Hey, all you amazing Mamas, needing some kind and advice and real help. I’ve been a stay at home mom for the past two years my daughter is 5 in kindergarten now. My husband wants to separate and Idk how to survive. I have no job, no money of my own, and no family I can turn too. I live in NYC as well, which I can’t afford even a studio apartment. Please help I’m so depressed and hurt. I don’t know how to move on right now and survive. Thank you and God bless.
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First I would start with applying to pLces.that work around school hours. Secondly dont be afraid to apply for assistance that’s why it’s there. Sometimes things happen in life and I truly wish you the best. Goodluck
Start applying for jobs, housing and government help . you can do this you really have no choice
Go get a job and go from there.
You will survive the same as you did before him! one day at a time. It literally feels like death but fuck that momentary emotion and make yourself glow!! I think we tend to forget the strength inside us sometimes. Sending lots of love and encouragement!! You can do this!!
You just do it! Breathe. Have your break down. Get up and move on. Do you have family or friends nearby? Would they let you stay till you get on your feet? Apply for assistance. Look for jobs. Remember that you’re amazing and the way you respond to this will be what your kids remember.
Has he offered any help at all?
I lived in nyc… Its rough. Especially in ur situation. Try applying for the one shot deal… If the case is you being homeless. Theyll help you asap. And they can help with work and day care. Ny is hard to survive in but if you know where to go and who to speak to. You be good asap. Good luck. Dm me if needed
go after child support and alimony, as well as going after him for your attorney fees as well as paying for your support and college, so you can get a degree in a position that will bring you gainful employment
Also spousal support is as much as of a thing as child support is
Swagbucks, for some extra little things throughout the month and just get on the hunt for a job, it’s hard but dont let him see you struggle be strong and do what you gotta do.
find a more suitable area to live. get a job, find a school and after school daycare. Think about it as a step by step process. you can look into government support until you can get on your feet as well. you can do this!!!
My husband left me 2 weeks before Christmas. I felt the same way. You need to find a job asap and start building that life. Apply for assistance for ow, look for a cheap little place. You can move again once u have saved, but getting a tiny place is important.
I’m sorry this happened to you. It’s not easy. It sucks and u feel like u wont ever be able to move forward. Its confusing and you will be sad and angry. But, it will get easier. I promise. Apply for child support and spousal support if u need to. Where is your family? Can u move closer to them?
I’m one month alone, and some days are CRAP…but it’s not all day, just moments. You will get through this.
I’m sure with your husband having a full time job you will have your daughter far more often. He will have to provide some sort of child support. Don’t let ANYONE talk shit on you receiving child support. Don’t be afraid to ask for government assistance while you look for a job that fits your life and schedule.
Good luck mama
Starts with your own job. Listen to the helpful ladies on here
Move somewhere you can afford to be. If it’s out of NYC move away. Sometimes a move after a divorce is just what you need
Get on public assistance. They will make will you apply for child support. Then apply for HUD housing. In the mean time go to public housing and see if they have any openings for an apartment. Then start looking for a job.You can do it. I did it almost two years ago. It was really hard but its sooo much better…
Take his ass to court make him pay alimony for being a dick.
Get an attorney ASAP and do as they tell you
In nyc you go to social services apply for what you can,also take whatever training classes available through state,cna course is a quick program and jobs are readily available, dont be scared you can do this!!!
Well legally since you’ve guys have been married he has to continue to provide for you considering that was the arrangements that were made while married, until divorced. Now that does not mean that you don’t need to go find a job and start figuring out how to support yourself
It’s not the end of the world . Look for a job, and a new place to live. Look for agencies that can help you. U both will be fine. Find a church in ur area that have programs for divorced parents. God bless you and ur daughter
I’m not sure if this is real but it’s worth looking into
You can file for state help. They can help you with housing or something that will help you get on your feet. Get a job. And keep moving forward for your kids. The rest will fall in its place in time.
Have him pay for your own lil spot until you get on your feet. Get after school care. Find a job while she is in school. He will gave to pay you support and alimony your going to be ok
shoot him before he gets out the door, then keep him in the deepfreeze.
