fall into it because before the kids are old enough to be at school for free day care is as expensive as the paycheck… you also have to take into consideration that it’s not like on TV. It’s not like mom groups and fun little outings and crafts. The house works triples because there are multiple people home 24/7. Most families don’t have the luxury to live comfortably and have money in an account to still have “me” time. Take those women who are spending 24/7 with their children. Who are stuck in the house 24/7 with their children. The chores are never ending. Yes. Their job is the home… but everyone who works outside of the home has a “shift” and is done. Not SAHM’s. The fact that the other partner feels that working a shift equates to a never ending job… is total bs.
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There are 2 of you in this marriage. 2 of you who made the children. You are not his maid, you are his partner. He is thier father. He is perfectly capable of helping you out with giving the kids a bath, putting them to bed, spending time with cooking dinner on weekends if hes not hone until late during the week. Throwing the dinner dishes in the dishwasher… etc… it should not be all on your shoulders. I doubt he would handle it well if you went back to work and he had the kids. Your marriage is a partnership, not a business agreement.
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Yeah husband and kids have to help it’s everyone’s home isn’t it !!!
It take two to make and raise kids. He needs to help. A marriage needs to be 100/100 for it to work both of you need to be putting in 100% in your relationship.
A marriage is 50-50 and you didn’t make your children alone so child care needs to be shared,or start charging for your services!
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I have been watching videos on Facebook that a guy name Demar i think his name is that might help a little.
I mean it’s your job. Literally. So do it 
I would LOVE this arrangement, but here we are 
.
Throw the whole husband away… period.
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I am sorry you are married to a man that does not value you
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I would tell him that why does he get to clock out and you don’t. Also remind him that back in those days there was cocaine in coke so yeah I could do everything too if I was ingesting cocaine all day. Not to mention that a lot of women had help. Maids and nannies were not that expensive and even the Proverbs 31 woman had servants in the house. A lot of the poorer class had family help with the chores. It was hardly ever a one person job. If I were you I would just not do everything. What would he actually do if you didn’t keep a perfectly clean house? You aren’t his servant so don’t let him treat you like one.
My husband has always been very understanding and helpful but the times when I was on bed rest he learned how much I actually did around the house and he had more sympathy for me.
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Throw the whole man away.
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Ummm if he works and you dont then the house is your responsibility wtf is wrong with you if you dont…
He should suck it up n help you more
I totally am on the same boat but without the fight. I think it got so bad this year for every mom who stays at home. I got 3 kids plus 2 step kids on weekends ( 3 or 5 kids all the time) so I always have everything to do. I feel guilty that I don’t do enough on some days. But what have helped me is ask my husband to let me go out once a week and a whole weekend every 2 months. This has been a great help. Maybe this is something you both can discuss. Rent a hotel and take a bath all night along. Be alone. Or be with your friends. Like giving yourself a bit of gas to last until next time you go out again.
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Remind him what year it is
I was raised by a single career Mom. She did most of everything. She also left a note on the table for me and my brothers. That sh*t better have been done before anything. Delegate the chores to the kids. Your husband is doing his part. Just my opinion.
Love and make time for each other.
No, you absolutely SHOULD NOT sacrifice yourself, your health, or your mental health for your husband’s belief that you’re a slave to care for his house, his children or his other needs.
If he’s turning to drugs and alcohol, and then guilting you into believing that it’s your fault bc he has to wipe his own kid’s butt, or wipe down a toilet seat, leave now. That’s mental and spousal abuse. Get out. Do not do that to yourself or your children.
If you had to hire someone to come into your home and do what you do, could you pay them? Because that’s the $$ value of what you do.
And in the situation you’re in, can you afford the medical bills from your impending health and mental health challenges to maintain this nonsense? Or the therapy bills for your kids? Do you want your daughters believing that they’re meant to destroy themselves for someone else? Or your sons feeling it’s OK to treat their partners like this?
You’re a person, not a robot maid. And people once believed the world was flat, and they got over it. He can survive getting over his stupid notion. And if he blames you for a substance misuse issue, save yourself and your kids and get out until he can get some professional help.
Hello the 50s called they want there personality back. No if you were working also your life wouldnt just stop after work. You would still have to do dinner and clean up work on home work. It takes two to raise a family and take care of a house and house hold. I mean shit its his home too dosent he care about it?. Unless you can hire some help?
