I’ve been with my husband for 11 years, and only 4 of them married. I’ve known him since elementary school Nd. We have always been great friends. As we got older, we became best friends. We have two beautiful daughters together and another baby on the way any day now. He has been acting strange since August, at least when I started to notice. In August he told me he didn’t know what he wanted with his life and us. He then apologized and said he needed to fix himself and get help, and he wasn’t going to give up on his family and us. Also, I’ve been hormonal and jealous of a co-worker that I feel he’s gotten emotionally attached. I have also asked him for more help than I used to. In November, he took me out on a date before our anniversary and then announced on thanksgiving he wanted a divorce and wasn’t in love with me. Idk what to think and how to handle this. This is all a big shock to me and both our families. Anyone that knows him seems to think he’s depressed or maybe midlife crisis. He hasn’t responded well to his mom, and he hasn’t responded well to friends who have been there for him. He also told our 9 yr old that we were separating, which crushed me. Christmas was also very hard on us all. He has also done jew things that he’s never done. He’s been going out randomly and comes home late. I don’t want to believe that he has been seeing someone, but again I feel like he is someone different that I do not know. I know the stress from his new position at work doesn’t help, and our finances haven’t been the best. I just want my loving husband and best friend back. Has anyone gone through this where you know he’s a good man, but something snapped and how did you handle it? Did things get better?
I hope hes not cheating on you
He see someone else…
Girl, he’s seeing someone else, he’s emotionally attached to a coworker and taking you on a rollercoaster ride you did not sign up for. Take control back.
I mean, he said he wanted a divorce and yall are separated…if yall are gonna live together, you’re going to have to learn to deal with it. Or he needs to leave. He’s broken up with you, and it’s time to leave it be since he’s obviously not interested in fixing it.
Leave he’s definitely with someone else and you deserve better sometimes people grow apart it’s best to let him go hes already stated what he wants so why are you holding onto something that is no longer there I know you are shocked and in disbelief but its time to just worry about you and your children hugs
He told you what he wanted. Now you need to get legal counsel. TOMORROW
You don’t give enough details about the coworker for me to say he’s most likely having an affair but that’s what it sounds like. It’s possible he could be depressed, there’s more than one reason for staying out late but if you have a feeling, trust it. Your gut is almost never wrong.
The worst part if this story is you are pregnant which makes your emotions more intense. I would not leave my home my children’s home. I would see an attorney asap and get advice for parenting plan and child support.
Leave now , trust me . Been there … don’t hold on
Doesn’t matter if he is seeing someone else. He outright broke it off with you and trying to hold him back with you against his will? What he said needs to be heard not stuffed off. Its smart to support the kids regarding a split but that needs to be a unified front so get on board. Then figure out living arrangements as you split so theres no curveballs with a new baby involved.
Sorry gal but he never sowed his oats and now he wants to. He’ll get out there, realize that he wasn’t missing much, and want to come back. You are strong enough to forgive if you want to but you definitely do not have to. Decide.
This seems to be becoming the norm in our society, men get bored with their lives, and they always seem to find another woman to bring excitement back to their lives. So I know everyone on here is commenting the cold hard truth, and are being a bit insensitive about it, but they are correct. You need to go ahead and wrap the idea around your head that he is already cheating on you and is no longer putting your needs as a priority in his life. So you need to ask yourself what you need to do that is best for you and your children, without him in your life! Plan it out now! Make sure you get child support figured out! Plan your lawyer visit! Do you want him to move out or yourself? Do you have family that can help? Hurry and get all of your ducks in a row, and then confront him!
It really sounds like he’s having an affair, I’m so sorry!
Also, it isn’t really cheating if he’s asked for a divorce 
If he told you he wanted a divorce and told your kid you’re separated sounds like you have all the info you need! It sucks and it hurts but sounds like he has already went thru the stages of moving on and now it’s your turn. Wishing you and your kids the best
Even the people you’ve loved the longest can do the most heart shattering things. My uncles gf of 13 years who he has 2 kids with, cheated on him 2 months before their wedding date, he caught her kissing his close cousin that my uncles considered brothers growing up because they were all so close, now none of us even speak to that side of the family and that bitch is still with our cousin who has no job, no vehicle, and still lives at his parents place. People do stupid shit and you can’t do anything but say fuck it and let them be even if it destroys you to do so.
