My husband has an issue with my sons nails being painted: Advice?

How would you handle a seven-year-old boy that is interested in playing with lipstick and loves painting his nails? So yesterday, I picked up my son (7yr) and stepdaughter (9yr) from daycare. He was so excited to show me he got his nails painted by the teacher. I smiled, giggled, and said they look pretty. Thinking not much of it, we went home. My husband of 4 months- 3 yr relationship(stepfather to my son) was extremely upset and demanded we remove it. Loudly stated that painting nails were for girls only. I didn’t argue or say much about the topic. At bedtime, I took my son into the bathroom and proceeded to take off his nail polish. I could see he was sad, and I told him I thought his nails looked pretty. He responded, yea I thought you would have liked the color I chose (my favorite color is orange). My heart broke because now I feel like I broke this little boy’s spirit and fully went against my belief of self expression and doing what makes you happy. I’ve been letting him do these for a few years now and he didn’t understand why I didn’t like what he did. I was up crying all night. I called his real dad and he took the same stance as my husband.

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Fuck them both. Disrespectfully

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Fingernail polish is for girls.

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If they don’t like it I’d tell them not to look at his nails. Its not hurting anyone. Not like it’s permanent! He likes it. Thats all that should matter is his happiness.

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Luckily for the ex douche, and the new douche— nail polish doesn’t determine homosexuality

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If this child grows up with any version of alternative sexuality, he has already learned that it is not going to be favored by then men in his life and he will remember how he felt the day he came home with his nails painted.

Support this child and make sure he knows he has a safe place to land.

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You should have an issue with the “husband/step father”!!!

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I think it’s important to respect the other parents in his life too. How you raise your kid should be discussed between you all. I personally have three sons and wouldn’t encourage nail polish or lipstick. I think honestly though all kids go through a curious stage if they see cosmetics being used.

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Let your child express themselves regardless, he can’t change who is he is. He is just making him ashamed of himself. What an innocent child thought was cool he took and turned it into something that is unacceptable. Idk . Good luck, touchy subject depending on the person.

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I wouldn’t care. It’s a form of self expression. It’s hard when one parent is ok and the other one is not. It’s not hurting anyone or the person he’s becoming.

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My son is 9 and loves to get his nails and toes done. Has loved it since he was about 4.

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I don’t encourage nail polish but if my son likes it oh well…

Why did you remove it? Next time tell him to get the f over it

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The grown ups’ masculinity is fragile :woman_shrugging:t4: Your boy is allowed to do whatever he sees fit (as long as he doesn’t hurt anyone, & nail polish doesn’t hurt anyone I think).

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No offence but nobody has the right to demand anything ! Your son should be able to express himself any darn way he chooses to especially since it’s not hurting anyone.

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I’m sorry mama, this is so hard. My 2 boys like the whole nail polish thing and thankfully their dad’s are ok with it for the most part. I let my boys do that at home, but if we are going out anywhere it has to come off. They do make peel off nail polish for kids so idk if maybe you can talk to your husband about making it an at home thing only? My boys know they are boys and they know the difference between boys and girls but kids don’t judge others unless it’s taught. They don’t care if pink or purple is considered a “girl” color. They are just colors. I hope that you can find a way to open up the minds of your ex and husband. These are your kids and you should be able to raise them how you want.

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My sons 12 he still paints his nails . There is nothing wrong with it let the baby express himself . It doesn’t mean he will be different in life .

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Your son has a very difficult road ahead of him.
Regardless of whatever ends happening with his sexual preference or gender identity, which is the farthest thing from his mind right now, and I’m sure is what I’m sure the men in his life are concerned with, you have a little boy who loves color and pretty things, who is obviously being raised by men who don’t appreciate those things the same way he does, and you’re at a crossroads.
You can either protect him from having the colors in his world muted or rearranged to be more palatable for those men, or you can advocate for him and let him express himself how he sees fit.
Its just nail polish.
Its just makeup.
Its just pretend.
He’s just little.
Just let him be.

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My 3yo son enjoys having his nails painted too. I don’t think nailpolish is a guy girl thing. And as for makeup all actors wear makeup so I’d just be like future movie star in training :wink:

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Nope. Hes a boy. Not a girl.

