Feel ur pain so much here if u ever want to talk
Call his mother and ask why she didn’t raise a better man. Then ask why you had 2 kids with someone who doesn’t know what goes into being a stay at home parent. You’re there to parent, you’re not a maid. If he wants a clean house and 2 small children, he can hire one.
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If he’s bothered by it he can clean it
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My bf learned to not bitch about the house. We have 12 year old and 4.5 year old. He can’t handle toddler by himself for more than a couple hours so I will joke when he starts bitching saying “fine I will go to work for 13-4 hours a day like you do and you can have chace” he goes “nope no thank you” then I go well stop your bitching. We both live here and I DESPISE being a SAHM.
Leave the kids with him for a day and you go out…let him see how hard it is …
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You have a baby and he dares to complain … that is not right . You should be proud to be doing this all on your own. Ignore him in his weak moments and do remind him that if it’s such an issue he is more than welcome to pitch in. That’s what I told my husband whenever he dared to complain . You are a super woman be proud and ignore any negativity .
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Then he might realise how hard it is looking after two young children two dogs and a house…
Tell him to watch the kids then so you can clean up. Or leave him with the kids for a couple of hours and come home and complain about the mess.
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I’d give him a bill for everything you do. I did that with my husband and he hasn’t said a word since.
Housekeeping
Childcare
Cooking
Accounting
Personal assistant
Life coach
Home designer
Yard work
Poop pickup service
Laundry
Etc. let him know you’d be happy to go out and find a job and he can either foot the bill to pay someone else to do everything you’re doing, and he can put a sock in it because in reality, you’re saving him tons of money and that’s your way of paying into the household.
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He need to realize what you do at home. Yes, you are a stay at home mom but if you would have a full time job and putting the 2 kids in a daycare it will easily be about 800 to 1000 every 2 weeks. Your husband needs to learn to appreciate your value as a wife and partner. Just because you aren’t getting paid for being a stay home mom doesn’t mean that he can demand things. You are helping him so much and he doesn’t realize it.
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Tell him to clean it up then… simple as that.
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My hubby didn’t get it until I went back to work full time. Now he will never talk down to a house wife. Sometimes they don’t get it until they have to do it.
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My advice is to have him do what you do daily for 2 full days. Tell him you need a break and go somewhere. I promise you after those 2 days he will never be upset again. I have friends who have done this and it saved them!
I would tell him that if he doesn’t like it he needs to help out more. He doesn’t work 24/7 so you shouldn’t be the only one to work all the time at home. It’s his house also and he can help out.
I have said this before–it is horrible how society (both men and women) seem to think that women can just bounce back after childbirth! it takes a minimum of one whole year to totally heal from a normal birth, more for complications. You are still healing and nursing a 3 month old–that all by itself is a full time job. Women need to start being very careful of who they have children with–way too many whiny, lazy ass men out there who do not appreciate the work that goes into raising children. and you have two dogs? Unless you are really attached to the dogs maybe try to find homes for them–needing to vacuum every single day is way too much work. Or he needs to take over the vacuuming so you can concentrate on the kitchen. I know dog lovers will probably be pissed at that suggestion --and I would say that only if you can find good homes(not just dropped off somewhere)
Wait you have 2 small kids? What does he expect?
I swear I’ll never understand why people stay in relationships that clearly don’t work. Stop staying where you’re unhappy and unheard.
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Tell him ur gonna get a job and put kids in daycare bc u too are over the messy house. Maybe if u go to work too it will magically be clean when u come home. Since thats the mentality he has🤔
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I think there are bigger issues here than the cleaning. He is disrespecting and under valuing you and all you do for your family, speaking to you like you are a child but behaving like one himself and it is a problem if you speak to your family about your issues? Red flags are buzzing here. You deserve better and so do your children. Sending love 
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Cleanup and toss out the entire man
This is a common issue in relationships. They won’t get it until they have to do it.
