Whatever makes u comfortable , think about you and only you he lost all the privileges when he stepped out on you
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Bless you hun
You do what you want no matter if others say no
This is your call your rules and if you want him there then Let him be there
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You should come first! I was in the exact same situation 20 years ago and I didn’t let him in the delivery room and it was the best thing for me. You should be able to focus on bringing your child into the world not worrying about him
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This is a hard decision. On the one hand he is the father of the child and like your other two he should be in the room. On the other hand. He betrayed the unity between you two that created that child. Should he be allowed to share this intimate moment when he is being intimate with someone else? Is he demanding that he gets to? Is he acting remorseful at all? You definitely have alot to think about. I am sorry you have been put through this.
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Same thing happened to me when I had my son 20 years ago. I let him come but he left to go get breakfast. In the time he was gone I went from 2 dilated to 10 and gave birth while he was gone. When we came back into room he didn’t believe me at first. I think it was God’s plan it happened that way.
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I never been in that position. My advice is to do what your heart tells you to do. Praying for you
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Don’t have him there it’s about you and the baby. He did not think of you two when he slept with another woman. It’s not like the baby is going remember it at all .
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As someone who personally knows 2 fathers that were denied being at their child’s births, I know how terrible that makes them feel. Even years later. Please don’t do that to him. Yes cheating is a shitty thing to do, so dump him. But don’t deny him seeing his child be born.
Do you have a friend who you would feel comfortable to be by your side?
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It’s obvious his concern wasn’t/isn’t about you…your pregnancy. An affair is devastating and hurts like hell.
Why would you even consider of him being there when you give birth?
I had the same thing happen to me. I found him in bed with his secretary… In those days, fathers were not allowed in the dellivery room. But, it was a terrible thing to go through. My main problem was financial, so we stayed together unhappy as it was. I will be praying for you over this.
I’d probably let him be in there,.but as rachel on friends would say… stay near my head!
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If you want to be with him be with him if not then dont once a Cheater always a cheater i left mine in a day
I’d be comfortable! Screw him ! His loss he messed up. He’d be lucky if you still let him see you period .
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The birth of your baby needs to be a good memory, don’t talk of things you can do nothing about at that point. Wait, the time will be right. Prayers for you.
Labor with other support. Let him in to watch the delivery and out he goes again until you are clean and comfortable and ready for him to see his child. He can sign and be out again.
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Honestly the additional hurt and stress it would cause you to have him there would not be good for you or the baby. Better to have a support person who makes you feel loved and safe. The delivery process is stressful enough. It’s not like you will be blocking him from the child’s life altogether. In that moment though it is important to not add additional stress if possible.
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I was in the same situation. I let him in and I regret it. He was a complete ass, the nurses hated him for his behavior, and that’s honestly what I remember most, the hurt and tears shed over him. Don’t marr the beauty of your baby being born. He made his decision.
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It’s about you and what you want, I regretted having my (ex)husband there. Giving birth to my son ended up being the best and worst day of my life and I will NEVER forgive him for it. Granted my situation was a little different, it still boils down to the same thing. I would have rather had someone be there for ME instead of for themselves or the principle. If you want his support then do it but don’t make that choice because you feel like it’s his right. He will still get to see the baby, but he didn’t care enough in my opinion to even wait to be unfaithful until after the baby was even born.
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My ex texted his ex when I was in active labor saying he wanted to be with her.
As much as it hurt I wouldn’t change him being there.
It’s about the bond with the parents. If he makes you feel unsafe then that’s different. But it shouldn’t effect the relationship between children . I pray that you have a safe and healthy labor 
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Honey, it’s all about what YOU are comfortable with. I understand what you’re coming from. YOU are the one giving birth to this baby. Maybe you two could see a marriage counselor, or you could see a counselor by yourself, to go over your feelings and hopefully make a decision that you feel good about. Just remember, he made his choices, knowing that it would end up hurting you.
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My situation was not exactly like yours but I did allow mine to be in the room.
He did wonderful helping and even helped with me and our oldest. He proved to me he wanted to be there not just show up (if you get what I mean).