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Let him do his toes.
My girls are 13 and 2, they’re not allowed polish on their fingers but can do whatever they want with their toes.
I feel like it’s a distraction, it is for me anyhow.
:heart:

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Sounds like you have issues. The problem is how you both are handling it.

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If it were me I would apologize to my son, admit you made a mistake in listening to others. tell him if it makes him happy we can do it and do it again. and be strong against the neigh sayers
What makes someone happy doesnt determine their gender

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Throw the whole husband away

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My lord he is 6. BIG DEAL!!! What would happen if he acted to dress like Superman? I mean, tights? On a boy? Oh the horror :roll_eyes:

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Um. First thats not his kid, and he has absolutely no right to act the way he did or say the things he did.
If i were you, for the sake of my kid and their mental health i would get the f out of the relationship. Growing up around statements like that will probably cause him to grow up acting the same way, making people feel the way he feels right now.
Paint the kids nails, let them be who they want to be, not who your husband (not even his real dad smh) wants him to be.

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Okay so I went through the same thing! Over the summer I got a new nail polish and my 4 year old son loved the color and wanted to have his nails painted. I did it cause it’s nail polish and can be removed and isn’t causing any harm. My husband got home (my sons adoptive father) and was so excited to show my husband how our nails matched. My husband was against it and we’ve had multiple discussions about it. Basically it came down to me saying it makes him happy and it’s not hurting anyone so he should be able to have nails painted if he wants to. Husband saying it’s for girls it’s for girls. Finally he admitted he was scared it would “make him gay”. I laughed and was like seriously you can’t make me anyone gay they are born gay and if he was so what? Would you be upset and not love him? He said no of course not and I said well painting nails shouldn’t matter then. And after that he hasn’t said anything if my son wants his nails painted. I’ve gotten similar reactions from my father and brother about how it will “make him gay” and that seems to be the general worry. I’d try really talking about it and figuring out what the problem is. Also I’m so sick of the double standard where it’s okay for girls to be tomboys and want to hunt/fish/ride atvs/get dirty ect and it’s not okay for boys to want to do things like paint nails or do skincare or pedicures.

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Uhhhh he’s not hurting anyone. Let that sweet baby have some nail polish!

My son wanted to since he was 6 or 7. I told him I was fine with it and supported him. But also told him that there are jerks out there that don’t think it’s ok and might say hurtful things to him. He made the decision to just have his toenails painted for quite some time and finally decided on his own that he was ready to have his finger nails painted and deal with it. He didn’t care what other people thought and I love that about him. Your child is looking at you for acceptance. Love him no matter what, you are his mom.

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Oh and side note, what else does this husband of yours DEMAND? Control issues? Bully?

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Nail polish doesn’t have a penis or vaginas as far as I can remember. It sounds like misogyny pointed at a little boy. What is so bad about doing what, typically, a woman would do. Are we weak? Evil? Disgusting creatures of the night? What is so bad about what we do it’s not good enough for men, even a little boy. Toxic masculinity causes men to be more likely to go through with suicide. Let him express himself it’s just paint, they’re just clothes, it’s just makeup. At the end of the day they all come off but the words you say to your babies stay. Beautiful gardens of nurture and love or scars of hatred and judgement. Choose.

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If my son wants to paint his nails, I’m letting him. I wouldn’t have taken the nail polish off. Maybe you should have a day together where you paint your nails and just spend time together :yellow_heart:

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It sounds like you accidentally attracted assholes for partners. Considering that both acted that way, and you are scared to stand up to them. I wish you luck. Your son is going to need you to find your strength to defend him.

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I would apologize to my son and repaint his nails

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He’s a young boy…it doesn’t necessarily mean anything. Did you know this is how your husband feels prior to choosing him to be your husband? Not that you did anything wrong, but…I can’t imagine he didn’t express his feelings ever until this moment.
As it stands your son is your priority and having a very real conversation with your husband is definitely something that needs to be done sooner rather than later.

