I found out my husband stayed in contact with his ex-girlfriend of 8 years. I met him a few years ago, and after talking to him about how it made me feel that they still talked, he told me he would cut her off. Well, come to find out, they meet every few months to have lunch and “catch up.” Do I have a right to be upset? They have no kids and have no reason to keep in touch…
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You absolutely do because he lied about not being in contact with her
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You do because you had a previous conversation about it!
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Omg!!! Just went thru this…run!!!
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He lied and has been secretly meeting this person. You have every right to be upset.
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Of course. That’s not okay.
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Yes you do. You were clear how you felt. Even if you were being unreasonable it caused you doubt and fear. He told you it would stop. Therefore he chose their “friendship” over your relationship.
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Yes you do because he lied about it! But if you trust him, you shouldn’t worry about his ex. He should make you feel secure! Just my opinion! 
I HATE TO SAY IT… But he’s cheating. Sorry. He has no business with this woman. He clearly still has feelings for her.
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Why lie about it. Hmnnn
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If he kept it a secret, they’re doing more than just lunch 
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Ultimately when it comes down to it he chose her over you.
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Kick him to the curb now!!! He lied and was sneaking around with an ex.
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Yeah, I’m with you on this one. That’s uncomfortable, you already told him he said he’d quit but still does it. There’s an attachment there that I personally wouldn’t trust.
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I am in contact with all of my Xs…when I hear from them, I come home and tell my husband…its called trust and communication.
You absolutely do, he lied, and is meeting her. And you’ve shared your opinion on it.
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He’s a liar and a cheater.Dump him.
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Bail if they had kids ok then If they keep peace say I g hello o. The streets but meet g n lunch u deserve better
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I am still really good friends with a guy I dated years ago. We just realized that we were better off as friends. There has to be trust and that would include having certain ex’s as friends but with that being said… The guy lied so yeah there is probably more going on there than just pure friendship between them. Walk away because he has just proved what kind of person he is!
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File for a divorce asap its more than lunch
He still have feeling for her.an there a possibility there still sleeping together
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Run. It does not matter if he thinks it’s ok. You specifically stated that this was unacceptable if you were going to be together. Instead, he has just become deceitful. He does not honor your feelings… run…run fast.
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My question to you is, if the friendship is important to him, why make him choose. What insecurity have you personally not dealt with? And why is it automatically expected that people who fall out of love love or are no longer lovers have to terminate friend love. My two long term exes remain two of my greatest and most trusted friends. If anyone had to question their trust in me in relation to those friendships, that says more about them than it does me.
Well after seeing numbers like eight I can say we aren’t in hs anymore . He’s looking for options move on . It sucks …
Why don’t you trust him, and if you don’t why are you with him.??
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Don’t trust anyone who lies. He’s a loser!
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run as fast as you can. Obviously he isn’t going to respect you enough to cut off his ex for good, there’s still something there between them. Keeping contact with an ex behind a person’s back is never a good thing
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If they are truly just friends you are being cruel. Sometimes when people say they are just friends it is because they are.
I think at the beginning I would have said if they were going to friends they would have to include me.
Now that he has lied to you, I’m not sure what you should do. You have to follow your heart.
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Really! You need advise? What the hell is wrong with you?
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Not okay at all. Honesty and transparency is what makes marriage work.
I don’t think it’s only lunch I’m pretty sure they’re fucking… don’t be fooled
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Why would you want to deal with crap like this? Kick him to the curb.
Leave his ass let that bitch have him you deserve better!
If they are such great FRIENDS then he should have invited you to come with him.
There’s no reason they should be meeting up if kids aren’t involved.
I think it’s time to leave.
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Well the break up was amicable they probably remained friends. That could be all that it is. Perhaps you can attend lunch with them next time.
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Without even thinking about cheating or whatever. The most important thing here is he disrespected you. His lack of concern for your feelings speaks volumes. If he had an extremely good reason to be doing what he’s doing and it was important to him to catch up with her then he should have communicated that with you. If seeing her is more important to him then respecting you and being considerate of your feelings then if you value yourself and how amazing you are I think you already know it’s time to walk away. Take care of yourself.
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They have no kids why tf they got to talk about ??? Run !!! Let them have each other
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If the husband was open about the meeting and invited me I might be ok
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No need to trust a man that keeps in contact with an ex they share no kids with. Do your own thing
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They still have love for eachother. Plain and simple. It is what it is. If he can’t let go, maybe you should.
Yes you do I know u would be.
Total disrespect!!!
And you’re asking if you have the right to be upset?
You should be more than upset!!!
The question is what the hell are you gonna do about it?
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My ex used to call my house, when the girlfriend was not home, and also called every day on his way to work, it got to the point that he was showing up at my house unannounced, we got divorced cause of this person, and than all he wanted was badmouth her, so I block him from Facebook, than from my phone and luckily he got the hint, if i haven’t done it I am pretty sure he would still be talking to me, I had no intention on making this woman mad, didn’t care about him anymore, however your husband’s ex might be trying to make your life miserable and she is using him, if you want to leave him keep digging if not leave it alone, you already stated your case with him, he obviously doesn’t care.
