I went to my annual Christmas party at work with around 300 people. my husband could not go o went alone, dressed up. he is now mad at me because I wore makeup. I’m talking foundation and eyes. that’s all…I don’t wear makeup except on occasion, but apparently this was t an occasion to him. he now thinks I dressed up to cheat on him. he has always told me he trusts me . I feel lied to and hurt AND since when can a woman not wear makeup to a party. am I wrong?
We are having staff lunch today - bringing and sharing a few bits in a booked meeting room.
I’m dressed in sparkles and full make up.
Husband said I look amazing.
You need a new husband.
Tell him to get over it, husband doesn’t mean boss , it means trust, love and support
Umm strange reaction from him tbh. My husband’s doesn’t like makeup but he would never react like that about me wearing it.
Projection & gaslighting.
Sounds like projection to me
Wear make up whenever you want!
Youre husband seems insecure.
Amy-Lee Spicer-Bishop
Run girl! That’s pretty unreasonable and controlling!
Sounds like what he’s been up to something himself
Rhonda Tyus is right. The make up isn’t the issue. Its his problem. Talk it through or, if you can afford it therapy.
Your husbands feeling insecure in your relationship. So try and figure out why together. Could just be a moment he’s having or it could be something more.
There’s a root to the problem itself you guys just have to figure out what it is
Your husband doesn’t deserve his title
Sounds narcissistic and controlling dump his ass
He needs to get a grip!! Obviously felt jealous about you going out without him and wanted to upset you !!
There’s nothing wrong with wearing make up to a Christmas party that’s at work. You need to put your foot down and not let him control you. He can either be cheating himself or he’s very insecure. My baby daddy always got mad when I wore make up and dressed up, he wasn’t cheating, he was just very insecure. I eventually got tired of it among other things as well and we broke up. I’m now with a guy that doesn’t care what I wear or care if I go out with make up and it feels amazing. Like I said keep putting your foot down about this and don’t let him control you by any means. If you need to you might have to leave him so you don’t stay in a toxic environment that’ll just bring you down mentally and emotionally.
You wearing makeup isn’t the issue, however his insecurities are the problem. Insecurity behavior can stem from the kind of childhood he had, past traumas, recent experiences of failure or rejection, loneliness, social anxiety, negative beliefs about himself may need to be explored more through therapy.
No, leave him. Yes that simply. It’s controlling and abusive behaviour. Run whilst you can.
He needs to grow up. He’s acting like a child.
Red flag- usually that means they’re hiding something. Insecure/guilty conscience. It’s also very controlling & manipulative. That will just get worse. Any secure husband/boyfriend would be happy to see you look either way. You def need to do some re-evaluating.
Also, you should be able to wear whatever the H3LL you want!!!
Well. Either this is red flags or he’s jealous he didn’t get to.
What?!
This can’t be real!
Throw the whole husband away!
That is controlling and manipulative that’s how a lot of abusive relationships start they will throw a fit till eventually you give in to keep the peace between yall in my opinion it will escalate.
Sounds pretty controlling to me
Honey, he’s being ridiculous! When going to any type of an event, we always dress up! Just don’t worry about it.
Truth be told, he’s most likely cheating. A cheater is quick to project that on you. Start paying a little more attention to what he’s doing.
Why is he still your husband
He us a controlling jerk.
Thats not a husband that’s someone who has a guilty conscience
Let him be mad not your problem its his and he is the one whole needs to sort his sh*t out
He could be projecting his wrongs on you… and no you’re not wrong
A person can wear makeup when ever the hell they want.
That’s a big nope from me. Tell him to grow up, what is this middle school?
He is tearing you down rather than lifting you up. Of course you’re not wrong. When you invited him, he knew you’d be dressed with make up for the 300 person annual Christmas party. You said he couldn’t come, but if he was going to make it a big deal he should have done whatever he had to do to be there with and FOR you. You should feel great about yourself knowing (1) you went anyway knowing full well your spouse should have been there, (2) that you must have looked absolutely beautiful for him to cause such a ruckus over some make up. I would start wearing make up more often and see if this man remembers himself and starts acting right. I doubt he will. But you should feel good about yourself and don’t even think about letting his horrible behavior make you feel you did something wrong. You did everything right it sounds like. Good luck mama.
Gross, your husband sucks.
I would start wearing makeup every single day, but I’m petty
Sounds like he’s cheating.
He’s either gaslighting you because he’s cheating or jealous… He’s an ass and needs to grow the hell up - so what you put make up on, maybe you just wanted to feel good and do something special for a special occasion (and yes a Christmas party is an event/ occasion)
Throw the whole man out. Hes trash and projecting.
When I go out with the girls I dress up to feel sexy. My boyfriend of 7 years is always complimenting me not being a jealous prick. Find you someone that loves when you take time for yourself and get all dolled up.