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One repaint his nails 2 tell his step dad he has no rights to your son and your son can do what he wants

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Id tell my husband to miss me with that bullshit. Along with the bio dad. So sick of toxic shit from men and women alike. If your son enjoys painting HIS nails, he should have to go ahead to do so.

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My son would ask me to “color his nails too” when I did mine when he was young. And I did. Kids, especially young ones, don’t see wearing nail polish as feminine or the lack of wearing it as masculine. They see cool colors on fingertips and want those colors on their own fingers. It’s us adults that complicate such a simple situation.

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You are the parent. Yes he’s the step dad but you hold the control!

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Don’t let his assholyness dull your boys sparkle if he wants his nails painted… Never bow down to a bully…

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Umm… Nope. If my son wants his nails painted, they’re getting painted :woman_shrugging:
Nobody tells me about mine. They can go :woman_shrugging:

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You can make it up to him by getting them done together or you doing it for him

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I let my boys have their nails painted at the salon when I got mine done they all grew out of it in their own time. What you should have done is told you husband you don’t give a flying frog what he thinks, if nail polish on a small child threatens his idea of masculinity so much he needs to take a good hard look at him self. Your son will remember now that home is not the safe place for freedom and self expression like it should be. Nail polish does not determine how manly your little boy is or will be. You made a mistake in listening to your husbands toxic masculinity and you need to own up to that apologise to your son and have a big talk with your husband about not putting his views on your son as he has absolutely no right to do that.
Everyone makes mistakes in trying to keep the peace in our families but some things should not be compromised on like your sons freedom of expression and his safety net of knowing home is a place free of judgement.

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I wouldn’t want my son, if I had a son, painting his nails🤷🏻‍♀️ so I don’t disagree with your husband but I do disagree with how he handled it.

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I mean in the goth subculture everyone paints everything :woman_shrugging:t3:

You’re husband sounds homophobic and misogynistic.

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Repaint them and let him paint yours

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He was extremely out of line.
If your son wants his nails painted, let him. Your husband needs to get over his insecurities over it. Nail polish is not going to define anyone in anyway.
My sons three, loves his nails & toes painted. My other half(his dad) has helped paint his nails too, because its something that makes him happy.

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Nope if any of my kids…includes my kids, nieces nephew’s,“step” whatever…if the boys want to paint their nails I’m doing it …and it’s staying on

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Let them be young I have painted my sons nails so many times they are KIDS

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This breaks my heart!
My daughter & I were painting our nails last week, bright pink. Our 4 year old son was so intrigued & was next in line.
Us girls, with our already painted nails couldn’t help in that very moment.
My husband not only painted his toes,
but they’re still chipping & looking terrible.
He still loves it! :pleading_face:

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I have 2 boys, 17 and 14 and they’ve never had an interest in
painting their nails… I don’t think I would’ve encouraged it if they had. But my 14 yr old when he was younger thought it was the funniest thing to put panty hose on and high heels and also put a blonde wig on once… It was fun and hilarious but not an everyday thing…
Man the world is so different these days.
I’m sorry y’all but if I wanna be a unicorn, no matter how bad… I’m still a female human! And I think it’s wrong for everybody to say let “little junior” do and say what he pleases, he isn’t hurting anyone. Or they can be whatever they want… Really in reality you can’t just be whatever you want… you are who god made you to be. U can pretend, u can even have surgeries to change different things but at the end of the day, you are who you are and if were born a female, then you are a female even if u look like a man on the outside… there’s too many people trying to change everything in the world these days… Everybody offended by everything. It’s like we have no traditional morals or values anymore. :woman_shrugging:

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Paint them, paint them, paint them. You telling your son he can’t paint his nails because that’s only for girls is like me telling my daughter she can’t play video games because they are for boys. Screw the ‘social norm’ and let your kids be who they want to be.

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Like he’s allowed to have an opinion but this is just a lack of respect problem period. Fingernail polish doesn’t define your child’s sexuality. Live and let live.

I’d be having a serious conversation with my husband about boundaries and the proper way to state your opinion/thoughts/feelings. This is toxic.

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Hes young and he probably doesn’t know that alot of people think it’s just for girls… to him it might just literally be nail polish and that’s all it doesn’t have a meaning behind it. He just wants to wear it because other people do too… If he likes it he should be able to wear it. Its his body and his choice and id be so upset with my husband and make him apologize. That feeling is probably going to stay with him forever…

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Don’t allow them to pass on their hang ups to your son. It’s a fight that’s worth it.

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What about black. Or peel off paint. I would almost talk to the men about what happens when a child can’t express themselves at this age. It could just be a faze that if not allowed could lead to him being judgmental of himself for no reason.
I have a friend with a boy who’s dad was totally homophobic and he knew his dad was like that. He would use his sisters pink dishes and clothes just to make trouble. The boy is straight and the mom thought it was funny. Oh did the dad get mad :woman_shrugging:. In the end it really the boys decision and can Escalade into rebellion. Hugs. I don’t see an issue with the polish however society is seriously pushing cross gender so maybe talking to the dads about the outcome of his rebelling later regardless of his choices. Hugs. My brothers would dress up in my moms old tennis dress and wigs shooting ping pong guns at each other :roll_eyes: :woman_shrugging:. Each to their own they are both straight with kids. It means nothing they might be worried about.

Toxic father and father figure. That poor kid having his excitement crushed like that. Nail polish is literally just paint. And it made him happy. They should be ashamed of themselves.

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Bruh, they are just kids. My brother didn’t turn out gay just because he had his nails painted green as a little kid. It’s just like playing around. Let him have his nails painted. It’s okay.

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Sounds like you need to get rid of that husband.

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Your wrong for that, if your husband does not like it kick him to the curb…you just broke your kids heart.

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Thats horrible, I’d have a serious talk with him about things we will and will not say in front of the children.
There are no toys, cloths or makeup That should be gender specific.
If you look back even men of the past and definetly the present have had makeup or painted nails.
Regardless of that no one tell’s me to do a damn thing to my son, he will Wear it if he wants to. Poor kid, should have defended his right to wear whatever he wanted to as long as it was not inappropriate and not hurting anyone else.
You Absoulty can be whoever you want, those that force others to live by their standards are to much of scared to live the way they want because they don’t want to be judged.

Some of these comments kill me. I think you need to have an honest conversation with your husband about how you feel. Ugh I just wish I could give you a hug :purple_heart:

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Let that boy paint his nails if that’s what makes him happy. Kids don’t know any better.

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Poor kid… Paint that boys nails again 4 him. My son is 4 n when i do my nails he wants his done. N i do it.
U didnt stick up 4 him 2 a man that is not his real fatber?? Shane on u. Husband or not.
Im so sad 4 him

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This happened with my boy and my partner, we are now no longer together cos hes a cunt. But yes same thing, said how he should not have his nails painted because hes a boy. I took him into another room and told him if he ever spoke out of turn to my son again like that then he would be gone, and made him apologise to my boy

Matching tootsies with my 4 year old son. I was getting ready to paint mine and he asked if I could do his too. He picked the color because pink is my favorite! My husband saw no problem with it…I mean it’s just nail polish after all.

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Shit there’s a Tic Tok trendy right now alot of boys are painting there nail its like Gothic thing

Like you said just let him express himself. If there’s one thing we all want in life it’s to be our true authentic selves without being judged. He’s not hurting anybody and if it brings him joy then let him have it. I wouldn’t listen to your hubs. Not his body, not his choice.

So many men are like this. We can’t force our grown men to act like level headed openminded individuals. We can teach our young boys and young men that it’s ok to feel and be who they want and explain to them that older generations or different mindsets are just that, no need to give the negativity too much of our energy or spirit.

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let your son be his own person depending on his mentality I would try and explain to him about the world we all live in and that everyone has their own opinions which is good but they are no always nice. but as for your husband and his dad they should want him to be open and not hide what he wants to do if they make him feel like he can’t be himself it will not be good as he gets older. I have a 20 year old son and he played with dolls and he painted his nails and played with high heels and dresses and he is perfect still if they feel by him doing theses things he may be gay well they sad in my opinion as no matter I would and will love my children unconditional! I have a 3 year old daughter also and she does what others would say are for boys she plays with cars and dump trucks she has super hero capes and fire and police dress up as well as princess. I wish you the best and I hope your son dont feel he can’t be himself openly hes learning from his dads :heartpulse:

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I’ve seen several boys at my girl’s middle and high school with their nails painted. Sometimes it’s not just a girl thing. Most of those kids are skaters and the artsy ones.