Just went through this myself. He wasn’t cheating. He was going through an internal crisis of sorts. Everyone told me he was cheating but they don’t know my husband like I do. Although he never told me he wasn’t in love with me anymore, that’s the only significant difference between your story and mine. I did, however, lash out at him in the attempt to get a reaction and told HIM I wasn’t in love but things couldn’t have been further from the truth. I know this site is meant for people to ask questions but just be careful and be warned that for people who don’t REALLY know you and your husband it looks like he is just cheating and you will hear a whole lot of people trying to say just that. Also know this: the truth will all come out at some point. If he was cheating and doesn’t love you then why wouldn’t he just say he wants to see someone else when he told you he wanted a divorce?
Sounds like a midlife crisis. Dont give up, you guys can work through this!
If he wants a divorce then he needs to get out.
If he decides to come back, run the other way! I hope you have a healthy and safe delivery
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. My parents were together for 25 years and my dad kind of started acting the same way. Moved out suddenly and started dating a younger woman. My mom was crushed!!! 6 years later she reconnected with an old high school flame and is the happiest she’s been in a very long time! Good luck to you!
You’re not hormonal or needy, something IS up wether it is with that coworker or just within himself. Trust ur gut. Especially when he says he wants a divorce etc. His behavior says it all. Maybe some marriage counseling for the two of you and individual sessions as well will help. I would definitely do counseling before making any decisions
Reality will sink in for him eventually.
You will have to treat it as a death in the family…sorry for your hurt and I hope you heal enough to hide all this from your children. It is best to separate his depression from them. Also let him know that he needs to be more sensitive to his daughters needs. This will feel like a big rejection for them and can cause lasting daddy issues and they will seek out negative attention from other men. I feel your betrayal and hurt, seek out counseling if u are able. This is alot to deal with.
Been there, done that. Stay til your baby is old enough so you can work and end amicably. We all have the right to change our minds about a partner, and you have nothing to do with his decisions. it’s better for your kids to have two loving parents instead of a bitter pair who stays together for no reason. Move on and be Happy.
What it sounds like is he is having an affair or at least considering it. Anytime a person suddenly wants to move on, most likely they have already done it and dont want to admit it. Praying for you and yours
It certainly seems like he is having an affair. I would seek legal council very quickly. Stay in your home with your children and soon to be new child. And I’d suggest to your husband that he should stay with his parents or a friend… or where ever… not that you want to take a ruthless route. But you need to look after you and tour kids.
I’m sorry you are going through this. Being pregnant would make it extra emotional and stressful. Take care of yourself and children… your husband has obviously checked out. Wether he is cheating or not.
Seek legal advice As Soon As Possible.
Why would you want anyone who would walk away at a time like this. You are pregnant for goodness sakes. Shame on him. When someone tells you they want out. Believe it!
… Coming from someone who was in your shoes in 2018 - if you have a joint account, cash - out - now.
This sounds like he is going threw change of life. I am assuming he is 45 to 50. Have you thought about counseling some places have a sliding scale to what you could afford. Sounds like he is confused !! Has a lot on his plate children already and then one on the way. Also a job that is stressful. You have to much on your plate also . Maybe counseling would help. You do not need to stay in limbo not knowing which direction to go. Bless your heart so sorry to hear all if this.You take care of yourself!!
What on earth is Jew things ? You try and stay calm and come up with a workable plan. The children love both of you . I not display any thing in front of them. Stay strong Prayers for the two of you
This sound like a mirror of what my life was like last year with my fiancé. The change in behaviour, the telling me he didn’t feel the same about me anymore, new promotion at work, staying out late…I found out after 3 months of this behaviour that he had a girlfriend. I’m so sorry, but what you’ve written could literally be my life…I hope for you and your family it’s not an affair, but it’s a strong possibility x
I’m sorry to say it, but if he’s said he wants a divorce and is telling people you’re separating, then you’re separated. If he wants to date someone, then he can. It sucks if you’re all living in the same house, but it sounds like he’s checked out of the relationship. Sounds like he needs to find somewhere else to live to make it easier on you and the children.
Suggest he goes to therapy and you both go to couples therapy
When he moves in with the new homewrecker make sure you drop off all 3 kids as much as possible… do not be the parent who tries to punish the husband with not seeing his kids… Force that sh*t. That homewrecker will leave him asap. Believe me, she knows you exist and doesn’t give a damn.
Sounds like he left a long time ago
I heard a saying once, “your head is stupid and your heart is deceiving, but your gut will never lie.” Listen to your gut, always.
So sorry for this, especially with another little on the way, but you deserve someone who will totally invest their life into you. Let that person be the one to set the example to your daughters on how to be treated, or be alone and at peace. Either situation is better than what you’re going through now.
Sounds like another person involved in your business! Pray to God he will help you what goes around comes around!
Sorry to tell you but he’s probably cheating and wants to go to the other so just let him go. Don’t fight because you will be just hurting your self and the kids. Divorce him and move on like he did
He’s most likely having an affair. Most men are not going to end a relationship unless there is already someone there waiting for them. His actions are telling you, you just have to watch and listen.
Document everything he says …Keep records of his time.Check his phone,go to bank transfer all money asp…if he’s cheating don’t let him off free…He knocks her up will you get child payment…think smart for you and your kids…
I heard that line before
He’s got somebody else
He’s cheating. Get out. You deserve better.
Trust your instincts, ALWAYS. I have for several years now, about everything in my life. From your story, I have gathered that it sounds like he’s been having s relationship with this woman for probably close to a year or more now. If he had feelings for her in August, that means they have had sex, a lot, dated and actually bonded and that takes a little time. He is trying to tell you but since he is a “good man” at heart, he doesn’t want to completely crush you and leave right away. He doesn’t want to leave y’all high and dry but he can’t stay away from her. If y’all have been together and known each other so long, he may have fallen out of love with you but knows he has responsibilities. Listen to him. You don’t want to hear it but he’s telling you he wants out and he’s in love with another woman. The best thing you can do is get that baby out, take care of your children, take care of yourself, and try to move on. He may realize what he’s missing when he’s gone but kick him out. Don’t make his life hell afterwards. Let him see the children, don’t fall apart, fix yourself up and let him see what he’s missing. Once he sees you’re ok, you are working out, dressing, doing your hair, nails and makeup and don’t need him, he’ll most likely want to come back but if not, at least you’ll have that satisfaction.
No reason for anti semitism. “Jew things”???
Leave that cheating mf before you and your children get even more hurt.
He may regret it a few years from now but I don’t know if you should stick around and wait.
Could be a phase. Seems he may be depressed with something or not happy. Maybe feels his life has become routine. It happens, even with women at times. Not sure how old he is but that could be it. I wouldnt doubt that he may be flirting with someone or possibly seeing someone. I wouldnt automatically accuse or assume he’s cheating. Give him space and focus on you and the kids. Keep your guard up for sure. But know this is something you cannot “fix” nor your responsibility to.
I would honestly just give him his space and the space maybe good for you as well. Sit down and talk with him at first. Tell him you want him to be happy and if he feels like he would be happier in a different “place” then he can go and take his time. Love him unconditionally and be there for him, but still give him some space. If he is truly depressed and this isn’t just a midlife crisis I would continue to offer him your support. But I for one will not push my spouse to stay with me. It’s not worth it to beg someone to be apart of my life that doesn’t want to be.
All the red flags are there. I would probably do some investigating if I were you. Usually our gut intuition is always right!!
First of all, never beg for someone to stay in your life. They don’t deserve you. Why would you want somebody to stay in your life that doesn’t want to be to be apart of your life. I know it’s hard, but you have to find away to let go of him.
Therapy. But he has to want to put in the work just as much as you do.
My husband gave up on everything a few years ago. We were together 13 years. One day he just… changed. No more loving bestfriend.
Remember that you are worth it. It doesn’t matter what is going on. If he doesnt think that you are worth it there is nothing you can do to fix it. If he is done and wont try, let him go. You are worth the fight. You are worth fighting for. If he won’t then fight for yourself.
I think you are making too many excuses for him! Trust your gut, you already know what is going on.
My thoughts are just thoughts, but from experience to something similar it sounds like he cheated, felt guilty, instead of admitting it, asked for a divorce/separation, and that’s where you are at. Yes it can change with marriage counseling if you have two willing parties, but I’d let go. Hanging on to someone who isn’t there hurts more than letting go. Some people say they want marriage and a family but when they have it, they don’t want it. Nothing you can do, it’s not your fault… people change and sometimes not for the better. Don’t blame yourself. Focus on you and you little ones. Focus on what is best for you and them.
He announced on thanksgiving he wanted a divorce and wasn’t in love with you.
I don’t know what you want people’s opinions on.
You need to face what he is saying to you.
Best of luck for your future 
Sounds like your husband is with someone else while with you. Just be careful. This sounds kinda like the Chris Watts ordeal where he had a secret work girlfriend. I would just leave him and file for divorce.
If he told you he wanted a divorce and didnt love you now he is going out and coming home late he is seeing someone else.
In my opinion he is seeing someone. A women’s intuition is always right. He’s been acting off because he’s confused and doesn’t know which road to take. I am sorry if this turns out to be true 
i know it’s easier said than done but ask him to leave and focus on you and your children.
If he’s already told you he doesn’t love you and wants a divorce and has told your child and doesn’t want friends and family butting in, it’s clear he has moved on… while you’re acting like this is your husband who is cheating, to him he’s moved on already to someone he was probably with for a while now. Just let him go and save yourself more heartache. Be a good example for your child. Wish you only the best. I’m so sorry.
You usually need to be separated for some time before a divorce. He sounds like he has left his marriage already. Trying to hold onto someone who has already checked out will just make things worse. Ask him out right what is going on. Only he knows.
I think he’s going through some kind of midlife crisis and messing around with someone, it probably makes him feel good that he is still desirable to a nother woman, happened to me after 19 years of marriage, he left us but he told me that when he got a certain age and this younger woman made a pass for him, he went for it because it made him feel desirable again, we got divorced but he always regretted what he did, just trust your instincts, but it sure points to him having his mind on someone else
Oh! Make sure that baby has your last name not his. He wants a divorce, while you were pregnant, so he doesn’t need to be in the delivery room and he for sure doesn’t have to have naming rights!!!
Babe it’s time to leave
Count yourself blessed because there are countless, who endure/endured it and stayed and reasoned and felt worthless after the fact. Run,…dont walk…heal yourself and understand life gave you a freebie.
If he makes you think YOUR the crazy one, that’s gaslighting and if he uses your pregnancy and hormones as an excuse, that’s gaslighting!!! I know 100% that it’s easy to say “leave and don’t look back” but you have little kids with one on the way. But, you need to go as soon as you are able!! 
Stay strong for your babes momma, your daughters are watching and learning how to be treated. 
Peace and Love to you and your family!
He’s cheating. Sorry. Happened to me. Your story sounds eerily similar.
