If you are staying with him, then yes. If you are leaving him, then no… make a decision and stick to it. Set your goals with that decision being the starting point.
If this was me. Birth to me should be beautiful and happy as painful as it is. If you will be uncomfortable then no i wouldn’t because you will only birth this baby once and it shouldn’t be sad or uncomfortable and as others said. He lost his right to have his feelings considered when he cheated cause he wasn’t caring about yours.
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I’m sorry you’re going through this!! I went through the same thing when I was pregnant with my son. If you don’t want him there, then don’t let him. Cheating is the most disgusting selfish thing anyone can do. And you deserve to have someone there who loves you and will be a great support for you! If he’s there you will probably not get the support you need. He can come visit the baby afterwards if you’re comfortable with it. It should be a happy time for you! Good luck!!
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My daughter’s father and I where not together and barely spoke throughout my pregnancy. But I allowed him to be there for her birth and I will never regret it. He actually made everything better and calmed my nerves ( cs) and laugh. We put all issues aside and It wasn’t about him or myself it was about our daughter. Just remember you both made her you both should be there to bring her on this world. together or not. Forget all the hurt and pain for one day to bring your child on this world.
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What all the others are saying. You need someone who can support you on all levels. And it sounds like maybe he can’t?
What he did is absurd and sooo unfair!!!
Just a side note: again I don’t disagree with you not wanting him with you during such a beautiful moment. However, I learned a very hard lesson 18 months ago - never make a permanent decision based temporary feelings.
Not saying your feelings are or will turn into temporary feelings. Feelings of mistrust because your spouse cheated never really go away ( neither does the anger, my ex hubby cheated on me, so I know )
Maybe just let him in right before you give birth, like crowning. Then once the baby is out, tell him he can leave? Idk
Such a tough spot. I’m so sorry.
You have to be having sooo many feels about this.
Hugs to you momma. Do what’s best for you right now. Whatever that looks like!
Nope, he can see the baby during visitor hours. He has NO right to see you in all your glorious motherhood giving birth. F him
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He doesn’t deserve to watch you suffer
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I’m so sorry. Did he watched u getting delivery first and second?
If you feel like this would stress you out during labor then don’t allow him. If you can remain calm there him in. Also I’m sorry that this is happening to you.
You are the one doing all the work, and delivery is exhausting both physically and emotionally. It is a stressful enough situation without adding conflict on top of it. If you think his presence will reduce your stress, have him there. If it will worsen it, don’t. His feelings are irrelevant in the matter (as he considered yours when he cheated), as you’re the one whose emotional stress could harm your baby. You do whatever is best for your baby by doing what is best for you.
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No way. He can see the baby after delivery.
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Let me start with this first.
I am so incredibly sorry this has happened. And for him to do this to you while you are carrying his child, is the ultimate betrayal.
If you don’t want him in there I wouldn’t blame you one bit.
Maybe he could see the baby after. When you are well rested.
Also, having him in there can potentially out stress on you and the baby due to stressful emotions. Do what’s right for you. You’re the one who has to labor this baby into the world
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This just makes me sad for you! I am very sorry for your hurt, especially at a time that should be so happy!
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There is no right or wrong answer to this. We only get a glimpse of what you are experiencing. Is he remorseful? Is he wanting reconciliation? Once you are cheated on it can trigger so many emotions! One second you are angry the other second you kinda feel sorry for him. I say do what ever you feel is right. At this point you feel extremely violated and with that comes doubt that he has put in your head. Totally takes a toll on your self esteem that you don’t want him to look at you! A baby is a beautiful gift. And to me there is nothing more beautiful than a baby. Might give you both a reason to fight hard for your marriage.
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Ask yourself would you be stressed? Did he care about potentially passing STDs to you and your child? My answer would be a NO he didn’t care about your feelings.
I hate to be so blunt but I wouldn’t let him anywhere near me during that time he should have thought about his actions before he cheated now let him live with his decisions …
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It depends on your reason…you will need to be 100% focused on giving birth.Not on drama or uncomfortableness so if its TRULY because it will cause you emotional pain then I think that it is understandable.
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Have in the room but tie a rope around his neck so every time you have a contraction you can pull on it for some relief but really do what you feel comfortable with this is your time not his you have to be focused on the delivery
Be safe and take care sending love from California
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Punishment is punishment hurt him back without doing what he did to u. That’s not fair to you in anyway
He gave up that privilege when he cheated on you.
