You do more harm staying with him for your children’s sake. I had done that before I came to my senses. Do yourself and your children a favor and divorce him.
It’s better for your boys to see you strong and happy
Make the kids your main priority . Try to do thinks which make you happy. Treat yourself often. As long as there is no abuse. Stay focus. Ignore him. Outside women are de most expensive machine to maintain. Try to make yourself independent.
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They already are suffering. Worse yet, they are learning how to treat women by this man. Do you want that? YOU and them deserve better. Leave asap!!!
You should separate so he doesnt continue to use you! He has no respect for you or you’re children! He is not a man. You dont deserve to be treated like this
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I just read the top line and didn’t need to read any further. He won’t stop he will keep doing it. I stayed he kept doing it never changed. He is married now and messes around on his 2nd wife as well. He won’t change, yours won’t change. You deserve better and believe it or not there are still good men out there. Leave. Period.
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ive been through this and i know this is. Please leave him the stress insecurities and everything else of trying to make it work wears u down and does effect the children.
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Why ask for advice? Being a woman u should know what to do, unless u like being a doormat. Sometimes the questions on here are ridiculous. Think for yourself its amazing how women need validation to leave a jerk. What did u all do before SM?
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It’s time to walk away. U need to love yourself and if u truly do, you’ll walk away. You’re children deserve to see u love yourself by allowing yourself up find someone who respects u and loves u completely.
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If your bitter your kid will pick up on it. Everyone wants their family to stay together. Sometimes it’s not possible. You did nothing wrong. You should think your happiness. Kids are resilient and you deserve to be happy.
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Leave your husband and move on with your kids. It’s not healthy for you or your kids to stay in a toxic relationship. it’s going to be a hard journey but it’s not impossible.
He knows you will keep forgiving him.
I can’t even count how many times I forgave my ex.
He drained the life out of my, I was constantly asking myself what I was doing wrong, and how he could keep killing my soul, my god my heart was constantly being broken by the man that I loved, by the man that said he loved me. He promised he’d never hurt me again and again, and every time I believed him. And every time he was lying, knowing that I believed him, knowing that I would never cheat on him, and knowing that I would forgive him.
I thought I was going insane, I was severely depressed, at times a raging bitch. He twisted my emotions around and had people believing I was crazy. Telling other bitches that he slept on the couch, and was only home for our daughter.
Once I forgave him the first time, he knew that he had me locked in for a naive one.
20+ years he took from me,
Please find your strength and go find happyness, it’s gonna take some time to heal, but you need to stop the madness.
Get out…the only thing your kids are learning is that it’s ok to treat a woman like that!!!
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Leave… respect yourself to find better. Love yourself first!!! Yours boys suffer already, as they dont get to see a loving relationship… not everyone cheats and you can do it on your own!! allow yourself to heal from the wounds and love yourself…
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I’m sure you have already gotten enough advice from everyone else in the comments. I just want to ask, knowing everything that you do about his infidelity and how it affects you… why are you choosing to stay? Is that someone you want your children to grow up with as a role model? They’ll eventually catch on. You need to love yourself enough to let him go. That is not love. You deserve better and you deserve someone who wants you and you alone. Having kids with someone is not a reason to stay. Yes, you may still love him but ask yourself this, does he love you? He is willing to have intimate experiences with other people… you don’t even cross his mind when he does that. Why are you choosing to stay knowing it’s going to continue to happen? Value yourself. Your better than that. You deserve better than that.
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The 1st time could/would have been a mistake. Depending on circumstances. After that, it was his decision. Due to he took it to be an easy forgiveness. Now that you have children, don’t let him cheat on them too. Sincerely, A Mom.
Let him go and just coparent. Plain and simple. Don’t have to be any fighting or bullshit. Mind over matter.
LEAVE. Kids or not, you are worth more and your kids need to see that too.
