I have been with my husband for 8 years, married 5. We are finally pregnant with our “ours” baby. I am almost 17 weeks. He hasn’t wanted to really be intimate lately and it’s been frustrating, especially after me telling him my sex drive has increased lately. So he finally tells me last night that it “creeps him out” me being pregnant and us having sex. Like, what?!? He says it’s weird knowing there is a baby in there. I said, so are we just not gonna have sex again for the rest of the 9 months?? He didn’t give me a straight answer. Has anyone else had this experience? Am I wrong for being a little pissed and thinking he is acting immature and ridiculous? What the heck am I gonna do?
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My husband is weirded out by sex because I'm pregnant
He isn’t acting immature, he’s communicating his boundaries and the reason for them. Sure, it’s a silly reason (to some) but his feelings and thoughts are still valid. If he’s uncomfortable, he’s uncomfortable. Get a vibrator and go to town girl lol
I mean whatever reason we could give for not wanting to have sex would be expected to be valid without question so why when he is communicating to you his feelings and reasoning are you pissed off and feeling he’s immature?
A lot of men feel this way and even if you do not understand it doesn’t make it invalid.
There’s plenty of ways for you to take care of your own needs.
The amount of people saying this woman is wrong is just sad. It IS immature, whether you like it or not.
So he’s man enough to put a baby in there but once she’s pregnant he’s like “ew tf don’t touch me”
What a ninny
Taking care of your wife when she’s pregnant is important, and this INCLUDES their sexual needs.
I’m sure there’s another man more than happy to take care of you, find him.
I’m glad mine adored my pregnant body, because pregnancy can be one of the most insecure periods of a woman’s life.
He thinks his weiner is gonna bop the baby on the head. Not shitting u
Honestly I understand where he’s coming from cuz I was weirded out by it lol. Idk. I understand it’s frustrating for you but you can’t really make him feel any different about it and I don’t think it’s something you should be mad at him for. It’s a normal feeling.
Some men just aren’t comfortable with sex during pregnancy. Yeah, it can be a silly reason, but it’s his boundary. If your hormones killed your sex drive, you wouldn’t want him mad at you, right?
No one needs a reason to not want sex. If they don’t want it, they don’t want it. You’ll just have to let it go and hope that he changes his mind.
Wait until you hit your next trimester you’ll be disgusted by him and not want sex anyways lol
He’s being Honest, it’s not an uncommon feeling for some men, respect his boundaries, would he guilt you into sex or call you names of you said no?. A relationship takes two, it’s not all about one.
His loss! Pregnant sex is the best sex! Everything is far more sensitive and everything is on a whole new level! If he would do it once, you won’t be able to get rid of him! Randy
Maybe try showing him a picture of a pregnant females anatomy? Some guys are more visual and maybe he doesn’t realize how far baby really is from where he’s putting it in? And if that doesn’t work at your next ob appointment have him go and just kind of casually bring up “is sex safe and okay”, and your ob will naturally just go into detail about it usually lol. Good luck mama, and if none of what I said works, get a toy and maybe the thought of you using a toy will be a turn on for him. Also, maybe try to wear a sexy outfit or something and just walk around in it or even just laying in bed with it on and maybe that will trigger it too!!!
Have you ever brought up using a toy to satisfy yourself when talking to him? Is he okay with it? I know some people can have different feelings about toys and such, so if you guys have never talked about it you may want to bring it up to him before getting one or using one. I would hate to cause more problems for you if he was completely against toy usage alone.
this is completely normal. he’s not being immature. if it was the other way around and his sec drive increased and yours decreased and he was hounding you and talking smack about you on facebook and calling you names, everyone would be in here telling you to leave him, but since it’s not the other way around, it’s fine i guess?
Yes my partner was like this when I was pregnant. Then I had an emergency caesarean and he didn’t want to touch me for 3 months after I’d given birth, only because he thought he was going to hurt me and he didn’t wanna do that. As frustrating as it was at the time, it is also kind of sweet.
My good friends husband was super weird about her being pregnant and like this, it was like she was a weird alien, he wouldn’t even touch her. When she was super duper pregnant and couldn’t shave anymore she asked me to do it because he refused lol I of course obliged. Some men get weird about it, its super normal. Her next pregnancy though he got over it and was all over her lol
Mine was the same at first then he was ok once dr explained things to him. But he got weird again once my belly got bigger. Dr then told him I needed to towards the end cuz it helps bring on labor. It was definitely very awkward.
