- U need to leave him
- No do not allow him to be in the room as that is added stress and not good enough for u nor the baby. That day is for u and ur baby. U can choose who is in the room.
It’s a true testament to you as a parent and a women to look beyond your hurt and anger to do what’s right. No matter how it pans out, you wont have to explain to your child why daddy wasn’t there. Love and prayers to you. Keep your head up and keep doing what’s right for your children. 
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I. Wouldnt. Want. Him. Period
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I wouldn’t let him. You need to worry about you especially during labour. You need to be in the right head space. He doesn’t matter. The last thing you should worry about is him!.
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Are you planning on working on your marriage or are you calling it quits? If you intend on staying now, or even for a short period of time between now and then, I think you should definitely consider this choice carefully. IF you dont allow him to be there, you may end up in a situation where he will always resent you for it, and fight you on everything just for revenge. If you plan on ending your marriage now, then I guess it’s completely up to you. I don’t know that I would have it in me to not be angry and bitter and allow him in the room after that. If you’re having trouble deciding, wait a month or two and see where you two are coparenting/relationship wise closer to delivery. If he cares about this child and the other 2, and being there, you should definitely see that manifest somewhere within the next two months. If he doesn’t, then you know where you stand and can make this decision on your own guilt free. I see your dilemma, but ultimately it’s your decision. I’m assuming this news must be pretty fresh. If so, my advice is wait and see where you’re at in a few months. You dont need to make this decision now. If you dont care either way, discuss it with him as an option, but stress that ultimately it’s your decision and yours alone. Give him the chance to fight for a chance to be in there. If it’s important to him, find out. You won’t know unless you discuss it. I also think if he wants to be in there, you need to explain to him your feelings both ways. He needs to hear you out, whether messy or not. I think if he has taken responsibility for his actions and has apologized, etc, that shows a willingness that shouldn’t be punished. However, if he refuses to admit any culpability and places blame everywhere but where it should be, then you shouldn’t feel bad for saying no. There’s a lot more to this than yes or no. I think you should consider long term reprecussions first, not so much short term right now. In 10 years, are you still going to feel this exact way you do now? Probably not.
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Birthing is about you and the support and strength you need to deliver your baby safely for the both of you. You have to think about yourself and the baby.
Having the father in the room has only been the “norm” for a few decades. He won’t suffer any loss to sit in the waiting room. Sorry not sorry but he gave up any claim to be in the room during a vulnerable moment for you. It’s about what makes YOU comfortable during this time.
He should have thought about all the things he was going to end up missing in his children’s lives when he decided to cheat.
Sure you’re trying to be the bigger person here, but he certainly wasn’t thinking about what was fair to you while he was sleeping with someone else. You don’t owe him anything.
So, ultimately do not feel like you should HAVE to let him in the room, but if you want to, I say make sure he understands that he’s been given a courtesy that he didn’t extend to you. It’s not his RIGHT to be there. Anyone invited into a delivery room outside of the medical professionals are GUESTS, and that invitation can be revoked at any time.
The people who are around you during birth should be people who build you up not tear you down.
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That’s a very dificult situation
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That birth is yours, not his. Do it how you want it done.
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I am so sorry, hun. Please do what you feel comfortable with. This birth is about YOU and the baby. If you think it’s going to make you miserable/uncomfortable for him to be there, do not let him in the room!
Only you can decide, I personally feel he lost all right when he had the affair. Bastard.
If you’re only allowed one support person with you during this time…choose someone who will be there for you.
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If it’s gonna stress you out having him there then don’t. You need to focus and you and the precious baby getting here safely and healthy
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I’d record it and he can see it that way. Fuck that dude. He should have thought about the consequences before he took his dick out. 💁
It’s up to you , he should have keep he’s business in he’s pants, it’s not he’s choice, to go in it’s yours, say No, he wants to screws around well just let him go, you have more important things to worry about you new baby, he’ll just keep it up, don’t trust a man again ASSHOLE …
It’s both of your child you should.let him in unless you’re planning on stripping all his rights as a parent. Because plainly not letting him be there that’s what you’re attempting to start
This is a tough decision. The adult and mature thing would probably be to let him be there for the birth of his child. However, if him present is going to be stressful and toxic to you then he shouldn’t be there. Also, I would probably be spiteful and tell him can live with the poor decision he made. 
If you are splitting up with him then no…? But staying with him then i would let him.
Why are you punishing an innocent baby. Grow tf up. Its not about you two
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You need to pray and give it to god, then don’t think about it anymore when you are ready god will guide you through it, you must belive. I’m praying for you and your family.