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Leave. If you stay, your boys will grow up thinking this is how you treat your partner
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Dont let anyone tell you what to do you will figure it out
I never understand the bashing on all the questions…like we’re supposed to be uplifting each other and every single post some people have to tear others down. She’s asking for advice. Not a lecture
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From personal experience… a happy and strong SINGLE mom is better for everyone that a being together, but not happy. Kids know, they KNOW when something isn’t right. My son was 4, and even he knew…they just dont have specifics. You will struggle, and the kids will see that too. Make sure they see you struggling to pick your life up and move forward, not struggling in a bad situation.
He should have only cheated on you one time! You should have left him the first time. No kids are going to stop him if he no longer loves you and wants to cheat. Love yourself and your kids and move on with your life without the looser!
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christ woman get some help for yourself and get rid of the loser wont get better
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Google, research therapists in your area, and support groups. You know what to do. Listen to your intuition and don’t doubt yourself.
Don’t even worry because you are loveable 
he’s a piece of shit that’s all there is to it.
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Do what’s best for you so you can be the best for your sons. If you are unhappy, not in the best mental state… if you’re suffering, your sons may suffer too. Leaving a marriage where you feel no connection will not lead to your children suffering.
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After cheating on you multiple times having another baby with him might have not been such a great idea. If you are financially independent it would be good for you to start afresh. Move on life is toi short to be stuck in a loveless relationship.
Best of luck
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Duh!! That’s all I can say
I think you have answered your own question
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A leopard doesn’t change its spots
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Leave and get your self worth back.
Or stay for the kids and be in an open relationship. You don’t deserve that kind of treatment. He will never change
Leave. He will not change. Respect yourself. Don’t raise your boys in a home where this is modeled for them.
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Do what is best for you and your wellbeing. Being cheated is not a reflection on who you are as a person, it is about them. Forgiven once, good enough, forgiven twice is just a routine he does to see what you would do. some say it’s easy for them to come back to you because you would stay after everything he had done to you. NO! Be respectful of yourself and walk away. once is a lesson, second is a take away. So walk away for yourself and your kids. They will ask why it didn’t work between you two, and tell them the truth. kids deserve the truth about their father and why the marriage didn’t work out. Same goes to any relationship. don’t be a backup once he is done cheating, be a queen and never put your crown down. Wear it so your kids see how brave you are to walk away from a toxic marriage. be co-parents, focus on your kids and yourself. Let him try and find himself and see what he had done. Vows are vows that should be cherished in life. do whats right for you.
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Time to move on. Dump him.
Know your worth !
And do you want your boys to repeat his behaviour ?
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I was married for over 20 years to a cheater. When I finally left he turned my son against me. I still have my daughters love but it has been hard. For my kids I stayed longer then I should have. There is no way you can protect your kids, if you stay you teach your children that you do not honor your worthiness as a woman, if you leave you honor your self worth and with time you heal. Being a single mom is tough I won’t sugar coat it but my daughter’s seeing me smile again and enjoy life again I wouldnt change it for anything. I pray my son will see the truth one day but I can’t stop him from the choices he decides to make. Obviously your husband doesn’t love himself and allows lust to medicate his ego. I realize he can be this way and still be a father to his children but at what cost. If you have sons they are being taught loyalty means nothing and women were put here for sex never respected and honored. Your children will hurt and might be angry but there are counselor’s everywhere get them help if need be. One step at a time and just know I think you are a very strong woman to put up with everything you have he doesn’t deserve you. No matter how hurt you are always be respectful to your children’s dad they will see the truth one day. Let him hang himself but don’t go down with the ship because your hurt. You are worthy to be loved don’t allow yourself to become a doormat .
Two sons wow know that u r blessed ,love them and enjoy…And ignore that shity 
man completely
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I have 3 boys and stayed in an emotionally abusive relationship for the sake of my boys until one day I realised that actually the best thing I could do for both them and me was to leave. You can promote their relationship with their dad still. I promise you they are so much stronger and resilient than we give them credit for. They deserve a happy mum and a positive role model for relationships and how they should be treated and treat people. I have friends who stayed with partners that cheated and treated them badly and as their children got older they had more problems because their kids knew what was going on and had no respect for their mum for putting up with it …or their dad for doing it. Be strong and give yourself the respect and love ya you deserve. Good luck 
xx
I’m sorry but there is no easy way. Hopefully you two can continue to love on your children and respect each other in their presence.
