I recently went to an in laws wedding which was very nice. It was very pretty. I loved the way it turned out. There were some things that went on during the wedding that I just kind of endured because I didn’t want to “ruin” the brides day or make anything about myself. But, my husband couldn’t even sit next to me & our two children during the ceremony. He had to sit with his mother arm in arm. After the ceremony pictures were being done. The grooms side went first & took a million & a half pictures with family & extended family. When it came time for the brides side, I was just standing back & watching with the kids which was fine. But my mother in law took my 2 month old son & almost refused to give him back. Like, I was literally reaching for him & she wouldn’t let go. (I was talked into naming him after a pregnancy she lost & using the name of what they wanted for a son. Many people have thought that she sees my baby as HER baby now that we’ve used the name) but during the brides pictures my husband went to stand with them to take brides side pictures & someone had to point out that his wife & kids weren’t in the picture & should join. The photographer listed off peoples names that were pre planned to be in photos & me & my children weren’t included so of course I just stood back & watched. But the mother in law insisted. I could tell the bride was hesitant so I tried to say “No, it’s okay. We weren’t on the list.” But the mother in law was persistent. I felt bad for being in the picture when we weren’t planned on it. Following that, during the reception I mainly stood with my children because I wasn’t sure where I was supposed to be sitting. I ended up sitting with my husbands cousins family while my husband once again had to sit with his mother. We were being dismissed table by table to the food. When it came time for my table, my baby was being fussy because he needed to breastfeed. I couldn’t find the cover at home & had to leave without it. So of course I very discreetly began to feed my baby. Someone else at my table offered to make my plate while in line since I was holding my eating baby & holding my toddlers hand. My husband came out of nowhere & told me he didn’t want me upset but the bride & groom wanted me to breastfeed him in the bathroom. I was immediately shocked & didn’t know what to do so I told him I didn’t know what to do in order to feed him because we weren’t supposed to be getting up while tables were being dismissed. I was rushed with my kids to the groomsmens room they used to get ready to feed the baby. I was almost in tears at this point. Almost everyone but myself & my kids were drinking alcohol. While in the room the mother in law bursted in & started hounding me about having my husband get our baby back from who whom she was passing around. Knowing that is something I did not want so he wouldn’t possibly get sick. She immediately came at me because I allowed someone to hold him who had asked. I stayed in that room for a while & honestly didn’t want to come out. I spend almost the rest of the reception without my husband. There was even an anniversary dance where all the married couples danced together & couples were “eliminated” to see who was together the longest. My husband didn’t dance with me which made me so upset I was once again holding back tears. He came to me & said he had requested our song then just walked away & left me alone. The people I was sitting with eventually left so it was just me & my kids alone. I had looked so sad that one of the DJ’s came up to me & said “I don’t know if anyone told you but you look very lovely tonight & your children are adorable.” My husband dropped us off early because I had unexpectedly started my period before the wedding & had to stop at a gas station to buy a cardboard tampon. That had gotten painful for having to leave it in too long. I hesitated on leaving because my husband was supposed to stay & help clean up & I didn’t want anyone mad at us for leaving early. My husbands phone was going off once he got home & as he was about to leave to go back to help, he got a phone call & found out he missed his sister being sent off in the car. He was upset so I apologized feeling that it was my fault. My toddler ended up vomiting 4 times that night. The first time on herself, the floor, & me. She was so upset because she got it on her dress & said, “Oh no, my dress!” I reassured her that she wasn’t in trouble & mommy would clean everything up & take care of her. I feel bad for being upset & having my feelings hurt, mainly by my husband. Feel free to offer advice, opinions, & input. Thank you.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My husband hurt my feelings at a family wedding
Please know your feelings are valid. Your husband and his mom are in the wrong. I’m so sorry you endured this. My heart hurts for you!
this broke my heart. Your husband is an a…
Get out now. Period.
