Girl I’d be on the phone with this chick and set her straight.
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When you ask groups like this the majority will say “leave” because they have no skin in the game and they’re just spectators. It’s extremely unhelpful and not realistic. Instead of trying to change him you need to turn it around. Ask him what he needs from you to get the kind of attention he’s giving someone else. Ask him what you’re doing wrong. The answer is, you’re probably not doing anything wrong. It will make him think twice. He’a inherently allowed to talk to his ex but it’s really what they’re talking about that’s the concern. He should be open enough to let you read up on their conversations if you ask. At the end don’t be a doormat. If you really can verify he’s physically cheating it’s time to set boundaries and rules. He can’t go chase tail and then get in bed next to you. That’s just gross. It’s amazing he’s not trying to hide it better. It sounds like he had major growing up to do. Plan for the worst and hope for the best. Whatever you do don’t sell yourself short. Don’t let him think you’ll stick around waiting for him to change his mind.
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You shouldn’t have to beg someone to treat you how you deserve. If they dont already WANT to treat you how you deserve they 1. Arent going to. And 2. Dont deserve you.
You deserve better. Someone who loves and respects you.
I wish I could go back and tell my 19 yr old self this lol. Anything you have to force or chase is NOT worth it.
I’ve been where you are. I asked both of them to stop. Both of them lied and said nothing was going on. After 32 years of marriage we are now divorced because of it and he married her six months later. My advice is to kick him to the curb. If he is talking to her that often trust me he is talking to her about his marriage to you. The sex part of it and the non sex part. She probably “understands him”.
Or so he thinks. The things he’s talking to her about are the things he should be talking to you about.
Good luck. It’s going to hurt like hell but in the long run you will be stronger
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Why are so many women so weak and desperate? What is wrong with you! You love him and want to desperately cling to him ? Why? He has clearly shown you are irrelevant, your feelings are irrelevant, Your family is irrelevant… And yet you want to coax HER out of the picture like she is the problem and not this disgusting waste of a man? I guarantee you she isn’t the first and she isn’t the last, And all he thinks of your begging and crying is that you are weak and pathetic, It doesn’t tug at his heart, Because he has all but physically vacated your relationship… You need to suck it up and do what is best for YOU and your kids and staying with him isn’t it, Yes its scary to have to go it alone (most of us have been there) but you are strong enough to endure it and make a far better life for yourself, And eventually maybe even open up to the possibility of meeting someone who will truly value you. You deserve better than this cheating man, Stop allowing yourself to be used, Eventually you will just be tossed aside.
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Talking to an ex isn’t cheating…
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Run. Don’t walk away
I have been through something similar. I gave him space to do what he needed and it turned out that he got into a physical relationship with her and I had to do what was right for me and my kids. Now, if you believe you are everything he qant and that he’s just talking to her to have another person to talk to then, give him space, let him make the right choice to come home to you only. But from what I just read he is doing something he shouldn’t and hasn’t figured out that the grass isn’t greener over there. I think you should take a long vacation with your kids to your parents house and see if that fixes anything, if its an option. Once there get on your feet with a job and start working on what you really want. I know it hurts but you deserve to be treated better than that and if he’s not man enough to come out and tell you whats really going on now then he probably never will. Granted he knows you know whats going on but it seems to me that he doesn’t care.
A solid relationship is built on trust, if the trust is gone the only thing you can do is give him a choice. Either he stops and works on your relationship or you and the kids are going. If this is hurting you then you may show it unintentionally towards your children and then they will be living in a toxic environment where arguing and lack of respect is shown. If you can’t leave him for your own peace of mind then please don’t let your children think it’s OK for a woman to suffer rather than separate. I hope you do what’s right by yourself and your children, no woman is worth the pain and hurt of an unfaithful husband. X
I had a similar situation with my ex. One day, three years later I finally had enough and left, there are better people out there to spend life with!
I just asked him honestly how would you feel if I was still talking and communicating with my ex in the same way that you communicate with yours? after you ask that question depending usually on his facial expression it may tell you exactly what kind of communication they’ve been having or he may at least say he’s not happy with that idea and then you can explain that’s how you feel right now. It’s not like you’re asking him to stop talking to all girls in general you are just not comfortable with him having communication in contact with an ex which is understandable and he should respect you as much as you respect him. If you can’t then he isn’t worth it I know you love them but it just shows on what level he respects you and his children if he’s willing to risk everything over an ex. If anything he at least needs to make sure the ax is well-informed that he is happily married with children and that this relationship cannot be any more than just regular friends. I know it also sounds a little ridiculous but he needs to prove that she was informed of this
Leave. Why force a man to do right by you, when he has the opportunity to do it himself? Would you rather he be forced to do it? Or cause he wants to? My old self would say, be petty and do to him, what he does to you and see how he reacts then tell him “well youdo it, and you dont stop when i ask, so why should i?” But thats the old me.