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You should not have to deal with all of that yourself. This aint the fucking 1930 He needs to get in the game. So what he works cry baby. Shit thats what a MAN does. You are wearing yourself out mentally and physically. Dont let him wear yoy down like that
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Sounds to me like you are in a traditional, old fashioned type of situation where the man makes the money and the woman used to stay at home mom raising the children. I assume you knew what you were getting into before you chose to have five children. I would expect him to do the manly chores such as mowing the lawn or shoveling the snow, but the rest of those jobs are yours. His job is his 9 to 5. The home is your job. Of course they are also his children so he should spend time with them and if that includes having time to help with their bath or homework then he should. Maybe I am just old-fashioned, and I’m sure many of the young mothers on this site well completely disagree with me, and that’s fine if they do because we each have our opinion and that’s what you were asking for was other people’s opinions. I say do your job and be thankful you have a husband who can financially support you in such a way that you can be I stay at home mom. Just imagine for a moment if he could not afford that for you, and you had to work outside the home and still have all of those responsibilities inside the home. Count your blessings.
It sounds like he does help. He works full-time, handles the finances, and (by your own admission) helps around the house more since you’ve said something. I have 7 kids and stay home. My husband works full-time (usually 70+ hours a week). I do everything else. Sorry, guess I don’t see the complaint.
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My husband works as well while I stay home. I hold myself to a standard that because he provides such a wonderful life for myself and our children that I want him to come home to a clean house and a hot meal. I’d like to say calm but we have 3 sons and a large dog. Now, it by no means does this happen everyday - but he makes sure to acknowledge and appreciate that I try so hard for him because he does so much for our family.
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Probably see a therapist first since he’s against it. Not everyone can handle the same things the same way so if others say they’d do it all doesn’t mean you have to or should, we all need help and everyone’s circumstances are different. If he makes a mess as an adult he should be used to cleaning it up himself (you aren’t his mom too) and of course he had children so he should also help them and their messes. That’s the role of a parent. What would he do if you were working too?
Yea it makes sense for you to do more since that is your job you are there and he isn’t but at some point he needs to help a little even if it’s just his own messes or with at least one chore or one kid. If he wanted to just work he could have stayed with his mom and not have kids. These are all things he’d have to do if single or if something happened to you so he needs to be capable regardless. Staying home taking care of babies and kids is working and without any help or a break it’s not healthy, same as with everything. I’m sure he can appreciate y’all saving on childcare cost so he’s really paying you for that.
I’d just acknowledge when he does help and let him see and know how thankful you are and how much stress it takes off you so you can even have more time for him too. It could be beneficial for you both to work together to spend more time together.
You can also compromise and have him help on days he’s off or doesn’t work as hard or long ect… so you feel he’s helping and he doesn’t feel like it’s too much.
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I’d say that’s only bad if you never get breaks or anytime for yourself. If he gets a break from work you should be getting breaks for your job as well. And I am one that strongly agrees that parenting is a whole other ball game to housework. Two people made the baby two people help raise the baby. Neither should be raising the children on their own each parent has an important role in their child’s life.
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Well he is makeing all the money how old plate the kids cause I had five kids and do they got chores at 5 years or smaller sime should know how to pick up put away there toys if bigger then can do trash other stuff to help I made all my kids do chores yes a man I belive should have dinner ready right when he gets home and clothes watched. It you need alone time to can your parents help family and I belive a husband can help still he can help but if kids are older teenagers they can help I never crippled my kids or I take stuff away 6 older can help in house
The roles are reversed in my home right now. I work full time and my husband is temporarily unemployed. I would love for him to take over every house hold chore and me not have to do everything. He just doesnt not how to deep clean. Dirty dishes on the sink dont bother him. It’s so frustrating to go to work for hours and come home to a dirty house and no dinner no breakfast. I know being a stay at home mom sucks I’ve also done that role and honestly I wish I appreciated it more back when I was one. If you look at it as how many hours hes working a week and how many hours you’re working in your home it probably evens out. Of course he should help you more but me being the bread winner right now has opened my eyes to an opposite side I likely would have never seen. I’m exhausted and also stressed. My only advise is to be a team. Today’s society makes it seem like things should be this way or that. Compromise! Maybe take the clothes to a dry cleaners once a month to give yourself a break (it can sometimes be cheaper than you would think depending on your area) and then you and your husband can have that week to spend quality time together. I would so be a stay at home mom or just work part time if I could not because its easier but because I would get to be a mom more. There is nothing wrong with traditional roles. I know it gets mentally exhausting. If his job is so demanding he doesnt have the energy find other ways he can help. Maybe he could order dinner so you dont have to cook. Or he can ask his parents to take the kids for a night once a month? Just suggestions.
