I mean honestly, I get frustrated when my kids come in my room at night as does my husband. Once in a while is one thing but they need to sleep in their own rooms, otherwise they don’t need to have one of their own. Night terrors do occur and sometimes they just want to cuddle which is perfectly normal, but it should not be occurring every night. Especially at 9 years old. I suggest making her room feel more like a safe place. Try adding dream catchers, night lights, light strip, etc.
6 Likes
Yup I never had an issue with my kids ever cuddling with me in bed ,they are only little once 
2 Likes
I sleep so horrible because of my back and all my surgeries that I’ve had and I can barely sleep with my partner. Have you tried going in her bed with her since you don’t mind? He may not be getting good sleep to be able to function properly through the day. I personally wouldn’t make my partner suffer or resent him for wanting sleep when we also have to feel good to keep moving. Idk but I think you’re wrong on this. At 9 they are old enough to realize it’s affecting those around them, seek some help for your daughter do not resent your husband for wanting sleep.
3 Likes
You broads who don’t stick up for your children really piss me off.
Sleep with her in her room?
1 Like
Tell him he can get up and go to her room every night at the approximate time she has night terrors to soothe her!
You can try compromising and see if it gets better and when she comes into your room to snuggle because she woke up in the middle of the night pick her up and go with her back to her room and stay with her and cuddle with her in her room until she falls asleep.
3 Likes
She is 9. Let her sleep in her own bed. She’s not a toddler.
4 Likes
That’s tough. I understand all parties involved.
2 Likes
I mean I would try to figure out why she’s having night terrors in the first place…
6 Likes
Get a sleeping bag and put it on the floor next you, that way if need she could always hold your hand till she falls back to sleep. That way she’s not in your bed
4 Likes
Maybe you can accompany her back to her room and stay with her? Since it doesn’t bother you?
5 Likes
Have her come get you to snuggle in her bed so he can sleep. That’s what my mom did i had bad night terrors and most nights wound up going to mommy or daddy for snuggles or screaming from my bed as i was also terrified of the dark 
but my dsd started to get annoyed because he was also woken up every time. So my mom would either make me walk back to my room or she would come lay with me till i fell back asleep.
1 Like
Why does he get mad?
You could set up a space that isn’t actually in your bed, but in your room. Maybe some rules around it? Like she can only come in if she has a night terror, not just if she wants to.
It’s important for her to have independence and self confidence, having her stay in her own bed when she can is probably a good idea.
I wish you and her the best of luck Mama.
She’s nine. She’s old enough to sleep in her bed all night. Don’t blame him
6 Likes
Theyre only little once🤷♀️but honestly if its becoming evey night ill ask her if its ok if i come to her bed to cuddle. Having a kid in our bed screws up my neck and back.if ive alrdy have a good chunk of sleep ill let her stay but if its like 1 or 2 ill go to her bed
2 Likes
He sounds very selfish! He needs to be more understanding and try to find out why she is having night terrors!
6 Likes
My son gets them too. He also 9. He tries to come in my bed. He always came in my room. But I reward him on things he likes to not come in my bed through the night. Every week he would get something. I have two other kids as well. They also used to come in my bed. They are 9 and 6. For them all doing a good job. We got them a ps 5. When my son is alone without the other two kids here. He definitely tries to get into my bed. Reward is something that they enjoy. Try that.
When she comes in for snuggles best thing in the world feel free to tell him to sleep in her bed or literally shut the fook up xx
I used to do that as a child. My dad would get scared I was a burglar or something. My mom Put a trundle to bunk with me until I fell asleep, maybe that’s an idea? or if her bed is big enough go lay with her?
2 Likes
Sleep with her in her bed and he can sleep alone see how he likes it?
2 Likes
Make her room into dads room 
Seriously. They are only little once and not for a long time at that. She won’t always want to sleep next to you.
1 Like
She’s 9. My parents never let me sleep with them past the age of 4. Your husband has every right to expect to be able to sleep alone with his wife and get the rest he needs for work the next day. You don’t stop caring about your husband’s needs when your kids come along. While it’s true, kids are only little once, this is yours and your husband’s life. You don’t need to neglect him and choose the kids over him, when he’s the one who built this life and made those kids with you. You should still consider his feelings and needs over the kids’. He’s your life partner, and while his parenting may seem harsh to you, and I do think you both should discuss situations that you disagree on, consider that children need their fathers’ parenting as much as their mothers’.
