My husband is having an affair with a 22 year old down in Mexico and has been living a double life for about 2 years. We learned about eachother 4 months ago and it’s been an emotional battle trying to keep my family together. We have a 7 year old and this girl claims she is now pregnant. Telling me he will bring her to the US and have their baby. I found her ultrasound picture on a Spanish website using Google image search. He won’t leave her because she’s pregnant but he said he loves me and I did nothing wrong, he travels for work and this is what he wants. I don’t want to lose my husband to this girl. What advice can anyone give me to resolve this? She also has a 4 year old from a previous marriage. I feel so much betrayal for myself and our daughter.
Get a Lawyer and get a divorce. You aren’t doing yourself any favors staying and teaching your kid that his behavior is okay. You need to teach your kid what a good, healthy relationship should be.
He’s been with her 2 years! I know you don’t want to lose your husband but think about what he’s done and STILL doing to you! Get away from him. You deserve so much better
He has made his choice clear to you, either you accept or leave.
girl, I hope you respect yourself more than your husband respected you. I am so sorry this has happened to you. I hope you’ll be okay. Just be wise, look at the turmoil he’s already given you, don’t let his disrespect continue
Do you want your 7 yr old thinking this is how and what healthy relationships are? No you don’t. Imagine like 15 yrs in the future. What advice would you give your kid if they found their selfs in your shoes? Whatever that is…that’s the course of action you should follow.
Let him have the giant widespread family he wants. As long as he treats you right then why not
Thats so sad. Find a way to move on, why fight for someone who doesnt love you. Your fighting a loosing battle.
He wants his cake and eat it at the same time. Two years is long enough personally to tell u what he wants. Leave and get some self respect back x
Children mimic our relationships when they get older. Think about what lesson you want to teach her.
Unless you’re looking for a sister wife, it’s time to stop being disrespected and move on.
You’ve already lost him.
The pain of staying isn’t worth it. When it’s his parenting time are you supposed to raise his love child as well as your child produced during your marriage?
You’ve already lost him. Now, don’t lose yourself chasing him.
It’s clear you both want completely different things.
Please, please leave him. I mean do what is best for u. But in my opinion he does not value nor respect you. Why should he have exactly what he wants when he ruined your life. You deserve better. Period.
If you feel betrayal, your next step is to respect yourself and your daughter and leave. The feelings will only run deeper and harder
How could you let yourself go through this? He made his mind by continuing to have a second family. I would leave. Good luck
You already lost him to this girl. Do what is good and right for you and your daughter. Leave him behind and find your happiness.
Have some self respect and leave him. If not for yourself then for your daughter. You give her a bad example. Like its Okay he betrays you this bad.
Hé does nog love you! If hè did love you hè would not have done this to you
Leave. If you keep him, you’re just showing him what he can get way with. They’ll always be another one.
You’ve already lost him, don’t lose yourself.
Feel all the emotions you need too, go get your Divorce and live a happy life.
Ultrasound on google images? Shes not really pregnant and that’s some psycho shit to lie about. But he obviously has been sleeping with her for him to believe she could be. Cut your losses and let lil loony have him.
Honey don’t let your 7 year old see this and think it’s ok. You don’t want her having a relationship like this. Divorce sweetie he made his decision.
Honey the ball is literally in your court. Take the proof of the affair and leave him. Hell be begging in no time but please recognize that you are enough. You and your baby don’t deserve this.
That’s terrible I am so sorry he’s doing this to you…. That’s not right I promise that pain is temporary you will be able to move on and find happiness you deserve…. You have to leave 2 YEARS is such a long time!be strong and live one day at a time, you’ll make it through
Child support start a new life
The only reason he’s saying he loves you is because he doesn’t want to lose you because it’ll be too expensive for a divorce. Know your worth. Move on from that man. He has already shown you who he is.
.i would leave hes been with her for 2 years and now there having a baby,
You wouldn’t want that to happen to your daughter .you deserve better mumma
Unfortunately it looks like you’ve lost him and he is just around to have his cake and eat it too. Stay strong you deserve so much better than what he has done to you
If he loved you, he won’t of cheated for 2 years and got someone else pregnant,im sorry but you need to respect yourself and get away from him xx
Divorce & save every bit of evidence. Idc id take half of everything.