These bloody mean headed men, when they hurt ya, they hurt ya good. Bunch of bastards
Sounds like u need a real husband. Not a douche bag
Is he always like that is the question?
Does he always treat you like this?
Why would he get mad that you wanted to look nice?
Is he cheating?
You go ahead and put on that make up and you go look gorgeous for the night and forget him.
My ex got mad one day when I wore my hair down and said i was cheating cause I had my hair down. Then I started noticing that regardless of wearing hair down or not he was still accusing me then it turned to financial abuse and physical and sexual abuse from him. And after getting ahold of his phone one night I did look thru it and yup he was cheating on me including with this girl from subway which was easy to figure out with that one cause when I went in there with him I noticed how she kept glaring at me then when he got closer to me she slammed the sandwich down and went to the restroom and slammed the door. All I kept thinking was damn that sandwich didn’t do nothing wrong to her (). So just to be sure I had us go to that particular subway and brought my child with us a couple times and same reaction so I finally said something on the lines with ***** why is she glaring at me and why is she mad what did I do to her and he didn’t respond and when I noticed she was watching I said so is this the woman you’re cheating on me with me or is the other one down in Arkansas or is it the other down the street … is this the chick who was in my car or was it the other one… and let me tell ya I was petty that day and didn’t care one bit cause I was about to kick him out anyways so. Fast forward a few months and we finally get him out 100% and to a bus station and a week later I go to that particular subway and I asked her she did admit showed me a couple pictures and I told her next time she needs to be a woman instead of acting like a child and just say something and come to find out all he did was tell her lies and I told her she’s lucky I got him on a bus outta town or he would’ve went and lived with her and she would’ve been abused by him and used by him etc.
Girl, your husband is a narcissist
The one accusing is using the one cheating. I’d do a thorough check through his phone including deleted photos/messages files and you’ll get your answer.
Controlling at its Best!! Nope I’d wear it everyday now and look at him and Smile ,do not let him make you feel bad for making yourself feel good ,he has some insurcurity going on !! Be you !!
I’m a sahm and never wear makeup, but when I do it’s when I go somewhere and never get any lip from my husband.
Controlling behavior!! NOPE!!!
Wear makeup every single day from now on. Make him feel so insecure it eats him alive. How dare he put that on you!
Yikes. Clearly he has some issues with his self that he needs to work out. That reaction and behavior has nothing to do with you and everything to do with him.
You are your own person, you’re not owned. If you want to wear some makeup, you get to do that!
Definitely a red flag for sure or there’s way more to the story. If that’s the whole story, then it might be time to move on before he becomes abusive along with controlling.
Red flag. That’s controlling. I wear it daily and would not let my husband have a say in whether or not I did.
I wear makeup whenever I feel like doing it
don’t walk, RUN!! My ex husband was like this and extreme to the point he picked out what I wore every single day! Skirts and shorts were an absolute NO NO. It only gets worse as time goes on! My husband now has never said anything about wearing makeup, what I wear, etc. Actually compliments me and encourages me to step out of my comfort zone when we have formal events or just a date night. Your husband is hiding something, his guilty conscience is shining oh so bright. Definitely do some soul searching, if you can, talk to him and if he is able to comprehend your point of view (which doesn’t seem like he will) then you have all the answers you need. I agree with Shayla Grace Blackburn & all the other ladies that have commented on this post! I’d wear makeup every single day and when he says something, shut him down! You’re a grown woman! NEVER AGAIN WILL I LET OR ALLOW someone that is a partner or spouse to have rules or limitations on how I dress, wear makeup, hairstyles or colors, etc. LIFE IS TO SHORT FOR THIS CHILDISH MESS!! YOU DESERVE BETTER
This is controlling and he needs to get over it.
The one doing the accusing is usually the one doing the actual thing. Trust is a major factor in a marriage…….
He’s insecure and probably the cheater. If you’ve never given him reason to doubt you this is totally unreasonable and controlling behavior.
Something else must be bugging him. Just talk to him not related to the party it seems like an off side argument perhaps he’s mad about something else
I personally don’t wear makeup, I don’t like at all. But Is he serious! Not being allowed to get ready for a Christmas party for work. Then starts assuming you’re going to cheat🙄 … red flags everywhere! My husband has a Christmas party every year with his job, he is in construction, I have never once gone or gotten mad at him for going to such parties. They’re literally full of men! Maybe 1-2 girls that work in the main company office but besides that I have never once told him he can’t go or anything of the sort. Maybe your husband is just mad he couldn’t go with you but him starting to assume and make you feel bad for even going is not right.
Danger Will Robinson Danger
Red flag. Twist of events, he’s the cheater.
