Honey, I am as white as they get and I’d have killed my husband if he treated me the way your husband does. Love your skin, love your culture. You are enough. You have worth. He is a horrible husband and 6 years is more than enough time for him to get himself together. You deserve better
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Girl, kick him out already. You keep allowing this behavior, that’s why he won’t stop. You’ve set it in his head that you’re not going anywhere.
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Leave him because hes a cheating pos.
So at this point your options are to either join in or leave. If this has gone on for this long and you’ve never put your foot down to stop it, then why would he? He clearly is not a one women man so the two options are clear. Especially when he knows you will be there every time regardless.
As bad as your husband sounds, I can tell you that you are also wrong for allowing him to shrink you and lower your standards to the point of humiliation in front of all those women. Your husband has shown you who he was even before he was your husband and has told you that he will not stop speaking to these women and you in turn still married him and are pregnant with your second child, making it more difficult to walk away. I can tell you right now that your husband has narcissistic behavior and that being said, I can sympathize with a victim (you) because their strength is manipulation. What upsets me is when you try to leave he cries for you to stay. In the moment he is begging you, he is showing you a weakness to him that you crave but in reality it’s him being selfish still because he knows no other woman in her right mind will tolerate nearly half of what you’ve tolerated so far. I can almost guarantee you do every single thing for this man so why would he want you to leave? I will never advocate for divorce because this is only your side but I can tell you that you are in a very toxic relationship and you need to leave and separate temporarily so you can get your strength back to leave permanently. A woman like you needs to get away from their narcissist so that they can open their eyes and see the situation for what it really is. What scares me is that you will stay and raise your children to think this is OK behavior. How will you feel when your Sons wife comes and tells you he is treating her the very exact way your husband has been treating you. The love you have for your son will not allow him to continue so you need to learn to love yourself enough to walk away and get your self together for your kids. He won’t change, I can assure you of that. It’s not worth losing your peace.
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Bye Bye Baby! Don’t let Him treat You like that! You are Worth so much more!
I stopped reading at "Iv seen lots of selfies at activities like lunch, dinner, clubbing and hiking. "
From what I did read, you should have left before that.
You know exactly what you need to do at this point. Why ask strangers?
GOOOOOOO!!!
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Next time he went out on some late night errand for a random girl I’d change the lock behind him.
You lay with dogs, you get up with fleas. Why are you & your child still with this asshole, and why are you still sleeping with him? He is continuously abusive to you and your child, make no mistake.
Not sure what support for single moms exists where you are, but get out & make a better life for you and your children. Get child support if possible. You can find a real man who will recognize the queen you are and treat you accordingly.
And as a white, Western woman, if me and my friends caught our husbands behaving this way, we would shoot them. Ask him if he’d like to have you shoot him like we do. 
Walk away and don’t look back. Read your letter as though it was written by someone else and not you. You will never find any happiness in this relationship because he is unable to love. Don’t feel guilty. Don’t go back. Don’t look over your shoulder. Find a safe place to go with your child and wait for doors to open, because they will. Never feel it was your fault. Just walk away. And i will be praying for you!
Why did you even married him if he was cheating ??? Once a cheater always a cheater! Run fast . He dosent want to be married or be with you. He wants lots of women. You need to get ur kid and run. I would of made the last night the day he left my son and I sitting waiting to get into a locked house so he can get his rocks off with another chick
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Divorce. Once a cheater always a cheater
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I’m white and we also minimized, basically diminished relationships with the opposite sex when we got married! He is cheating on you! He is definitely having his cake and eating it too. I honestly don’t know how you’ve put up with that for so long.
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Brighten up and leave. It won’t change so quit expecting it to.
Walk away. If it’s been 7 years and he’s still doing the same stuff, he’s not going to change. It sounds to me like he doesn’t really love you and he just wants you around for his convenience. I’m sorry you are going through this.
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From an American woman…Kick this piece of dirt to the door…you are being used and totally disrespected. You are worth much more and if this is not your custom, please do not allow it:heart:
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#leave #divorceanmoveon
#heshouldnotbenarried
#youcandobetter
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He is no good SOB put his ass out
My dear it is not western culture to allow your husband to walk all over you and treat you like nothing, that is just him trying to manipulate you and the situation to get what he wants. To be really honest, it is western culture to get a divorce the first time he cheats.
You are worth more than what he is doing to you, you deserve better than the treatment you are getting and you deserve better than him. You are the mother of his children and deserve respect. He should be treating you like his queen but instead he is treating you like crap. Please leave him. Dont let his crying manipulate you, has your crying ever stopped him?
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Leave him. Men dont change and go to your dr and get checked
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The way I see it, no one is perfect. Everyone deserves a second chance. Having said that, you giving him chance after chance after chance isn’t doing anything, but enabling him. Either leave or learn to live with it.
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Time for u to leave he will never change
Cake and eating it too why stop
DIVORCE that fucktard!! And maybe move outta town andnd get Ur self checked at the doctor’s like ASAP!! Girl!!
I’m so freaking out for U!! Call a lawyer and take his stupid ass to the bank! Omg!!
He would have been out of my house when I found out about the affair after being married 7 months!!! You continue to let it happen.
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He will continue cheating! Run and don’t look back!!
That is cheating. It doesn’t always have to be physical but he is emotionally giving himself way to someone that isnt you or your family.
That is just a cycle of abandonment and disappointment.
Get your affairs in order and find peace with yourself to let someone in your life that will give you the world.
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Is this real?! Like someone is actually going through this?
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If the question is whether or not you should leave…the clear answer is 100% get out of this marriage! A) he is showing your children how a woman should be treated B) if he cheated and hasn’t changed his ways, he has never and will never choose you C) know your worth!! You are worth more then these other women, you are worth more then the change he gives you and you are worth more then him!! Good luck on your journey and I hope you find a man who treats you and your kids the way you should be treated!
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Your letting him do whatever he wants, he knows u aint gonna put ur foot down an he knows the only thing ur gonna do is complain about it. If this is the life u want then dont change anything. BUT if ur serious about it dump his ass NOW… get him on child support an move on. HE WILL NOT CHANGE.
Get rid of him. He’s an asshole.
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You can’t be that gullible, or stupid. Please!
Wow. Only got halfway through this as really didn’t need to go on.
Why on earth are you still accepting that behaviour as ok?! Everytime you do nothing you just reinforce that it’s ok to be treated like that. It makes you the enabler. Put yourself first and give him the literal boot. Right up his manipulative asshole.
Sorry to say that guy is just useing
You
Wow, I’d rather be single then deal with that.
Leave before your son grows up to he a cheating asshole like his dad.
I live with my guard up. 2 years and one son later this man KNOWS if i catch a whiff of anything sketchy…im OUT.
Is that how you want your children to think a man is supposed to treat a woman? Like it or not, that’s what you’re doing. Teaching them that his behavior is how it its supposed to be. Get out. Find yourself as a single mother and along the way you will find someone that can show you and your children the way a MAN is SUPPOSED to treat a woman. Don’t go looking for someone else til you find yourself and don’t take ANY crap from ANYONE. find a Celebrate Recovery group. They help with recovering from EVERYTHING… bad relationships, mental and physical abuse, drugs, alcohol, bad childhood, etc. They will not only help you recover from a bad marriage, but they will be there to build you up. Regain your self esteem and self worth. Trust me honey, you’re worth WAY more than he’s accrediting you for. Prayers for strength, self value, self worth, and courage to move on
Leave him. He’s been cheating on you since before you were married. He still is. Leave.
Get out! Seriously stop putting up with this shit!!