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As long as he isn’t being disrespectful or causing problems and stress then I would say yes he should be in the room! If I were a father I would want to see my child come into the world… no it’s not ok with what he did at all but that is still his child and as long as he respects you in the delivery room I don’t see a problem with it! Ultimately it is up to you though good luck momma I’m sure this isn’t easy for you🖤
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I can’t even imagine. I would let him in the room - Still his baby. Don’t make any decisions right now. There’s a lot going on. Was he sorry? If you desire reconciliation, seek counseling for you both individually and together.
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Nope. Decisions have consequences. He went outside of your marriage so you owe him nothing until the child is born. Once baby is born you can make visitation arrangements but up until then you need to be comfortable during delivery. If you decide that he would make you most comfortable then by all means! But he’s not entitled to shit.
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Nope, have someone there that will support you mentally and physically. He made that choice of what he thought was more important… let him deal with the consequence. Look out for yourself!
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Your giving birth. It’s YOUR moment and it should be beautiful peaceful and all love. He didn’t care about your feelings at all while he’s cheating, especially while ur pregnant with his baby. Why should u care for his feelings and if he’s there if he don’t care that your growing his child. Idk in my opinion I think this should just be a moment for you and your baby. Let him visit. Enjoy your birth experience it will be special for you.
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Personal opinion: his feelings don’t matter in that moment. You are bringing a new life into the world and that new life should come into a peaceful and loving atmosphere. If having him in there brings even the slightest negative feeling in the room then leave him out. Your precious baby is the most important life to be thinking about in that moment. Which ever choice would give your baby the most peaceful birthing experience is the choice that you should make. You’re the momma, you know what your baby needs best 
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Dad needs to be apart hands down. It is his child too.
Take your emotions out of it and deal with it after the baby is born.
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I commented, but it got Karened. He should be there unless his presence endangers you or your child. Just my opinion. I’ve been through it and it sucks, but if you keep your kids first, they will get through it. Does he deserve such a perfect moment? Probably not. I dont know your story. But to be the bigger person and show love and respect for their father even when all you have is disgust at that moment…will make all the difference for them. In the end, you have to make a tough decision. Maybe he will pass out and you will get the best of both worlds🤷♀️
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What a pig, I’m so sorry you’re going through this mumma! He didn’t think about your or your babies whilst going behind your back and he clearly doesn’t respect you or your children. I wouldn’t have him in there. It’s your birth!! 
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I gave birth 2 weeks ago so all the emotions and trauma is still very fresh for me. Absolutely no way would I go through the trauma of childbirth with someone in the room that I couldn’t trust or no longer felt comfortable with.
Its not about who has rights to what. It’s about delivering that baby safely and if you’re nervous/uncomfortable/on edge or whatever then your baby feels that. Nothing would make me risk my baby and if he cares enough he should respect your decision and allow someone else in the room who makes you feel safe, secure and comfortable.
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In MY opinion… no. You are the one carrying that baby and going through all the emotions of your husband cheating on top of all the emotional pregnancy hormones. I think you should tell him that he can come into the room after but not during the birthing process. I would personally feel so violated for my husband being with another person while being with me. I wouldn’t want him anywhere near me while I was undressed… husband or not. I believe it is a privilege for the father to be in the birthing room… not a right.
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Did he think about your growing baby when he was having the affair? Did he think about the mother of his growing baby and how hurt she would be if she found out he was having an affair (in turn hurting the baby because everything momma feels, the baby feels - physically). There’s your answer love. I hope everything works out well for you and your family.
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Naaa. He lost that privilege when he decided to not just betray you but that baby, and your other babies! You reap what you sow
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Me personally wouldn’t let him but I would allow him 2 see bubs once he/she is born
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You are the one giving birth, it might put you under more stress having him in there when you don’t want him. Being the father does come before your comfort. Its not about him its about you and the baby. He can go fuck himself 
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You’re the one giving birth. You don’t need to let him in the room. You need to do whatever you need to feel comfortable and relaxed. Definitely have him at the hospital. Let him accompany baby to their first bath. He doesn’t need to be in the room with you with your feet in stirrups if it’s going to make you uncomfortable. Have your mother/sister/friend/doula…whoever will make you comfortable.