His money is YOUR MONEY!! Go take 1/2 NOW
First get a job and sometimes family and friends can help but make sure he pays child support and remember no hard luck stories he took part in that child too
I’ve been there. I left an abusive marriage to a man who was addicted to drugs. I had 2 little boys, no job( SAHM for 6 years), no degree and no idea on what to do, but I did it. I survived, somehow that’s what a mama does. It’s not easy and there were nights I was so afraid of failing but I didn’t. I started college, just something quick that would get me a job. It ended up me getting my BA . I got a job while going to school. I had plan A, B, C and so on just in case for the kids. It’s now been 7 years and it’s still a struggle being a single mom but it’s just something you do, it becomes second nature because you have a precious baby to take care of. Please feel free to DM me if you ever need someone to talk to.
And pray Jesus will help to
Can’t believe why anyone would put themself in a position like this If NYC is too expencive for you, move. Get a job, everything is better than no job. I just dont understand how so many women rely on a man… Always have money in backup, and keep your job. Women in situations like this kinda have themself to blame. Wish you best of luck.
it’s called a lawyer… Gee I was 20 yrs old when I left my POS husband with a 1 & 3 yrs old. I made it. It’s so much better to do it alone then to be with someone who is a prick or doesn’t want you. Put the big girl panties on & show him you can do it without him, with a smile on your face
Look into emergency housing
Go for spousal support since he is sole supporter and get your own place.
Firstly wave goodbye to this man,my husband of 14 years walked out on me and our 3 children whilst I was ill with a serious illness,he had been having an affair for a few years with a married woman who he now lives with and has zero relationship with his children since he left in 2014,my advice to you is to go and find out how you can be supported financially and ensure he pays for his child,I don’t know how things work in USA but here in the UK we get financial support and housing support.You can do this,at the time my ex left I too have a really good life and 5 and half years on I might not have the money I used to have but I am happy and it’s the best thing he could have done because who wants a liar lying next to them and a dishonest man raising their children “not me” .Good luck
He will legally have to support you if you get an attorney asap. However, show his ass you will be just fine. Get a job and do it. I know it feels like the end of the world. I also know you have cried and faught all you can at this point. Wash your face and take care of business. I’m a life coach message me .
Start with state assistants and child support… they can help you with job training and financial support
Ny state will help you because u have a child go apply now ! Get it started , so sorry you have to go threw this !
Oh and nystate will go after him for child support
By NY law,he has to pay you alimony and child supports he supported u for the 2 years. Go to safe horizon and u will get free legal advice
F*** him! Take him for everything he has. He’s probably cheating. Find your proof and make him pay🤑 sorry you had to deal with such a piece of poo
Inbox me his info let me play him…lmfao! I am JK
Get a lawyer file for custody of your child asap, then file for divorce make him pay for it. Go for child support. And go for half of everything dont let him win. And go get a job.
Tomorrow when you drop your daughter off go apply for every single thing you can think of. Welfare. Child support. Insurance. Everything. Child care grants - whatever. Find out your rights and look for a job. You will survive, for your daughter.
You may find it’s the best thing that could ever happen. There is life after divorce as I have found out
You can do it! Take it day by day, start with a plan, apply for government assistance to help you until you get good on your feet. Move to a more affordable place to live. You’re daughter is depending on you, this is your moment to shine and show her how strong you are.
I live in NYC. You can definitely 100% do it. I know this is anonymous but you can reach out to me if you want. I don’t know the system much anymore but I use to get food stamps when my kids were small. Call 311 and tell them you need help with as many resources as possible. Look for housing in the outerborughs cuz its cheaper. You can get anywhere you need to go by bus or train. Omg. I have a million things I wanna tell you but please don’t despair. You can do this.
Look into a job at your daughters school!
And you might have to move to a less extravagant city but you’ll be alright. Good luck to you. You can do this.
You can and will survive!!!
I’m glad to see people reaching out to help. Take him for everything u can. I was married 15 yrs 4 kids later when the same happened to me. I was a housewife for 15 yrs. You will find your inner strength. You have to, your daughter needs you.
