Right now at the hospital I am going to deliver at in October, they are only allowing one support person in the room. If that is the case where you will be giving birth, I would not have him in the room. You are going to be in pain, emotional, you need someone who can give you love and support, not someone who is going to stress you out. If they allow it, have him maybe come in right at the end to to see the baby born, but you don’t need the stress of him being there while you are in labor. Good luck and congratulations on your little one!
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He would be out on his butt. But that’s me
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Put him in a corner of delivery room, out of your sight, and totally ignore the asshole. Bring in people who love you and comfort you, say maybe and old boyfriend!!!
He’s the father he has every right to be in that room no matter the circumstances
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What’s up with so many of yall just saying he dont have to be in there or dont let him…its not just her child, it’s also his…he has just as much equal rights as she does…what went down between them as they shouldnt let effect their kids,its between them…if he wants to be there to see the birth of THEIR child then he should…that’s no different than dangling a child above the fathers head…he messed up not the baby…so dont take it out on the baby…allow the father in the room if he wants, you dont need to answer to the child in the long run why you wouldn’t allow its dad in the room to watch it be born when it has 2 parents not 1
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If you can only have 1 person in the room with you, I’d pick someone that isn’t causing you stress.
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The answer would be a hell no for me personally.
I would sleep better knowing he was robbed of a such a wonderful moment😁
You can wait in the parking lot🤷🏻♀️
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Nether of the dads of my kids were in the room when I gave birth. Their own faults. They don’t miss much, because they aren’t around now
I know how you feel about the cheating thing. He deserves to be in the room but if at that time you are still getting upset with him then I would say keep him out because you don’t need stressed during delivery. Keep that head up girl!
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would let him in the room It’s not ABOUT you it’s about the baby.it’s not the babies fault he cheated!! I set boundaries with him def what you want from him what you don’t! Make it clear! He should be there!
I feel he chose his bed, now he can lay in it. The birth is about you, and you being comfortable, you being supported, and what you want. If you don’t feel comfortable with him being in the room, he can wait until after to meet his baby.
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Are you seperated?? Or trying to work things out? If you’re separating to hell with it, especially if it makes you uncomfortable! He doesn’t have to be IN the room! If you’re attempting to work things out it wouldn’t make much sense to keep him out… thats just my opinion though. Sorry youre going through that! 
You know what, he made his choice. This choice gets to be yours. You need to be an a good place to have a good birthing experience, and the baby deserves to come into the world and meet their mother In a setting that has you the most at ease and ready to tackle and insane bodily feat. His choices have consequences, and if you feel you need him not be in the room, that is his own fault, not yours. He made his choice this may be his consequence. My advice is to look out for yourself and what is best for you, he is clearly not considering that.
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If it makes you uncomfortable, he can sit in the waiting room. Take it from someone who has had 2 deliveries almost end in the death of their newborn because of STRESS in the delivery room. YOU need to be focused, not stressed. The more stressed I was, the more my girls heartrates dropped and I can promise you, HE AIN’T WORTH IT!
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Hell no, I wouldn’t let him see the baby. &%$# him ; send him to his mistress. Not too many girls will like him,n will send him back to you cause they know better.
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Nobody deserves anything unless it’s earned. He has lost your trust and put you in a situation you shouldn’t ever be in right before delivery. If it were me and my baby, I would not allow him in. His baby, yes, but he gave up the “right” to be part of you intimately when he made decisions that ruined your marriage. 
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If you can only have one supportive partner in the room then I would pick someone who isnt going to stress you out or make you feel some type of way. Im sorry this happened to you. My heart goes out to you.
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If it will cause you distress while in labor it’s not worth it. You reap what you sow 
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This happened to me with the birth of my daughter. I let him in and was so uncomfortable and stressful and wish I wouldn’t have. But do what you feel is right
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I’d let him be there, but he will stay away and not say a single to word to me.
