My husband forgot my birthday...advice?

My husband forgot my birthday…he straight woke up yesterday…went to work without saying a word and came home and said NOTHING. I am mad at him and he doesn’t know why…idk what to even say at this point…I feel so hurt because I always make a big deal about his

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I would wait and see how long it takes lmao :rofl:

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My husband works 7 days a week anywhere from 10-12 hours a day. His days literally just run together because all he does is work. I normally remind him closer to time when special things are nearing. I completely understand the hurt you feel but communicate that with him and find out what happened…

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A lot of people don’t regard birthdays as anything other than a normal day unless it’s for their children. I’m this way myself, but I make a big deal about them for my hubby and kids because I know they like it. You should talk to him about your feelings on this subject and go from there…if he doesn’t know what he’s done “wrong” in your eyes, he can’t try to correct it. Good luck x

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My husband forgot my birthday (it was in aug) and i was just talking to him about it the day before!! I waited for a good portion of the day to pass, hoping he would say something, and as he was sitting next to me i sent him a text “u forgot😭” and he STILL didnt remember. I told him. I didn’t get mad, but i did guilt him like crazy lol

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Quit doing so much for him. Match that same energy

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I can’t imagine how badly that must have hurt and I’m so sorry he forgot your birthday. In my opinion the best thing you can do is let him know he forgot it and how much it hurt you and give him the opportunity to make it up to you. I hope everything gets better and he fixes his big mistake and spoils you! Happy Belated Birthday! :heart:

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People aren’t going to do for you as you do for them. Things aren’t as important to some people. I would speak up and say I’m upset you forgot my birthday in the future can you do this this or this for me and it will make me feel better. A few ideas so you don’t feel like you programed him into doing this one thing bc he has to. But let him know you need the appreciation for your birthday and that’s what you can expect going forward.

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My husband works every day and starting to take a second job and he never forgets my birthday or anniversary. He always makes it special for me.

Been with my hubby 27 years if he forgot my birthday so be it i go do my own thing anyways lol why wait for something from other. Get it yourself. Cake, a gift you really want. But yup all i expect is a clean house n supper cooked for
Me on my bday. I get what ever i really want myself

So this is something I face every year and either I don’t say anything and I make my own plans or I say something in advance to remind and still make my own plans lol I’m over trying to get my happiness from others actions, I would try to plan stuff you love to do for yourself.

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Buy your own flowers and bring them home. Tell him thank you for your birthday flowers and proceed about your evening

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You need to be smarter, remind him a few days prior, and suggest an affordable present

I remind my husband my birthday is coming up and tell him where I want him to take me for dinner, or what I’d really like as a gift. He’s going to work…be grateful. That’s more than lots of girls got.:heart:

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Tell him why u mad, book a day out for yourself and buy yourself treats. I always pamper myself on my birthday so I have something to look forward to :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye: x

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That stinks I’m sorry but maybe he sincerely forgot. My husband is the worst at things like this and I have to constantly remind him. Life gets and is so busy most days that I couldn’t even blame anyone for forgetting some stuff. Good luck and happy birthday :balloon::birthday:

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That’s when you have a big calendar on the refrigerator that has everybody’s birthday on it and highlighted. And I can totally understand how your feelings were hurt, especially when you try to make others feel good on their special day.

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Tell him give him the chance to make it right

I know the hurt, been together over 40 years and have always reminded him of the special days. He did get better when the children got involved, but you have to communicate your hurt, anger won’t change him. Belated Birthday blessings to you.

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In our house, as we have 4 kids and for them birthdays are a big deal. We openly and casually announce whose birthday is coming up during family dinners or lunches. We ask how they would like it celebrated. So there’s no disappointments. As a mother and a wife, I still give them something that I know they would like and that would surprise them. And as much as possible I like to keep it that way.

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Did you not get any cards from anyone? As I’d have put them up! Plus I would have asked weeks before what is planned? It’s as you wanted him to fail?