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your feelings are understandable and justified, but please don’t mix them with the his relationship with the baby. even if it had happened after the baby was born were u gonna stop him from seeing him bcz he did u wrong? when u mix ur problems with your children you are using them as to hurt each other and thats isn’t right, bcz its not the father’s right to have a child, its the child’s right to have a father, so unless ur husband or his partner was physically, sexually, or verbally abusing the child u should not keep him/her from his dad. picture it the other way around and think how you would feel not being able to see ur baby bcz of ur mistake. best if luck❤️
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His presence may cause you an unnecessary amount of stress while you’re in laborl and this can lead to complications…
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Honestly I went through this before my husband last year and I prayed and prayed and I let him in there and god used the birth of our son to bring us back together
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Just here to say I am sorry you are dealing with this
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I wouldnt allow him. Im a mom of 3 and if my husband ever had an affair ESPECIALLY while i was carrying his child. Fuck no
It’s your birth, your choice! You don’t need negative energy around you while bringing a human into this world.
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I am also due in September with baby number 3. I can tell you for certain that there in not a chance in hell that he would be in the room if he cheated. Good luck and stay strong momma! You got this!
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I’d so no… It’s stressful… The betrayal can be dealt with later but right now focus on you and baby… What happens if you don’t have him? Will you be able to support the 2 of you… If not try to set something up. I worked over nights and paid my neighbor or sister. Sometimes they just leave when your working on things and you don’t want to get caught off guard
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If there’s a chance you two will reconcile, then you should consider having him in the delivery room for your child’s sake. As rotten as he’s acted, he’s still your child’s father.
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I mean he’s still the father. Are you guys still gonna be together or not? Cause that’s also something to think about with him not being in the room
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What does his affair have to do with his parenting skills and him being able to witness the birth of his child (which is an important moment you can’t get back). An affair is awful but that’s the relationship he screwed up with you not his child. I don’t care what a man does to me I would never use our child as a pawn to get back at him unless he hurt my child.
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If u cant handle him being in the room then don’t let him. Birthing a child is stressful enough. The choice is yours n yours alone once the baby is born then he can be there to see y’all child.
And let him know how u feel n why you made the choice u chooses.
Wish you and baby a safe delivery.
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I don’t think there is a straightforward answer for this. Your hurt and have every right to be! But try to think about how you will feel about your decision in the future. If you work things out or want to, will you regret not having him there? Will he resent you and that cause more problems? If you separate will how will you feel or what may your child think of your decision later. You have to do what’s best for you but at the same time what’s best for your child and your future. I would suggest finding a way to focus on the moment together leaving the relationship on hold till after the moment if you can. If you want to get through this with him use the moment to reconnect. If you think you might not want to fix things ask a third person to join you if you can as your support person! There is no right or wrong!!
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It’s completely up to the Mother as to who she wants at the birth.
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I am disgusted by any woman who thinks the father’s right to this woman’s labor is more important than her mental wellness.
This pitiful excuse for a man didn’t take her mental or physical wellness into consideration when he had an affair. It not only affected his partner but his unborn. And then to try to convince this woman to expose herself to the very demon that disrupted her pregnancy and allow him to put negative energy into her experience during delivery- is heartbreaking!
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Been in a similar situation. He is the dad. You do want him to be a part of the child’s life and bond with the baby. Whether you stay together or not if you do you will want him to take responsibility so let him be there as it is a special day for him too. I know it’s hard but the affair has to be kept separate. Y’all are parents and that’s it. Y’all are doing it now you can do it at delivery too. My daughter went through this. She debated and I was very proud of her letting him in there. She did let the nurses know the situation. I was in there with her also. Regardless he is the father. They are together now and have worked things out and I am so glad. They are happy now. It has taken counseling and going back to church. I know not all couples are able to work things out. I’m so sorry you are going through this. I had a ex husband that was an addict and cheated. My whole pregnancy he was not there. He was there at the delivery. when I came home he was gone and I didn’t see him for 2 weeks. His pattern. Divorced his ass. We get hurt and it doesn’t make sense that they are able to get away with responsibility but they are still the father. I just felt it was the right thing to do. I did let my daughter make her own decision tho. Praying for you.
Well I had a cheater husband stay with him 23 yrs worst mistake I make should got rid of him first day we was married
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Ultimately it’s up to you as you are the mom. Birth is stressful and if his presence will bring more stress, don’t have him there. IMO he made his bed and now he needs to lay in it. But, just remember if you end up reconciling then you better be prepared to have that tossed in your face for the rest of your life, regardless if it was deserved or not.
A husband cheated, not a father.
Punish your husband accordingly not the father
This is my opinion and only mine
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He wasn’t worried about his pregnant wife, don’t be worried about him. If you think he will help during your laboring process, let him in. If you think it will make things more difficult, ask him to give you space.
