how do you keep a relationship alive? my husband told mer he misses how we were in the past and that ido not try for him anymore…which is somewhat true since we have 4 kids and i just do not have the will power to look good anymore…but i want to try…i want him to still look at me how he used to and i feel like i am letting him down but idk where to evenb start or how to
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My husband feels I do not try for him anymore - Mamas Uncut
What has your individual therapist suggested? What has your husband tried to get you reengaged
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Start by getting a sitter once or twice a month and have date nights, just the 2 of you…
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Let him know by finding a new man who doesn’t place that much importance on your appearance
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I dress up and apply some make up. Its not a lot of effort as I have two kids and they’re draining
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Has he? I had a lot of issues with my relationship because after a while of being the only one trying, it was exhausting, and i just didnt care anymore. So, is he trying and putting any effort in, too? Or is he just expecting you to keep everything up on your own? Relationships change over time, thats just life, doesn’t have to be a bad thing, and it doesn’t mean you need to “go back to what we were”. Just talk openly and work together and/or get a counselor involved just to keep communication open
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Does he try for you?
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Does HE put into his marriage the same as he use to? Both have to try.
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Never stop courting, or dating your significant other. It’s an ongoing process to ensure your relationship grows.
Learn from my mistakes…so sayeth the old dude.
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You just do it. Too many women fall back on motherhood and busyness. You were a wife first. Get up 20 minutes sooner and shower and do your hair/make up. Make it part of your routine. It’s possible.
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Even when you do all of that will it be enough?
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I brush my hair and put on comfy form fitting clothes and when the kids are sleeping we sneak to the bathroom the kitchen the living the den to do the do lol…we also have a date night at least once a month I’m a natural girl so I always wore minimal make up and my hair is curly so I just make sure it’s neat when he gets home I also 90 percent of the time has his plate on the table when he gets home or whatever we ordered for dinner that night waiting for him since he works all day and I’m home
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Does he ‘make an effort for you’ asl him that. Does he help with things at home so your not always exhausted etc…
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As in youre not dressing up or doing your hair or make up?! Oof. I mentioned this to my partner. That i dont “get ready” like i used to. And he said “you dont need to just to be home, i havent given you a good excuse to get ready lately” and i thought that was the perfect answer. Tell him to take you on a date night 
or to go f*** himself. Either are acceptable.
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Does he put in the energy for you? Does he help you out enough? I’d tell him that with 4 kids you don’t have the energy.
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Little bit of makeup doing something different with hair new clothes don’t have to dress super nice
Little makeup, cute outfit, different way to do your hair and there ya go! just take a little time for yourself in spite of having kids. He sounds like a good husband wanting you involved and him communicating his thoughts to you. Your relationship is important so I love that you are considering what he’s saying. 
you got this girl!
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I also had 4 kids, and a full time job, but I still tried to look presentable when he came home, and like others have stated date nights are a must. Have the sitter the come early so you really can focus on you. It will help you alot, and if he’s happy it’s a bonus
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If he treats you like he’s still trying to win you, he’ll never loose you. Obviously, he’s not, and insulting you. Not cool.
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Sounds like he’s just being a cry baby and finding a way out. You have 4 kids and a long relationship. Things change. Did he marry you for you or your looks!?
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Maybe he should send you to a spa one day while he watches all four kids. After you’re done at the spa you go shopping for some cute new clothes and makeup, don’t hurry. Tell him to put the kids to bed early and you’ll bring home dinner. Don’t be surprised when he falls to sleep early, lol. Maybe he’ll have a better understanding how your days go.
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Tell him to help clean house and care for kids and then set up a sitter for a date night at the end of that week so you have some energy and have a reason to dress up.
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I do little things like a cute but easy up hair style… then on nice days I wear a sun dress… on cold days I wear a cute outfit…
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Mayhe he should get off his high horse and appreciate the woman you’ve become. Not every mom has the energy to do their hair and make up every day
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Oh, this just screams control and abuse…not enough information to decide. How old are the kids? Are you a SAHM? Does he help with his children? Do you get to tell him how to dress and EVERYTHING ELSE HE IS TRYING TO CONTROL?
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I gained 100lbs during my child baring years, with metabolic disease. It was so hard, but my husband never wanted me less. I’m so sorry you are feeling this way. There is nothing better than having a partner that loves you at your worst.