As a husband it’s his job to make sure you feel wanted! He was totally down n out to make the baby. Shit…he should be giving you just as much while pregnant.
Maybe have him talk to your OB/Gyn? Once things are explained he might feel better about it. If not, then well, buy a toy if you don’t already have one. Get yours and he can blue ball his way through the rest of the pregnancy. lol
Give him some time, and respect his choice. You probably wouldn’t like it if the roles were reversed. Try to talk to him about it, and discuss it with the doctor, but don’t guilt trip him
Mine went the opposite way couldn’t keep his hands to him self the whole nine months
But at the beginning he was terrified (we went through a lot) he was to scared to touch me bless him. But I know your pisvvvd but this is something normal. Put the shoe on the other foot what is your pregnancy had sent you off sex completely and he was hammering you for sex daily he’d be the bad guy again. Yes us women are the bearers of the kids we do the work for 9 months of carrying and birthing etc but these guys still go through shit to OK not as much but mentally and emotionally they do it’s a huge thing for them to and in my opinion they get it rough by us women
If he is communicating he isn’t comfortable that’s fine!! Get some toys ask him to play with you, ask for foreplay!!
Communication is key. What is he comfortable doing? I don’t think it’s realistic or healthy for anyone to go 8+ months without any intimacy! Does he read the new daddy books? Get him one and start there. Good luck!!
Hes just uncomfortable. Same with me and my partner. I also felt wierd. Don’t take it the wrong way or be upset with him. Just respect how he feels. I know the frustration though. My sympathies
My partner did this . He thought he was hurting the baby. It took a talking to from the doctors end for him to stop thinking like that. But it’s not uncommon and should respect how he feels considering he was honest enough to say this yes you have every right to be upset but also acknowledge that getting upset over someone not wanting to have sex with you, is also a bit petty and shouldn’t make him feel guilty for it.
I can’t relate girl! I feel like I was the one who was more nervous with my man. He loved it. I think it turned him on a little
My husband did this with both pregnancies. He didn’t even care about how it effected me. Then after each birth, he couldn’t because he felt traumatized from watching me birth his kids. I had to be all supportive and understanding and he never even tried to understand my. Sorry, these men are assholes. I’m in the middle of divorcing him now.
You’re not wrong. Men like this ARE immature.
Yep…i also thinks that way even though it won’t hurt the baby. But I thinks is the thought that counts. It’s not that it’s weird its just kinda odd thinking he’s putting his dingsong while his baby is in there. Uncomfortable. When i had my baby. I jokingly ask my new born have you met the guy who has been bothering your nest:joy:. Handing her to her dad.. We both started cracking up. So it’s gonna be okay something to joke about on later.
Mine was like that and it really hurt my feelings and self esteem. Now when people talk about having sex with their spouse pregnant I get jealous and feel like I missed out.
I had this with mine, we didn’t have sex the whole pregnancy. It’s perfectly fine and normal for him to feel this way, and it’s no reflection of how he feels about you. Once baby arrives you’ll go back to having sex
This is extremely common. Your husband isn’t being “immature and ridiculous”; he’s communicating his sexual boundaries and you should respect those, the same way that I’d expect him to respect any sexual boundaries you have.
Well, it’ll be longer than 9 months cause you’ll need to recover. So maybe remind him of that too. Lmao.
my hubby couldn’t take his hands off me when i was pregnant he loved it lol, but he may just be creeped out bc of the baby. not in a bad way but he may just be worried about if it’s possible to hurt the baby
Nah I would be annoyed AF. Tell him to grow up there is no way his willy is big enough for the baby to know something is poking in there nor will he feel the baby unless it is through the tummy. But honestly at least when we get off it sort of lulls the baby and they go to sleep ive read.
My husband was weirded out with our first also. He didn’t want to hurt the baby no matter how many times the doctor told him he wouldn’t. Alot of men go threw this…
You’re not alone. My fiance was like this when I was pregnant with my son… he thought is was weird . Men over think it. It was incredibly frustrating
At least you want sex while pregnant Hahah. My husband would beg me for sex and I denied him because of the amount of pain I was in being pregnant! Lol like nope…
But I understand where you’re coming from because that’s fed weird of him to think… Like it won’t hurt nor harm the baby lol. Wtf!
