Well yeah, he lied to you. Like, if that friendship really meant that much, and it was innocent he wouldn’t have a reason to hide it.
12 Likes
I would be livid and he would get cut off immediately! That’s betrayal .
10 Likes
Depends on why he’s keeping in touch…
1 Like
He’s still sleeping with her.
9 Likes
8 years is a LONG time to be with somebody and then to throw it all away:/
BUT
It made you uncomfortable. And he needed to cut it off to move forward with you, and he didn’t. Girl you gotta throw that whole man out. 
12 Likes
Bout to catch these hands
7 Likes
I don’t think it’s your place to tell him who he can talk to in the first place. He shouldn’t have lied to you about it but you shouldn’t try to control who his friends are.
16 Likes
If she’s really just a friend then there is no reason you can’t go with next time
17 Likes
I’d be absolutely livid and leave him. That’s WRONG.
5 Likes
Depends on alot… alot of people I know stay in contact with exs. They could.be bestfriends. However if you said it upset you he should stop.or even invite you along if it wasnt a big deal.
2 Likes
Oh you have every reason. I wouldn’t give him a chance, either he leaves or you leave.
1 Like
Yikes. If they meet up def
3 Likes
They are cheating 🤷 Secret meet ups… Still talking… Yeah… Just leave.
8 Likes
Here girl you can have his ass back
Mmmm no… all my exes are excommunicated from my life they are the past and should stay there. Ew.
8 Likes
They have every reason to keep in touch. If they were together for 8 years and are still friends.
5 Likes
I dont see a issue with them having lunch. Now i would be mad he lied but. I he should have came out told you that him and her are friends and he wasnt going to stop being friends with her or stop talking to her. I am still friends with a couple of my exs i still talk to them and go out to lunch to. My husband doesnt care because he trust me and knows i dont wanna be with my exs. I dont think he is cheating on you with her.
3 Likes
I can see both sides of this. Honestly, you should tag along next time. See what it’s all about and see if you can befriend her too.
2 Likes
Over the fact he lied, yes. Not all ex relationships end on a bad note and usually just make better friends, but to be hiding it from you, ummm no sir! If it’s innocent and they’re just friends, he should be inviting you to meet her and proving there’s nothing there. I’m curious as to why it makes you uncomfortable. Had he given you a reason for their “friendship” to make you uncomfortable? If you trust him, it shouldn’t be an issue, BUT he is hiding it, I’d be asking why and wtf.
4 Likes
They were together for eight years and he didn’t marry her? I’m gonna go out on a limb and say that he probably cheated on her and that’s why they broke up. But anyway, you’re his wife and you told him you feel uncomfortable so it should be over. What the hell are they catching up on? 
4 Likes
It’s not really a big deal to be friends with your ex, but it is a big deal to tell your S/O you will stop seeing them and continue to anyways. That’s where I’d draw the line for sure. Either way, keep your head up!
7 Likes
It wouldn’t be an issue if he had been honest from the beginning.
The fact that he had to lie to you to keep being friends with her is suspicious. What is so special that he’s still holding onto?
4 Likes
No way in hell of put up with that.
3 Likes
It’s ok to have a friend but its NOT ok for him to lie to you.
6 Likes
Id be pissed that he lied about it but unless you believe its going further then friends I wouldn’t leave him over it either. I don’t think its right you put up that barrier in the first place though🤷
2 Likes
He hid it from you and kept meeting up with her, he has blatantly proven that she means more to him than you do, or he would never have hidden it and continued to secretly meet up with her.
6 Likes
You should be upset he lied to you and pretended to cut her off.
4 Likes
I’d be pissed. Not because hes still friends with an ex, but because him hiding it is fishy.
My best friend is one of my exs
I never once hid it from my soon to be husband though. In fact when we first got together I was like hey, this dude is my best friend, but we were a thing once, decided it wasnt right for us, and stayed friends. And he was cool with it. Because I laid it all out.
5 Likes
Yes, he lied to you. You have every right to be mad
2 Likes
There was an episode of Gilmore Girls about this. Richard kept in touch with his college/high school sweet heart and Emily found out. Richard lived in the pool house for a long time
6 Likes
Yes, lying is a big deal.
3 Likes
Why arent you invited with them? That’s what i don’t understand?
Any of my male friends I have are invited to my house, my hubby has no problem with that.
No need for secret lunches.
If i found out my hubby was having secret lunches with a female i would consider that cheating.