My husbands go to phrase is “You’re a WORK (because its work) from home mom, not a stay at home maid” which really helps me put it in perspective. When he gets home, he helps with the kids and never really cares about what I got ‘cleaned’ that day.
I stay home while my husband works as well. We have four children. If you treat taking care of your home as an actual job and get up and get busy, you can stay ahead of everything. I never understand posts like this. I’m usually going crazy trying to find something to keep me busy. I try to time dinner for when he gets home and after I get the dinner mess cleaned up, we have all evening together. Takes an hour to get all kids bathed. If I am feeling under the weather, he steps up and helps me. BUT on a regular basis, he should be responsible for taking out the trash and fixing stuff
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I think if one person is at home they should do the house work ect wether they are male or female 
And the one working shouldn’t have to hold down a full time job and then come home and do everything around the house! If u are a sahm or sahd then that’s ur “job” if ur not contributing financially or with house work/cooking then u are then like a child being kept and not offering anything back
The only thing I think he should contribute is being a good dad/partner but I still don’t think he should do house chores if he has a job and u don’t. I always done everything and now that I work we split it between us I’ll cook as I’m home first and while he will do the dishes after we have all ate and while he does dishes and hoover and I’ll get kids to brush teeth and get them to bed.
But just because u are a sahm doesn’t mean u don’t deserve free time or alone time it’s about balance, do what u can and if something needs to wait till 2moro so that u can go out for lunch or with friends ect then it can wait no ones ever died cos the laundry wasn’t folded 
he could even take the kids out so he gets to spend time with them and u get a break
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Feeling this Hun I’m going thru the same plus I’ve had surgery n my house is a shit tip but my partner only works weekends cause I have really bad health problems xx
Sorry, my mom had four kids under five. I guarantee my dad NEVER changed a diaper or washed a dish! You can solve this by simply going back to work and splitting the housework. Now, I’m not saying you don’t deserve some me time, you do. But what about him? He deserves a lot more credit than what you give him!
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You are lucky to stay home with your kids stop complaining…I have to get up a 2:30 am everyday to get my son ready to take him to the babysitter I don’t have the privilege to stay home like you I don’t complain about it but doesn’t mean the I don’t want to stay home with my son
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Arthur Sacluti read the comments
Marriage Counseling.
Don’t be lazy hahaha
I went through the same exact thing. Sit down and break down what it would cost if you had to pay someone else to come into the home and do EVERYTHING you currently do. I even went so far as to tell my, now ex, husband that since he refused to help I would be hiring someone to do the things he refused to help with.
I do agree with the above suggestion that you can have your kiddo’s pitch in and help around the house. When my youngest was 4 she LOVED washing windows and helping mate the socks. Granted it doesn’t turn out the way it would if I were to do it but it was definitely “good enough”. The other kids helped switch the laundry and fold it, cleared the table and helped put the food away, vacuumed the floors, and any other small tasks they could manage. I didn’t give them allowance but I did do a family night that each got to be in charge of what we did once a month.
No matter what you decide to do, don’t feel guilty for needing help. Being a mom is a 24/7 job, with no days off, no sick days, with no weekends to unwind, and quitting isn’t an option. You have a right to want help, and you’re allowed to feel overwhelmed!
Go luck momma!
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Numbering to keep thoughts in order. NOT to be hateful.
First: You said 7 people. That means 5 kids? You need to have your kids helping with housework. That helps lighten the load on both you and your husband.
Idk ages…but…
*picking up thier toys
*taking bathroom trash out
*putting thier clothes away
*vacuuming common areas or thier rooms
*sweeping common areas or thier room
*clearing and wiping down the table
If you havent assigned chores to your children. That is where I would start. Any child of after 5 can do/help with all of the things I listed.
Second. Pick your battles. I have been all over the board…I worked while my ex stayed home. I was a single parent doing it all alone. I worked while my now husband also worked. Now I stay home while he worked. We had a brief period where neither of us worked.
My ex expected me to do all the housework and take over caring for the kids (our son and his daughter) the second I walked through the door every day. Not just wanting help. I grew to hate him for it.
Not because he needed help but because the way he went about it.