If he has a problem with it, he can clean it! You clean up after him so if he has an issue with your mess, he can clean it. Or leave on a day he can watch your kids, leave all day long from morning to after bedtime (or the time when he normally comes home) and see if he can get any cleaning done. 
it’s giving yourself a break at the same time
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Let him stay with the kids for a few hours alone…my fiance understood to a point before i left him with the kids 6 hours and now he definetly understands. He told me idk how u do it.
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Wait till he is home and promptly clean the kitchen. While doing so throw the entire man out with the trash. Problem solved.
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When he goes to work next, I highly recommend a movie day on the couch & don’t do anything you would normally do! Let the toddler go wild & then he can see everything you didn’t do when he gets home!
Wait…you have a 2 year old, AND a 3 month old? You are a stay at home mom and your husband is criticizing your housekeeping? Sounds like he needs to spend a Saturday at home with the kids while you are at your spa day appointment. Then Saturday night becomes date night. Get a sitter, and make arrangements for your evening out. Daye night, every week; spa day, once a month. Problem solved. Your welcome. Also, I think you are amazing, for all that you have accomplished without a break. You deserve so much more.
I’m sorry your going through this, there is really no right way to answer how to treat this situation because you cant change his mind or you wouldnt be having this problem. Taking care of children all day is hard, I’ve worked full time jobs and my mom watched my kids, now I’m a stay at home mom because my boyfriend now works n pays my Bill’s. So I now realize it’s so much easier to work a job then to stay at home with kids and keep a clean house. Some days I just want to go back to work. My boyfriend doesnt ever get mad about the house tho. He just pays someone about every two weeks to clean it really well and then I just keep up with it after that. So I think you just need to relax who cares about the messes, if he doesnt like it then he can pitch in. I would definitely not do a single thing for a couple days and show him what you really do.
My ex did this. I left while he was at work and he didn’t notice til 2 days later. If that ain’t a sure sign I made the right decision I’m not sure what is
Next time there’s an argument YOU leave! Show him what you do. Show him how hard your job is as well!
When I had my first son, I was told… ‘I don’t have to do ____ I pay the bills’. It didn’t last long and he started helping out. I wouldn’t say he’s perfect because he still doesn’t know which drawer the kids clothes are in. He does keep the boys busy so I can shower alone, so I call that good enough. 
Most of these comments are shit advice that’ll just make things worse. He doesn’t see what you do, because he’s not there. Arguing isn’t going to do you any favors because he still won’t be there to see it. Leaving over something this petty is stupid, every relationship has this same problem at least once. The only thing that even halfway made sense would be to not do anything the next time he goes to work and show him what all you do clean all day, while also taking care of the kids. Breastfeeding every 3-4 hours is freaking exhausting. That alone is enough to make a person not want to do a damn thing. Here’s the reality of the entire situation, it doesn’t matter what you say or do, until he has to be the one who stays home and takes care of the kids and the house, he’s never going to get it. But on the plus side, you don’t have to listen to his nonsense blame game either, just walk away and ignore it. Don’t argue! It’s not even worth it and that’s advice I wish someone had given me long ago.
Time for a real serious talk about how stressing being a mom is!! How its almost impossible to get things done with a child on the breast who completely sucks all The energy from your body and a todder who needs constant attention.
Also be very clear that speaking to you like a child Is unacceptable because your are his partner and an adult not a child.
I think a bit of couples councling would be beneficial.
I totally understand 100%
Only take care of your kids and he will see what u have been doing all day. Let him push a vacuum if he isn’t happy about how ur home looks
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I’m in the same boat we have a 6,4,3,2 year old and I’m pregnant with our last child and now we got a puppy and a cat. But I told him I need help and he is making it out to be like his job is harder than mine. I told him I’m a nurse. Caregiver. Maid. Cook. And a vet and I do it all for free so he could help me out some. With the dishes and trash at most. But he doesn’t see how I’m overwhelmed…
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That last part … Give yourself some grace being a stay at home mom of two very little kids 24/7 is two jobs in itself! Our jobs are never done. He is needs to try and be more understanding!