You handled this a lot better than I would have so give yourself credit for that he would have had my dinner plate to the head if he was mine. I don’t know him but it seems to me that he doesn’t validate your feelings. It hurt to read this and I can’t imagine feeling this way. Speak to him and see how he would feel in this situation and make sure he knows how wrong he is
I think this is why most weddings ask that you don’t bring kids, it’s just not a place for kids. It’s hard on the parents too. But your husband is also a , I would get away from that family quick. So Toxic
I’m not sure it was “just your husband”…I kinda think your mother in law is a toxic bitch and you are too nice to her. The family did a pretty good job of excluding you from feeling like family - your husband, your sister in law, and your mother in law. And it was apparent to everyone there if a DJ you didn’t even know felt the need to comfort you. When I was a young woman, my own mother in law tried this stuff with me. Here’s what I did: I told her “My baby will be named “dogsh*t Davis before I let you name her 'Kim””, and I stuck to that. When she tried to exclude me from riding with the family in the limousine at a funeral, I took my children home and I refused to visit that woman for one solid year. She found out pretty quick that if I didn’t come around, the grandkids didn’t come either and neither did her son. She cleaned up her act. You are the mother of her grandchildren, the spouse of her son, and you deserve respect. If they won’t give you respect, it is pretty easy to withhold your visits and your children. And by the way, it is also easy to change a name on a birth certificate and that is the first thing you ought to do, just to serve that nasty woman notice. I feel for you, I really do, I’ve been there - but I also reared back and gave my tormenter a big bite in the seat of her pants and you can too. Don’t underestimate the power you have.
Also, give yourself a big pat on the back for acting like a lady, but get in gear and put an end to this disrespect.
You handled it better than I would have. Your feelings are definitely valid. Hurt my heart to read this. His family sounds toxic.
It’s only going to get worse. I would look into getting away from this toxic family ASAP.
Find a therapist. You will realize your worth. Also give up the idea that you don’t want to break up the family. Your children are better off with a happy healthy mom. Not growing up thinking this is the treatment wives should get. Get stronger with the therapist make a plan and leave him. If there is any domestic violence find a shelter and leave soon. You can do it and find the person who will love you and your children. When you decide to leave go to the courthouse in your area and file for temporary full physical custody of your children. You will leave that day with legal paperwork , so dad can’t just take the kids, and a court day for a custody hearing. Talk to God. Prayers.
The childfree/childless movement Def started this mistreatment of women in public places. Jesus. Your husband couldn’t be bothered because he was ready to have fun. If I was you, I would have never showed up. And I would have used that chance to pack my stuff and move. His family don’t like you. He don’t like you. I know how this feels. It don’t get better. Please protect your peace.
Ah my heart actually hurts for you what a disgusting family to make you feel like you did you have his children which makes you family and they should have included you on the wedding but sound like self centered idiots , your 100% in the right and I’d make it clear to your husband what an ass he’s been tell him straight his first priority should have been you and his children
Your husband is not married to you. He’s married to his mother. You stayed there longer than most would have. The from the moment he chose to leave you alone and sit with mommy I would’ve walked out.
Drama. Like Damn, did none of you grow up from high school? Like your adults, use your words to deal with your suitation… jeeze 🤦
I had a similar situation with an in law wedding and my children… my now ex husband was military and couldnt attend the wedding but my 3rd child the only girl in the whole fam was the flower girl so I felt obligated to take the kids all 3 of them not just my daughter needless to say my children and I were treated like we didnt exist except my daughter and they only wanted to involve her for pics the other nephews were incorporated into the wedding hes mother treated us like we were a complete inconvenience to them and just in the way my boys were upset I was upset we didnt see that side of the fam for a long time after that as we didnt live in the same state thank goodness but I refused from then on to do things with them without my then husband I also refused to go out of my way for them and there family functions now that we are divorced those people never see my kids and that’s not because of me it because they dont ask and I refuse to deal with his mother period because she treats me with such little respect …just because u married someone doesn’t mean u have to deal with being disrespected and be treated like a 3rd class citizen by his fam…u have ever rt to say f off!!!