Your baby won’t know any different !! If your gona start this journey with out him, which I hope ya are after he’s an affair there is seriously no going back even if you were to try, so I’d leave him gutted waiting outside , he chose he’s own bed he can lie in it , Goodluck xxx
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I wouldn’t let him in the room. He can wait outside with other family
Wow, how devastating. I can relate, my ex left before our (born premature 27.5 was) son was 1. 
To me, he forfeited that privilege when he cheated. If it was me…no, I would not have him in there. But it is up to you. If you are comfortable with it, then go for it. I’m all for the mommas comfort, both physically and mentally, while she is giving birth.
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Considering with COVID you’ll only be aloud probably one person max I would either go with your mother or if you have a sister or even your closest friend he lost that privilege when he put he’s dick above your feelings when the child’s out you can have him come in he shouldn’t be there when you are in such a vulnerable state it could just make things worse.
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How do you know if he’ll show up?
I think whatever the mom feels comfortable with she is the one having the baby she doesn’t need the stress
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At the end of the day, its your labor & your choice.
Have him stay home with the kids. Have him make sure the other kids are loved. They’ll be worried about Mom. Seeing Dad will help calm them & comfort them. This way he’s doing something useful.
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No way I would allow it. He should have considered what he would be forfeiting when he cheated on you.
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While this is entirely your choice I can understand the hard ship!! I’ve been through similar… I ended up let him in because I didn’t want to be the reason he missed out on the birth of his child… I’m not going to say that’s the right answer though because there is no right answer
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Fuck that. He had a choice. Id rather have a different support person then the one that betrayed me. Make him feel the hurt he made you feel. I wouldn’t let him watch. He can come see the baby afterwards WITHOUT his mistress. Bet he wasn’t thinking about your feelings or his baby that you are carrying when he was intimate with his little side piece. He stepped out and made that disgusting choice he should face the consequences. He should have thought about all that before going behind your back. BUT that’s just me and how I see it. Its your choice.
Which one makes you feel more comfortable? Does the thought of him being in the room stress you out or just slightly uncomfortable? You don’t want a stressful/angry environment during childbirth.
Do what’s best for YOU & your baby
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There is absolutely no greater humiliation a man can do to a woman than cheat on her. Triple that a thousand time if he does it when she is pregnant with his child. He is by no means a honorable man and definitely not one I would want as an example for my children. You will never be able to trust him again because he has destroyed it. If he is in the room or not is up to you. Just make sure the moment is about you and the baby and not his lies. Personally he would not be there if it were me. And no I am not a bitter person, there are just some lines when crossed cannot be increased for me.
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Have someone share pictures with him of the birth so he can be apart of it and have him see baby later once things have calmed down. I get that he is dad and he should be apart of his child’s birth but it’s also about your body and your health and mental health and babies health. I personally wouldn’t want that kind of energy in the room while I’m bringing a child into the world.
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NO. You need a support person. If he is not someone you can’t count on to be there for you in your time of need NO. Doesn’t matter if he’s the father or not. When you give birth the last thing you need is stress and nonsense. Don’t set yourself up for a a unhappy time while giving birth to your little one.
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No way would I let him In the room he can see the baby in the Nursery why humiliated yourself any further Or are you hoping this would bring him back to you??? I myself would not want him but it is your decision
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Have him there, you may not get another chance and you’ll regret it…work it out later
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The labor is all you. He’ll be able to meet that baby asap. But the labor and the trauma you’re going to go through has nothing to do with him. It’s about your comfort.
And he isn’t that anymore. So pick who you want to cry, and hold and share that experience with. You dont want to look back on it and regret it.
I sorry but you are giving birth you do not need to be uncomfortable and upset let the loser wait outside yes it is sad he will miss birth but this is about mama not baby or dad baby can not tell if he was there and later if wants he can explain why
Leave him and go to court and take him for everything he’s got
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It is YOUR TRAUMA. watching your kid being born is a privilege because it’s about the mother and the baby during birth. If he cared he wouldn’t have cheated. 🤷
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You have to do what you feel is right for you. I wish you All the best
You already said it, you don’t want him in the room. Don’t let him be there. Boom, done.