U not the only one that lives in the house tell him two can clean better then one I’m not saying u don’t do a good job but there’s no reason why he can’t help !
He clearly doesn’t spend enough time with your kids if he’s wondering why u don’t do more. He doesn’t understand how busy kids that age keep you. My 2 are only 16 months apart and I know its hard to get things done! I try, but at the same time, your kids are going to have memories of how much u played with them or did activities with them while they were young, they’re not going to remember little messes and clutter in your home.
I would be 100% honest with him and let him know this really hurts you, because you are genuinely doing your best. SAHMing is HARD. He needs to be more understanding. And when he’s not willing to change, because men never get it…Then ask him to take the kids for the weekend while you do something else…and point out everything that’s not done when you get home. That’s what I would do. But I’m petty like that men just don’t get it until they have to do it.
Tell HIM to clean then!
If he doesn’t like it he can clean it himself 
I have 4 kids and a dog and currently stay home with virtual schooling. Our house is lived in. We sweep, vacuum and wipe down counters but the sink is never empty because someone is always eating plus I’m cooking 3 meals a day. You are doing your best, if it bothers him so much he is welcome to help.
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leave a blindfold at the door for him
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WTF hes not used as a milk machine every 3 hours. He gets a knock off time from work. When fo you get to kkock off?
Who cares if hes out making the money. That doesnt mean he gets to rest on weekends and judge how you run the home. Hes still a parent 24/7 sake as you. He still lives there and uses dishes and has dirty laundry and messes the floors and bathroom. Tell him to do it! If he has time to notice and complain and fight about the mess he has tome to clean it. What a tosser.
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You said it best yourself!!! Grace!!! This is a season of grace. The first few years are extremely hard with small children! My house is no where near what it once was and I miss it tremendously
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You’re doing good momma. My husband and I had a similar discussion recently.
You are doing a great job mama I highly recommend the book, girl wash your face.
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Tell him if he doesn’t like it , do something about it. Your not able to keep up…ur likely up at night for feedings and diaper changes too.
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It is pretty much impossible having little ones and a clean house at the same time. Some men just don’t understand. My husband likes to complain about the house being messy but he has days off but as a mom I don’t. Sounds like he needs to understand you are doing your best and if he doesn’t like it he can help out
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Make him watch the kiddos for a whole Saturday or Sunday so you can get some me time and so he can see what it is like. Two year olds are SO messy😬
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If he doesn’t understand now you need to find peace within yourself and tune it out. It’s hard but you must do this and understand for your relationship he just isn’t capable of comprehending this at this time. Hopefully later he will. When my husband complained, I cleaned the house but didn’t pick up after him, I didn’t do his laundry, I didn’t take out the trash but kiddo was good, bills were paid and dinner was done 
he looked around and noticed all of his stuff 
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Change the locks 
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Idk who wrote this thread but feel free to PM me.
if its that bad pay some 1 to come in for an hr or 2 amazing what they can do in that time
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I am worried about you. My ex husband (38 years married) started out like this whilst I had a new baby and a 20 month toddler, I was 19 years old , he did nothing in the house and would come home for his lunch and if the house wasnt ready for inspection he would get angry. His anger turned to violence and intimidation. Dont let my story be yours.
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Hun i feel you, my hubby works fulltime & i’m a SAHM with two daughters, eldest is usually at school during the day but our 14 month old is a handfull! Trying to run a house AND spend time watching them & keeping things 100% in order is impossible, i spend almost all day tryna tidy & clean, then little one just makes a mess again… its constant but know what, my house is a Lived in HOME - NOT a magazine picture house / show house… if anyone expects to see that… then i’d suggest they go about estate agents cos they sure as heck aint findin it here! Theres ALWAYS gonna be mess, bit of clutter, but i try my best to make sure its Clean… its chaos but its Organised Chaos! An if hubby thinks about complaining… i’d tell him to Gladly Swap places with me for a week… see how he copes. He’s a fantastic Husband, Father & Provider, but he also helps out because i remind him that responsibility doesnt end at him finishing his shifts! Parenting is 24/7 us mums are on the go from the minute our little Cherubs open their eyes… til the minute they shut them at night! THEN theres extra house jobs when their asleep, some men don’t get how hard going it is! Xx
Cleaning schedules help out so much. What days and times can he clean? What days and times can you clean? Being a stay at home mom is a full time unpaid job that he should be thankful for that he has that opportunity to have free childcare and person to care for him. Not every man has that, the least he can do is help you maintain the home as it is his responsibility too, as well as taking care of that kid. This is not the 1950s.
