My husband is leaving due to the military before I deliver our baby: Should I allow my mom to be in room?

I’m nine months pregnant, an army wife who has been with my SO for almost six years. We are high school sweethearts, we’ve been through thick and thin. My husband just got home a month ago from OSUT, and he’s leaving for nine months to train in Europe. It’s the longest we’ve ever been away, and the longest we’ve gone without constantly talking. He’s leaving a week before our baby is due. I’m 5-7 hours away from family, so I’m going back home the day he leaves to have my baby there. That way, I have a family member to watch our current child while I’m in labor and giving birth. Both sides of our families are back home. I’m not happy about him leaving, especially since it’s ONE WEEK before I’m due. I can basically already diagnose myself with PPD… I just got off Zoloft after being on for five months due to separation anxiety while he was in OSUT. Well, back to the problem. With our first child, my husband was with me during labor and delivery and so was my mother (my actual grandma but raised me since I was a baby) I didn’t want her in the room, but she snuck in while I was drugged up and I didn’t have the heart to tell her to leave, it was just whatever. She didn’t hold my leg right so I kept kicking out of her grasp, and she kept telling me to breathe, and I just didn’t want to hear shit, I was pushing a baby out, I just didn’t want to hear anything besides what medical staff had to say and what my husband was saying which was “one more push babe” (lies). Back to the present, I wasn’t prepared for my husband to leave, these were last-minute deployment orders, I was prepared to have my husband with me while I delivered our baby and his mother was to drive down to watch our child while I labored so he could be with me while I delivered. Since I have to go back home, I’m staying with his family since my family doesn’t have a good standing house, the environment is smoky and dusty, and I wouldn’t be able to live or sleep there comfortably and definitely not with a newborn baby. Did I mention roaches? Or that they have an old dog that sleeps wherever and is vicious and old, I won’t go inside unless he’s put up. So I’m staying with his parents and sister in the guest room. My mom assumed she would be in the room with me while I labored and delivered. I said no. I want to be alone. When I meet our baby for the first time, I’m going to cry, and I’m going to be extremely upset that we can’t share this moment together. I want that time to be alone to cry without feeling sympathetic eyes on me, to hold my baby and try giving her the love her father can’t because he’s not here right now. To tell her that daddy loves her and would do anything to be here to hold you and love on you, but for now, it’s just me. MOM : of course IM going to be there ME : I just don’t want anyone besides the nurses and doctor, I wasn’t prepared for this, I thought he would be here, and he would be the only person there for me MOM: you’re just saying that because you’re shocked, you’ll change your mind ME: no. I don’t want anyone; I need time to myself MOM: that’s a little selfish, just because he’s leaving doesn’t mean you need to shut everyone out I told her she could come after the baby was born. Her reasonings are that she’s been there for every baby, grandbaby and great grand baby’s birth, that I NEED someone there. Yes, I NEED nurses and doctors. Am I in the wrong for wanting to be alone? All I’m asking for is privacy. I’m the kind of person to shut people out temporarily, and I don’t regret it, I do it for my own sanity and to save others feelings. She doesn’t know what I’m going through; she’s never had her husband taken from her to leave the US for nine months for training RIGHT BEFORE HER DUE DATE. She says things like “I knew that was gonna happen, that he would leave right before the baby” “babies normally come 2 weeks before or 1 week after due date, always” she’s calling me selfish, saying I don’t appreciate any help I’m getting, mad I won’t stay at her unfit for living house, she’s still mad I didn’t hyphen my last name and just took my husbands “you’re going against tradition”. She’s telling me she NEEDS to go back to my new house with me cause there’s no way I can handle a toddler and a newborn. She talks down on my husband’s family basically because they’re clean, white, and have college educations with which they make good money. So I guess my question is… do I owe her the right to be in the room with me? Am I being selfish? Am I “acting out” because my husband is leaving? She’s gone as far as having my grandpa call me to try talking to me about it, and it’s making me hostile and angry, it makes me not want her around period, I don’t know if she feels entitled to this birth experience or WHAT.