I understand you want him to be able to have that experience but what matters in that delivery room is that you are calm and stress free. If him being in the delivery room is going to stress you out and give you anxiety, tell him no.
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Wot a horrible basterd, cheating on you whilst your pregnant, id make he fuck out you deserves so much better and more, hes got zero respect for you, as hard as its gunna be, you are better off on your own my queen, you got your kids thats all you need, Gudluck X
It’s your comfort that matters during labor not his.
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You need to do what is best for you as your body will have so much going on already mama. You dont need the extra unnecessary stress as you and bubba are most important. Do what feels right for you beautiful mama. Praying for a healthy delivery for you come time for baby to arrive.
I had my DD two decades ago. My husband opted out of our marriage two days before Christmas. There was no way in hell he was going to be in the room. I don’t know what he was thinking by sending a pager number to me two weeks before she was due. It’s not surprising that he left before her first birthday and didn’t return except to cause problems.
Find someone you trust. Get a divorce and carry on without the fool!
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My husband just died. Let him in the room
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You need to be as comfortable as possible. Only you can answer this question. Good luck.
Close your eyes momma… what does your soul say. Think about that peaceful moment. Free of any obligations, a choice made without guilt or shame, what fills your heart with peace, honestly? Birth is a womans journey, that can only be supported by those who have earned her trust, to make her comfortable thru this transition. If even a hint of you feels like you want to do this with the nurses and doctors, honor that. Something here has been broken and damged. None of us here will have the right answer for you, because we do not know you. All we know is that you are a strong woman, carrying life. What do you want life, and the life of this child to produce? Never faulter in knowing you are number one momma. Your spirit is stronger than you know. Wishing you all the best blessings and a safe and peaceful pregnancy journey. Dont be afraid of choosing what brings you rest. Take care, and be well♡
You already answered your own question. Let him in. He is the Dad. He deserves to see his child born. Yes he is an ass for what he did. But he still matters to that baby.
Wow, this actually happened to me EXACTLY. I did end up having him in the delivery room, and in pictures after with new baby. When I look back at those it’s just so awkward but also I felt like he deserved that and the memories of his child being born. Co Parenting is definitely about taking your feelings out of it and letting the other person be the best parent however they can.
I will tell you, life was INSANE with 3 kids including the newborn being a single mom but it honestly wasn’t as bad as you would think. We got in a good flow and it was amazing
It’s not the baby’s fault, u answered ur own question saying he should be allowed and ur right he should . The baby is not just yours. What he did is despicable yes but baby shouldn’t suffer
He lost that privilege when he lost his respect for you. Birthing a child is a intimate thing. He does not automatically get that right just because he has the same DNA. Don’t allow him to take your self worth along with your relationship. Your future starts now with your child. He will have his own future to make. My husband is a good man and I asked him and his reply was he would not expect to be after that. He said it wouldn’t be best for the child because of your stress and baby comes first.
Is there anyone else who can be in with you? He didn’t seem to think of you when he cheated on you especially you being pregnant with his child again. It is a place for you yo be comfortable and as we are in the middle of covid the rules have changed so your with him much longer!
I think whatever you feel is right just go with it, if it’s his feelings you are trying to consider, at this point he didn’t consider yours when he cheated.
First off his affair has nothing to do with you or the baby. People cheat to make themselves feel better because they are lacking self-confidence. Secondly, I am so very sorry!!! I’ve been there done that and it was with my mother while I was pregnant and we were living with her and I was a young 18yr old. I did let him in during the birth and I even knew he had sex with my “friend” only a few hours before I birthed the baby. You do what makes you comfortable but don’t punish yourself and don’t give him any emotional ammunition to use on you later. You birth that beautiful child and when you feel better get you a ball bat and play some ping pong ball southern style 
It’s his kid as a mother u don’t want to be the one who denied that over ur feelings. Who knows he may make the decision for u and not but don’t be that woman. Let him go if that’s what u choice but we can’t keep hurting the kid.
I wouldn’t even allow him in my life anymore! He was not thinking about you or the kids when he was cheating!!!