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If you’re a sahm and take care of the house chores, kids, etc…then I can understand that…all of that can be so exhausting. I don’t have anyone I need to look good for…if your hubby is complaining that you don’t do for him anymore, does he do stuff for you??
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I’m exhausted with work and two boys too but I would make it up at least once a week or twice if need be in the bedroom by dressing up or telling him let’s get dressed up and go out xoxo and have a good time twice a week at least
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At least he tells you this and doesn’t go and replace your with someone else. He is giving you a piece of the puzzle that is missing. People are asking whether he tries or not, that is irrelevant. He is communicating. If she wants him to ‘try’ to look good that is up to her to request the same or she may be content with how he looks. At least he tells her that he misses those days and wishes to go back to that. At least he is acknowledging that he misses that from their relationship she is winning that means he still loves her. Sometimes dudes are dumb and don’t know how to express words, what he maybe saying is also that he hates to see her not taking care of herself and that she should love herself a little more. Sometimes they totally mean that but for some reason they have foot in mouth decease and it comes out wrong. Either way, he is telling her without telling her that he misses the early days and that he wishes she tried bla bla bla. Some of us wish that we were told something similar
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It goes both ways. He needs to help you feel beautiful. And supported. And when you’re not pouring from an empty cup then you’ll be more able to pretty yourself up or give him the energy he wants.
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First off work on you! When your mind is right, everything else falls into place. 4 kids and a husband are exhausting! Take an afternoon off work and home and go get yourself a mani/pedi, get your hair done and eyebrows done. Go to the dentist and get your teeth whitening kit. When you feel like a woman again you will be more confident and confidence is sexy! Buy that new dress! Put on makeup and take yourself out for dinner! When you start to live for yourself and treat yourself right. He will notice! Trust me!
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Wellll this is a loaded question. How do you act and look like you don’t have kids when you literally have kids with you 24/7? The only answer here is whatever YOU are comfortable with. I don’t necessarily think he is the bad guy in this since he is coming to you and telling you the truth and he wants open and honest communication, BUT, AND THIS IS A HUGE BUT, he needs to put in the same effort if he feels like this will help your relationship. He needs to look nice for you and he needs to pull his weight around the house. If he cannot do these things then tell him to pound sand.
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I have kids but have not changed! This is MY opinion but your husband fell for you because of the person you were when he met you! If you are no longer that person than don’t be surprised if he falls for someone else. You HAVE to put out effort rather you have kids or not! Wish you two the best!!
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How does he want you to try? Maybe ask him what he’d like, and then figure out how he can help you to do that. Like if he wants you to go to the gym, he can watch the kids for you so you can go. Or if he wants your hair to look a certain way, he could pay for you to get it done and also watch the kids. If he wants you to have more energy, he could help with the house and kids. It’s not all you. It’s both of you being a team that helps each other.
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I’m mom of 3 and I can’t imagine how much harder 4 is 
. My husbands never been the super romantic type and I always known. So I ask what his work schedule is and I set up small dinner dates or coffee dates small reasons to get a little dressed up . Have him take you shopping for a new outfit or new make up 
get him involved in you looking good 
maybe he needs a new outfit too 
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Just start with mascara and lip gloss and build up from there as time goes on
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Does he help you at all? Does he try too? Can’t be looking like a model when you do everything yourself.
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Guys don’t seem to understand that it’s a 2 way path. Mom’s get so caught up in having to keep the family running and the kids and house all in order. It gets tiring having so much on your shoulders. Husbands do work hard as well, but it’s a little different than what mom’s have to deal with. They don’t see how we get stressed and exhausted day after day. We shouldn’t have to tell them we need help, but …🤷
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Tell him to get over it. (Married 24 years) I dress up and put make up on and do my hair for myself. I love, appreciate and adore my husband in a sweat pants and a T-shirt. We both work very hard for our family and appreciate each for other hundreds of other things and not the way we look.
