Wow 9 hrs thats too much no way his friends stay out that long specially if they also have family. Mine invites his friends and their wives over and only goes out 1 or twice a month for 2 or 3 hrs the most, and always asks me in advance if we have anything going on that day.
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I had that problem, he would leave and stay out all night, he came home one day divorce papers on table, I have never had a problem since.
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Two can play this game. Tell him you are going to hang with girl friends. No time limit. He has to stay home with kids. See how he likes it
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Buy a tracker and have someone install it on the car. Have a friend he does not know shadow him. Talk to his friend’s wife to see if he is really out too. Check miles on car. Hide spy cam in car {They make them real small now days}. ETC.
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I’ve been with my wife 32 years, she doesn’t ask me when I’ll be back, I do not ask her, we just say “be careful”
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The fact that it doesn’t occur to him that you may feel worried and/or hurt by this speaks volumes. Or he simply doesn’t care.
*** Some people won’t agree with this but because of things I found out he was doing this is what I did for our relationship***
I had issues with this while I was dating my now husband and then into the first 6 months of our marriage. He goes fishing and hunting so I had his location on my phone if he ever didn’t come home from a trip but he also had mine. Outside of his trips on regular days He would be gone for hours and I wouldn’t hear from him and when I did he would say I’m leaving now and would never show. I finally started actually showing up to where he was sometimes this was 2 am! He would tell me I was being embarrassing but after 3 times of me showing up he no longer stays out late. We finally had a real heart to heart conversation about it after the last time and he finally realized that I wasn’t doing it to be controlling it was about respect for me and our relationship.
Not at all. You are only showing your love and care of worrying about someone and he should make sure to spend an equal amount of time with his wife
When my husband said he was out with his friends he was out with some @#$%& he met on a dating website
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So sad to keep reading about all these women who aren’t acting like the queens they are! You deserve better! Don’t ever second guess your worth. You’re allowing him to treat you like that. Treat him how he’s treating you and see if he likes it. Wake up!
Did that forever…not married to him anymore. Don’t put up with it!
No I agree with you. Try to put the shoe on the other foot and give him the same answer see what he.has to say. Just get dressed to go out with the girls. Even if you are only going to go visit someone like his sister or mother or your sister or mother.
Take it easy, stop asking and see if he just tells you. Do the opposite of what he expects. It will start him thinking.
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I don’t think so. He just wants to be in control. My ex was the same way. I think it’s disrespectful. He would insist I tell him where, what time etc…
I say what’s good for him is good for you, it want be long until yall will be going out together or staying home together
You start going out and act the same way. See how he likes it.
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When he says he’s going somewhere you go somewhere then when he returns be sure and tell him that you left for a while, because when he realizes that you didn’t just sit at home when he left he’ll think twice before he goes, if that makes sense. He needs to grow up and be more responsible there’s nothing wrong with him hanging out with his friends occasionally but he could at least limit his time. The last time my loving husband did that after he left I left also but didn’t tell him where I was going and when I got home he got home a few minutes after me and I was sure to mention where I went he was surprised and since then we do more things together
No you are not. He sounds like a passive aggressive person, who does not appear to have the courtesy to allow other people make plans accordingly.
sounds like he just doesnt want to be pressed for time, try bringing up to him that your not trying to control when he comes home, you just like to know how long, if he knows, he plans on being away.
Use these same treatment on him when you know he has plans but I would put a pi on him
No it is a legitimate question! What are they doing for 9.hours? Does he have a history of cheating?
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My ex did that. There was more to his nights out than he was telling me.
You need to nip this I. The butt ASAP do not try to defend him that he a good man cause if he was he wouldn’t speak to you that way.
I mean…I go out with my gal friends, get caught up talking and 2 hours turns into 4-5…
You need to go out with your friends and see if he likes it.
I wouldn’t even ask anymore. Let him think you don’t care. Find some girls to go out with and tell him back in a few . See how long he starts to wonder what your up to.
Comming from a Christian male. You are not controlling by asking. does he answer his phone if you were to call him? He may not know how long it will be but should be responding to a phone call. I go and tell my wife where I am going but dont know how long it will be but she is always free to call me! Just remember Two wrongs don’t make a right. Tell him how it makes you feel.
You might want to try the same thing with him. Go out with your girlfriends and you don’t know what you will be home
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Why doesn’t he want to be more open and defined about it…red flag
Tell him you’re going out for a bit and stay gone two or three days
Why don’t you do the same thing a couple of times and see what he downturn it around
Do the same! So how often do you leave for “a bit” to go hang out with your own friends?
