Krystal Elaine Maynard Hemphill what’s your opinion I just posted mine
Flip phone. Problem solved. 
an 8yr of DOES NOT need a phone!!
I would say she can have a tablet but not a phone she don’t go anywhere where she needs a phone. A tablet she can “talk to friends” on kids messenger and play games other than that she don’t have a reason… say you think she needs to wait till she is 11 it’s something to look forward to. I put my foot down with my husband cause my 14 year old has a phone and behind my back he told our 7 year old he will buy her one I said nope not happening. She is not going anywhere alone so she don’t need one she has a tablet that with no internet only wifi so unless she is home it only plays games. Stay strong mama ur right In this
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Well first off you should stop saying my daughter and his daughter. That might solve some issues. The girls should be treated equally when it comes to blending families. However an 8 year old doesn’t need a phone. And she doesn’t need anything that wasn’t appropriate for her sister at the same age. I agree with that. Sounds like there are bigger issues.
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I mean if the 11 year old had a friend that asked to have a sleep over then ya let her go. If the 8 year old has a friend that wanted a sleep over then sure. It will not always be on the same night that sleep overs would happen. Doesn’t mean it cant happen or that you said no. Maybe one kid just wasn’t invited. As far as a phone for an 8 year old. Just no. What do they have to look forward to if they get everything at 8. He’s being ridiculous.
This sounds more like he’s worried about the other child feeling insecure or less loved. Or maybe he is worried and projecting. Not that you’re causing it.
Fair is getting what every one needs. Fair is not everyone getting the same thing!! Maybe the 8yo needs some encouragement to dream her own dreams! Find out what she is interested in. Maybe substitute for a tablet instead. Maybe she wants a whole art set lol idk what is the younger one interested in?
And not for nothing… As a sibling and not an only child, she will often have to share. And instead of not blaming her for wanting something to herself, teach her ways to be selfless with her siblings!
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Must feel like you have four kids, that’s exhausting, and that’s ridiculous. Tell him to grow up or hit the door with the 8-year old.
You both need to sit down and really talk. Start with age and whats appropriate. Are you wanting to give more because its '"your child "? Maybe that’s what he feels. Or is it because she is 11 etc? Set rules and be open minded. He may well be just petty, but he may feel your spoiling “your” child.
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If the 8 year old needs a phone to talk to her bio mom why not? We got our 7 year old granddaughter a phone because her dad’s side of the family wouldn’t let us talk to her if we called. We learned that we didn’t need to call when she was there but that’s a lesson learned. She was also in sports and was always able to call if it was canceled, let out early, she was hurt etc. It was great. She’s been responsible with it since. Sleep overs are fine too. That way the kids are occupied for the night. Puck your battles.
When the 11 year needs a bra, starts her period, a sport, etc what’s going to happen then?
So when the 11 yr old is 16 and old enough to date is he gonna allow the younger one to suddenly date? Or how about driving? He needs to learn the 11 yr old is headed towards independence sooner and the younger one will have her day in due time. I mean ffs when the 11 yr old get her period he isn’t gonna want to buy the 8 yr old pads too is he? Because that is how ridiculous he is being.
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Your daughter is always going to do things first she’s older. When she gets her license first is he gonna bitch about that to? He needs to understand your a blended family!!
I know how you feel. I have a mixed family, 3 are mine and 2 are his. 9,8,7,6 and 5 in ages. Mine are the 8, 7 and 5 year old. His two are spoiled at their mom’s, his parent’s, and he spoils them when he can. Mine only have me. We have his 2 every 2 weeks. He sometimes gets annoyed when I want to do something with just mine ( when his aren’t here) or get them a treat or toy without getting one for the other two to have when they get here. It gets exhausting that I can’t do something for my kids to enjoy or do something fun with them without hearing a remark or him having a slight attitude about it. Even though his kids get extra trips, extra toys extra etc more then half the time his parent’s prefer to just have their biological grandchildren stay over night, come play, go on small outings etc. My 3 occasionally get to go over to their house and things have been a bit better these days but sometimes it still bugs me. It’s not that I’m trying to exclude them. But not everything should have to revolve around them either. Its shaky ground on that subject but we talk about it when it really starts to bug one or the other of us and I think it does some good. Lol honestly I think that’s just an issue some mixed families have 
try talking to him about it and see if that helps.