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He made his bed…let him lay in it. He clearly wasn’t thinking of you or his unborn child during his affair. I don’t think he deserves to be there.
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Labor and delivery is about you and baby only, not him. Do what will make you less stressed and not regret into the future. My ex had an affair too, but not while I was expecting child so I can’t imagine that extra hurt and betrayal. Focus on you and baby and if needed, go talk to someone to sort through your emotions and hormones. If I was in your shoes, I wouldn’t allow him to see child until afterwards. Maybe reach out to attorney to see if any particular laws to worry about. No knowledge there. So much disrespect he deserves to own up to his co sequences. I’d ask my mom or closet friend to be my birthing partners and make the most out of it and focus on you, baby, and other children. Best of luck with it all
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I’d blame hospital rules due to COVID 
Your nurses and doctor will back you up 100% if he asks them, because you and the baby are important, not him. If he wants to have an affair, he gets to miss out on the birth and knows why.
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Same happened with me, my now ex husband cheated throughout my first pregnancy, he lost the chance to see his daughter born. I didn’t need the extra stress/ anxiety. Silly me took him back when baby was 4 months old. He didn’t change. I finally got rid when she was 4. Wish I’d done it sooner. Too many chances given, too many years wasted. She’s 20 now! And he still hasn’t changed.
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I can’t imagine your heartbreak. If it was me, I’d rather have someone to support me while giving birth so my mom. He betrayed you all while you’re pregnant with his baby… he can see baby after.
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Dads weren’t in the room back then. He doesn’t HAVE to be. He can come in afterwards to bond. It’s about you and what makes you comfortable. You don’t need any negativity.
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You need to do what you feel comfortable with and what you want. He kinda threw away his “right” to anything that involves you when he had an affair. Don’t let anyone guilt you or push you into anything you don’t want. He didn’t just cheat on a spouse. He cheated on his whole family and decided that cheating with someone was worth the risk of losing you, his traditional position in the family and his kids to a certain extent… he doesn’t have those same privileges and rights any more in my opinion… wish you the best and I’m so sorry for this crappy situation…
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Nope… Baby won’t remember who was there… Birth is hard… And you need all the joy. He can visit after you feed the baby for the first time
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Unpopular opinion here… As much as you might hate him, you both made that child out of love. I feel like he should have a chance to be there. I do understand that it may be stressful though. I can’t say exactly what I would do in your situation, As I haven’t been there myself, but i think I’d have a lot of guilt if I robbed another parent of such an important day.
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Only you can decide.
I would personally be under too much stress if he was in the room in your situation!
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In my opinion he forfeited the right to be in there when you deliver your baby. I wouldnt let him in but that’s just me. He doesnt deserve to be in there.
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No sorry i personally wouldn’t ! As long as he is part of the babys life after then great … id feel uncomfortable him been there
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Nope, your body is pushing a baby out. Your labor could stall or complications could happen if your not comfortable with someone there. He can wait till later. He decided to step out with someone else than he’s lost his rights for getting what he wants since he obviously was considering you.
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I agree with this. I just went through the same thing. My husband had been cheating for nearly two years. I ended up deciding that was too much stress. I gave birth too our beautiful baby a week ago and it was so much better on me
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You’re in a tough place momma.
I asked my husband’s input - we both think he screwed his rights to be there when he disrespected you🤷🏻♀️
You deserve more than that❤️
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He can watch her in nirsety while getting cleaned and visit when comes back to room. But i wouldnt let jim even see my vagina again. That isnt unincluding him… Just having boundaries
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Just saying I gave birth for the fourth time three weeks ago. Twice with my husband, who I love more than I can describe. Twice with an ex. The second time my ex abandoned my kid and I in the room. He felt all fatherly despite months of problems and showed up. Night two, my mom had to come and stay because he was gone. I look back at that time and I wish he’d never been there. This is about you. It’s not about him. Birth is extremely taxing on mom both physically and emotionally, and when it’s done, you’re needed 24/7 (and you have other kids too!! You’re going to be tired).
I’d kick him to the curb for the delivery room.