Maybe he has a part time job on the side and he saving the money to buy you that giant diamond ring or take you on that luxurious honeymoon you never had or wants you to have a new car or designer clothing. But i would bet hes not doing any of that. You know what you should do? Show him the replys that you got from people on your question. I bet that will take care of the problem!
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Start doing the same thing show him how it feels.
It’s a male/female thing - their brains work differently so the thought process is different.
When we were first married, my husband would go hunting or fishing with his friends and they might be gone like you say 2 hours or 12 hours. I just never could get a straight answer !
But now when I leave to run errands or go shopping (haven’t done that one lately) he says how long will you be gone, I tell him awhile. He pushes and I say I just don’t know - and if he continues to push I remind him of those days (we’ve been married 38 years so it was awhile ago) when he’d go out for “a while”.
He doesn’t usually say much after that.
It’s actually a bit of a joke between us now.
If I’m out late after work running errands, I can tell he is genuinely concerned and I don’t do much at night when I’m alone but sometimes that’s the only time I have !
They just think and react differently than we do - they’re just different !
You’re far from overreacting! Shame in him. You’re his wife. Not cool whatsoever.
It’s called courtesy. Give an approximate time, and call if you’re going to be longer.
Your not an inferior human being, so don’t allow him to disrespect you. He is being selfish!
Tell your husband you need to know what time he will be coming home so you will be able to sneak your other man in and out before he gets back.
I believe he’s probably cheating if he gets upset when you ask him next time ask if you can go with him and if their wives go also if not that means he’s cheating if he gets too offensive sorry to say but you need to think about it if you fill in your gut that he’s cheating then he is don’t let this get out of control nip it in the but before your get hurt
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Not everyone is suitable to get married. Some married people want to live like he/she is single. That’s irresponsible. Might as well stay single. You can choose to trust your spouse, but that doesn’t mean he will be honest to you. Hanging out with friends pretty regularly shows that he is not keen to spend time with family.
Change the question? How long do you think you will be so I will know if I should wait up?
No this would piss me off when I ask I get a few hours but he texts when on way home but I would just do it back to him show him how it feels then talk about it
Do you trust him? That is the real question here. I’m sure he has a phone if there is an emergency. I’m sure, if you needed him home at a specific time and you made him aware of it, he would be there. If you dont trust him, walk away. If you do, why are you worried? So many questions!! Is there a specific time limit that makes you feel comfortable for him to hang out? Are you comfortable talking about this? Your comment about him not being ok with the questions makes me think he is wondering why you feel like you have to ask him these things? When I go out, I’ll get to shopping, talking, whatever and will wander in when I am ready. If he needs me, he calls or messages and I always answer. Same for him, but I dont ever ask about a specific time. I dont want to be held to that then feel like i have to call and ask for more time. I’m grown and trustworthy. But I have had an ex that did this to me and used his away time to cheat. It is the person and the trust you have. Asking questions wont change anything, just make him have to make up a lie if he is being shady. So. Again, do you trust him?
When my husband did that he was screwing around. Sorry
You need to have a night out with your girlfriends, see what he says???
Easy fix. Just be gone doing what you want and don’t come home till he has been home a few hours. Then see who’s controlling
Gee why is he married to you if he wants to spend all his time with friend why isn’t he married to his friends ?
No!! Sounds shady to me!! He us doing something he should not be doing. You need to check things!!
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No your not over reacting, start blowing him off and go make your own plans!
Only if turnabout is fair play!!!
Does he spend the same amount of time with you ?
All I can say I stayed in a marriage 20+ years. Being a Christian I had been married before and didn’t want another failed marriage. He always promised to be home shortly but never came home till 2am or later or not at all. He was a drinker. Finally I had enough. Get help or get out. No regrets. He left.
Are his friends single or married?
Check if he is really out with friends. Sounds dodgy to me.
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So get dolled up and go out with your friends tell him the same thing and go see how he likes it.
Can him! He is probably cheating.
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Get up get your self read a go out your door and have some nice CLEAN fun ,let him have some of him own disrespect.
If he is otherwise a good husband let it be
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No you are not…he is hiding something…trust me
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He just doesn’t want you to do your thing, just in case you get some ideas.
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Two can play that game.
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Not at all - if you are married and he’s acting like a college frat boy he is very disrespectful to you… Sorry but I’d say his ‘friends’ is a girlfriend.