I’m sorry but i would be kicking his ass out the door , you seem to be the only one worried about anyone’s feelings here he doesn’t seem to care how u feel or even bothered about fixing what is wrong in your relationship, u can only do so much and if he isn’t will I get to step up and do his bit then I’m sorry it’s time to either kick him out or u leave
Leave! You deserve better.
Maybe the ex girlfriend needs to be told about the truth of your marriage a decent woman would walk away if she not a decent woman then if he leaves you for her I know it hurt but she do the same to him with another ex boyfriend and he run back to u me I wouldn’t take him back you deserve better
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Move on honey he’s playing you an your taking it get out he’s a cheater !!
I’d never go out of my way to try to talk to or prove something to another woman. A man who loves and respects you would never put you in that position. Let her have him. 
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Honestly even if you tell her, she may stop and leave him alone, but he’ll probably find someone else. If he isn’t willing to change now then he probably won’t. Especially if he thinks it isn’t wrong. I’d tell him if he has to leave if he wants to talk to anyone else. And if he leaves that’s his fault not yours. Take care of yourself and your babies
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You know what’s happening and you need to make your move now before it gets even harder. Been there and it won’t feel good but you know what you got to do, and eventually you wonder why you waited so long - I guarantee it.
He’ll leave soon sadly…he’s just planning it!!
I’m so sorry dear. You deserve more. He’s mentally already moved on… Some how you gotta find the strength to do it to… We are all hear for you. Send a message of you need to vent or want an ear to cry to:purple_heart:
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Can you contact her, if so tell her what’s happening. And as much as you love him it doesn’t look like he loves you as much.
It’s hard to accept, I know, but a cheater is a cheater.
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Go find yourself a new man then. If he can’t handle it. 
if he doesn’t care that you have relations with another man. Then leave him.
Talking to the woman is NOT the answer. Demanding your husband to stop talking to her isnt the answer. He has to want to. This is hard i know but have respect for yourself and think about the kids. If you have a daughter…would you want her to be treated this way? You are showing her its okay to be stepped all over. If you have a son. You are teaching/showing him you are weak and he may think he can treat women without respect and they will stay. You are better. Find your strength and move on. Pick yourself up and hold your head high.
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Tell her and dump him
If you tell someone (especially a spouse) something is hurting you and ask them to stop, but they don’t… it usually means they don’t respect you or care about you like you think you do. If he is refusing to stop and won’t see a marriage counselor with you, then you may need to sit down with him and give him the ultimatum. Either he steps up or it’s done. You need to look out for you and your kids first. Set an example for them on what is acceptable and what isn’t. You don’t want your children growing up thinking it’s acceptable to hurt their partner or be hurt by their partner like this.
Good luck momma! Hope your husband steps up or you find peace without him.
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I say call the girl. Only because men always lie to them to get what they want. They give them a sad story for bait. In a calm voice let her know that you are well aware of them talking and you don’t feel comfortable. That you asked him and now your telling her as well to respect your marriage that you and hubby are doing good and don’t want any problems. If it continues then you know what needs to be done. Good luck
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My husband and I talk to who every we want if he is finding it it’s a problem or if it’s way to much it would be a problem. I’m married for 25 years because we trust and respect each another. Try talking to him or her.
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Girl drain all that money out the account and live girl.
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Call her see if she is aware and she is and if neither of them care get out while you can.
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This happened to my parents. He is now married to the other woman… after 25 years of Marriage. Girl don’t beg GTFO!
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Get in touch with an old boyfriend, “just to catch up” . The husband won’t like it, he’ll see how it feels, and he’ll stop.
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Catch up with an old boyfriend, too, and see how he likes it 
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I’m sorry to say babe but it looks like neither of them have respect for your relationship. Leave him and if he’s sorry, he’ll only be cause you decided not to put up with his bullshit excuses for it to be okay when they both knew it’s not.
You should just ask her for the truth
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Leave. I wasted so much time on a man who I thought I could trust. I asked him to stop talking to a girl, he said nothing was going on, I knew he was lying but I wanted to believe him. He was cheating on me the whole time we were together with other women as well. I found so many messages and lost a friend because I believed my boyfriend over my friend that I’ve had since I was little. It hurt really bad, I’m damaged from it, but I have a little boy who deserves a happy mom. Not a mom who’s anxiety is on high and cant think straight. I’m 100x happier now. You have to do what’s best for you and your babies. Don’t try contacting her. I gaurentee she knows what she’s doing.
