If you can afford to Leave and take the kids they’re suffering now seeing you unhappy kids can sense thst
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The fact that you stayed after the first time is amazing. You’re a better woman than me. I left after the first time my ex cheated on me and NO kids were involved. You must respect yourself, get the hell out and NEVER look back. You and your kids deserve better.
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2 choices he agrees to couples therapy and you both go and or you File for divorce, pack his stuff and make a co-parenting plan
Get your ducks in a row and leave
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Your kids will understand when they are older… U need to get out of that marriage and fast… Staying is only telling your kids its ok to stay and be unhappy because of kids… They need a happy mother… If you arent good they wont be good… Kids feel peoples feelings and kids are way smarter than people believe…
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My advice : why are you asking for our advice ? You already know he’s going to cheat on you again . Question is …are you ok with that ? Only YOU can answer that question.
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Bye bye. Divorce him!
I’m sorry. Please see the good advice above. He won’t change. 
Make a plan in your head ex. figuring out your lawyer and making an appointment, have people on your corner for when you tell him, know where you are going to go if that’s the case. Also if hes ever shown signs of abuse have someone at the house when you tell him. You need to show your kids a good example of what happiness for their mother (or father if this was the other way around) looks like. 1 time isnt right but 4 times is ridiculous.
If you can afford to leave and do it safely, then just go . No need to explain . If he asks, then keep it short . “I decided I don’t wanna be here anymore . I deserve someone who respects me. Bye”
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Move out. Leave. When someone shows you who they are, believe them. Show your son that’s not acceptable behavior
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Get a good lawyer so you can leave and take all his shit.
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I was you last year, two kids and all. Now I’m not and it’s so nice not to wonder and worry all the time. Leave him and find someone who knows how to treat a woman. They’re out there.
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You must be ray Charles but then again you must know how much more you can endure, sometimes we use kids as excuses what abt your mental health that’s not even a healthy relationship for kids, fear of loneliness can make ppl put up with all sorts of shit
Divorce. You deserve better.
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They are suffering more with you staying.
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Don’t let him take away your value and worth. Every woman deserves more than that. Sometimes it’s more toxic for children for the parents to stay together.
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Get your ducks in row and divorce him . Unless you are ok with him cheating on you .
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So you are showing your child what a relationship looks like… Your choices now is to stay and be in an unhappy unhealthy relationship or leave and either work on your own happiness with the kids and coparent and find someone who sees your worth… Either way you are the example the kids are looking at.
Cheaters never stop… Get out
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Throw him out. Hopefully he will be mature enough to realize how to co-parent. If he wants to step out on his marriage and commitment, let him go. He may realize how costly, not only financially and emotionally, his cheating caused him. Good luck. U deserve so much better
I only read the first line but here’s my advice RUNNNNNNNNNMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM GET THE HELL OUT OF THAT TOXIC RELATIONSHIP
Only way they will suffer is seeing their parents unhappy everyday. Do what’s best for you, the children will not lose their father because you are no longer together. Don’t stay with him because of the children. Make the move, you won’t regret it
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Start planning n saving. Then start you’re new amazing life
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You already know what to do. You don’t need us to tell you.
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You need to leave him as he doesn’t love or respect you as a partner should.
There is no way to stop some hurt from occurring to your oldest but it is better to get it over with the partner Now.
You happy is better than living in a bad emotional relationship for you & the kids.
Staying just enables his continued cheating & disrespect.
Why do u continue to have children with a man who cheats🤔You are teaching your children that this type of behavior is okay because you aren’t standing up for yourself…Know👏Your👏Worth👏Babe👏
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Divorce … and do it on good terms. I stay for 7 years after my husbands first affair. There has been more women and secrets. It will not change. He will not change and you can’t change him. Only you can change you. You are strong and deserve so much more. Mine thought that since he worked hard and I didn’t have to worry about money etc. it was ok. Well to me me it wasn’t. I have learned . I don’t need to apologize for what I demanded if you want to be the man in my life.
Stand your ground. Don’t let him or anyone disrespect you! You are a warrior. But remember always stay and lady and classy…someone your kids will be proud of.
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Ur best thing I would tell u is to take ur boys & move out or have him move out …U need to show ur sons that’s not how life is …U both need trust & with out that u don’t have much …I was a mom with two kids & I left be cuz of the cheating & the beatings …I did it ,u can too …U will be happier
You deserve better and he knows it. He knows once you figure that out he knows you will leave so he is lining up his next victim or safety net
Divorce. Tell your children they are loved by both their mom and dad but mom and dad do not love each other enough to stay married. Only share what the kids need to know and always keeping the other parent in a positive light.
One thing I hate about these women asking for advice is the advice y’all give. Women in abusive relationship are connected to this person either bc they believe they can’t afford to leave or the abuser has told them they will hurt them if they leave or they’ve been told they aren’t shit and nobody wants them and they believe it. For you women to tell another woman she must be crazy or stupid to stay is wrong! I’ve been in an abusive relationship for 8 years. I felt I was stuck there and there was no way out. I certainly wouldn’t want to hear I’m stupid for staying. It becomes a mental illness and each year harder and harder to leave. Obviously her self esteem is shot thanks to this guy, she doesn’t need to feel worse from your opinions. Sister you have to build strength inside of you, if you are unhappy reach out for help, prepare your finances. Whatever choice you make is yours, but you are deserving of better. 