This entire post is off to me honestly. Your married to the brides brother but she didn’t want you or your kids in any pictures? You were forced into naming your baby after your mother in laws loss? And now she’s acting like the mother of your baby? Your husband had to sit by his mother instead of his wife? Your husband ignored you at the reception and forced you to sit in a room by yourself to feed your baby? Honey. There is so many red flags with this family. You need to run. Now. Before it gets worse and your kids start realizing it.
Sorry your husband and MIL are both assholes for treating you and the kids in this manner.
First, you are an incredible mommy!
Second, I know it hurts but I’m assuming his mom and sister had put some pressure on him and his place in the wedding. They’re all definitely wrong for not considering how it could’ve made it stressful on you, handling 2 kids alone in an environment like that isn’t easy. You handled it well momma.
First off I am sorry this happened. You have the right to feel upset. You handled it a whole better then I would have. I understand about the pictures but asking you to go to the restroom to feed the baby. That’s a nope for me. I know a lot of people choose to have a kid less wedding but it seems like kids were able to come of your were there.
About the MIL it will only keep going this way if you let it. You have to put your foot down. It will be hard but of your husband will not do it you have to.
I feel like this isn’t the first time your needs, wants and voice was silenced and put in a corner. I’m so sorry. You are important, valuable, lovable and worth so much more than being treated like this. Please find a therapist, they will teach you tools in order to understand your inherent value and not tolerate this kind of disrespect. You deserve better.
Girl this is how my in-laws treat me only my husband won’t put up with it! We had a family Christmas dinner one year and his aunt came up to our table where he, our son and myself sat and told him to come sit with them. “You should sit with you family.” He said this is my family! A lot has happened since and my husband has cut them all out of our life’s.
Get out that is just toxic and he obviously doesn’t care how you feel and you never should’ve named your baby after his mom’s unborn child
Opinion? Your husband is a dick and so is his family. You need to go see a counselor and figure out how to get away from him. Your life is going to be nothing but miserable because this is all it’s going to ever be. I’m sorry that this sounds harsh… But he is selfish and self absorbed and so is his family.
My first relationship was like this. It was so awful. In my situation he ended up being very abusive to me and my daughter and we left. But the family was just like this. I remember at a funeral I was stuck at the grandmother came out took my child and left me for hours I couldn’t find her she was showing her off to the family and I was kicked aside. I decided that if you have no respect for the mother you do not get permission to the child. Period! Your husband should have stood by his family the entire time not his mother and should have spent the evening with you and the kids enjoying the wedding. He sounds like a pos to throw his family off and not look back. The best thing I ever did was leave that disfunction
He sounds like a pretty horrible partner in life.
I feel this to my core. bless you and your little ones. I would not have handled that with such grace. You were at a family function and you had zero support. Please address some boundaries with your “husband”, he’s supposed to protect and care for you, and if you continue this marriage avoid these situations at all cost. Make some YOU time. Make him be responsible for his children and go get a coffee or something.
I’m sorry but you really need to give yourself more credit and it sounds like your husband is not such a great husband you did everything to please his family and you should not be saying sorry he should be saying sorry to you and your kids. My husband would never leave me alone at a family event especially with 2 kids
You handled that A LOT better than I would have. I would have chewed my husband out multiple times then grabbed the keys and left.
I don’t have any advice but I didn’t want to read and run. My heart hurt for you reading this. Please don’t think it’s okay to be treated like this, you are a queen
You handled that situation like a champ. However I think it’s time to reevaluate your marriage. It seems to me that your husband never once thought of you or your children that night.
Honestly reading this my heart just hurts for you. I don’t understand the utter disrespect and disregard for your feelings by the man you are supposed to believe will always have your back. I’m just at a loss for words. I really hope you realize none of that was your fault and you deserve so much better.