Keeping score is not good for a marriage.
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Have you asked him why he gets so upset about it? Maybe he feels like his daughter will feel unloved or something:woman_shrugging:t2:. My stepdad was the same way to the point if it was your birthday you got a present so all the other kids had to get a present too. 
I think it would be worth sitting down with the 4 of you and discussing it because there is obviously something going on. Maybe the 8 year old is crying to him that she feels left out and you won’t figure it out till you talk about it.
It shouldn’t be your daughter, his daughter and our daughter, it should be our Children for all the kids… Now I under stand your trying to explain the situation however personally. Unless it’s a birthday we don’t buy something for just one child without getting the other kids something as well. That’s not fair and no cause of there age difference they usually get different things there into. 2nd Blended families are a lot of work but all children in them should feel equal and loved. There shouldn’t be Mine and Yours. It should just be ours.
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Nurture the sibling relationship and CELEBRATE the differences. They’re not the same child, and THATS OKAY.
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I don’t agree with sleepovers or buying your daughter something and not his. I only agree with the phone. Simply because of maturity. I have 4 kids, husband has 1, and together we have 1. My older 4 and his have pretty equal things. Sleepovers is something my 8 and our 2 year old doesn’t get to do. 8 year old bc she doesn’t ask or not invited. Example an uncle invites the bonus kid over a lot Simply bc his son is home every weekend and his daughter is rarely not at grandparents house. When she is home they both go. I invite both here as well. 2 year old is a little bit to little to go anywhere and when he has he doesn’t make it all night except grandmas. But if I buy one clothes all get new clothes. New shoes same thing. The cell phone is a debate I think 16 is the appropriate age but I see why my husband thinks his 11 year old should have one when his parents live in opposite states and we try calling all summer and mom won’t let him talk. But my kids dads are in same state so there is no point till 16. This has been explained in detail to the 13 12 and 8 year old. They all understand why he might get a phone earlier. If I ground one for doing something they all know if they do it too they get the same punishment. The only unfair thing is time spent. The 11 year old sometimes feels left out but it’s not on purpose I just can’t catch when he wants to spend time with me when I am not running out the door. But normally when we get back it is offered he says never-ending or nah I will catch you later. The time is there they just need to take advantage of it.
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to me they all should have the same right’s so that means the others have to wait till they are her age or responsible as she is to get it … this is called responsibility and teaching them right from wrong and where they stand
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Depends… Is the phone a decision you made with your 11 year old a decision between her dad and you? If so, that’s your co-parenting and your choice, but at the same time if he and his x decide to get his child one that’s their choice as well.
Going into a relationship with previous children means communication is extremely important. As a mom I’d feel bad if my husband was getting things with for his child but I could not for mine. And as a child I’d feel bad always being left out as well. Children see things differently and from their POV they’re being pushed aside(even if that’s now how you intended it)
From my POV he’s also protecting his child and her feelings.
OF COURSE I do not know the full story. I am ONLY giving a different POV.
Sometimes when we argue we do it to win, and we forget to even open ourself to the possibility of even TRYING to see it from their POV.
Honestly. There is noooo right and wrong in this situation. Because you BOTH have valid points, But it sounds like maybe a discussion on is needed where you both sit down WILLING TO LISTEN to your partner. If you’re shouting to be heard, you won’t be able to listen. Same goes for him.
Best of luck.
In the blended family I grew up in 5 girls 1 boy it went by age. Each child got certain things at a certain age, all of us would get that thing or privilege when we turn that age it didn’t matter witch parent was your biological one when you reached the appropriate age you would have the privilege or thing.
