Well, thank you for this, I am a MIL that wanted to be with my son and his wife when they are having their child. It is a home birth and I was under the impression it is partially so both grandmothers could be there. My DIL told me only her mom and my son, I felt slighted. I understand her reasons and it is her 1st experience. I of course will abide by her wishes and look forward to meeting my new granddaughter when they are ready.
It should be her choice and if she doesnāt feel comfortable around her mother in law, most definitely.I wasnāt asked to be with my daughter in law and it turned out okay. Husband should respect her wishes.
Personally, I feel the birth is such a private and intimate moment between husband and wife, I donāt think ANYONE should be in there except the new parents and medical personnel. That is how my husband and I wanted it. Him more so than me. I am so thankful it was just us two. Bonded us even closer.
Fair? This is a situation where all that matters is how SHE feels. He really doesnāt get a vote. Her body, her rules.
Personally I think only you n husband should be there ā¦ you created it alone bring it in to the world alone ā¦ no feelings hurt !!!
I was present at a birth of a very close friend. It was at that time Iāve decided that I did not ever want to be present when my daughter gave birth and hereās why. I know I would feel helpless and could not do anything to relieve my daughters pain. So, no thanks.
I am a mother in law! I am the mother of her husband the grandmother of that child too! His mother has the same right to be in there to support her child too. Thank God my daughter in laws thought I deserved that same privilege as her mother. And I am mother of one daughter and I agree my son in laws mother deserves the same right as well! One day when your sons have children and your the mother in law you will understand as well!
If your mom is welcome his mom should be welcome
He got the wrong woman pregnant if you canāt accept his family
My daughter and son in law were the only ones in the room during all 3 of her deliveries. His mother was pitching a fit about being in the room. She was never pleasant to be around anyway. My daughter asked me if I would be okay if I wasnāt in with her, and I told her I thought it was a perfect solution. My son in law was on board with this too. His mother said she would just keep checking to see when they were admitted so she could come up and be in the room. I worked at the hospital and I told my daughter to be admitted āconfidentiallyā so she wouldnāt show up on the roster. So she did.
I know that it is her birthing experience and I know that she wants her mother there support, but she should also consider the mother-in-law as well. Not to mention, if the shoe was on the other foot,wouldnāt she want her mother there if she was in her husbandās shoes. It is not about her spreading eagle in front of her mother-in-law, but the grandmother on the fatherās side wants the same experience as her mother is receiving.
Tell him to spread bald eagle on a bed for 3 hrs with your parents in the room and see how he feels about that!!
For god sake just tell him no way and jog on
Tell you husband you want YOUR mother in the room next time you practice making baby #2ā¦
Sorry but thatās what you get for getting married to a Mummyās boy, god they make you sick.
Itās this simple. Tell your husband the next time heās passing a kidney stone, to get undressed from the waist down and head to the bedroom. Then, call your mother. Send her into the bedroom with your half dressed husband until the kidney stone has passed. Make sure she has a camera to catch the agony, and ābirthā of his precious stone. Then, and only then, will he have some symbolence of what you feel like during childbirth and will he be able to have a say in your decision!
While it is certainly your right to choose who you want in the birthing room, imagine the bond you would create between you, your mother in law, and the baby. My DIL allowed me in and it was the most special gift she could have ever given me. I was trained right with being allowed into the birthing room with my daughter firstā¦you are there to observe onlyā¦opinions and assist ONLY if requested.
My don wanted me in with him and my daughter in law allowed it. Itās just as important for the other grandmother to share as it is for your mom, it is also her grandchild not your sisters. If you love your husband respect his wishes on this, it is just as much his child.
So sorry for you to be in this situation. You should be comfortable with who you want. I was 21 when I gave birth to my first born my husband was working away and I gave birth alone. Sorry but your husband should support you and be their himself to experience the birth
I so agree. Just your husband. To let your mom and not his, splitting yours and his family. It is his child also.