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Why are you still there? He treats you like crap because you let him. Fuck him off.
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Focus on the kids. Get your divorce but don’t use the kids to punish him. Keep co-parenting like adults. And keep any fights between the 2 of you. Don’t damage the kids over adult stuff. My boys are being mentally and emotionally abuse and have been for years now because of my ex. I asked him to let me have a divorce and to keep it civil go the kids sake. He did the exact opposite, just like a typical narcissist. He’s keeping them from me despite court orders, has them brainwashed and has alienated me from them. Don’t you put them through that and don’t let him do it. Those kids deserve better.
Its not a nice place to be…of course trust is gone n u dont get it back overnight.
Who knows how many sexual partners those women have too so just be careful…your health is very important…
If u get sick than who’s gonna take care of your babies?
I wish u the best.
You deserve better and your children need a positive role model! I know it is not easy, I’ve had to do it myself once, but you need to move on! You deserve happiness and how do you want your boys to view how they should treat woman!?
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Explain to the boy see what he says. Don’t pile it on .work on a transition don’t tell the boy lies ask what he would do if one of his friends cheeted or how he would feel if you didn’t do your family tasks.
When you leave him, the younger the kids are the better in my opinion… been there done that! Best decision I ever made for my kids and myself! I found my knight in shining armor after it all. You can too! Xoxo
What more advice do you need? Leave ,he is never ever going to change,he has proven it time and time again,Good luck, get your self respect back and move on,WITHOUT HIM!!
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Cheat always be cheater… Kick him out and collect child support each of childten, and screw him more and ask him for more money. You will enjoy with your sons… Your sons knew he cheat on you. Your sons did not know how to protect you… Dont go back with him, he have aids\ hiv and full germs from another WOMEN. You deserve to be happy… How many men out there millions out of one… Your husband is pornographic person and pea~brains.
I suggest you just be honest with him and ask for a divorce. Tell him you don’t want it to get ugly and get an attorney that will work with you both. Joint custody, split the house etc. it does not have to be ugly, but if you don’t want to be with him anymore best to tell him. When the time comes discuss it together with the kids and assure them you both will be a part of their lives and love them. He will always be in your life because of the kids. It will make things much easier if you can at least handle this like adults. I speak from experience, my previous husband and new husband treat each other with respect. My husband now understands and actually likes my previous husband. Best of luck in your future.
Leave him. You dont deserve to be cheated on ! Your boys will probably hurt and not understand as it seems they are young, but its not their choice. This man is gonna continue to cheat and hurt you. You have to do what is best for you and that is to get rid of this piece of shit. He has no respect for you or his children. Dont think you did anything to make him cheat. He is just one of those who thinks he is god’s gift to women and has a right to cheat. Prove him wrong. NEVER go back He wont change. You are beautiful and have wonderful children. Do not leave them in a home where there is no love or respect. Children learn what they see. Make them better than their dad. Teach them there are consequences when you do wrong. Good luck. You can do this You deserve it. Be with someone you can love and trust
Retain a lawyer without your husbands’ knowledge, get your ducks in a row & leave. He is a serial cheater & will do this your whole life.
it’s better to come from a broken home than to live in a broken home… get out! your kids will understand more than you think!
once a cheater always a cheater. it’s not about you hes the one with the problem…
FAN QUESTION - That you WANT your KIDS to know how to treat their LOVED one that they choose to share their lives with… Seeing mom unhappy & sad ALL because of DAD - NOPE - Sorry but that P.O.S. is CHEATING on his ENTIRE family & needs to either get counselling OR the let the door HIT him in the ASS on the way out. You & your kiddos deserve BETTER & I read that you are at that point. WOMEN supporting WOMEN - Never understood the MISTRESS side did she EVER think that when her time comes - she will feel she NEVER deserved that??WHY DID HE CHEAT ??? BEST WISHES YOU GOT THIS
You need to leave him to be with the woman he wants to be with… get your boys away from that rollmodel and go get yourself a real man to raise your children with.