Honestly, my best friend is a male who is married. Hes going through the same things. Hes not happy at home anymore hasnt been for a long time. His wife was never happy and always nagging at him about money, and the kids, and etc. He has done everything to try to make her happy. They have 3 kids together. He started getting really stressed out from work, coming home having to cook and clean up after a long days work. He also does the disciplining. He also does side work to bring in more money.The wife would deny him sex and he would start drinking more and in depression and would sleep on the couch. They too have been married for about 15 yrs. Ge stepped of their marriage on and off for 9 years. Has a baby by the woman he stepped out with. And she recently found out about it after all this time. He was tired of being unappreciated, over worked, dragged down, and just not happy anymore but he continued to stay because he loves his kids and he does love his wife and now that she found out about the baby, shes angry, and making him walk egg shells around her. Shes having him do some crazy things and making him think that if he does these things that they can continue their marriage. Shes trying to keep him from his baby. The weird part of it is, the girl he stepped out with didnt even want sex from him, it was meaningless sex, it was just to make him feel better because he would fix her car, mow her lawn and in return he would rather have sex than money. So go back to when all of the changes started, look back to anything that you argue about, analyze your marriage. Yes its wrong for this to be happening but it sounds as though theres no real communication going on. He may be exhausted from having to do everything. Maybe hes had enough. Maybe it was too much for him with all tye responsibilities. And also think about how you treat him. What have you had to offer in the marriage? Are you nagging? Are you denying him sex? Have you let yourself go and maybe he may think hes not attracted to you anymore, maybe you havent appreciated him at times. Atleast he was being honest with you. He says he needs to work on himself. Being in a relationship is a lot of hard work and responsibilities, its a big commitment, especially dealing with kids, and financial issues. Its all depressing. Im not blaming you entirely for what you are going through, and men dont like talking about real issues and communicating. They bottle it up inside and step out when times are really tough. He was be feeling really low. But it does sound like he is cheating. Talk it out, go to a counselor before it ends completely. I wish u the best
Sadly this sounds like my story… my ex and I were together from 18 to 45…after 10 years together we had 2 boys…ten years later we had another son… 7 years after that I found out he had been sleeping with our baby sitters bf for 7 years! It started when I was pregnant with my youngest son… he’s probably cheating… I’m so sorry for your pain… I only wish I had known & gotten out sooner & saved myself and my children a lot of pain & confusion…
Men don’t usually divorce. They usually cheat and keep their wife. If he’s asking for a divorce, he may be in love with someone else.
I was the person doing those things. I would work as much as possible, I told him to his face that I was miserable and didn’t know if I could be happy in our relationship because of the way he made me feel. We had years of the same “I need this from you” conversations and I couldn’t get through to him how important it was. I went to therapy to try to get myself to be happy in my marriage and it just showed me how much I had lost myself in the pursuit of making him happy. If he said to you and your entire family that he is done, he is. It had to be really hard for him to talk to your daughter. You need to start the process of moving on and healing. If he is willing to talk to you about what went wrong in his eyes, it may give you insight for the future since you thought you both were happy and you were not, but it isn’t going to change his mind unless he wants it to. I’m sorry. It’s not easy breaking up a family. But sometimes people don’t grow together.
Cheating … well obvious
Girl!! You’re asking for advice when clearly he wants out and it’s done and has been cheating!!
Have you thought about being on drugs
Social Media is destroying ALL RELATIONSHIPS
been married 25 years and I bought a house around the corner 4 years ago… can’t live together because of the jealousy and phone use… too much to go over but MYSPACE, Facebook and all other outlets destroyed us … we are slowly getting back but it’s like all things… both need to be at fault and find the way back
This is what my ex husband did to me. Found out he was cheating.
I’d kick his ass out honestly. You’re the pregnant one and taking care of the kids while he’s going out late. He wants a divorce then why the hell is he still there? You deserve better! Sorry hun
He doesn’t know who to choose… you’re woman instincts seem to be right… he’s thinking that someone new will make him feel better… im sorry you’re going through this.
He is depressed. You need to sit down with him and get help for him and the 2 of you. He’ll have to be on board with getting help for you ad a couple, as well as himself. You’ve just described my ex husband and the last fee years of our marriage. 2 affairs and I was the one who ended it. I was tired of fighting for us. He wad not happy and I couldn’t make him or myself happy with him anymore. I was happier after and so much happier now, my kids too the best part I have a new guy who is more than I could have ever hoped for. The end of something does not mean the end of everything. It means the chapter is over and the next one is starting but the story is not over.