5 Likes
Maybe go sleep in her room with her
6 Likes
There’s more going on then her just want to sleep with mommy and daddy. Take a look at what goes on in her day, before she goes to bed. Night terrors can be a more serious thing… overtired, ill, or stressed
taking a new medicine
sleeping in a new environment or away from home
not getting enough sleep
having too much caffeine… Sleep terrors (night terrors) - Symptoms and causes - Mayo Clinic Night Terrors (for Parents) | Nemours KidsHealth
5 Likes
You need to find out what is causing her to not to be able to stay in her room all night. Does she need a night light or lamp on, does she need a room check before bedtime to reassure her, does she need a noise /calming machine to sleep with? Communicate with your child and find out what is scaring her. Use a reward system for her to sleep all night in her bed.
4 Likes
Use a night light,maybe soft. calm low music.A teddy i bed make her feel safe.
2 Likes
Dad has to stop getting on to her she only a child point that out to him.
2 Likes
I can understand both sides. She needs to learn to cope herself though. You need to be teaching her how to deal with her night terrors at 9. That age she’s old enough. My husband has a very active downstairs and does NOT enjoy our kids coming into our room after dark. It’s uncomfortable for him. Uncomfortable for me now that I see it that way. So we just work around it. We stay out of our room unless it’s time for bed.
1 Like
Just remember men get boners during sleep. And this is probably why he’s uncomfortable with their daughter being in there unannounced.
Tell him to suck it up or move to the couch it won’t last forever
I need more details.
Is he upset because he was awoken each time too? Is this a nightly occurrence? I love my kids but I also despise being woken up.
Or is he more upset that she is coming in your room period?
I was not allowed in my parents(grandparents) room unless it was an emergency🤷🏽♀️ So I get that. I slept with them sometimes but rarely if my grandfather was home. It just wasn’t a thing. So maybe that’s it.
I’d really sit down and discuss this, it seems like a boundary for him and that’s okay. He may have to compromise a bit until she grows out of her night terrors and he definitely shouldn’t be hateful to her about it. However it is okay for him to not want the kids in your room at night. I don’t my kids in my room at night either.
2 Likes
She’s coming to you guys for safety. I don’t see why a parent would be mad about that.
4 Likes
l get paid over $130 per hour working from home. l never thought I’d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $18546 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is endless.
M0re Info. https://DollarProfits1215.pages.dev/
My son was 10 before he stopped crawling into bed with us in the middle of the night. There is absolutely nothing wrong with it. Think about it… Do you like sleeping alone? Humans aren’t meant to be alone. Why should we make our kids sleep alone at night as well?
1 Like
Take her back to her room, lay with her if needed. I wouldn’t let my 9 year old sleep in bed with her dad and I over night. Personally I believe children shouldn’t be sleeping in their parents bedroom at all after 6 years old.
8 Likes
My BF is like this with our 10yo now but I remind him OFTEN that I was the one saying she needed to get used to sleeping in her own bed years ago…and he was the one who said it didn’t matter. 
We are currently working on it again but I know in another year or so, she’ll stop crawling in with us on her own, so I don’t care. She’s the baby and my other 2 children are adults. It went so fast and I miss them crawling in for cuddles.
OMG, does anyone know what night terrors are? I doubt she is having night terrors.
If she is having night terrors every night she should be seeing a doctor.
First, children do not remember night terrors. They lay down and continue sleeping. Children do not awaken from night terrors. They are sleeping while having an episode.
Second children who have night terrors have a multitude of symptoms such as:
They are sound asleep though often the eyes are wide open, they are sleeping.
They will scream as though in terror, i.e. the term night terrors.
They will thrash about, typically, with eyes wide open but they are asleep.
They will sweat.
They will very rarely will sleepwalk. When sleepwalking they should be gently guided back to their own bed.
They are difficult to awaken during night terrors and it is recommended that they not be awakened.
They will then after some minutes of this behavior will lay back down and continue sleeping.
A child who is coming into your room and telling you she is having night terrors is lying.
She might be having nightmares, though I doubt every night.
She might not like sleeping alone, I am sure.
She might be spoiled and manipulative which what I am leaning towards.
And since it is clear to me and so must be very clear to your daughter that you and her father are not on the same page about this, she is trying to divide and conquer which she seems to be doing very successfully.
But according to all the indications of night terrors, this child is not having night terrors.
This child likes to sleep with mom.
And, for no valid reason, mom is willing to sacrifice her husband’s sleep and possibly her relationship because of her total disregard for her husband’s well-being.
12 Likes
She won’t do this forever. A little kindness and patience now will forge a stronger relationship for the future.
3 Likes
Are you sure you aren’t being manipulated?
