My husband has bad hygiene: Advice?

My husband is a very clean person, but some days when he is exhausted from work or life, overall he is just drained… I’ll surprise him with a nice epsom salt bath, candles, and camomile tea. Just to relax him, and help him reset. Life is stressful, things happen that can cause mental exhaustion along with physical exhaustion. It’s easy to let people judge and being judgey yourself. Maybe try to be more helpful and supportive. He might be suffering in silence and this could be his cry for help. I know if this was a man posting about his wife having PPD and her not showering everyone would light him up for judging and not being supportive enough or understanding. Showering only once a week is definitely unsanitary and needs to be handled for both parties involved. Sounds like he just needs some help, support, and love. But this is just my thoughts :woman_shrugging:

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A good massage does my man wonders!

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He sounds tired and depressed

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Sounds like he is depressed

Tell him he stinks, looks filthy, and to get his ass in the shower!

Only showers once a week oh fuk no :see_no_evil:the laziness I could handle as hes working so is going to be tired but please dunk him in a bath :nauseated_face:

Hmmm idk what to say about that, but idk why getting into bed being dirty is an option I couldn’t handle that

Sounds like he is depressed or just likes having knob cheese :nauseated_face:

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Yeah he sounds depressed… there shouldn’t be ONE night he comes to bed dirty after a day at work like that.

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Maybe he’s going through some depression, talk with him. Take a shower with him, make it sensual

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Growing up we were able to take a bath once a week. Sponge baths the rest of the time. My younger siblings got a bath every night. Maybe he was brought up this way too. Depression usually will result in medication. It isn’t anything to be shamed of. It addresses the lack of Seratone in the brain. My son works 12 hours a day but he always showers and that is how I raised him. A DR can diagnose ‘Depression’ and medication can help so much!! Maybe try getting him to see a DR for a check-up with blood work. My Dad was like your husband but he didn’t even do the once a week showers or bath. I wish you a happy solution for your husband

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Saying “it is just a man thing” is just as disgusting as the men not showering.
My partner is a dairy farmer and he showers EVERYDAY.
I couldn’t imagine dealing with the stink if he didn’t. I wouldn’t let him in the house

Sounds like hes depressed .hed not lazy at all working 10hr a day . For his family

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He is not depressed if he works 10 hrs a day. He’s just nasty and you need to tell him that

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Please tell me you don’t have sex with this man?:face_vomiting: walking disease​:grimacing::joy:

That screams depression to me

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This sounds like an underlying problem. Usually depression. I would speak to him and see how he feels. X

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Surprise him outside the home with the hose when he comes home from work and spray him down.:joy: But in all seriousness, it does sound like depression. He might need to talk to a doctor.

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Hey dear advice I can give, is he is going through a lot, you just don’t know it, if he’s the only one working it’s probably taking a toll on him even if he’s not the only
One working, 10 hour shifts are long and hard, if he comes home just to be met with you look gross? Why do you never shower, I’m embarrassed to be in public with you? Or my sexual interest is 0, He probably figures why should I bother I’m not good enough. Step back and relize you may be a toxic partner effecting him. Hear me out, cook him dinner for when he gets home, smile and make him feel loved regardless of how dirty he is, get us favourite drink, bring him to the shower or if he likes baths have a bath with him, or shower with him, take the extra time to wash his hair, wash him down, rub his shoulders, massage his head in the shower, tell him you love him and how much you appreciate him, and exkowledge you may be hard on him lately. Tell him your always there for him, that he can talk to you about anything and you noticed things going on, give him a hug. Brush his hair and massage his back when he gets out and tell him you love him and appreciate him dearly. You be suprised how doing this 2 times a month can completely change a man. Want to know why? BecUse men are the ones who emotionally get left behind half the time. Stress eats at them, they feel worthless too, they have bad weeks days months, but your husband wife and you need to step up when he can’t and be there for him when he’s down. You married him regardless, and it is time to be the wife he needs right now when he’s going through it not someone who doesn’t listen to his cries for help. When I did this with my husband instead of meeting him with remarks and comments he completely
Changed. And he now tells me how much it means to him when I take my time to rub his sore work hands or wash his hair in the shower, or pour him a nice bath. Guys like being taken care of too. And I think people forget how much you actually need someone when your going through a ruff spot. So be the pick me up your husband needs. Get him to a doctor also as depression can be managed with therapy or pills. I have lived through what you explained and men get depression too, also toxicity can make it even worse. Be careful what you say to your partner.

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Why don’t you ask him to shower with you when he gets home?

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Ask him to join you in the shower? It’s good for the relationship, it’s intimate but not sexual, I think it’s a good way to bond.

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Depression would be my number one guess with what you’ve told me.

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Sounds like he might be depressed

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That nasty ass would be sleeping in the garage. I hope you aren’t having sex with his nasty ass you could get anything from him. Why is he so nasty. It sounds like he’s more lazy than depressed. What does his co-workers think about his nasty self and doesn’t he smell himself, body oder is a very foul odor.

