I have two toddler boys. My husband is an alcoholic and NOT physically abusive towards us. My kids are safe and will stay that way. My husband has this thing where he gets the urge to leave and go out and do god knows what, so he will make up some reason to argue with me. Last night he went through my phone and pulled up FB messages from guys from like six years ago (we’ve been together for four years). Called me a cheating whore and said if I want them to go for it… he left, and I went to sleep (the kids were already asleep when all this happened). Apparently, he came back at some point when I was sleeping and took my purse, which has my wallet and car keys… I already reported all my credit/debit cards stolen, but now I and the kids are stuck at the house with no way to leave, and I have to work today. This is not the first time he’s done this type of thing… its pretty common. I’m so done. Would any of you stay in a relationship like this? I can give any more of chances
You’re letting your children see his behavior and if you take him back, you’re showing them it’s ok. Have a plan and leave when you’re able. It won’t be easy but like will be better! 
He needs help and you need to go.
Nope, take the kids and leave
Honey this is called emotional abuse. So yes you’re being abused and he needs help. Get a plan together for yourself and children if he doesn’t seek help for his addiction. This is NOT okay for children to see
Your kids aren’t safe and neither are you. Leave and never look back
Would you want a friend or family member in this relationship you described?
You deserve what you want for a friend or family so expect the same for yourself.
Set an example for your children.
You need to leave. Your children deserve better. His never going to change. He is verbally abusing you.
Get out my mum had a boyfriend like this when I was younger although he was physically abusive it didn’t start like that but he did lock us in the house n take my mums money ect you need to get them out it not a good thing for them to see even if it’s not physically abusive they’re still aware of what’s happening and it will 100% still effect them
Leave or tell him to leave.why should you have to give up your and the kids home.
Your kids are not safe if they are living under the same roof as an alcoholic that’s bullshit.
Leave now. It will get worse, not better.
No! Tell him to leave, you need a home for the kids and you!
Get out while the getting out is possible and safe
No, it’ll only get worse. Next thing you know, you’ll be getting calls that he crashed the car or is in jail on DUI charges. From experience, please get out before it goes down that road. Good luck!
Why are you putting yourself through the pain and staying with him if this happens a fair bit he obviously does not care what he is doing i think you need to leave him for yours and the kids sake there would be no way i would put myself through that
You said it yourself:
“I’m so done.”
Kick his ass to the curb girl
I was with someone that did the same thing for 12 years and it never changed, it morphed and evolved into different but same antics and he always tried to project his problems onto me. I promise this will never change, you will have this stress and misery until you are free and not with him. He took my keys and left me unable to go to work 3 times amongst dozens of other things.
No it’s not ok, but there are ways and help available if that’s what u choose! Only u can say when enough Is enough! Hope u get things sorted! The boys should come first though
Leave and leave asap. You nor your children deserve that.
No, walk away while you still can. Don’t let him teach your sons how to “treat” a woman. May God bless you and your family sweetheart
When he does come back I would leave, hide your keys when you go to sleep,
He may not be physically abusive but verbally is not acceptable either. Walk away now, because his actions can change at any moment. Do not risk it!!
If you had a daughter and she told you this would you want her to stay? If your boys treated their woman like that would you allow it? I think you already know your answer, you want validation from others.
No tell him to leave you deserve better and so do your kids
Know your worth!!! Who in their mind right would EVER STAY WITH A CONTROLLING LOSER LIKE THIS!!! Run and run fast. I’d fear what he’d do, when he came home and I was asleep but didn’t know he returned!! So you and the kids aren’t always safe, if he returns and steals from you, which is taking from them also. Leave…Divorce…Custody…Child Support!!! Hell supervised visits and psych evaluation done for.
Taking your money and such is taking away from the kids. Stealing from you and calling you name is emotional abuse. Both good reasons to leave.
Put your kids and yourself first & put any feelings you have for him to the side. He needs to grow up & wont if you’re there being a pushover.
Wish my mum had asked this question years ago…she stayed so we kids had to also…please don’t stay 
Force him into treatment by leaving.