You should NEVER feel bad when someone hurts your feelings, they are the one that should feel bad. It doesn’t matter who that person is. You are 100% justified in feeling the way that you do, not only in this situation, but in any situation. In your shoes, I would have addressed the issue with my husband right then and there. Had he not backed me up, especially with the whole passing the baby around thing, I would have then spoken up for myself. Keep that in mind in future situations. When you marry someone, you’re a team, always. You should always be able to 100% express yourself to your spouse. You shouldn’t have to walk on egg shells. If you do, you may be in the wrong relationship. With that being said, address this issue with your husband, gage his reaction and go from there. If he is dismissive of your feelings, you have bigger issues than what happened at the wedding. Find your voice mama, and always stand up for yourself and your children
He definitely should’ve included you more. It’s his job to make sure you don’t feel left out or out of place with HIS family.
I am so sorry this has happened to you, he should should of been there for you stuck up for you. You and your children are his family he made he shouldnt treat you like that. He doesnt deserve you x
Your husband and family were dicks. They were the problem not you
OMG to the MIL and naming the child after a lost child of hers! I have also had that experience with her thinking baby is hers! I am so sorry!
I’m sorry but F*** him and his family
I didn’t read this long diatribe but your husband is a piece of work that neither loves you or respects you. If it were me, I’d be moving on. You will eventually because you’ll realize it too
You need to leave. SCREW HIM and the level of disrespect.
That family, and your husband, sound like a complete nightmare. The mother in law is absolutely sickening, I’m so sorry you have to deal with them. You certainly deserve better, and please know not all mother in laws and family in laws are like that, as I have learned. There are families out there that truly treat you like part of the immediate family. I pray that you find the right man and family in the future, and when you do… don’t let them go.
You and your children should be your husbands first priority at all times. Once married y’all are his first family. He should be upset with his sister and mother on how they treated you and the children. None of this is okay. I lived like you for a long time. The hurt does not go away but my husband now realizes we should be his priority.
I stopped reading when u said about him coming over and asking u to go in the bathroom. I would have blew up on him way before this for Abandoning you and your kids. Like dude I’m here holding our two kids and can’t even make myself a plate. Straight up fuck that!
Your “husband “ should have spoken up for you and been a man/father and helped you with the kids.
Your husband sounds like a d*ckhead ! You and his children should have been tended to and helped first before his mommy. Quit worrying about his family and just take care of yours. You should always be his priority, then he can deal with everyone else
Change your baby’s name.
To add to what others said, you should look up emotional incest. That to me seems like what’s going on with his mom. That’s super toxic and unhealthy and she needs to cut the cord and work out her codependency issues. She is NOT his wife and your baby is NOT her baby. She needs therapy.
I would have grabbed my kids and left. The level of disrespect your husband showed you is unacceptable. You and the kids are his family.
That is unacceptable. Your husband should have been with you helping you with the kids. End of story. He has no respect for you.
I’m so sorry. You handled it with such grace. I would have flipped the fuck out and made a scene. That’s why I don’t go many places. I’m no good at handling disrespect.
No offense but it sounds like your letting everyone including him walk all over you. If I was put in the pedrictament once I be gone. Those are my fucken kids and screew anyone who dont like it including my husband. You allow things to happen. Time to put your foot down and stand up for yourself and kids. Your to dependent on your husband.
Your husband is in the wrong. And had this been my husband I would have taken my children and left. For him to spend no time with you there, not help you at all, and to top it off allowing his family to treat you that way… no thanks! You have every right to be upset.
Wait, your sister in law got married and didn’t include you or your children in her photos…
Ummm what? Are you even part of the family…
At my wedding I took a picture with everyone & their Momma!
Next time your ever in a position like that you need to hold your head up high and say, excuse me I need to sit here next to MY HUSBAND!
He needs to know how he made you feel that night and if he can’t fix that… I’m sure you’ll figure out the next statement
You’re husband and the rest that made you feel small are assholes. I’m sorry Mama
They all sound very toxic and you did so so well to keep composure and not loose your shit. Honestly felt for you reading through that hope your ok xxx
Ever heard expression kick him to the curb !!!
He sounds like JFK. He pulled this crap on Jackie at his inauguration. She had just had a C-section. I think he was an asshole and my opinion of your husband is about the same. I would make it very clear that I won’t tolerate this behavior again. If it happens again, I would tell him I will leave immediately and he can find his own way home. Plus, if that happens, no backlash from him. This would not be a discussion.
ooooooo… you got a mamas boy. I just wouldnt go to anymore events…especially the ones where you are not directly invited by the host/hostess. IF your husband notices be honest…if he notices only because his mother is a troll… be even more honest… and remind him that he didnt take vows with his mother. Whatever you do… do what is best for you and those babies. They will get old enough they see the way grandma behaves and think it is ok to treat people that way.
Wow your husband and family sound awful! That mother n law is absolutely horrible! I’m sorry you had to deal with that!!
I’m sorry for ur pain, I can honestly say if ur husband does not get his act together, use this time to get on ur feet and when u strong enuf walk away from this. Don’t make hasty decisions bt make urself be in a position to be strong for urself n ur kids. Sending lots of love ur way n to others in these situations
I get you don’t need to be up each other’s behind at every event nor every second but this here just draws the line and the breastfeeding part you did better than me I would have straight lost it on someone. Everyone else shoving food in their mouth what’s the difference that baby is eating. Never allow someone to disrespect you. If he can’t respect the babies and you, it’s time to move on to someone who will. My blood boils for you. Best of luck mama I hope and pray you get the answers you’re looking for here.
Your husband is a pos, like you poor thing. I would have found a way to just leave because you and your kids obviously weren’t welcomed. I’m really, really sorry and you deserve so much better than him. There is no excuse for all the shit he did
Lot like the story of my SIL wedding. At mine my MIL griped because my 3vyr old brother and 2vyr old sister were there, she even went off on my 6 and 10 yr old sisters because SHE HAD DECIDED “NO KiDS AT MY WEDDING.” At her daughter’s wedding, she decided that my 2 girls had to attend at 8 months and 18 months so her relatives could meet them. She got them some nylon velvet dresses that crushed and wrinkled when touched so they looked like they rolled all the way to the church after I picked them up in the dresses. Then I was left alone during the seating at the wedding with both babies and at the reception, she never let anyone visit with the girls so none if her relatives saw them, which was why she insisted they attend. I sat away from all the others at the reception and only saw my husband when we entered the church. Fortunately I had brought a blanket for each of the girls and changed their fancy chrushed looking dresses for some church dresses I put them in to go to the church, where I dressed them in the crushable dresses. I put them on the blankets in the floor well away from the action of the reception and it was the only time my MIL came to see them and griped they they were on the floor and not in the middlebifbthevreceotion that she had chased me away from earlier, and didn’t wear their “nice” dresses but had on trashy dresses. Her hate showed through greatly at that time. After the reception, when we left I carried the sleeping 8 month old and my big diaper bag and coaxed a sleepy 18 month old to walk with me to our car with my now X screeching at me to hurry up, he wanted to get home, but never helped me at all. Wished that I had left the babies with my mom’s neighbor for the wedding and mom could get them when she went home. I and they would have been much happier. I grew up not knowing I could actually stand up for myself, but learned quickly after that fiasco.
Girls are not 59 and 58 and sin us 55 so that was over 55 years ago. Still a sjre point in my memory that I put up with all that crap.
Unacceptable so sorry you had to deal with this
Your husband sounds like a total jerk. I’d have left the second I started feeling uncomfortable. With or without him.
I would’ve flipped out on the mother in law. Called my family to come get me and my kids and left him to deal with mommy dearest while I pack all my shit and leave. You want to be with him. You do not have to be with him! Big difference that people like him forget about.
YOU need to standup for yoself.