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He sounds emotionally abusive… no one deserves to be talked down to by their partner…not to mention that you can’t go to your family… you should not have to fear repercussions when you look for their support!
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Im not here to give u Advice on ur relationship, thats not what u asked for but if its unhealthy u need a better plan… like i said thats on u though… as far as clutter or mess… Everything has a home. If it doesn’t, find one and if u can’t find one its trash. Thats my motto. Every now n then I do a declutter, maybe take a day to do that. Add some shelves too, they help a ton. Google “dollar tree organizing” … helpful tips there too.
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It won’t improve, only your reaction to it. I started to tell my husband to grow the eff up. Constantly. If you are in a bad mood too bad, so am I. Then don’t engage. When he started complaining just tell yourself “don’t engage, don’t engage”. He is getting something back from you having to defend yourself. He may be very insecure and you are the nearest target to belittle to make himself feel superior. It almost ended my marriage. Don’t apologize or try to explain. Say “I’m sorry you feel that way. People’s homes you admire have husbands who help out. Then they have refreshed wives. You can’t seem to understand it’s win/win can you?” Talk down to him like he does to you, but only a little bit. Don’t get sucked in. I went for a while were I was miserable right back to him ( not in front of the kids tho). It didn’t really have conversations with him. I hope it doesn’t seem mean but it worked for me. It’s become a habit for him to dump on you. Let it roll off. The less attention the better.
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Tell him that you share all duties when he gets in from work. You have both worked all day! See how he copes with that! This is coming from a full time working and single mum 
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Tell him you would like to go out and work and support the family and he can stay home with the kids and take care of the household chores. Taking care of a home and kids is a 24/7 job and should be appreciated and respected. You should be equals in a marriage and not talked to like you are an idiot. Good luck you need to stand up now or it will never change and if you do stand up and it doesn’t pack his bags and leave them at the front door
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Honestly you are a sahm and yes should be doing the daily chores. If you are and he still isn’t satisfied with the job you’re doing then he should do it the way he’d like himself. I’d sit him down and ask him “what would you like to see me do differently”. If it’s feasible then do it to save everyone the grief. If he’s nitpicking then making a conversation will bring out what he’s truly upset about. If it’s really clutter than that’s unacceptable
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I still had to clean when I worked. These men are tripping lol. Are his arms and legs broken?
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Make him take care of the kids for a day. He doesn’t know how things work as he’s never been in your shoes. It’s not fair. And I totally understand you. You’re doing great.
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Ask him to get u a helper to clean because as much as he wrks he also needs to help u. Your priority is to care fr your babies, and cook. He needs to suck it up and grow up. Some men are raised to be nothing but men. They are taught only woman do cleaning.
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I was there. He was telling me “all parents have to do what you do” - and that was not true at all. So I waited a bit until kids weren’t so little, put them to daycare and went to work. And I said from now on it’s 50-50. It’s been 3 years and he still can’t get it done, not even half of what I was doing. And I’m still doing + working. So when we fight about it I say “but all parents have to do this and so do you”. 
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Have a sit down and talk and if he doesnt think there is anything wrong with his behavior…take a couple days off just take care of the children let the house go…show him how much you do or just tell him to clean it himself and walk away! And if that doesnt work .throw the whole man away!
I was in your shoes except I worked as well it just got to the point where I was if I’m going to do all of by myself I’m going to be by myself and wait for the right person to come alone who will appreciate everything and I found him! We all work we all clean we all pull our weight.