A friend of mine says, no matter how pissed you are you will want the person who created this child, tell him how u feel and see what happens
Make him wait in the waiting room and someone who’s more supportive to you should be in your room
If your going to forgive him then yes but if you can’t get over the cheating ,?hell with him he threw y’all’s relationship out the window when he cheated
Do what u think is best for your child
Do what is comfortable for u, ur the one who is gonna be doing the delivery & if it’s gonna stress u out having him in the room it wouldn’t be good on u or baby during delivery
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He was comfortable enough to cheat on you while being pregnant with his child so be comfortable during delivery and don’t have him in that room! You’re about to endure a lot of pain, discomfort, and emotions. Allow your mom/sister or whoever makes you actually feel comfortable because you deserve it. In my opinion, if my ex husband cheated on me while I was pregnant I wouldn’t want him in there because obviously he doesn’t care or he wouldn’t have done it.
i feel it depends on how you feel, if you want him there then great let him be, if not then no because this will be a stressful time for you no matter what giving birth even without any complications and you need someone 100% there to support you and if his presence might cause a reaction that it is not safe for you or the baby. personally i would not let him be there but each their own
After going through this myself and chosing to not have him there i later regretted it in life when my son asked about when he was born. As much as being so betrayed and wronged hurts he is still the father. I can’t tell you what to do but I can tell you i regret how i once handled a similar situation out of anger and resentment.
I would not let him in if it were my situation. It would only upset me having him there. I guess he didn’t think of the consequences of his actions. In the end it’s about you being able to deliver that precious baby stress free.
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He may be an awful husband and you should divorce him. But it shouldn’t effect the experience of seeing his child be born or his relationship with that child as long as he is a good father. No one should miss their child being born.
Do what makes YOU comfortable. He has rights to his child but you are still patient in the hospital. You have the right to privacy and comfort during labor and delivery. He can wait in the waiting room and see the baby after he or she is born. Mothers have rights…you are still a person after birth. You have the right to privacy.
Your needs come before his feelings! You need to give birth in an environment where you feel safe and supported. Not to sound dramatic, but the success of the delivery could depend on it. Let him wait in the waiting room! Nothing wrong with that, it’s still a very privileged spot. There’s no reason he needs to see you at your most vulnerable, unless there is a part of you that still might want to lean on him. It’d such a personal choice, just think it through and follow your gut. Good luck
Pray on it 
seek out wisdom. If God/prayer isn’t your thing maybe get a tarot card reading? I’m very sorry you’re going through this. Men truly have epicly awful timing and can be so selfish and inconsiderate. Whatever decision you make though is the right decision because it’s YOUR choice.
I’m so sorry you have to go through something like this especially while pregnant. It is a very tough decision however, giving birth is a very emotional journey. You should only have positive things around you so your baby will not come into this world under (more) stress. If having your husband there will alleviate stress, then have him there. If you think you will be too emotional (negatively), then I would say it’s probably better that he not be in the birthing room with you. Hopefully, you have someone close to you who can be in there with you. Nonetheless, it’s still sad but I hope you chose the best option for you and baby esp since his judgement was not in your (or your family’s) best interests. 
This will not be a popular opinion. I wasnt going to comment, but I wasn’t even on this group somehow it showed up on my timeline and at first I ignored the small voice saying comment. However my spirit would not let me continue my day.
I pray peace for you and your delivery, I pray grace and mercy find its way to your heart. Forgiveness is so difficult, but so necessary. Because on the other side of your delivery is your child’s whole life. If you let this unforgiveness grow into bitterness it will affect that baby. Create your healthy boundaries, if you can’t reconcile as a couple thats understandable. However hes still dad, and children deserve happy parents, separate or together. You can not be happy if you harbor unforgiviness.
People make bad choices, that’s doesn’t make them less then. Im teaching my kids to be understanding because: Hurt people, hurt people.
Something inside them is hurting, unresolved, or not enough. Something hurt them, so they in turn hurt others.
I pray for you and resolution of your situation. So that you can have peace and joy.
No way! This is your delivery day! Surround yourself with those who love and respect you! He can, see baby later! XO I am so sorry!
I would not let him in the room. Short and simple. As a dad that would be my expectation. He doesn’t deserve it based on what he did to you, and through your emotions the baby. Unless you have forgiven him and the marriage is going on, I’d let him be in the room. Tough choice there thru
If he has the audacity to have an affair then he sure as shit doesn’t deserve the privilege to be in your room! If my honey EVER did that, he’d be lucky to even know I was in labor. I’m sure you’re a strong woman and don’t need no fricken man!!! Makes me blood boil!! You got this though!!! 
I didn’t find out till after my daughter was born of his affairs. I 100% wouldn’t have let him in there. BUT do what you feel is right and what you’re comfortable with.