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Could your mother not FaceTime him? Maybe you will have the babe right before he leaves. Think positive. Some people don’t have any support at all🙋🏻‍♀️ I have no doubt it sucks your husband is leaving and will be gone for awhile. I couldn’t imagine. But maybe focus on the tiny positives

Ultimately it’s up to you but I do think you should at least have someone there with you. I understand your hurting that your husband won’t be able to be there but I do feel like your mom is right when she said you’re shutting people out in anger that he won’t be able to be there. I’d feel the same way though!!! Sending good vibes your way!!

You owe No One the Right to be in there with you!!!
Write out your birth plan, discuss it with your OB and every nurse that you come in contact with while in labor!!!
Good luck sweetheart!!! You got this!!
Get nurses to take pics of you and baby!!!

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Nope, not if you don’t want her in there. It’s not about her. She had her time with her choice on delivery arrangements. Stick to your guns if you don’t want her there. And day of delivery make sure you’re clear with the nurses, they’ll keep her out.

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Your baby, your rules. If you don’t want anyone there it’s your decision and no one else’s.

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Can you not induce a week early as long as baby is healthy?

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Sounds like you have your mind made up about not having her there. Regaurdless …shes human, shes not perfect but cut her a little slack …she just loves you &is lookin out for you in her own way.

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It’s up to you but in all honesty why be alone for labor ? Why not record, FaceTime, or take pictures of that moment so he can feel as if he didn’t have to miss the whole event. Why not explain: “I’d like you there but this and this bothered me the last time and I’m more stressed now so can you tone it down a bit” … You are an adult so tell your mom why. Esp if you are under stress and alone and already assuming post partum depression will be present I believe you need all the help you can get.

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You are NOT being selfish. Let the nurses know that you don’t want her in there and they can be the bad guy when the time comes. Focus on you and your baby

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No, you are not being selfish. You’re going in to a very stressful, vulnerable situation under circumstances that make it even more stressful. You know what you need. Set a boundary and stick to it. She should be respecting your boundaries, not pushing you to do what she wants.

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Get induced before your husband leaves

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You could FaceTime into the delivery so he can be with you sorta?

I did my second completely alone only me I don’t regret a thing about it my first was a circus my second I did completely alone n my 3 my now husband was there I don’t regret a min of my second born the bonding you get from being alone I amazing I loved it good luck I would say no your not being selfish your doing what’s best for you which equals best for the babies and a unfit house is not best for your already born child so I would say what your doing is good it’s not about anyone but you the baby and the husband sorry no one is entitled to be in there but you not even your husband is entitled father or not that’s the truth

You dont owe anyone a right to be there. It is only up to you. If you dont want anyone there that’s perfectly fine. It will give you a wonderful 1 on 1 bonding and healing time with your precious baby. If you dont want people there then make it clear to them and also to the doctors and nurses that no one comes in! The doctors and nurses will make anyone that even tries to leave. Also you could possibly use a tablet or something and screen time while labor and delivery with your husband if that’s a possibility for you guys?

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Request an induction. My dr was willing to go as early as 37 weeks with my second.

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Why cant you be induced before he leaves, as long as baby is healthy?

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I would ask doctor about inducing right before he leaves… maybe? They will at 39 weeks… besides that I highly suggest you see a therapist … you seem to be bordering some type of depression

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You owe her nothing. It’s your baby, your precious time you will never get back. Do it your way that is going to make you happy. You being stressed out and worried about all that is obviously not good for the baby. Think of you and baby first but be prepared for her to be upset and possibly hold it against you for awhile. But if its gonna cost you your sanity put your foot down. Good luck to and baby

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I agree with asking about an induction and not tell anyone until after baby’s born.

Sure, mom’s intentions are good but sometimes can be disguised as controlling. Don’t let anyine guilt trip you. If you don’t want anyone there, that’s your choice.