Either way he is lying to you.
“Those with nothing to hide, hide nothing”
9 Likes
He was dishonest, but stay for what he does right.
1 Like
The fact he didn’t tell you should be ENOUGH reason to believe there’s motive behind why he’s meeting her to catch up…Of course you should be angry, come on…?!
5 Likes
Why can’t he be friends with her? Sounds like you’re insecure. They have a past together, I don’t see why they can’t continue to be friends as long as that’s all it is. You should trust him. And if you don’t, then why are you with him?
8 Likes
I’d definitely be mad he lied, and that he agreed to cut off communication knowing it bothered you, but can’t seem to help himself ? I mean a lot of ex’s stay friends , but no kids, weren’t married, does seem like odd un needed catch up. I’m not sure why he can’t help himself and just be acquaintances with her. No meet ups.
1 Like
Hell yeah you have a right to be upset! What else has he been lying to you about? Or kept from you??? BIG red flag!!!
3 Likes
Same thing happened to me. Was married 10 years with 3 kids, he never even broke up with his x. Still saw her at least weekly, on his weekend fishing trips and working overtime. It was harsh. Get out now. There is a reason she is not visible or known to you all these years. She knows it isn’t right, she knows he is taken. You have nothing if you dont have honesty and trust. You have neither.
7 Likes
He lying he needs to go
4 Likes
Yes. You have every right to be upset.
2 Likes
You have every right to be mad because he lied to you about it. If they were really just friends, he has no reason to lie.
2 Likes
Invite yourself to join them on one of these lunch dates
3 Likes
I wouldn’t be comfortable with my husband secretly meeting up with someone he’s previously had sex with 
But that’s just me. I apparently can’t be an adult about it. But that’s my right as a wife.
5 Likes
Is this seriously even a question???
2 Likes
You have every right to be mad. He lied to you big time. If he hasn’t told you I would be worried about why he’s hiding it.
1 Like
If you already told him how you feel and he’s been secretly meeting her, yes. I think this is not upfront behavior.
1 Like
If it were ME I would be very upset. I’d like to pretend that I’m “not like that” but I am and I would upset for sure. Its not the fact that she is an ex. I believe you can be friends with exs. Its the fact the lied and also meets up with her. TF do they need to catch up on? NOTHING! PERIOD!
8 Likes
Yes you have a right to be upset. You’re not talking about just texting back-and-forth a couple times a month, they are physically getting together. And worse yet, he not only lied to you, but he’s sneaking around behind your back to see her. I will not be OK with that at all
6 Likes
I commented a few minutes ago buuut… There’s a lot of missing info. Why’d they break up? Is she in a relationship? Does her SO know, if so? Have you been uncomfortable because you’ve witnessed inappropriate behaviour? Does she just give off bad vibes? Do you trust him? How’d you find out they were still talking and meeting? Would you be open to meeting her? If so, tell him you’d like to, to ease your own mind. His response will tell you everything. Maybe he hasn’t asked because you’ve already stated you’re uncomfortable. Regardless, don’t just assume cheating, until you have a reason. Idk why ppl can’t understand that some ex’s really are just better off as friends and there’s really no chemistry there except friendship, even if they did date for a while.
1 Like
Why aren’t you invited to their lunches?
7 Likes
I’d definitely be upset as well so you are not wrong for being upset. I would consider it cheating since he lied to you that he supposedly cut it off.
1 Like
Tell him to invite you or he needs to cut the bitch off. Mine includes me in EVERYTHING he does and I don’t even have to ask! 
The lying leaves room for mistrust which leaves room for assumptions and speculation. He’s giving you room and opportunity to second guess your place in his life and that’s disrespectful to you and your relationship. How are you going to thrive in a relationship where you will now second guess if he’s even telling you the truth? Whatever his reasons he brought distrust into your relationship and that’s very hard to get back. Regardless his intentions with his ex the fact he lied about it will make whatever he tells you hard to believe. I don’t know how I’d handle it. Because I do understand wanting to keep in touch but usually I’m very feely and emotional and you never know what emotions are at play. He should of been honest especially if his intentions were pure.
6 Likes
Girl throw the whole man away… I mean what’s there to catch up on seeing how they got a divorce which would mean no need to catch up
4 Likes
Wtf yeah “catch up” my ass
ABSOLUTELY! He not only keeps in contact, he actually sees her?
HELL NO.
4 Likes
I’m of two minds on this.