You and a stay at home mom do just as much if not more so basically to hell with that…
Good luck Mama!!
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Let him watch the kids for a day and tell him to make sure it’s spotless when you get home!!
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Sometimes clutter can seem dirty. Having a space issue can lead to clutter even if its important things even if the house is clean…it can easily look like its dirty. I dont know your full situation or what your home looks like day to day and heck we all have days the house is just a wreck lol… or well jeeze i do . But maybe look around and see id their are some ways you can organize that maybe it is a clutter problem and that might help make the house feel more clean! Hope that helps
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Wow- no way! I’m sorry you are “working” and he should walk a day in your shoes and see just how easy it is because it’s not! It’s a job that doesn’t pay because no one could afford to pay mother’s. He needs a reality check and to realize that it is not just your responsibility to handle the house and kids that is way too much for one person. It has to be teamwork. I’m so sorry that is unbelievably hard and he should not be talking down to you either.
Ok…first of all if he doesnt like it, he can always pitch in and help. He fails to realize he goes to work and clocks in, clocks out 8 hours later, and the rest of his day is HIS. Us stay at home mamas dont have that. 24 hours a day belongs to everyone else. If he cant help out at all, then piss on his opinion. Second…I KNOW how hard it is to find time to clean up. I have 4 kids…ages 18,7, 2, and 7 weeks, also nursing. I cant stand clutter, it drives me insane. I’ve found what I cannot get done during the day, I can do much faster at night after kids are in bed. They go to bed…then I fold the laundry, empty the dishwasher, fill the dishwasher, pick up all the toys, etc… do I get ANY time to myself to relax? No. None. But my house is fairly picked up and clean, and that takes my stress levels down. Obviously this is just what works for me. Just do the best you can for YOU mama!
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Get some epicac and some housing insulation. Rub his boxers with the housing insulation, it will give him a hella rash and itchies. Then give him the epicac to help with his mouth disrespecting you. If he continues to be a disrespectful a$$, throw in a good laxative. When he shits himself, has a hella rash, and is puking…be sure to ask him if he wants the crust cut off his toast or does he want it cut like mickey mouse…
. If he treats you like a kid and disrespects you…treat him like a kid with the gifts of natural remedies our mothers taught us with…
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You are doing a great job. Maybe suggest he do it himself, a day in your shoes might change his perspective. Or, really don’t do anything for a couple days so he realizes all that you already do
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Nope I’ll stop doing everything so he can really see what’s being done and what’s not! Second I commend you on being a stay home wife! I personally couldn’t do it for This reason here they think that they can talk and treat you any ole kind of way! Right idea wrong person! Start filling out some applications and get out into the real world! Being home all day every day with kids makes you think a lot and it’s not always good! You’re woman and deserve to be treated as such! Women can be bread winners and a mother too!!
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If he’s not happy with the condition tell him to pick up a broom. I promise that it’s not going to hurt him. Just because he works outside the home doesn’t mean he can’t help out every now and then.
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1.) You know in your heart if you are doing the best that you can do. And if you honestly believe that you are…keep on, keeping on. If he can’t recognize that, than that is his own loss.
2.) Don’t let him emotionally or verbally abuse you because he isn’t happy. No matter how much you pander to it, or cater to his needs, if he is determined to be unhappy, then he will be.
3.) He is probably pretty stressed on his side. A fire, two kids, two large dogs, work alone, all of these can be pretty stressful. Perhaps there is a way to rearrange the schedule to give him an hour of peace. I can’t think without it. (Working Mom, here).
4.) Breast feeding can be very time intensive. Personally, I switched to pumping in an attempt to help save time.
Yes honey sounds like you are doing an amazing job. And amazingly patient as if it were me I might have blown my top by now! It doesn’t really sound like he appreciates your contribution as you do his? I’m all for natural consequences in situations like this, Is there any way you can sort of stop doing what is it you do and then maybe he will actually see how much you do do? Go on strike for a day or two, nicely point out to him how hard you work and you realise he too works hard but you’d like to be appreciated as you appreciate him.