Not wrong at all, something else is going on and you need to figure out what that is if he’s never been like this before.
No hunni
Your not wrong
I think he is insecure
Tell him straight out
I said he has to stop being a sook
And he has to embrace the way you want to look
A bit of foundation and some lippy
Are great
Sorry but sounds like very loud warning bells. X X all the best
He should tell you yoy look good. Thats a whole lot of crazy and insecurity that has nothing to do with you and all him. Wear make up when you want. A spouse is supposed to be a partner not a dictator on when/if you can wear make up.
You’re not wrong. It’s your body/face. He has no right to control it. That’s exactly what he’s trying to do. Control you. I bet this isn’t the only time. He’s likely been very critical over how you dress, who you spend time with & other things, probably everything you’ve done. But he “explains” it & you believe his expectation so you change it. If you don’t you likely get the silent treatment or other punishment. Revaluate this relationship. It could be time to leave.
Projecting big time major red flag
That’s a weird reaction. There’s nothing wrong with dressing up for a work party.
New husband so sad for you
Loud warning bells. Classic signs of the start of an abusive relationship. He may be cheating on you, as someone said already- projection.
I literally wear makeup every single day. I couldn’t imagine my husband having anything to say about What I put on MY face.
That’s very immature of him to be this way. Sounds controlling to me.
I’m sorry,he is sick.Get help.
He’s projecting and cheating on you. Run.
Thats a giant big red flag girly
Remind him that he’s not the boss of you. What an insult he made to you. Start looking for a real man who’s comfortable with you being in charge of your own life
Hate to be Debbie downer here. But usually if they’re that unreasonable and crazy about you cheating - it’s usually because they are! And if he’s not- sounds controlling and just whiny/jerky. A husband is supposed to be your support and safe haven. Not a jealous chaotic tornado.
I’d definitely bring it up and just discuss it to see if there’s more to the story/ what is up. you need to let him know (calmly) how it made you feel and that you don’t like it and won’t tolerate being talked to like that. And walk away!
That’s red flag controlling Vibes right there that’s not right and you shouldn’t put up with it
He could possibly be projecting. I would look into why he was not able to come more closely. Sometimes when someone accuses you of something, they are the party who is actually guilty.
Ummm… usually that’s a protection of them.
This will only get worse. Please protest yourself.
Honey, Iev been on this planet half a century, It’s been My experience the GUILTY Dog barks FIRST ! When a Man starts throwing accusations of Cheating, He’s Afraid you’re going to do something HE has already done. This has Nothing to do with your wearing Makeup, it’s about His subconscious whispering to him, She’s beautiful and Deserves better than Me.
Your with the wrong man. No man should be able to or the woman allow him to tell her what to wear. He has a guilty conscience about something.
My ex husband was like that. He was the cheater. Do what you’d like with that info.
Therapy or leave… my ex used to say the same thing…. But he was the one having affairs.
Sounds like he is controlling! Not to mention, maybe it’s him that shouldn’t be trusted!
Throw the whole husband away!
He sounds immature. I would ignore him and not let that get to me. How dare he?
He is cheating…. He is really projecting and self reflecting. Start digging.
I don’t even need to know how much makeup you put on. It’s irrelevant.
This is the classic first sign of cheating. Step back look at the big picture. You will start to see things a little more clearer.
If he isn’t cheating he needs some serious help and I worry for the abuse you’re under.
I hope you’re strong enough to walk away. Once you see the picture.
I’d ask him if he’d like to put some makeup on since he’s acting like a little b*tch
That is a very Insecure man right there. He is trying to control you. Please don’t let him.
Just going to say he’s probably cheating if he’s accusing you. Even if it’s nothing physical
He’s very insecure and jealous he needs to get over it maybe he’s the one chesting
You’re treated how you allow yourself to be treated
He is soooo controlling. That wouldn’t fly with me at all. Tell him to kiss ur butt! He must be insecure.
He sounds controlling and insane.
No she isn’t wrong, he sounds a bit insecure I mean why object to her dressing up , has he been cheeky when he is out with his friends if he can’t learn to trust his partner then there is problems ahead in this marriage…I think he needs to come clean with you.he knows your attractive and probably thinks you will mess about.just don’t let yourself down by getting drunk. Have fun.
My hubby wouldn’t react to me wearing makeup like that. I think there’s something going on that he’s just not saying keep your eyes and ears open. Something must be going on.
Next office party wear a burlap sack, put on a mud mask and some leg irons and he’ll still be just as insecure
My ex husband is a narcissist and was like. It’s not you it’s him. It’s his issues and his insecurities and I’m sorry he did this to you. It’s wrong and uncalled for. Your partner should compliment and praise you not make you feel bad.
Sounds controlling and petty