Keep it off of fb, or maybe hecis j8st an asshole but you married him…lol,
Record him being an ass multiple times then share the compilation video publicly so ppl can rip on him. Ppl love to be ugly about things in private 
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Night terrors are the worst. Poor girl 
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If she’s truly having night terrors like that go to the doctor but it seems like she is taking advantage of the situation. My husband helped me get my daughter out of the sleeping with me thing when we started dating. I miss her snuggles sometimes but I sleep sooo much better now. Occasionally we have “sleepovers” with the kids but they do really well in their bed.
I don’t think he should have to leave the bed. If one of the kids wants me I will go to the living room if it’s to the point they need more than just a big or reassuring. But usually unless they’re sick we al end up asleep in our own beds. Maybe try saying something comforting and then going to her room with her to lay down until she’s either asleep or feels better. She is at an age where I think that’s appropriate.
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If it’s every night then he’s validated in speaking up because every night is a bit excessive. If it’s only every now and then remind him that that’s part of parenthood.
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What is his reason? Kids need to feel comfortable. My daughter is always welcome to come snuggle my bf just gets up and goes to the couch.
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I used to have night terrors as a child. My mom got me a dream catcher and put it above my bed in my room. They catch bad dreams. Maybe get her one, or let her pick one out and explain what they do! It really helped me!
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Put a lock on the inside of your bedroom door before someone walks in and scars their retina.
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He’s got the morning wood … Just take him in the bathroom… No but seriously, it’s more deep than your daughter is in the bed with you. Speak to your husband about what the real problem with it is.
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Let your husband sleep in a room by himself at night, and you sleep with your daughter. Sounds like he’s jealous and doesn’t want to share you. Always put her needs first.
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Counseling for your daughter and family counseling. Get to the root of the problem. I am begging you, OP. Do it. Your marriage provides security and stability for your daughter, and needs to be highly prioritized. That doesn’t mean that you neglect your daughter, but it also doesn’t mean that your spouse gets whatever scraps of attention are left over.
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Children’s needs (food, clothing, shelter, medical care, moral training, protection and rescue from any danger)
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Spouse’s needs - attention, appreciation, affirmation, intimacy, companionship
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Spouse’s wants
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Children’s wants
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No put her back in her bed
Go in her room .
To make feel safe.
I get where your husband is coming from…
He is a guy.
Do you realize how many innocent men go to jail because of the daughters
Not saying yours .
But DCF would not look kindly at this.
Even if it is innocent
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Tell him if he has a problem with it, he’s welcome to sleep elsewhere. I get him getting frustrated, but making your kid feel like crap for it isn’t ok. He the adult and it’s his job to adjust for his child, not the other way around
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First off a 9 yr shouldn’t be coming in ur room every night. I have a 9 yr old and she never comes in my room. Maybe occasionally if there’s a nightmare and i go back to her room qitth her to cuddle if she come in. Now my husband does complain when. My 5 yr old did it for a full week bc she would sleep next to me and we would wake up sore
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My son gets nightmares sometimes. He usually comes in and I go back to his room with him and cuddle till he’s back asleep. Or if he’s really upset we cuddle in my bed and then I’ll take him back to his bedroom. The only tile my boyfriend has said anything is when my son scares me when he comes in and I jump, so it wakes him up 
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Get rid of the husband and snuggle that child. 
Seriously, maybe speak to her dr about it, but in the mean time make her comfortable. Tell your husband he has you for life, you wont have her snuggles in bed much longer. Tell him to get over it and stop jumping on her in morning esp before school.
Be honest with him how you feel and try to get help for her sleep
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He is right. You cant feed her behavior talk to her about her fears. Make her feel safe. Teach her a coping mechanism. Bc by her going to you room only makes her even more insecure and fearful.
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My kid walks in 2 seconds after he shuts his eyes and says he has a bad dream, and it’s always something big trying to eat him. At first I was like you, but now I’m upset at myself for being manipulated by a 6 year old
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Shut him in a room landlocked from the outside and have her be with you until the nightmares/nightterrors are resolved
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Tell him to f off. I always told my husband, one day she won’t want to sleep with us and she doesn’t anymore. They’ll remember all these little things and who was there and who was mean.