With my first, yes. My husband was like, “I just can’t do it.” It made me feel ugly because it’s a big change for your body… with our second he didn’t care and we had sex up until my doctor told me around 4 or 5 months not to due to a blood clot in my placenta but healthy baby and now we just don’t have sex because I’m tired lmao
He is totally not the only one. My husband was like that for both pregnancies. He knew he couldn’t hurt the baby but it was weird for him. Luckily for both pregnancies I did not have a sex drive at all I was more of don’t touch me.
That’s exactly how my fiance acted during our first pregnancy he was afraid he was going to hurt the baby even though the doctor told him it was absolutely safe. This time around he he isn’t afraid.
He’s scared incase he gives the baby a black eye seriously, it’s not weird at all, some men are scared of hurting baby and/or partner
This is where male and females differ,we are extremely sexual whilst pregnant and they see a fragile woman not sure what the answer is but talking about how u feel can only help
My husband was a little weird but it didn’t stop him😂 he just said it was a little awkward but he was still down
I get it, it’s weird, more so when you’ve got that big preggo belly happening. So my partner & I did it in different positions so we didn’t focus on my tummy
Tell him how it’ll affect your relationship long term. 1)It’ll be more awkward the bigger you get. 2)The healing process is about 4-6 weeks after birth. 3)Then there’s having the baby sleep in the same room 6 mo-1 yr, to reduce risk of sids [also awkward]. 4)Between waking up for feedings, sleeplessness, baby crying, etc there’s not a lot of time/desire for sex the first few months. 5)If your guy doesn’t want you during the entirety of it, you’ll probably not want another baby (it’ll go from him saying “don’t touch me” to you saying “don’t touch me”).
For some couples (I’m not saying it will for you) the man will go outside the relationship because he self-destructed it. Js, it isn’t good for men to put a baby inside you & then not want you any more. It may be a normal feeling for some men, but it’s an unfounded one.
The baby will feel nothing but a rocking motion. Tell him it never touches the baby. It won’t hurt the baby. He won’t feel the baby. There’s certain positions that he won’t feel the belly/baby kicks. Ask him to try it, because he’ll see there’s nothing to worry about & it’ll bring you closer. You have the baby inside you, but he doesn’t want to compromise on sex to fulfill your needs because he knows that the baby is in there? That’s something he has to work through for the sake of everything you’ve built together.
Just remember, some men think weird and untrue things about our periods. That’s the same place where his awkward feelings are coming from.
I suggest taking him with you to see your OB or Gynecologist and have them explain to your husband that its very much ok to have sex during pregnancy
My husband couldn’t stay off of me when I was pregnant with our daughter
It’s now wonder how we got there to begin with.
Wow. I’m so sorry that’s your experience. My husband was obsessed with my pregnant self . It’s the best feeling in the world
Sometimes people worry about sex when the woman is pregnant, be it the man or woman, thinking about a baby in there can put them off sex!
Maybe take him with you to a drs appointment and get him to adk the dr questions that hebis concerned about. Some men just think that they might hurt the baby or hurt you.
It really can feel creepy. Be glad he was honest, talk about it, and don’t discount his feelings or he may not be open and honest next time.
Some women also don’t want to be touched when they are pregnant it’s not weird or immature nor ridiculous! It happens… men can be sensitive about the sex throughout the 9 months just like women. I guess you gonna have to use your hand or find a vibrator
Take that boy to the doctor and have a professional explain it’s ok. If that don’t work, I’m sorry but you’re raising two children.
Why you mad he communicated how he feels
Mine was like this.its a mental thing.
That is not a true man. I’m sorry but it’s true.
Feels. I got like this. yes hormones were crazy but it always got me and turned me off.
My partner felt exactly the same. But we overcame it.
I told my husband he was going to poke the baby in the head and that was it.
Tell him he’s in the basement. Babys in the attack. no where near the baby
A lot of men say this😂 especially if it’s his first child
My daughter’s dad was like that
My partner was the same.
It’s normal and it will pass. Don’t take it personal
What’s a ours baby
You’re gonna respect his feelings and his boundaries.
Get yourself a vibrator and stop whining!
I’ve heard of this happening a lot
I’m sorry but if the thing was flipped and you were expressing discomfort with something sexual everyone on here would be saying he needs to be understanding and that your feelings are valid no matter what. And so are his, guys can say no to sex too and it doesn’t mean they don’t love us or anything. He was upfront with you and I think you should respect it. If you’re that horny, there are other things you yourself could do or ask him for other methods of stimulation
Not abnormal. You will survive. At least he’s being honest with you.