Apply for any and every job you can that has hours when your daughter is in school. Split custody 50/50, a failed marriage is no reason for either parent to use the children as pawns. If both your names are on the house (if you own one), sell it and split the profits 50/50. Or one person buy the other persons half. If more than one vehicle, you each get one. Basically, split everything right down the middle. Good luck dear!
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Get the paperwork for childsupport and apply to get spousal support.
Once he files for divorce.
You can get thru this!
First I’d file for spousal support and child support then call social ser vices to get help for you and daughter
Child support, spousal support, your own job.
I’m sure this is a very difficult time to go through but don’t stay fixed on your emotions. Use this as fuel and determination to get where you need to be. Realize that you are in for a big life change and you have to face it with positivity. A lot of people on here have wonderful suggestions regarding seeking state help. Do that, get everything you can until you’re able to get on you’re feet and support you and your child. Find a job as well. You absolutely will survive and get through this but it’s not going to be easy. It’s these rough patches in life that change us and really develop our character.
Child support and spousal support
Fuck getting child out spousal report. Get a damn job and stop trying to punish men for getting out of a bad marriage. You women disgust me. Split kids 50/50 or even give them to him more often from your on your feet. People do it by themselves all the time. Fuck making men pay because you can.
A lot of states have emergency housing assistance for people that no longer have somewhere to live. Apply for all of the state assistance you can, apply for jobs, apply for custody, child support, and spousal support. He should have to pay the spousal support because you were a stay at home mom. You will be okay, life changes but you have to be positive about those changes.
File for child support. See if you are eligible/qualify for alimony.
Court. Child support. Get a job. Move back home.
Look into a job that will coincide with Kindergarten hours. Where were you working before? Experienced in something in particular? Many places want part time employees. Child support and spousal support. Govt assistance. He wants to separate as in legal separation? Find some legal advice there. Some atty’s will meet one time for free for advice. You are strong and I know you can rise above and be successful. It won’t be easy and hope you have a car as transportation is a must. I was off work for 2 years too and getting a job is doable Hon.
God will take care of you and your child. There is help for you, take the advice given and ask God to order your steps and your mind:pray:. He did not deserve you . You will be blessed to move on to a better life. Praying for your victory. God will never leave you stay prayed up.
Find a job first of all…get a custody order in place. You do what you need to for that child. You dont need a man to survive.
You can do it!!
Why are you moving? If he wants to separate, he moves not you.
That buys you some time to get a job and apply for assistance.
He cant just walk away with no financial responsibility. Hes about to find that out. When you apply for assistance they’ll go after him and he’ll have to repay every dime they expend to support his child.
Does he have a good job? Is he saying that he wants shared custody?
Come back and fill us in with more info.
You got this!! I’m sorry you are going through this.
You will get child support and alimony
I’m sorry for what you’re going through but you can make it! As others have said file for any support you can get (don’t count on that to be a quick process I’ve been trying to get child support since octobor, there’s usually a lot of delayed cases UNLESS your husband voluntary pays an amount you can agree on) idk if your husband would put you and your daughter out or not. Obviously get a job, apply for assistance wherever you can get it from. If you can’t afford NYC, look elsewhere, I’m not saying across the country but there’s got to be more affordable places somewhere. If the separation leads to divorce you could apply for legal aid If you can’t afford a lawyer. I know this is hard and heartbreaking but for a marriage to work BOTH people have to at least want to try to make it work, if he doesn’t want to try then you’ll have to learn to move on, everyone deserves to be happy. You can do this! Lots of people make it, even when they think they won’t. Good luck!
Go to court, get child and spousal support. You shouldnt have to leave the house, he can. Try to find a job that works with the school
No shit for real it must suck putting your socks on yourself. Stupidity drives me crazy
A mama always figures it out
My first suggestion is to find work while she is in school.
I don’t know about the laws there, but here in my country, you can sued your husband if he doesn’t support your children
What country you from hun
Sign up for wic and food stamps, it’ll help with needed expenses and get a job. Since hes starting the divorce, just dont leave until you have the money and means to do so.