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My son used to get scared in the night when he was little. It didn’t take me long to figure out that he was waking up afraid. His father was one who would never have tolerated him coming into our room at night or me going into his room. I needed to handle the problem without there being WW3. Dreamcatchers weren’t a thing then, but I still had my plastic horse collection from when I was a little girl. There is one of a palomino horse, resting up on its hind legs, pawing the air with its front hooves, its ears flat against its head. I picked up that horse and took it in my son’s room and put it on his dresser. I told him I had had this horse since I was a little girl. I told him it was a protective horse and it kept away all evil things and bad dreams. It was there to remind him that he was safe. Then I went and sat down on the side of his bed and told him that we would leave the horse there for as long as he wanted. I also put my Bible next to the horse and told him to remember Jesus was watching out for him too… even though he couldn’t see Jesus. I gave him a kiss and told him I loved him… then went back to bed. There was no more problem. The horse stayed in his room for about 6 months.
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Snuggle her eventually she will be bigger and older and not want to anymore enjoy it while it lasts I feel your husband side as well thou my 3 year old and 5 almost 6 year old will go to sleep in there room and always end up in my bed and with cats on me as well even a king size is not big enough I’m squished every night toddler on my arm son at my feet 2 cats on top of me and husband on other side sometimes I want the bed to myself but I know eventually they will grow out of it and I do feel so loved uncomfortable but super loved
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Go to her bed.
My husband got pissy because our dog with cancer needs me quite a bit thru the night & so I started sleeping on the couch next to my dog.
It won’t last forever, only until my best friend passes away. & No it’s not the same as a child, but regardless, you help those you love get thru their problem, no matter what time of day or night. 
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Is it effecting his sleep for work the next day?. Could loss of sleep cause him to get hurt at work?.
Have you taken your daughter to a dr and writing down when these night terrors are happening so you can figure out what is triggering them?.
Are they night terrors or just nightmares?. Most I know with night terrors don’t wake up and don’t remember them or what happen the next day. It’s like sleepwalking with a major nightmare and yelling and throwing things.
Maybe go sleep with her in her room so it dosent disturb everyone in the house.
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Night terrors are not just bad dreams. You need to show him. Night terrors happen when they are going into I think stage 2 (if I’m not mistaken) and the fear response gets triggered. They bolt up and start screaming and thrashing around. They have no idea what they are doing during this time and waking them can make it ten times worse. You have to wait it out and just make sure they don’t hurt themselves until it is over. My son gets them.
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It’s probably because he has to get up and get dressed. And guys feel uncomfortable when kids get that old in same room. Try to get her back to her room before he starts his day
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I remember my dad getting mad at me when I would wake them up, when I was scared during the night, horrible
Cuddle your daughter kids get scared and need comforting no matter what age they are.
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He’s right. I wouldn’t allow it either. She’s at an age where she understands how to self soothe. Yes, my daughter had night terrors as well. We figured it out. You can get up and put her back in her bedroom and tuck her in. Stay with her until she’s calmed down. She shouldn’t be allowed to sleep in your room. It’s different if it’s a once in a blue moon thing but not consistently. Has a doctor confirmed these are night terrors? Or just bad nightmares?
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Unpopular opinion take her to therapy to manage the night terrors and make sure she doesn’t have adhd. 9 is outside the normal scope of night terrors and sound like she’s over stimulated
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So we have a daughter that had night tears for years. She’s 11 now or I’m sorry. Almost 11 and what our daughter’s psychologist said is that you basically teach her to cope. You get her through the night there but then you put her back in her room because she want your child to understand that that room is a safe space. You don’t want to teach them that every time they have a night terror they can come into your individual space. Also, if it’s getting to the point where it’s disturbing the house, I’m not sure why you have not taken her to a therapist yet
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My daughter did this untill she was ten. I would try and take her back to her bed.