Not to sound rude but if he loves you he would never had a affair for 2 yrs and fell in love with the other sounds like he playing both he tells you he loves you and her he loves her I wouldn’t be wasting any time on man clearly doesn’t know what he wants and playing you both if she thinks he all that let her find out like The old saying is he did it to you he will do it to her !!! Leave and move on get a divorce
You say you don’t want to “lose” your husband… as if he’s a win. You’ve already lost him.
Your “loss” of him sounds like way more of a win when it comes to the well being of yourself and your daughter.
Cheating should already be an automatic dealbreaker in a marriage… so the fact that he, not only cheated, but was careless/DISGUSTING enough not to use ANY means of protection (to prevent impregnating another woman) should be 1000X the validation you need to leave his a*s.
I’m honestly SO sick of women being so insecure about themselves that they actually seek out advice on how to keep a cheater. It’s actually really infuriating but, mostly, so sad; that you don’t love yourself enough to terminate such disrespect and degradation.
Handle it like you would want your daughter to handle it if she was ever in this situation so she doesn’t continue the cycle of thinking that men like her father is the most she deserves.
girl, you lost him long before you found out about this girl. This is the one you found out about, how many others has there been and will there be in the future. By staying with him you are telling him its ok to treat you like shit and to have others on the side. Why you would want to stay with a man like that is beyond me. If he loved you he would not have been playing around, he is only telling you he is sorry now because you found out about this other woman. Totally disrespecting yourself and your daughter by staying in this relationship
Girl know your self worth he betrayed you in the worst way possible bin the hole ass excuse for a man and get on with your life otherwise your daughter will think that’s how men are supposed to treat woman
You deserve better, I know you love him and want to keep your family together but is it really worth it ? It’s your choice but if it where me I would leave him and let him treat someone else like trash
Wow, that damn broad only wants citizenship a kid to get assistance for, and your man to provide for since he’sbenn doing that already! Divorce him & take him for what he has, before that damn broad really gets knocked up & while you can!
get a good divorce lawyer and bleed him dry that may help teach him to keep it in his pants
Why are you trying to “keep your family together” when he’s been living a double life? Really? He’s been cheating on you and what/ you’re going to welcome the other woman into your life?
Move on. Do you really wanna be with him??
File for divorce, but get your shit together first. He said he won’t leave her??? Really?
You say you don’t want to loose your husband but you already lost him over 2 years ago when he stepped out on your marriage. Remember people will treat you how you allow them to treat you.
If this is something you cannot handle, don’t put yourself or your child through that. Its not healthy if you cannot get past it. And nor should you. Thats a massive betrayal, one alot of people don’t tolerate.
He is cheating and won’t leave either one , and if one leaves him he will just do this again . Literally a double life that’s so sick . Get your ducks in a row and file for divorce start saving money before making the leap and hope he ends up in Mexico so custody with your daughter would be much easier .
You should leave, but that’s your choice! You will never have peace within yourself if you do stay with him!
Nothing Can be done unless you want to continue living that life.
He TOLD you he’s not stopping. That’s all you need to know. There isn’t anything to fix, here. He’s made his decision and is already gone. You refuse to accept it. The problem isn’t you. It’s him. As long as he’s in this equation, you’re gonna suffer. Your daughter will suffer. If you stay just to continue this CHARADE of a marriage, it will be nothing but a miserable endeavor. You can’t lose what you don’t have. Actions speak louder than words. Listen! Always believe what their actions are telling you. It is the best indicator of future behavior. He isn’t even hiding it and lying about it at this point. Your marriage is over. It takes two to fix, and you’re the only one willing to do that. You’ve got a decision to make. Are you going to stay while your husband actively creates a family and another life with someone else, or are you gonna stand up for yourself and your daughter and teach her that you BOTH deserve better? And DO something about it? I can tell you, as a child whose mother stayed, and put up with the bullsh*t… the damage caused will make your child resent you most for choosing to subject them to it and putting them through it to keep reliving a daily nightmare that never ends. It’s not only about you, it’s about her. You need to think about the long term mental and emotional damage staying in this relationship will cause not only you, but also your daughter.