Your kids are already hurting…you’re hurting
First, it’s going to hurt them no matter what. Second you have to set the example of how a man should treat a women since his father cant. You do that by not bashing there father,and handle your household like a boss! Show them the strength and beauty of a women handling life. There going to be ups and downs. You got this.
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Gwt the hell.out …co parent with each other respectfully. Work out details plans …go on with yr self
4 times that u know of. For every rat u know about there are 100000 that u dont. Leave him he wont stop
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He couldn’t learn from the first so I would just leave him. Don’t be with someone who won’t put an effort into you or anyone else.
Forgive him again and have another baby “turkey” RLV
I would leave him, and let my boys know why. I would teach them that is not the way a real man treats a woman, and make them better men!! You deserve a real man!!!
If you stay your boys will think that kind if behavior is acceptable and treat woman that way. you have to put you first that’s the only way your putting your children first. If your unhealthy unstable they see it and your no good to or for them. That’s all I’m gonna say I don’t know about some of these other comments
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Don’t worry the women he cheated on you with will soon feel his venom. He too will enjoy Karma. Starting planning your exit and move out wisely because the give bun but the cant handle be left alone
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Your gut is telling you already what you know. If he is constantly doing this… not good for you nor your boys. Take charge for you and the kids. You got this girl ! Good luck and sending positive vibes your way
I’ve contacted an attorney and I have filed for a divorce.
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If you stay I feel you are teaching your son’s that cheating on woman is ok. That there is no consequence whatsoever. Then your actions, not your husband’s. Will raise them into men who cheat. They learn by what they see. Leaving your husband will teach your son’s to become better men in my opinion. I have sons and daughters. I’m very careful of what I am accepting of knowing they are all watching and learning from me.
Also you know of 4 times he’s cheated. I can almost bet there will be many other times you are unaware of. Definitely get the lawyer before you leave though. Protect yourself and your boys.
You have to be firm with your decisions, of course your kids would hurt, it’s so hard growing up without a father but that’s the only way you can handle this situation. Can you still live with a cheater? You have to make up your mind of what you’re gonna do. A cheater would always be a cheater no matter what you do. That’s his way of life and he’s enjoying doing it. (That’s the reason why he kept on doing it)he never cared if you’re hurt knowing he cheated- what he cared about was his feelings.No more no less.Get out of that relationship it could be hard but it’s the only option.Explain to your children what’s happening everything would be alright. You have to ask for child support. Make it legal and live with peaceful mind and heart.
I would get the f****** and get the f*** out or put him out don’t look back move forward what the f***
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He’ll continue to cheat as long as there are no consequences
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I’ve heard it said that we “train” the people in our lives how to treat us. You didn’t end the marriage so he knows there is no punishment for his infidelity. The precedent has been set and he knows there are no consequences. If he truly loved you and your boys, he wouldn’t be betraying your love like this. Your boys dont need to know that their father is an adulterer. Now you need to make an exit plan discreetly. Start getting important documents ect…together and make an appointment with an attorney. You need to get this behind you and give yourself and your little ones the start of a new like. Make sure you get full custody, child support, and alimony. Everytime you have a thought that you might be being too harsh, just remember the sacred vow he made to honor you and cherish you meant nothing to him. All the intimate things you and he have done together while making love he has done to other women. You need to heal and give yourself and your boys a good, stable life. Children are incredibly perceptive. While we put on a happy face for them, they sense our heartbreak. If it’s your place, make him leave. If you would rather start fresh in a new place or with family while you recover. I’m sorry you have to go through this. Men are such pigs. Forgive me but there is no other name for someone who would do that to you and your boys. It’s not easy being a single mom, I have some experience in that department. I raised two teenage girls and a baby boy born with autism. My girls are now 32 and 29. My son is nineteen. I’m content where I am and soon you will be too. Good luck and you hold your head high, you are a great mom and a good soul. You have nothing to be ashamed of and putting this relationship behind you is what you need to do for yourself and your sons.