Reeeeaaally, so snuggle that child and disturb his sleep.
Well, if a spouse, man or woman, is told to wait 18 years for the child to grow up for some consideration, attention, etc there will be no marriage left when the kids are grown and gone.
So many people divorce when the children are grown just because of this idea.
The marriage must be nurtured and considered as important as the child. Not more important but as important.
The child should be brought back to her own bed. If Mom feels she needs to be snuggled, then Mom can stay in the daughter’s bed and snuggle for a few minutes.
The child has and is training the Mom.
Sheeeeesh…
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Tell him to go sleep in her bed and you snuggle your child
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I’d try to get her back into her routine of sleeping in her own room. Sleep is important and at this point its kind of disrupting all of your sleep habits. I’d be a little upset too, hopefully he is not being a D about it tho.
This is coming from someone who used to wait 20 min after bed, look in the mirror of my plastic barbie vanity and mess up my hair a bit, then run to my moms room saying I had a nightmare. (My dad usually got pushed and beat up in the process too 
) And it was VERY easy for me to get used to this being normal. Even when I was older there were periods of time I would just start sleeping in my moms room and at bed time I would just go there like it was expected. Don’t be that parent and child!
Good luck mama 
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My 6 yr old daughter was just in our room. I didn’t know she was behind me and I rolled over and she fell off the bed… She left the room… I go to bed with no kids in my bed and wake up with 2/3 in my bed very seldomly. Sometimes it’s annoying… They all lay on my side but the other half gets mad. I dont worry about it to bad cause they are sleeping and normally not in my way, nor all the time. She’s anxious for School…
Send him to the couch !
When shes asleep in your bed get him to carry her back to her room
Whats her terrors try to find the cause
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Well 1)does she wake you both when coming to the bed? Does he do office work or heavy machinery? 2 ) I’d his problem with sharing “you” or is his problem getting woken up every single night, and shoved out bed? 3) can your husband go back to sleep easily? If I get woken up, it’s at LEAST 2 hours before I’m able to go back to sleep…4)Does he want her out of the bed because his very real basic needs for rest are being disrupted every night, and it’s negatively impacting his mental health and job, or Is it just him deciding he is over that part of parenting? Have you bothered to ask him WHY it bothers him,or do you tell your PARTNER that you don’t care what he thinks or why he feels that way, because you’ll do what you want?
Don’t you worry his resentment for you and the child is building because he’s not allowed to have an undisturbed night of sleep? Is asking to be allowed to sleep through the night after 9 YEARS really THAT unreasonable?
Anyway if the problem is the actual bed, get a trundle bed for your child’s room and move in there when she wakes so he can sleep through the night. If the problem is the actual cuddling, yall will have to deal with that in therapy. Either way you are both going to build and harbor resentment for each other until you actually deal with the problem, and “my way or screw you” doesn’t work in a marriage. You should start with TALKING to your spouse and LISTENING to WHY this bothers them SO much. Until you figure that out, there’s no way to give you good advice.
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Tell him to grow up and go sleep in a different room or let her stay for a little while and then have him get up and put her back in her room. There’s nothing you can do about night terrors, idk what taking her to a doctor is going to do besides waste your time and gas.
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I grew up not being allowed in my parents room, even though that’s where my mom always was. I wasn’t even allowed near the door way to talk to her. So I’ve always been the mom my kids can be wherever I’m at, & my youngest at almost 7 still sleeps with me when my husband isn’t home. I can see how it may be a bit much to have 3 people in bed and it does suck having your sleep disturbed. Maybe you go cuddle with her in her bed or on the couch when she has a bad dream? That way she still gets the support and it doesn’t disturb your husband. My ex hated that I let our youngest sleep with me, & I remember all the hateful fights over it. Ultimately you need to comfort your child, they’re only little for a little while and she’s going to remember you being there when she was scared. Night terrors are just that, terrifying. I’m a grown adult and I still rely on my husband when I have nightmares.
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Does she have a nightlight in her room? I bet that would help her feel more comfortable in her bed.