Maybe tell him to get in the shower with you :woman_shrugging::woman_shrugging::woman_shrugging:

Sounds like he is somewhat depressed. Talk to him again. Don’t shout or demand. Tell him you are there for him if something is bothering him. Make it fun and suggest
Ya’ll shower togeather. I think counselling would be good, singel or couples also. Give him a reason to come home . You did not say if you work too and if you have children. I think he is stuck at a place in his life right now that he does not like either but mentally can’t figure out what to do. He needs your help and love. I hope ya’ll work it out. Too many people throw in the towel now days and don’t try to for their relationships. Let him vent and try to help. Praying for ya’ll. My husband and I had plenty of ups and downs, arguements, etc but we were togeather for 42 years at which time he passed away. :pray:t2::pray:t2::heart::heart:

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Sit down with him and talk about how he is mentally emotionally and physically feeling. Ask him if there is anything stressing him out or if he is feeling just off. If he is the only person employed, free stress of being a working dad/husband is enough to throw him over especially coming home to help with the kids and you. He sounds like he’s going through a depression and he needs your help to be motivated to shower, brush his teeth, eat, relax and possibly take a couple days off of work if he is able too. Also some things I know that can help is maybe go start him his shower as soon as he gets home and tell him to go shower the day off, have all his things he uses to shower with ready if possible and lay out his comfortable clothes. If that doesn’t motivate him much ask him to join you then and you can help him clean up such as wash his hair, back, chest, etc. Definitely try to step up to be his peace if something is bothering him. This will take some time and if you’re already doing it, then you’re off to a good start just keep trying. If you see no improvement or very little at the least, maybe convince him to go see a counselor or doctor to talk. Try not to get mad or upset which is easier said then done. But definitely just try to be there for him. He just seems exhausted with life like everyone else. But you are seeking advice and that is a great first step into helping him out. Good luck.

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Some people just don’t shower much…I know someone who only showers once or twice a week due to they just can’t be bothered. :roll_eyes::woman_facepalming:
When I mention they should shower more they just laugh and say oh well I’ll shower when I can be bothered. :flushed:
Let’s remember not everything is due to being depressed, some people are just to lazy to shower or only like to shower once or twice a week.:tipping_hand_woman:
Some people just don’t care if they smell or what others think.:woman_shrugging:

Laughing faces towards depression… says alot about some people :roll_eyes: Then people sit and wonder why people dont/can’t reach out for help! let’s just hope and pray for the ones that think its funny it never reaches your doorstep.

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Kim N Rod Richardson what’s so funny?

Maybe ask him if he wants to take a shower with you

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Ask him to take a bath or shower with you… And you can help him clean up. It can be a soul cleansing if he is willing to do it.

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Go tell that man to wash his ass cause he stinks :joy:

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He only showers once a week or once a day?

Just tell him he smells and looks dirty. U nor anyone else want to be around him.

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Just tell him. Maybe he can’t smell it. Get him some new soaps.

Maybe he is depressed? Maybe he isn’t feeling like himself ? Talk to him

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Maybe he’s depressed?

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Sounds like depression …

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Tell him he stinks :woman_shrugging:t3:

Maybe he just doesn’t feel like it after working for 10 hours a day he’s tired

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Oh baby. He is depressed😔 maybe he doesn’t know it. Or doesn’t want to talk about it. But that is a huge sign 🪧

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maybe he’s exhausted or depressed. maybe he feels he has to work so much to make sure your family has what it needs. talk to him.

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Is he depressed because I know I have a problem motivating myself to shower when I’m in a bad depression episode

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Sounds like he is depressed…poor guy.

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He would be nowhere near my bed or furniture looking and smelling like that :onion::poop::skunk:

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Throw the whole man out and start over. Or if you’re asking him to shower and he isn’t start waiting outside with the hose and spraying him down when he gets home :woman_shrugging:t2:

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That’s a deal breaker for me.

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Oh no no no. I wouldn’t let him sleep in the bed

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Start his shower and hand him a towel.

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These comments are completely rude . :sob:

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Take showers together or run a bath for him when he gets home :relaxed:

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You lost me at …‘once a week’

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Sounds like a deep depression.

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He needs to see a doctor. This sounds like depression and part of the “In sickness and in health” part. Good luck. Depression is a horrible thing.

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How long ago did it start…could potentially be a deeper issue going on with his mental health. Could he possibly be extremely depressed and this is how it’s coming out. One of the signs of clinical depression is losing the desire energy or will power to properly care for yourself. Hence the Bad hygiene…

I can’t process this.

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I bet he thinks just getting up n going to work every day is a chore, so I can only imagine anything extra. If it is depression. When you feel depressed its a totally different ballgame.

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Is there something you did ?.. Maybe he doesn’t shower because he doesn’t wanna gave sex with you ? Idk … or like everyone else said . He’s probably depressed

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He might be depressed if he wasn’t like that in the past

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Make subtle suggestions and options as well as just talk to him.