Hubby sounds like a right prick
Totally unacceptable and I’m very sorry you had to go through that. He should’ve been helping with his kids. You should’ve been included as well. Your MIL sounds like a pain in the butt. I don’t know what it is but MIL with their sons get controlling sometimes. I would’ve been upset too and your feelings are completely valid.
How long were you married after that. It took me 2 more years to send mine back after the fiasco of his sister’s wedding. His behavior was “as long as I get my face full no one else matters,” and his mom backed him every time so I eventually sent him back to her.
You need to learn to speak up for yourself a lot of this would’ve been avoided. I wish someone wouldn’t give me my back? Why would you let that happen?
Wrong in so many ways! Husband needs to grow a set of balls and get off the tit. He has a family now. And the mother law needs to know her place. Speak up for yourself. Dont let them run over you!
He’s a TERRIBLE husband tbh. I get spending time with the family at the wedding but what about HIS family that he created with you? The way he did things and behaved was completely unacceptable
You’re husband sounds like a real p.o.s and his family seems toxic af. If you’re not ok with being treated like that then you need to try marriage counseling cuz I guarantee he doesn’t see a problem with how he acted.
Girl, you’re more woman than me cause THIS mfer right here would have made a scene and crashed the whole damn party. Your husband should have been the one putting respect on your name but he sounds like a titty baby.
This just makes my heart hurt for you. No one deserves that kind of treatment from their person. You are worth so much more than that. Find a man who is proud to have you on his arm and not his mama.
When they asked me to feed my child elsewhere, I would have went home. I would not let anyone humiliate me and my children, especially my husband. He’d change or he’d be changing homes. Any man worth his weight would have taken his family home, when they asked his wife to feed her child somewhere else.
You should have left sooner than what you did. No way I would have put up with that mess. Some families suck.
Your husband is a douche, and the rest of his family sound toxic.
Never call a baby after someone else, it’s your baby, they deserve their own name… make sure hubby pulls his head in or tell him to back seat an leave, ignoring you an dismissing you and the kids is wrong
They are allll assholes you deserve better cut them all off you had to juggle your period,mil,breastfeeding,and they treated you like straight garbage throw away him and his family im so upset at how you were treated
Your husband is a wimp. You were deliberately excluded from this wedding despite being a close family member and your husband not only didn’t stand by you but was not there for his own children. This is so sad. I really feel for you.
Ugh I feel so bad for you! This sounds awfully humiliating. Shame on your husband for not being with you, supporting you, or standing up for you. Absolutely a shame.
Your husband’s an ass
You’re husband is an ass and his family sound like asses too. I would be damned if I named my baby a name shitty mil wanted also.
Ur husbands an asshole allowing u to get treated and feel that way…his family sound just the same… apple dosnt fall far from the tree. Makes me mad they didn’t include u I’ve been there and know how that feels… I wouldn’t go to anymore family events and honestly I would be thinking about leaving him
you sound so sweet, i’m sorry you were put in this situation by your husband. I understand the ceremony seating…. although my husband would not sit without his immediate family( me and our daughter) and he absolutely would not be apart from us during the reception. You deserve the same.
It sounds like you are a sweet woman who tried to leave all attention on the bride. That’s amazing! but don’t forget you are the voice of your children who are also being excluded.
First of all, your husband should never ever allow anyone to treat you or his children that way. He should have stood up for you making you all more comfortable. Second. You need to learn to stand up for yourself and your children. Nobody can force you to name your child what they want! Change it if it’s not really what you wanted. Take your child out of the hands of anyone who is holding them when you are ready to take them back! I would seriously reconsider the entire marriage if my husband ever made me feel like I didn’t belong somewhere with our children.
Girl there would of been a scene…I would of took my children and left. Def mommas boy needs to grow up. Sorry girl u clearly see we’re u stand
This made me sad, I’m sorry you went through that!
I think I would have a long conversation with my husband if this were me and I wouldn’t be attending any more of his family functions unless there was an apology from them.
He’s a terrible parent and partner. Def demand counseling and start aligning your ducks bc he’s shown you exactly how much he considers you and the kids.