9 hours just hanging out with the boys -seriously???
Call the wives of his friends. Put a gps on his phone like a child. Follow him, snook and spy in his car when he is sleeping, his wallet, his texts, etc…
I say all this sadly from experience.
Follow your instincts!!!
I would follow him till the end of the night they do not go out that long
I don’t think it’s about trust as much as consideration.
Prolly cheating.Should be going out together.
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Why ask anyone…your grown you know how much of his BS YOU’LL “KEEP” TAKING…HELL DOWNLOAD 360 ON HIS PHONE you’ll know exactly where he goes
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He’s Probably doing something he Shouldn’t be doing.!!!
Maybe follow him one night , then you’ll find out
No You’re Not, but He Is:bangbang: 
Go with him and don’t take no for an answer
Dump him ! Too many good guys out there ! Find one who will take you with him !
He’s fooling around and he knows he can get away with it
Sounds suspicious to me. He may be up to something.
If he had any respect for you he would tell you without asking…kick him to the curb,with his friends
No, becauz he demand you tell him
how long you will be gone .
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He’s probably having an affair. Be real.
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Start going out with your friends.
Trying to hide something
Just follow him and see what hes up to. Hes your husband, not your boyfriend. You have the right to know where and how long.
That can go two ways
If he’s your husband he should be home
No.you go out with the girls and give him the same
Answer.If you have kids
Get a babysetter.
Sounds like cheating to me
Ps. Not the husband in my picture here …ha ha
You can track his phone
When he asks how long you will be out with your girlfriends tell him a bit. Then be gone for 6 or 7 hours OH AND LEAVE THE KIDS WITH HIM.
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It’s called communication which he isint doing. Hes being a dick.
Ugh hate men like that.
Why did you ask.Get ready to go out with your friends.why dont you go out with your friends? Dont tell him a damn thing.I dont care if i was hoing out or not.I would get dressed fit to kill if i had to go to a movie i would go i would make sure i wouldnt come home intil after him.No way he is going out and me sitting at home.Why are you letting him talk to you like that? Do ask him anymore you just gi and do your thing.None of his business two can play that game.No way would i put up with that im sorry but that is bullshit.
That is suspicious, run
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Super disrespectful.
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looks like you need some girl friends lol . Get yourself a Harley
Oh hell no, you aren’t overreacting girl. He’s up to something, while hanging with Friends is normal it’s usually in variation and I always tell my spouse what I’m doing, where I’m going and who I will be with, not because he’s controlling but because it’s respect!
I would have problems with my husband going out worried what he was doing but I was insecure then after 14 years found out he was cheating on me and left me for her moved in with her we were split up for about a month and got back together he would still talk to her but it finally ended but the girl stalked us mainly me for 3 years we finally got rid of her but he cheated again that was not long I caught him on that one then a few years later he found a person on Facebook and started talking to her that lasted almost 3 years but I was not innocent myself I did cheat on him too but I started going back to church but he was still talking to her I prayed and had my church pray he finally started back to church and now we have been married going on 32 years in October got 4 grandbabies and now we have trust I am not afraid anymore that he is out doing something he should not be doing because I know who is in control now and that’s our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ I’m not saying your husband is out cheating on you but when they are being secretly a lot of times that is one thing that is going on or doing something they shouldn’t
If u both have cell.pgones ask him to put his location on so u can see where he is tell him in case of emergency u know where to find him watch then what happens if he doesn’t then it’s time to say good by if he isn’t hiding any thing he will. Absolutely put his location on for u just out of respect. There is nothing wrong of him or u wanted to go.out with your friends every one needs time away from each other once in a while
No you’re not over reacting, and honey it’s going to get a lot worse. He’s not mature enough for a commited relationship.
Been there done that. Done with all of that. Time to move on.
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Just once, be gone when he gets home…they don’t like it when we aren’t there home waiting for them!, once or twice might just do the trick!
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He is the controlling prat. Yes, him. He is making you feel guilty when he is in the wrong. It is plain common courtesy to let a significant other know how long you will be gone. Regardless of who you’re with or where you are going.
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When I first married my husband did this to me. I was pregnant. So I got dressed up and went out. Didn’t come directly home from work a couple times and slept over night at my aunts once. This is the time before cell phones. Once it bothered him enough to bring it up. I was prepared to discuss my thought on our behavior and relationship goals. The behavior stopped. I never yell, but I always get my point across.