Both moms and sister can wait in the waiting room and let this be a beautiful experience for the parents. THEN see their grandbaby when they have had their bonding time. My ex daughter-in-law wouldnāt even let us at the hospital for days! But mom and two sisters were there. Not a good time for my son or us!
As a labor and delivery nurse I can tell youā¦. Iāve seen it ALL. Recommendation, no one but your husband. Allow yourself to become a family of three for just a minute.
If the woman who is giving birth is uncomfortably with her mother or mother in law she has that right to be
With my first child I had my husband and his oldest niece, which she was only there to hold my hand during contractions. My mother lived 400 miles away and unable to travel and my MIL understood why I did not want her in the room with me. My 2nd child I had his other niece(sister of the 1st niece) and husband in the room, same reason-to hold my hand through the contractions.
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Was she there when the two of you MADE the baby?! She definitely doesnāt belong in there. If you give in to this, she will continue to push you around during the entire childhood of this kiddo. And it appears your husband will probably allow her to do this. Iām telling you, especially because you already said youāre not comfortable with her in the first place, it will ruin you guys. Do not cave on this oneā¦ sheāll feel like sheās now in control.
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I agree. If heās going to continue to act like an ass, and make her feel uncomfortable, he doesnāt need to be in there with her. The fact that this woman keeps pushing, and isnāt acting to calm her son down about his wifeās decision, is very telling in itself. I wouldnāt want her in there with me either.
Yet sheās the one who will be giving birth, not him. Yes, itās his baby too, but when it comes to giving birth, he will not be the one going through the birthing process with his legs and junk hanging out in the open. She has no obligation to allow the MIL in. For me, it was my husband, my mom, and her partner, the two women who raised me. Iād have never let anyone else in that room with me. I understand his disappointment, but sheās made her decision. Her MIL is very pushy. Would you want Mrs. Pushy Pants in the delivery room with you, telling you to push harder? No, you wouldnāt.
With the way heās been acting, Iād tell him that he can sit this one out too. Heās an ass.
We didnāt want anyone but my husband and the doctors in there to keep it fair since I really really did not want my own mom there. When I had to go for an emergency c section my MIL tried to reason that she needed to support my husband. The Dr. turned around and told her I was only allowed 1 person in there and she was pretty sure I wanted it to be my husband so she was just going to have to deal with it.
When men start giving birth they can have whomever they choose in the delivery room!!!
Up until then, the person giving birth gets to decide who they feel most comfortable with, who will be their cheer team, who gets to see them at their most vulnerable moment!
Letās not forget how little dignity is involved in child birth! You need people there you can relax with, can feel unselfconscious with and who are there solely to support you!
I get it, his mum wants to be there to see her grand baby bornā¦ understandably. However as a woman whoās given birth herself she has to understand that you have no reason to want her thereā¦ you want YOUR mum and YOUR sister.
His mum can and should be the babies first visitor absolutely. But she has no reason to be in the delivery room if you arenāt closeā¦ as clearly supporting you is a secondary reason for her presence, meeting the baby is her primary objective. That IS NOT WHAT A BIRTH IS ABOUT!! The DELIVERY ROOM is about supporting the mother and bringing the baby safely into the world. Not about being first in line to have a peek at the baby.
If your husband/boyfriend is that upsetā¦ tell him to wait outside with her and keep her company! You donāt need stroppy, negative behaviour in that room with your, you donāt need attitude or people who arenāt there to SUPPORT YOU!!
If you were close with your mother in law, Iād understand the request to be thereā¦ since you donāt get on it is an absolutely unreasonable request!!
I agree with everything except thatās its mom birthing experience. Itās their birthing experience they both are the parents. Otherwise o agree if sheās not comfortable with whoever in the room. Its her right to say no.
This is a very private moment. Who on earth would want in-laws in when you are all out in the open. The request is unreasonable. The pregnant mother is the one who gets to choose who is in the room during birth and has the right to have someone removed if they push their way in.