DNA baby, if his, you leave. If not, he’ll leave her. Then you can choose
If your miserable with him you may as well be miserable without him ide run a mile and never turn back🏃♀️
If you make him leave her , they’ll always be the next one. So unless your okay with sharing him…I guess he can tote you and the child in his overnight luggage
Better start following those divorce papers you really want to keep a man like that
You don’t want to lose him sounds like he has been gone for a couple years already get a lawyer and move on
I mean if you’re asking I feel like you already knew what you are doing honestly and want someone to tell you what you want to hear but that would be my ex husband and no questions about it!
Get rid of him now. Doesn’t love you or your child or he wouldn’t be cheating.
if he can do it to you he will do it to her cheaters will always cheat run and fast
Just give him time to pack his !!!
I would leave. It’s a forever thing if she is having his kid, you didn’t lose him to her, he left you two years ago!!! Been in your spot, that woman and their child will always be there!!! If you stay be sister wife’s and you can help each other with his children
Get counseling and leave. You deserve better.
You state that you don’t want to loose your husband BUT you’ve already lost your husband to this girl. Move on. You deserve better
Your child’s a little too old to be sitting and watching what’s happening because of her age she can fully understand what’s happening and you don’t want your daughter growing up, thinking that this is what she should accept from a man. I know it may not seem like the best option, but overtime it will be because you’re showing your daughter that if a man can’t respect you don’t take that.
You need to move on. You need to know your worth. If this was your 7 year old coming to you with this how would you advise her?
You never had him. He never wanted to be had. He just wants to get his. Why want to stay with someone who clearly doesn’t love you? Why do women do that? What the hell?
I hate your husband and I don’t even know him. Change the locks and make him stay away…divorce that suckered, you deserve better…
Get over it if your not going to leave him and stop complaining. It better yet be smart and get divorced because he doesn’t love you
Work with your individual therapist to develop some standards and then try dating people who meet them. Why are you trying to hold onto a relationship your husband chose to walk away from? I feel bad for your kid. Show the kid what good parents are and do better.
Ima hit it on the head.
Hunny you’ve already lost him! He’s been lying to you for 2 years (probably more) he doesn’t care about you, your marriage, your family nothing. He’s shown you he wanted out by creating this “double life” He does not love you. Leave him! Let him carry on his disgusting relationship with this “girl” cause he will do it again to her.
Not necessarily leave him to find someone else, maybe use this time to heal, new hobby, etc find your self again and know your worth.
I really do hope you have a staunch support system near you x
He already said he’s not leaving her. So you have two choices. Stay with a cheater and have what you want but be hurt everyday of your life, or save the proof and get a lawyer and take his shit.
Staying wouldn’t even cross my mind tbh.
F…ck some woman are idoits need to grow a back bone and stand up straight
Sounds to me you lost him 2yrs ago…
Why are you staying
Is a better question
You either except it or leave. There is no in-between
Jesus Christ. The fuck do you mean keep him? Dump his ass and say adios
You don’t want to loose him? Girl he’s been cheating on you for 2 years. He’s the bad guy here. Whoever ends up with him is the looser. Dump him, file for custody sighting that he travels to Mexico often & you’re concerned he’ll take off with your daughter. Get child support, spousal support etc.
You already did lose your Husband!
Unless they used invitro to conceive that baby you have been exposed to possible std’s without knowing because of his deception, that is a far more imminent issue than your marriage, your damaged trust, or your kids new sibling
You leave period. Get a lawyer, get a custody plan in place, and stand up for yourself. You have to show your child that this isn’t normal behavior and that you won’t tolerate your spouse disrespecting you.
Know your worth and leave. He obviously doesn’t care for the family you both created….
2 years? You’ve already lost him. I’d get a divorce
You have already lost him and the trust
Why would you not want to lose that? Let it go
You’ve already lost him. Due to the pregnancy she will always be in his life.
You actually still want him? We can’t help you then. Most of us would be filing for divorce. We know that I would.
You already lost him. Let him go. File for divorce and be done with it.
Youve already lost your husband. Now take his disgusting ass to court and take him for what hes worth.
Leave him hunny! You already lost him! Think about your daughter, would you want her to fight for her cheating husband to stay with her when he clearly wants to be with someone else?