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An 8 year old doesn’t need a phone just Bc an older one got one
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Teach earning things and not entitlement
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Parent of 30yrs Bio,Foster adoptive commenting, Dad NEEDS to get a grip. Instilling that kind of ENTITLEMENT at 8 isn’t going to Fix itself when she’s 13 Demanding a Car of her own bc the 16 year old has one. Is He willing to let her Date at 13? Well get ready for that too, and that’s not to mention the 4 yr old watching this foolishness. An 8 yr old dosen’t need a phone nor does the 4 yr old. As to having sleep overs, that was a PRIVILEGE in our home our kids EARNED with not having to be told or Reminded to do chores, and performing to expectations in school. It was thier choice to have a buddy over OR stay over. That Level of privilege was reached at around 11/12 , as they did the Big Kid chores cutting the grass, doing laundry ect, the younger ones did the lesser chores of vacuuming, feeding the animals ect and got to order pizza and Movies Get to stay up Late .Bigger responsibility = Bigger Privileges . We didn’t send the younger kids with the older kids bc the Older kids were attending a Birthday party at the skating ring, Not your Peer you weren’t invited plain and simple. NO is a complete SENTENCE Dad should try it.
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Really some of you sound so stupid. That’s like saying the 11 year old gets her period and needs tampons/pads. So you should buy some for the younger kids because it just wouldn’t be fair to not get them too! Life is not fair, it’s called teaching our kids they can’t have everything everyone else has instead of teaching them to be spoiled brats that get everything everyone else has.
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Your husband clearly is having some issues. You may need a mediator or outside help. I cant believe he thinks and 8 year old should have the same privileges as an 11 year old.
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People saying that they both need the same thing that’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard! His kid doesn’t need everything that your kid has or do everything your kid does, I think 8 is to young to be doing anything period, when I was growing up I didn’t get a phone till I was 16 and it was a phone that had minutes and me and my sister shared it and we only had it when we went somewhere and they wasn’t around! I say worry about your kid, if he wants to put the money out to get a 8 year old a phone I would have him put it on his own bill 
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What blows my mind is the grammar on this comment thread.
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Some of the things seem unreasonable on both sides. It sounds like he may feel you don’t treat the girls the same. Yes, some can be due to age but it seems more than that. Does his daughter live with you? Or is it only your daughter and the daughter you share. If it is it’s hard to have the same rules for everyone when 1 isn’t there all the time. If she lives with her mother and he wants to get her a phone to have contact with her when they’re not together he should. Is there anything special the 8 year old gets or does on her own without the 4 year old? Blended families can be difficult and sometimes can’t be as cut and dry. Your suppose to be 1 family, seems like he may feel she’s left out of that and maybe feels guilty. I do think you need to talk and both compromise on things.
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The sleepover, the 8yr old should get to do it a DIFFERENT weekend, let them each have their own.
The phone? Absolutely not, ridiculous, maybe a tablet or something for the younger two, but not a phone, and NOT just because the older child got it.
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He needs to learn what age appropriateness is. As they get older, they have both more privileges and more responsibility. My 17 year old keeps his grades up and chores done. He is allowed to have a job, and he pays for his own phone. My 15 year old can’t keep her grades up, and I often take her phone away. She’s old enough to work, and wants to, but she doesn’t keep up her chores, so I don’t trust her to do whatever she’s being paid to do. My 11 year old isn’t quite ready for a phone, and really has no use for one, but he gets his gaming stuff taken away far less often than the 15 y/o. I know that my 8 year old would destroy a phone in 24 hours. Age appropriateness, maturity, behavior, grades all need to come into play. If the older kid got a phone at 11, consider 11 an appropriate age to discuss getting the younger one a phone. (They will soon be driving, and getting cars, 3 years apart. Age appropriate.)
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I had an older sister, just because she did something or got something didn’t mean I did, there was an age gap and maturity gap. Same with my big brothers. I did get sleep overs, never at the same timeas my sis(that’s too much chaos lol)but she could have more friends over for hers because they were old enough to not be spazzed out and I got 2 at most unless it was like a birthday sleepover until I was mature enough to not be spazzed out with my friends because kids can be wild lol
Kids having cell phones was not a thing when I was that age though so can’t help with that one lol
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My 8 yr old son was the same way w his full older sister. It’s just a sinking thing so I got him an Android that wasn’t on just used wifi to play games so he didn’t feel left out. He just begged me or his sister to play on ours every day any way.