Most likely there more going on if he not really being open about it not inviting you along and not taking your feelings into consideration. It always starts off with we just friends I know the feeling hope things get better for you.
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He lied to you for a reason. Because he still wants her. If it was innocent, then he would have told you about their meetups before
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He said hes stop and lied. They have no kids. Run far, run fast. Theres a cheater in ur midst.
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He shouldn’t have seen her behind your back . I don’t see a problem with exes being friends. Sometimes the friendship is still strong despite not being able to make arelationship work. I know many people who stay friends with their exes. I don’t think you can go into a relationship and tell that person to get rid of friends you don’t like.
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Not ok…sounds like cheating to me 
No kids? No reason to stay in contact with an ex 
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He is cheating. It is more than just lunch. Please trust your gut. Please.
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That’s the past and it’s where he should’ve left it
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Get rid of him…now
Being lied to is upsetting.
He has already disrespected you by lying to you. With no kids involved and years of separation why didn’t he invite you to go along with them if there’s nothing going on?? You have the right to be upset. And by experience I can just tell you do what you feel is best for you. He will continue to see her, he doesn’t care about you because he clearly didn’t take into consideration how you felt about the situation. You don’t need to continue being disrespected by him.
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You tell your boy friend straight out you dont appreciate this this is inappropriate behaviuor hes not over.her it’s right in front of you. Just the sole idea hes still seeing.her is totally wrong. Tell him no more this continues your.out plain in simple good luck
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You don’t have to tell him anything; YOU CONTROL YOUR FEET SO WALK AWAY!! ITS CLEARLY A RED FLAG
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Do you have a right to be upset sure but after 8 years of course there’s history but hunnie he married you. Imagine your best friend for 8 years just to be told you cannot see them ever anymore!?!? Cheating? Once every couple months 
I highly doubt it! Have a little faith in your marriage. She’s his past and you’re his present and future. It’s always nice to revisit your past catch up make sure everything is good. Don’t jump the gun and assume the worst. Jealousy and being controlling is a vicious cycle. You’re his wife not his mother! I have coffee with male friends if my “husband “ didn’t trust me why did he marry me ? And personally once the trust is gone so is the marriage. Discuss why he kept it from you but my guess is cause you told him you didn’t want him to and he maybe just maybe didn’t want to hurt you or make you feel insecure. But seriously don’t jump to conclusions unless you are full proof 
As someone who is friend with my exboyfriend that we broke up on good terms.
Every boyfriend I have had since then gets told straight up I’m friends with my ex. If we talk it’s on speaker in front of the boyfriend. No lying.
Now what your boyfriend is doing is lying. Now ask yourself why? I think you know the answer. Leave now.
There are ways to be friends with an ex and this isn’t one of them.
The fact that he lied to you is the real issue.
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I still talk to my ex. We ended things on a good note. We were together for 6 years then kept in touch for 2 after the fact before i met my husband.
We ask about each other’s families and told each other congrats when we had kids and stuff. We live in seperate states though. My husband knows and if also free to see the messages.
Him lying to you makes this concerning though.
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You know this turns my stomach completely. If the woman can read this, please leave, please look out for you. And don’t believe him no matter how much you love him. Something is going on
The fact that he is a liar is enough of a reason to be concerned…
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Your feelings are valid. He probably wont care if hes been seeing her behind your back. Peace out and run. Dont walk
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I was in a similar situation. When my now boyfriend (of 4yrs) and I got together he would always talk to his ex girlfriend and after we moved in together he introduced me to his ex gf on the phone. She seemed too friendly for me and although I talked to her for a few minutes, I told him that it’s all good and dandy that he would introduce us but I wasn’t tagging along in that friendship. A year later she sneakingly tried to get my boyfriend to hang out with her while she was drinking with other men and apparently she told her dad that she was with my boyfriend. So her dad being concerned decided to call my boyfriend (her dad and my boyfriend were coworkers at one time and remained friends) and ask him if he was with his daughter. (Supposedly her dad felt more comfortable if his daughter was out drinking with my boyfriend, although I had met her dad and her mother in the beginning and they seemed like normal concerned loving parents, my boyfriend made it clear that we were together then) And there was no chance of them two getting back together. Anyways…To respond to her dads questions my boyfriend was being elusive and only gave yes or no responses (as if I didn’t suspect what was goin on). I was livid after he ended the conversation that was disrespectful towards me and I told him I wasn’t tolerating his behavior. Needless to say he apologized and completely cut their friendship and communication. To this day I can’t stand the woman and he knows how I feel about her.
Point of the matter is. If your husband can’t cut all communications with her or include you in on their lunch date then there is something else going on and if he’s going to continuously lie then he’s already cheated. Your best bet would be to run and file for divorce and don’t turn back.