Didn’t bother me one bit when my wife was pregnant
Just rub one out on your own. Lol it’s not like his pee pee is playing peekaboo with the baby. Though if he isn’t comfortable there is other things you two could be doing orally. Just saying. His feeling are valid. But 9 months is a long time to go without a orgasm…
But when I was pregnant with my second I couldn’t put up with him breathing
Maybe also tell him to read up on it so he knows that it is completely fine to be having sex while pregnant
He has a right to his feelings and you get to work out our need by yourself for now.
Men are like that…however I have 6 kids .we’ve had sex upto 3 weeks from due date. Hope yhing work out
Tell him his Weiner will give the baby dimples
A lot of men get like this unfortunately. Some think that they are gonna hurt the baby and some just grossed out by the fact a baby is where they putting their thing at lol even though the baby is far away and in a Little bag of water well safe and sound. Hopefully he changes his mind
That’s unfair to you
Sir, how Tf you think it got there.
My hubby’s like this and I think it’s hilarious honestly. He was like that for our son two years ago but he stopped having sex with me when I was around 4 months I think and for our daughter that’s due soon he stopped like 2 maybe 3 months ago. So he lasted a little longer this time, his answer was he’s afraid to poke the baby and he just can’t do it anymore. Even though I explained many many times that’s impossible he just can’t get past that thought lol
Every man is different. My man loved having sex with me pregnant, Idk why but he still mentions loving it & it was 3 years ago.
No offense but how you are handling the situation is immature to me. Couples are to be there for one another. And if one is uncomfortable, then we need to be understanding and supportive. Even if we think it to be “silly.” Maybe he will come around. Those pheromones we put off when pregnant may get to him as your pregnancy continues. Otherwise why not just watch one another masturbate.
You’ll survive without having sex… by you saying “ what the heck am I gonna do” is a little ridiculous
Its funny when men do this
Yes my fiance did this with both pregnancies, atleast he communicated with you don’t pressure the point of sex, but let him take his time to come around he will eventually
Tell him how small the baby is and it can’t see what’s happening. Lol
Have you guys had problems tryin to have a baby??
U must b having a girl x
Very common for men.
It’s not uncommon but tell him the baby isn’t in your vagina lol plus there’s other ways for you to have sex without penetration. Ask him what that mouf do
No still means no right?
It’s super normal for men to be afraid to have sex with their pregnant bc they’re afraid to hurt the baby or bc they think the baby can feel what’s going on during the deed. If you can’t reason with him, the next time you have an obgyn appt for the baby, have him come with so the Dr can reassure him that things are fine, there is a barrier between him and baby and it’s not gonna be none the wider to what’s going on
For all the people saying you don’t need a reason. Did you miss the part where he gave a reason and she says she doesn’t like the reason
You don’t have to penetrate to have sex.
From a man’s perspective: As I just recently went through this same thing with my love, I can relate to her husband and hopefully explain a little. First, he’s worried about you. It is a little uneasy to think that he could hurt you or the baby by just ramming it in there. It’s ok dad, any nurse will tell you just be a little more gentle but keep to the same rhythms. It helps your lady break down the wall that is the Uterus, so she can have an easier time giving birth. Of course be keen to what she needs during this time. Things change my man, so LET’S GET IT ONNNNNN! Hope this helps…
My husband didnt want too because he was scared he was gonna hurt the baby. It’s not immature of him for having these feelings. I think its completely normal
The man communicated with you, he lets you know how he felt and your calling him immature, it seems your overreacting 100%…this is totally normal for men to have this weirdness or worry about sex while spouse is pregnant. If roles reversed and your pregnancy dropped your sex drive you would tell him and expect him to respect that right? You have to do the same, just communicate on what y’all can do to satisfy your needs in mean time…maybe toys?
Flip the roles and look at it that way then. He communicated with you, told you the issue. I had sex my entire pregnancy with both kids and when I didn’t want to, my husband respected that.
I love how a guy communicates his feelings and it a different story but if it where you he would be an arse for not respecting your feelings! You have a human growing inside of you, if it weirds him out having sex while pregnant that is completely ok! He won’t be the first human to think that! Wait till you have sex and the baby kicks or rolls and he feels it at the same time, you’ll see limp in a matter of seconds!
While I was pregnant when we found out our son was breeched and already against my cervix he asked “if he goes to deep if he is touching our son?” and that thought freaked him out lol. Your guys opinion does matter and it isn’t being immature. I would be happy he actually wanted to talk to you about it