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Nope, gonna have someone there I feel supported by considering with covid you can only have one support person.
He doesn’t need to be there for the birth in order to be in the child’s life. You do what’s best for YOU in this situation.
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I’d tell him he can see baby after it’s born. you need a good support system not to be thinking about him and all those problems. But that’s just me
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Yes let him there it’s not the child fault after losing my daughter dad in a car accident o would do anything to get him back the hurt my child is in no words can explain that is between you and him because if later on life you decide to get back together that child didnt have his /her father there for the birth . But all that aside for one day for your baby. Its not fair to the child. You both will always be connected somehow with the kids. Atleast you will feel better down the line that you were the bigger person and put your child first but if he csnt respect you while being in there than tell him he will have to leave tell him he is there to be there for the birth of both your child hope you figure out what you want to do
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You are pushing a watermelon out a key hole, forget what he wants. You are doing all the hard work, you are allowed to birth in whatever environment you choose. Youre allowed to be selfish
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Let someone video chat him🤷♀️ he wont stress you out and he cant miss the birth no reason to stress yourself over some bitxh who couldn’t bother thinking of you when he was sticking his dick where it didnt belong
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First of all, not wanting him in the room while you give birth isn’t “using the child against him to hurt him”. As a woman if some of you can’t understand that then I can’t do anything to explain it. And yes, he HAS hurt his children by cheating on their Mother. Anyone who doesn’t understand that either is out of touch with what is truly right. If he truly cared about his kids, and witnessing their birth, then he would put their mother first. That means if he wants things to end then he at least respects her enough to end things first BEFORE finding another woman. If you don’t want him there then don’t have him there. You’re the one that has carried this child and will give birth to this child, and more than likely be the majority if not sole caregiver for ALL your kids if he leaves you guys. Women need to learn to take care of themselves first when men do crap like this, because they sure as heck are taking care of themselves. You do what YOU feel is best for YOU, and not give a hoot what any stranger online thinks about it or what any other person in your life thinks. You’re not wrong for not wanting him there as a spectator during such an intimate and private process that he clearly has no respect for.
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It’s still your body, he violated your trust while your carrying his child. Do what makes you feel comfortable. Obviously, you weren’t a priority for him.
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Don’t think of it like doing him a favour and having him there for the birth. You’re doing it for your child and the bonding experience between your newborn and their parents.
I’m sorry he did that to you 
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I found out too, he continued on but he was still there during the birthing process. Hmm whatever you’re comfortable with. It was a very emotional time for me and i was trying to be logical and fair.
Giving birth is hard. You really don’t need added stress. Your body, your choice. I’m sorry that you have to make such horrible decisions about this precious time.
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It’s it entirely up to you, you need to be comfortable and as relaxed as possible during your birth and if him being there is going to cause you any stress or upset I wouldn’t have him there. Yes he’s the father, but a woman’s mental state is important during birth for a good a delivery as possible. And that’s what’s important. He should’ve thought about all of this before he betrayed his wife. I’d tell him that you’re putting your emotional wellbeing first and you would prefer he wasn’t there during the delivery but he’s welcome to see baby as soon as they’re born.
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When I was 7 months pregnant with our third child I left my ex because of that bs… but I let him be with me in the delivery room for him and the baby so they could have that special moment.
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If YOU feel he should be there then he should be there. Doesn’t matter what any of these ppl say.
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This is a tough place for you to be in! Your labor and birth depend on your health and mental strength, as do your risks of a C-section. Baby feels what you feel and the stress of having him there too soon after finding out about his affair can affect you and your baby’s BP, heart rate. It affects your ability to stay strong, focused, and have the beautiful birthing experience that you deserve!
Has he been there for you throughout your pregnancy…made it to your appointments, helped you lift things/gone to get what you need/given you massages/helped you out around the house/been there for your other children? If he’s been there 110%, then he’s shown effort even with having an affair and making really bad choices and might be worthy of still being there. If he has not, then you’ve been preparing alone for a while now, taking care of yourself already, and you should not feel bad at all doing your thing in the delivery room without him there! If he wants to make the effort and show you that he’s sorry and wants to be there for you and your baby, trust me, you will see that!! If not, then stay focused on you and your baby’s health and have a wonderful experience without him!! Congratulations and good luck to you and your baby!! 
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this is totally up to you your choice no one else’s go with what you really want 
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While giving birth you have to be the most comfortable & happy ass possible surround yourself with good vibes don’t have him in there , he should’ve thought twice before having that affair
I can’t actually believe I’m reading some peoples comments that are like “you can’t use his child against him”… “he did wrong but that’s his child” ARE YOU JOKING!
For a man to CHEAT on his partner ! whilst she’s carry his on flesh and blood , creating a human being, going through everything she is going through to give this a man child ! And he betrays her at a time he is suppose to love her , support her the most … if that man thinks his coming into my labour room he can think again !
Actions have consequences!
I hope who ever this happen to stays strong and blessed❤️
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He does NOT need to be there. You need supportive people to be there for you.him CHEATING on his pregnant wife is not supportive.
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Maybe have him outside the room, so you don’t have to worry about him being there then once baby is born he can come in? You need someone with you that can support you and that you feel totally at ease and relaxed with, not someone that’s going to make you feel upset and sad x
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There is no way I would have someone in the room who broke my heart at 7 months pregnant, who caused massive amounts of stress whilst pregnant putting both me and the baby at risk. Where was his fucks then for us?? Absolutely not do you then come and see my body go through the stress and pain of childbirth having him there would make that worse. I agree he should be at the hospital maybe right outside so he can come in straight away either just as he/she is being born or just after but no way would I want to be looking at him alll the way through you could be in labour for hours! Do what is right for you and don’t let anyone else make you feel shit about that!! Xx
What does your husband sticking his penis in an other vagina have to do with his relationship with HIS child and HIS right to be at the birth of HIS child?!? Stop punishing or trying to hurt him with his child. That’s petty and childish. If your that hurt and can’t forgive him get a divorce, get custody and child support figured out and move on.
I personally wouldn’t want him in there either. Not eazy on your own ( i know) but its all part of the break away. I was the only one out of 4 siblings that did not have my dad in tbe room, and it dont effect me at all. He is the one that had the affair, he did not think about your feelings. Hope all goes well, you can do this xx
Kinda of the same my ex left me for someone else 8 months pregnant I hated him when I gave birth to my girl his first child I still didn’t want him there tbh so lucky I had her in the ambulance on the way to the hospital an his face wasn’t there then he turned up he rubbed my arm an cried so I sent him out I was fuming still tried to be nice as his baby an that an for the sake of my girl but I coudlnt do it my emotions where everywer midwife said it’s best if he waits outisde or something didn’t need the stress now she’s 7 an he chose to walk away fro good when she was 1 not seen him since still hate him to that will never change
Co parenting doesn’t mean you need to put yourself at risk with extra stress at that time. If you are asking it would mean you would have added stress.
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He doesn’t need to be in the room he can just come after the baby is born
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He lost that right when he betrayed you.
And its easy to say fuxk him .
Are you doing it for you
Are you doing it for him
Are you doing it for Bubba.
I would find an amazing support person to be in the labor room with you , txt him a photo when born , he can meet his Bubba the next day
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Is he going to stop seeing that other person once the baby is born, or is he going to continue to cause you stress along with caring for a new baby all hours of the night and help you if post partum depression comes into the picture. I am not very forgiving when it comes to men thinking they deserve all the “Stuff” they can get no matter who it hurts.
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I chose my mom to be with me when my 2nd child was born…was he thinking of you and the baby when he was cheating on you??? I highly doubt it. Ultimately it’s your decision but no he does not not have a “right” to be in that delivery room.
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Soon as you give birth and get well have one yourself don’t be a fool sweetie u do u boo
I wouldnt not allow him out of spit, but I just wouldn’t feel comfortable with him witnessing such an intimate moment. If you dont feel comfortable with him being there, then don’t force it. He did the damage, not you.
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If y’all are working through it let him see his child during Birth don’t make it more complicated than it has to be. After the birth the decision is yours to ask him to stay or go. But don’t feel bad if you don’t want him there
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Let him be in there.you can always have him put out.
ABSOLUTELY NO WAY IN HELL would I ever let that happen after cheating while I’m carrying his child…but again the decision is truly yours to make…good luck
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You do what makes you most comfortable. Do not worry about his feelings any more than he worried about yours. Truth.
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Forgive him and forget about what he has done. The person you should be fighting is the devil who is trying to destroy your home. Pray for your husband and stand the gap for your family in prayers.
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There is absolutely no way I would let him in there… it’s more for the reason the “wound” is still fresh. He hurt you, your stressed and uncomfortable. Your body is going to be under alot of stress anyway while giving birth. The more relaxed you are the easier the birth. I honestly think it would be putting to much onto yourself. You need someone you trust and that is supportive while giving birth… the choice is yours in the end. I hope you have a nice easy delivery.
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My heart breaks for you going through this right now, I wish I had advice for you and we all have our own opinion. You’re the only one that can make the decision. And regardless of what you choose it will be the right one
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It’s best to do what makes YOU feel confortable. Stress at time of delivery can impact the baby so do what’s best for you an baby at that time. He can always see baby later and he kind of lost the privilege being an ass hole
He deserves to be there BUT it’s your birth if him being there is gonna put stress on you and baby then fuck him.
I’m not on his side but, that’s a once in a lifetime thing ( for the birth of this child), let him come into the room while you give birth, let him hold the baby and then kindly ask him to get the fuck out so he doesn’t disturb your peaceful relaxation with your baby. After he’s gone, have a support person come (friend, mother, sister) so you won’t feel lonely and give into letting him stay. Maybe he’ll think about how he betrayed his family.
Your labor and birth is about you and makes YOU most comfortable and relaxed. If you don’t feel like being vulnerable in front of him like that after what he did… that’s HIS own fault. He did it to himself. Make yourself feel comfortable and relaxed for the sake of your baby. What he wants is not your problem. You and your baby are all that matters
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Birth should be a stress free environment. If you feel too stressed having him in there then don’t. He can always see the baby after the birth and be waiting in the waiting room until the baby arrives.
Man it’s a tough one but I wish you all the best
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Do what you want you are having the dear baby i know i would be so stress whatever you decide but my thoughs and feelings go with you xo
He didn’t think about what would make you comfortable when he cheated on you. I wouldn’t think about what makes him comfortable when delivering an entire human into the world. You decide what’s right for you. Stop thinking about him and think about yourself.
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Giving birth is a special experience. It is easier when you feel safe and comfortable. If you can feel that way when he is there, then yes. You are the most important person in that room, love yourself enough to do what is best for you- whatever that may be. He gave up the “right” to be there. Be true to yourself and whatever works for you. Best wishes!!!
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I understand it is a horrible thing for you to go through, but give you praise for thinking about the child first. You don’t have to look at him or talk to him but thinking of the child first makes you an amazing mom.
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I wouldn’t let him in the room. Up until the baby is out of you the only people that should be by your side are those there to support you through labor. And he obviously is not a great support or partner.
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This is horrible for you, and I’m very sorry for you. As for him being in the room, I’d say no, n are you sure the affair is done??? I’d own his ass if you decide to let him I’d have some huge stipulations
Remember at this time with everything going on he will be stuck with you for them days your in hospital, if you have a c-section he will be ther longer with you… something to think about sweetie, and is he going to be ther for your child after delivery
With Covid you’d literally be stuck in the room with him until your release. Maybe have someone supportive like your mother or friend. But I don’t think you should be alone.
You can have someone FaceTime him or something if it’s that important to him. My personal opinion.
Way back in old days (60s)most father’s didn’t go in delivery room. If it makes you uncomfortable for him to be there, tell him you don’t want him there. This is your job. You can handle this without him.
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Do what is right for YOU! If you don’t want him there; don’t have him there. He broke the trust and loyalty of being your spouse. You don’t owe him anything. So, do what would help you have a less stress delivery. Its about you and the baby! You got this.
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Clearly he didn’t think about possible consequences when he cheated. He doesn’t have a right to be in ther delivery room. You are the patient and you choose your support person. It’s not about him.
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It will make his bond stronger to see the birth and bond from beginning so I think if it doesn’t hurt you then let him but if it really hurts you then do what you want
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I’ve been in your shoes and if I could do it over I wouldn’t of had anyone in the room. It was not only physically uncomfortable but mentally as well. It was not a happy time, that’s for sure.
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It’s uncomfortable I’m sure but you’re right he’s the father let him be there. See the birth cut the cord sign the birth certificate and be done with him. Get that child support!!! Because he’s done you wrong on so many levels. I pray you make the best decision for you and the kids. Good luck
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My first husband got another girl pregnant, while I was pregnant. He was in the delivery room, while our son was born. But, do what you feel is comfortable for you! You need to put yourself as a priority, his behavior, says it all. He is very self centered, and you need to make a life, for you and your children. By the way, life does get better, in the long run!
If he’s going to be bringing you stress and emotional pain in the delivery room then no. That would be dangerous for you and baby.
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Let your heart tell you what to do. Be open and honest. See how things go between now and then. I really tried to be with my ex. But Drugs and Alchol was more important then his family. Hopefully you are not in the same boat. Good Luck, find someone you can trust.
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Nope nope nope been there and gone through that. Choose someone who deserves to be in there and actually cares about you. I picked my grandma and my mom because I didn’t want to ruin that day thinking about how much he hurt me. It’s your day and it is precious so worry about yourself and your child.
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