Why are you wasting your time with this guy kick his butt out and go find somebody who will be true to you or if you don’t want to do that why don’t you get some male friends you hang out with and see how it affects him
Wtf are you doing?! If you and your husband are cool with a polyamorous relationship so be it, but he is strait up cheating in front of your eyes and you do nothing. Wake up. Move on.
leave. you are worth so much more then that! if you can find someone that worthless to love you imagine finding the one that will love you to the ends of the earth, you need someone you can trust and grow with… that just seems like he’s living in the past and can’t move forward
Although it sounds gracious of him to put other people’s needs above his own, to put others above his family is not. You have to ask yourself as a mother, is this the kind of relationship you want to teach your children to be healthy. If a man was doing this to your daughter, what words of wisdom would you give her??? If a woman was treating your son in this manner, would you sit quietly by??? Always ask yourself, would I allow someone to treat my child this way??? If the answer is No, then you shouldn’t allow them to treat you that way. You are worth far more and someone will appreciate you the way you deserve, but not if you’re still sitting next to the wrong one. Good Luck Mama
Get out with the kids. He doesn’t deserve you and you deserve so much better. Don’t let him make you feel bad and manipulate you like he has been. He is never going to change and it’s not good for your kids to grow up in that kind of home life either.
Lady, seriously hun- read what u just typed. This is absolute ridiculous. He is not ur partner, content comparisons to other women- that’s horrible. He has some serious issues and he isn’t dealing with them, this is not a “work on your marriage” issue. This is a “he needs to stop acting like he’s single” issue that only he can solve. I would leave and let him be who he is, u can’t force people to change. He prefers being this person over being a partner in smarties he and he has showed and told u this- just watch what’s he’s doing and listen. Time to go huh 
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I stopped reading after “he spends most of his time talking to them, sending each other inappropriate messages.” Listen here. This fella is not going to change. He’s a ladies man. Either accept that you are in a relationship with this man and several other women or leave him.
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Get the fuck rid of him
Leave. Now. I don’t know if you have family or friends that will help you but you need to leave him. Perhaps there are agencies that will help a single mother? Find a way and go. He clearly doesn’t love you or he wouldn’t be doing such things.
He is disrespecting you, because he knows hes going to get away with it each time. If it was me, I would give one final ultimatum. And if/once it’s broken, I would walk away. It’s doing you no good being stuck in this relationship. Even if he isnt/hasn’t cheated again, hes crossing a line by speaking to you the way he does, and by messaging inappropriate things to other women. It seems like hes using you. Xx
A very sad situation exists because she is being emotionally abused and has no self worth. Please help her find some self love so she can know she is worth a wonderful relationship with respect for herself and her children!
I stopped reading halfway through which I hardly ever do but I’ve heard enough to say with great certainty that you have married a playboy and you need to run. He wont change and you will always want more for yourself.
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I can’t even get through this. It’s so painful. If you can leave and start over with someone who loves you for you. Please do that.
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Couple of things here… frist, you should not be anyone’s second choice especially in a marriage. Second, first time shame on him second time shame on you. And third, how many time are you going to give him the bullets because he missed killing your soul.
My daughters father cheated on me when we were first dating, I gave him the benefit of the doubt and gave him a second chance(the only time in my life that I ever have given a second chance) and after my LO was born and I wasnt the same he cheated again. NO WAY IN HELL did I ever deserve that. So those single women he calls beautiful and pretty and belittles you for not being like them he is cheating on either your body by sleeping with them or cheating on you as a person by emotionally cheating on you.
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Why is this a question. Hes a narcissist and you need to leave.
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My heart ACHES for u. This made me angry and sad and I don’t even know u. U deserve so much more and ur son deserves so much more. Ur son should see how he should treat women. He should see his mother happy and deserves that. For the love of all things-leave him. I’m sorry to say this about ur husband-but he’s a piece of shit! If it’s not for urself then do it for ur children! Show them what a strong woman really looks like
You have a 198 people telling you the same thing! LEAVE AND BE DONE LET PLAYAER,PLAYAER, PLAY! RUN DON’T WALK!
Why are you even still there? I’d have left with the first offense…also this group sucks I didn’t come on this page to read advice Essays…came here for fun…later
Leave he will never change
I cant read this. Why are you having a second child with him?
Your culture is not an argument. Doesn’t sound like he’s ready to settle down and be married and that is not your fault or yours to fix. My only answer is to leave and don’t let him beg his way back. He’s proven he won’t be faithful and devoted to you. End it while you are young enough to start over.