Maybe you should talk to him and her since she works with him do some of your own investigation I would just to know if that’s exactly what’s going on sorry this is happening to you be strong
How fucking sad 
what a dam idiot making another baby with you and then wants to divorce you? You have kids there is no time to be confused about what he wants. I’d file for a divorce and start the process of being on your own. My heart hurts for you and your kids. Also my daughters dad was pulling this shit. Turns out he was a liar and being unfaithful to us.
Also my dad used to have a saying to me. Quit crying and get angry
This sounds similar to the Chris and Shannon Watts situation. Get you and your kids out of that situation before it turns into something toxic to you and the kids. Sounds like he’s being honest and you need to respect that and let go.
The day my husband tells our son we are separating is the same day I kick his ass out. You never involve your children in your mess, then to announce a divorce. Give him one!
You want to know how do you handle it? You sign the divorce papers (which he told you he wants) and move on.
There’s really not anything else to say.
He doesn’t care about you and your kids.
He’s shown that over and over. How many more times are you going to give him to show that again.
Walk.
Hes met someone else… all obvious signs.
Seek couples therapy. Quickly. Work through this, it sounds like you have a chance.
Omg the man is cheating take the blinders off
Once he goes “out the door” he’s gone…make your plan and throw his cheating ass out, you deserve better
Things will never get better or be the same. What a looser. Throw his ass out and go on with your life
I don’t think feelings change that suddenly with nothing happening. In my opinion sounds like he either has someone else or has got some kind of addiction. He is definitely hiding something from you… I would try to figure out what but until he’s ready to be honest and try to fix things not much you can do. Find yourself some support and do what’s best for you and your kids.
Omg I’m going thru this now if you need to talk…pm me
She’s obviously already hurting enough. Yes, she may have trouble gripping the reality that her husband wants a divorce and is possibly having a affair but that doesn’t mean this process won’t be hard on her… She also has her kids to think about. Some of these comments are just so insensitive. There’s a better way to talk to people!
I’m so sorry everyone on this page is being judgemental and insensitive. Not cool. It is NOT a hypothetical situation you women are talking about. IT’S HER LIFE! CALM DOWN. Listen sweetie, I would say it could be depression driving him to someone else, or whatever the case I am sorry he is not putting you first anymore. You absolutely can work on this, turn it around and get your best friend back, AS LONG AS he will work WITH you and meet you halfway. No matter how badly you want the way it was, it’s changed. I am so sorry and will keep you and your kids in my prayers. Pray about it. For guidance. For strength. Do not let this situation make you feel like you deserve his treatment just bc you love him. Good luck.
Don’t know about the rest but make sure to give him custody, once they get a taste of freedom they won’t want to raise them
A 3rd baby for us let alone a man can be a lot of pressure emotionally ,mentally, financially etc. I’m hoping for the sake of you and your family that is not the case because it can be devastating. Maybe he needs to go to therapy… we handle things or cope better they don’t. Do you work also? Or are you a sahm? Not to be too into your business but was this pregnancy planned or surprise?
I’m not trying to be insensitive here but why are you typing this like you are together still? He’s clearly seeing someone else. Told you he wasn’t in love with you anymore and wanted a divorce and than the kicker, told your 9yr old about it…
Get out of there. Move on as hard as it will be, because you’re worth more than fighting for a man who is already gone.
You deserve someone who isn’t going to up and leave you one day at Thanksgiving. 
Relationship Counselling.
An unbias 3rd party who’s only searching for the truth, logic and who wants to achieve the best outcome.
If he resists and states he wants to separate regardless- say that it’s a psychologist to talk to about finding the best way to go forward with that.
If he’s only panicking or feeling depressed and doesn’t genuinely mean what he’s saying - it’ll all come out in therapy.
Unfortunately I have been there myself also while pregnant.
He is clearly seeing someone else. I’m sorry but that’s what it seems like. He told you he wanted a divorce and doesnt love you which I can imagine is hard to accept but you deserve better. If he can say that to you there has to be some truth to it. You deserve someone who could never say that to you. I know its hard but you have to leave him, hes clearly already moved on.