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That true love sees through tired days, illness, and dark nights. If he wants a Barbie he can either get a blow up doll or go on the internet and whack his PP off. Screw him in the pony he trotted in on
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I’m so sorry he is making you feel this way. I understand wanting to try but I did it for me. I gained so much weight over the years. Stopped doing my hair and makeup. Work clothes and pj’s. Not once did my husband ever make me feel not good enough. I lost the weight and started trying to look pretty again for me and in a way him. My husband did communicate about our lack of intimacy which was true and really effecting our marriage so I make it a point to remind him how much I love him in the way that he needed but it was always things we needed to work on as a couple. never just about me
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Do something you both did together when y’all first met… yes life gets hectic sometimes, but both in the relationship need to keep the spark alive… yes sometimes it’s hard with having kids and life becomes so settled… it’s not wrong to put you and him first at times… bc if you both aren’t feeling good in life with each other everything will crumble around you both… including your children…
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If it’s only about looks for him… he’s the problem
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You get up. Get dressed before doing anything else. Kids can wait 20 mins for you to get ready.
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Start going to get a Pedicure Manicure and get your hair done once a month too you also need to make a date night once a week and get someone to watch the kids .
Start with giving him a list of things you will no longer have time to do while you are “trying harder”. Let him get all four kids out the door in the morning while you are at the gym. Let him pick the kids up and make them dinner while you are shopping for outfits and getting manicures. Give him the list of cleaning and laundry and grocery shopping chores you need help with on Saturday mornings. Have him drop the kids at his mothers on Saturday afternoon so you can nap and get ready for date night. Ask him to plan Sunday dinners and family outings. Be sure to praise him for the stellar idea and thank him for improving your life.
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10 COMMANDMENTS OF MARRIAGE
Whether you’re a newlywed or a veteran spouse, here are 10 marriage commandments that will help you stay in love, deepen your connection, and bring peace to your household.
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THOU SHALT SHOW RESPECT. Every individual deserves respect. In a marriage, it is never appropriate to demean your spouse, and physical violence is never ever acceptable in any relationship. If your marriage is disintegrating into squabbling and fighting, remember that sometimes it’s better to be happy than to be right.
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THOU SHALT BE AFFECTIONATE. The quickest way to pep up a marriage is to throw in a little love. Just being in close physical proximity to your spouse can take your relationship from meh to marvelous. Hold hands, kiss your spouse goodbye and hold on a little longer when you hug.
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THOU SHALT COMMUNICATE. Your spouse has a lot of wonderful qualities, but he or she has never been and will never be a mind reader. Chances are, your spouse wants to give you the world, but you’ll have to tell him or her what you need. Own your feelings and be honest about emotions.
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THOU SHALT FORGIVE. Ruth Bell Graham famously said, “A good marriage is the union between two good forgivers.” We all make mistakes. Yet sometimes those mistakes hurt the person we love the most — our spouse. Be generous and forgiving when your spouse makes a mistake and your spouse will be quicker to forgive your mistakes.
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THOU SHALT BE KIND. We have a mantra in our house: kind words, soft answers. Think back to how you spoke to your spouse when you were still dating and aim to keep that kind communication throughout your entire marriage.
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THOU SHALT BE APPRECIATIVE. Make a conscious choice to let go of little annoyances and devote more mental energy to thinking about all the things you love about your spouse. Your spouse does a lot for you; let him know that you are appreciative.
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THOU SHALT BE LOYAL. Adultery is the quickest way to kill a marriage. Protect your marriage by avoiding the slippery slope toward infidelity. In our world of constant contact through cell phones and social media, keep all your interactions innocent. If you’re not sure if your behavior is appropriate imagine how you would feel if your spouse was engaging in the same behavior.
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THOU SHALT FIND BALANCE. Cultivate friendships and hobbies that complement but are not dependent upon your marriage. At the same time, spend quality time with your spouse every day. You’ll be a better spouse if you are a well-rounded person.
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THOU SHALT BE HONEST. It’s never OK to lie to your spouse, even if the lie seems inconsequential at the time. No good ever came from lying.
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THOU SHALT MAKE DECISIONS TOGETHER. Avoid major marital drama by coming up with a game plan for life as a couple. All major decisions, including jobs, homes, children, and how to spend money, need to be agreed upon by both parties. In an equal marriage, both spouses should feel that their opinion is valuable and carries weight.
Marriage is not a one-time commitment but rather a daily choice to love your spouse the best you can. ~Heather Hale
#copynpaste
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It’s a 2- way street…. He throws feelings out you also are entitled to throw some feelings out alsO 
/ takes two 

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Does he try for you as well??