You’ve told him how it’s made you feel but did you ever think to ask him what may be going on with him for him to just let himself go like that? Maybe it’s depression or something else.

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He may be giving you an unspoken thought…“I want out of this marriage!” That’s the extreme I had to do to get out of mine…#perspectives

Wtf??? That’s disgusting.

And for those saying the comments are rude I’m sorry sometimes the truth hurts and as far as saying “depression” geez I’ve been depressed but not so much that I don’t want to take a bath for a week​:nauseated_face::nauseated_face:

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Sounds like he’s depressed af, I used to do this shit to my ex in the hope he’d leave me.

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When he is outside minding his business. Girl your throw some dawn soap on him and you get that dam water hose. If he runs you run! You wash his clothes and bath him at the same time. Killing two birds with one stone. Lock him out and put up the keys! Leaving a clean pair of clothes outside. You’re welcome follow me for more great advice.

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Omg, he needs to see a doctor

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Is he depressed? My brother had the same issue. Talk to him gently at a time where he will be receptive. He probably just works hard and is exhausted at the end of the day… only to get up and get dirty again. I come home from a hard day and the first thing I do is knock the dust off from the day, maybe he hasn’t acquired a socially acceptable routine that he likes. His health is also a factor, I hope he brushes his teeth and changes his underwater every day despite the non showering. Be gentle, I can only imagine if my husband told me I smell. Best of luck… keep us posted

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Especially if this wasn’t an issue in the beginning of the relationship then it sounds like he may be going through depression or some other mental health issues, try talking to him and be honest and tell him you’re concerned and why. Then game plan and go from there, but make sure he knows your on his side and want to help.

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Wow, totally gross, I could NOT handle it. Run a bath for him when he gets home, scrub him, wash the smell away. If he continues with the disgusting behaviour then he needs help.

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Check his mental health assp

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Depression, talk to him. Be there for him. Run him some bath water and offer to bathe him if he is tired and sore…

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What about a call to the family doctor? Because this could lead to some health issues.

I would say he’s prob depressed. Handle with care

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It sounds like depression. I’m an extremely clean person but when my depression kicks in I really struggle with something as simple as a shower. How long has it been going on?

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Please talk to him, he sounds depressed🥺

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Have you asked him if he’s depressed…sounds like it.

He’s probably just tired From working and feels like he already has you and doesn’t need to truly try to impress anymore. I agree he may be a little depressed or he’s not interested in having sex with you that he keeps himself this way on purpose.

Sounds like he has depression.

Offer to take a shower with him! I’m just saying…:wink:

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Get him to shower with you…

Sounds like you just have some shallow friends

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He could be depressed. Talk to him.

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Men get depressed to. Men just aren’t OUR rocks, we’re there’s too. :woman_shrugging: Figure out what’s going on with your man sis. If he’s never been like this in 4 years, obviously somethings wrong with him. Doesn’t take a sciencest to figure that out.

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Drugs, depression can lead to lack of self care. Talk to him. Mention this bothers you. Suggest him to go shower as soon as he gets home. Make an apt with a barber for him and tell him about it after lol give him knowlage how you feel.

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I’d be concerned with his mental health and approach it that way. Ugh that’s so difficult and I’m so very sorry. Something is going on with him for sure

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I went through that with my husband of twenty yrs. finally left him I couldn’t take it anymore. There was more then that but it played a part

Definitely sounds like depression. Please gently approach him about getting help.

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My husband has lost a few family members recently and has become depressed and does the same thing. He will smell so bad and be so dirty so I’ll bribe him with a back or foot massage if he will shower lol

I straight up tell my husband when he smells. Our son does too… he knows to go shower we don’t wanna smell him all gross.

I would worry about mental health… men have a Harder time expressing it and a significant change in this could reflect an issue with mental health… I think you need to have a conversation and see what you two can come up with… or find someone he trusts to talk to him… this is extremely important!

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Sounds like depression to me, maybe instead of asking FB opinion, ask him if he’s okay mentally.

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I wouldn’t be embarrassed I’d be concerned. Sounds like depression.

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Encourage self care,buy him new bath stuff for relaxation,run him a daily bath,offer to help ,offer it as a method to soothe his tired body,or even just talk to him about it non-confrontationally . Depression and work fatigue likely are wearing him down and maybe he needs even 1 extra day off or to change his schedule up every couple of weeks.I do occationally shift my schedule and rework my days for additional days off due to minimum of 9hr days 6 days a week. I still find time to shower but some days are hard when exhausted.

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Hes probably severely depressed

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I second the shower with him option, also not bathing is a sign of depression. You should try talking to him, make sure he’s ok. Long hours for a numerous amount of days takes a toll on a person

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It’s depression most likely

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Is it him just being lazy? Everyone quick to go the depression route, but sometimes it just be being lazy. What reason does he say he shower 1 time a week?.

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First of all, your friends are scummy for being more concerned about being shallow instead of being rightfully concerned about his mental health. He may be severely depressed and not know or not know how to express it and this is a symptom of that. That kind of work schedule can be really taxing.

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