Tell your child you made a mistake. Tell him you were happy he thought of you when he picked the color. Tell him that you did something wrong, you followed the crowd instead of following your heart and you are human and allowed to make mistakes, the main thing is that you learned from it and want to correct it. Tell him some people, no matter how much they love someone, sometimes don’t agree or understand someone else. Use it as a teaching moment. Tell him when you were little the world was different and things were labeled wrong. Let him know that times change. (You can even look for similar things about how times change ie: sears first tried to market the color pink for boys and blue for girls, and it worked for a while… or how names that were once "strong manly names are seen as names for both! And once curling hair was "just for girl but now boys do it too) you are a good mom. Stand up for your boy and let him know that its ok to be himself, and its ok to make mistakes as long as you learn from them

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He needs to get over it is did it all the time with my boys even die it to our red nose pitty

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Lord, they’re both wrong and insecure.

Who gives a F? My daughter painted my nephew’s nails a few weeks ago…no one cared.

When will people get that the sexual spectrum is wide and diverse? They’re are straight men that like to wear eye liner and polish and there are gay men that prefer neither. I just can’t with the ignorance.

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You husband is a moron. Dont be like him! Paint the kids nails and let the child he happy ffs
As if you even listened to him. Why is your child feelimg shitty for what your husband wants?

Exactly what Apryl Downs said!! My 3 yo boy gets his nails painted by his sister and we have no problem with it at all, everyone loves pretty colors, let that boy express himself and I would have a talk with your husband about his views, he needs to chill honestly.

I bought a sheer yellow nail polish that I painted my boys nails with. My boys saw me painting mine and always wanted theirs done too. If I was putting on make up they always wanted some too so I’d brush their face with a clean brush and put a light matte shade of eye shadow on their lids. Nothing too out there. It made them happy. My oldest is 19 and an aspiring drag queen. My other 3 are typical mud, trucks and sports boys. There’s nothing wrong with him wanting his nails painted. Its likely a phase he will out grow eventually. And if he doesn’t oh well. His father and your husband’s toxic masculinity will do more harm than good. Google the research. And show them the out comes of that kind of attitude. After you have addressed it with them sit your son down and explain things to him and let him know you made a mistake that you love him and he can paint his nails if he wants to. That is your child. Your husband needs to know his place.

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I painted my granddaughters pink last night shes 2… her 4 year old brother thought this was fun and picked purple glitter polish… guess who rocked purple glitter to prek today…

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Not his kid not his concern if you’re ok woth his nails being painted then paint them

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Let him express himself.

Nail polish can’t “make him gay” and if it could… so???

Let the boy be a boy (do whatever he wants as long as it doesn’t hurt others).

Your husband and ex sound like homophobic twats.

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Supporting our children contributes to their psychological well-being, so I would cut out that toxic masculinity crap your husband and ex are displaying ASAP.

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My problem is with the,
he DEMANDED we remove it :joy:
Like wtf, I would of laughed at him then told him where to go…
Fckkk thats a good one
he demanded Lmao :rofl::joy::laughing:

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I think your husband needs to understand that painting nails, makeup, toys, clothes, ect. does NOT have genitals so there isn’t such a thing as girly. It’s not gender specific. If my son wants to wear a bright pink tutu and lip stick, so be it🤷‍♀️ it’s what he wants and what will make him happy.