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Is he the very same???
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Wear different clothes than usual and maybe a little makeup. Idk. Maybe one day plan a surprise date and send the kids to granny’s for the nite.
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Date nights…
Nawty messages during the day…
Look after yourself…
Share responsibility…
Surprise each other…
Show affection…
Work together as a team…
You both need to work at a relationship for it to be healthy…
35 years in a relationship here & still happily married
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I’ve been married for 38 years. High school sweethearts. Men love to feel important and needed just like we do. I know it’s hard since we had four children too but you need to set one day a week for each other. Plan a date night and let nature take its course. It really helps keep that spark alive. Good luck to you and I wish you a long happy marriage
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Ask him to take care of the kids so you can practice some self care.
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Get up and get dressed and put shoes on! Make the bed, hair and makeup.
Your kids will grow up and move out, the most important relationship in the house is the one between you and your husband
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Husband 1st kids next. Why would you let yourself go? Even a little eye shadow and lipstick in a pr of jeans with hair in poneytail goes a long way and doesnt take about 5 mins. If you look nice it makes you feel good.
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Smile. Be kind. Pay attention. Flirt
Tell him boohoo welcome to parenthood. What does ge do for you?
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Start with a new hair
do
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Date him but expect no less from him.
My hubby (25 yrs together) gave me the same sob story about I don’t try for him but hadn’t shaved in 2 weeks so I said date night but clean yourself up too boo.
He did, I did and we had fun.
I had 4 kids under 10 for a while so I know it’s easier to just be. but it’s worth the extra effort to keep the flame alive because babies grow up and leave us, hopefully it’s still you & him after they’re done.
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Ok so what does he do to help you not feel so exhausted all the time? I mean does he help with things around the house? When I say that I mean does he sweep and mop, help wash dishes, help with the laundry, helps clean after the kids and take care of them, does things with the kids so maybe mom can have some “me” time and I don’t mean watching them while you run to the store either…anything at all to take the load off so you can relax and refill your energy meter and take care of your own mental health? If not…tell him to step up and be a partner and he will get the same in return. Bam…problem solved. If he refuses, show him the door and find someone who is willing to be an equal partner in a relationship and again…bam…problem solved. He can’t just throw it all on you and see you have no energy and slam you like that and accuse you of not trying any more without doing his part too. End of story. My ex did that shit and would try to say “BuT i PlaY YoUr FaVoRiTe ViDeO GaMe WiTh YoU TwIcE A MoNtH. ThAt ShOuLd Be EnOuGh.” And legit that is all he fucking did. I mean besides threaten to cheat on me, yell and scream at me, actually cheat on me, leave all the cleaning, cooking and childcare up to me, running all the errands, made me bleed from time to time, made extra huge messes i had to clean up. Nah bruh time for you to go. Now…I have a man who is an equal partner and shares all the work and he even does date nights and we do weekend get aways and you bet I will suddenly decide ooooo…I want to see him standing there dumb founded and unable to say a word when he gets home and sees me in a sexy dress and makeup and my hair done. And he does lmao. He will stand there with his mouth open and eyes wide and just whisper I have no words…and then list off beautiful, sexy, gorgeous…none of them work. Like last night he ended up deciding we were going to eat out instead of me cooking. We went to leave the restaurant and a lady at the table next to us suddenly exclaimed Oh momma…you are sexy in that outfit…damn your man did good picking you. And he leaned over and whispered in my ear…see…I told you. On the flip side I can have a messy bun, no makeup and walking around in sweats and a t shirt and he will smack my butt and say…how did I get so lucky to have such a beautiful woman inside and out in my life? And really mean it. Ladies…don’t settle for less. You should not have to feel like you must dress up for your man to find you desirable. Your man should not sit back and watch you exhaust yourself doing everything and demand you have the energy to dress up for him and tell you that you just don’t measure up any more. That is the opening to…I’m cheating on you because there is no effort from you any more and he is preparing you to take the blame for it. Two past relationships with men like that…I’m telling you. Just wait.
We had bk nights one night a month. We never went anywhere but we would remove all signs we had kids from the living room (kids were in bed) we would watch a movie have some snacks. It was our time to reconnect during a busy time in our lives with work and kids
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Take a day and go get a makeover, and tell him to plan a date. Ask grandparents or Aunts/Uncles to babysit for a weekend and y’all have to reconnect.