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Obvious by these comments who knows what night terrors are and that they are not nightmares
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Smack him. He shouldn’t be fussing at her at all… He should start sleeping in her room alone then…
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He doesn’t realize she’s going to be a teenager so soon and not want these snuggles anymore. He better just enjoy them while they last.
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Tell him to BAD and if he dont like go sleep somewhere else!!!
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Welllllll I may be the wrong person to comment but My daughter still comes in my room and she’s almost 3 but if my other half can’t sleep he just goes in her room. I don’t really care tho, if my daughter needs me she gets me 
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Give her a space on your side of the bed so she can be near you but not in bed with you so she doesn’t disturb you or her father. But also tell him to chill out bc many an mean many kids do this. There are kids well into their teens that do this. Hell my older kids are 21 ,19, and 16 and they all do it. Maybe not as often as a 9 y/o but it still happens. He needs to stop being negative about it and talk to her about why she does it an explain to her the rational an irrational reasons why she is doing it. Yeah she’s 9 but she’s not stupid if you explain rationality to her about what is making her uncomfortable it will help her break it down and work through it instead of being upset or scared. Not only will it help her but it can be a way for him an her to bond and it will help teach him to be more involved in the why your child does things as opposed to the inconvenience to him he thinks it is.
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That would piss me off as well,help her to calm down in her own bed
Kick his ass to the couch. Problem solved!
One day she won’t need those snuggles and you’ll miss them. Does he snuggle her too? Because he might understand more if he gets in on the snugs. 
Talk to.him and u both need to come to an agreement…your child could be harmed by his complaints…
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Is he having difficulty sleeping because of this? Is her being in there taking away your alone time with him, even if it’s just talking and cuddling? Children don’t automatically rule the house and alot of parents still need a child free space to take a breath. I go to my kids rooms at night if they need me. They definitely aren’t going to sleep in mine. That’s our child free space to just relax and whatever. They come in if the door is open and hang out and chat, but otherwise it’s important for me to know if I need a minute, I can easily just go in and shut the door. I won’t go in their rooms without permission either so they have the same courtesy of a safe, quiet space. I knock if their door is closed etc.
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Tell him to shut it and just enjoy the snuggles because he’s going to blink and she’s a teenager not wanting anything to do with him… my kids are 17, 15 and 6… so I know how fricken fast things go and there’s ALWAYS a last time for everything and you’ll never know when that will be… so I’m taking in all the snuggles my 6 year old will give me.
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We don’t have enough info here.
- Does the mom work?
- Is this affecting the dad’s ability to safely/competently work?
- Why is the dad uncomfortable? is it just about sleep disruption or is it something like he likes to sleep naked?
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My 5 year old still comes in our room when she wakes. My so needs his sleep. He works a physical job. I bought her a little roll away nap bed and i leave it by my bed and roll it out when she comes in.
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What type of movies or video games does she watch? There are several things that can cause the night problems and that needs to be addressed. As for your child, take her back to her bed, cuddle, reassure, then go back to your bed
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If you teach your child she can’t come to you now, she won’t come to you later. I don’t care who it is, my child will never be made to think he can’t come to me when he needs me. Shame.
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Tbh I’d just move into my kid’s room. 
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Go sleep with her…leave him in his bed .
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What a jerk. My son is 10 and still comes in our room sometimes at night. Instead of yelling at her my husband ask him why? Did you have a bad dream? Did you feel alone? My son simple tells us sometimes he just felt alone so he wanted to come in our room which is 100% ok. We only have a full bed or he would be crawling in bed with us. There have been plenty nights he says he wants to sleep in our room most night he’s on the floor but every once in a while he wants in the bed. My husband moves to the couch with no complaints at all.
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She’s 9, tell her it’s a nightmare and give her a nightlight. This is something she’s gonna have to learn to deal with herself.
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I’d move the big bed in her room give him the little bed and sleep with her…
Kids won’t be kids forever
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Start sleeping in your daughter’s room.