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first of all why is the teacher painting his nails and i agree with the men but it’s your son so you should speak to your husband and his real father about how you and your son feel

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This happened once with my stepson. His mom and I on the same page about it, my man however (his dad) told him no he could not paint his nails. Mind you he is literally twice my size, and I don’t ever question his parenting or authority… but this time I just couldn’t let it slide. So without hesitation I looked him dead in the face and said “yes he can.” Grabbed the nail polish he wanted and painted it right there in front of him. I then explained that “daddy thinks limiting you is doing you a favor but I know that forcing you to hide your interests is not going to help you in any way. Im sorry daddy is scared of a little color on your fingers. He’s just jealous.” His dad never said anything else about it, and was fully expecting him to bring it up later that evening but he didn’t.

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When my boys were little I’d let them play in make up and nail polish I’d roll their hair and ppl would tell me I was making my son’s gay well they’re grown now (29&30) and neither are gay! I believe all little boys are curious Abt girl stuff let him be him

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I would have lost my shit on both of them. Unleash your inner mama bear on them and stand up for your son

Tell your husband not to push his toxic masculinity onto your son, let him self express. If he wanna have his nails painted, let him! Raise your son to know that you don’t have to have a vagina to wear nail polish, make up, long hair etc

:roll_eyes: it’s not hurting anyone. If your husbands masculinity is threatened by a child’s fingernails, that’s his problem. Not yours and def not your son’s.

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That’s a red flag. You hold control you are his parent. Repaint his nails. We did my brothers as kids, he’s a great man now. Self expression. Both my son and step son liked to paint their nails.

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My son loved painting his nails as a little boy, so did all my nephews. My ex husband, his dad, was extremely against it and made it very clear. My son is now 15 and wears makeup, does his own nails and will never speak to his father again now that we’ve been divorced for 7 years. Let him be who he is, support whatever choices he makes in life and explain to the men in his life that no good will come from being negative about his self expression. Picture of my son :heart: whom I and my husband, his stepfather, are so proud of.

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Ancient warriors painted their nails before combat to instil fear among the enemy dating back to 3200BC… it’s not just for girls.

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I really can’t stand when people say shit like “this is for boys, this is for girls”. No. Children are children. Children need to express themselves. Children don’t look at the world this way because they are INNOCENT. Little girls playing with trucks, army guys, and getting dirty aren’t out thinking “wow this is such a boy thing to do”. Little boys aren’t wearing play dresses, painting their nails, and playing with dolls thinking “wow I’m so girly”. Parents instill these thoughts in them. That boy is YOUR SON. Yes this man is your husband but he doesn’t get to put your son down, and judge him for doing something that PEOPLE do everyday, and kids watch those things and want them to. I would tell both dad and step dad that he is expressing himself, and that if they don’t like it that they in fact don’t need to look or comment on the matter. But all that happened what that your son felt judged and was hurt by the words of a adult male in his life. If they are so worried about who he is going to be then maybe they should start being positive role models, and showing him how to be loving, accepting, understanding, and kind rather then demeaning him for doing something that they find girlie. As mom you need to say enough. You didn’t have to take the paint of his nails, you could have stood up and said “well that’s your opinion but WE think it’s awesome.

Stop hurting our future generation by doing the same things the generation before us did to us. Kids are kids, let them be kids. Teach them love, acceptance, kindness, honesty. Don’t worry about teaching them to be “manly” or “lady like”. I can guarantee that he would think twice if his daughter wanted a monster truck, or a football.

Let him play with it. Colors are pretty, they’re pleasing to the eye… why wouldn’t anyone want to feel beautiful? It won’t hurt him. Your husband can just pout and get over it. Punishing him or making him feel bad about it will cause more damage than some paint on his nails ever could.

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Ever think about explaining to the kid how god makes boys boys and girls girls for a reason .that’s what’s wrong with kids today not teaching them right from wrong. You should listen to your children but its the parents responsible to teach them right from wrong. If they know themselves.

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I agree with your husband and ex

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Teachers should not be painting a kids nails.

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Ew. Just ew. Nail polish is not hurting anyone. :triangular_flag_on_post:

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Every time my daughter paints her nails her two boys 4 and 2 line up to get their nails done.Your son is doing nothing wrong.Our grandsons are rough with each other but they play with car trucks,prams dolls.Your husband needs to get with the times ,things change.:blush:

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Lots of straight rockstars wear nail polish. Some even wear eyeliner. Nothing wrong with self expression

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