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You are not being selfish. I didn’t allow my mother in the room either just myself and my SO. It’s entirely up to you it’s YOUR baby and YOUR experience

U dont need anyone there that is g2stress u out for 1…and for 2, u never know what can happen… 1 week b4 you’re due, u might have your baby early and he will be there. But just in case u do go on time, just have the next person u trust by your side… a best friend, sibling, aunt, etc. Prepare for the worse but hope for the best.

You talk so low about your family like you are ashamed of them? You seem to not like them because they are poor and unhygienic. Your family will always love you and be there for you more than your husband’s one if I was you I will always keep a big space for my mom, once they are gone they are gone dear. But you can induce and risk your baby’s health for the sake of being in labor room with your husband.

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I was just induced a week early electively, ask your doc about inducing before he leaves.

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I think shes just trying to be there for you in the best ways she knows how. Personally my mom and boyfriend are the only two I want in the room with me but I’m super close with my mom so that’s just me needing her like I always will. She could record it if you decide to let her in, or facetime your hubby for you so he doesnt miss it completely. But also you have the right to tell her no flat out, it’s all about you in that moment until the baby is born. Maybe explain your reasons better. Tell her honestly that last time she frustrated you. Honesty is the best policy among family.

Protect your peace … she will b ok.

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You might not need an induction. Its totally possible you’ll deliver before he leaves. Even if you don’t, you don’t have to be induced and you don’t have to cave to your mother. Do what you want, period. You are strong enough to go it alone if that’s what’s best for you and you don’t have to request a procedure that might complicate things or feel selfish for wanting your own time and space. You don’t owe anyone anything. And you shouldn’t “just be grateful she wants to help” if her help will only cause you more stress and frustration at an already complicated time.

No absolutely not and she actually sounds pretty toxic to me. I say distance yourself as much as possible. You CAN do this!!! Tell her to back off and zip it. She had her turn birthing babies and she has no right to interfere in yours.

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It’s up to you at the end of the day, but you sound completely rude and like you’re feeling sorry for yourself.

He won’t be there, so you just wanna sit there and feel sorry for yourself and cry about it, instead of having someone with you and being happy about the birth of your child. All she’s doing is trying to look out for you and you’re like pushing her to the ground for it. All these people saying you own her nothing is bullshit. She’s your mother, she might not have birthed you but she raised you and took care of you like you were hers.

You seem to really hate your family the way you talk shit about them also. Just because your husband’s family is “white and wealthy” makes them better than your family? So what if they are a little dirtier.

This is YOUR birth and YOU are the patient. YOU get to make the decisions. Anyone who says otherwise is the selfish one.

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He should talk to his commander and see about being pulled from training because of your due date.

Have you asked the do tors about being induced while he is still here? Induction isnt a great way to do it but in some circumstances its allowed as long as your 37 weeks or farther.

Stand up for yourself, also make sure nurses know about your wishes so she doesnt sneak in again.

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No. Sounds like she will add more stress.

Have you considered his mom or sister or a doula? Don’t even tell your mom when you go to the hospital. Wait until after the baby is born to call and announce the arrival.

DO IT YOUR WAY. My husband was sent to Germany days before our first child was born. I rented an appointment and was very happy. My family visited. I delivered with a doctor and a nurse. I’m a very private person. Blessings to you. You can do this.