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He should have thought of you and that precious baby before he had that affair. I wouldn’t want my husband watching me labor after he let me down. That would not be peaceful for me. That’s the time for a great support person and you and your baby will get to finally meet
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Make him wait outside the Room and then if YOU decide you want him in there, as it goes on, have someone go get him. That’s the least he can do. Just saying, its YOUR choice. I don’t think you should let anybody pressure you.
If it were me, my thoughts would be that… if he cared about your pregnancy and that baby he would’ve been by your side all along and not with another woman. Hell no.
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Same thing happened to me but I didn’t get the choice. My Dr barred him from attending and it wasn’t on my request. I had no clue. While the dr was able to bar him from the operating room because I was having c-section, he couldn’t bar him from the hospital. I found out afterwards and when I spoke to the dr about it, he said I didn’t need the additional stress.
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He doesn’t deserve to see that baby born. Kick him to the curb. He disrespected you and the other kids doing what he did. If he thinks the grass is greener on the other side, then let him go live it. And I would get child support too. I’m sorry. I’ve been cheated on and me and my kids disrespected and I do not deal with shit like this anymore.
Me personally I’ve not experienced any of this. But here’s my thought. Yeah he’s an ass for doing that to you. But if it was me I would let him in to see the birth of his child. Don’t take that out on the baby. Make him stand near your head or on the other side of the room if need be. However once everything was done and you all are back to home have him pack up and leave because YOU don’t deserve that. You deserve better. He is garbage for going out on his wife. Period!!
Having anyone there is a support for you. If you feel he can be there for you, then absolutely. If not have someone who is vested in you be there. He can meet the child after the birth. Its not really that big of a deal. Believe me, it will not be detrimental to the child or him.
Although what he is doing is so wrong on every level…he is still that child’s father and he deserves to be there. Just my opinion. I hate my daughters dad but I have never kept him away from anything in our daughters life including her birth.
Divorce. Once a cheater always a cheater. Move on.
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Personally think he should still be able to see his kid born. But that’s just me.
This is his child yes he cheated I know how that feels but one day your child will want to hear that daddy watched him or her be born the rest can be figured out later but you might regret not having him there
If he cared at all he wouldn’t have cheated on his pregnant wife…get rid of him asap. Go to court to set up visitation for him to see the kids…
I’m sorry but if he’s willing to cheat on you while pregnant with his child then I doubt he’ll wanna stick around to help you care for the baby once you deliver. There is NO excuse for cheating.
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WHERE THE HELL WAS HIS CARE FOR “HIS” CHILD WHILE HE WAS HAVING FUNN WITH THE WHORE ummm hello dont be a sucker and start with the its his child i would feel wrong like muthafukr had his pregnant WIFE at home while he was having FUNNN ummm he should have thought about the baby instead of ass 
Its your choice you need to be comfortable he should have thought about it before fucking around.
Hes a fucking douchebag I wouldnt allow it
He’s been all up in another woman’s vag… Fuck no
If you aren’t together he doesnt need to be there. I am sooooo thankful that I didn’t have my first sons dad there! It’s so emotional and physical and vulnerable and it’s your last experience with your pregnancy and just you and baby. You don’t want to be worrying about what hes thinking or feeling while you’re naked and split in half and screaming and possibly pooping. Why would you want him there when its obvious that he isnt gonna be supportive or helpful? Is he gonna hold your hand and tell you you’re doing great when you’re ready to give up? Is he going to kiss your forehead and tell you how proud of you he is and how now he loves you so much more and how thankful he is for you and what you just did?
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I would want a supportive person in the room with me… Not someone who’s let me down in the worst way. Yes, he’s the father but he doesn’t have to be present at birth.