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Nope- no obligation to let him in the delivery room. Baby should be surrounded by love and positive feelings. He made his choice.
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I wouldn’t have him there 🤷 for me it’s a very private moment and I wouldn’t want him there after betraying me like that, specially while I’m pregnant.
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In all honesty you need to do what’s you think is best your the one having it but if I personally was in your situation I wouldn’t let him in because you need the support mentally and physically and if he truly loved you and cared bout you he wouldn’t of done what he did he needs to face the consequences now don’t let him take advantage of u or walk all over you. Your kids should always come first
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Screw him. Hes not a father unless he acts like one and part of that is being a faithful partner and setting a good example to his kids.
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If you were carring his baby for 9mths n he is cheating he dont deserve your love nyour baby this is your number3 he will keep cheating on you stand up for yourself do it for your kids
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I had the same issue. And the dog he slept with was but ugly and trying to say my baby wasn’t his. I never cheated…I thought stuff him and gave birth without him. Didnt even tell him I was in labour. Didnt deserve to be there as far as I was concerned. She doesn’t have his name either. It’s your choice but I’d be punishing him
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He may suck as a husband but is he a good dad? If so, don’t use the kid as punishment.
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In my opinion, no I wouldn’t let him. I also have had eclampsia in both of my pregnancies , and was not allowed to be stressed AT ALL, or I may have literally died in childbirth. No triggers allowed. I’m not willing to risk my baby’s nor my life over some useless sperm shooter. No thanks!
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Don’t do it I been there it’s your child that’s going to suffer trust me he’s not worth your time of day leave him and if he loves you then he will change.
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NOPE. He can wait until your baby is born, then see the child. He has stressed you and hurt you enough.
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Regardless of what he did and how you feel about it, you will be co-parenting this child, I hope, and you will have to set aside all that pain and anger for the baby’s welfare. I guess this is as good a time as any. But remember if you are uncomfortable for any reason you have the right to ask him to leave. I’m sorry you are in this position.
I’m kinda in the same situation. I am due in october. My boyfriend didnt cheat just decided he was done and too “stressed out” to stay. 
I keep going back and forth about if he will be there for delivery. He says he wants to. But part of me doesnt want that, doesnt trust him not to walk out when I could really use support and comfort. Another part of me knows if I dont let him be there he wont be able to see the child until we are discharged with the way everything is going. I hope you find the answer your looking for but ultimately only you will know what’s best for you.
I’m big about fallow your gut. What do you want? He lost his options. Delivering a baby is hard and you need what’s best for you and baby. I’m sorry your going through this mess. I hope you have a tribe of friends/family to talk to. I’m sure if ya need anything and asked, a bunch of us ladies would help us out. Hugs 
it’s best if you can work it out by letting know exactly how you feel , that’s if your still together , he needs to know how much you hurt because of his weakness , trust is difficult thing to work out 
He didn’t consider your feelings and not have an affair, I wouldnt consider his by allowing him there. If it causes you stress to have him there it will cause the baby stress.
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You have to focus on YOU and your BABY he can wait until you’ve welcomed YOUR baby and see him/her right after. When u can turn ur back to him:roll_eyes:
Men are so frikin selfish and inconsiderate of the woman carrying their child its so sad. My daughter’s dad was out drinking when I was in labor. He didn’t even TRY to make the delivery. I birthed my babies on my own stretch and protection and the comfort of my mom and sister who LOVE ME UNCONDITIONALLY and I wouldn’t change it for the world. If he were there I’d been upset and focused on his responses or reactions instead of my own. …
Please try Peace of mind. You don’t need him to help you push. Hes done enough
What does he want?
When I had my child, he was cheating and at delivery felt ‘forced’ (his words) because my family was there so he had to be too. He didn’t want to be with me in the OR either but changed his mind when I said my Mom will then.
He stayed the first night with us but constantly complained about everything. 2 days later, stopped in for 12 minutes then made some lame excuse to leave. Then I didn’t see him another 2 days later when he thought we were coming home and super pissed the Dr. Wanted to keep our baby 1 more night. He ended up staying the night, angry at everything. He walked out on us after calling me down about having seen my guts during the c-section (but yet he’s a hunter) and told me he will never be with me again because I “am f@#%king disgusting” and he can do better.