I’m in the UK l don’t know the law there but he had to keep financially the way he has like he has to provide for you both please seek advice from a lawyer but don’t you leave your home he had to keep a roof over you and your child’s head x
Since ur a sahm he will have 2 still support you until u can get a job. Alimony and child support
It’s hard. I slept in my car for about 2 or 3 weeks during the day I would take them to day care. I applied for child care and Food stamps and found a job till I saved to rent a bedroom. I was on my own with a 5, 3 and 2month old. It was hard but you can do it. While shes in school go find a job. Maybe find a shelter. It’s better than not having nowhere to stay at.
Food trucks and food banks, food stamps.
Sign up for any and all assistance you can get! Wic, food stamps ect, start the process now for child support and alimony!! Find you a job while your baby is in school and build your own empire without a man!
It’s going to be tuff but you’ll definitely pull thru if you don’t give up!
You grab that child and move back home before he files. Regardless of what he does you now have to find a way to support your life. I’m not sure what kind of options you have. One is for the child to live with him depending on the situation.
I found this too https://singlemothersgrants.org/single-mothers-assistance-in-new-york-city/
Hope it helps
First, don’t move out. Second, get an attorney who can petition the court for temporary support while you get on your feet.
First sign up for wic food assistamce amd cash benefits, child support, housing assistance, etc. Then Find a job with hours the same as her school schedule. I am in a similar situation and it’s far from easy but we are moms we Wil always find a way to make it for our babies sake. Even when it seems hopeless.
Asshole find assistance or a place to go like a shelter until you can get on your feet if I could I’d help you lots of luck hun
If he’s leaving you, that means if he’s moving out, you can get him for abandonment! If he’s wanting you to move out, don’t! At least not yet. Get to a lawyer quickly!
I am in the same boat as you
Just keep your crown up and sign up for all you can as others have stated
Not monetary advice… but you are going to have to dig down so deep in yourself and find all the strength, grit, courage, wisdom (for yourself) self love and self respect… and push or drag yourself through this.
My ex left me out of nowhere and it broke me.
Please do not let yourself fall into a deep depression.
I did and it’s taken me years to discover my self worth again.
Once that’s gone, it’s gonna be a long, hard and winding road.
I am so sorry you’re going through this.
But believe in yourself and the good of the world and people. Smile. Continue laughing. Do not let your spirit break. He’s already breaking your heart and marriage. That’s enough for him.
Now onto you. You can do this.
Go to the bank and withdraw as much money as you can, and open a new account with out him. This is to prepare for the worst, this way you don’t have to be in a shelter or on the street with you and your babies. Sounds drastic but better safe than sorry. Don’t leave ! Stay there as long as you can. Get a lawyer now.
Get a job! Start there
First of all, he is the one that should leave and let you and the kid have the house or apartment or whatever it is. Second, you can get a lawyer threw the state sometimes you don’t even have to pay. Wic and food stamps will take you on. And you can get a daycare that will except government support payments.
Yah I wouldn’t leave the house or kids. Get a job and hoard money any way u can
Start by filing for emergency Spousal and Child Support Usually takes about a week. Move to Jersey it’s cheaper but not too far from your child’s father
Reach out to your church. If you dont have one, find one. Push closer to God, he will give you sttength, prayers.
First off if he tells you to move out, don’t!! You can get him for abandonment. Since you have not worked during your marriage he possibly could have to pay spousal support, and don’t forget child support. Start looking for a job immediately. The government can help you if you ask for food stamps, daycare, and maybe a check for awhile to help with rent and etc. If there is any money in the bank start withdrawing it and making your own separate account to put the money in. Don’t go and withdraw everything out at once or it will be obvious and start a whole other argument. That way at least you won’t be completely broke if he decides to up and leave out of nowhere.
As for your mental stability, maybe go to counseling and get help. Don’t fall into a depression because it’s hard to get out of. Be strong for yourself and your child. You can and will get through this and come out stronger than you went in. Don’t lose your self worth because he feels the need to leave. You will gain your own independence and confidence back.
Is their a way you can live under the same roof till you are on your feet. For your daughters safety as well.
My Mom went through this last year. Honestly you need to move back with family, tell them what’s going on. My mom hasn’t been in the work field for over 20 years and didn’t want to go on welfare or get any social assistance but when you gotta do it, you gotta do it. She now is on welfare, living with my brother until she can get her head straight. I suggest you do the same. Family are the only ones who are truly there for you.