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Does this happen every year? It’s one thing to forget and another to ignore? Sometimes you gotta make your own celebration and show up for yourself :revolving_hearts:

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Just let him know, always remind closer to important dates. Life happens, people forget.

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“I’m mad at him and he doesn’t know why…”

The maturity of a 4 year old. Have a conversation like an adult.

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Tell him you’ll be out for dinner Saturday with your girlfriends for a belated birthday celebration. That way he will know he f’up big time. Then let him make up for it :crazy_face:

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Mine would probably forget too🤣 but I tell him what I want a few weeks before🤣

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My son forgot mine last year. His partners is a fortnight before and we all went out for lunch with partners parents.

In his mind, it connected to my birthday, even though we went on her birthday and celebrated her birthday. He couldn’t believe it when I mentioned it a few weeks later.

Has he ever done this before? It’s okay to be upset. But if this is the first time, I wouldn’t be mad. People forget things. I forget important things a lot sadly. How old is he?

In the end, your feelings are valid.

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Most guys are not mind readers, you want him to know something, tell him or be mad, your choice

Remind him. I forgot my husband’s birthday last year.

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That’s so sad - happy birthday :balloon:-

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Send yourself a large bunch of roses from him to you with his CC and buy a gift and wrap it!

husbands forget special events and stuff but they will never forget their group meetings with their friends or game schedule. Wives are at lost all the time. Sometimes I make it a big deal, other times I just pretend I dont care anymore. It’s tiring to remind them and never change at all

Buy your own cake and favorite meal and when he comes in to see your leftovers you can tell him then

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Buy yourself a present and wrap it, open it in front of him

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Just be like yo, you forgot my birthday yesterday

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Prime example of people not taking serious other people’s love language. See he probably don’t care either way what you do for his so he not thinking too much about yours. Going thru the same wit my husband.

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Communication is key here. Sit him down and tell him how him forgetting made you feel. But don’t make it seem like you are attacking him (not saying you would but it’s easy to come off like that when upset.) If he doesnt know what’s wrong, how can he attempt to fix it?

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You will certainly miss your Ruby but glad her and her mum are back together again, you have done a wonderful job hun, hope everything goes well for your family :heart:

That stinks :confused: You have every right to be upset. Definitely mention it to him!

So sorry about that. I hear all these people saying “communication is key” but I get being really upset and needing some time to level yourself before approaching the issue. You’re allowed to be hurt and disappointed. Happy Birthday :birthday: treat yourself to something

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Life happens. If he makes it up to you don’t be mad.

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Just tell him be an adult

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Make a HUGE deal about his next birthday…go all out. He’ll feel so bad about forgetting yours and I bet he won’t do it again. :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:

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Communication is key so I’d just be like you forgot something important yesterday. Sit down and talk to him about it. You have a right to be upset but not telling him why and thinking this will make him suffer for it will not help any. If anything, he will find it annoying you haven’t told him what’s wrong and will just brush it off. Talk to him. Maybe he will make up for forgetting about it.

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Birthdays are hard to remember without reminders. Mine is today and I’ve spent the past month reminding him every day lol.

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Tell him why you’re mad , then take yourself out for a nice meal !

Well, being mad at him without telling him why is never the way to go. He may have so much on his mind it just slipped OR he doesn’t even realize what day of the week it is. So many things. Give him a chance to make it right if that’s the case. If he doesn’t then you can be mad. But this seems like such a miniscule thing to be fighting over. I hate celebrating my birthday, but my Husband also has it on his phone calendar so he has reminders🤷🏻‍♀️ Maybe put it in his calendar for him lol.

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Yikes. I guess next time instead of throwing a fit you can just leave a note on the calendar or say something :woman_shrugging:

Tell him you are going out to dinner to make up for his forgetting. See you later.

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I gave up caring about birthdays. They aren’t important to us anymore. But ya need to talk to him and explain why your upset not just be upset without communication. Communication is key and #1 to any healthy relationship.

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Tell him to look at a calendar and figure it out.