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There will come a day when she won’t come to snuggle… when you will sit there and wonder when the last time you held her, snuggled her, or even got a hug! Enjoy every second of it, as it goes by too fast. She needs to feel comfort from both of you and know that y’all are both her “safe space” maybe have a very heart felt open conversation with him. I’m sure he’s just tired and also wants alone time with his wife, but talk to him.
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So he wants to set boundaries and enjoy a nights’ sleep in his own bed, next to his wife and he’s the bad guy? Waking up in the night and self-soothing are things she should have learned when she was 9 months old not 9 years. You are creating a pattern of her not sleeping through the night and getting rewarded for it. My guess is the waking reward (and both of you are being rewarded at dad’s expense) has less to do with actual night terrors and more to do with boundaries. If she’s having true night terrors she needs to see a doctor to determine why. It’s healthy for her to respect boundaries. Set a time before bed to set on the couch and cuddle for hours if you like. This is less about cuddling and more about manipulating.
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She’s looking for comfort and this is quite literally your job as a parent.
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Yes lets all tell the man who probably works and provides for his family by busting his butt that he should not sleep comfortably Or well, Instead of getting the daughter actual help like a doctor or therapist. It’s one thing to be understanding it’s another thing to be too soft.
Yes our children should always feel like they can come to us but the point of our job is to raise them well enough to take care of themselves without us. if we’re lucky and blessed our children will outlive us… If mom wants to co-sleep she should sleep in her daughter’s bedroom and let her husband be comfortable.
My advice is talk to her doctor about the night terrors if you haven’t already, when my son started having them at 2 it was the most intense thing I saw him go through, sweats, shakes, uncontrollable sobbing, and a lot of time he was still half asleep so touching him or cuddling him made it worse. Go sleep with her in her bed and leave dad to his selfish self and bed, you can only comfort and ride them out with her. Something is triggering her for her to be having them, could be stress or something changing in the household etc.
My son and his dad and I were being verbally and emotionally abused with the people we lived with and then he had a new sibling after that. You’ve got this mama! So what you feel is right by your child.
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Wow, he sounds like a jackass! 
Meet in the middle bring her back to her bed and snuggle until she falls asleep again, maybe.
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Tell him to go to the couch if he doesn’t want his own daughter coming to bed bc she is hving night terrors or f leave all together. Ur daughter is first before ANY man or anyone, make sure she knows that by showing her and letting her come in when she feels the need to. She will eventually grow out of that and you want all those moments before they are gone when she grows up. I hv a 17 year old and I miss the snuggles. She still snuggles with me on the couch sometimes but obviously not like she used to. So u tell him to f grow up and be a good loving father or f off.
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Definitely get her a counselor bc night terrors are usually stress triggered and with her parents fighting/having tension about her being in the bed she’s got to be very conflicted and stresses to say the least… plus the counselor/psychologist can better explain whats going on to your husband and how to appropriately manage it.
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Give him a blanket and direction to the couch
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I’m glad some of you aren’t my parents. Jeez
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Your husband needs to grow up &, be a parent. Your daughter should feel that mom & dad will always be there when she needs you. He’s directly telling her that she can not depend on him. Do NOT back him up. In fact tell her she can always go to you even though it makes him mad.
I couldn’t stay with a man who refuses to be an emotional support for his kids. We’d me gone. He gets what he wants. Not to be woken up. Your daughter gets what she needs. Knowing her Mama always has her.
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They won’t sleep in your bed forever. Possibly has emotional concerns about going back to school, etc. Mental health is important. Possibly take her to her room and snuggle until she falls back to sleep. This world has changed so much. She feels safe with you .