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Some drs will induce under these circumstances. Possibly consider that and then a friend or family member stay with you for a few days after

You are not selfish in any way. With my first baby I had an emergency csection. It was miserable and I wasnt even the first person to hold my daughter. To be honest there were 6 people who got to hold her before I even got the chance to bond with her. This time with my curent so I’m hopeing to do a planned csection… But ive concidered natural and my so’s mom wants to be there and I feel bad because I dont want anyone there but me and my so… I mean if they would let me id love for my 2 year old to be there but it might be too weird for her to be there when I deliver…

Hire a Dula or have a friend

I didn’t read to the end…but…Personally I couldn’t imagine my mom not being there. She was there for my first (along with my husband and MIL) and she was who I wanted with me during my section. But that’s my situation. My mom doesn’t freak out like my husband…so she is more of a strong support and she helps more physically. My husband got on my damn nerves with our first BC he held my neck like it was a feather…instead of firm like I needed. Lol. But your situation is different. Do what YOU are most comfortable with. It is your body…and your baby. You dont actually owe anyone anything. If you think there will be any drama…i would even go as far as to not let anyone know that you are having the baby…besides whoever is watching your oldest. Im sorry that your husband cannot be with you. I can only imagine how difficult that must be for you. I hope everything works out smoothly…and you have a speedy and safe delivery and recovery.

To me this is very simple, of you want her there, let her. If don’t tell her NO, real simple

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She sounds pushy and annoying. You don’t need her there.

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I think she’s trying to be there for you in her own way and you just have a lot of nasty shit to say about the woman who raised you when honestly, she didn’t have too. No, she doesn’t need to be in the room if you don’t want…and you don’t have to take your stress out on her :woman_shrugging:t2:

Look being a military wife this is just how it goes. My husband wasn’t home for any of the pregnancy or any of the issues I had to handle. That is what we as wives have to just handle. He barely made it there for the birth. I know you want him there but the military needs them more than us and we have to let them do what they are meant to do.

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I personally loved my mom being there with me. But its vaginal area, your baby, your experience, your choice.

Absolutely do NOT BUDGE ON WHAT TOU FEEL IS RIGHT! This is not about her. It is about you and your precious new baby. The only person being selfish in this scenario is your mother.

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I had to schedule my c-section so my ex husband didn’t have to go to sea on my due date. I’d ask about being induced before he leaves or have apply for leave for a week or two. Goid luck I hope all works out!!

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Stick to the stress free birth plan you want. :hugs:

I’m a military wife and my doctor induced me a week early so my husband could be there for the birth of our son. I hope it all works out💕

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Just say no. Sorry you don’t agree with me. I don’t need to explain myself any more to you. I love you. Bye

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I get it. My hubby deployed when I was 6 months pregnant with our first, 3 weeks after we got married. I drove myself to the hospital when my water broke, middle of winter, scraping frost off my windshield with a towel between my legs. I allowed and wanted my mom and little sister in the room because it was my 1st time and he was overseas. He was able to watch on Skype. I went back to our apartment with our baby boy but went to my parents on the weekends. They aren’t the cleanest and have 4 dogs who shed like crazy. But being my 1sr time, I went. When I had my 3rd, he had to leave 2 days after the birth and was gone for 16 weeks. So I was at home by myself 99% of the time with a newborn, 13mo old and 2 1/2 yr old. Doing all the shopping, cleaning, everything on my own. I asked for helped but got very little in return. It was very depressing and my family and I grew apart little by little. Now I’m having my 7th baby in a couple months, hubby will probably be at home with the kids since we won’t have any help. He missed the birth of our 5th one because of no help and the fact she came quicker than the drs thought.

So, do what you FEEL is right and comfortable for you. You can do it. It will suck, but you will be so much stronger for doing it how YOU want to and in the peace and freedom of your own home and own time.

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You do you! If that’s what you truly want then, it’s your day not anyone else’s!

I personally didn’t care who was in the room with me with all 4 of my kids.

My Mom, one of my 3 sisters, and of course my SO!

Thank you for your families service. :heart:. I would ask doctor about being induced before he leaves. Additionally you can have the nurses protect your room. You don’t need to let anyone in.

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She obviously doesn’t respect your answer so just stop responding when she brings it up. You’re staying with your in laws so don’t tell her when you go into labor. Talk to your hospital about a dula so you have support and make sure the whole staff understands your needs.