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I buy a cake mix and icing and leave it on the table a couple of days before mine… together for 23 years and he has never not baked me a cake or forgot…

Sometimes people forget things. Your feelings are still 100% valid, but instead of being mad i think you should talk to him. “I’m really hurt that you forgot my birthday this year and it felt like you don’t care as much for me because of it, even though I know that’s not what’s happening.” Give him the chance to apologize and do something special :heart::heart:

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Sometimes I think ppl just lose track of days let alone what date it is…I’m sure not intentionally done but sometimes I have to think if it’s Wednesday or Thursday…lol

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Not a big deal for me. I have gotten busy and forgotten my husband’s birthday and he has forgotten mine. No big deal . We say sorry and move on.

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Yeah mine probably would forget my birthday, the kids and all other family. Loads of reminders, I tell him usually exactly what I would like or a couple of options. And he’s usually pretty good.

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I would talk to him. If that doesn’t work, I wouldn’t acknowledge his!

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Sit down and talk to him. Simple as that. Communication. Maybe he honestly forgot. Being mad at him and him not knowing why because you won’t just talk to him and tell him why. Failure right there. How’s he supposed to know what he did wrong and why you’re mad if you don’t communicate your feelings.

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Don’t play the guessing game….communicate why you’re mad.

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Happy late birthday.I don’t expect anything from anyone,not even a simple birthday greeting.That way I won’t get hurt.Hope you had a great day.

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Half the time men don’t even know what day it is, they need their spouse to be blunt, straight forward and need reminding of everything. (Advice I had from a male) after all they can’t read our minds. Just let him know it was your birthday and that you would like to do something for it.

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Do the same to him… see how he likes it. Petty? Sure. But that seems to be the only thing that works for these lil boys.

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Either be an adult and communicate or move on

I’m sorry. :sleepy:

Men seem to forget special occasions. I don’t know why?

You can tell him how much it hurt you, or forget his next birthday. Or both. :grin: Communication is key. See what he says and does afterwards. ((Hugs)) :heartpulse:

You’ve got the same pants on to get glad in. Just think, you might not even have him period. Dates get away from people.

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Nahhhh​:joy::joy: never ever would he forget or would I forget…

Passive aggression is not the answer.

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I’m too spoiled. I couldn’t be with a man that didn’t think my birthday was special. My husband makes a big deal even if we can’t afford it, he will do something to let me know he loves me. Happy Birthday :gift:

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Life us too short to make little things a big deal, just tell him

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I would suggest don’t take it SO personally, men don’t pay attention to dates like we do, and he may have ALOT going on, lots on his mind, could be a total accident…just talk to him. Communication is key!! To everything.

Good luck and happy belated birthday!

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This is just a head game on your part…you could have reminded him casually many many times…why do this? Do you want to be pissed off, do you want to fight? Tell him you’re sorry you didn’t remind him and get on with being a grown up!

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Tell him why you are mad and make less of a deal about his birthday. Show his day the effort he shows yours

Probably stuck in work routine & forgot . Did you ever remind him before. Sometimes people need reminding.

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Not everyone makes big deals about adult birthdays
Treat yourself if you want to feel special

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I’m sorry…he probably does have alot going on regarding work nevertheless speak to him about it. Just Thank God that through all that’s been going on in this world you are blessed to still have each other.

It’s a birthday - Why do we celebrate them as some sort of personal achievement? If anything it should just be a “call your momma and thank her day”

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Just say hey hunny, yesterday was my birthday can we go out for dinner sometime this week!

No point in being angry… we don’t have perfect memories and shouldn’t be expected to remember everything.

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Your feelings are valid…

I bet if you buy yourself one of these next year, he will not forget❤️
:tada:Happy Belated Birthday
to Y😁u!

Sometimes people forget. The stress of a heavy workload and home and kids and maybe other things on his mind, it gets to a person. Remind him that he forgot but don’t make a huge deal to make him feel horrible. The older u get the more you’ll realize there are way bigger things to worry about.

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I know this really sucks and this is probably not what you want to hear but you married him so you must know that he’s either one, really bad at remembering important dates or two, really good at remembering important dates and this was very out of character. If it’s the latter, then you should talk to him and show grace. If it’s the first one, then you should know by now that he needs to be reminded weeks and days leading up until your birthday. By not saying anything at all, and then being mad at him and not telling him why is gaslighting. It’s toxic.

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We have been married for 42 years. Sometimes they forget things with work, kids, life in general. Mine is TERRIBLE with remembering birthdays for anyone, so I always kept the calendar where we all check to see what’s important dates are coming up. I do understand it hurts your feelings. But how is he, in general, as a husband? If he loves you and is faithful, a helpful partner in life, I would let it slide…BUT he will certainly be reminded and will pay dearly with a wonderful meal out, and gift of your choice, lol.

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It happens, life’s busy and honestly some people just aren’t good about that stuff. Just tell him.

I’m so sorry…. But you should send yourself birthday flowers with a blank card and never tell him where they came from!

My husband forgot mine too but made it up to me the moment he realized which was the next day

Being angry and not telling him why is pointless to you both, and just creates a negative space for everyone.
Sit down and tt him about how hurt you are feeling. Be open and honest.

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Does he usually forget important stuff? If not I’d tell him why your mad he’s only human we all forget things

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Just add it to his calendar in his phone with reminders a few days before, the day off etc…. Don’t sit and be mad about life is too short. Just say, I know you work hard for us, so I would like to add some important dates to your calendar to help you remember and keep us on track. For example my birthday was such and such date and that’s an important date I would like you to acknowledge so I am adding that to your calendar. People are human. I forgot our wedding anniversary every year even with reminders. We just joke about it now.

I had a husband who did this, I divorced him. Not for that one reason, there were hundreds of other little things that added up over time, I was just never a priority to him.
I hope this was just a one off and he makes it up to you :green_heart:

As hurt as you are communication is key. I’d ask him if he forgot what yesterday was?

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Wow I would be very upset as well! I’m sorry. You do need to let him know how deeply you are hurt. Life does get busy but we have so much technology at our disposal. He should have it on his calendar in his phone. No excuse to forget and not celebrate you.

Staying silent and then being spiteful ‘forgetting his’ is perfect way to communicate. People forget, tell him. I’d be more worried if you told him and he wasn’t sorry.

I make a big deal about everybody else’s birthday except mine. I personally hate my birthday.
My husband forgot my birthday when we were first together and felt so bad afterward and I let him know that my birthday isn’t really important to me.
Had it been, then I would have let him know " I felt a certain type of way when you forgot my birthday because it made me feel x y and z" what I’m trying to say is every person is different. And unless you talk to him and let him know why you are feeling the way you are feeling then he won’t know that he hurt you and if he doesn’t know he can’t work on improving.
I do suggest coming at it with a cool head. Because if this is the first time he forgot and you come in at 60 mph. Then instead of having a productive conversation where he hears you, he may immediately go on defense.
I hope this helps!

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Communicate that with him and tell him he owes you a day without his presence and money!

If he’s anything like my husband, he’s just not wired to remember this type of stuff. If you tell him that he missed it and he makes it right, then lesson learned and next year you remind him. If you tell him and he’s blasé about it, well that’s a different problem altogether.

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I guess you could be glad that’s the worst of the problems. I’ve been crying all day and had to beg for a fucking hug.

Tell him it’s your birthday month/week. Remember a lot of us weren’t given the opportunity of hype regarding birthdays. So it stick with one as they age. If you make it a big deal to celebrate his and want the same you need to tell him. Some times it takes years to break these cycles. Beauty in life i reckon, Not every one is the same nor had the same privilege as others. Also Happy Birthday, God willing he remembers next year :crossed_fingers:t4:

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my husband only did it once I went out the next day bought myself a nice piece of jewelry and showed it to him and told him thank you for my birthday gift since you didn’t remember my birthday I figure I owed myself something. Over 40 years later he still remembers my birthday and mother’s day

Anyone can remember what they want, what’s important to them. Talk to him now. Don’t let it fester and ruin your mood any more. You’re only hurting yourself