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Girl leave, he doesn’t respect you
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Sorry but why are you still with him. He doesn’t respect you he’s cheating on you he’s placing you last. Leave
I’d kick him to the curb. No man should put any person before his wife and family. That flirting is inappropriate. It shows a complete lack of respect for you and the vows he took. He won’t change. If he hasn’t now he never will. You are not being too “black” you are just asking for respect and the love of your man. I would honestly tell him not ask him to get out and stay with one of his ladies.
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Girl you got to LEAVE HIM NOW!! Take your baby & go!!! He has zero respect for you or yalls marriage. He can’t love you, not acting this way & saying those things. LEAVE, PLEASE. You deserve so much better & so much more than that sorry excuse of a “man” will ever be able to provide for you!!! Best of luck girl!
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Girl take the advice from everyone and leave this man!!
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Leave! He does not respect your relationship. He is wanting you to be friends with the women he cheats with probably hoping for a poly relationship. I say leave. If you leave and he begs you back dont go automatically. Make him work for it and show you that he intends to change. But I’m going to bet he is really just aiming for polygamy. Love yourself and your children. Clearly he does not. Prayers the emotional damage he has done to you heals.
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I am sorry, your husband is a jerk & is not ready for commitment. You deserve more than what he is giving you. He should honor you, the mother of his children. Yet he has no honor for himself. He is not capable.
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Get rid of him!!! A zebra doesn’t change its stripes no matter how long you give it.
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You dont need to change you, you need to leave to find someone who will treat you the way you and your children deserve to be treated. By you staying you are sending a message to your children that this is okay behavior and that they should behave the same as their dad and that they should tolerate this from their future spouse. No person male or female should be put through that kind of disrespect especially by someone who claims they love you.
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Stop letting him walk all over you. Stand up for yourself and your kids and LEAVE. Do you want your kids to grow up doing this? Because they will think it’s ok and definitely will do so.
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You have allowed this man to do all of this to you by not giving him any consequences to his actions. People will only do what you allow. He will never change now, you’ve allowed it to long. You will either need to leave him to find happiness or stay and put up with his ways, but You don’t Deserve this behavior and your kids will grow up thinking this is okay, they will do the same thing when they find relationships.
Why are you still putting up with this? You know you & your children deserve so much better. Leave his sorry ass
I’ve been in a very similar situation. It’s best to leave ASAP. This is so disrespectful to you… don’t take any more of it!
I’m not even going to finish reading after the 3rd sentence. LEAVE HIM.
Oh no, no, no!!! He acts single all the way. Ditch him! Don’t tolerate that disrespect!!
Listen to all this advice & leave you’ll be 100% better off without your deadbeat husband
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If hes so attracted to so many othet females id show him the door there is someone better out there for you hes never gonna behave he has a problem with faithfulness
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Get rid of the cheating lying bastard NOW
Just leave and move on
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How do these dumbass questions even get posted?
Your HUSBAND CHEATED
Should have never married your cheating ass fiance to begin with, you basically told him what he did was ok
Wtf do you think you should do?
Is this a joke…a wind up ??? No one would put up with this behaviour no matter what culture they are brought up in . This is not a marriage. Respect yourself and change your locks and put his shit in the back garden !!!
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He is not husband material and doesn’t want to be tied down by a marriage and kids. You don’t need to change your thinking, this is wrong in any culture, and emotional abuse is never okay. I would leave him, seek individual therapy, and find a man who values you for the treasure you are.
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Move on lady it’s sounds like you married a chronic cheater.
Some men just enjoy the chase. He’s married to you so the chase is over and now he’s going after other women. Kick that idiot out. YOU are allowing him to treat you this way and he knows what to say so you won’t leave him and you believe his bullshit.
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I am sorry you are alowing this relationship to go on like this. You an your children come first an for most. I live in Wi. USA. I would not tolerate this behavior no now not then
You an your children deserve more.