Maybe you should leave him. But i was not with my childs father he had a whole other girlfriend and it only tight for the child her/his dad gets to be there to see it born. Its the babies birthday not your day. Remember that. Once its born its about the baby not yalls problems. But you should leave if he cheating while your pregnant
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Been through this. Hubs left me six months pregnant with our daughter. Found out he had a girlfriend. He left her in August the month she due to be born came back just for the birth and dipped again after. Honestly at the time all the feelings of not wanting him in the room went away. I couldn’t have done it without him. Everyone is different though, him and I just have a real messed up bond even though we aren’t together anymore. 
Definitely been there and also with my 3rd child. I went back and forth with it, but in the end I did it for my daughter. I wanted her to be able to know that he was at least there to see her born and if any pictures were taken that he would be there, again not for me but for my daughter. Did it seem as special as the other 2, of course not but unless he is going to make a seen or be harmful, I would say to just let him be part of the moment. None of this for him or you, but for the baby.
He didn’t have enough respect for you to stay faithful, f*ck him. He should have to wait until after baby is born 
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I think it depends on if you are going to work it out with him or not. If you intend on staying together then I think if you chose to not have him there you guys will never mend… due to resentment. However… If you are not going to work it out then I would treat it like you guys were already separated… He can see the baby after you deliver
I didn’t want my kids dad there. But I knew it was the right thing to do. To let him know I was at the hospital in labor. Then it’s on him to show up or not(he did). So you don’t feel the guilt later
Whatever you feel comfortable with love. Yes, a child’s father should be a part of the child’s life but does not need to be apart of something so beautiful if it puts you and your baby at risk! A baby should be born with the surroundings of love and peace!!!
I’m really sorry you have to deal with that. It makes me upset for you. When giving birth, you need to be the most comfortable that you can be. If he makes you uncomfortable then he can wait outside. Birth is such a delicate process and so much can happen. Not only that, with the fact that he’s your husband, he can technically make medical decisions for you. I don’t know how he is with you right now but it might be scary if you guys are arguing and he has that authority. I would make sure that someone I really trust is there.
I’m so sorry that you’re going through that! I’ve never been in that situation, and as I think it’s his baby as well, I think you should do what’s best for you… if he wants to be in there and you can make your peace with him being there, then he should be there as it is his baby… however, I think it’s more important that you do what you feel comfortable with, you’re the one bringing this baby into the world… I hope you can do whatever’s good for you…
You are under enough stress giving birth that if him being there is going to be distracting or draining in any way, he can wait. You need to focus on bringing that child in the world. It will still be his child whether he’s there for the first minutes or an hour later. You need to look out for you and your baby. Childbirth is an extremely private and intimate moment. If he can cheat on you while you’re carrying his child, he clearly wasnt concerned enough about your situation for you to need to bear the burden of him being in the room. I say he can wait.
Honestly I would feel like the child deserves to have the father there, especially if he was there with the other children’s births. But on the other side of things, if it puts too much stress on you then make him wait outside.
you are the one giving birth. That alone is hard enough. if him being there is going to add stress on you, and in turn the baby, then don’t allow it. The most important thing is to focus on yours and your babies health everything else can be addressed later. Don’t worry about about hurting his feelings. He didn’t consider yours when he cheated. He can see the baby after he/she is born.
Just a little insight, not telling op what she should do since she’s the only one that can make that decision…My first child’s father was a complete deadbeat. Not one appointment, multiple women, no emotional support what so ever and I still invited him to the birth (obvs did show cus he was and still is a pos) but it wasn’t my sons fault and I didn’t want to take away from their potential relationship. Does my child or I regret him not being there? No. But at the same time, he’s not in my child’s life at all. If OP dude is a good dad and plans to continue to be one, why take the birth of his third child away from him unless his presence would legitimately be unsafe. And believe me I know stress!!! I was a single teenage mom that delivered by myself (after multiple stents in the hospital alone in preterm labor) with my first and went through nursing school while pregnant with my second! Both my deliveries and boys were/continue to be fine. I know no one is a fortune teller, but try to focus on your little bean and do what’s best for them. Good luck! It’s not an easy decision either way
Id discreetly push him down a flight of stairs 
girl you deserve SO MUCH MORE. he chose his bed now let him rot in it. Pick ya best friend, brother, sister, cousin, at this point.
Giving birth is stressful enough, especially now with Covid. I’d tell him no, I need to be as relaxed and comfortable as possible.
Ha no. I would not want someone who showed me they didn’t love me and cheated on me in the room. It would make me so uncomfortable and no he does not “need” to be there for the birth of you don’t want him to be
His feelings are irrelevant. He cheated on you. He chose to step out on you. I would let him be a father and see his child after the baby is born. Watching you give birth doesn’t make him any more or less of a father but it is one of the most tender and raw moments you will ever have. It’s definitely not the time to be distracted by his betrayal.