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I would look into the night terrors more and ways to help if you haven’t already, maybe you can find her a special stuffed animal and night light or a story behind the special stuffed animal like it’s staying away to watch over her or something so when she wakes she will be comforted in it. Or walk her back to her room stay until she falls asleep or sleep with her the rest of the night
Talk to your husband alone without your daughter around. Find out exactly why he doesn’t want her coming into your bed. Actually listen to him, then work on a solution. Maybe go to her room when she wakes up. Maybe let her stay for a few minutes before she goes back to bed. Find out what’s bothering her that she’s waking everynight. Ours was hearing the sump pump thinking it was a monster, no one else could hear it. We put a noise machine in her room, no more problem. Most of all don’t make your husband feel like his opinion or wants are not important,
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I mean maybe he’s wanting adult time with his wife? I have never allowed kids in our bed. That’s always been for me and my husband and our time for us. I can see where he’s coming from
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I’d say you have a Nine year old who plays on your emotions and your husband isn’t wrong to feel how he does. She’s nine years old. Not a baby or a toddler. Obviously he is needing more alone time with you or just space to sleep comfortably. A nine year old should not be sleeping in your room consistently. I have three beautiful kids and they are my whole life. But I don’t want to sleep with them in my bed either.
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If you don’t like to sleep alone, why would your kids 
As adults, we like to sleep with our significant others. Kids have their parents.
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Well he’d hate me. My daughters been sleeping with me since she’s born and she’s almost 4 now. We sleep better together
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Ask him to sleep by himself, then. I’m sure he likes to sleep next to you and snuggle at night… yet, he’s gonna be mad at a 9 year old who had a nightmare for wanting what he gets each night.
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My fiance wont and cant sleep unless our 2 year old son is in the bed with us 
he sleeps between us every night
I can see both sides of this. Maybe he’s a light sleeper and it’s affecting his quality of sleep? If he works then he might be very tired throughout the day. The same could go for you, but if you’re okay with it, then that’s different. Maybe you should go into your daughters room to comfort her? Since you don’t mind missing the sleep.
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Every night is a little much.
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I don’t understand these comments. It doesn’t matter how old she is. She’s having night terrors. Why would you want her to sleep alone and go through that by herself?
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Tel your kid to go sleep in her room like she should be
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Make your husband sleep in her room
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My two year old is like this so we bought him a bigger bed and he wants his baby brother to move in to their room so we started the transition this week of him and brother and mom all sleep in their room it has helped alot. I will say my husband probably misses me I miss him but it’s helping us get our space back.
In a couple of years she’ll want nothing to do with either of you, he should enjoy it while it lasts!
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He shouldn’t be trying to make her feel bad by complaining at her in the mornings…if he’s that upset about it he should be discussing that with you so you guys can work out a game plan going forward to deal with this. This is why I won’t date until my child is older, I’m a mom first and everything else after, I don’t need anyone trying to make me feel bad for making sure my child is ok.
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Get her a dog to sleep with.
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If our babies come to bed with us my husband know if he gets uncomfortable hit the couch buddy. I’m not moving our sleeping babies nor telling them to sleep in their own bed. I will soak up every cuddle I can.
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Calm her down and move her back to her room. It’s a habit now. She’s using that as an excuse to get into your bed
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Maybe try explaining night terrors to him on a one on one conversation. My middle child suffers from night terrors also so I get it because she climbs into bed with us as well after most of the time. My husband doesn’t mind though because he understands she needs us to feel safe at this point of life. We have our adult time before this happens and lock the door and if she wakes up and knocks on the door we stop and cater to her needs. Kids grow out of night terrors eventually. I had them growing up as well. Your husband needs to be more supportive and understanding to his child’s problem.
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I never let my kids sleep in our room and went to their room if they needed comforting. Kids need to learn to sleep in their beds. A nightlight always helped mine. Heck I’m 59 and still use a nightlight. Having kids in our bed seriously disturbed my sleep. They had a choice between happy semi rested mom or evil exhausted mom and so the kids learned to stay in their beds. Our 4 also knew that if they were scared or needed me I’d come running. That confidence in me helped them stay in their beds. My husband sleeps like the dead so he was zero help. Funny thing is now all 4 can only sleep if their bedroom is pitch black and I’m the one sleeping with a nightlight at their houses!
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He’s mad cus he’s not getting none at one point you have to put your husband first at times. I know our children are number one but we are also wifes
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