You’re only using your sons as your excuse to keep your mariage.If you want your sons to grow like your husband then be a good wife and just enjoy living with your cheating husband.
Kids are resilient they learn to adjust. You just be the best parent you can, harbor no harsh feelings and move on.
Why are you still married? You are teaching your sons it’s ok to treat women like crap
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Leave now before your kids are old enough to really suffer. The longer you stay the worse you make it for them
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I don’t think you need advice. You already know what to do …
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Leave him, the kids suffer more when you’re not happy. It will be hard starting over, but you should be happy
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I would run 
with my kids and not look back. He is not worth it
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Strike 3 he should have done been gone. It takes 2 to love and it’s obvious he ain’t in that percentile. The Bible justifies divorce for adultery for a reason.
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Its better to live in separate homes, and be happy, than to have your sons see you miserable because you are still living together. Tell him to get out.
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If your happy, your kids are happy, you don’t seem happy now.
Dump his ass. Four freaking times! Ridiculous. Don’t be dumb.
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Divorce him. Why even ask a bunch of strangers? It’ll be worse for your kids if you stay just for their sake.
Yeah leave i seen my mom go through this for 19 years i was like i would have rather had 2 parents that were divorced than 2 that lived like that.
Leave him. Hopefully you guys can coparent.
Don’t stay together because of your children. You will all be miserable. Make hubs leave and just co parent. Cheating never will stop. Then they accuse you of doing it because of their insecurities.
Your boys are suffering now. They see and sense your happiness. They see the way your husband treats you. And if it continues they will learn that is how a man treats a woman. I know you dont want them growing up thinking cheating on their significant others is normal bc they saw Daddy do it to Mommy and she allowed it. Pack your stuff and your boys stuff. File for divorce and custody. Set up a parenting plan with visitation and child support and show your boys happiness.
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You would rather your sons grow up with two happy divorced parents rather than two miserable married parents. It’ll be a lot of adjustment and pain in the beginning but one day they will understand
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Don’t live through your kids. You’ll never be happy. It’s healthier for them to see you happy than putting up with that crap. That relationship is a horrible example for them to see as normal and healthy
If you can afford it, leave now. If not, write down a plan to do what’s necessary to save up and get out. You have the patience of a saint, sweetie. Good luck to you and your precious children!
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Know you’re worth more than this bs. Leave.
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Um lol. Is this even real life??
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Boy bye
Life is too short to be miserable
I’m sorry he sucks
It’s him and nothing to do with you
Alot of the was someone will treat another person in the future is watching their parents. The longer you stay while he does this, the more your sons will think that’s how a relationship works. And if it doesn’t do that, they will suffer watching you suffer. Its better in the long run to get out.
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Marriage after 9 yrs is kinda like that anyway. Count all the good things and weigh against the bad
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Thats not a mistake but a delibret act 4 times .i feel for you as my ex did the same i took him back after the first time but the resentment hurt and trust badly damaged along with my confidence.
I have a loyal partner now who appreciates me and I’ve managed to let go of the hurt and damage done by my ex .
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Ummm leave seriously
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Girl, if he has cheated that many times. You know what you have to do… go with your gut and like the other ladies said, know your worth.
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Bruh. Pull the fucking plug!!! Grow a pair and leave!!! My gosh how naive do you have to be! Kids will be fine no matter what you do. You don’t need to be around a pos like that damn!
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I think no one can advise you on this, I spent 17 years with a guy who I doubt was ever faithful to me. You have to decide how much you are going to put up with and when you have enough and what kind of situation you are in. From the time I realized that I didn’t want to be with mine any more, it still took another 6 years to get into a position to get him out of my house.
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