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Give him a dust pan a broom and tell him to help you! Why doesn’t he be grateful your still there when he gets home? He keeps complaining… well…you just my need to show him what he may be missing if he doesn’t give you credit for sticking with it day in and day out! Sometimes the person staying home gets tired of the mundane day to day operations. When he shows a little more gratitude you might feel like cleaning the house a little better. But you are more than the house maid! You are you! Treat yourself kinder…you deserve it!
Sounds like you need a new husband! Just because he works doesn’t mean he shouldn’t help out with the house. Does he give you a break from the kids when he gets home? I mean that is your daily job and he gets a break form his job, you shouid too.
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Leave that mess. The second i saw that you couldn’t talk to your family because that’s causes another problem… huge red flag. He will never change. He might change a little then go right back to the horrible behavior. Go and live your life your way.
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In my opinion, having a toddler and a 3 month old is still quite soon to have all the household responsibilities piled exclusively on you. If you are normally fine with doing it all, I would point out that you aren’t yet ready to tackle the entire job alone yet, but that you are doing the best you can and plan on getting better. But if your husband is so demanding and won’t let you even discuss things with your family it sounds like he is being controlling and not being a partner. I would still discuss it with my family and not allow him to control so much. His job is likely 8 hours and yours is 24 hours. Not equal.
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I just read a book called “His Needs, her Needs: how to have an affair proof marriage” or something like that. Basically men and women have 5 very different basic emotional needs that do not line up at all. One of the basic needs of most men, according to this book, is their wife to care for the home and make it a comfortable nest. You may be working hard doing the things that you think are important to him, but actually he views something else as more important. It’s all about communication! If you can sit down and tell him that you want your home to be a place of comfort for him and ask him what things you could do to make that so. There has to be give and take, but start with giving and, if he is a man who truly values you and your marriage, he will respect your efforts and start giving in areas that you need!! I highly recommend the book as well!
But also, remember that you likely still have lots of postpartum stuff happening with your body. Do give yourself grace! But also don’t make any long term decisions based on temporary feelings.
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The way I see it, kids are a full time job in and of themselves. So I never accepted someone having to take on the ENTIRE home 24/7 by themselves just because the other person works outside the home. I have been a stay at home mom and now my husbands a stay at home dad for the time being while I work. We have always tried to help eachother out with kids and house work. Do I do the majority of the house hold chores even tho he’s home. Yes bc I’m particular. Never the less. Y’all are a team. Don’t settle for that.
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This isn’t the 50s and 60s anymore! It’s a partnership to run and keep the house going together. Stay at home moms are worth the equivalent of 2.5 jobs. He needs to get off his butt and open his eyes. Leave him home for a week with the kids and you go have time for yourself!
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Yes he works, but so do you. There is absolutely no reason why he can’t help out with the small stuff when he’s home. If all he wants to do is complain about it, then he can be the one to take care of it. The home belongs to both of you as do the children. If he thinks you have it so easy, then go out with your girls for an entire day and leave him home with the kids, the house, and the dogs and he can see for himself how hard it is to handle all of it alone.
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Make him do everything for a day my husband took a week off work one time I made him cook clean take care of the 5 kids cooking cleaning take the older 2 to school pick them up at the time the kids 2, 3, 5, 9 and 13. I stayed in the room around noon he was like I need to run to AutoZone to get something for tomorrow can you watch the kids for 10 minutes nope take them with u that’s what I have to do when I have run somewhere. At this point he was done for… He apologized like crazy I don’t know how u do it never again will I ever say anything about u being a stay at home the minute you get one kid what they then the next one needs something.
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Sounds like you have a narcissist husband to me. If that’s the case you can’t do anything that’ll make it better.