And personally that’s be the side of family we never see just for them trying to force you to feed a baby in bathroom!
Omg that sounds like a horrible day for you and im sorry.I think you and hubby need to have a conversation about how these types of events should go while your kids are little bc its unfair that he put you in that position of taking care of every situation with the kids,sitting alone and having his family shove you behind a door to feed your baby.Please stand up for yourself because nobody should be walking all over you like his mom snatching up your baby whenever she feels.Time for you and your husband to talk and set boundaries and acceptable behaviors from him and his family or you need to refuse to be at those events.
Your husband sounds like a lil b*****!!!
I’m so sorry you married into that kind of family.
You’re better than me. Bride’s day or not, my husband would not disrespect me like that. There is not an excuse. Most weddings my husband and I always sit together. The only time this has not happened was when he was his friend’s best man. However, once the ceremony was over he was back by my side. If your husband was not in the ceremony there was no reason for him not to sit by you or have you sit with him if he needed to be by his mom. As far as the pictures go, those generally are of the wedding party. The time when my husband was the best man, I did not participate in the wedding photos, I stood back. Once again, when it was over, he was back by my side.
My mother-in-law would also learn some boundaries. My baby, my rules.
You went to a wedding, and your husband didn’t sit by you or dance with you all night? Unacceptable.
Your husband is doing the minimum, though. If I had started my period before the wedding my husband would have made sure I had what I needed. I wouldn’t have to deal with a cardboard tampon from a gas station. He would legit show up late to the wedding in order to make sure I’m good. Don’t accept anything less.
God if that was me I would of told my husband to go f himself and said f your sister too BYE . But you seem like you just felt upset. I’m truly sorry you felt that way . You sound so laid back and gentle . But it isn’t on and I feel for you so much xxxx
Sounds like the whole family treats you like crap I honestly would completely disconnect myself from them and your husband. If you can’t leave him, leave him emotionally. Live your life for you and your kids from here on out. You’ll get over it in time but he will have to watch you lose respect for him.
Throw your whole ass husband and his family in the trash. Disrespectful all the way around. The family you make should be more important than the one you came from and it sounds like he didn’t give a shit about his kids or you the entire time. Tell him its time he got off tit and thought for himself or you were done… Id have walked all the way out the front door with my tits out when they asked me to feed my baby in a bathroom. Sorry not sorry thats disgusting behaviour from all of them to intentionally exclude you from family photos and such. Get out before your kids have to deal with generational toxicity as well…
That’s not a husband. That’s an asshole. Your mother in law is also an asshole.
Your husband is a douche. He should have spoken up for you. He shouldn’t have let his family purposely leave you out either… as for mother in law, she needs to learn her place, your baby your rules. Don’t know what it is with toxic mother in law’s and thinking they rule everything. Sounds like emotional incest and she needs therapy. she needs to get a life of her own. Disgusting behaviour.
The fact that he asked you to feed his child in the bathroom is what disgust me. You did nothing wrong feeding your little one discreetly. It made me happy to see they offered to fix you a plate, so they obviously knew you were breastfeeding, and it wasn’t an issue (that should never be an issue in my opinion) and they offered to help you more than your own husband did. Literally no way I would tolerate that. His priorities should be you and your kids, not mommy. I would literally legally change my child’s name before I allow anyone to try to take my child as if it’s their own. That’s a sickening mindset to have honestly, and I wouldn’t be comfortable with it at all. Your baby, your rules. And never be afraid to put your foot down and call him out, don’t allow him to silence you to just “keep the peace” so to speak. Don’t blame yourself for anything, and don’t apologize for being in pictures. He was in the wrong in every way, then went back after your little one threw up so much. He should of told them he has a sick one, and he will stay home to help you and your little one. This broke my heart to read, it makes you feel defeated and silenced, and no one deserves that, ever. If he cannot set boundaries with his mother, then I would kick him to the curb, because it doesn’t get better as time goes by.