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Follow your gut instinct. Do what your heart and soul tell you to do.
That’s a lot if added stress,feelings,hurt etc on your delivery day. If you can handle it then yes he should be there. But you can have him leave right after.
I think it is 100% your decision and you shouldn’t feel bad about it. You are the one birthing the child and doing all of the work. Not him. You need to have all the positivity surrounding you at that time.
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I think you should do what you want and not feel guilty about it either way … hugs
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I was in your exact same situation. I made the decision to have him in the room. Too this day I dont know if it was the right one. YES he is the father but also the man who abandoned me when I needed him most. I was also extremely devastated and heart broken. My daughter is an adult now and they do have a relationship tho not great. We were apart for 18 months then got back together for another 12 years until I realized this person really isn’t the man I want in my life. (they DONT change) All I can say is follow your heart, do what you feel is the best decision for you and your precious baby. Take Care
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He should of thought about that before he did what he did. This is about you and you being comfortable not him.
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I still had mine there and found out just before i had her(#4). Ive have had the WORST postpartum depression. I think it all depends emotionally where you are with him personally. If its still going to rattle your nerves for him to be there, stick with only having a loved one or 2 with you.
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Yeah, no. He lost that privilege when he cheated. Labor and delivery isn’t a spectator sport. If you’re uncomfortable with him being there it puts you at a greater risk of complications. You need to have someone there you trust and who will be comforting to have. He can meet the baby after it’s born like everyone else.
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Are you still with him? I mean if your going to stay with him 
then you might as well let him in the room too!
If you left his cheating ass then no I wouldn’t! But that is your choice. Do what makes you comfortable and happy
I would probably have him there … but after you get home things will / won’t be the same thanks to him. Sad. But true Reevaluate your situation and figure out what’s best for your children that’s the most important not to have your children in a toxic home. Good luck mamma you got this!!! Don’t ever let anyone tell ya differently.
MaMa. You deserve to be surrounded by love and comfort. You have a right to and are completely justified in not letting him in. Giving birth is hard enough on its own without that extra stress. Please. Find your support people now. Because the first few weeks are hard with out having to deal with the heart ache. Your mom, sister, best friends. Express to them now how much you will need them. Huge Hug
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That’s a really hard decision to make good luck 
Personally you’d be bigger person than me I wouldn’t let him in the room. He’s got time after to bond. I mean in the old days father’s weren’t in the rooms and we turned out ok not having dad in the room. It’s your choice, if he cared he wouldn’t have cheated. The baby deserves a peaceful delivery. Good luck, I’m sorry .
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I’m so sorry for you! It is a terrible feeling.
Nope. I wouldn’t allow it.
So this has happened to me twice. (Really shitty taste in men I guess). I was 30 weeks with our second son when I found out my husband was cheating on me. He was not there for the birth, although this actually wasn’t my decision - he was in rehab and they wouldn’t let him leave for the birth. Even though it wasn’t up to me in the end, I’m still sad he wasn’t there. Yes, I was devastated and really angry with him but I hate that he missed our son being born and that my son didn’t have his father there. Second time this happened I was pregnant with my daughter (3rd child) and found out my boyfriend was cheating on me with his ex. Once again, devastated and furious. But I did allow him to be in the room when our daughter was born and I’m glad I did. In both cases, they may have been shitty husband/boyfriend but they are both really good fathers and they love their children.
Even though it’s his child too, your the one giving birth. It’s all about you and your comfort because your the one who just spent 9/10 months making her and then pushing her out of your vagina. You need to have somebody there who makes you comfortable and eases your pain, not somebody who just cheated on you and made you feel the way you do in your most vulnerable state. It’s 100% your choice and if he or anybody has anything to say about it I’d tell them to fuck themselves
You could let him wait in the waiting room and then see the baby after it’s born. If you explain to your doctors the special circumstances you are in they should be more than happy to help you work something out to keep you more comfortable.
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Back when I had my children men where not aloud the child didn’t know it no big deal
Personally I would not have him there. Id be pissed off the whole time to even look at him
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I’m so sorry you are going through this just thinking of that pain is hard enough, it’s a difficult decision. Going through the pain of delivering is enough with out all the added factors 
if you don’t want him there then that is your decision make sure you do have someone there to help you emotionally and physically you need lots of support if you can get it, I’m so sorry you are going through this if you need to talk you can always pm me I won’t say who you are or talk to anyone else. You have amazing people in this group that will be here for you
Nope. My ex didn’t attend. He made me uncomfortable, stressed me out etc all of which was counter productive for labour. You’ll be told the hormone needed to keep labour going naturally is produced in non-stressful situations lol so keep that in mind too
Delivery is about you anf baby no one else … Fuck him make it about you
Honey this is your time. He didn’t have to do what he did- you do not owe him a damn thing!
I say nope he disrespected you to the max and being there is a privilege I don’t think he’s earn. Not to mention he would prob try to comfort you and be fake in front of the doctors and nurses.
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Worry about your feelings first because everything you experience, so does your child. If you think that you can be civil and calm and comfortable with him there, then do it. If not, don’t you waste a second feeling bad for him about not being in there with you. You need to feel loved and supported during this experience. He could always come afterwards if it’s that important to the both of you
The most important things in that room are to be you and the child. He majorly fxcked up … is it him you want helping you? Is it he who will make you feel safe and prepared to bring this new blessing into your life?
You have every right to not include him. The birth is your territory and on your terms. If I were you, I would move forward with not including him… unless you know in your heart you will stay together.
Just my two cents. So sorry you are going thru this, it is the very last thing any expectant mother should go through.
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It is entirely up to you and what you are comfortable with. You are the one that is birthing a baby and the one that needs to be relaxed and comfortable to do so.
Oh keep him close so you can break every finger on his hand mid contraction what a pig
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It’s noble of you to think of him but especially in this circumstance where you are extremely vulnerable and compromised giving birth, make sure you put your wants/needs/and comforts FIRST. This is both of your baby but you are the only one putting your life and body on the line- if you don’t want him there even a little bit don’t hesitate for a second- you deserve to be as comfortable and confident as possible and if that means having your mom or sister or bestie by your side instead that is perfectly a-okay. I’m so sorry to hear what you’re going through. I’m also due in September. Sending you and your baby tons of love and good vibes.
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Not heartbroken enough to kick his ass to the curb. Where was he, he’s moved on. You need to also. He didn’t care enough not to cheat, but you feel he has a right to see this child born. AH, Hell no.
Very similar situations. I chose to take my mom as my one person. Not a choice I made alone. He was given a chance but wasn’t assertive ab it being him. I regret it & wish he would have been there even though we’re still not together.
He disrespected you why should you cater to him this is about you not him he will only make your experience terrible bring your best friend with you
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It’s your birth experience. I couldn’t even stand the sound of anyone talking to me and I was with people I enjoy being around.
You are not obligated to do anything for anyone else that would put you in any kind of unnecessary stress.
He can see his child afterwards. It’s not a punishment, but definitely a consequence of his actions. He can still bond with his child without being in the room when his child is born.
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Your the one delivering the baby. If he doesnt make you comfortable then tell him to wait in the waiting room. He can see the baby after you give birth.
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I would be more busy filing for divorce than planning the delivery room. Hes scum.
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That’s a hard one. I’m so sorry. Nothing more disrespectful then a man cheating on his pregnant wife/partner. Pray on it and you have to decide what to do. I’m sorry what should be a happy time is now breaking your heart. I wish you well.
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I am so sorry… for all you are going through… Praying for you… 
and honestly, it’s your own decision… whatever you decide it’s up to you… don’t do it or not do it for anyone.
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