QUESTION:
"I have gained weight since I had two kids back to back in 2018/2019. Where I use to be 130/140, I’m now 230. I know I’m bigger, and at 5”1, it definitely shows. Anyways, this weekend was date night with my husband, and I got a new outfit for the occasion. However, when I walked into our living room with the top on the quickly said, “that shirt shows all your fat rolls.”I’m not a crier, but this made me instantly cry every time I think about it, I tear up. It’s absolutely killed me, but my husband thinks I’m overreacting (like I’m not an emotional person, but I am with my weight which he knows this). I’ve been dieting and exercising (I was 250), and I know I am bigger. I’m trying to get this weight off. Am I wrong to feel this way? I mean it when I say it’s literally made me feel absolutely worthless."
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TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):
The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.
"You are not wrong! That was so insensitive!"
"He supposed to be your safe spot. A place that brings you comfort… not heartache. You are not overreacting! Women’s bodies go through hell and back carrying and birthing our children. If he can’t appreciate your body…. Then maybe he doesn’t deserve it."
"I’m sorry you went this, you shouldn’t have to be uncomfortable in your skin and he shouldn’t make you feel uncomfortable in it either. I know exactly how you feel and since I wasn’t married I left my son’s father while I was pregnant for doing the exact same thing. I hope you can feel comfortable in your skin because no matter what you’re beautiful and your weight does not define your beauty. Keep your head up, your body is beautiful it gave life to 2 amazing and precious babies if he can’t see that, then that’s his loss."
"It is possible for someone to tell you the truth and help motivate you too. Maybe ask him to help motivate you because it will help you on your weight loss journey. I personally rely on my husbands brutal honesty because I know other people won’t give it to me because it may “hurt my feelings “"
"If he can’t accept you at your weight now then does he truly deserve you hun? A man who truly loves you would never say that to you regardless of anything. You aren’t overreacting and he’s definitely in the wrong cause of what he said."
"The thing I’m learning is.. you have every right to feel any way you want. Nobody gets to tell you how to feel about anything. I’d feel super self conscious and heart broken if my husband said something like that to me too. My heart goes out to you."
"That was insensitive. He could of used better wording. I don’t think you’re overreacting."
"It was an unkind comment. Sometimes husbands just don't think. I got dressed up the other day and instead of saying You look great or beautiful my hubs said So good to see you not looking so housewifey. It hurt my feelings but I know what he meant. I said "gee thanks." He apologized."
"He probably could have worded it better but it’s possible that he didn’t mean any harm. Did it upset you more because you have gained the weigh or because he said it. Keep striving to lose rut for your self esteem and health. Wishing you the best."
"This was super insensitive. But men can be that way they don’t realize. Maybe he was trying to be helpful? If something doesn’t look good I would want someone to tell me BUT In a much more tactful manner."
"He was out of pocket for that remark. No you're not over reacting at all."
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