I didn’t like my husband speaking with his ex. She caused drama. She flirted. And to me she couldn’t respect boundary lines.
I have had a ex contact me. One who was hurt by a more recent ex and he was doing some…soul searching to figure out if he was the problem. It was nothing inappropriate and i didn’t hide it. I have a ex or two that if i ran into I’d probably have a conversation with. The whole how are you doing Hows your family thing in a grocery store line.
Its a double standard i guess. I really don’t mean for it to be, the particular ex’s I’d actually speak to would 100% respect me, my husband, and our marriage.
The biggest issue here is that he lied. If there’s really nothing going on (no sexual interactions) I’d try to work through it. You may not be able to. I’d start with finding out why he can’t leave her alone and go from there. That answer will tells you everything you need to know.
4 Likes
You’re mad for him to have been a mature adult and not broke up with someone on bad terms haha. I’m still good friends with a couple of my ex’s. Still catch up with one of them on occasions and our kids have play dates (would be more often because I love his Mrs, but they live in a different towb). Not all relationships end badly and just because you dated someone doesn’t automatically mean you can’t be friends with them.
The fact that you just now are finding all of this out and it hasn’t been communicated with you means you have the right to be upset. Theres more to that period they have feelings towards M one another still. Doesn’t mean they are acting on them though.
2 Likes
My head would explode
1 Like
If they dont have kids together then yes you have a right to be upset.
6 Likes
I would be more upset of him saying he would cut her off and then not only didn’t cut her off but meets up for lunch… Nan not cool. He’s hiding shit behind your back
I don’t care whether it’s ok for exes to be friends or not. He engaged in an ongoing lie about where he was and who he was with. Unacceptable.
6 Likes
You have every right to be upset !
2 Likes
It’s not right for him to be sneaking around with an ex and lying to you about it. He’s obviously not gonna stop talking to her no matter how uncomfortable it makes you feel. Plus he doesn’t care about lying to you. BUT I feel like it’s wrong to tell people who they can and can’t talk to, it shows a lack of trust, it’s controlling and probably means you have some personal issues. Soooo if you can’t deal with your husband lying and sneaking around, then leave🤷🏽♀️ The ex thing doesn’t bother me personally, because I know that if someone’s gonna cheat, they’re gonna cheat, being anal and controlling their every breath couldn’t change that. I wouldn’t be with someone I couldn’t trust, my boyfriend was friends with a few of his exes and we all went out together sometimes. My big thing is lying and sneaking around, but I wouldn’t ask anyone to change because they won’t. I’d get my ass outta there.
Not okay!!! Sounds like they have something going on.
3 Likes
Yes sorry girl but your man is not over his ex he loves you but wants to be with her
3 Likes
If you have to ask you probly already know the answer and are just looking for validation of your feelings. That’s some really disrespectful shit considering he knows how you felt about it. In my experience men don’t keep in contact with an ex for no reason especially when there are no children involved. If he hadn’t been hiding it from you that would be a different story.
FArķk yes the cheek of them get out now kare
I say the meeting up a little much but if he’s not hiding their text messages then it shouldn’t be a big deal.
2 Likes
The fact that he went behind your back not acceptable
4 Likes
My problem with all of this is that he lied to you
4 Likes
Theirs a reason she is his ex if he is still talking to her then ex isnt gone if they still talk and have lunch sorry he useing you for hisown insecuritys you need to tell him her or you if he not make a decision walk out of his life no kids then they dont have no reason to communicate
1 Like
LYING is not acceptable. Why Lie? Liars get Away with shit when there isn’t any consequences. Then later they create Bigger Lies. You Have Every Right to be Pissed. Not only that He Got Away With Lying because he is still in Touch with his Ex.
It totally depends , if had cheated on you with her or if they’re relationship ended off badly he should cut ties with her. If they seem to be talking to each other as friends only I would be fine with it but he did LIE to you and that’s wrong. He should explain why he did it and apologize.
2 Likes
If I was you I would have already left him. Like you “found out” like this wasnt common knowledge and he has lunches to catch up, fuck that. Thats an ex lover, someone he saw a future with, I dont care how good the break up was when you start dating someone else all that tomfoolery needs to stop. The past should stay in the past especially when he has a new future.
I mean, him hangin with his ex isnt the issue…my husband and I are both friends with multiple of our ex’s. We all hang out together…not a big deal to us… The fact that hes lying and hiding it and after you tell him it upsets you he continues it…that is a problem
3 Likes
He has no business meeting her at all. He shouldn’t be talking to her behind your back.