Well if i was u i would open my eyes wider he doing this in ur face type shit. Do u have kids together? He camt be sometimes a good person he gotta be good all the time to me i wouldnt tolerate it
Girl he will never change!!! And fyl I’m white and would kill my husband if he done what your husband is doing. You sound like a smart reasonable person. Don’t let him treat you like that. Girl get all the proof of his cheating. And get his ass for child support and to help you. You deserve so much better
You have got to be kidding me! Stop and think. What would you say to your daughter if she was going through this? Big deal he plays with his son. Is this really the role model you want for him? He doesn’t even care enough about you or his son to come open a freaking door for you? You know good and well what you need to do but you will stay with him and let him treat you like crap. What happens if one of these little friends gets pregnant? If you really believe they are not friends with benefits you are beyond help. Grow a back bone.
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It is not the western culture to let your husband do what he wants, that’s the response of a self centered spoiled boy. He needs to man up and either be married or single but respect his wife
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Sweetheart this has emotional abuse written all over it. You’re in the middle of it so you might not realize it. I’m so sorry. Realize you are better than this. You deserve a man that will treat you like a queen. A man where you will never have to question his intentions. Be strong. Bite the bullet. Leave for the sake of your beautiful children. 
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Girl dump his ass and never look back he is a dead beat scum bag! He is cheating on you in every single way! First of all you should not have to adapt to crap! Its marriage and you should love and respect each other and clearly he doesn’t do anything of that to you or your children get out while you still can. His father’s death is not an excuse!
you are number one not second
Honey u need to leave … think about the children if not urself … they r the innocent ones in all this but they will be the ones to hurt the most … if u as their mother don’t get them away from that sort of behavior…
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You are a grown women who needs to respect herself and have confidence to know this is not love. Love is unbelievable when it’s with the right person. You are to be respected and supported and treated like a life partner not a servant. You need to take control of your life for you and for the little person and future baby you are raising. This person you call your husband is arrogant and selfish. Make a plan and get out of this ridiculous sham of a relationship now that is more Western for his as*. Real men of the West love and support their family.
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You need to leave him.
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First, Having primarily female friends and complimenting them/doing other friendship things by themselves are NOT red flags to cheating. Too many women throw a fit because their boyfriend or husband is a friendly person or very extroverted. Neither is a bad thing.
That being said, your situation is significantly more complicated due to the other red flags and the extensive history of being an overall asshole.Your husband clearly has the same issues that most men addicted to porn has, which is to say unrealistic expectations and an unquenchable thirst. Majority of this you will not be able to fix or change because he does not want to fix nor change it. That leaves you with the same options that most people have already commented. Suck it up, or leave him.
Disloyalty is more than kisses and nudes. It’s more than sneaking out to a girl’s apartment in the middle of the night. It’s about priorities. He’s placing every desirable woman as a priority above you, and trying to tell you that you need to earn his attention. He proposed to YOU. He married YOU. He had kids with YOU. All of that should indicate that you’re good enough. If you aren’t, then he did all of them for himself, which is a no no. It’s time to lay everything out for him. You aren’t taking this shit anymore. You aren’t being benched while he’s off living a bachelor’s life. You aren’t being matched up to other females to be compared physically, emotionally, and sexually. If he doesn’t want to be here, then he needs to leave. Enough of this one foot in one foot out crap.
You and your kids will not survive this guy. He is a player, and you will be better on your own. Your life will be better, without seeing what he does. Go down to the courthouse, and file for divorce and child support. Then, DO NOT TAKE HIS CALLS, nor listen to his whining. You deserve better, and you will find someone that will treat you wonderful. Please don’t feel like your stuck, because you have options. This guy is a user, and being disrespectful to you. You need to get your head together and get out of that mess ASAP. You can’t grow a baby with all the stress you are going through. #1: YOU, #2, your beautiful little human beings that want to be happy too. You and yours are in my prayers 2nite. Reach out to us anytime. Our arms are around you.
To put it nicely, he can get fucked
Leave. Please leave. I went through a 2 year relationship similar to this, but no kids thankfully. He had mostly female friends and the emotional abuse was horrible! I am still healing from the effects 10 years later!