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Honest advice, you know you have to leave but remember show your boys you still respect him, don’t treat him like shit, don’t try to take everything from him, just go your ways and tell the boys that mommy and daddy just didn’t work out. The biggest thing in this is to remember that just because you two couldn’t make it work and he fucked up and you fucked up by taking him back so many times, but that’s not the boys fault and don’t bring them into it. Child don’t deserve to be hurt.
Here is the bigger picture and it’s disease he can bring you home something that there is no cure for. You sit him down and talk to him about it. You both go to a marriage counselor together and separately the counselor can tell you if there’s any chance of saving the marriage. Don’t go to an Attorney that is a big expense neither of you need. Go see a mediator. Work out an agreement you both can abide by and leave the innocent by standers the children out of the whole situation.
Your boys are already suffering this. They’ve known everytime he cheated. They can sense the emotions in the words and actions. You are not doing them any favors by staying together. You instead are teaching them that’s how a marriage should be. Time to be done.
If it’s no longer a shock to you, then that means you know it’s coming and that it’s done for. He clearly has zero respect for you and your boy’s as he can’t just call it quits. If you have any respect for yourself and even for him (as he clearly is too self involved to have that talk with you), you’ll do what needs to be done. It will hurt. An end always does hurt. But beginnings are full of growth, self exploration, and self love. Do yourself a favor and get out before it becomes a thing you are numb to and you waste more time on a guy who could care less of your feelings and his family life. You deserve better than that shit.
Leave him
Better that your boys see both parents happy than a cheating dad and a miserable mum
Respect is the big one. Once you have lost respect … It’s done, and that’s not all bad. You are worth more and better. You matter!
once a cheater always a cheater!
DIVORCE!
The best thing is to leave.The boys can tell Your not happy.Fighting hurts them tension in the home can also but damaging to Your and there’s.So hard to leave one of My hardest but was the best one.
You need to leave and take the boys with you just never bad mouth you ex in front of the boys it just makes it worse for the boys by confusing them on whom they should be loyal to. I had to do this but it was better for everyone to move on and get away from someone i could no longer trust
You really asking for advice sis? 
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Once a cheater always a cheater, you’re doing your children no justice by being with him he clearly doesn’t care about you nor your children leave him.
It wont stop. The trust is gone. Do you and ur kids. The longer u wait the harder it will be for u guys.
I would let him go I wouldn’t take it anymore 1x a cheater always a cheater hes gonna keep hurting you
give him the boot no more chances
I would.talk to him about divorce but co parenting if you want and think you can… Espeically if he is super active in the childs life. So sorry you have to go through this.
A two parent household means nothing if it’s toxic. I say leave and find your happiness. Happy mom equals happy children.
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Have you tried couples and individual therapy?
Leave. My ex husband was a serial cheater and I felt stuck, like I couldn’t leave. Best decision of my LIFE when I left. For both me and my two boys. You will never live in peace if you stay in that situation. You will always be anxious and stressed out. For your health and your children’s, get away asap…
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Find a way to deal with this now. Do you want your sons to grow up like him??
Leave. Once you lose trust in a spouse you never get it back. I stayed until my kids were grown and gone. Biggest mistake ever!
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He is giving you an excuse and a reason to leave… He won’t leave cos he has it too good
Say you are a good day but a shitty husband. Bye.
How many times will it take for you to take a hike?
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Your kids are already suffering seeing you unhappy. They will suffer even more in life if this is their example of marriage and being a husband.
You deserve better. Your son’s deserve better. They deserve a better chance to be good men and an example of a strong woman.
Show them how powerful you really are by putting your happiness first.
“The best thing a man can do for his children is love their Mother.”
Clearly, that isn’t happening as it should. So show them what a strong person does with that.
But…deep down, you know all this. You got this, believe in yourself!
You know about 4 times. I’m betting there are more, he just didn’t get caught or didn’t feel guilty and tell you.
He’s having his cake and eating it too.
HE WILL NEVER CHANGE. Don’t believe anything he says.
Get a plan in order first. Financial and legal. Then get him out of your home.
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Don’t set around for another 9 years things are not going to change except for another child
A happy mum will see happy kids–do this for them and for you.You are a warrior lady you deserve happiness.The stress will continue if you stay.Guaranteed it won’t be easy leaving but put your faith in the Almighty and you will find your feet again.Set yourself free and don’t succumb to the never ending sorries and the ‘I won’t do it agains’ the cheating will continue.Love and light hope you find peace
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Sounds like you have already decided to leave. Do the thing.
It took me 21 years to leave and my 4 children tell me how much they wish I left sooner because they weren’t happy because I wasn’t - please leave for you and them
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Your boy are suffering everyday your in that home and not happy. Your teaching them that what dad did and does is ok
If he loved you and his family he wouldn’t be cheating. From experience he will never stop cheating. Don’t waste your time with him. Get out, you and your children deserve so much more.