Lifes not fair… never will be
My kids got phones at 12. My son had his 2 years before she got one. The sleep over thing was an every weekend thing for both unless it was a tournament weekend.
Maybe some professional help in this situation (therapist, decon, preacher …) As a couple so he can see you don’t love his child less just because the 11 year old gets a privilege and the 8 year old doesn’t. Age and responsibility is a huge factor decisions.
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Tell him that they don’t need to always get the same things. Sometimes the 8 year old will do or get something and sometimes the 11 year old will. It’s not a competition. No one is leaving the 8 year old out because she’s from a previous relationship. He needs to get that through his head
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That’s absolutely unnecessary and devalues everything your 11 year old gets. Each child deserves special time, hobbies, etc. just because my oldest plays t ball doesn’t mean I let his younger brother play on his team. My kids get their own special things and times.
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Just because you give a toddler fruit snacks doesn’t mean you have to give your 2 month old fruit snacks. 
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Your husband is jealous of your relationship with your eldest daughter. On top of that it seems he want to give his daughter what she wants to make her happy. Like its easier for him to give in to her. He needs to be a parent not his daughters best buddy.
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My daughter got an Android without service to watch movies and play games on at 4. My niece and nephew 10 and 11 pitched a fit. But my daughter takes care of her things where they didn’t and still don’t. They’d broken numerous computers, tablets, and tvs. My daughter has the same phone 4 years later. Both have broken at least 2 phones, 2 laptop s, and 2 flat screen tvs in that time.
Just wait until the oldest wants to wear makeup.
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His kid vs my kid is the issue. They are your kids if being raised under one roof treat them fairly, but also use normal discretion. My 14 year old gets way more stuff than our 3 year old, but it has nothing to do with any yours vs mine since they have the same parents they just get what we say and move on.
Maybe his 8 year old is telling him how “it’s not fair” etc. And I’m sure he feels guilty for not being with the mom.
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This happens between all siblings, its not just a blended family issue. My 13 year old thinks he should be able to do everything his fifteen year old brother can but just because they’re siblings does not mean one deserves what the other has or the same freedoms, especially if they are not the same age . It’s only fair, it’s not like you’re trying to not include her. Everyone gets treated equally so tell him it’s unfair the way he tries to give YOUR middle daughter (because that’s what they all should be, YA’LLS daughters) any and every little thing just because her older sister does or has it. Honestly, it seems his hostility may come from feeling like your kids are your own when you all are a family. It sounds more like a problem or miscommunication on the adults end. At that point the only way to solve is to be on the same page. You may have to be the bigger person and tell him you love your middle daughter like your own but in no way is she being left out, it all actuality he is giving her special privileges by allowing her things she is not ready for or just because her sister gets it and that’s not fair. That would be a hard no for me, stand your ground and insist on this. Either they all get treated the same or you’re just asking for trouble in the long run.
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Make him feel like if the 8 year old gets something then the 4 year old should too! Show him how ridiculous he’s being by being the same way with the youngest. If the 8 year old stays up later then the 4 year old does and so on!
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Why not have both kids a sleepover. Different days of course and I’m sure different friends. Ensure the father and the eight year old that if she is mature and trustworthy she to will have a phone at 11. Of course when you give such a large gift to the 11 year old you need to do something equally important that is age appropriate for the 8 year old…New tablet, video game, swing set, etc.
I’m all for equality , but not like phones or mature related issues. I may treat them equal when it comes to tv,tablets, and the sleepovers but draw the line on things that come with maturity
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He’s failing the 8 year old and I feel so bad for your 11 year old. We just got my 8 year old an iPod that he can use with WiFi but he’s mature for his age. Your 11 year old probably doesn’t feel much of a sense of individuality and your husband needs to grow up.
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Ugh, my parents were like that when my dad remarried but I was 13 and my brothers were like 2,3, and 8 when I met them. It was mainly annoying cause I was babysitting them often, I always wondered why they were allowed all these same things…it messed with me a bit and definitely caused most of our fights…maybe just try having him hold off on things like presents until the next birthday or Christmas? Maybe one sister can leave for the weekend if the other has a friend over?
