I recently went to an in laws wedding which was very nice. It was very pretty. I loved the way it turned out. There were some things that went on during the wedding that I just kind of endured because I didn’t want to “ruin” the brides day or make anything about myself. But, my husband couldn’t even sit next to me & our two children during the ceremony. He had to sit with his mother arm in arm. After the ceremony pictures were being done. The grooms side went first & took a million & a half pictures with family & extended family. When it came time for the brides side, I was just standing back & watching with the kids which was fine. But my mother in law took my 2 month old son & almost refused to give him back. Like, I was literally reaching for him & she wouldn’t let go. (I was talked into naming him after a pregnancy she lost & using the name of what they wanted for a son. Many people have thought that she sees my baby as HER baby now that we’ve used the name) but during the brides pictures my husband went to stand with them to take brides side pictures & someone had to point out that his wife & kids weren’t in the picture & should join. The photographer listed off peoples names that were pre planned to be in photos & me & my children weren’t included so of course I just stood back & watched. But the mother in law insisted. I could tell the bride was hesitant so I tried to say “No, it’s okay. We weren’t on the list.” But the mother in law was persistent. I felt bad for being in the picture when we weren’t planned on it. Following that, during the reception I mainly stood with my children because I wasn’t sure where I was supposed to be sitting. I ended up sitting with my husbands cousins family while my husband once again had to sit with his mother. We were being dismissed table by table to the food. When it came time for my table, my baby was being fussy because he needed to breastfeed. I couldn’t find the cover at home & had to leave without it. So of course I very discreetly began to feed my baby. Someone else at my table offered to make my plate while in line since I was holding my eating baby & holding my toddlers hand. My husband came out of nowhere & told me he didn’t want me upset but the bride & groom wanted me to breastfeed him in the bathroom. I was immediately shocked & didn’t know what to do so I told him I didn’t know what to do in order to feed him because we weren’t supposed to be getting up while tables were being dismissed. I was rushed with my kids to the groomsmens room they used to get ready to feed the baby. I was almost in tears at this point. Almost everyone but myself & my kids were drinking alcohol. While in the room the mother in law bursted in & started hounding me about having my husband get our baby back from who whom she was passing around. Knowing that is something I did not want so he wouldn’t possibly get sick. She immediately came at me because I allowed someone to hold him who had asked. I stayed in that room for a while & honestly didn’t want to come out. I spend almost the rest of the reception without my husband. There was even an anniversary dance where all the married couples danced together & couples were “eliminated” to see who was together the longest. My husband didn’t dance with me which made me so upset I was once again holding back tears. He came to me & said he had requested our song then just walked away & left me alone. The people I was sitting with eventually left so it was just me & my kids alone. I had looked so sad that one of the DJ’s came up to me & said “I don’t know if anyone told you but you look very lovely tonight & your children are adorable.” My husband dropped us off early because I had unexpectedly started my period before the wedding & had to stop at a gas station to buy a cardboard tampon. That had gotten painful for having to leave it in too long. I hesitated on leaving because my husband was supposed to stay & help clean up & I didn’t want anyone mad at us for leaving early. My husbands phone was going off once he got home & as he was about to leave to go back to help, he got a phone call & found out he missed his sister being sent off in the car. He was upset so I apologized feeling that it was my fault. My toddler ended up vomiting 4 times that night. The first time on herself, the floor, & me. She was so upset because she got it on her dress & said, “Oh no, my dress!” I reassured her that she wasn’t in trouble & mommy would clean everything up & take care of her. I feel bad for being upset & having my feelings hurt, mainly by my husband. Feel free to offer advice, opinions, & input. Thank you.
I’m so sorry that’s how your night went. I really don’t understand why he was gone for so long… I know it’s a family thing & he wants to be able to celebrate with them but why couldn’t he include you guys? I don’t get it, I would be upset too honestly. Me just being me… I wouldn’t attend any parties or events anymore with his family. There’s no reason for them to make you feel like that… I mean even the DJ came up and said something to you (which is super nice but still). I also don’t understand why you wouldn’t be in pictures? That’s your husbands sister, I can see wanting strictly mom dad brother and other siblings but why wouldn’t they add in spouses and their kids? I don’t know, it just seems like they don’t care that much about their relationship with you so I wouldn’t attend anything anymore. Plus the fact that your mother in law acts like it’s her baby would rub me the wrong way. I understand her situation and why she would be like that but that’s ridiculous… it’s YOUR child, she needs to let you be a mom. She already got that experience. Sorry if that’s harsh, but I know the feeling of someone else trying to be your child’s mom and I can’t stand it.