With my husband…he works 8am (leaves around 715) and gets off at 8 (gets home around 830-840)
When he gets home…I ask him to put leftovers away after he’s gotten what he wanted for dinner.
If the kids are still awake and going crazy when he gets home I ask for help there too.
And I ask him to help take care of me…like putting my phone on the charger when he puts his on…refilling my water when he goes to kitchen for something else ect.
On his days off…
I ask him to keep an eye on the kids/keep kids entertained so I can focus on housework. I might ask him to do things like load the dishwasher, take the trash out, or switch laundry over. Things that lessen my work load but dont exhaust or overwhelm him.
Third. Perspective is a thing.
I’m home 95% of the time.
Hes at work 60%
Expecting him to do 50% of housework and child care would be unfair. It also leaves us with no time to spend together as a family or as a couple.
Personally…I’d rather get it mostly done while he’s at work. So we have time as a family when he’s home.
Just get a maid to once a month or twice a month.
She can do the big cleaning and it give you a chance to just focus on maintaining.
As for ur husband get him to help with the kids. That will give u a big break .
I advise you to get help such as counseling for both of you. I had this same problem and it cost me my marriage because I never got the help needed and I resented him for not helping. By the time counseling was mentioned he had someone else already and I no longer cared either way. If you love each other then work on it together. But HE should 100% be helping. You didn’t make children alone and you shouldn’t have to raise them alone-especially when the person you love is still there. Good luck and I hope you can work this out.
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First… WHT is he depressed? Because he has to help out? What nonsense! Yes he goes to work every day, yes he brings home the money but as a father and husband, that is not where his responsibility ends as far as I’m concerned. He helped make your children, he should help look after them. Being a mother and house wife is a full time job, you don’t work from 9 to 5, you work 24/7. Not saying he has to do everything when he gets home but he could see to the kids while you cooking dinner, play outside with them for a little while, get them into the bath, or ready for bed. I’m a stay at home mom and granny. I drop off and fetch my 3 grandchildren. My daughter and her 3 kids live with us at the moment as she’s going through a divorce so there’s 8 of us. I cook, clean and do washing for all of us but my hubby or my daughter will help do the dishes after dinner. My husband has a very physical job so he’s also tired but will still help and he cooks and cleans most weekends.
I worked full time and took care of a family of 6 with minimal help and it was not a chore. I’m a mom, I just do it. I also, didn’t find it hard personally.
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Get yourself another man.
Recently started doing this sahm thing and it is for the birds. But as far as cooking and cleaning go, I do almost all of the cleaning but refuse to cook. If I need something done because I cannot do it or I’ve been cleaning all day I turn off the TV or just talk really loud until he gets up to do it. Yes it annoys him and him complains but I let it roll. He can be mad for the 30second task idc 
also the kids do chores which helps alot. It’s hard getting them started but worth it in the long run. I dont see how the depression is a valid point for him unless it’s been awhile and it’s something else. Because I can understand annoyance to the chores but not depression because you were asked to help with the family. I do hope you guys can figure it out tho.
It’s 50/50. My husband was like this at first. Over the years, he’s changed a lot doing more and more than before. He works and I stay at home with 3 kids. I believe staying at home is a job and some days are harder than others. He comes home still makes time to play with all 4 of our kids. If I cooks he helps clean up. I do all the laundry, he helps sometime clean the house, and also helps give baths. My daughter is 9 and unloads the dishwasher and cleans her room, which helps.
I do it ALL during the week…I mean, my kids are in school and I can turn on music or netflix and watch as I fold laundry or whatever.
Doesnt even take ALL day, I usually get time for a nap or hot bath before the kiddos get home.
We have switched roles before where HE stayed home while I worked…
I didnt enjoy coming home to a dirty house after working ALL DAY, so why would he?
And NOT saying HE SHOULDNT help…but I usually wait til his day off to ask him to do anything major. Just because I know how it feels.
Find another husband if he doesn’t want it that way I have a husband is the same way and I love thim I like the old-fashioned way and I still have a job just saying
First, I would ask WHO the other 2 ppl are? And then I would ask the ages of the kid’s, and are they in school? If a woman works outside the Home and her husband depends on her salary YES, household maintenance should be shared, with that being stated, being a SAHM is a Job and soley YOUR responsibility . No man should have to come home after a 10-12 shift to wash dishes, cook meals, and wash laundry when his WIFE has been home all day, start assigning the children CHORES, if they can use a Tablet, Smart phone ,they have the capability of using a Vacuum, loading the dishwasher, folding thier clothes ect, and as to the other 2 ppl, If they’re ADULTS or young ADULTS time to crack the whip, its NOT your responsibility or your husbands responsibility to cook and clean for ANYONE other than your children or each other!