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Get divorce papers and show him you mean business!
Don’t beat around the bush about it.
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I’d leave. Same thing happened with my parents. Eventually my dad left and my mom was heart broken.
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In all honesty, why would you want to be with someone who continues to hurt you. You cant control what him or her or doing. Talking etc. If he is cheating with her the best thing to do is let go. Be strong for yourself and your babies. You are showing him he can do whatever he wants, including disrespecting you and your marriage. Say goodbye girl!
Was in a relationship we argued all the time about him talking to ex girlfriends we are no longer together
How can you trust him and he doesn’t care that what he is doing is hurting you. Says he isn’t doing anything wrong. I would be done, but that is me. No trust= no relationship.
It’s an emotional affair! My husband of nearly 35 years left me and our grandsons we were raising for her. Odds are you are fighting a losing battle. Sorry …
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Just leave not even worth the heart ache if he dosent see a problem in it he never will NO man that loves you would ever put you in a situation like that!
Go on with your life get together.And make and life with your kids and for get him
I’d like to know how to stop this as well. 
it changes even their personality
Do the same to him, maybe he’ll see what he’s doing. Get dressed up (to the nines) and go out. Make sure he sees how you’re dressed before you leave and leave him with the kids. Maybe get a drink at the bar, post a pic where he can see it and pretend your phone is off. Drive home and park down the street to see if she comes over, if she does just beat her ass…
Leave and take the kids…
It’s wrong what he is doing and he needs to stop.
Find out where she lives or her phone number and call her and tell her to knock it off
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No kick him out and keep the kids with you let him realize what he’s missing
You can’t MAKE him do anything, and if he’s not WILLING to change or at the very least compromise on something, then he don’t respect you and you’re wasting your time.
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Talk to the ex. Sometimes the sisterhood is just that and she’ll have your back.
Kick him out it’s the only way and if he’s okay with that then he really doesn’t care
I will say as a woman whose made the regretful mistake of doing something similar to her husband that there’s more than meets the eye here. By him reaching out to another woman on a psychological or sexual level he’s trying to fulfill a need. Whether he realizes this or not would be hard to tell unless you ask him and try to figure it out. You two being together for 10 years tells me that you might be going thru a patch of maybe disconnect in your relationship. I could be wrong but when I started straying from my husband it was when was working 10+hrs a day for sometimes 6 days over a span of a year and before then I had a salaried job that kept me away from my newborn baby. My amazing husband through this time was watching our son. My aspirations as a mother have always been to be at home with my son but financially we couldn’t do it. So over the span of those 2 years we started drifting more and more.
I will say what worked for us was me talking to our good friends after he decided he was going to leave me and my son in the house we owns. What really helped me see what was going on was not having contact anymore. Granted we both realize what we did was wrong and at the end I believe that we both understood it was necessary to do this as it was the right thing for all involved. It was the emotional connection that was rough to break. You two need to find that connection again and you can’t do it while she’s involved. For you to think something is going on means ur instincts are telling you something and you’re most likely right. He won’t realize right away what he’s doing but with time he will. Now he is a guy so I know things are a little different but if he’s a smart guy he will. You know your husband so if you feel an emotional change in him it’s very likely that something is going on. Good luck and I hope I helped in part.
Pick up his phone text her saying stop texting my husband I don’t care what’s going on your his past I’m his future! Then have a real talk with him.
Your strong and resilient. You are in a mix of emotions right now and your children are what’s on your mind! Your worried about breaking up your family and I commend you for that. You don’t want to “throw in the towel”, your seeking advice and looking for a solution. Your not walking away or hiding like a coward. Your trying to figure out a solution! In all honesty there’s nothing any of us could say to you…you and your husband need to have this talk. As a couple. If he chooses to want to work it out then it’s easier for you…since you want to work with him. But make sure to have boundaries. However, don’t give him to much power to walk all over you. You seem sweet and that you will give him options. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to keep your family together…For your sake I hope he’s forthcoming and wants your forgiveness. I hope he chooses to work this out with you. We all make mistakes. Nobody is perfect. But like I said don’t let him have the power to control this situation…take it and you enforce what needs to get done. If he disrepects you…continues to step out of the marriage…not work with you…isn’t seeking forgiveness…then you know you did everything YOU could and you can walk away from the situation with your head held high. An when your kids ask you the truth…you know in your heart you did everything you could. The problem with people is there willing to walk away so easily when the going gets tough…but again good for you for trying to keep your family together. — 