2 Likes
Out, out not worth it!!!
If it was me I would be most upset he lied and keep it a lie for so long and yes it’s natural to be up set and 100% ok to be upset. If the card was flipped he would not be happy and most likely freak out.
5 Likes
You need to decide if you can live with his friendship. If not then leave. He obviously feels torn between his love for you and his friendship with her.
3 Likes
It’s less about them talking and more about him lying about it . There’s obviously more cause if they were “just friends “ he wouldn’t lie
8 Likes
The fact he lied isnt okay. But as long as it stays just friends I don’t see why not. He don’t need try and hide it. Just know when it’s time to cut it off. Getting flirty etc
3 Likes
He lied to you. Yes, you have every right to be upset.
There should be no secrets in a marriage. EVERYTHING should be out in the open.
9 Likes
You can never be JUST FRIENDS with someone you loved. Especially someone you were intimate with for that long…
7 Likes
Even if they were “just friends” the fact that he lied and said he would no longer see her because of how it made you, his partner, feel-- that’s your red flag. If there was nothing to hide why not be honest? I dont know, I feel like this is going to hurt harder in the end but good luck 🤷
9 Likes
People can be friends with Exs… I’m friends with several of mine and there isnt a chance in hell of anything beyond friendship.
Only issue I see is that you asked him to stop and he continued on without trying to talk to you about it.
4 Likes
Yes and no. It’s shitty of you to expect he walk away from an old friend. But it’s shitty of him to have lied and/or hidden it from you.
I’d be pissed,and pack his crap,and change the locks
3 Likes
He should invite you to met her if he has nothing to hide
8 Likes
I think the problem is he said he would cut contact and he didn’t and you now found out they meet. That is what would upset me.
I think men and women can be friends and nothing more and maybe he and his ex know their would never be happy in a relationship but great as friends. Them being friends I don’t think is an issue.
7 Likes
Jealousy is for grade schoolers. A wasted emotion.
2 Likes
I think you have to take some responsibility for this too; you did place him a position to cut contact / lie to you and /or fight to keep his friendship with her (that you probably wouldn’t have taken well).
I believe people can still be friends after dating. I’m still friends with many people ive dated. We’ve been through alot; when we were dating and when we were friends before and after; just the relationship didn’t work for it’s reasons.
My previous ex of 6 years went through alot with me; he was there when my sister passed away, when I went through court with my ex husband over children custody, when I started my business. We broke up only because our lives where too busy and we wanted different things. But there has been no reason why we haven’t been able to remain friends which we have. He’s since been there for me when I lost my dad, gone back through court with the ex husband again and supported me with furthering my education for work purposes and my career.
And I have similar bonds with many other ex’s. If I was ever to date someone that was uncomfortable with my relationships with my ex’s; the relationship with them would be gone, not my friends. Sure they can met them if they want; but I have no intention of combining friends just because I enter a new relationship.
If you don’t trust your partner with an ex; you don’t trust your partner at all. It’s as easy to cheat with an ex as it is with a random stranger.
The insecurity is yours and you need to own it and deal with it, and remember you asked him to remove her from his life due to your insecurity and not his.
2 Likes
8 years is a long time… if they split amicably, it’s hard to just not talk to someone. However, he lied to you and they meet up, I’d be fuming
1 Like
Had the same exact situation …Everytime I confronted him he lied bout it ! we r now divorced and they were together the day after he moved out of our home .
6 Likes
Haha. I was told an ex was a cousin and I kept her informed of moves bc she was in our Christmas card list. Found out 3 years later.
2 Likes
Then you should tell him you ran into an old boyfriend and you’re going to have lunch with him watch his reaction and I would tell him why is it okay for you but not for me
4 Likes
Hell nah girl. Wouldnt fly with me
6 Likes
I dated a guy over ten years ago, he was in the Marines… Went over to Iraq, we broke up… Lost contact… I moved back to the area … He found out and contacted me… He’s married, wife is pregnant… We met up for lunch one day just a quick catch-up… Nothing was there… He checked up on me a couple times after and we drifted apart again… There was never anything there for either of us and no reason for his wife to be jealous…
Relax… It happens…
1 Like
If they are besties without sex you should not be so upset. Do you love and trust and beliebe in your husband? If so act like it.
3 Likes