It’s been two years, he is lying and leading you on. What’s your issue to losing him to her? You’ve already lost him. He chose her 2 years ago.
Once a cheater always a cheater girl you and your daughter deserve someone who only wants you, get the hell out
Let him go u dont derserve second best and he sure dont derserve his cake and eat it too
You have already lost your husband to this girl. Cut your losses & move on.
He wants you to be sister wives
Your husband is disgusting,Andy can guarentee it will happen over & over. You and your child are better off without him. Staying in an unhappy marriage will be worse on you & your child than leaving it
So your telling her its ok for him to have another family?
He won’t leave her!! 2 yrs!! He has made his choice honey now you have to make yours. I know what I would do 100% but it’s up to you to decide. You have yourself & your daughter to think about. You can still love someone & not be with them. Good luck!
“I don’t want to lose my husband to this girl.” Darling, you already lost him to that girl the moment he cheated on you with her. What you are holding onto is a memory. An illusion. You and your daughter don’t deserve this. Be strong for you and your child. You deserve happiness.
Your husband made his choice. He won’t leave her. Now you need to make yours. He very clearly doesn’t respect you. He doesn’t want to leave you not because he loves you and wants to make it right, but because you’ve made it comfortable for him to stay and he knows you won’t leave even he disrespected you. He doesn’t respect you AT ALL so you need to respect yourself and leave.
You have been betrayed. Its Time for you to Pull up your big girl pants. You and your daughter are NEVER an option!! Be strong and an example for her to know this is NOT the way a man loves his family. He knew EXACTLY what he was doing to you and his family. HE WASN’T PLANNING ON EVER BEING FOUND OUT. YOU call the shots with utmost confidence. But you’re relationship with your, uh… husband, I use that term loosely, will never be the same. And you will never feel 1st anymore. Every step of every day will be made with inner doubt. Because when he stepped into that role there were many promises given. He’s broken many of those.
Don’t let your daughter think it’s ok to be treated that way! It’ s NOT, you deserve to be the ONLY one in his life!! Aha iF she is actually pregnant she’ll have NO problem doing a pregnancy test in front of him! Peeing in front of him on the stick so she can’t use someone else’s pee. Be a strong woman for yourself and your daughter. Good luck sweetie
Leave him, even if she is lying about being pregnant I’d tell him to leave and go raise it. I’d never forgive my husband if he lived a double life!
Run like hell honey. This is my heart felt opinion, not an exclamation. Anyone who could keep that many secrets and hide that much for that long is not someone you need to be around. That takes a certain dedication. Think about it this way, he had more dedication to a lie than he did you, that’s a textbook case of something you should look up. Please think about ending it and do it safely and peaceably for your child’s sake. There are so many people in this world and I promise you will find one that loves you and your child and could never conceive of doing what he did.
Once a cheat…always a cheat. I’m very sorry for your pain. Pick up your pieces, find yourself a man you can trust. Go on and enjoy your life! His karma sucks…wait and watch! Karma catches up and delivers the justice deserved. I have watched and enjoyed the show. Good luck! Chin up. Better days are ahead. Xo
“You don’t want to lose your husband to this girl” … honey he was already gone as soon as his pants unzipped; and to be brutally honest he was never there. He’s a dog and put the blame where the blame lies, with him!
You may love him but he clearly only loves himself!
Get a lawyer, file for divorce and take him to the cleaners ….
You and your baby girl deserve better.
You have some doozy life lessons that are playing out in front of your daughter, remember she IS watching regardless of how much you may try to keep from her.
This man made a clear and conscious choice to become involved with someone else. HE chose this for himself and he got caught. Truth be known it’s probably not the first time he’s strayed either.
Now it’s your turn to make a choice for you and your daughter. It’s terrifying, but you need to do this for you and your daughter. He is fine with bringing his new child and mistress and her baggage into your lives with zero regards as to how this will affect your worlds; you can either subject your child to this insanity or you can keep her as far from it as possible.
You can choose HIS chaos or you can create a new calm for her.
Sending many prayers to you!!!
Ma’am you have already lost him. He made his choice. He went out and started another life with someone else. He’s been lying to you. The question is, is this the way you want to continue living?
Unless you want to move this lady and her family into your home and share. Boot that man out…!! He’s got the best of both worlds eating his cake