Yes and No, as others have mentioned. I never did anything to my ex-wife nor did she do anything wrong to me…But I still love her after 5 years.
I have suspicions about my now ex doing the same…
You have a right to be upset with him deceiving you. But you never should of made him give her up. It is possible for members of the opposite sex to be friends.
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Yeah I’d be gone. No thanks!
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There’s nothing wrong with having friends even though they might be your ex I’ve got a few of those. As long as he says hey she’s just a friend we like to catch up once in awhile and nothing else happens she’s just a friend if he didn’t love you he wouldn’t be with you
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Go join them lol I wouldn’t trust them
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I had this situation, but it was my exes brother’s girlfriend that he continued to be friends with. That wouldn’t have bothered me except how he always excluded me when they hung out and I found out by accident. He didn’t want me to know which made me suspicious. I was never able to trust him.
Plain disrespectful and selfish. If you express to someone how their behavior makes you feel and they keep disregarding you, they don’t love you, Periodt!! Walk away
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Ditch Him :::He is dishonest ::it is not gonna get better ::: when trust is lost :::what do ya have ::: Troubles for sure ::: Say bye bye and Move ON .
I wuld reply but I cannot state the truth on this site anymore! People are too sensitive lol
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So not only is he talking to his ex, but he lied about it… come on girl don’t be so naive
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I don’t make friendship with an ex. I find it unnecessary and weird. Regardless of how the relationship went, I move on and go on my own. That’s also my husband’s principles. So I’m not worried about any of my husband’s exes.
He lied = deal-breaker
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I wouldn’t say anything about it at this point but I would get all my ducks in a row and start planning on a life without this sneaky liar. If he lies about that you can only imagine what else he lies about. He can’t be trusted any longer…
The only reason you have to be upset is he told he would cut her off .
Having said that I feel you were wrong to even ask him to do that she is his ex for a reason that shows they did not want to commit to marriage or permanent life together.
My ex was best man at our wedding 1978
and he is still around I go out for lunch with him and “catch up “
My husband is happy and secure with this .
They are now good friends so maybe you should get to know his ex you could end up with a great friend.
When you are adult and in a good relationship with someone you trust their reasons and judgment,I feel you sound insecure and that is not your boyfriends fault he chose to be with you in a full time relationship not her .
I hope you manage to sort this out and have a happy life .
Stop doubting yourself he is with you remember that and give him space
Leopards dont change their spots. Time for change. You deserve better. May well be innocent but you will never know giving you stress you don’t need.
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Well it is wrong that you made your feelings known and he lied and kept doing it…
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Catch up on exactly what? Everything! You need to speak to him on your concerns again .You know what, do what you have to preserve your peace and sanity. Telling him might push him to continue doing it.Clearly your relationship is not that important
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You’ve told him how you feel yet he’s been going behind your back and lying to you…not good why lie? All he’s done is put more doubts in your head…if you have no trust you have nothing I wouldn’t waste my time or his …spend time on your own rediscover you and love you more
Stop wasting your time on someone who clearly doesn’t care what you think. Your BF is still a BOY, find a man and be confident in yourself. Walk away, he wants you begging him, it gives him power, he’s a in charge guy playing with people for power to feel good about himself. You deserve better or be alone and use boys, no attachments. Sometimes life is easier without complications (boys). Good Luck
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It’s the point that he kept it from you
I’m curious as to why he wasn’t honest with you about not cutting her off. This is something to question but not break up over. Communicate and stress the importance of honesty as you both move forward
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Agreed, you shouldn’t of made him give her up as a friend and he shouldn’t of lied to you also, but I’d say he knows your feelings and insecurities about her and didn’t want to hurt you but he also didn’t want to lose her as a friend.
Dump the loser! He’s clearly still hung up on her and just using you!
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The worst part is he is not telling you…I would be more unhappy about that
Oh hell NO!! He shouldn’t be talking to her still much less seeing her!! Nope
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This boils down to one thing: do you trust him? Question answered
Why are you jealous? Why are you trying to control him and say who he can’t hang out with?
Yes and if he’s aware that your upset he should change that bullshit will only get in between you
She can have him. As hard as it is to let go, you’re better off with someone who make you their first priority. He crossed a line.
They want get back together. Side piece ?You don’t keep in touch with exes. There’s a reason they’re exes Kids or not.
Well as the wife the mate and the partner your feelings should have been considered and he should have reduced the contact…but that is neither here or there…he knew how you felt and choose to ignore your request…ask this how would he react if the positions are switched up…would he accept it and be fine with it or would he expect you to consider his feelings?
Whether she is an ex or not… If he’s lyingand disrespecting your wishes and not considering your feelings… RUN!!
Uh yes. He’s going behind your back.
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Uh. I’d be pissed. And he would definitely know it !
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Go ‘catch up’ with him and her also you’ll know what to do next
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