It’s hard. Sometimes we just don’t have the energy. I get it.
That’s said, your marriage is the foundation for your family. If it cracks, it won’t hold. Yiur marriage has to be the priority.
No, that’s doesn’t mean the kkds aren’t or they got without. Not at all. But you 2 have to make time. Even if it’s dumping kids in bed early and cuddling in bed for 20mins, talking. (Not abt the kids. Lol)
Make the time. Your marriage is worth the effort.
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Does he help you with household chores and the kids? If not, he shouldn’t be complaining
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Well, it’s tough when you have 4 kids and a house to run. I know you get tired and you don’t feel attractive or particularly desirable. But you can make it a point to get dressed each day, make sure you brush your hair and teeth, put on some mascara and eyeliner. Feed the kids a little early and park them in front of a movie so the two of you can eat by yourselves and talk over the day. See if you can get the kids to bed a little early a couple of times a week… if they get to sleep, maybe you’ll have time for each other. Plan a date night. Get a sitter and do something fun. It doesn’t have to be dinner and a movie. Go bowling. Do something you haven’t done in awhile as a couple. Go play pool or darts or shuffleboard. Sing karaoke. Just have some fun. Then go home and spend some quality time together before you take the sitter home. Or maybe it would be better to have the kids spend the night at grandma’s! Do that at least twice a month. It might make all the difference.
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You should want to take care of yourself for yourself
I have 3 kids and can honestly say I make the time to “doll myself up” for no other reason than just because im a mom isnt an excuse to live like a troll person
Keep practicing healthy sexy times and exploring yourselves and the rest will come naturally
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I’m sure his analogy would be “married a prize filly and ended up with a brood mare”, but yours should be “his idea of foreplay is youthful gymnastics while mine is getting some help feeding, bathing, and doing homework”, different perspectives
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Set up a date night…go somewhere youv never been…no kids allowed…get a sitter or send the kids to grammas…for the weekend…dress sexy…get a hotel room…go have a nice dinner an couple drinks and dancing…shake your butt a little…low cut top…lean in a little closer…a little glitter on neck an shoulders…be flirty…maybe at the dinner table or bar run your hand up his inner thigh…lol…game on…and nice perfume…have fun…forget about everything else in life on this hot date, there are no kids, no work, no life problems…just you , him , and fun
Girl don’t blame those kids…put them in the bed at 8m and get sassied up for that man or get a sitter for a few hours and do ur thing….one a month is not hard
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I never understood why women let themselves go when they get comfortable in a relationship. I have been with my husband for 13 years and he’s just as into me if not more now than he was back then. I work out, I always have my hair and makeup done and I always make sure I’m looking good for him. We have 3 kids ages 6, 5 & 3 but I always make time to do my makeup and all. You never stop dating your husband. We also have a crazy good sex life. So get yourself together like you would have when you first started dating. And don’t say that you don’t have time. It takes me 20 minutes max to do my hair, makeup and get dressed. You can always spare 20 minutes if it’s important enough to you.
Maybe just a couple days a week dress up and look sexy for him
Let him take care of all the kids for a week, then ask him!
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I have 4 kids too. I am NOT a made up kind of lady daily.
Find a 5 minute makeup routine. I choose thrive eyeshadow stick, eyeliner and mascara. That’s it. Just to help brighten me up. It’s not something I do daily but these products go on easily and wash off easily with water at the end of the night.
Skin care! It makes a difference in your appearance! It doesn’t have to be crazy just something to give you skin a boost.
It’s easy to just put your hair in a bun but it doesn’t take much to put it in something simple like a side braid.
I’m on the go with 4 kids and a college student so I don’t have alot of time to spend on myself but these few things definitely give my appearance a boost.