It was more painful and stressful having him there then not having him there at all.
So, ask your husband for an honest answer and accept it fir the truth.
God bless and hugs
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Are you still together? Are you going to try and fix or marriage? If so I’d say let him in, as you could possibly regret it if you two stay together. Your emotional state is to much right now to make major decisions. Remember if during labor you change your mind at anytime you can always ask the nurse to have him leave. You may not have a chance to change your mind the other way.
Your comfort is the number one priority in the delivery room. If your unsure of how you want to approach it, consider telling him to be at the hospital but to wait in the waiting room. This way, if you decide mid push that you want him there, he’s already in the building.
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Labor is all about you. Do whatever is most comfortable for you; however, delivery is something special for both parents. He can wait in the waiting room until you’re ready to deliver & be part of that moment.
You are the one actually having the baby and I would want someone there who I would feel is supportive of me while I’m in labor and all that. Someone who cheats on you does not care about you. Don’t let anyone tell you that because he’s the father he should be in the delivery room, you need to be comfortable and supported through the process. He can see the baby after.
No way. Mom shouldn’t have to deal with having to be so vulnerable in front of someone who betrayed her. There will be plenty of opportunity to be a part of the child’s life. Unfortunately this is not one of them and in fact is a real slap in the face to the woman who carried the child for 9 months while he fooled around.
Let him in there and break every single bone in his hands then head butt him in between/during contractions.
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I went through the exact same thing when i had my third. I did allow him to be there when our son was born but i made him fully aware that it didn’t mean we were ok.
If you feel he’ll be supportive, then have him there.
I would think in that moment its about you and your support systems.
My ex cheated on me a week before my son was born and there was no question about it I still let him in the room because he done me wrong not my son (I was 19 at the time) I dont think you should be able to take that way from just because he hurt you, yes your the one in labour yes its your body yes it’s you baby but it is his baby as well and with out him you would not have that baby and he may be a carp husband dose not mean he will be a crap dad. You have time think about it but just remember if you was him and done wrong to him and he cut you out would you like it? Dont hurt him by using his child
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I allowed mine in there just so he could see who he was hurting.
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If you feel he will stress you out whilst in labour dont have him there. It can stall the labour and cause issues.
If you feel he wont cause stress then allow him in.
End of the day you need to focus on you and the baby you are about to bring into the world, not an idiot who went and had an affair. Midwives will need to focus on you also. Xx
I would let him bc that’s his child and plus it’ll come up in the future why he wasn’t there…
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Its YOUR birth. If he is not going to be a supportive energy for you, fuck him. He made his choices
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You will either live to regret him being there or live to regret him not being there. Do you have another support person that can be there for you like your momor aunt? If not and he’s all you have then he may still be some help. Can you do this alone? It’s ok if the answer if no. Everyone’s situation is different. Good luck.
You should be at peace during delivery time. It is all about you and that baby. It is fully your decision only.
Your birth your rules the furor and nurses have to listen to YOU
You need to be 100% comfortable at peace of mind and stress free if having him wait in the waiting room is the answer to all that then do it
A STRESSFUL MOM IN LABOUR CAN AND WILL MAKE IT HARDER ON THE BABY period
He didn’t think about your feelings and honestly his shouldn’t even be considered on the topic
My first question is are you still together, living in the same house sharing the same bed? Is he still cheating? What is the relationship now?
You don’t have to be with anymore but he has a right to be in the room when his child is being born.
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Absolutely not he lost that right… unless you want him there
Was your father in the delivery room when you were born
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If your planning to stay in a relationship with him ,then he should be there but if you plan on leaving him…no.
Its about u and that baby leave his butt at home honey
What does it do for the baby to have him in there? Nothing. sorry not sorry.
Definitely lost his rights to your privacy. After the birth he can see the baby.
I wouldn’t let him lol … he can see the child later
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I feel like he made his choice when he cheated.
I answered this a little while ago. Hope you get it.
If you don’t want him there, I don’t think he should be there. This is about you.