When older daughter gets something age appropriate get something for the younger child age appropriate… you wouldn’t want it the other way around would you
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Ask him if he will feel the same way when the 11 year old is old enough to date 
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That’s not how being siblings works. I’d snap back with “then we also have to get the 4 year old a phone” and “the 4 yo needs a friend over too” to prove my point because that is SO childish maybe being childish is the only language he understands.
Sounds like maybe he has some issues he needs to work out? Do you have his daughter full time, or is it part time? Maybe he’s got some guilt about that, and doesn’t want to say no? Guilt about something? Idk. If it’s an issue within himself I’d suggest he does whatever he needs to to deal with it. Otherwise I’d suggest family therapy maybe an outside party listening in can value some insight and helpful tips to deal with different kids, and different ages. It shouldn’t be such a battle.
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Tell him straight, back off grow up or piss off, you got 2 kids under your roof, you dont need 3
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Lol ask him when your daughter gets put on birth control, should his daughter be put on it as well 
…or when your daughter can start to wear makeup id buy a kids set for his daughter and see how he likes it
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I know it’s no longer 1970-something. But I’m 3.5 years older than my brother. When we got to be that age my bedtime was a little later. I had more “freedom” but with freedom came responsibly. I parented my girls the same way (4.5 years apart). My brother and I don’t hate each other or our parents. Nor do my daughters. My dads favorite response to “that’s not fair” was “you’re right, the fair only comes once a year and, well darn, it’s not July.” Or if it was July it was August (the state fair). Sometimes we all need to learn that it is what it is. It’s not always about us or against us.
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Omg that is exactly how my dad was with my sister and I!! Everything I had to wait til I was old enough for, she got to do the same time I did… And I’m almost 4 years older. I hated it. I resented her bc of it as a kid/teen. Not anymore but I feel for your oldest 
Well they don’t share a birth year. And bcuz of this, I believe older children need “perks of the position”. If they deserve a phone by behaving responsibly, so be it. I consider a phone imperative, regardless of age but as a “rite of passage”. For sure. There are no “steps” in family (or half’s) unless you live in a 2 story house lol
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It’s not that either of you are wrong but you definitely need to have some open communication between just the two of you. If you feel like maybe some things are rewarded or just for the one child, give them special times with their friends on separate weekends that way it’s still fair to each of the kids but they feel like it’s still their time. But definitely talk with your husband about how you’re feeling but not in front of the kids because then they see that it’s like taking sides and the kids will hold that against you.
Do something age appropriate for or with the 8 year old. Maybe just you and 8 year old. No way 8n hell would i get an 8yr old a phone. Figure out what the kid enjoys talk to the kid and say we feel your not old enough for a phone but maybe we can do x y or z together?
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I’ve gone thru this. It’s so tiring. With age comes more perks and the older one deserves her own things. I feel for her. My daughter is starting to resent her step dad
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His actions indicate he may be operating from a deep seated fear and a tinge of guilt… overcompensating… This may be of some value to you: When Guilty Father Syndrome Threatens Your Marriage | HuffPost Life
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Hold your ground. No means no. If he doesn’t like it separate for a while. He will come around
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I’d be passive aggressive and say well why don’t we get the four-year-old a phone and then when he replies because she’s not old enough to say exactly neither is the eight-year-old
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Yikes. They’re 3 years apart!!! They don’t get the same things or to do the same things. It’s about age and maturity. We have 7 kids. The oldest 3 are 12 1/2, 11, and turning 10 in a few weeks. The oldest is the only one with a cell phone that has service. The 11 and almost 10 year old have our old cell phones that only work with WiFi. Your husband sounds like he’s on a power trip acting like you’re treating the oldest better because she’s your bio kid, when I’m reality she gets more responsibilities and more leeway due to her age and maturity. He needs to realize this because otherwise y’all will always be fighting and that 8 year old is going to grow up very entitled believing she should get everything that other people around her get.