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I know how you feel.I’ve had surgery,rods & pins in my neck! It’s been 2yrs now ad the pain is still unbearable most days.Make-up and heels is a thing of the past.I remember being exhausted when my kids were small and at home. They are grown now. At one time I had kids in high school,middle and elementary schools at the same time.I was exhausted at night.Sleep was my best friend.I still had renewed energy after a good night’s rest to do it all over again the next day. I don’t know if you have a few pounds to lose? At 29yrs old with a 2yr old I had back surgery from all the running and a kid on my hip.I herniated a,disc in my lower lumbar area of my spine.They gave me tons of steroids and I gained about 60lbs.A friend told me of a weight loss pill called phentermine for energy as well as appetite suppressant and water pill.I lost 72lbs in 4mths and it for some reason brought my sex drive back.Mothers need all the energy they can get.Ask your Dr if you have at least 20lbs to lose and don’t have high blood pressure.It was a miracle pill for me back in the day when I needed it most…
Stop using your kids as a excuse .
If you do not have family close hire a baby sitter and spend time with him
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If you want to try, that’s a good start. I find lots of times both parents have a hard time getting motivated.
If you want to try, then try.
Shave your legs, put on something clean and flattering… maybe some mascara.
But its not just about looking pretty. You both should take the time once or twice a week (when schedules allow) to focus on each other. Talk about anything other than kids/home. Find a common hobby to get into. A date night away. And when it comes to the bedroom, take time with each other and for each other. You don’t need to act like porn stars all the time. Just connection and intimacy and communication. Have a glass of wine and relax. Let each other know that this isn’t the end of romance because life got hectic. So many relationships fall apart because they become stagnant. I’ve been there. Today I’m making efforts to keep my relationship healthy. Parenthood shouldn’t define us or be the be-all and end-all. Kids grow up.
I’m curious if he has”kept up”
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That you doesn’t exist. As he said in his own words “the past” this is who you are now and he needs to accept the beauty that comes with motherhood and the life that surrounds it.
These woman making these idiot comments about how it’s not that hard blah blah.
Simply go eff yourselves.
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Go get your hair nails and lashes done 
guaranteed you’ll feel like a beautiful bad bitch 
I feel like I need more info. Like are you both carrying equal loads? How old are all of the children? Is he saying this bc he wants you to go full glamour or like you don’t shower but once a week and wear the same out for like 3 days? Also this is t a one way street. If he wants to be sexy for him he needs to be getting sexy for you. This is where you two need to sit down without kids and have an honest chat with one another about expectations, wants and needs. It could be as simple as him parenting more when he’s home so you have time to take a shower and put on something that isn’t your typical wear, it could be your overwhelmed and struggling and maybe need mental health help (depression sucks) or maybe he’s just expecting the same level from when you were dating and pre kids and that’s just not always possible and he needs a wake up call. The situation is way more nuanced than the post.
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We have five kids, but I always have. You can do it. Do it for you just as much as for him. It doesn’t take a lot of time to put yourself together each morning. Throw on something that makes you feel good. I get dressed, I put on nice panties and a matching bra, I keep my nails done, fix my hair, put on some earrings and a tiny bit of makeup, if I’m feeling it. I think both spouses should still do the things they did in the beginning. Nobody should become complacent in their relationship. My husband thinks it’s great, but I do it just as much for me as I do it for him. You are worth feeling good about yourself. You are worth taking a little time for you every morning. Getting ready for the day even makes me feel more productive. I also make sure our kids are in bed on time, leaving the last few hours of the day for just the two of us. We have a date night each weekend, too. My husband still comes home with flowers and surprise gifts. He still surprises me with lingerie, opens doors, texts and calls from work during the day, helps with the kids and generally spoils me, but I also spoil him, as well. I feel like both people making one another a priority keeps a relationship fresh.
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Its not about what he wants, its about what you want. You need to do things for yourself. When we makes changes for someone else it creates a easily destructible/unstable foundation.
So ask yourself, what do YOU want? What would make YOU happy?
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What does he look like for starters
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You said the magic words; try. That’s all he’s asking for. You can’t go back in time and be that person. But you can find a little time, pockets of time, for him. Date nights are important in a marriage. Try and plan one once a month and then make a goal to try and make that happen once a week.
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This might just be a southern thing, but I’m not expected to wear makeup or get dressed up for my husband. He gets suspicious when I do tbh, asking “what I’m up to” etc. Makeup isn’t really great for your skin anyways. I think your hubby should learn to appreciate the real, raw you. Not some doled up fairytale version of you.