Go girl go when you can
My kids dad is a drug addict. He likes to steal my car as Well. I kept letting it go and wouldn’t go through with charges. Well this time, he stole everything from me ans almost got me fired from my job. My son was the one who comforted me. He totalled my car this time and I went through with the charges but they were dropped because of me not following through with them beforehand. It feels like he can do whatever he wants to me because I chose to have kids with him. I love him, more than anything but with that being said I do not ever want my son to see me like that again. I do not ever want him to think that’s okay to treat his partner like that or in any way think this is normal because it’s not. I’m pregnant and due in Dec with a little girl. After I found that out, I kicked him out and luckily he got arrested shortly after. I want my daughter to love herself and I don’t want her to have low standards for love ans how she should be treated.
I’m not saying he won’t ever change. I’m working on 4 years clean from EVERYTHING so there is hope for us addicts just everyone’s rock bottom is different. He does this because you allow it. Stand up for yourself and your kids and please leave. If you ever need to talk feel free to message me💜 sorry for the long comment.
My father was an alcoholic, it only gets worse. He’ll eventually get verbally abuse to you and the kids, then start spending rent money on alcohol and lottery tickets, at least in my case.
Leave. Report your car stolen too.
Get out while you still can . There is someone out there that will be better for you and your kids .
Do what Brianna says ASAP!!
Nah, emotional abuse is still abuse. Alcoholism is taking money away from the children that could be better used to put towards things like college, emergency room copays, etc. If one of your babies got hurt enough to need to go to the hospital (but not ambulance worthy) what would happen? Hes being selfish, disrespectful and abusive and you need to get out.
Leave. File a restraing order for your protection. Get safe now!
Get out as it’s the same thing he had no right to go through your purse and take your money and your car keys
I’d say if he wasn’t an Alcoholic then later. But if you think that, that’s the problem then I’d give him an ultimatum. Rehab for his drinking problem or bye! You can only deal with so much. Your kids might not know exactly what’s going on but im sure they know somethings not right.
It comes down to this"do you want your kids to accept this behavior as normal? ".
If u think u are keeping this from the kids…ur not …they are little sponges…they absorb all of it…take the kids and go so u can build a better life for them.
No, what are you waiting for. He does’t care about you or his kids if this is how he treats you. You need to think of yourself and kids
Please leave you or your kids don’t deserve this where are you at there is help
Leave and report ur car
Nope that’s called an abusive relationship you do not deserve to be treated like shit and staying will only teach the kids that that’s how a man acts and it’s not
Sounds like youve reached ur saturation point…its diff for diff people…
This may now hinder your job and that hurts your kids of you can’t provide that’s not ok no matter what I’d leave specially if it’s not the first time .
It will escalate to violence don’t continue with this please. My mother did and was killed along with himself left 3 girls orphans
My husband was an alcoholic and died in 2014. He was very abusive. I left twice, but always came back. For the sake of your kids, please leave. It has left quite a scare for me. I don’t want relationships and don’t like anyone to even touch me. Don’t put yourself or your kids through this. Leave while you can. It won’t get better.
Get out now. Sorry your going through this. 
Renting?. you and the children leave. Buying a home? make him leave if you can. No more chances. Did he come back? At least you would have keys, wallet and maybe purse. In the meantime IF he comes back with your purse, put between mattress’ on your side of the bed until you can get out. You can also call police and say you are worried cause he hasn’t come home. Include VIN#, if they see him they will stop him.
I stayed in a relationship like this for 3 and half years. He would steal my money, phone and car and be gone all night. He was addicted to crack and I was oblivious. I would try and see if he would be willing to get help before you leave. If not that I would separate yourself from him. I got to where I had to put my money and car keys in my pillow case at night. That’s no way to live. Constant stress and anxiety. I lost myself in the midst of his chaos. Dont put yourself through too much for too long.
Why are you asking…go as soon as you can…and never go back no matter what promises he makes…good luck
You need to leave him or kick him out !
No! It is not emotionally sound to continue and you need to show your boys a stable environment. I hope you are able to see that you deserve better as well!! Love yourself and let him be.