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I definitely agree that a 8 year old should not have a phone and be able to do everything the 11 year old does but I just feel like there’s more to this like the dad getting mad 
is the 8 year old being left out is the 11 year old getting things often and not the 8 year old definitely need to do age appropriate things the 8 year old probably looks up to the 11 year old and wants to be like her that happens with kids when your getting stuff for 11 year old are you getting stuff for the 8 year old when the older child has a sleep over maybe plan something fun to do with the 8 year old talk to your husband and y’all set the 8 year old down and explain to her that she’s still to young for a phone and she can’t do everything the older one does but have her chose something fun she’s like to do or if there’s something that she might like that she’s been wanting that’s age appropriate for her age sometimes just talking to the child and letting her know why she can’t do everything the older child does and giving her other options and letting her chose something she wants to do age appropriate can do wonders kids are pretty good at understanding and pretty smart and try and remember younger kids like to be like older siblings sometimes because they look up to them I understand your daughter is 11 and gets irritated or hates it but you should talk to her to and maybe she should include her once in awhile on things like play together or watch a movie together something because it’s not gonna keep continuing one day the 4 year old is gonna be looking to both of them wanting to be like them it’s just all about everyone feeling included and using communication even with the kids
Tell him she has a boyfriend and see if he says his 8 year old needs one too!
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He sounds like another child In the house 
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I don’t like the way ur wording references to each child my my 11 year old, the the 8 year old??? Not both my 11 year an my 8 year old. There’s seems to be favorites. With just how u present each child. So maybe fix that first. your married there both your kids… I’d be upset if I was the 8 year old just by reading this wouldn’t feel like part of the family just off that. This goes deeper than what we see.
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Don’t make a difference between the kids or one day you will regret it!! RB
Equity vs equality. Very important difference there.
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Have you guys considered getting the 8 year old a tablet with parental locks or the kids watch phones? While I agree 8 is very young to have an actual cell phone you can find middle ground. He just doesn’t want his daughter left out. As far as sleep overs go that should be his and bio moms decision for his daughter.
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Nope. No need for the 8 yr old to have it, now if the 11 yr old got it at 8 I could see maybe allowing it but life isn’t fair and my kids have to know 4 specific things before they get a phone.
My mom solved this problem by creating rules that were set by age and that was that. When we reached a certain age we got to do things and that’s all there was to it. I was older and got to do things before my brother and there were times my punishment and my brothers reward was him being allowed to do my privilege that one time.
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Favoritism and blood!! I went thru the same thing then I told my husband I’m going to start treating his daughter the way he treats my son… made him open his eyes real fast!! I’d never treat her any different btw I love her like she’s my own I have known her n loved her since she was 11 months old now she’s 14 my son is 12 13 on the 17th but I understand where u r coming from! It’s not fair at all but also w the age difference on ur part the older sister should b able to b older not 
equal w the youngest when it comes to growing n maturing… now as the parent n spouse it’s up to u to make him c that treating his oldest daughter differently affects her in ways it won’t be able to b fixed she’s going to grow and feel left out unloved not good enough and may try ways to show u and at that time it could b to late. I overdosed and cut myself numerous times… I was that 11 yr old I have a stepdad and his daughter (my sister) is 6 years younger then me and she was his everything and I felt like I was nothing for years!! It was hard to handle… but I would nip that shit in the butt before u don’t get a chance to
Maybe do something alone just for the 8 year old so he doesn’t think k your being biest. Difrent ages difrent rewards
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Fair would be to get the 8yrs old the same stuff at the age the 11yr old got it. An 8yr old getting a phone if the 11yr old had to wait is not fair. Plus the older child is more mature. If your husband can’t see that logic there is something else going on. I hope it gets better for you
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May as well give the 4 year old a phone too if that’s his attitude
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Compare it to getting a license. Your daughter will get it at 16. Will his 13 year old then get one??? Ummmm no. There are age criteria to certain things. This sounds like a mess in all honesty
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I can relate to this 100%. You all need to sit down and talk about the situation. Explain that there will be times that the other child will get things, get to do things, etc. that the other doesn’t & that it’s just part of life.
He needs to grow up! Kids need to earn things not just hand it to them because someone else has it. That is why we has so many spoiled brats running around thinking someone owes them something.
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Your husband sounds like a full grown child.
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If he gets 8year old something does he also get the 11year old ? I can see both sides.