5 Likes
I don’t blame him. Every now and then is cool, but every night is a bit much.
8 Likes
My son went through a period of night terrors. He didn’t remember them in the morning, thank goodness!!! They were horrific. He would jump up and start running- slamming into anything/everything as though it wasn’t there. Nothing phased him, the entire time screaming his lungs out. If I even tried to touch him (protect him from injury) he would attack me as though I was something from the nightmare itself.
I’m so grateful he never got hurt and has grown out of it. The doctors provided me with helpful reading material too.
4 Likes
Ask him what his problem is and if y’all can’t work it out then You go sleep in your daughters room
4 Likes
Have your husband sleep in her room or the couch
5 Likes
Redirect your daughter to her room and stay with her until she falls asleep then leave
13 Likes
She is old enough to stay in her own room. I would take her to her room as soon as she showed up.
6 Likes
Honestly whether it is nightmares or night terrors. Kids used that excuses. My last child used to sleep with us til age 5 we finally said time to sleep in his own bed we worked thru it for a year we made it. We made a deal on every Sunday night my husband used to work overnight I let my last child sleep with me only on Sunday nights if he sleep in his own bed every nights. He did and it works. So anyway, your husband need to chill and help you to work thru with the child and make a deal. If she has been in your bed from being baby til whatever you put her to her own bed then he need to learn she was raised in parents bed so he need to talk calmly with her and discuss with you calmly about her sleeping in her bed in her room. If she want to snuggle with you you go to her bed and lay with her for 10 minutes that it tell her 10 minutes she need to sleep quick or has to do it on her own. It helped my son he is 9 right now. Message me privately if you like gladly will help you with more ideas
1 Like
Try strip lights, or if you have a dimmer on your light switch turn the light down low so it won’t be so dark. Maybe some music down low. If fear of monsters get a misting water bottle Walmart has a great one it’s a mister not a spray. Shoot it in the air at bed time. Tell her it will keep all bad things away keep it on her nightstand or dresser incase she needs it when she wakes up it will be there for her to use. If all else fails and she still comes in at night get a crib mattress and keep it under your bed. When she comes in pull it out and have her sleep on that instead of your bed. Wont keep her out of your room but will keep her out of your bed but at least everyone can 
sleep.
So my kids would wake me up and I would go back to the room and lay with them to avoid kids in the bed. We went to twin beds for them so that there would be room for me when needed.
3 Likes
I’d personally get her a bigger bed and go sleep with her. She’s not wrong for needing comfort at night, but it is hard on some people having their sleep disturbed. I’d find a compromise.
How about telling him to stfu and getting her some counseling for the night terrors.
My 3 year old does is. Some nights I’m just not getting up and let him. But most of the time I take him back up to his room with a drink and his blanket and give him his pillow pet light, or he goes on the couch in the livingroom with a movie.
My husband works full time and Im a sahm, If something like this happens I go to her. You should get up and go comfort her. Dont wake him up over it happening repeatedly. Now once in awhile sure I see no issue. But if its every night, put q stop to that. I have a 9 yr old and 3.5 yr old and they end up with us sometimes like once or twice a month each. Its all communication here. 
1 Like
Tell him to grow the hell up
1 Like
Keep in mind any good dad is aware of age appropriate boundaries with kids of the opposite sex. 9 is still young, but there are some 10 yr old with periods already and people may look at him sideways for sharing a bed with someone that age, even if you’re in it too.
When she comes, just go back and snuggle with her in her home.
My daughter had same night terrors every night since 4 months old.We found out from a friend who’s a nurse that red dye causes night terrors/nightmares cut out all red dye and if possible any and all dyes.It isn’t good for babies or kids
Bed sharing co sleeping these terms didn’t used to exist and shouldn’t now. Boundries and self reliance , how to be strong and capable functioning adults is what parents are supposed to be teaching their kids . You’re gonna through them into the world without so much as swim floaties.
1 Like
He’d be buying himself his own bed if he were my husband. Your child comes first. As someone who’s best friend but only had night terrors but their parents downplayed it and by high school he was pretty much an insomniac because he hated sleeping. Maybe have her wake you up so you can go cuddle in her bed,
It’s just a phase. I think most 3 year olds do this. 2 of mine did. My oldest did it like clockwork every night at age 3. I started keeping a pillow and blanky in there for her. Tell him to shut up and sleep on the couch lol
She needs comfort yes, but this becomes a habit… she will need you to sleep with her every night. Find a way to help her past the fear so she feels comfortable in her own bed, in her own room, alone. She needs that.
Let that baby come in your bed. Or go back into her room till she falls asleep