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I have a few friends that were induced early because hubby was leaving maybe speak to your healthcare provider and see if they can book you my hubby was away for my last one and I did it all by myself baby was a week early and he was due home in 3 days typical ended up delivering on my living room floor alone then he was deployed again when baby was 2 weeks old he is now 4 months old and still isnt back but hey you got this us military wives are a strong bunch we gotta be :slight_smile: find a few of us to be friends with close by we are a great support network xxx

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I’d be begging my doctor to induce before hubby left.

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Hi there, I’m also a military spouse. I haven’t had to do labor alone yet. First you aren’t obligated to let her be in the room. I’d honestly want to have a nurse hold my phone with my husband on FaceTime if he couldn’t be there. If the nurse couldn’t do it then I’d have my mom be in there with me and FaceTime him. If I couldn’t have my husband there on the phone I’m not sure I’d want anyone with me either. I’d definitely want my parents to be there with my one child while I’m in labor and to be there helping me with a newborn and toddler

I was due to have my second and it was just going to be my partner and I but my little one was late and my partner had to go back to work. I was really disappointed but I asked my mum, sister, cousin and one of my best friends if they would like to be there with me. If I couldn’t have my partner then I wanted as much woman support as possible.

I went home that day with a new born and I had a very sick 18 month old. It was hard but I survived.

This your your time and you get to choose how you want it to go.

You’re not being selfish. You’re the one giving birth, you get to decide who is and isn’t in the room with you. And anybody who tries to guilt you into letting them into that room is the selfish one. Also if you don’t feel safe and comfortable staying in her house with your babies then you don’t need to stay there. I know she raised you but you don’t owe her your sanity or happiness

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Something you should be discussing with your husband. You knew this was a possibility. :woman_shrugging:

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You’re not being selfish. Maybe husbands family could watch older child while you’re having baby & you call mom after baby is born.

Tell the nurses your doctor your wishes and they will honor them.

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In any hospital you can request nobody being there . It is your choice . Just let the staff know. You are not being selfish . I have several military friends (were all in the army and stayed back because we are pregnant) who did the same and delivered by themselves while our husbands are deployed some are dual military and some were civilian spouses. Its a hard life . Its going to get better trust me. Also if you can try to get induced earlier . I had a soldier whos wife was going through the same thing before we deployed and they just talked to the doctors and scheduled the birth at 38 weeks so he can see his baby before he deployed for 9 months

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No, you are not being selfish at all!! This is YOUR CALL!! You make these decisions girl & if you don’t want her in there, simply tell your doctor & nurses your wishes. I know she’s your mom but mom is just gunna have to get over it. This is one area where she does NOT call the shots! Good luck hunny!!

It’s totally up to you who’s in the room with you. You are the one having the baby so it’s about what you are comfortable with. You don’t owe anyone anything.

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People are so different. When my husband was deployed for my first son I had my mom, sister, cousin, and aunt in the delivery room. Basically anyone who wanted to be there and experience welcoming my son. They all have a soft spot for him getting to see him come into the world. It wasnt about me. I saw it like since my husband was gone at least let my son have others to be there for the miracle of his life. The only part that seems selfish is that she has been there for every other baby and it would almost be robbing the baby of that connection and story of grandma being there like with all the others. Maybe if u change your mind u just be honest and tell her dont hold my legs and no words during pushing, but to me it seems like it’s more to the story than that being the issue. A birth isnt a time for a pity party tho in my opinion. :woman_shrugging:t4:

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I think it is your choice. If you really want to shut people out you can. You can tell the nurses exactly that and they will not allow anyone in there. However I will say, at least your mom is supportive and wants to be there. Consider yourself semi lucky on that part. Not everyone is so lucky. Either way, good luck, I wish you and hope your husband has a safe return home. :heart:

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Mom is quite controlling in my opinion. You deserve your privacy and nurses will keep her out. Not sure why you went off Zoloft, I think you should start again depression is horrid. Consult with your doctor about that. Don’t tell Mom when you go into labor and tell in-laws not to. You can call her later. That is what I would do. I am a very private person though.