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Childish…he knew you had a child from previous relationship, eventually child does grow. And need things…sm luxuries included.as his will grow too…when it’s her time to receive she will dont rush it…
Nope! Sorry but we are a blended house here too. He has a 14,13,&9yo I have a 6yo and we have 9mo. They have all learned that just because one gets something does NOT mean they all get something. The oldest 2 have cell phones and the others don’t. The baby gets new things regularly because she’s a baby and they are constantly growing. The oldest needs new clothes and shoes, he will get those things and the others won’t because they don’t NEED new clothes or shoes. Life isn’t fair and someone else will always have or get something that someone else doesn’t. Your husband needs to realize the issues he’s going to create for the 8yo later in life. She will be very entitled and always demand to get her way. I have spent 4 years breaking this cycle because that’s my MILs logic with the oldest.
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The father is only going to cause a rift between the two sisters. The elder one is going to start to become resentful and the eight year old is going to become a spoiled brat as she gets everything. This is a serious dilemma. I think you guys need a professional to help you through it.
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I don’t understand his logic, but it must make sense to him. When your daughter is 16 and gets a driver’s license will he complain because his 13 yr old can’t? When your daughter is 18 and can vote, will he be upset that his 15 yr old can’t? When your daughter is 21 and can drink will he be upset that this 18 yr old can’t? I realize these are extreme examples based on laws, but same basic logic should apply. Some things that are appropriate for older children simply are not appropriate for younger ones. It has nothing to do with bias or favoritism but it sounds as if he has a chip on his shoulder that you favor your daughter over his. Sounds like you guys need to discuss what is at the root of his anger.
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I learned during a previous engagement where we both had 1 boy from previous marriages (3yo) that I can not deal with it. I know that sounds wrong but I learned a lot about myself and what I could and could not handle. The comparing and one upping was way too much for me and I said no in the end.
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If the 8yo geys everything the 11yo does, why isnt the 4yo also getting it?
Sounds like a petty man
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Ask him if the 4 year old should have a phone too then? 
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Tell him to get the f over it, an 8 year old has absolutely no business with a phone…
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You have both got a child from other people, So my guess is that he thinks your playing favorites with your child over his. THAT SHIT WILL GO ON AND ON TIL THERE GROWN.ITS OH YOU DO FOR YOURS BUT NOT MINE.NO MATTER WHAT U DO IT WILL ALWAYS BE THAT WAY.
He is being jealous for no reason.
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Get the 8yr old a flip phone. So she can call and text her dad all day. It can be used for it’s actual intended purpose.
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My husband believes with everything his daughter from his previous relationship needs everything and our boys we have together can do without here and there. I get you. I really do. He also feels he needs to be more fully responsible (although that really means I’m more fully responsible) for his daughter than his own sons which again makes me even more responsible for all the kids.
There is a maturity difference between 8 and 11. The 11 yo did not have a phone at age 8… so the younger one needs to sit back and be 8… her time will come. Learning to wait, delay of gratification is a valuable lesson for all kids in our society now.
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I’ve been through something similar, I would say the two of you should rather not talk to or about them as yours,mine and ours, you parents must try work together and not side with Your child against one another, sit down with the kids and both parent and talk to the kids,tell them why things work the way they do, your situation is hard…I can tell you that I know,
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Mariah Marie sound familiar lol
Ask him when the oldest gets her time should you get the same hygiene stuff for the younger one to start using also
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Sounds like your husband is the one who needs to grow up a little , what would happened if your daughter did something wrong and a punishment was set for it say being grounded does that me the child who did nothing wrong gets the same punishment cause technically that’s what he is saying if one gets them so does the other so it shouldn’t just include all the good things in life , ur husbands seems to be choosing one child over another and he better sort that soon before he does irreversible damage to the relationships with all involved
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The eldest should have some privileges that other siblings, even if they are step siblings. Not all things are equal. Just a thought…next time your husband mentions his 8 year old gets something your 11 year old gets, ask him if that includes discipline…his daughter gets punishment the same as your daughter. It might make him back off and realize he’s being a bit ridiculous, although he’s a man and I doubt it.