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It’s only the 5th time. Give it some more time
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Your kids will suffer more if you stay. They’ll also be brought up thinking that the action of the father are okay. And then the cycle will be repeated. Raise them to be respectable, not deceiving
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Time to change the locks and say bye bye boo boo
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Your sons will learn that cheating is ok. , and feel it is ok to disrespect their wives and the will learn to disrespect you.
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Leave, do 50/50 shared parenting & walk away. The kids don’t have to suffer, don’t be a crazy baby momma. File for divorce & shared parenting.
I lived this life for 20 years, I would stay cause I was taught marriage was forever. I would stay because we had kids, I would make excuses for him, finally no more, we have been divorced 10 years. Our kids ask why I stayed, I told them I didn’t want them to grow up in a broken home. They told me they did grow up in a broken home, cause of our relationship, they wish we had divorced earlier so they didn’t go through all the arguments. We think we are doing right by staying but we are destroying our self esteem. I’m remarried to a great guy who doesn’t cheat and doesn’t think about cheating. For your sake get some counseling so you will be strong enough for your boys to walk away and show them how a wife should be treated and respected
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So your husband cheats and you have a second child with him 
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Divorce and stop having kids with the dude
Unfortunately, there isn’t a way through this without some type of transition or upset. However, it doesn’t mean you have to stay in this situation either. It’s clear your husband has his own issues that make him unfit for this marriage and it’s time to leave. I would be as honest as your children are able to understand at their age. Don’t be afraid to seek counseling during this time for you and your kids and maybe reach out to family to help you come up with a plan to break the news and proceed with the separation. Hope this helps. Wishing you all the best.
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A cheating spouse has nothing to do with the other person in most instances, so remember that you deserve to be happy.
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You have to decide when you have had enough, it doesn’t matter how many people tell you to leave or send him packing - you have to be ready to make that decision.
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Whatever you choose, it is your choice and it will be difficult, but you will get through it.
This is a good resource. I’ve learned a lot from Focus On The Family. They’ve helped me through some difficult times. I hope this helps…
Simple, find a way to leave. He is not a good roll model for your boys
You don’t have to be married to your children’s father for him to still be their father, he just won’t be your husband and be able to cheat on you anymore. He’s made his stance clear that he’ll continue cheating no matter what
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The only advice that I can give you is to leave him. He will continue to do this. You do not deserve to be treated that way.
Honestly, it’s not as if he cheated once and actually cared enough about you to never do it again. He’s going to keep cheating. I would’ve left him after the first time. Just because you aren’t together doesn’t mean he can’t continue to be there for his sons. You need to do what’s best for YOU in this. Once he’s gone you will be free to find someone who actually cares about you respects you. Be strong, good luck
This shit pisses me off. I couldn’t read the whole post. When she got to the “cheated many times” part, I wanted to jump in the phone and shake the hell out of her. This question is simple. Do you like being cheated on and treated like shit? If yes, do nothing. If no, get rid of the asshole. How is that hard?
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I read the first sentence and that’s it. LEAVE. No excuses
Leave? Keeping your son there is the worst thing a parent can do to a child. The worst.
Leave the scum he obviously has no respect or love for you, it’ll be hard on the boys but kids are tough
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Leave and don’t look back!!! You taking him back is saying it’s ok. You need to LEAVE. Your kids will be just fine! They will suffer more watching this fake marriage.
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They’ll suffer more watching a pretend marriage.
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Praying for you girlfriend❤️
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Just leave. Your sons will be ok if you love and support them through it. You have to be prepared to be seen as the bad guy for awhile but in the end it will be ok.
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Staying with him will give a bad example for your kids. You want them to see you happy and how you should be treated. Divorce can be hard on everyone, especially kids, but staying and having them see how he treats you and you being sad all the time isn’t healthy for them or you
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Leave !! Children will suffer seeing mom sad !!
As me and my brother had !!
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You can do better KICK HIS SORRY ASS OUT!!!
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leave girl. you hurt your children more by teaching them its ok to stay with someone even though you dont want to.
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Get rid asap! Find yourself the man you deserve!
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Leave. It will hurt you for the moment but it will hurt for a lifetime if you stay and your boys grow up not seeing their mom happy
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Stupid question. Why are you asking? You know what you want and need to do… Leave!
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Leave him, that’s not a healthy relationship for you or your children!
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Tell him straight up that you no longer have feelings for him and you want a divorce. He needs to go find another place to live. And you two can work together and share joint custody of the kids and still be civil for the kids sake
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Either kick him out or you take your children and leave this is someone not deserving of your Love…
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Been right where you’re at… The boys will be ok. More ok than seeing mama sad. It’s hard. So hard. But it is not worth your dignity or health. . Mental emotional physical. Just go. It’s not going to stop.
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Seeing you unhappy will have the kids suffering. If you can’t forgive him, full heartedly, let it go. Not worth the stress or the pain it will cause in the long run.
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You should totally stay till he cheats a 3rd time., Omg… why are you asking this? Leave his ass .
Picture your son’s doing this someday. The pain it will cause. Do you want them to learn that this is ok? They are young and kids are resilient.
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