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You do need to find some happiness for you in the labor room so if you don’t want anyone in tell all of them to get lost wait in the waiting room good luck I wish you well

If it’s that serious why not just stick to your original plan of having his mom come to you and watch toddler and go it alone from your own house and hospital. That would see easier than being displaced with a newborn and toddler.

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It’s so hard. Too bad you couldn’t be induced right before he leaves. It’s ultimately your choice. Not anyone elses. Liz N Terrell Washington had a great idea too! Good luck! Maybe you’ll labor before he goes. :blush:

Why dont you want her there? Shes just trying to be supportive since your hubby wont be there…??

She is not entitled to a damn thing. You can tell the stuff at the hospital n they will not let her in unless they have you say u do. Yes I feel u are stressing n struggling with your husband being gone especially for a big event. But maybe they will induced u before he leaves talk to your doctor. Hopefully he or she will. Wishing you, your babies n hubby all the luck in the world.

Do whatever makes you comfortable!
You can make a request with your hospital that you do not want anyone else in the room with you, or visiting (if you choose). Make your decision clear, and your nurses will adhere to your request. You and baby are their patients, and what you say goes. I would say to have some form of support, maybe look into a doula or friend to be there.

Good grief I didn’t even read all that because the basic question is if you want your mother there. Why are you asking? It’s your mother. You make the choice. :woman_facepalming:

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No. If you dont want her there dont let her change your mind. Make sure to tell the Doctor’s and nurses you dont want her there and they will keep her out.

100% your choice!!! And if temporarily shutting people out helps your sanity them by all means do so! This is about you not her!

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Ask your dr to induce your labor the week before your husband leaves… Sure you will have to have some test to make sure shes healthy and ready bt its not at all an unreasonable request… I couldnt handle being pregnant any longer with my fourth child. I cldnt breath was very un comfortable all the time n when i talked to my dr and he was a high risk dr he told me not all woman can mk it to 40 weeks and if i was that uncomfortable and willing to do some test ( that are safe ) and if her lungs were developed and in most cases they are at 38weeks he wld induce… I had my healthy baby girl 2 weeks early n she was 8lbs 5 ozs… I actually had all but one of my 4 children 2 to 2 1/2 weeks early n the other 2 that were early were 8 lbs 13ozs… So you can absolutely be induced and hv a healthy baby a cpl weeks early. It will tk stress of you it sounds like… Good luck

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Honor YOUR wishes. Labor & delivery floss are locked units. Anyone to enter needs approval, don’t give it unless- until you want visitors! You can designate who is to be allowed in… This(birth) is YOUR moment, don’t let others insert themselves unwanted…

He needs to talk to his chain of command. I’m in the military and every person I’ve known to be married and having a baby has gotten leave for that reason. Somethings not right. :woman_shrugging:

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It’s your choice. As for me my husband was a little ticked off because I cried out for mom.

.say a prayer and count ur blessings!!!

You don’t have to let anyone in that you don’t want. This will is a one time experience with this baby, if she will stress you and ruin it. Keep her away

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I’m from a military family. My dad missed my brothers birth because of basic training. My mom was induced with me so my dad could be there for my birth he was also going over seas.

The staff is there to listen to you, have your baby how you want. Communicate with everyone who is asking how they can be involved, whether just to listen to your thoughts and emotions or physically help you through the labor.

If your mother is going to make your birth experience more tense and stressful, I vote not to let her in. Birth is fickle and that stress will not help. I would highly recommend hiring a doula. I can’t imagine how difficult this experience will be without your husband. A trained support person could only benefit you! :heart:

I think that traveling hours away with a toddler and staying in someone else’s house postpartum while your DH is deployed is way too much on you. Have MIL, and possibly your Mom, come to you. The Moms can watch the toddler and IF you suddenly decide you want a familiar face, Mom is in town and able to be there for you. If not, you get your time to yourself. You can send a Mom, or both Moms home when you’re ready, but they’ll be there postpartum for support. I’m a private person and I believe strongly that you need positive energy during labor, but this is going to be a demanding time and you don’t know 100% how much help you’ll need. Those are my thoughts. Bless you and your family and the incredible sacrifice you are making for the rest of us :heart::heart::heart::heart::heart:

Is being induced before he leaves an option?