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Men who have never had to stay home with the children dont understand. I tried a new method for keeping my house looking clean is I get rid of clutter. Keep countertops bare, throw away knickknacks and only bring out the toys that your child plays with the most and rotate them. As for being able to talk to your family, you 100% should be able to communicate with those who love and support you. Ita not normal for that to be a “problem”
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The final red flag at the end about your own family should be the end before his abuse changes to a physical kind. Especially with how your voicing your opinion now, I’m sure that will cause a retaliation by the sounds of it. And I’d contact one family member and start a plan to leave or at least get some deep communication with and behin to root again somewhere else. Cousins and family or all kinds. Ive been the supportive niece and cousin before so im sure you have some! But this also means packing an emergency bag and getting it into the car before you even speak to him for the chance it could go sour fast.he seems toxic and I’d wouldn’t being staying because that’s an example to your kids that you don’t want. I mean if you approach him about this and he’s like, yeah. I’m sorry this has been a weird year and I’m stressed and shouldn’t be speaking like that and will stop that (and does) then I’d be trying to work it out, but just having children by a person doesn’t mean you owe him your soul.
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Remember that homemaker and stay at home mom are both full time jobs. Remind him that when he clocks out after 8 hours that you don’t get that privilege and are literally on the clock 24 hours a day 7 days a week. If he still has a problem hand him a mop and a baby and tell him to pick up a little overtime that you’re going on break
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I have 2 teens, a large dog, a husband. We all clean,
We all chip in, the house is never immaculate or spic and span, that’s just reality. We keep it a clean and organized as possible and still doesn’t look it. Don’t beat yourself up. He can help if he has a problem with the way the house looks.
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I have a hubby, a baby and a huge doggo. During the days my hubby works I do the cleaning, cooking but on his off days he pitches in. I usually clean at night since my son wrecks it during the day and Everytime I clean he just brings his toys right back out Lolo. Tell him if he’s so worried about it too help pitch in. You’re taking care of two little plus two huge dogs. He lives in that house to he needs to start helping out
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I found myself to be the one hard on me for being a stay at home mom. It’s a LOT harder than most men think. However (keep in mind mine are not 3 months old anymore but where when I started this) I make my bed every day, one load of laundry every day, if not laundry gets crazy. I also started waiting until about 45 minutes before my husband comes home and pick up everything I can. This avoids the running in circles all day just to exhaust yourself more and still not look clean. If it’s too much to keep it clean for 45 minutes go 30 but 45 allows you to stop and tend to the kids if need be but still give him the perception you have been cleaning all day
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My husband Told me once the tub wasn’t clean enough I told him I take showers if he wants a bath clean it himself…he never tried that bs again been married 34 years
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Hugs to you mama… Give yourself a break. You have a 2 yr old and 3 mos old to look after and your doing your best. They need you and as long as their fed loved and well taken care of the rest will fall into place. With children that young I’m sure its hard to find uninterrupted time to complete things. Just when you start something one of them needs you. These are moments you can’t get back and that bond will be more important to you and them than having a perfect house. Your baby is also only 3 mos your body physically and emotionally is still regrouping after giving birth. Don’t be so hard on yourself… 
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Tell him to hit the road…then he can see how good he has it. I hate men like that. A stay at home…is MORE than a usual job.
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Staying at home with 2 children 7 days a week is a full time job and takes its toll out on you. You need a break also. Let him do what he wants to do one day and you should take a day for yourself.
If he doesn’t like or appreciate it… Then start giving him a bill… Childcare, food bill, house keeper etc. So you can be paid then he can complain. Im a SHM for 13yrs now and 3 kids. Yes my hub has complained about this and that but now he appreciates what we could be paying ither to do
Unless it’s an absolute pig sty, there’s no reason for him to complain. I’ll admit, sometimes I come home from work and I’m like, “you didn’t even do the dishes or her bottles?” I never say it out loud, though. My days off consist of taking care of baby, dishes, laundry, bottles, cleaning up little messes here and there. But you can only do so much with a new baby. You can either nap, or clean while baby naps. Or catch up on a show you’re watching little messes can wait. I just focus on the big stuff and if my boyfriend ever complains, I just tell him he’s welcome to help.
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