I’d say no, he wasn’t thinking about you or the baby when he decided to cheat! What kind of man cheats on his pregnant wife?! She better than me, bc he could see the baby when everybody else did. Yes, he has every right to see his child, but I would t want something that made me uncomfortable around me…especially during that time.
Boundaries. Only one person is having a baby come outta them. I say whatever you feel best about.
Don’t do it. Let someone else you TRUST be in the room with you. He can come see the baby later.
My now ex husband assaulted me by shoving me hours before our daughter was born. I regret allowing him in the room. Hindsight tells me I should’ve called the police from the hospital and had him arrested. Different situation but if you have doubts go with your intuition. I wish I had.
if it were me, I wouldn’t allow him in the fucking room. And I would make him get tested for std’s yesterday. He could have brought something home to you. If he did the baby could also be infected or could be infected during delivery. His choice could potentially put you and your baby at risk for complications. It would be hard for me to focus on labor and delivery when picturing his castration.
No one should be “allowed” in the room if you don’t feel comfortable with it. It’s all YOUR decision. Trust your gut.
I would be straight to a solicitor putting in for a divorce doesn’t stop hurting ever you can keep him at arms length never not let him see his children as they didn’t do anything and he is still there father as for the baby then no to him been there you my think things are OK for a while new baby and everything but it’s always there he cheated on you when you were pregnant he will do it again you said you don’t no how you feel about him been there in the room you need time to yourself to think what is best for you and your feelings
He can come in to see the baby after. He did something that put your child’s health in danger (STDs when pregnant can cause stillbirth blindness and a bunch of other complications) and doesn’t deserve to be there when they’re born. Especially not if it makes you uncomfortable. Maternal distress can quickly turn into stalled labor and fetal distress. His ass can wait outside.
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Do you really want to be that uncomfortable while giving birth? This is literally the most intense thing a human can do. Not I, for sure.
It’s such an intimate thing. I feel he’s given up his rights to be there. Send him to his mistress as you’re headed to the hospital. HE made that choice.
your not going to want any stress while in the room so if he is going to stress you out i wouldn’t let him in there
Fuck that. It’s your body. You’re having to push this baby out.
He can wait in the waiting room.
Have someone that supports you in there.
Have someone that makes you comfortable.
Let him… don’t worry about what ur giving him, think about what u would be taking from ur child, don’t start a new life off under bitter circumstances
I think he should see what you go through in having his baby. Its something that will never leave him and no one else can share with him.
Just remember, men use to have to Boil water while kids were being born
I would choose someone close to you to be there send him a pic or two let him visit when you’re feeling up to it, let him get a taste of that distance after all he did what he did, his actions effect not only you but your children as well, put the distance there let him get a taste of you doin your thing without him and maybe he will pull his head out of his ass. My opinion, id be bitter as fuck. You fuck me over your fuckin my kids over and you can fuck off.
I wouldn’t let him in there. He will have 18 years to be a dad
I think since it’s his child too, he should be present.
If you really don’t want him there but are having issues with him not being there allow it, but tell him to keep his cheatin ass at the other side of the room. 
My husband pulled that bullshit before giving birth to my daughter and he wouldn’t want to be anywhere near me during the delivery.
Do what makes you comfortable
No he’s out, it needs to be a place of comfort peace and joy. Period.
I can’t imagine what you are going through, but I would allow him in the room. 
best of luck.
Do what is best for the child. Either decide to leave him or decide to stay.
He went outside the marriage, you owe him nothing.
You should pray about it and let the Lord lead you.
First, I can’t express how sorry I am that you are going through this. You must be devastated. I wish I could hug you. 
In response to your question… To me, the birth is between a mother and child. The man isn’t there for his own benefit, he is there to support you. Personally, I’d let him wait in the hallway until they bring the baby to the nursery and he can go with the baby and have his time. I don’t think I could ever forgive somebody for having an affair, but to continue the affair while you are pregnant with his child? Smh. No self control at the very least. But Anyways, just don’t make your decision out of spite. No he doesn’t deserve to have you keeping him in mind… but If you, in your heart, want him there then yes let him be there. But if you truly are discomforted by his presence then don’t let him ruin this moment for you and your baby. Ultimately the decision is up to you and what you truly want and it’s nobody else’s choice to make.
If he stresses you, causes you anxiety or
Anything that will disturb laboring then no he shouldn’t… You need to take care of YOU.
You tell him pack his stuff get out fill for device slap on child support payments