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If the hospital is just going to let anyone walk into the delivery room to watch you push out a baby I’d be going to a different hospital. You don’t owe your mom a thing. It’s about you and the baby. Your mom needs to get over herself and respect your wishes. Shit, don’t even tell her when you go into labor!

Why dont you record everything for him and tell her you dont want her there. Is she clean from what you said. Dont tell her when your in labor. Speak up

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If you don’t want her there that’s you’re choice. Tell medical staff ahead of time so she can’t “sneak” in.

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I wish I had the support you have. Be careful with what you’re asking for because when you get it, I’m not sure you’ll be happy.

It’s your childbirth completely your choice, if you are already so anxious and upset thus is definitely not right can you Dr confirm the No, you need to be relaxed and loving for the baby and enjoy introducing their sibling who they will live with forever, of course it will be harder on your own but you’ll have little chance at their age to love and enjoy them. Please take a step back, breathe and do it your way, the only way, it may cause problems but after the birth all will be forgiven, if not it truly yes their loss. Best bud luck you need to relax thus us not a good way fur babymama to feel your head needs to be in a better place xxxx

You probably won’t be able to read this because of all the other comments. But ask to be induced, like everyone else is saying. I don’t see why they wouldn’t, because of the trauma you know that will occur. If that can’t happen, tell your mom no. You know your mind better than anyone. If you need to be alone, then that’s what needs to happen. It sounds like she’s trying to control it, and that’s not ok.

My husband was at OSUT while our 1st was born. I’ve experienced so much in the military in the last 13 years since so if u ever need to chat w someone who has been there, drop me a message!
I had my best friend with me because it’s not something I wanted to go thru alone. For one, it was a scheduled cesarean so I wanted help. Two, I can’t imagine not having at least one person there to share the overwhelming emotions you feel during that time.
That being said, you know yourself better than anyone, if you want to experience it alone, just you and your baby, that’s your right.

My ex was out getting high and missed the birth of our second child.

You don’t think you need anyone else, but it sure would be nice to have someone there to advocate for you. Is there someone more suitable? Can anyone from his family help?

You’re allowed to say no to anyone you don’t around…

Talk to his chain of command and ask if he can leave later. Some cases they will let them but it depends. It’s worth a try to talk to them the worst they can say is no. Good luck!

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Your do what’s best for you, not others but you could see if maybe they could induce you at 38 weeks since that is still full term and have hubby there with you like you want and yes you can handle a toddler and a new born, it’s not that hard. But having his mom come to you like you first planned to watch the older child is still a good idea and maybe she could stay a few extra days so you can get settled in at home so you don’t have to go to them and leave your home.

So thankful for your husbands service! Military life is super hard. Prayers!

Nobody has the right to tell you who can be there or where you can stay!! or guilt you! These are your decisions! Sounds like you have your children’s best interest!! And you know what you want to do! Your nurses will keep her out if you tell them too!

You can do it your way!!

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You do what you feel is best for you and your child! Be sure to tell hospital staff who is allowed or not in the room and they will abide by your wishes! Never feel guilty for anything!

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You sound awesome!!! Do what is best for you and your family! It’s yours! Hello her what you feel and she will have to deal…just because she’s your Mom doesn’t mean she deserves to enter your space! U need nurses and Doctors with you and if you have a super close friend maybe have them with you. I would love to know how this all there out! Stand up for you no master what. I havelost all but 1 cousin in my family. My circle is very small! Best wishes :revolving_hearts: