Unfortunately when I went thru my RnY they said that the divorce rate is very high for women who lose a bunch of weight, the husband’s don’t know how to change with us. In my case, they were correct. I lost half my body weight and was no longer happy to sit around all day and wanted to do something, anything and he wanted to keep sitting around. I accept all blame because I changed in our relationship and he didn’t.
I have 4 kids… including 4 year old twins. I was feeling trapped because my soon to be ex has always been narcissistic & just getting meaner. Honestly, I thought things couldn’t get any worse… then, I started having panic attacks. Even after deployment dealing with PTSD, I had never felt this broken. I left for a few days out of town with the kids to a friend’s house. She had just moved & had her own stuff going on… I took that time to find a lawyer & research my options. The divorce hearing is in a couple of weeks. Since he moved out, I haven’t had a single panic attack & I’m finally getting some sleep. 
Know what your options are first.
He is manipulating you into thinking you need him. He is obviously very insecure and not happy with his life. Do not under any circumstances give up your success to make him feel better about himself. He needs you, but you do NOT need him
Theres help out there. But dont stay in a toxic relationship … Id start with your local domestic violence shelter. They will appoint u an advocate and everything can be done quietly. I been there …
Leave. Believe me. Love doesn’t do those things. Love uplifts and is proud of you at your best. He will kill you slowly. I’ve been there. Leave.
I took the leap and left the man. Everything else works it way out
Your children are learning how to treat you and other prople by watching him… best thing you can do is leave.
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Write down your list if expectations. There is alot of information missing here. Tell him you expect him to find work. You both are going through this together. You made modifications to meet his expectations of you being slimmer. So you expect him to be nicer and maybe get a good job. Say it in a encouraging way letting him know you think he’s an intelligent person. If that takes going to school to update his credentials let him know you are up for working with him In that effort. It takes a good supportive partner and always encourage the best in one another. After all there was a time when you both made a conscious decision to be together. Build on each other’s strengths. Good luck.
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Id leave once i had a lawyer on hand then file for emergency custody and divorce all at once. Pack mine and my kids clothing and things and not look back. Youre doing it all on your own anyways so make it official
Childcare is cheaper as a single parent . Leave him
Keep losing weight, work, focus on kids keep to a very ridged schedule. It will happen on its own
Leave leave now forget childcare it’s worse when u stay an get abused. That’s what this is, emotional an mental abuse.
Leave him n get his ass for child support. It’ll force him to get up n work or he goes to jail. Tough shit. Maybe he’d learn how to treat people while he’s there.
Don’t stick around for his temper tantrums.
Call 911 if he escalates to violence.
Live your life without his permission. Live with integrity no matter what he does.
Tell him he needs to get broader shoulders because his hateful abuse is juvenile and you are not taking it anymore. Also let him know if he doesn’t like the way you look or live… there’s the door.
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Take your new confidence and find a new dude before you tell your husband you’re leaving. Then you can split living costs with someone so some pay can go to child care, and maybe be with a non-douchebag.
There are so many government funded programs that help with childcare. If you are not happy, leave. If you’ve talked to him about this and nothing has changed, leave. Sometimes it takes leaving for him to realize how much of an ass he has been.
Sounds like you need to lose another 100+ pounds byeee felicia
Ope! Sounds like someone is insecure😂 Divorce him and find someone who isn’t intimidated by your success❤
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Sounds like you have another kid on your hands🤦♀️
I would like to suggest counseling. He has issues. Don’t put up with bad behavior.
Girl leave him. Get childcare subsidy in your county
He’s dead weight drop him
Throw the whole man out!! 
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Find government help to care for the kids and leave his toxic ass
I would leave his dead shit arse !
Why doesn’t he work ??
Get out and be happy he’s clearly a slob of a man
Look for day care help and then kick his ass out. He sounds like a grumpy mooch
Kick him out and end the relationship. If he’s the father he needs to continue watching the kids.
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He was toxic before and is still toxic. You can’t expect changes from someone who has no intent on changing. Look into day care etc of what you can put in place to help you after you kick his lame a$$ out the door.
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Leave him. Apply for state assistance to help with child care. No one deserves that. You take care of you and your kids!