Get out now. Do you want your children to think that’s the way a man is supposed to be? Even if they were asleep children pick up on things and know way more than we think they do. I know, because I was one of those children once upon a time.
Parents never argued in front of us, but they thought we were sleeping and I knew EVERYTHING that went on. Thankfully my mom finally moved us out when I was eight. She remarried when I was 10 and I had an AMAZING step dad that I call my dad to this day. He showed us the way a man should treat a woman
It only gets worse the longer you stay. And you and the kids deserve so much more. It’s unfair to you to live this way and it will start to have an effect on your babies.
I used to be an alcoholic/addict, and I can tell you from the other perspective. I never stopped until I was ready, so regardless of whether you give this person another chance, if he’s not ready to stop, then he won’t and he’ll continue to verbally abuse you, and it can be a miserable situation to be stuck in for you and your kids. I suggest you sit down with him and tell him that you would like for him to get into treatment, and if he doesn’t you and the kids will leave him. But like I said, if he says no, and that just means that he’s not ready and living nightmare will continue. I had a family member come find me, take me from the situation and help me get treatment and get my life back together. I’m so grateful to them for standing up to me and telling me that I needed to get help and helping me get help. Because if it wasn’t for that person, I would probably be in jail or dead today. But I can also tell you that had I not been ready and agreed to go, them walking out of my life would have probably changed me because I really love this person. Regardless of how hard it could have been on them. You have to stick to it tho girl, if you walk out of his life, because he decides he doesn’t want to get help then if he really loves you guys, he’ll come to his senses while y’all are gone and get help himself and then hopefully he’ll do the right thing. I really encourage you to look into finding a support group for people of family members or loved ones of somebody that’s an addict or an alcoholic. They can really, really help guide you and help you through this, and they can also bring people from AA or NA to help possibly talk him into starting to get help…
my moms a drunk and the chances are over. it doesn’t change only gets worse
Put yourself first and the kids. Get out now, you will love yourself more for it!
Get out. You know this. Your kids deserve better
Leave, leave, leave! He will not change. It just gets worse. I was in your shoes for nearly 30 years, thought positively- nope… I pray for you & your children.
My ex was an alcoholic always accused me of cheating when I wasn’t he was and was abusive in all ways best thing I did was leave and I think you should leave as well
Report him for theft, get your shit back and leave.
I realize you’re saying he’s not physically abusive but that IS abuse. Just because he isn’t hitting you or your kids doesn’t mean it isn’t abuse. Leave before it gets worse.
Dear you already know the answer!!! Get out you and your children deserve better!!
Been there. It’s the alcohol in him talking, but that’s no excuse. Give him an ultimatum, and make sure you mean it. You cannot fix his problem.
Uhm he dlnt have to beat you to a pulp to be abusive. This is more than abusive and incredibly psychotic. Your children will grow up thinking this is normal and they can do and take whatever they want, when they want. I usually never say this on here, maybe twice all together, but OH MY LORD GET AWAY
There’s no hope… it’s only going to get worse, and he’s probably already cheating while he’s drunk…
If you are asking the question then you already know the answer.
You and your children deserve better. Get out of there and let him do what he wants to do on his own.
Verbal abuse and accusatory words are just the beginning. It’s obvious he has issues. I wouldn’t stay if I were you.
No I would have left a long time ago. It’s time to move on.
Get out while you are able! You dont need to wait till something drastic happens to you and your boys. He is obviously mare interested in his drinks!
Oh 4377 no. Report your car as stolen as well. Start packing your bags. When he shows up get you and your kids out of there
Nope…Id be out! Would you want your kids to stay with a person like that? Because by staying you are teaching them its okay. Okay for a man to treat a woman this way and okat for a woman to stay!
Only you know the right answer for you and your family. If you don’t presently participate in Al-Anon, I would recommend it to you.
I think you already know the answer!! Leave, don’t EVER go back, not EVER!! Abuse is not just physical!!! Do YOU think YOU and your CHILDREN deserve this kind of life??? You DON’T!! You DESERVE soooo much better!!! IT WILL GET WORSE, believe that !!! PRAY for GOD to lead you, guide you, and keep All his ANGELS watching over you and your children!!! You have to close one door to open another, your life CAN BE SO MUCH BETTER!!!
don’t ever stop praying!!!
I have but would NEVER let an Idiot do me that way again.
Girl hell no leave his dumb ass
NO! It will never stop. I know.
What a fucken dumb question, get the fuck out.
Nope you need to leave
Call up the family and have an intervention. He has to go into rehab and then complete 30 in 30, before he can come back. If not, get gone. If that doesn’t work and he starts again, get gone. He can come back when he’s making good choices… if you’re still available anyway. lol
Leave. It will not get better. And verbal abuse IS abuse. Don’t kid yourself that your kids are asleep and don’t know what is going on. GET OUT. Life will get better.
Leave! I’ve been in a marriage for 19 years with an alcoholic. He will never change if he don’t want to. He will continue to hurt you. I wish I would if left the first time it ever happened. I gave 3 wonderful children that seen and heard way to much over the years. Please don’t make my mistake, get out. Be happy
I would run as fast asi could cause you dont know whats coming next my ex was like this when he told me he was dreaming of killing me i had to get out i went back a few times until he threw hot food on my baby grand daughter which at the time he supposed said she was his to you just dont do that to some one you love. Go luck hun on what you decide to do
I left my boyfriend of 6 years we have a 2 year old almost 3 my bbd was drunk all the time even through my pregnancy and through his birth he never seen him once on his birthdays or christmas i always took him back but i know he is never going to change unless he wants to which is no hope i took my son and left. My family is helping now and i plan to go back to school get my life together do not stay it well only get worse ur boys dont deserve to see u be treated like that at all. I am sorry u are going through this hugs 
i hope u find the strength to leave
You should definitely leave
Run. As fast and as soon as you can.
Never. Did that in the past and would never do it again
Not way to live, no future for kids.
As a child raised in an environment with 2 substance abusers…get out now. If not for you, for the sake of those poor children. Or just plan on any money you may save for college will be used on years of therapy instead.
Don’t leave for you, leave for your children. If you have boy you are showing them it is okay to be disrespectful and abuse a woman. As they get older they WILL treat you the way they see your spouse treat you. If you are raising girls you are setting a standard self worth for them that you will regret later. You are also setting up any children raised in this environment to accept and seek out disfuncional relationship. This will not just hinder their childhood. It Wil challenge them their entire lives in any meaningful relationship. PLESE IF YOU CANNOT LEAVE FOR YOURSELF LEAVE FOR YOUR CHILDREN.
If you know what’s good for you sweetie get out while you can !! If you have someone who you know and trust fully pack them babies up and just go and don’t look back. Trust me I can already tell you that your being cheated on and besides that he has no concern for the children. He’s a liar and cheater and thievery is involved also mock my words, your not safe nor are them babies. For him to steal from you he’s probably on drugs also. If you know what’s good for you end this nightmare. A nightmare that one day will become reality and someone getting hurt. Gain your self worth back and protect you and those babies. Otherwise you will live a life of failure. Sounds like your marriage has been over for a long time and you don’t want them babies growing up thinking it’s ok to treat women that way or if you have girls that it’s ok to take that kind of crap. He is trash honey and no woman should have to live in fear of tomorrow. Life is short and you don’t deserve this by far so just go honey!! I will pray for you to make the right and only decision. Good luck !!
He just needs the proper help and the will to get better. Everyone here can STFU about him not changing, cuz I am living proof of a former alcoholic who got sober and i know many people who changed
Get out now this only sounds like it would turn into a horror story
It only gets worse - be DONE! And LEAVE! Kids don’t need to be in that environment…
Leave him, and don’t look back 
He needs help… rehab and actual therapy, and you cant do that FOR him. Take it from someone who has been through it, he may not be a bad person, but the alcohol will lead him to a horrible place. hugs look into interventionalists, look into rehab, get him help asap. And do NOT let him back in, dont enable him. Be there for him, encourage him if he goes. But dont put up with this crap in the mean time.