My fiancé is from africa, and I was born and raised in America. He’s now a legal citizen here, but our cultures have clashed. Of course his tradition is women do the house work and raise kids, where I was raised 50/50 responsibilities. He’ll help around the house now and then, and we talked about how we’ll raise the kids 50/50 duties. We used to argue about him not helping etc, and then I just realized it’s not worth the fight. His mom raised 8 kids, cooking and cleaning without electricity or machines. That’s how the life is. At least here, we have machines to wash clothes and dishes, and things to keep the kids happy and healthy. Didn’t realize how hard it is to raise and keep a family together until I saw his point of view. Now, we don’t have kids, but he has a full time job, and I work 2 jobs. The dishes and the laundry and house gets cleaned as we go. We figured out a flow for now. Just be open, and do what you can. With all the things happening in the world, let it go. Enjoy your family and life, and stop worrying about who’s doing what for the house.
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Obviously your relationship sucks. Someone who loves and respects there significant other would not run to facebook crying about having to put forth effort in your family or relationship. I cook, clean, laundry, help 3 kids with school work and due to covid I am basically a teacher. I just got done teaching my newly 18 year old how to drive. I do all the grocery shopping. I do all the yard maintenance. And I am a successful business owner full time.
Am I tired? Yes. Do I bitch and complain about it? No. I respect and love my husband very much and we both put in 100% in our family, business, and marriage. Get over yourself.
How are you doing laundry for 7 if there are 5 of you? And sorry but, to me a sahm should be doing the cooking and cleaning. 
you don’t have to clean 100% of the time. Things are allowed to get messy. Don’t stress yourself trying to keep things perfect.
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That’s great you run your home so well. I’m sure you feel proud. Your husband should WANT to come home and interact with his kids. Play with them some. Maybe even help with baths. He’s missing out. It’s hard to change their views.
Ok… so… he goes to work at least 8 hours a day and takes care of the business matters… probably home maintenance and vehicles too… you go to the grocery store and are complaining that you have to cook and clean?I’m just trying to understand why you want him to do your job too. If he is cooking and cleaning when he gets home…seems that would take quality time away from kids. If it were me… I would handle the cooking and cleaning so he could help with the care of the children in the evenings…bath time…bedtime… quality time.
If you worked you’d both be trying to juggle everything.
My partner works more than I do so I do more at home it’s team work
7 in the house? How old are the children? They should be having chores. They live there and should also participate. My 15 and 13 year old and 10 year old have chores and help out. It’s there house as well and should help. Husband should also pull some weight around. I told my husband he gets days off and I don’t. He lives there. I have a cleaning day where we all just deep clean the house that way during the week its maintaining it.
I think taking care of kids is a full time and then some. There is a lot to do and it can take a emotional toll on you. I think he should help too and definitely come home and be with the kids and watch them. You have had them all day he should want to and he needs to be there for his kids too. As for the work, I think there is no reason why he can’t help too. At least some of the housework. Raising kids isn’t a easy job and it’s hard too.
Communicate because every relationship is different. My husband works and I stay at home and homeschool and am currently in school (at night). Sometimes I have all my stuff done for the day and sometimes he comes home and does the work. The only thing he doesn’t like to so is laundry so I try to get that done. We don’t keep score we just communicate and listen to what the other needs.
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My husband works 4 weeks straight 12 hour shifts when he’s home he cooks clean laundry takes kids to school drives me to work shops etc…
Laundry for 7?
3 kids, you and a husband…that makes 5. What am I missing?!?
Are there other adults in the house not pulling their weight? That’ll cause some major stress right there…just sayin
I am a stay at home mother and until I get a job my job is to run the house inside and out and deal with the kids my partner is a night-shift worker and he is ither sleeping and working but once I get a job it’ll be more 50 50. If u want less responsibility in the house then get a job and make it 50 50 for yourselves atm how I see it is ur husband works hard so if your home alday then u run the house
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A LOT of men think that if you’re home that the home is your job. However, real men (please don’t take offense, but I’m gonna say it) take care of their kids too. Children need BOTH parents.