If that was me, I’d probably clock him with a fryingpan…
That’s toxic and hurtful and teaching your kids toxic and hurtful behaviors.
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Eeewww I hate an insecure man 
. Look into social services, they usually have programs that will help pay for childcare and you may even be eligible for some food stamps so that’s a little bit more help to you. But don’t stay with someone who can’t even help you pay bulls yet abuses you…
child support. never stay in a unhealthy situation because you think you cant afford it. you will find a way. there are home daycares that dont chharge crazy.
He’s obviously insecure that now that you’re feeling better about yourself that you will move on , if he keeps it up then that’s the next step
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Dump that loser fast
You can get help from the state, that’s what I would advise. He’s a jealous little baby who can’t stand for you to be happy.
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If you live close to me i can take care of your children for just a bit of money till you get up on your feet.
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you work, and do all the house chores? while he doesn’t work n sits on his ass, and degrades you🤔leave him there’s plenty of men out there n good ones that will take care of you and your children! good luck moma
Don’t let that leech waste you, he knows what he got (you) and see you starting to shine more and more so if he can see it he scared he gon loose you to the right man
You’re feeling happy with yourself and he can’t be happy for you ? He’s sounds very childish, he’s lazy, and doesn’t sound motivated at all, getting out and away from him and you’ll feel way more weight off your shoulders and mind
It sounds like hes abusive and I would reach out to your closest domestic violence centre because they can help you with childcare it is called child support he needs to get a job to support himself eventually or just say pride if he ever works under the table you can get them for tax fraud
It’s all about control, he has you afraid to step out on your own…
Kick his ass out. You’re doing everything anyway, he’s in the way. You deserve better.
There is childcare assistance out there and places like big brothers, big sisters that just got a shit ton of money in the last covid bill for low cost to nothing childcare. Technically you’re basically doing it all by yourself and he is just another child that talks back and is disrespectful.
Life’s to short! Shed that 200lb anchor and live your best life! If your working to feed him so he’ll watch the kids, then you can afford child care. Or better yet, he can care for the kids during the day and you can have them when you’re at home.
I have learned this, people rarely change. Either accept that and stay or accept that and leave. Staying will be hard, leaving will be hard, choose your hard.
You gotta leave it’s gon be hard it’s even gon be lonely but, you can do it you can get thru this
Childcare assistance vouchers. Utilize a food pantry/personal care pantry.
I would take out life insurance on him. A lot. Then I would send him to meet Jesus.
You aren’t going to get through to him. Leave him
You can’t fix stupid. So get rid of it. CHILD SUPPORT.
Get assistance with childcare with the workforce and kick his ass to the curb
He Will watch those kids at his fkn house
Leave him hun
All u worried about is childcare
Throw the whole man away. 
Leave. YESTERDAY. PLEASE GET OUT OF THAT RELATIONSHIP
You stand up for yourself! You can do it…No matter what leave that asshole in the dust
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Start saving yesterday and apply for childcare assistance.
He doesn’t sound like a partner I would want.
Dont leave just yet. Ignore him and plan your exit strategy
I’d be leaving him 
he should be happy for you.
Leave him let the government help with childcare till you can get him for child support don’t waste one more minute of your life with that loser
Tell the prick to get out.
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He sounds jealous and insecure
He is a total loser leave his dead ass
Hello, doing good for an old geezer.
Leave his crusty old ass
Throw the whole man out!!!
You honestly don’t need him.
He’s trash. Throw him out
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Apply for childcare assistant
Fuck him ! Leave
You deserve to be happy
I have a solution, but it’s a felony.
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Ellira Zuzic how horrible
Drop him like a hot potato and go enjoy life…
I agree with Amanda Gilberd
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My husband has been mean to me since I lost weight: Advice? - Mamas Uncut
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Something I had to ask myself… do you want your kids growing up thinking the way he treats you is ok and normal? If you aren’t happy, you can’t be a mom to the full potential either. It’s not easy but if you are doing it alone anyways, you might as well do it alone and be HAPPY!
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You’re already doing it on your own. Reach out to your local mom group and see if any stay at home Mamas have childcare openings. Make your plan.
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You can apply for daycare assistance! I have been a single mom with no help…not saying it isnt tough to do on your own but you and your kiddos deserve so much better
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I had the same situation, it wasn’t about weight loss… Just a husband who was a narcissist and expected me to do everything, on top of working and then put me down and tore my soul apart every chance he had…stuck it out for 20 years, “for the kids” and to “keep our family intact” … I wasn’t doing the kids any favors, and I wasted far too much of my life, being on my own is still a struggle, but one that’s on my own terms. If I could do it all again the only thing I’d change is that I would have left WAY sooner instead of sacrificing every part of myself until he destroyed us all and left me holding the bag and picking up the pieces.
Seems to me like you’re already doing everything on your own…maybe it’s time to cut loose the dead weight and just focus on you and your kids 
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Misery loves company simple as that. Girl you deserve better, cut the misery out and live out the rest of your years being happy. Life is just to short
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Do you want your kids to grow up and either treat someone else the way he treats you or to allow themselves to be treated the way you are? Children learn by what they see.
Girl he feels threatened because YOU are better than him in all ways! He thought if you stayed big, your self-esteem would stay low and he felt you wouldn’t leave and he could take advantage of you. You are doing it by yourself now!!! His hatefulness is his jealousy and insecurity showing. He doesn’t want his gravy train to stop! Go ahead and cut the cord! There is so much help there for single moms concerning health care! Good luck!!!
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See what options your state provides for people leaving abusive relationships. He might not hit you but he is being mentally emotionally abusive. It is better for your children too see that that is not a healthy relationship and see that you love them and yourself enough to not stay in that toxic situation. There is always help out there. Good job for taking the initiative on bettering yourself and Good luck.
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Counseling. If he refuses to go start looking for Avenue of escape. Do you have parents who could help you. The answer should never depend on money. I know I don’t know your situation but you need to care of you
Honey if you gotta do it all by yourself, might as well be all by yourself. Especially if staying only makes you miserable. Your kids know something is wrong even if they don’t know the details it’s up to you to teach them that it’s ok to fix that wrong no matter what it takes. It’s time for Momma to be happy.
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Take what you have and go to a shelter. They will help you. Just get out before something serious happens. You can do it on your own. There is help out there.
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Sounds like you’re already doing it without him! Does he watch the kids while you work? If he does, there are child care subsidy programs out there to help you.
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On your day off, go to dss and get on the list for subsidized day care. Also, try to find a single mom and coordinate your work schedules. On your day off, you watch the kids and vice versa. Free childcare
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I’d go … honestly you’ll find a way to make it. Your kids dont need to watch their father treat their mother like crap.
He was mean before and after the weightloss sounds to me like you need to throw the whole man out! It won’t be easy but you’ll be happier not dealing with the abuse
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Start saving little at a time without telling him, then when you can get rid of him. You might struggle for awhile & times might be tough but it will eventually get better, trust me I’ve been there! It will work out & be 100% worth it
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You put your mind to it you can do anything. Coming from a single mom who gets shit done. Sounds like he’s got some insecurities and that’s why he’s acting that way towards you. I’m sorry.
Tell him to straighten up or get the hell out. U don’t need him
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If you’re the only one working sounds like you are just using your kids as an excuse. What I tell my daughter is you can either find a reason to take that first step or keep making excuses and stay where you are in life. Take that step.
Safe and lioness and lamb are safe houses for mom and babies
Go apply for daycare help through your local welfare office. Then establish child support. He’ll have to get a job then and he’ll also be responsible for paying welfare back. Do whatever you can to get away. You don’t want your kids to grow thinking that how he treats you is okay.
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Honestly, I have known people that have gone to government programs and have gotten assistance with day care. For example, in New Mexico, if you go to CYFD they have a list of day cares they work with to provide affordable programs for lower income. I wouldn’t stay with anyone that makes me feel bad about myself.
I was there. It will only get worse. See if you’re state or community has help with child care. Also, there’s no shame in downsizing if that’s an option. Nothing is worth being abused or having your child watch it.
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Lose more weight by leaving him. Work from home at night and avoid childcare costs.
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You’re already doing it by yourself