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Does he still try to impress you? Or even attempt to make you feel sexy and attractive? Marriage/ relationships are a 2 way street
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I’d be so insulted. He could step up too. Help out and allow you some time to get ready in the mornings. Give you kid free time to get ready and take you out. You are one person that is doing it all I’m sure. He needs to appreciate where you are together. You shouldn’t feel bad because you don’t look like you used to- does he? You have had kids and aren’t the same person. You aren’t supposed to be.
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Go get yourself a complete make over. Totally new haircut and style… new make up, clothes, shoes. Get something sexy for the bedroom. If you feel good about yourself you will want to show it off!!
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It’s just part of being married. Does he “try” for you? It’s a 2-way street…just because marriage means your committed, doesn’t make it ok for them to quit putting the work in too. It’s on him as much as it is you, is the point I’m making here.
There will be seasons in your marriage where y’all are so busy getting thru the day to day that you’ll put your needs as a married couple to the side… that’s life. However, if no one is trying to keep the marriage alive it’ll suffer.
Marriage is tons of works… it’s not just about makeup and getting sexy…but it doesn’t hurt to put the same energy into seducing your man as you did before the kids came along. Find a balance that suits you, even if that’s just a date night you can get excited about once a week.
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He should love you no matter what….
I think this is a double edge sword. You should absolutely try. But not for him, for you. As moms, we have a real tendency to get so busy doing for the kids and husband that we forget to do for ourselves. So, if makeup would make you happy, do it. If messy buns, leggings and oversize tshirts do it for you, do it. Do what makes you happy. Any maybe in his own way, he’s telling you that you’ve lost that sparkle in your eyes. So find it in whatever way makes you happy. You’re so much more than a mother and wife.
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Sounds more like he needs to grow up and be attracted to the mother his wife has become instead of clinging to the woman he married before kids.
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Pick a date set a date And get this show back on track. Bless you both. And enjoy each other’s company it’s a start I hope. 
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Im with the ladies who say 1 date night a week just the 2 of u, even indoors with all children in bed, our children left home and have families of their own but me and the husband still have date nights as we work odd shifts and sometimes are like crossing each others paths maybe just 30mins some days.
Are you both full time working parents? Both contributing to the household chores? And child care?
Are you a SAHM? Doing all the household chores? And child care?
Is he a SATD that does all the household chores? And child care?
Are you working a under-paying job, struggling to pay all the bills, while he’s a SATD but does nothing all day and you still have to do all the household chores? And child care?
Are your kids teens? Toddlers? A mix? Any with difficult night time routines? Easy sleepers? All go to bed at the same time? Maybe you have one who you have to lay down with and most nights you’re just shy of needing a horse tranquilizer to get him/ her to finally sleep?
So many missing details.
Everyone here is giving advice as though you’re June Cleaver minus the makeup, plus 2 kids.
My piece advice… those who are suggesting hire help/ babysitters etc., send them your necessary information so they can send you money because they assume you can afford it
He should love u no matter what! Sounds like he needs to grow up. Realize you have a plate full. He needs to step in and help give u a reason to want to impress him.
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Sweetie i dont know the age of your youngest but when you have a few kids its easy to get lost in the everyday mundane hectic life of cooking, cleaning, doing endless chores,…men dont realize they just get up go to work, come home and that is the end of their day…where we go 24/7 and we are exhausted to even think about looking good …at least your hubby is being honest with you saying he misses what you had before kids took over and he misses when you werent always too tired to pay attention and give affection…but you want to feel and look good both for yourself and for him…so what do you do you get up in the morning you shower, put on nice panties and bra because those alone make us instantly feel good…you could akways dress in your sweats and a couple hours before he gets home fix your hair and change your clothes from baggy sweats to something nicer…the look on his face when he comes home from work will be the approval you just need…saturday is no housework just the bare minimum so you will have energy for saturday nights…saturday nights make it date night have kids remove toys from the livingroom before bed and make easy foods like chicken strips and fries that require hardly any cleanup…have him help put kids to bed and light some candles and order take out for the two of you to be delivered…have some wine and have some sexy time…he will really appreciate it…and thank you for it…
Once a month go out for dinner, a movie, bar, or whatever you are into…we used to go to the bar and go dancing…it doesnt take too much work to put in a little extra effort and if he helps at least for that night then its all worth it
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Have him help more around the house so you can have a little more time to do that for him.
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You’re not alone… I have no will in me lately